Overcoming & Healing Procrastination | Live Event Recording

So,

Happy to be with you guys again,

And today we're going to be talking about procrastination,

Overcoming and healing procrastination.

This is my most recent course.

I just created a course about procrastination a couple months ago,

And this was actually a request from Insight Timer.

They brought me in December and they asked me if I could create some content around procrastination because they recognized that there was a little bit of emptiness in there.

And believe it or not,

I procrastinated to create my procrastination course.

How funny is that?

The weeks were passing and it's like,

Emilio,

You are not creating this course.

What's happening?

And it's just so funny because sometimes procrastination happens for a reason.

And for me,

The reason was that I wasn't ready yet.

I wanted to explore,

I wanted to listen to content,

I wanted to learn what others are talking about so that I could create something a little bit different and unique,

Right?

Not the same thing that everybody else is doing.

So I did spend some time.

So that was a healthy procrastination because believe it or not,

Sometimes procrastination happens to protect you.

Procrastination happens because things don't have to happen when you want them to happen.

That is the healthy procrastination.

And then of course you have the toxic procrastination that that's when you are basically avoiding something and we're going to talk about that.

But yeah,

So needed.

Yeah.

This is a very needed topic.

So finally I was able to create the course and then the format that I chose was to create a short course,

A three day course.

And my intention was to,

In the first session,

To help you become aware of the reasons why you may procrastinate.

The reasons why you may have procrastination tendencies and becoming aware of the reasons gives you a lot of different entry points and gives you a lot of acknowledgement,

Acceptance about the reasons why it is happening,

Right?

And it is easier to accept,

It is easier to embark in the journey of discovery,

Of curiosity,

Of questioning when you have a lot of awareness about different reasons why that tendency of procrastination may happen.

In the second session,

The second day,

I do a meditation,

A meditation where I guide you through,

I try to help you connect with the ways you may procrastinate in different areas of your life.

So you have space to do that meditation.

You can do it as many times as you want.

And I promise you that every time you do it,

Something different is probably going to show up depending on where you are at.

And then the third session,

The third day,

It's all about strategies,

Practical strategies to test,

To approach procrastination tendency with a different behavior,

Different actions,

And hopefully you can overcome that procrastination and transform it into a healing opportunity.

So the idea of this course,

In case you are interested in taking it,

And we can go today in today's session,

We can go wherever you guys want.

You can choose that.

But I really wanted to share that the format is short and sweet with content on each lesson,

First and third,

And the second lesson is a meditation where I guide you through a discovery journey.

Let's call it that way.

I want you to be an adventurer.

I want you to have fun.

I want you to approach the topic from a playful side,

From a questioning,

From this is an adventure,

This is a discovery,

This is a questioning with empathy,

With compassion,

With the willingness to just learn and notice,

Not blame yourself,

Not use negative language.

So that is my intention.

And one of the things that I would like to talk about before we dive into whatever this takes us is that I don't like when people say,

I am a procrastinator.

I don't like that label.

I rather hear,

I am having a procrastination tendency,

Or I have the habit of procrastinating this specific task.

Because that way you are removing your identity from there,

And you have more power to change a tendency or a habit.

But if you label yourself as a procrastinator,

All of a sudden you are attaching your identity to that label,

And it becomes your reality,

It becomes what you are.

So I will invite you to maybe try to choose the approach,

Just give it a try.

Try to choose the approach of,

I am having a tendency to procrastinate this specific task,

This specific conversation,

This specific chore.

I had the tendency to procrastinate creating this procrastination course for weeks.

So that was a tendency.

I am not a procrastinator,

But I had that tendency for the specific course.

And for other specific things in my life,

I notice I procrastinate.

So yeah,

That's the structure.

I'm talking about the structure of the course that you can take on Insight Timer,

And it's a three-day course.

And I just wanted you to know the structure and the reason why I chose that structure.

Today,

We can go wherever you guys want.

So we can go,

We can talk about the reasons why we may procrastinate.

We can dive deeper into that.

We can talk about strategies.

We can talk about different approaches to overcome and heal procrastination and what that could look like,

Practically speaking.

We could also do a practice where we are going to do a meditation and we dive into understanding where we may procrastinate.

So we can do a Q&A too,

If you guys want,

Where I can answer questions around procrastination.

