Nisargadatta's I Am That Session 9 - What Is Born Must Die!

Today we will do chapter number five.

What is born must die.

Just to remind you what we did in the previous chapter.

He says real world is not what you think it is.

It is a waking dream.

You're not seeing it clearly.

In this waking dream there is a dream world and I the dream character have forgotten completely about the dream.

I have started thinking that this dream world is real.

I started thinking this is who I am.

I have forgotten that I am the one actually sleeping and dreaming this dream.

Yes that was a short recap of chapter number four.

Real world is not what you think it is.

It is beyond your ken.

Means it is beyond your mind,

Beyond the intellect.

The intellect,

The mind cannot go there because the intellect,

The mind of this dream character is obviously limited.

It is limited to this dream world.

Yes so the mind and the intellect of this dream character limited to this dream world cannot go and recognize that it is nothing but the dreamers mind.

Correct?

That is why the real world is beyond your ken.

Very clear?

This is what we did in chapter four.

On the same lines we continue chapter number five.

What is born must die.

So what is born in this dream?

This dream character.

Yes but the dream character has forgotten that he is nothing but a dream body and has started taking this physical body and this subtle mind as I.

This is who I am and that I-ness has become so strong that it does not let me recognize the truth of this dream world.

It does not let me recognize that I am in a waking dream.

So this dream character is born and this dream character will die.

So what is born must die.

Questioner.

Is the witness consciousness permanent or not?

Maharaj,

It is not permanent.

The knower rises and sets with the known.

Knower is equal to witness consciousness.

Witness consciousness is equal to the knower.

They are just different words used for the same thing.

The knower rises and sets with the known.

We've already done this.

We've all started practicing this Sarga Yoga.

The knower and the known arise and set together.

Only when there is something to be known,

That time the knower is there.

What is the point of this knower to be there when there is nothing to be known?

So when there is nothing to be known,

The knower also collapses or rests or withdraws,

Whatever word you like.

So the witness and the witnessed object rise and rest together.

The knower and the known rise and fall together.

Same meaning,

Two different words.

That in which both the knower and the known arise and set is beyond time.

The words permanent or eternal do not apply.

Where do they arise and fall?

On this background.

The background of the sense of I am.

That is why when I'm awake,

I say I am awake.

When I'm dreaming,

I know I am dreaming.

When I'm in deep sleep,

At that time I don't say anything but when I wake up I say I was soundly asleep.

So I know that I,

The sense of I was common in all three.

When you go to look for the I,

There is no I really there.

There is no constant entity.

It is more like a background of no things.

It's an absolute quiet silent background.

There is no individual entity called I.

That is why Maharaj in the first chapter itself in the sense of I am said that the I am is also not continuous.

That also collapses.

Remember that?

So when that collapses there is just the background.

This is what I am.

Because there is no who here anymore.

So the right way to say it is this is what I am.

The silent quiet background.

More appropriate word to describe would be it's a presence.

It's a presence and there is nothing arising in it.

It is simply the sense of being.

In Marathi Maharaj uses the word asne,

To be.

It's just the sense of beingness or simply a presence.

When something arises,

A thought,

A feeling,

A sensation,

Something arises.

Then this background knows that the thought has arisen,

The feeling has arisen or right now there is volcano of thoughts,

Feelings,

Sensations,

Perceptions going on.

The background is there.

But that background,

Is it affected by these thoughts,

Feelings,

Sensations?

It is not affected.

Thoughts,

Feelings,

Sensations,

Perceptions arise and fall.

That is just the mind and mind labels something as time.

The distance between this thought and the next thought.

Oh that is time.

It labels the distance between perception of this event and perception of that event.

It labels as time.

So time also is nothing but an arising which arises with thoughts,

Feelings,

Sensations,

Perceptions.

The background is timeless.

It is beyond time.

So now we read that sentence again.

That in which both the knower and the known arise and set is beyond time.

The words permanent or eternal do not apply.

When do we use the word permanent?

When we want to compare it to something that is changing like thoughts,

Feelings,

Sensations,

Perceptions.

Just to convey the wisdom,

The words are used.

It is a relative word,

Permanent.

But it is actually beyond permanence.

It is all that there is.

Background is beyond the words permanent or eternal.

Understand when I use the word permanent,

I'm applying there is a possibility of it to be impermanent.

