How To Be A Soulmate To Have A Soulmate - Weekly Energy Boost

Good morning,

Everyone.

Good evening,

Good afternoon,

Wherever you are,

And welcome to this week's Weekly Energy Boost.

David is such a big fan.

He watches the show while we're doing it live.

That's dedication.

This week on the Weekly Energy Boost,

David and I are talking about the number one most demanded and requested topic we have here at Weekly Energy Boost,

Which is soulmates.

We're talking about how to be a soulmate,

To have a soulmate.

And I think people,

I'm going to say it out the gate,

People struggle with the concept of soulmates because they either think it's too spiritual and therefore it's too far a reach or it's something so esoteric and so woo-woo that they're just really trying to find somebody who's tolerable to live with and has the same,

Maybe the same values and at least enough of the same values to build a life together.

And so I think out the gate,

We should say that being a soulmate,

We can talk about where the term comes from and the origins of the concept.

But in 2022,

To me,

Being a soulmate means being a teammate.

We talked a little bit about this on the way here,

But it really,

I think if you look at all of the issues that come up in relationships,

And we'll talk about why this is the week to strengthen that awareness and why it's an opportunity this week over other weeks in the year to work on this.

But really the diagnosis I would give most relationships that are in murky waters is that they forgot that they're on the same team.

They play opposite sides.

One is on offense and one is on defense at any given moment.

And the healing really begins when they start to play like they're on the same team.

They start to feel like they're on the same team.

And I would love to unpack that at some point.

I do want to say also that the weekly energy boost is a seven day spiritual weather forecast.

Where every week we aim to provide our listeners with the most powerful and practical tools to navigate the coming seven days.

According to Kabbalah,

Every week has a unique and specific energy.

And through learning about that and understanding the tools that we have to take advantage of that opportunity,

We end up offering lessons that are applicable and wisdom that's applicable any day of the year.

So again,

This is either people are have something in their throat trying to get attention.

Can you hear that?

I mean,

I do you want to talk first?

Is that what this is about?

You can open the show if you'd like.

I went to the side to be respectful.

It's right.

It's this is too funny.

It's too perfect.

So David,

I already gave my little if I had to say it in 30 seconds,

What would I say it is?

Are we talking today about the the the attraction of a partner?

Are we talking about what do you want to focus on?

We're talking about attraction.

What's the difference between having a soulmate and having a partner?

Okay.

So I think one of the first things that we should talk about is where Kabbalah differs from what you might hear everywhere else about relationships,

Which is you're not going to figure this out on your own.

And the first thing that we all need to think about is this idea that you have to have certainty that the light of the Creator wants it to work for you.

The light of the Creator,

The way in the way this universe is designed is that you're destined to have a fulfilling relationship.

It's your destiny,

Whether you think you can have it,

Whether you want to have it,

Whether the situation you're in right now is very challenging,

Whether you can't find a partner and you're having a hard time,

Whether you're in a relationship or you're married and I don't know,

Maybe you're in the beginning of it somewhere that seven year mark,

15,

20 years.

And there are problems and challenges that come up.

I think the baseline consciousness needs to be that the Creator wants me to be happy and there is a path towards happiness and true fulfillment,

Being with another person.

And even if you don't know what.

.

.

That was you.

I'm your biggest fan.

That was me.

That was you this time.

That was me watching you on my phone.

It's so good.

I want to hear it in the stereo.

Because there's a slight delay,

Like five seconds if you want to catch it.

I wanted to catch what you just said one time.

That's right.

What did he say?

So I just want to make sure our audience is on the same page here because we can talk about concepts all the time.

Spiritual concepts,

What to do,

What not to do.

You got to think this and here's some practical stuff and know you have some stats.

But the umbrella consciousness needs to be.

I have certainty that the Creator wants me to be happy and wants to fulfill my vessel,

The vessel called love,

The vessel called soulmate,

The vessel called companionship.

If you don't have certainty about it,

You could be doing all the right things,

But you're still slowing down the process and you're not going to experience it because certainty is the vessel.

Certainty about your love life is the vessel that holds love.

