I Am That - Session 40 - Chapter 15 - The Gnyani - Part 6

This is the main crux of the last part of the journey,

Letting go of the sense of being this person.

All my life I have built an image,

This is it,

This body,

This mind,

This is the way I walk,

This is the way I talk,

I have an image of me and I believe that image to be me.

Now,

Half way through life I come upon Advaita Vedanta which says,

Wake up,

This is only an image,

This is not you,

Now remember half way through life I realised this,

Now I have to break my entire life's conditioning till now,

So obviously it's not going to be overnight,

You will need to reinforce this new understanding again and again and again because old conditioning takes some time to wither away,

It takes some time to completely shatter away.

This is clear?

So every time you get lost into the belief that I am the person,

Immediately change your stand and if you are not able to change the stand,

You are too caught up in the drama,

Use this self-exploration.

Recognise I am that no-thingness,

But this no-thingness,

This voidness is full,

In this voidness I can see the,

This image of this body,

Headless,

I can see this image,

I can feel sensations,

There are some mental feelings because of the drama that happened,

There are some thoughts,

But that is all that my direct experience is,

My direct experience says in me the voidness was the drama or is the drama depending on the situation,

Is this person,

Is the feeling associated with it,

The thought associated with it and I always remain untouched,

I am not this,

This is who I am.

So the transition from here to here of the I,

Because your I is stuck here,

To the body-mind,

This transition of the I to the voidness,

To the awareness,

To the consciousness,

This takes time for some people,

So use this again and again,

Maybe this self-exploration,

Maybe this understanding,

This reminder by Maharaj,

I am this void,

Emptiness,

Me this drama is happening and then come to the last part of the self-exploration,

I think of something and it happens,

I believe in something,

It projects as a thought,

I believe in something,

It projects as a sensation,

Start seeing this,

This is happening at a very subtle level,

For that you have to be more interested here rather than here,

Just drop being interested in the drama and look within,

This drama that just happened,

How,

Was there something,

Can I recognize the thought,

The desire,

Some manyata,

Manyata is belief,

Assumption,

Something,

Can I recognize something that I held on to and that projected,

I held on to,

It projected,

Held on to,

It projected,

And then prove it to yourself,

Verify it,

Prove it to yourself,

Even the opposite,

Like there are many things that come up and I don't hold on to them,

They don't project,

Yeah,

So if I hold on to a fear,

Oh this should not happen,

Oh there should not be war,

There should not be war,

There should not be war,

I am projecting that kind of news only,

I'm going to have those kind of people only coming and talking to me about war only,

Nobody's talking to me about peace,

I turn on the TV,

They're talking about war,

Yeah,

I'm on Facebook,

Internet,

Whatever you do,

Instagram,

War,

Oh my God,

That's what I am projecting because of my own manyata,

And then there are some things which are just passing by,

An assumption came up,

I didn't hold on to it,

I let go and nothing happened,

It did not project,

Verify both,

So you become very clear,

Oh from me,

The unmanifest,

The manifest happens,

It goes back into me,

The unmanifest,

So I am the unmanifest,

Neither am I the witness,

Nor am I what the witness projected,

Yeah,

Because even the I drops away,

So you have to keep observing the I drop away,

And recognizing the voidness,

The emptiness,

The nothingness that I am,

Clear.

The script has written,

Has been written,

No darling,

What will you do about that,

You can't say no,

I don't like the movie,

Change the movie story right now,

In the middle,

Interval,

Change the story of the movie,

No,

It's interval,

Halfway through the movie,

The movie has to go on till its completion,

Right,

So we have to accept your second half of the movie,

That's where is your real test,

To watch the second half after the interval,

From this stand of being the void,

In which the movie is playing,

Okay,

Let it play,

Big deal,

All right,

Yeah,

That relief is always there at the back of the mind that,

But wait,

It's all happening on its own,

Even if the storm is happening,

It's happening on its own,

I have nothing to do with it,

It's okay if I'm feeling one with it,

Let me just try to come back again and again,

Yeah,

And another thought that came was,

How,

Like I was talking with,

Discussing this yesterday with Maheshwari,

How when somebody else has a problem,

You're able to listen to that,

And unable to listen to that,

And then,

And forget about it,

But when this body has,

Seems to have a problem,

I'm not able to sleep,

That's because if I was just taking a stand of awareness,

I would just see,

Oh,

This image has a problem,

This image has a problem,

And this image has a problem,

And go to sleep,

But the difference is,

I think this image is me,

And that's why I'm not able to sleep,

Perfect,

If I drop that association,

All the,

No matter where the problems are happening,

Which image,

It wouldn't make a difference to me,

Sahi,

Perfect,

Perfect,

Beautiful point,

Yeah,

Take this down as homework from Swati's side,

It's very important to recognize that just because I have image plus sensation here,