The opposite is implied.

When I say eternal,

There is an implication.

There's a possibility of it to not be eternal.

So the opposite gets implied.

That is why even on this path,

We don't call it the path of oneness.

We call it not to.

Advait.

We could have easily called it the path of oneness,

No?

But the moment you say one,

The many can come up.

There is a possibility.

There's an implied possibility of those to happen.

Very clear?

Why Advait is called Advait?

No to?

That's the correct translation.

Non-dual is just a polished way of saying no to.

Advait means no to.

So the words permanent or eternal do not apply.

In sleep,

There is neither the known nor the knower.

What keeps the body sensitive and receptive?

Why is he saying that?

Because he spoke about the witness consciousness.

He says the witness consciousness is nothing but the knower.

The knower is there when there is something to know.

Correct?

That's what he said in the first paragraph.

And this knower and the known object arise and fall on this background.

Yes?

So witness consciousness is not permanent.

It is not always there.

That is what he said in the first.

So the questioner follows up with another question.

He says,

Ah,

But in deep sleep also,

There is nothing there.

So that means the witness consciousness should not be there.

Very valid question.

We're asking then what keeps the body sensitive and receptive if the witness consciousness is not there?

Maharaj says,

Surely you cannot say the knower was absent.

Then in deep sleep he's talking about you cannot say that the knower was absent.

The experience of things and thoughts was not there.

That is all.

But the absence of experience too is an experience.

Yes?

It is like entering a dark room and saying,

I see nothing.

A man blind from birth knows not what darkness means.

Similarly,

Only the knower knows that he does not know.

Is this clear?

Even if you're saying,

Oh,

I don't see anything.

So I have the experience of not seeing anything.

So the knower has to be there to say that there is nothing.

Correct?

So in deep sleep,

The witness consciousness is there and it witnesses the absence of thoughts,

Absence of feelings,

Absence of sensations,

Absence of perceptions.

It knows that I see nothing.

Very clear?

So the knower is there.

The witness consciousness is there.

It knows that there is nothing.

Sleep is merely a lapse in memory.

Life goes on.

Questioner asks,

And what is death?

Death is the change in the living process of a particular body.

Integration ends and disintegration sets in.

This is very simple.

Nothing to explain there.

Integration ends,

Disintegration begins.

Means decay of the body begins.

But what about the knower?

With the disappearance of the body,

Does the knower disappear?

Just as the knower of the body appears at birth,

So he disappears at death.

Please highlight.

Very important.

Why is this important?

A lot of Advaitins recognize the witness consciousness and just love the knowledge that they get.

And they get lost in analyzing the mind and the arisings and the witness consciousness and they feel they have achieved it all.

This is it.

This is the end of the path.

Oh,

It is pointless.

Witness consciousness started at birth of the physical body and will die with the physical body.

What is the point?

No point.

There is still a subtle duality even at the level of the witness.

There is I,

The witness,

And the witnessed object.

So a lot of Advaitins get stuck here.

They feel,

Oh,

I know the witness consciousness and that's sufficient.

That's not sufficient.

That's why I insist you have to move from Advaita level one.

Move to two and three.

It's not sufficient.

Most of the scholars who love to speak about Advaita,

You will notice they can only speak about the witness consciousness and the arisings.

Those are the only two things.

They keep going on and on and on and on.

Still stuck at the level of the intellect.

There is a level beyond.

You have to recognize the collapse of the witness and the witnessed object.

Then you are coming to the true Advaita knowledge experientially.

So till you've not reached there,

Your journey is not complete.

You must not stop.

So this line is important for that reason.

A warning that I should not stop at just the recognition of the witness consciousness.

I have to go beyond.

Just as the knower of the body appears at birth,

So he disappears at death.

And nothing remains.

Life remains.

Consciousness needs a vehicle and an instrument for its manifestation.

When life produces another body,

Another knower comes into being.

Let's take the example of the dream.

You have gone to sleep in the night.

You've completely forgotten about your body.

You've completely forgotten about yourself.

You manifest in the form of a dream character and you witness the dream world through the eyes of this dream character.

Do you understand what is this dream character?

It is the vehicle for this dreamer to experience this dream world.

Can this dreamer experience this dream world directly?

No.

The dreamer has to take a dream body,

Become a dream character and through the eyes of the dream character,

He sees the dream world.

