Nisargadatta I Am That Session 2 Q&As On 'The Sense Of I Am'

We are going there.

Yes that's what entire Advaita Vedanta explanation is about.

How to recognize who am I and how to remain steady as that I am.

Even the I am is only a pointer there is a big I in that.

Do you see that?

Even that is just temporary.

Even that will collapse.

So we are going there step by step.

Yes so don't remain stuck in the I am also and don't remain stuck in the experience that I am holds on to and makes it mine.

All will slowly slowly drop as we go.

But step by step what was told to you in last week's session and this morning's session.

Again and again just recognize oh I am the witness.

I am not this thought that has come up.

I am not this feeling that has come up.

I'm not this perception of this computer.

I'm not the sensation that this perception is evoking in this body.

Again and again just learn to separate it out.

Yeah first step is separation.

The problem is people assume oh I already know this.

The moment you have said I already know this you have cut out your possibility of even learning the skill of separating it out moment to moment moment to moment.

That is what gets you there.

Yeah a lot of people assume that I already know it and they miss out this main foundational step.

Then they'll do all the complicated things.

They will explain perception to you like an Advaitan master.

They will explain sensations and thoughts and what thoughts do and how many thoughts can you have and the whole encyclopedia about thoughts,

Sensation,

Perception.

They are explaining to you but I am illai.

Why?

Because the main thing has been forgotten.

The continuous exploration within.

Do you understand?

This is an exploration session.

This is not a spiritual entertainment session.

We are just going to listen to it and forget about it.

It's not going to work.

You're going to find yourself in an Advaita one batch again after six months.

Yeah so be very sincere.

What is being sincere?

Number one you have been provided a homework document.

Did you even open it?

Honestly how many of you didn't even open it?

Put your hand up.

You did not open it.

This is a sign of insincerity.

Do you get it?

You find yourself again in another Advaita one session within six months.

Do not waste.

Do not waste time.

Enough you have wasted time on the path of Dwaitam.

Enough number of years you have already spent.

No more wasting time.

Whatever I do I do it thoroughly.

Yes?

Do you all promise yourself to do this?

Yes?

Maharaj will tell you today.

I will not tell you.

Maharaj is going to tell you that.

Yes?

That if the disciple only is not ready teacher cannot do anything.

Yeah?

So it's got nothing to do with the teacher or the teaching.

It is totally in your hand.

So make that necessary effort.

Very important on this path.

Okay?

So number one again and again just separate yourself out from the thought,

The sensation,

The feeling or the perception with which you become one.

Yeah?

See your children or your family member comes into the room.

What happens to you?

Immediately you get into the skin of the wife or the husband or the father or the mother or the son or the daughter.

Immediate.

You've forgotten I am.

You've forgotten that background.

Immediately you get into that role.

The first step is separating yourself out and recognizing no I am not this.

I am not this.

I am not this.

What did Maharaj say in the first chapter?

How do you get there?

Only by negation.

Do you remember that?

We did that last week.

Yeah?

I can get there only by negation.

So did you practice that for one week?

If you did not practice last week,

Okay.

I did not practice last week.

This week I take it up.

I practice number one.

What?

What did Maharaj tell us?

Neti neti.

I am not these thoughts.

I am not these perceptions.

I'm not these sensations and I'm not these feelings that have come up.

Again and again separate it out and recognize I am that changeless background on which these arise and fall.

They arise and fall.

They are like waves.

They arise and fall.

It's very simple.

It's just a sense of I am and that I am becomes the wife.

That I am becomes the daughter.

Suddenly you start playing that role.

That is the moment you've taken on this personality.

This personality is nothing but a role given to me to play in this particular stage.

This dream stage.

Yeah?

And I just play that role.

I get consumed in it and I forget who I am.

That's all.

I have forgotten.

All I need to do is again remember.

Oh and that changeless quiet background.

I am not this daughter or this wife.

I am not this person.

I am not the thoughts.

I am not the feelings.

Again and again just do the neti neti and get back.

By negation you just get back to that sense of being.

That sense of I am.

Yeah?

Let them drop.

Let them drop.

What wants to go and catch them?

Yeah?

The craving goes out and says this is mine.

I want to be this or this is how it should be.

Again recognize.

I am again become this new thought called the craving.

Again and again step back.

Step back.

Step back.