Certainty is what attracts the right thoughts,

The right ideas,

The right classes,

The right wisdom,

The right teachers,

The right mentors,

The right friends that will tell you what to do and how to think and how to feel and all that.

It's all about certainty.

That's your protection shield.

That's your aura.

That is the vessel that holds love.

So that's where Kabbalah starts.

How is it possible that people who don't know that find love then?

I think that's a good question.

And I think that what we're learning here is that there are people do,

Whether you study Kabbalah or not,

People do have certainty.

Think about a narcissist or some kind of a serial negative person.

You know how much certainty a narcissist,

People with huge egos who are very negative,

But they have a lot of certainty.

Certainty does attract blessings.

The problem is when the certainty is combined with,

It's all about me,

The all about me puts cracks into the vessel called certainty.

So they cancel each other.

And eventually someone who has a lot of certainty,

But also has a lot of negativity,

A lot of reactivity,

Negative intentions is doing whatever they're doing for themselves ultimately to fulfill their own lack.

So they fall.

And I think that the pleasure and joy we have in relationships is always equal to the level of certainty we have.

And yes,

Some people are born naturally with certainty.

Some people naturally have uncertainty and self-confidence are kind of in the same category.

If you have self-confidence about yourself,

You're probably going to be attracting good people into your life and some level of stable relationships.

Where Kabbalah comes in is it tells you the system of how to live your life so that you always experience that joy.

Because just because you have certainty and self-confidence now,

It doesn't mean that in a couple months when you go through a tough time,

You still have it.

You'll lose it and then you'll lose that energy.

You'll lose that aura.

You'll lose that protection.

And then it all goes crashing.

But with Kabbalah,

You have it when times are good and then that superpower that you've had your whole life and then all of a sudden times go tough and then you wait.

You remember the rules of the universe.

Certainty I'm going to have certainty even though I don't feel like it.

So you maintain that protection.

You maintain that vessel.

So in relationships,

Let's go back to a great concept,

That great concept you brought up,

Which is teamwork.

And I love when you said it in the car,

Even though it looked like I wasn't paying attention,

It was.

I had my eyes on the road.

I wasn't looking either.

Elisha was sometimes talking,

I'm doing nine other things at once,

But I'm listening.

I'm always listening to Elisha.

I think that what you view the purpose of the relationship will also determine how you feel about it.

And what I've learned is everybody has a different viewpoint about relationships.

Everybody has a different viewpoint about relationships.

Like what's the point of it?

And if I had to look at my relationship as,

Okay,

We're a team and we're going to support each other,

That's the goal.

That's a whole different mindset of maybe the point of this relationship is for you to make me happy and for me to make you happy.

That's a different concept because what happens is,

Oh,

When you're not making me happy,

I'm going to digress and not make you as happy.

And that's a vicious cycle.

It's like keeping score.

You know,

You didn't make me happy yesterday or you made me miserable yesterday,

So now it's my turn to make you miserable.

That's right.

And in the beginning,

We're all dog piling,

Adding value to each other in the dating process.

And that's why it works.

It's kind of like an economy that's hot and the stock market just keeps going up because everybody keeps putting money into it and thinks,

Until one person decides I'm going to stop putting money into it and the other is like,

Well,

I'm not going to put money and then everyone starts pulling out.

And that's what makes the market tank.

So relationships are the same way.

In the beginning,

We all add,

We add our energy,

Which is our dollars into the pot.

I'm there for you.

And I'm going to do this for you.

And I'm going to do this for you.

And it's like trying to one up each other in adding value.

It's a very beautiful thing.

And eventually one person pulls out and then the other person pulls out and then you're left feeling somewhat empty.

I'm thinking about all the people listening.

And I know it happens also when one individual in a relationship begins a spiritual journey.

Sometimes they look at the person that they're spending their life with and they're like,

Well,

Wait a second.

This is not a soulmate relationship or what David just said about having the,

What's the goal of the relationship.

Not only do some time,

The example that David gave that my,

The goal of the relationship is I'll make you happy and you'll make me happy.

Sometimes each person in the relationship has a different goal.

You'll,

My parents will be happy that I picked the right person and you will have a financial cushion at the end of your days kind of thing.

Like there,

The conflicting desires,

The conflicting goals are also a source of trouble and pain.

