I Got Into An Argument And Wasn't Able To Separate Myself As The Witness From The Drama

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Super Conquest 2.

Hitting the camera.

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Slowing down 4.

So that is obvious it's going to happen because you have a certain habit pattern with your brother since you'll have been little babies.

Okay so this dates back the longest I think you wouldn't have a habit pattern as long as you would have with your own sibling.

Yes and that habit pattern is like a seed that is sown for whatever 20 years of your life.

Continuously you sow a particular seed you have a particular way of reacting with him and you will always say the same things you will always do the same things and just to poke you he will still continue to do the same things like you throw shoes into the middle of the room because you don't like it.

So brothers do what they do.

So this has created seeds and these seeds I'm going somewhere with that so just bear with me so this has you have planted these seeds growing up and they keep sprouting and they keep sprouting in the way of anger coming up in the exactly the same manner as you got angry few years ago or saying exactly the same things to him that you said to him few years ago and that's why even this happens with mom and mom and you also mom says the same thing to you and you say you always say the same thing.

Yeah so you're seeing this happening yeah these are habit patterns.

Advaita is saying number one you recognize you are the witness of the habit pattern you are not this habit pattern you had identified till now as what is your name Preethi yeah you had identified as Preethi Preethi is just the name given to this mind and this body but really I am not Preethi I am that witness the one who is witnessing all this happen yes till now I was not aware that I am the witness it's like I gave you a particular role to play in a play in a drama you start rehearsing practicing you do like you put in your 100% I have to be the queen of England and I have to do this like so well that everybody in the audience feels that I am the queen of England and then you rehearse day and night rehearse day and night and you start feeling you're the queen of England you start behaving like the queen of England at home at school and with friends and office wherever you are and then everybody is like hello get out of this thing no you are not that you are Preethi that's what Advaita is telling you get out of that queen of England mode you are not you are the witness yes so it's like a kind of shaking us out of what we are not what we had assumed to be now you immediately don't get out of that character for some time a friend reminds you you're not the queen of England please behave normally when you start behaving normally but because you've conditioned yourself who have to really act well on stage so I have to go back into the character and you go back into the character so this is what is happening with you that you recognize that I am the witness but again your brother came into the scene and you became Preethi and you became that system and that sister and brother thingy drama play goes on you assume that and now it's very hard for you when you assume that to recognize the witnessing but as soon as this drama is over you come back and then you're like oh why couldn't I do it there and that's fine that's fine this is itself a victory that you could do it before and after yes this itself gives us proof that I can do it throughout like you're talking to me you're speaking with me yeah you're saying the head is nodding the mind is saying yes there's somebody who is witnessing it correct yeah so in a calmer kind of situation you are able to do it yeah where you're just interacting with a person you're able to knowingly be the witness increase this ability increase it at work with non-brother situation non-mother situation not situations where you get into that where it's easy like simple simple tasks in the house cleaning watering the plants simple tasks you start practicing it and slowly slowly you'll notice that even in the most turbulent situation there is a witness and sometimes the mind does take a dip into the witness becomes calm silent and comes back saying stop saying what you're saying this is rude yes but you're like no he said it first so I'm going to say it yeah yeah so this does happen with us this the shuttling does happen and it will take its time give it its due time a point will come where this will stop and you will always be in the witness okay so then my other question well okay based off that I sat down in my room and I just like sat quietly and like processed what just happened after the argument and I tried to do that mirror thing that we did on Sunday over the weekend and I'm sitting on my bed looking in the mirror directly across from me and I had this moment of I didn't really recognize the person in the mirror like I didn't associate that person with like yes ownership yeah yeah and so then I was like okay but it only lasted maybe like a minute and then I like looked down at like maybe my hands and I was like they again like no ownership to them right and then my mind starts talking and it's like oh you've only been doing this for a short time like there's no way that this is actually what you're supposed to be experiencing this is not the witness either this is just the mind playing games with you now no this is I don't know if I was real or not real it was real it was real it's like a sense the witness is telling you that see this is not I it does not speak in words it's the mind that dips back into that silence and comes up with the words and you just have that kind of a sense yeah I am separate from this body yes okay this that you are experiencing now this becomes very clear as you mature spiritually so the people who are enlightened the sages they can disassociate from the body it's not a magical power it's exactly what you experienced and they know it 24 7 that this is not I I have a body I am not the body this is their living reality yes so even if there is a little accident a wound or the body is diseased they they always see it as of course it hurts but I am not hurting there is pain in the body but I am not hurting I am separate from the body I can I notice the pain it's not that he does not feel the pain in fact he might feel the pain more than us because he's hundred percent there so he feels the pain but he does not associate with it as I or mine okay right