So the people who are live here,

The people who created the time to be here,

You guys get to choose where you want to go.

And I am happy to go wherever you guys want to.

Emilio,

Your gift is integrating fun and playfulness that most of us have strong resistance against.

Thank you.

Yeah,

Amy,

Thank you so much.

I try to do that.

It is true.

I really try to find ways to make things a little bit lighter because otherwise we won't do them.

Honestly,

We won't.

So,

Becca says,

I am a feels blaming of ourself,

Defeated before getting started.

Yeah,

Becca,

I really like that.

When you say I am a,

Those words have a lot of power.

Just hear the difference.

I am a procrastinator versus I am having a tendency to procrastinate this task.

Or I notice that I have a procrastination habit when it comes to having difficult conversations.

So look how different that sounds,

Right?

And all of a sudden you are also,

You are using your words to name what is it that you are procrastinating rather than making a very big generalization that all of a sudden you don't even know how to get started.

I mean,

If I am that,

So what's the point of me trying to change?

I am already that,

So I won't be able to change it.

So yeah,

It's a very interesting how the words that we tell ourselves,

Like the story that we tell ourselves,

How much power that can have.

I procrastinate regarding quitting vaping.

Beautiful.

Why do I procrastinate doing something that I enjoy?

Cathy,

That is a great question and I would like,

I will invite you to answer that question.

Why do you think you are procrastinating doing something that you enjoy?

What is the story that you are telling yourself or the story that you learned from someone else that doing something that you enjoy,

There is something in there that you need to discover.

There is a belief most likely of doing something that you enjoy.

Maybe you don't deserve it.

Maybe you don't have the time for it.

Maybe that is selfish.

Who knows?

But there is something in there that is inviting you to procrastinate and procrastination may be the easier path for you rather than confronting that belief in this moment.

And this is all unconscious.

This is not that you are doing it intentionally,

But this is why this,

This is why procrastination guys is,

I want you to change how you look at procrastination tendencies and instead of being that thing that you can't control,

That thing that embarrasses you,

That thing that you do repeatedly and it makes you a really horrible person,

I want you to look at procrastination from the angle of,

Wow,

Procrastination is happening because I am going to learn from it.

I am going to go on this adventure of discovering why I procrastinate and when I do that,

I am going to heal parts of myself.

I am going to become aware of things that I,

They are unconscious now and when I can do that,

I am going to overcome that tendency and I am going to heal something that is going to help me move forward in a different way.

So I want you to really approach this with that mindset of curiosity,

Of opportunity,

Okay,

Of,

It's like a tool for healing,

A tool for self-reflection,

Self-exploration and a tool for growth.

I am recovering from my procrastination tendencies,

Amazing.

I should do X,

Y and Z chore first before I enjoy myself,

R,

That is a really good belief that I also have that because I always heard,

Especially from my dad,

First work,

Then enjoyment,

That was the rule,

That was the priority and for me that's ingrained,

It's like I cannot have fun if I don't work first,

So it just can't happen and thinking about enjoying and making that my work,

That was almost an impossible belief for me to believe in,

It's impossible to do something that I enjoy and that is my job,

No,

It has to be sacrificed,

It has to do something that is hard and then I will reward myself with enjoyment,

So that's the belief that I had and when I started my own business,

If a Monday,

Tuesday,

Wednesday I wasn't working,

I would feel guilty,

It's like,

Wow,

I should be working,

Everybody else is working,

I don't deserve to have free time on a weekday,

Who am I to do that,

Right?

It doesn't matter if I was productive,

It doesn't matter if I made enough money,

It doesn't matter,

My belief was I can't do this if I don't work first,

So yeah,

It's a very interesting belief and thank you for sharing that.

I want to learn strategies for getting over the procrastination tendency,

Amazing,

We can look at those,

Some of those,

Yeah.

I have a sounds better and reduces the size of the challenge,

Yeah,

Becca,

Amy says I am writing a book on healing chronic illness,

I went from bed and wheelchair bound to hiking,

Dancing,

Yoga,

Traveling when doctors told me there was no cure,

That is amazing,

Amy,

The content is ready but organizing it so I can begin editing it is paralyzing,

I am not clear what the blog is,

So Amy,

Maybe you just need more time to get clear,

Right?

And I kind of see myself reflected in this with the course,

Right?