And there is the image minus sensation,

I start thinking this is me,

And that is you,

Yeah,

The second level of this is,

I have image plus sensation plus thought,

Thought that I can know directly,

And there,

There is a thought,

Which I cannot know unless expressed through words,

Or through expressions,

Facial expressions,

So then I think this is my thought,

And that is his or her thought,

Your thought,

Yes,

That I and you is created just by these naam roopa,

Name and form,

Yeah,

I'm stuck in this image,

This is roopa,

Yes,

And I'm stuck in that image,

That is roopa,

By these names and forms,

I get confused,

But very clear,

Now that I recognize that I am the void,

In which both these images are there,

One image has sensations,

Another image has no sensations,

That is not proof enough that this is I,

And that is you,

Just because this binocular is closer,

And that binocular is very far away,

So I cannot see through it,

That does not prove that this is I,

And that is you,

Yeah,

So waking up to this reality,

This is the last,

You know the last straw,

The last straw,

That will cut it off,

Oh,

Then you wake up,

Oh,

How silly was I,

Where is the proof,

This is I,

And that is you,

You are also my projection,

I want a darling,

And I manifest a darling,

And then I'm too bored of all happy,

Happy story,

Very boring,

I want some drama,

And I manifest a drama in the form of another person,

I am only doing it,

Now recognizing at the source,

You cannot recognize when you're stuck in the drama,

Where do you recognize,

When I come back to the source,

How is this manifesting,

Yeah,

So the second part of this homework,

Is to recognize,

Where does I jump in,

And when is I not required,

There are times when you're doing mechanical tasks,

That you've been doing for years,

You've been doing the same thing for a very long time,

Some excel sheet work,

You've been doing the same thing for years,

You'll recognize the hands have a memory of that,

The fingers are typing on their own,

They have a memory of it,

It's going on,

On an automaticity,

And I am not involved there,

Now when there is a glitch suddenly in that program,

And it's not working,

Then I come in,

Do you recognize it,

Yeah,

I come in,

And then I get stuck,

Why is this not working,

Why is this not working,

Yes,

I has got involved,

And become the experiencer,

This is the moment to take that step back,

And recognize before this,

The I was not required,

Body mind was running on an autopilot,

Now suddenly I came in,

Because there was some bug in the program,

Or something new in the program,

Something to know,

So from witnessing,

I jumped in,

And I became the knower of the world,

And the moment I become the knower,

I assume this body mind to be the knower,

And the world becomes that excel sheet,

Or whatever that program that you're working on,

This is a very subtle thing to observe,

Yeah,

You will recognize there are times when there is no knowing function happening,

Simply witnessing it's happening mechanically,

Body mind is doing its routine,

Yeah,

Again notice it comes back in,

Again it goes back out,

Now with thoughts also you have to observe,

Then same nonsense thoughts are going on,

Yeah,

They're going on randomly,

You are not getting stuck with them,

Because it's the same songs you were listening to,

The same discussions you were having with your family members,

The same thing going on,

On TV,

The same thoughts,

Suddenly there's a new thought,

A new problem that has,

The I jumps in,

Yeah,

So start recognizing the difference between knowing and witnessing,

Knowing happens only when there is some object to know,

Yeah,

And which has attracted the I,

Yeah,

So the I shifted,

Jumped in,

Became one,

This is step number one only,

Yeah,

To recognize when I jumped from here,

Forgot myself,

Yeah,

Now when you are here,

Back here,

Now step number two is to recognize,

Didn't I project this,

How did I project it,

And did I have a fear that this excel is not going to keep running like this so smoothly,

How can everything be so,

Happy and perfect and hunky-dory,

No,

No,

Do you see this,

The mind has this issue with everything,

So it has an issue even with happily,

Smoothly running stuff,

How can it be so happy and smooth,

There you have introduced a Vigna,

An obstacle,

So our scriptures have very beautifully described this,

That you introduce the Vigna and then you only recognize that I introduced the Vigna,