So the goals are often shifting every seven years,

Which makes it difficult,

Right?

So if you can,

If you can pass that first seven year mark,

It's a good sign.

I mean,

Pass it and still be happy.

Succeed it.

Crush it.

What about those people who learn about this,

Whether through listening today or any other spiritual wisdom,

And they say,

Well,

Wait a second,

I'm not with my soul.

According to that,

I'm not with my soulmate.

Now what?

Those kinds of thoughts.

Am I with,

Am I not with?

It's really from the point of view of I'm trying to be a taker here and I'm not being satisfied and my taking is not being satisfied.

And I think we're always trying to add some value on these podcasts that are different than the amount of content you're getting thrown in your face on social media and every other way.

So I'm very sensitive.

I know you are too.

We're very sensitive to the fact that we want to bring you something that you're probably not going to hear anywhere else.

And so when it comes to these relationships,

Go back to the seed level of kind of like why you're in it and what you're doing on a daily basis.

I would say that those people who view their relationship as something that I,

It is my goal to make it successful.

Like I'm going to bring a good name to the institute called a couple.

I'm going to bring a good name,

Bring a good reputation to it.

It's like when you take over as a president of a company and maybe this company has been failing and the board relies on you to turn this around.

Your job is to give it a good name,

Bring the brand name back.

What do you do?

Do you say,

Oh,

Well,

This is a crappy company and all this is crappy and that's crappy and the product's not so good.

You inspire.

You say,

Okay,

Even though the product's not so good,

We're going to make it good.

And even though the trajectory is not looking too good,

We're going to make that good because your mindset is I'm going to make this successful even though when I'm being given is I'm being dealt a poor hand.

So when you think you've been dealt a poor hand in your relationship,

Switch your mindset and say no.

As easy as it is to escape and as easy it is to blame,

I'm going to be the president or the CEO that is being placed into the situation to turn this around.

It's my responsibility.

I think that's one way of looking at it.

It's your responsibility.

It's maybe not your fault.

You're not to blame,

But you're responsible.

That's the newly appointed CEO.

He's not to blame for what happened,

But he's responsible.

So I don't want to put you on the spot or anything,

But we also talk in Kabbalah about not only soulmates in romantic relationships,

But soulmates,

You know,

You can have a soulmate in your family,

A friend of yours can be a soulmate,

I think,

But most importantly are the soulmates that we have professionally because that's a kind of marriage as well.

When you have a partnership with somebody who you're trying to create lasting impact,

Adding value,

It's really like creating another family in a way.

So what can you offer our listeners to help them connect with the right,

If you want to call it soulmate,

Almost like tribe of people to work with.

It's not really that different than finding the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with.

You're talking now about your career.

Now you're the CEO of that company.

How do you attract the soulmate team to work with to take the company to.

.

.

You're actually talking about a business now.

Yeah.

And that's interesting too because what we've noticed is that leadership tends to attract employees that are similar in the mindset of the leader.

And I think what's important is to be very conscious of what kind of a person you are with your strengths and weaknesses and you'll start to see that you surround yourself with people who have similar strengths and weaknesses.

Some of the founders that I tend to admire,

These aren't people that you know,

These are people just kind of I've met who have created things of value.

I think there's one I'm thinking of specifically and he's created a couple of businesses that he sold.

And what I think he does very well is he knows exactly when to get out of the way and put a pro in position to grow that company.

So what he recognizes immediately is,

Okay,

I'm very weak in this.

Maybe I'm a weak negotiator,

Maybe I'm a weak finance,

I'm weak in production,

Or I'm weak in sales,

Whatever it is.

Maybe he thinks he's actually weak in all of them.

He might even tell you he's weak in all of them.

So immediately he finds he has no negative beliefs about hiring someone,

Even if that person costs a lot,

To be a professional in that position that he needs.

And I think that's powerful because his self-awareness has allowed him not to limit the company.

Like being willing to hire someone better than you.

Yeah,

Would you hire you?

Would you date you?

I gave a class once to all women,

Wasn't too long ago,

And one girl was complaining about,

Well,

She was complaining,

But she was kind of upset about what's not attracting the person into her life.