Through the ears of the dream character,

He hears the dream world.

Do you get it?

Through the hands of the dream character,

He can feel the dream world.

He needs a vehicle to experience the dream world.

Correct?

Every night this happens to you.

Yes?

Explore.

Explore your own dreams.

Remember whatever dream you had last night.

Take it down as a homework if you cannot remember now.

Remember whatever dream you had last night.

To experience the dream,

You had become some dream character.

And you were experiencing that dream through the body of that dream character.

Very very clear?

If you cannot remember now,

Take this down as a homework to explore.

I do manifest a dream character and through the five senses of the dream character,

I experience the dream world.

So the dream character is a vehicle for this dreamer to experience the world.

Now apply the same thing here.

Consciousness needs a vehicle to experience the world.

Got it?

So consciousness needs this physical body,

This subtle mind to actually experience its own creativity,

Its own creation,

This waking world.

Clear?

So consciousness needs a vehicle and an instrument for its manifestation.

Same thing is vehicle and instrument.

Okay?

When life produces another body,

Another knower comes into being.

So in one night when you are sleeping,

Do you have only one dream?

No,

You have so many dreams.

So in your first dream,

You were with your friends floating in space.

This was the dream character.

You took on this vehicle.

What happens after some time?

This dream ends.

This dream character must die for that.

Yes?

There is no dream.

You go into deep sleep phase.

There is absolutely nothing happening.

In fact,

You don't even know whether your body exists.

And then you are there for some time in your deep sleep.

You get your rest.

Again after some time,

Dreaming begins again.

This time it's a new dream.

It's the same person still sleeping in bed.

It's the same dreamer.

Yeah?

The same dreamer's mind.

But this time,

Another manifestation,

Another vehicle is created.

This vehicle is little different but he experiences the dream world or the pizza in this dream world through this dream character's body.

Very clear?

Yeah?

Now let's read the paragraph again.

Consciousness needs a vehicle and an instrument for its manifestation.

When life produces another body,

Another knower comes into being.

So,

Every dream has a new dream character.

That dream character has his own knower or witness consciousness.

That witness consciousness is born with the birth of the dream character and dies with the death of the dream character.

This is nothing but a dream character.

Dream character.

This is nothing but a dream character.

My ego wants to say I am real.

But somewhere deep inside,

Even I know the truth.

Do you recognize that?

Each one of you has this thing somewhere deep inside.

You know the truth.

This is not real.

So,

He's a very smart and very intelligent questioner.

Okay,

Look at his next question.

Is there a causal link between the successive body knowers or body minds?

First,

Let's understand the question.

Successive means what?

In the first dream,

This was the body mind and the knower in him or the witness consciousness in him was the body knower.

Very clear?

This is the first dream.

The second dream,

This is the new body mind and inside him is the new body knower.

So,

These are successive means one after the other.

Is there any causal link between the two?

That is the question.

Maharaj says,

Yes,

There is something that may be called the memory body or causal body.

What is it?

It is a record of all that was thought,

Wanted and done.

It is like a cloud of images held together.

I want to pause there because this paragraph is not complete.

I have the Marathi version of the book.

So,

This paragraph is not complete.

I'll just read out the last line in Marathi and explain it to you.

It is like a cloud of images held together through many different separate existences.

And these are more like Prathima.

Prathima,

A translator,

Simple layman translator would translate it as image.

But the correct word according to our scriptures is impression.

For example,

I have given this example before full day you had the thought of eating a pizza.

You had very boring vegetables in the house and you only cooked vegetables for lunch and vegetables for dinner.

Your snack was also some vegetables and you were like I want to eat something tasty and unhealthy.

I want to have a pizza.

But you did not get the opportunity to step out or even to order the pizza.

The entire day the thought,

I want pizza,

I want pizza,

I want pizza,

I want pizza.

It creates an impression in you.

You forget about it by the time it is 11,

12 in the night.

You did not get your pizza,

But you have also forgotten about it and you go to sleep very happily.

You have completely forgotten.

It is a hidden impression somewhere.

You do not know where.

It is just a hidden impression somewhere that comes up in the dream as a craving and you are having pizza in the dream.

When you actually went to bed,

You had completely forgotten about the pizza.

You did not manufacture the dream.

You did not say today I am going to dream about pizza.

You did not have a plan.

You did not have a strategy.