The obstacle and then you become the Vigna Harta,

You remove the obstacle,

You are the Vigna Harta,

You are Ganesha,

Not somebody else,

Not some idol sitting in a temple,

Yeah,

So when you start recognizing this Vigna Harta quality in you,

Strengthens,

Then this I,

You,

I,

You drops,

Because you see it as a story now,

This distinction that you had created,

This drops,

Wake up to this,

Wake up to this,

It has dropped now,

I have done a big job of Vigna Harta,

Now don't throw water on your work,

Now don't throw water on your work by getting into a second drama,

Again and again hold on to this recognition,

I am the awareness in which there is image plus sensation and there is just image minus sensation minus thought over there,

Hold on to this truth again and again and again and again and if your family members are on board with your Advaita progress,

It's okay to tell them,

You know,

You are just my projection,

You're not telling them for them,

But you're telling them as a reminder for yourself,

As a reminder for yourself,

You are simply my projection,

You're not even real,

An experiment,

Go touch,

Does this touch prove that this person is real?

Just because the person speaks to me,

Is that proof enough?

Yes,

Just isn't this just an image that is a little tangible and this image is more tangible,

That is why there is this I and you,

Experiment with your family members,

Don't write them crazy,

But if they are on the same page,

Slowly bring it home,

So your Vigna,

Your obstacles that you're creating with your family members,

They start dropping away,

You have to build that environment for yourself,

So it becomes very clear,

I am this awareness in which there is image plus sensation,

Image minus sensation,

I,

You,

World projected,

Go back to the source and now start recognizing how I projected it.

No,

The personality itself is the projection of that,

Whose product is the wave?

From where does the wave come?

Who's the source of the wave?

You,

The unmanifest are the source of the manifest.

So,

Even these concepts are coming from the no-thing.

Whatever,

Whatever idea,

Concept,

Belief,

Whatever assumption,

Whatever evil thoughts,

Everything is coming from there,

Not just good thoughts,

Even evil thoughts,

Evil assumption,

Wrong things,

Everything comes from there.

All waves are nothing but H2O.

The ocean is H2O,

The ocean is the source of the wave.

Wow,

And the personality poor thing.

Unnecessary,

Beats itself up,

Takes the blame,

Whatever,

Not only criticizes itself,

Criticizes others,

Pushes others down,

Blames them,

Criticizes them,

Beats them up.

No,

It's not the personality,

It's not happening at this level,

It's like two images on the screen fighting with each other.

You started the story,

You started the story.

No,

The story writer is altogether something else,

Somewhere else,

Outside the film.

He's not even in the film.

Do you see that?

That's what is happening.

We are not recognizing that this is just the film part of it and this will become clearer if you all really earnestly practice.

When you lie down in the night,

Going to sleep,

Only the body-mind sleeps.

I,

The unmanifest reality,

Cannot sleep.

I am beyond sleep and waking.

I'm beyond both.

This has to become more experiential.

This is the part that is lacking.

If this was very clear for you,

You would not get into the bhangad of,

The mess of a waking state dream or a dream dream.

Yeah,

You get into that because you assume yourself to be the subject of the waking dream or the sleeping dream.

And you assume that because you cannot see yet clearly that I am the unmanifest reality,

Which is beyond both waking and sleep.

It's beyond opposites,

No?

It's beyond conscious and unconscious.

Yeah,

So beyond.

That's where you need to deepen your practice.

This should be your number one goal.

Wear your blinders now.

This is it.

I really need to recognize my true self.

When you recognize that,

Then the biggest thing that happens to you,

The first and the biggest thing that happens is that you lose the fear that when this body dies,

I'm going to die.

Because you no more associate with this body.

You recognize that,

Oh,

In the sleeping dream,

I associated with that dream subject that was running away from the tiger.

Yeah,

That dream subject,

I thought I was,

But when that died,

I didn't die.

The same thing will become very clear for the waking state.

In the waking state,

In the waking state,

I think I am this body mind labeled as Ekta.

No,

I'm not this.

I am the supreme reality.

I cannot die.

I am beyond life and death.

So you will go beyond the opposites.

Yes,

So Gurukul is only for those people who are very serious about it and want to get there experientially,

Not just theoretically.

So please deepen this practice.

Take this down as the homework again.

Every night,

Every night,

Come what may,

Without fear,

When I lie down,

I remind myself,

Only this body mind sleeps.

I do not sleep.

Yeah,

So now it's time to deepen your Swapna Nidra Gnyana.

You brought up Vijnahartha,

How I am Vijnahartha.

So I am also Brahma,

The creative function.

I am also Vishnu,

The operating function,

And I'm also Mahesh.

Mahesha who destroys the more personal world.

Is that correct?

Absolutely.

I am the one who is creating it.

I am the one who is maintaining it,

And I'm the one who's destroying it.

I get nothing.

I'm the one who's creating it.