This is what most people miss because they assume I have been walking the spiritual path for 10-15 years.

I know this.

Big difference in knowing the path and walking the path.

Big difference.

Most of you know it but you don't walk it.

I don't know what Christmas are you waiting for when you're going to start walking.

No.

This session is about walking.

This session is not about knowing.

Yeah?

If you're not getting into exploration you will be asked to step out of this session also.

You have to become very serious about exploring.

What is exploration?

I actually see yes.

See now I have become the thought.

I have become this particular sensation.

Some little feeling.

Some stomach burn you have because of eating something wrong or whatever.

Whatever.

Little bit of stomach burn.

What happens to you?

My stomach is burning.

This is so bad.

This is so bad.

I always have this.

I never enjoy any food and blah blah blah blah blah blah.

I have become that story.

I am the cause of my suffering.

Nobody else has brought that suffering to me.

I have caused the suffering.

It was a simple thing.

There is some sensation.

That's all it was.

I can remain as the changeless background.

Observe that the sensation arises.

Plays for a while and goes away.

And the story would have ended right there.

What did I do?

There is a sensation.

I jumped in.

I added one thought and another thought and another thought and I created a big disco dance over there.

And then I only say all bad things happen to me only.

All sorrows of the world come to me only.

One heartburn?

What did I make out of a heartburn?

I'm just giving you a simple example.

You apply it in your life.

Your wife or husband or family member comes and says one little thing to you and you go on and on and on and on and on and on and you make such a big drama out of it.

This is what we call suffering right?

Suffering is in my mind.

It's got nothing to do with that person.

It's got nothing to do with an external food item that I ate and I got heartburn.

The drama,

The suffering was created by me.

And how did I create that suffering?

Very simple.

I missed out on the first step.

I am that changeless background in which this little sensation of heartburn is arising.

Yes right there I can cut it out.

It is arising.

It's playing for its whatever shelf life is and it dissolves.

I can remain as that changeless background.

My problem is I identify with it and I create the whole drama.

That is misery.

Now after creating the whole drama then you come to Ekta and say now you help me with this drama.

Too late.

Too late.

Ekta is telling you right at the first step you have to be a sense of I am.

Recognize that.

Take that step there.

Now you can only do damage control after the drama.

No point.

Right at the beginning.

Right at the beginning.

Again and again Maharaj is telling you Neeti.

Neeti.

I am NOT this sensation.

I am NOT this thought.

I am NOT this feeling that has arisen.

Yeah and I am NOT this perception.

Again and again withdraw.

Withdraw.

First step is missed by 99% of the Advaitins because Advaita Vedanta is so yummy and delicious intellectually stimulating that people forget this main step.

Yeah So this is the main step.

Again and again Neeti.

Neeti.

Withdraw.

Yeah drop all intellectualizations.

All flowery words.

Yeah there are no layers we are talking about.

Drop all these words.

Just become very clear.

The sense of I am is my only anchor.

My lifeline.

My life jacket.

Yeah On the path of Advaita Vedanta we are very clear that Atman is not an individual soul but it is nothing but the Self and it is recognizable as that sense of I am.

The witness.

You will progress as you go.

You will see the witness also collapse and there is just the pure consciousness that takes some time for some of us who are not ripe yet.

Those who are ripe can get there very quickly.

Yeah but we are not entertaining the idea of a soul and we are not entertaining any ideas from the Dwaitam path because they only confuse the mind more and they just add stories and make God a bearded man sitting up in the sky sitting in heaven writing a nice scoreboard for you.

All those are not really entertained on the path of Advaita.

Advaita Vedanta is 100% experiential.

Here and right now by all of us.

Nobody is special.

There is no miracle.

There is no person who can suddenly start dancing and God enters his body and he can bless somebody.

He has some miracle.

Not entertained on the Advaita Vedanta path.

If you're looking for miracles,

You're looking for blessings and you're looking for some out-of-the-world enigmatic experience,

Some jadu,

Chamatkar,

Voodoo magic.

Nothing like that is happening here.

Advaita Vedanta is very clear and experiential.

Yes it is possible for each one of us to experience it.

So recognize there is only one clarity that I am that witness.

I am the awareness.

Awareness is equal to witness,

Is equal to consciousness.

Is this very clear?

Yes.

So there is that witness or the awareness.

That is who I am.

I forget who I am.