So really you do not know which impression is formed when.

These impressions just get saved somewhere and that is called a memory body.

But now please do not imagine memory body.

I will read out the word from the text for you.

It is either called a Smriti Deha or Karan Deha.

That has been translated as the memory body or causal body.

But really there is no real body,

Not real physical body.

In fact,

We have seen there is no mind also.

There is no subtle body.

These are just words meant to convey something that somewhere in the consciousness an impression gets deposited and that deposited impression leads to the next dream.

That is how you have several dreams in the night.

Where did the dreams come from?

You did not have an Excel sheet with a plan before going to sleep.

This is going to be dream one,

Dream two,

Dream three,

Dream four.

No.

The dreamer has no clue about the impressions.

They get deposited somewhere and they sprout automatically.

If this is very clear about a dream world,

A waking world is also similar.

There is only one link between the successive body doors with this consciousness.

And what is that?

Just these deposited impressions.

Again,

Beyond a point,

This cannot be known.

In direct experience,

I only know,

Yes,

I had some craving of pizza all day and in the night I dreamt pizza.

In the path of direct experience,

We do not go on to hypothesis and analysis of something where we have no proof.

The only proof I have is,

Yes,

There was a craving in the day,

Yes,

There was a dream of that thing in the night.

Somewhere there was some memory,

Some impression hidden.

I don't know where,

I don't know what.

It's just a smriti deha,

Way of saying,

It's an impression left somewhere which came up as a dream.

That is the only link between different bodies or different body doors.

So,

Because in the Marathi text there was that additional line about separate existences,

That's where the next question comes up.

The translator did not really link the previous paragraph with the next question.

So,

I'll add one line there.

Please write it down.

It is like a cloud of images held together through separate existences.

It is a cloud of images held together through separate existences.

In Marathi,

That is why the next question is,

What is the sense of a separate existence?

But the question is not correctly translated.

It should be,

What is the cause of separate existence?

Why are there separate existences?

It is a reflection in a separate body of the one reality.

Sentence by sentence.

Which is the one reality in this dream and dream world?

Which is the one reality?

You are the only reality lying in bed.

This is not real what you're dreaming.

Neither is the dream character real,

Nor is the dream world real.

What is the one reality?

You.

The consciousness is the one reality.

Neither is the waking dream real,

Nor is this waking dream character real.

The consciousness is the one reality.

This consciousness had an impression because of which this dream manifested.

The same consciousness has an impression because of which this dream manifested.

The consciousness is one.

It is one reality.

So,

Now we'll read that sentence again.

It is a reflection in a separate body of the one reality.

Which is a separate body?

The separate dream character's body.

Similarly,

Now apply to this waking world and this physical body.

There are successive lifetimes and these successive lifetimes,

This physical body keeps changing.

The mind is also different.

There is absolutely no connection.

The only connection is that impression,

That pratima,

The impression.

That impression leads to this particular physical body.

This is nothing but a waking dream character.

In the next lifetime,

There will be another physical body,

Another mental makeup of that physical body.

That has again been born from an impression,

A pratima.

We only know,

Yes,

There was an impression created.

I don't know where it is.

I have no idea of this body.

So,

Beyond that,

We don't start visualizing or we don't start assuming the existence of some different causal bodies or memory bodies.

That's where the paths become very confusing.

Stay with the very simple understanding.

Yes,

An impression was created during the day because of this craving or aversion manifested in my dream.

Very clearly,

My direct experience.

It's got nothing to do with hypothesis and assumptions from outside.

That is truly my experience.

I know it from my direct experience.

Exactly the same thing applies to the waking life,

The waking dream.

In this reflection,

The unlimited and the limited are confused and taken to be the same.

To undo this confusion is the purpose of yoga.

Which is the unlimited and which is the limited?

Which is the unlimited and which is the limited?

The unlimited is the consciousness.

The limited is this dream character.

It's only going to last for that little while till the dream lasts.

The moment the dream is over,

The dream character is gone.

The dream world is destroyed.

So,

The dream character is limited.

The dreamer which is the consciousness is unlimited.

But there is major confusion.

I have forgotten that I am consciousness and I feel,

No,

I am this physical body and this mind.

This is called ekta.

This is who I am and this is mine.

That is mine.

Me and mine becomes my reality.

So,

I have got confused.