And when you really flip it and ask yourself,

Well,

If I'm a guy on the outside looking at you,

Why do I want to be with you?

Would you date you?

Would you date you?

That's the most powerful question for this episode is,

Would you date you?

People are so not self-aware,

Ourselves included.

We don't realize that people don't want to date us because maybe we have a sadness that we exude half the day and who wants to be with someone who's sad.

Or maybe we don't take care of ourselves in the way that the person that we expect to be with wants someone to take care of themselves.

There's a lot of,

I talk to a lot of people and oftentimes they'll look at somebody,

I'll say,

Well,

What do you think of that person?

You guys have a good,

You guys can have a good chemistry.

And they'll just look at them from across the room and say,

No,

I don't think so.

I'm like,

Well,

You haven't even talked to that person yet.

But that person's like,

No,

Not my,

Not my,

Not my this,

Not my that.

And what are they doing?

Like in five seconds,

They're analyzing this person's energy,

The way their faces,

Their body language,

Their mannerisms,

Just whatever energy is coming from them.

And then I meet other people,

Guy or girl,

Could be in a room and almost everybody asks me about them.

Oh,

Is that person single?

Oh,

Is that person single?

And it doesn't mean that they're good looking.

And sometimes it's not a necessary,

Very strikingly good looking person.

Is that person single?

I'm like,

Well,

What is it about them that making everybody ask about that?

So there's something that's happening.

There's an energy,

The signage,

The signage is a powerful one.

And people are looking at the sign and they're saying,

I want to know more about that.

Just to be clear.

It's like a thumb stopper on social media.

But you're not simply talking about how you look because it's emotional.

It's intellectual.

There's many components to what you broadcast when you walk into a room.

That's true.

And not to be superficial,

But even the Zohar talks about person who's born beautiful is the beauty is a quality of the light of the Creator.

So for whatever they have that gift.

So if your person's attractive,

Automatically,

Even before they even open their mouth,

There's an energy that people are drawn to.

This is why in our society,

Sex sells because sex or that whole energy,

Sexual energy is of the light of the Creator at face value.

It's already going to catch your attention.

But to go deeper.

And that's why we need to take care of ourselves.

I'm thinking about someone that we know that couldn't be sweeter,

Couldn't be kinder,

Couldn't be more delightful to talk to,

But doesn't physically take real good care of themselves.

And that's one of the things that unfortunately they end up leading with because it's just not there.

Agreed.

We got to start with low hanging fruit.

And I don't want to offend anybody.

But people often come to me and ask for like,

Hey,

Is there some kind of a blessing or something I can do or prayer I can do to find my soulmate?

I said,

Well,

The first thing you could do is fix your teeth.

I said,

I said,

Let's start there.

Let's start there.

Your teeth.

You haven't you haven't fixed you haven't like,

Why is that OK?

Right.

Oh,

I didn't realize that.

OK,

I'll do that right away.

And then things change and they have more self-confidence and they realize the reason they haven't taken care of themselves is because of a T-quin issue.

So even though sometimes I give like physical advice,

Which seems kind of,

Oh,

Why are you superficial?

It's not superficial.

That's that the the lack of attention to your physical is coming from something very spiritual that's not being dealt with.

And for me,

That is low hanging fruit.

Right.

At least deal with those things that you've been avoiding for whatever reason.

And that will unlock more things.

And I'm not saying that just by you fixing your teeth,

You're going to find your soulmate.

But it's one.

It's a symptom.

It's one joystick that I like the move.

And then there's other joysticks.

But I like to throw the kitchen sink at it.

Someone's like,

I know,

Find my soulmate.

I'm like,

Well,

Look,

In three months,

Let's throw the kitchen sink at this.

And I'm going to make a list of all the physical things you should do.

And I'm going to make a list of like there was like one person that just by just by exercising all of a sudden they attracted more people.

Now it sounds like a superficial thing,

But you're not saying losing weight.

I didn't.

I didn't even lose weight.

I just said,

Move your body,

Get blood flow,

Get a glow,

Get a physical glow,

Because people who exercise have a glow.

And when you walk into the room after having,

I don't know,

Done whatever you love to do to break a sweat,

People feel something from you.