I'm the one who's maintaining it,

And I'm the one who's destroying it.

I get bored.

Have you noticed the mind can never be happy?

Have you stopped trying to please the mind?

I was telling Aditya today,

I want a pot.

Do you have a friend who's a potter who can make me a pot?

But you make me a pot,

And you remove the bottom of the pot,

And he was like,

You've told me this,

Please don't say this to anybody else.

Didn't get it,

What I was saying at that moment.

I wanted the pot to be like an example,

You know,

To show it to you,

To always be by my side.

See,

This is the mind,

And it is bottomless.

Whatever I put into it,

It is going to pass through.

It is never ever going to be full.

Never.

Impossible.

So stop trying to please the mind.

One day I'm going to be happy.

Not possible.

It's not happening.

Only when you give up that effort,

Do you give up the lust of wanting to be the person.

Why do you want to be the person?

Have you investigated that?

Have you inquired,

Why do I like to be this person called Ekta in this world,

This family member,

This IT professional,

This label,

That label?

Why do I like to be this person?

Because I have an expectation that being something,

Becoming something will satiate this pot.

Someday this pot will become full.

But it never becomes full,

Because it's bottomless.

Doesn't have a bottom.

So if you have a friend who is a potter,

Ask him to make me that pot.

Yeah,

Bottomless pot.

When you get over that desire,

That I want the mind to become happy,

Then you will very easily disconnect with this body-mind,

As if it was never yours.

You will disconnect with this personality and you will see yourself as the void in which everything is happening,

As the screen on which the images are dancing,

As the background of everything.

Okay.

It's like,

Look at how I'm creating,

Recreating the same cycle of wanting,

Not wanting,

Again wanting it,

Again wanting it.

Yes,

Yes.

Is this clear for everybody that you're doing this?

Yeah,

When everything is smooth,

No?

You don't want it to be smooth.

That's when you project something.

And then you project the drama and then you grieve,

No,

This is not me.

And then you want the drama to halt.

And the drama halts.

Then everything becomes quiet.

Then you don't like it quiet again.

Again you project it.

Again you do blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

Yes,

You are doing this.

Wake up.

Recognize mind does not want to accept this.

It's saying,

No,

No,

I'm not the doer.

Now very conveniently he wants to take on the knowledge point and say,

Yes,

Yes,

She has taught me already.

I'm not the doer.

I'm not doing this.

That is at the body-mind level.

Now,

When you come to this unmanifest reality,

It is all-doing.

Yes,

Everything is done by it.

Is done by it.

That is the creative function of it.

Doer of everything.

Maharaj has recognized I am that unmanifest reality in which there is this creative function.

I am not this creative function.

I have got nothing to do with it.

That's when he disconnected not only with the body-mind and the world,

He disconnected even with God,

That creative function that manifests all this.

He says,

I've got nothing to do with God.

All this manifestation is his.

But I am that earth on which all this has grown.

Yes,

This,

He says,

This earth is my own space,

In my own right.

Nobody has given that to me.

Means that nothingness,

That nobody can give it to you.

Nobody can take it away from you.

Not even God.

How do you verify this?

Again,

Back to that practice of when I sleep,

I recognize it's only the body-mind that sleeps.

I cannot sleep.

I cannot be awake.

I remain untouched.

I am beyond both.

This is that hakachi zawa,

That place which is my own right.

Very clear?

So then that creative function also does not bother me because I do not give it any more importance.

Not giving it importance means what?

Assumptions stop happening.

They stop manifesting.

Past assumptions that were made,

They are going to manifest.

If I held on some fears from the past,

They will continue to do their thing.

Some cravings from the past,

They will continue to do their thing.

But there is no new manifestation now.

So he says,

I have got nothing to do with God.

This is that subtle work that you have to do now.

Do you recognize you have gone beyond the witness level to the level of primordial awareness and you're working here?

Becoming clear.

What is the work?

Just to become clear.

Because it's not very clear yet experientially.

I see the I,

I see the I dissolve,

But it comes back so fast.

I don't have that gap enough to work or to become clear about things.

So I have to be more antarmukhi,

More inward turned.

So I see,

Yes,

My assumption manifested,

My assumption manifested.

Can I stop assuming?

Can I just disconnect with this creative function?

It is not some other entity,

Okay?

It is me only.

I am brahman.

This creative function is also brahman.

It's not separate.

This body,

Mind,

Person,

So-called person is also brahman.

This world is also brahman.

These are all waves.

I am the ocean.

I have to just recognize very clearly I am the ocean and not the waves.

Thank you.