Yes,

I have started taking the dream world to be my reality.

So,

There is confusion.

I no more recognize this is who I am.

To resolve this confusion,

What is required?

This is not your Patanjali's yoga.

This is Nisargayoga.

That is why we did the Nisargayoga chapter before we came here.

So,

Nisargayoga is required for that.

What is Nisargayoga?

There is the sense of I am which is there continuously throughout my childhood,

Throughout my teenage,

My adulthood,

My old age.

It is continuous.

That is something that will give me a clue of my reality.

So,

Let me look for that sense of I am.

I go looking for the I there and I recognize even that sense of I am is not continuous.

The I drops and there is this absolute silent knowingness.

No thingness.

It's just a presence.

This is my reality.

I can only sense it.

I cannot see it.

I cannot turn back and look at it.

I cannot know it because then it becomes the known and I become the knower.

So,

There is no knowing.

There is no seeing because there is no duality here.

I am that.

This is my truth.

That is Nisargayoga.

Clear?

It has got nothing to do with your zillion physical body postures or yoga asanas.

It has become 100% clear about this.

So,

To undo this confusion is the purpose of Nisargayoga.

You can add the word there.

Does not death undo this confusion?

In death,

Only the body dies.

Life does not.

Consciousness does not.

Reality does not.

And the life is never so alive as after death.

This dream character is born in the dream and this dream character dies.

After the dream character dies,

You are actually awake and alive like you weren't before.

Correct?

Yes.

So,

Now we read that again.

In death,

Only the body dies.

Only this dream character will die.

Life does not.

Consciousness does not.

Reality does not.

Consciousness does not.

And the life is never so alive.

Once you're awake,

You're more alive than when you were in the deep sleep or dreaming state.

But does one get reborn?

This questioner is still stuck with the dream character.

Again and again,

Nisargadatta Maharaj is making an attempt to take him to the consciousness,

To recognize this is who I am.

But he is more interested in the dream character and his death and his life.

And now his rebirth also.

He doesn't stop at this life.

But Maharaj is not going to talk about nonsense.

This would be nonsense.

End of this dream.

What happens to this character after this dream ends?

Is it something sensible to discuss?

Does it even make sense?

No,

I don't know what happens to this dream character.

I don't know what happened to the tiger in my dream.

I have no idea.

You get it?

So,

He asked the question,

But does one get reborn?

What was born must die.

Only the unborn is deathless.

Find what is it that never sleeps and never wakes and whose pale reflection is our sense of I.

See that?

He dodges the question because it's pointless to discuss what happens to this dream character who dies.

Nothing happens.

He's dead.

The dream is over.

He says,

Instead,

You look at this unborn.

That which was not born,

At which never ever entered the dream world.

The consciousness never enters your waking dream.

It never gets lost in the trials and tribulations of this dream.

Focus on the unborn.

And how do you focus there?

He says it is the sense of I.

That sense of I is continuous throughout.

Focus there.

This dream character also has the sense of I.

Yes?

So,

He's talking to this dream character.

You forget about the body.

You focus on that sense of I and that will take you from here to here.

That is the journey from that which is born and dies to the unborn.

What is the link?

That sense of I.

The sense of I am.

What was born must die.

Only the unborn is deadless.

Find what is it that never sleeps and never wakes and whose pale reflection is our sense of I.

So,

The questioner asks,

How am I to go about finding this out?

How do you go about finding anything?

By keeping your mind and heart on it.

Interest there must be and a steady remembrance.

I prefer the Marathi words.

He says od.

Od means a pull.

There has to be that pull,

That constant tugging pull.

Whatever you're doing in the world,

You're taking care of your family,

Your work,

Your money,

Whatever you're doing,

Whatever you're doing in the world,

You're taking care of your family,

Your work,

Your money,

But there's this constant od.

No,

I really want to sit and explore.

I really want to listen to this advaita talk and actually recognize this experientially.

That od has to be there.

The pull.

That has been translated as interest and a steady remembrance.

A constant smriti is the word used there.

Constant remembrance of going to the sense of I am.

Then only you can really do it.

To remember what needs to be remembered is the secret of success.

Success where?

In this world?

No,

No.

Success in finding who am I.

That is the success he's talking about.

To remember what needs to be remembered means the sense of I am.

You come to it through earnestness.

One more question for you.

Are you honest?