And there's an energy there.

It's because even the Zohar says,

When you sweat,

You break klipot,

You break the shells of negativity.

So sweat is actually breaking shells of negativity.

So yes,

A person should sweat.

And that's why we admire people who exercise versus the opposite,

The couch situation.

So these are all secrets of finding soulmate.

But sometimes I think people come to the show and they want to hear something practical.

Like for sure,

Get your teeth fixed right away.

Right away.

David is so subtle.

Don't you love that about him?

What,

You're going to go home and you realize,

It pissed me off that he said that,

But I should probably go get my tooth fixed.

But I think if I could give a overarching title to what David is talking about,

It's that you really do not once,

Not only in the week where the universe is broadcasting,

Blasting us with this energy of soulmates,

What does this week have for us about soulmates?

It's actually what David just said in not so many words.

It's that if you want to find your soulmate,

If you want to connect with your soulmate,

If you want to take your relationship,

That's okay.

And bring it to a soulmate level,

You have to get out of yourself.

You have to pop your head out of your bubble,

Your ecosystem,

And take a look from another angle so that if it is something physical that needs to be changed,

Okay,

There's something you can do,

But the reason you haven't done it yet is because of something non-physical.

Or if maybe it's,

Like David said,

One other example he used was that you spend part of your day pretty sad,

Pretty focused on what's not rather than what is.

How can you be the person you'd like to date?

You've got to look at yourself from a different angle.

You've got to step outside of your bubble to be able to have that perspective.

And the universe this week is very much telling us,

Get outside of your routine,

Get outside of your comfort zone,

Get outside of what's comfortable for you,

Because if not,

You can't really see where you're headed.

You think that you're going to all the right nightclubs and you're on all the right apps.

We were looking at statistics earlier this morning,

And one of the crazy statistics I think is a crazy one is 45% of Tinder users use the app to boost their confidence.

That bothers me because I'm a mom.

I don't know.

I got married before these things,

So I can say I didn't need to use them.

I couldn't use them.

But really,

How can I.

.

.

That makes sense to me.

For all of those of you who are using those apps for confidence.

.

.

If I wasn't married or on a spiritual path,

I'd be like,

Well,

Yeah,

You get a couple hits of dopamine a day.

What makes total sense to me?

It bothers me.

Anyway,

I guess I have to look outside and see why it bothers me.

I understand it bothers you,

But I understand.

I understand who doesn't want.

.

.

Even now,

I told you,

There's somebody in the audience who thinks you're an amazing person.

Do you want to know who it is?

And you'd be like,

Sure,

Yeah,

Who's that person?

You get a dopamine hit to know somebody likes you,

And that's what that is.

Acknowledgement that somebody thinks I'm attractive or special or dateable.

I mean,

Even if now some amazing celebrity you love said,

You know what,

I should have very attractive,

Very dateable.

You would like that.

You'd get a dopamine hit.

You wouldn't be like,

Ew,

No,

No,

I don't want to hear it.

If I told you there's a great celebrity who thinks you're attractive,

You would be like,

I don't want to know.

No,

You'd want to know.

Okay,

So David's outing me.

That I get.

But to put yourself out there just to feel good about yourself,

To me,

Again,

That's another,

Do you want to date that person?

Do you want to date someone who's on a dating app just to feel good about themselves?

I don't know.

I think what you're trying to say is because we are so geared to think about the long-term fulfillment and also we're teaching and learning how when you fill yourself with the short-term hits,

You delay the long-term solution.

You're basically saying,

Well,

What's the point?

If all of us here are agreeing that we want the long-term pleasure and to get there,

We have to be able to say no to short-term gratification.

And even though it's painful,

Even though the body physically desires and craves that dopamine hit,

Are you strong enough to say no,

Overcome the pain,

Utilize prayer,

Ask the lighted creator to strengthen you,

Get your dopamine through prayer.

Get your dopamine through prayer.

And we've seen,

This is what we teach and hopefully live by,

We have seen this is how you access these greater worlds of fulfillment and miracles.

And that's why I think you're saying,

Well,

It doesn't make sense.

From my point of view,

I understand why people do it.