I forget who I am.

I forget who I am.

That is who I am.

I forget who I am.

I assume myself to be the thoughts and I create drama at the thought level.

I forget who I am.

I the awareness or I the witness forget who I am.

I become that feeling.

I think I am anger and then I create the drama.

Yes I the awareness forget who I am and I become the perception.

The perception of taste or the perception of smell.

Yes I think this is me.

This is my identity.

Yes I am an angry person.

I am a very thinking person.

Oh I am a very,

I'm a glutton.

I eat a lot.

Yeah I have become I have become either the feeling or the sensation or the perception.

Are you seeing this?

I forget myself and I identify wrongly with these things.

These belong only to the mind.

Did you do that today in the video?

Yes.

Perception,

Sensation,

Thought,

Feeling are only mental phenomena.

Yes.

Yeah I do not experience the external world of physical objects.

In my pure experience there is only mental phenomena happening.

Yes.

Yeah.

So whose experience am I talking about?

I the witness,

The awareness.

I forget myself and become these mental phenomena.

I'm talking about the word I.

The word I is even not there.

It was like an awareness.

Super,

Super,

Fantastic.

So you this chapter number two that we are going to start.

Maharaj says very soon you find that the sense of I am also drops.

There is no I to be found there.

It's just a void,

A space,

A quietness.

There is no I.

Super,

Very good.

So you've already gone ahead.

Now stay there okay.

Now you maintain that throughout the week.

Not just Saturday,

Sunday.

Throughout the week I have to maintain that.

Good job.

So Advaita Vedanta is only about recognizing who am I really.

That's it.

The people who are lost in perception,

Sensation,

Feeling and thought get lost in analysis of this because they are very scared,

Very afraid to just be I am.

Have you noticed that coming up you cannot stay there long?

How many of us have noticed it?

The ego does not like it.

The ego relishes in analyzing thoughts,

Types of thoughts,

How many thoughts come.

It wants to analyze how many perceptions are there,

How long the perceptions come,

Why they come.

The ego loves analysis and gets lost in this.

Are you seeing this?

Yeah so she knows that that is your thing.

Trying to find the juice in the that which I perceive and I get lost in.

My job is again and again to recognize I am that quiet changeless background.

It's changeless.

There is no change there.

It is quiet.

It is timeless.

It is spaceless.

Can I just be there again and again,

Again and again,

Again and again.

Advaita,

The ultimate knowledge is given to you right at the beginning.

Right at the beginning.

There is nothing more you're going to learn.

Right at the beginning it is told to you.

Why?

So that you know your address on the GPS.

The two,

The destination is given to you.

Yeah maybe you just get a glimpse of it in the beginning.

Only a glimpse of that sense of I am is there and again I got lost in my thoughts.

Again I get a glimpse only and I get lost again in my feelings.

Doesn't matter.

At least you know your destination now.

Yeah because of habit pattern you might still keep getting lost.

You have to just recognize my destination is that.

That is where I'm going.

That gives you the conviction that I'm on the right path.

On the Dwaitam path,

The duality paths,

Most of us have come from the path of Dwaitam.

On the Dwaitam path,

The destination is never given to you.

Never given to you.

It is always told to you,

You will get there one day.

You will get there one day.

Oh you have so many lifetimes to get to it.

Yeah so you're not given the destination on the path of Dwaitam.

On the path of Advaita,

It's exactly the opposite.

You're given your destination right in chapter one.

Right in the beginning.

You are the witness.

Then you get a glimpse of the truth and you're like ah now I have tasted the truth.

Now there is no going back for me.

So now I will slip.

I will stumble.

I will fall a zillion times.

I will stand up again because I know where I have to go.

Because I've tasted it.

Do you see the difference?

Yeah now you will be able to go only because you have tasted it.

Yeah there are no belief systems.

You believe me.

I am the guru so you believe me.

No it doesn't work like that on Advaita path.

On Advaita path,

You are shown this glimpse,

That sense of I am.

Did all of us get it?

Can you put up your hands?

All those who got the sense of I am,

I am,

Even in one single glimpse?

See 100 percent.

Do you get it?

Right in the beginning,

You get the glimpse.

Right in the beginning.

Then you keep stumbling and only whatever you're stumbling on,

Those blocks,

You have to start building because you already know where you're going.

So you start building.