What is the meaning of earnestness?

I like the Marathi word.

I need it.

I want it.

Come what may,

I have to do this.

That earnestness.

Yes,

And then being very sincere in your self-exploration.

Being very sincere in really finding it.

Not lukewarm interest.

Once on Sunday I'll listen to the talk and I will get it.

This rest of the time I'm going to be lost in my dream world.

No,

No.

You can't keep your one foot in this dream world and then one foot you want to go to the consciousness.

It's not going to happen.

If you say,

Oh,

I want to just do it,

You know,

When it comes it'll come to me.

Right now I just want to be lost here.

No,

Then you better be lost in your dream.

Ramakrishna Paramhansa said this.

Do not even venture out onto the spiritual path unless you want it like somebody who is on fire and is looking for water.

Do you have that kind of earnestness?

Yes,

That Tadmuri.

This is it.

This is my number one priority.

Next question.

Do you mean to say that mere wanting to find out is enough?

Wanting to find out is enough.

Surely both qualifications and opportunities are needed.

Those who know Marathi and Hindi here,

Qualifications is Patrata and opportunities is Sandhi.

So don't I need the Patrata?

Patrata means ability to hold the wisdom.

The English translation really doesn't do justice.

Don't I need the ability to hold this awesome wisdom?

Will it come to me just like that?

I need the ability to actually absorb this wisdom and hold it.

Patrata that is translated as qualifications.

And Sandhi is opportunity,

The right kind of opportunity,

The Sangha,

The right kind of knowledge,

The right kind of teacher.

Don't I need all this?

That's the question.

Maharaj says these will come with earnestness.

If you have the Tadmuri,

I am on fire and I need water,

That kind of Tadmuri,

Earnestness.

If you have that earnestness,

Everything will come.

Patrata has come and everything else will fall into place.

What is supremely important is to be free from contradictions.

The goal and the way must not be on different levels.

I'll pause there.

This is very,

Very important.

A lot of you have a lot of contradictions in your mind.

And because of the contradictions,

You take two steps forward and then you take two steps backward.

You are at the same place.

Lots of contradictions in your mind.

What is the meaning of contradictions?

You start saying,

Okay,

I want to attain the consciousness.

I want to attain the highest truth.

Stay there.

Find out I am nothingness in my own self-recognition and stay there.

Yes,

That is my goal.

He's saying goal and way.

Yeah,

He's saying goal and way.

There should not be a contradiction.

So,

My goal is to get to that background of nothingness and stay there.

But I want to be absorbed in Netflix five days a week.

I want to be lost on Facebook two hours per day and I want to be lost with my child.

Oh,

I have to give family also time.

No,

I have to do this also and I have to do that and I have to do that and blah blah blah blah.

Goal and way.

Contradictory.

Here you are saying,

I want to be lost in the dream and here you're saying,

I want to get out of the dream.

I want to wake up.

Are you seeing this contradiction?

Very very clear.

Yes,

Now you start recognizing.

Biggest homework from this chapter.

What are the contradictions in your own mind?

The goal and way are the opposite in your own journey.

That is the reason you are not progressing.

Do you get it?

I give you one example of contradictions.

Another example,

Spiritual contradictions.

What does yoga and pranayam keep you limited to?

At what level?

Body.

Yoga asanas are body level.

Pranayam is breath.

Breath is also body level.

Any breathing technique is what level?

Body level.

Any japa that you do on the spiritual path,

What level is it?

Who's doing japa?

This body-mind complex.

Japa is sound.

Sound is of body level again.

So are you seeing this?

I will do all japa,

Yoga,

Pranayam.

So I am sticking to the dream character level but I want to attain what?

That I am not the dream character.

Contradiction,

Dvaitam and advaitam contradiction.

Are you seeing this?

This is the biggest contradiction on the spiritual path.

Just one focus.

Have one focus.

If your focus is dvaitam,

Then make that only the goal and make that the way.

If your focus is advaitam,

Then make only that the goal and make that the way.

You cannot keep your feet in two different boots.

Understand?

Yoga,

Pranayam,

Breathing technique,

Japa,

All this is for this dream character to calm down because he's all agitated in this dream world.

Okay,

Calm down,

Calm down.

You're all agitated.

You have all volcanic emotions and turbulences going on.

You just want to deal with that.

Calm down,

Calm down.

It's a temporary calm down.