However,

From your point of view,

You also realize,

Well,

It's not going to get you what you want.

That's funny because one of the other statistics is 40% of millennials say they won't date someone wrong for them just to be in a relationship.

And we talk about that sometimes how people,

They know they're not with the right person,

But they'd rather be with the wrong person than be alone.

Yeah,

I think that's less of a thing today.

And I think that those people are also finding ways to take what they want from relationships without having to commit to one.

So I think in today's society,

People play Mr.

Potato Head with their love life and just kind of take a nose from here and a leg from there and a different body parts from different people to kind of construct.

And then you can always walk away from it too.

I think people are afraid of getting into stuff that they can't walk away from.

And they like the touch and go energy of relationships.

But we're out of time.

I mean,

We should,

We should have one more question for you.

What do you think is the key to your,

The success in your relationship?

What's that magic sauce that you bring that makes it work?

Well,

First off,

I just want to say that every relationship is a work in progress.

I don't want to say,

Okay,

I'm successful,

You're not and this is how we did it.

I would say,

I would say something I heard when we were away in Israel and Michael Burke said it and I think you hit the nail on the head.

And it's something that I've even implied more since I heard it was when my wife and I have a challenge and a disagreement,

Which is often daily,

In fact,

We disagree.

I noticed that because we are actually both very stubborn people,

We will push each other and talk it out and fight it out until there's a level of understanding and compromise.

And it's very,

It's actually very annoying and painful until that moment where it unlocks.

While I've seen,

Even in myself,

Because we're Pisces,

The Pisces thing could also be to avoid.

It could be just to say,

All right,

You know what,

I'm not going to even talk about it or address it or whatever because I don't want to create a disharmony here.

I'll just do whatever the other person wants.

And that's when you don't go deep with the couple.

So we've learned fight hard and love hard as a result as opposed to be very casual about the relationship because I've seen through experience with 23 years of being with couples that the couples who don't address things when it's uncomfortable and go fight and fight deep,

Right,

Obviously with respect and for the intention of getting closer,

Not for the intention of just hurting the person.

Proving the other person wrong.

Right.

And when I say fight,

I'm saying fight for the relationship.

Don't fight for your ego.

Or for the point.

Or for the point,

Which yeah,

It's the same thing.

I think people are just fighting to like just unleash their own hurt and pain.

That's why you need Kabbalah to deal with that stuff or therapy or something.

You need an outlet to deal with your own hurt and pain.

Otherwise you're going to take it out on the other person.

So I would say that's one thing for us.

And also say there's a lot of relationships.

I see people get too quickly into certain relationships when I know that as a single person they still have work to do.

And I told this to someone recently.

I said,

Look,

You get at least three more months of work on yourself as a single man or woman before you get into a relationship.

And I said,

If you choose not to take that advice,

You will deal with your single person issues in a relationship.

Then you will hurt that person and you will hurt the relationship.

So it's going to be much harder to come back from that.

So why don't you just take a time out and work on yourself so you don't bring that garbage into.

That's so powerful.

I remember when I was single,

I remember using that.

We were told that all the time.

I have forgotten about that.

We were told that all the time.

That is so powerful.

That's one of the gifts of the Kabbalah Center was always kind of like,

Hey,

Before you go into something,

Go outside and deal with yourself by yourself.

Don't bring that into it because you're going to scar the person.

He's going through all your mommy-daddy issues with the person in the room.

The person's like,

Whoa,

What just happened?

You're not the person I thought I was going to.

And then you got to go.

It's a lot easier to resolve that stuff on your own.

If you can.

If you can,

Then to do it with or in front of a partner.

Oh,

Yeah.

There we go.

That my friends was the weekly episode.

We can continue this in next week's show.

I think we just started to scratch the surface.

Well,

That's why the episodes could be longer,

David.

No,

No,

No.

The episodes are perfect.

And then we scratch another surface next week.

Anywho,

Thank you.

That was really very powerful.

And as always,

I have to go back and listen to every episode because I'm listening with my earphone ears.

And then later on,

I get to listen as a listener.

And I'm always so,

I don't know if the word is impressed,

But always kind of shocked and surprised by what ends up coming out of these episodes.

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