Nisargadatta's I Am That Session 30 Appearances & Reality I

So,

The chapter's name is Appearances in Reality.

I will first introduce the Marathi names to you.

Even if you don't know Marathi,

Attempt to at least write it in that way so you can pronounce it at least,

Even if you don't know Marathi.

So,

The first word is Abhaas.

Abhaas is the word for Appearance.

You can write it in English A-A-B-H-A-S-H Abhaas.

So,

Abhaas means Appearance and Nirabhaas means Reality.

I will explain it to you as we go.

Marathi,

Not Hindi,

Marathi.

Marathi is slightly different than Hindi.

So,

Abhaas means that which appears.

Yes.

Nirabhaas means that which does not appear at all.

Yes.

Now,

You recognize I am Awareness.

Does Awareness appear?

Does it have a form?

No,

It doesn't have a form.

There is no appearance.

So,

It doesn't appear,

It doesn't disappear.

Do you get it?

Nirabhaas.

That is the meaning of Nirabhaas.

That which doesn't appear,

Which doesn't disappear.

It's formless.

Nirabhaas.

Reality.

The title is clear.

Abhaas and Nirabhaas.

Now,

Let's understand the meaning of the title before going into the chapter.

When I was a little baby,

Just born,

Little baby,

And I looked at mummy,

I looked at papa,

I looked at the world around me.

Maybe I'm still in the hospital.

I'm just looking at the world around me.

Everything that is,

Whatever is,

They are not individual objects in my understanding.

For me,

It's one single screen with some moving images on it.

I do not even distinguish between the screen being separate and image being separate.

I have not learnt anything.

I am absolutely pure.

Yes,

I have not understood any learning.

There's no learning,

Zero learning at this moment.

So,

There is no conditioning.

Yes,

This is the state where I am Nirabhaas.

And everything is Nirabhaas.

There is no appearance,

No disappearance.

There is no form only.

I don't see it as separate forms.

I don't have any names.

I have not gone into Nama Rupa at all.

Is this clear?

There is just simply awareness that has come on and this awareness has some shapes and colours and some movement in that shapes and colours.

It's all like a game,

Very beautiful.

Twinkling stars,

That's all.

Very clear?

Nirabhaas.

So,

You were Nirabhaas.

Each one of you went through this state.

Yes,

Now what happened?

How does Abhaas start coming?

As you start growing,

You start playing with your toys.

Mummy says,

Hey,

Play with your toy.

Don't play with my DVD.

Give my DVD back.

You have still not started understanding language but you started understanding communication.

She takes a DVD away from you and she gives you a toy.

So,

The mine and yours.

That's where conditioning starts.

This is I and that is you and this toy is mine and that is your toy because you don't know what's a DVD.

Don't play with my DVD.

As you grow up,

All things start getting their labels.

Don't blame mummy.

Don't blame dad.

They did their best and I'm sure most of your parents,

You did your best,

Whatever you could learn.

But that's really how we catch on to conditioning.

Yes,

And then you are dressed up in a particular colour and you are again and again told,

Oh my darling angel,

My little girl,

My princess.

Then you say,

Okay,

I am a girl.

And the boys are taught,

Oh,

You are my darling prince,

My Raja beta.

Okay,

I am a boy.

So,

Then the boy and the girl conditioning comes up.

Do you see that?

Now,

Slowly,

Slowly conditioning is increasing.

How does I am the doer come up?

Mummy says,

Don't play over there.

Do this.

Don't do that.

You've created a mess.

Make it clean.

Remove all the toys from the room.

Oh,

I am the doer.

I am the mess creator.

I am the cleaner.

Do you get it?

These are very subtle things.

You've still not started learning language,

But doership education starts happening.

As you're growing,

These things start appearing.

So,

This is called Abhaas.

Appearance of labels as I am growing up.

Not just,

I am the doer.

I am the experiencer even.

Your mother dresses you up in a beautiful thing.

Now,

Here the girl was given all a rose tiara and said,

See,

You look so beautiful.

Don't you feel like a queen?

Yes,

I feel like a queen.

I am a queen.

I am the princess.

And you're feeling all happy there.

I am the experiencer.

A mischievous boy in the group comes and takes your tiara away.

And now I am the experiencer of pain.

I am not the queen anymore.

So,

I am the experiencer starts.

So,

These things happen at a very subtle level.

And then,

Of course,

They pile on throughout life.

As you keep moving through life,

This keeps growing.

As you grow older,

Then you get into,

Oh,

I am being not accepted by friends or not accepted by society.

Nobody likes me.

I'm all alone.

Things like that just start piling onto previous impressions.

This is how conditioning goes on.

You get married,

You have new conditioning now.

New experiences.

I am the experiencer of a new phase in my life.

This gets strengthened and strengthened.

And then you have your babies and their entire growing phase.

The whole thing repeats.

Then you come to old age.

And if you have not been lucky enough to really find a path,

You're still stuck in the same.

I am the doer.

I am the experiencer.

I am a man.

I'm a woman.

Very clear how these things subtly started and grew,

Grew,

Grew through my entire life and have shaped me to be this person.

And now I believe in this person.

Yeah.

So,

Now Advaita comes my way and Advaita completely crashes this idea.

It says,

No,

I am not this body and mind.

See,

Take a step beyond and see,

I am awareness.

In this awareness,

I recognize there is a body and mind,

Which is nothing but a binocular through which I'm looking out.

I see the lower part of this binocular.

Yeah,

I don't really see the complete binocular and this binocular gives me a vision into this waking dream world.

So,

Advaita crashes this.

But remember,

Now you have so many years of conditioning.

I showed you from babyhood till adulthood and now just a few years of Advaita.

So,

You see the competition is strong for Advaita.

Very strong competition.

It has to really work very hard to erase these years of Abhaas to bring you to Nirabhaas.

So,

Before we begin the chapter,

Only I'm giving you homework.

Divide your page,

A new page into Abhaas and Nirabhaas.

Under Abhaas,

You will write all the strong conditionings that still hold you,

Still are grasping you very strongly.

See,

Some of you have been on path of Advaita for two years,

Three years.

Some of you have just been here six,

Eight months.

Yeah,

So everybody's at different levels.

So,

You will have different kind of conditioning holding on to you.

So,

You write down whatever you think,

Whatever the Abhaas is that is still really holding on strongly to me.

Maybe some religious conditioning is there that is still not gone,

Which makes me believe I am a religious person.

I am a good person.

Some of you just started the path six,

Eight months ago and now you have new label,

No?

Advaitin.

I am an Advaitin.

This is also new labels you're collecting.

You're still getting stuck.

It's not that you were stuck only in the material world.

Even on the spiritual path,

You get stuck.

Some of you became like so good in volunteering and now you're like,

I am this volunteer.

Ekta always tells me to do this.

I am the best volunteer.

What has happened?

New label.

All labels I have to drop.

I have to recognize this is something that is holding on to me.

I have to drop.

Okay,

So these are a few examples I gave with respect to what I see in Jnana Sangha,

But at home what you see with your family.

Oh,

I am still very attached to this.

Or what you see at work.

I'm very attached to this.

Maybe your name,

Your position,

Something,

Whatever is there related to office.

See with your social circle.

What am I attached to?

All the appearances that I am attached to,

Which still make me believe I am this person.

I am the person.

Very,

Very clear.

For the people who have a Hindi background and are getting confused between Abhaas in Hindi,

The correct translation in Hindi would be Ehsaas.

The Ehsaas that makes you feel that I am this body,

This mind.

That Ehsaas,

That is Abhaas in Marathi.

Homework is clear?