You will never find out who you truly are.

You will never know that you are this consciousness but at least you will just calm down.

Yeah,

So that was the purpose.

It's not a wrong purpose.

It is a great beginner's step.

Yeah,

School level.

But finally,

You must go to university,

Right?

You cannot say,

No,

I'll keep one foot in school and I will enter the university gate.

Not possible.

It's not happening.

That is what I mean by you take two steps forward,

You take two steps backwards.

You're at the same place.

Very clear?

So,

Contradictions in the mind must get resolved.

There should not be a conflict between the goal and the way.

Super clear?

Yeah,

Now we'll see what Maharaj says.

What is supremely important is to be free from contradictions.

The goal and the way must not be on different levels.

Life and light must not quarrel.

Again,

It's just poetry,

Okay?

Life and light must not quarrel.

Just poetry.

Behavior must not betray belief.

This is very important.

Your strong conviction is,

I am the consciousness.

I really want to attain this truth.

I want to recognize it and rest in that.

I want to experience the supreme peace and rest as the supreme peace.

This is my belief.

A better translation of the word would be conviction.

The Marathi word is vishwas,

But it's a loose translation.

Calling vishwas as belief is a loose translation.

The correct translation is a conviction.

Somewhere else the same author has translated it as conviction.

So,

My conviction is very clear.

I want to attain the highest understanding of I am the consciousness.

But what is my behavior?

My behavior is completely,

Again and again,

I'm taking the stand as this body.

I am this dream character.

Again and again,

I'm taking the stand as I am the mind.

I want to recognize that I am awareness,

But I am still holding on to the stand as the body and mind.

Contradiction.

Conflict.

Marathi word for conflict is virodh.

There is virodh in your behavior and belief.

So,

You have to recognize this virodh.

You have to recognize this conflict.

Again and again,

I become this body-mind complex when I'm interacting with the family member,

When I'm doing my work,

When I'm looking at my money.

I get so consumed,

I become this body-mind.

I'm just not willing to take that step back and be the witness,

Which is just a middle step.

And then observe the witness collapse and recognize the knowingness.

That is just my belief or my conviction.

My behavior is again and again of body and mind.

Is this becoming very clear?

So,

Behavior and belief must not conflict.

Otherwise,

You'll take two steps forward,

You'll take two steps back,

You'll be stuck at the same place.

Call it honesty,

Integrity,

Wholeness.

You must not go back,

Undo,

Uproot,

Abandon the conquered ground.

He calls this honesty.

When there is no more conflict in my belief and behavior,

When there is no more conflict in my goal and in my way,

When I resolve these conflicts and I become one-pointed,

I become very earnest,

That is called honesty,

That is called integrity,

That is called wholeness.

Very clear what he's calling honesty,

Integrity,

Wholeness.

He says you must not go back.

This is very important.

Some people get that glimpse of the witness consciousness and they recognize the truth.

Now,

They don't hold on to that fix,

That new understanding.

They still go back to I am the body,

I am the mind.

Why did she do this to me?

Why did he say this to me?

Why did this happen?

Oh,

My life is only bad.

Again,

You're lost as the dream character in this dream world.

So,

You have gone back.

He's telling you,

You must not go back.

Once you have recognized,

I am the witness.

It's the middle step to reaching the pure consciousness,

But at least you've taken one step ahead.

Don't go back.

Very clear?

You must not go back.

You must not undo.

If you're going back,

You're undoing what you have done.

If you're going back,

You are uprooting what you have already planted,

The first sprout in the ground you're uprooting.

And do not abandon the conquered ground.

You've reached the state of I am the witness.

Again,

If you become the body-mind and get lost as the character in the world,

You're abandoning this conquered ground.

So,

Be very firm.

Now,

Come what may,

I'm not going to abandon the conquered ground.

I'm not going to undo.

I'm not going to uproot this understanding of mine.

Do not abandon conquered ground.

Otherwise,

After this,

Every chapter will just be like theory for you.

Be very strict with yourself now.

Come what may,

I'm going to keep practicing.

That is what he calls honesty,

Integrity,

Wholeness,

Not going back,

Not undoing,

Not uprooting,

And not abandoning the conquered ground.

Stay there.

Steady.

Tenacity of purpose and honesty in pursuit will bring you to your goal.