I really wanted to create the course,

I came so many times to the office with the intention of creating the course and it just didn't come out of me,

It just wasn't the right time and I had to keep doing other things until I felt ready and then it just came out of me and it was clear,

I don't know if it makes sense but sometimes we try to push things in the way that we want them to happen but sometimes they are not meant to happen that way and we need to learn how to accept that,

I don't know if it's the same situation for you but that was the situation for me about this specific course.

So Rebecca says,

Hi everyone from Spain,

Where are you in Spain?

For me procrastination comes from anxiety,

I am very,

Very perfectionist and when something isn't going to work out as well as I would like it to,

I procrastinate,

Hey,

That's me,

Hi,

My name is Emilio and I am a perfectionist,

Yeah,

Recovering perfectionist I would say now,

I am doing a bit better but yeah,

Many times I have perfectionism tendencies,

Absolutely and I can relate to creating such high standard that there is no way you can do that,

It's just not possible,

So you rather don't get started because you are going to fail,

95% you are going to fail because you won't have the time,

You don't have the resources,

You don't have the motivation to do it so,

So,

So well,

Yeah,

Yeah.

So you guys want to dive into some of the reasons,

Someone asked for the reasons and someone say strategy,

So maybe we can do a quick go through some of the reasons that why we may procrastinate so that we can become aware and I would like to ask you guys before we dive into this,

Can you be specific about an area of your life or a specific chore activity that you notice you have a procrastination tendency,

Are you happy to share one,

Two if you want but one event in your life that you have a tendency to procrastinate and as I share for example,

I had a tendency to procrastinate when I was trying to create this course and it took me a few weeks extra than what I was expecting,

So to me that felt like I was procrastinating that.

So anything related to creative expression,

So you have a tendency to procrastinate anything related to creative expression,

Okay,

Cleaning clutter,

Doing anything financial,

Boredom,

Going to bed early,

Uncreative dreams,

I procrastinate little to do things,

Finances,

Phone calls,

Any annoying errands,

In my case it seems I've been studying for a very important exam,

I have a tendency to procrastinate on getting to bed at the same time every night,

House cleaning especially decluttering,

Also going to counselling for marriage,

Yeah,

My tax return,

Who loves doing taxes right,

I just have to do my taxes and I'm really looking forward to dive into so many papers and numbers,

It's just an amazing task,

I'm just kidding,

I don't like it,

I tend to procrastinate working on business,

Yeah,

Me too Janelle,

My name is Emilio and I procrastinate showing up for my business in better ways,

Because I'm afraid,

Because in the past it didn't work and I have the belief it won't work again,

So I have that fear and so many times I don't do more because I choose to stay in that fear,

So it makes sense.

Both my sister and I put off enjoying a new item,

Such as she had a new cell phone for weeks before starting it,

I noticed as kids our parents forced us to do something to earn it,

Which usually meant us being scolded first before we were allowed to have it,

Perhaps as adults she and I wait for a reason to show up to punish ourselves first before enjoyment of the item,

Yeah Becca,

Such a wonderful connection right,

With a childhood experience,

But you learn from that experience that it got ingrained in your nervous system and basically that belief is so deep that now you are still doing that and it still feels the right thing to do,

So beautiful example,

Thank you,

Yeah,

Exercising even though it feels good,

Amazing,

So guys thank you so much for sharing such specific things right,

That you may procrastinate,

So let me read some of the reasons why we may procrastinate,

Some of the reasons I have here and feel free to share any reasons that you may be noticing in your own life,

But basically some of the reasons,

Fear of failure,

Someone said that already,

Task initiation basically this is an executive functioning skills,

Task initiation means not knowing how to get started,

Not finding the motivation,

Not perfectionism probably makes you don't initiate a task because you are afraid of failing,

So it is very connected,

Not having all the information that you need to make that task,

Not knowing how to do the task because no one has shown you and you don't quite understand how to do it,

So you may procrastinate,

Sometimes it's a communication problem,

You don't have,

You need to communicate with someone and that communication you sense that it's going to be difficult or challenging and you procrastinate having that conversation,

Avoid making others upset or uncomfortable,

Maybe sometimes we procrastinate saying something or doing something because we know that it's going to have a negative impact on others,

Even though we may feel that it is the right thing to do,

We may procrastinate doing that,

Not able to say no,

Many times we are not able to say no to things that we don't want to do and then because we don't say no we are supposed to do them,

But we procrastinate them because they are boring,

Because they don't fulfill us,

Because we don't really need to do them,

Because they don't align with us,

Etc.