Oh I fall a lot in feelings.

I'm the emotional kind of person or some intellectual person falls all the time into thought.

You see which are your pitfalls.

Everybody is different.

Slowly,

Slowly you will be able to build your path and get there.

Not I.

Even the I has to drop.

You remember he said in the first chapter,

Even this sense of I am is a pointer to look into that direction.

The sense of I am also drops.

And what?

Not find the I.

There was just this space,

This void.

So you know it is very doable.

It is very doable.

If it is not there,

How do you live day to day?

Because these masalas are not there.

No,

No,

They are all there.

Nobody has disappeared from my life.

Everybody's there.

You are very much there,

Priya.

Everybody is there.

Everything is there.

My wrong identification as this body mind called Ekta is not there.

My wrong identification has dropped off.

I know that I am that changeless,

Peaceful,

Timeless background on which the perception of this body has come up.

Here clearly,

I am not saying the body.

The perception of this body.

Then there is the perception of this world.

There is just thoughts.

There is just sensations.

And then there are just feelings.

There is no fifth outside these four.

There's just perception,

Sensation,

Feeling and thought.

You will not find a fifth.

That is all that is there and I,

The changeless background.

Oh,

I keep getting lost in it.

I keep getting lost in it.

And that's where I created the misery for myself.

So now,

With this new recognition,

All that is missing is the misery that has dropped off.

The wrong identification as this personality called Ekta in this world has dropped off.

That recognition of that soft peace,

That bliss,

That consciousness,

That is the only thing that is pervading.

So it's very doable.

Each one of you can get there.

So now,

When I am the changeless background,

I am the awareness.

I am witnessing that this body-mind complex called Pratibha is sitting in office with these people and interacting.

When you have successfully separated yourself,

You will come to a point where you will see the body-mind functions automatically,

Like on an autopilot mode.

I don't have to be feverish about talking or doing something,

Taking this decision.

I do not have to crave or be averse to something.

It happens on an autopilot mode.

You will recognize this only if you properly separate yourself and just stay as the witness.

Like right now,

I am not making the effort of answering Pratibha's question.

Not at all.

It is automatically happening and I can see that the hands of this body are moving,

The lips are moving,

Some words are coming out.

I am completely uninvolved.

Yes,

You can get to that with practice.

Practice is just a word that is used.

It's not practice.

It's just making that effort to not slip into the wrong body-mind identification.

That's it.

Just stay as the awareness.

Just stay as the witness.

It will come up in chapter number three.

It's not too far.

There is a part of you that does not want to walk the spiritual path.

There is a part of you that wants to find juice in people,

In situations,

In things,

In money and say,

This is all,

You know,

Only for Sunday,

One hour.

That is okay.

The rest of the time,

You give to me.

I want to enjoy the juice of this world.

Do you recognize that part in you?

Yes,

That part in you brings up these complexities.

Makes it more complicated for you only to understand.

Every time something very complex comes up in your mind,

Recognize it's unnecessary complicating it.

It is so simple,

The sense of I am.

Moment to moment to moment,

I recognize it.

It is that simple.

It's only the ego trying to manipulate me because it does not want to do this.

You have to find your own inner demon and you have to shut it off.

Nobody else can help you.

Yeah,

It is very simple.

The entire path is as simple as it can be.

Kirti's daughter is eight years old.

Kirti spoke to her for less than five minutes.

We have a recording.

She spoke to her less than five minutes.

See,

She gave her some candy or something and she said,

Now who's seen the candy?

Now,

Are there thoughts?

She said,

Yes,

There are thoughts about the candy.

And then she said,

Can you see some two eyes beyond the candy?

And she's like,

Yes.

She immediately got it.

The sense of I am,

She calls it the thingy because it's too big for an eight-year-old to say sense of I am too much.

She calls it the thingy.

And she says,

Oh,

The thingy does not allow me to do bad things to my brother.

The thingy says not to be mean.

So I'm not going to shout at him,

Mummy.

So she got it like that.

It is so simple.

If an eight-year-old can get the witness,

Why can't you?

You can.

It's only your ego that doesn't want to get it and complicates it and wants to manipulate you.

Now it's your job to recognize this.

I mean,

I was just asking the question,

But it applies to each one of us.

Yes.

So recognize this truth.

Yes,

My ego does that.

It complicates very simple things.