So,

Till today,

If it has not happened,

It is because you lacked one of these two qualities.

Number one,

You lacked tenacity of purpose.

What is tenacity of purpose?

No,

I got to do this.

Come what may,

This is number one priority.

I got to do this.

This is tenacity of purpose.

Everything else is second in life.

This is number one.

I'm not going to let this go.

That is tenacity of purpose.

Number two,

Honesty.

Some of you say,

Yes,

I have been very tenacious.

I have never even like budged my eye from the purpose,

From my goal.

I've still not got there.

Why?

Number two flaw.

Honesty is not there.

You've not been honest in your pursuit.

It's not about being honest with others.

It's about being honest with yourself.

There is some dishonesty somewhere,

Some disintegrating somewhere.

You have not been integral with yourself.

You give more importance to this dream world.

You give more importance to the body and mind of the dream character over recognizing the truth of who or what I am.

And that's where you became dishonest in your pursuit.

Pursuit means my search for the truth.

I was not honest in my search.

No problem.

That is what I did in the past.

It's okay.

Now,

I'm going to be very strong,

Tenacious,

Completely tenacious in my purpose and very honest.

You can't say,

No,

I want to enjoy this dream world also and I want to wake up from the dream also.

Contradictions,

Contradictions,

Red alert.

It's not possible.

It's either or.

Either you stay lost in this dream or you have that tenacious purpose,

No,

I want to wake up.

Very clear?

Always remember Ramakrishna Paramhansa says,

Don't even start,

Don't even bother to start your spiritual path unless you really have that thing,

I am on fire and I really need water now.

Don't start the path until then.

You're wasting your time.

Tenacity and honesty are endowments.

Endowments means blessing.

It's a blessing.

Surely,

Not a trace of them have I.

Maharaj says,

All will come as you go on.

Take the first step first.

All blessings come from within.

All endowments come from within.

They will not come from outside.

Forget about it.

Why?

Because outside you is this dream world.

Even if you have a teacher,

A guru,

They belong to this dream world.

They belong to this dream world.

A dream world character giving you a blessing is going to wake you up from that dream.

You're dreaming.

It's not possible.

So wake up.

This is another contradiction in many people's minds that an external guru is going to endow me with this blessing or this grace.

An external teacher is going to endow me with this blessing.

Not happening.

It's a contradiction.

You will not get it.

So wake up.

Recognize that guru,

That teacher also belongs to this dream world.

I am also a dream character in this dream world.

If I have to wake up,

I have to look within myself.

It is not outside because outside everything is a dream world including ekta.

Yes.

Ekta is your only dream.

You have manufactured ekta.

You have manufactured your spiritual teacher to help you look within.

Ramana Maharshi explains this very beautifully in the chapter on the guru that your external teacher is your projection.

You have manifested that teacher so that that teacher helps you turn inwards.

Then you turn inwards and you look inside and that's where you find the true guru.

That's all.

The role of that external teacher is done the moment you find the internal guru.

Yes.

So all blessings come from within.

Turn within.

I am you know.

Means he's saying you already know the sense of I am.

I am you know.

Be with it all the time you can spare until you revert to it spontaneously.

There is no simpler and easier way.

Nothing else can do it.

Nothing else.

Turn in again and again to the sense of I am.

The moment I recognize the sense of I am,

I recognize oh everything is this awareness.

In fact,

This so-called dream world when I go touch,

When I go taste,

When I go smell,

I hear,

I see this dream world.

I see nothing but awareness.

I see nothing but awareness.

I experience nothing but awareness.

What is this awareness?

You look within.

Explore it.

Stay there.

Stay there.

Then the witness collapses.

The knower collapses.

You recognize the I is not continuous and then you come to the background of nothingness.

That's when you wake up from your dream.

When you wake up from your dream,

It is called Jeevan Mukti.

Why is it called Jeevan Mukti?

Which means I am still in the dream.

The dream world is going on around me but I'm awake.

I know it is a dream.

I am no more consumed by the dream.

I no more am miserable.

I'm not craving anymore.

I'm not hating anymore.

I'm not angry anymore because now I know it's a dream.

It's stupid to be angry.

It's stupid to be hating.

Now I am at peace.

That is the meaning of waking up from the dream.

So instead of bothering about what happens at death,

What happens after death,

Look towards this unborn.

Clear?

Very interesting chapter,

No?