,

So boundaries right,

Not setting the right boundaries that we need,

Not having clear boundaries,

It's an invitation for you to procrastinate things that you don't want to do,

But you didn't set clear boundaries about them,

Feeling not good enough,

Sometimes we don't feel good enough to do something,

So we just procrastinate,

We don't deserve it,

We are not good enough,

We are going to be selfish if we do that,

So I'd rather stay away from feeling that,

From making other people see us that way right,

Many times we don't do something and we procrastinate because we are avoiding a very strong emotion,

Maybe an anxiety,

It may be fear,

It may be sadness,

It may be that you are super angry,

Maybe a specific task,

Activity or chore evokes something in you that is so intense that you just rather stay away from it,

Even though it may be good for you to do it,

But the discomfort and that emotion,

That intensity is just so overwhelming that you just choose to procrastinate,

Stay safe right,

Fear of the unknown,

Of the uncertainty,

This happens a lot when you are about to do something that is different,

Something that is new,

You have to step up to do something that you have never done it before,

So you don't know what's going to happen,

You don't know if it's going to work,

You don't know if you are going to like it,

You don't know the impact that this may have in other people,

In yourself,

So you rather stay in your familiarity and procrastinate stepping out of your comfort zone,

But the truth is if we don't step out of our comfort zone,

If we don't step into the unknown,

Into the uncertain,

Nothing new is going to show up,

We are not going to create anything new,

But it's very easy to stay there and to procrastinate,

Okay,

Many times the task that you are about to do is just overwhelming and this has to do with a couple of executive functioning skills,

One of them is task completion,

Okay,

So defining what it means to complete a task and I hear a lot from people when I'm helping them declare their home,

What do you want,

I want to declare my home,

Okay,

So what are you doing today,

I'm going to declare my home,

Okay,

So basically you are setting yourself up for failure because you won't be able to declare your home in one day most likely,

In one session,

So if that's the expectation that you set for yourself,

You are going to feel overwhelmed,

You are not going to be able to do it,

The other executive functioning skill that applies to this specific case is sequencing,

Right,

Sequencing is taking a big project like organizing my home that it is overwhelming and you don't quite understand how to take action on it and you are going to divide it into different steps,

Steps that hopefully you can initiate easily and you can complete easily and that's where task initiation,

Task completion,

Sequencing,

All of that is related,

Right,

Because you will create the sequence of steps,

Okay,

With the right priority and then you are going to start taking action on them and instead of you saying today I have one hour,

I am going to declare my home because you did the work of sequencing,

You are going to say today I have one hour,

I am going to do the entry closet and that's it,

So task initiation is very easy,

I am going to do my closet rather than I am going to do my home,

How likely are you to get started if you are going to do your home,

Most likely it's going to be like,

But how easy it is to say I am going to do this small closet that I know I can start and finish in one hour,

So you are going to complete that task because the task completion is defined in a very specific and concrete way and then the sequencing is I will do this closet and then I will do this drawer and then I will do the bathroom and then I will do my bedroom just under the bed and then over the bed and then on the dresser and then on the lower closet,

Upper closet,

You know what I mean,

So you sequence the project in a way that feels good to you,

In a way that you notice less resistance and less overwhelm,

Okay,

Yeah,

Feeling that you don't have enough time,

Okay,

Many times we feel we don't have enough time so we will procrastinate and that has to do with the same sequencing,

Creating smaller tasks that you can initiate easily without resistance,

Many times we procrastinate because we have conflicting priorities,

We have so much to do that we don't do anything and I see myself in that many times,

Sometimes I'm trying to do something for work,

I'm trying to do something for the home,

I'm trying to create a daytime for my wife and I have so many things in my head that I come here and I don't have clarity,

I don't really know what I'm doing and all of a sudden I'm sitting with all these things that I want to do but I didn't define an intention and I am not clear and I feel overwhelmed and I feel confused,

Analysis paralysis and I spend one hour and I do something completely different so I come here with the idea of doing one of those five things and then maybe I just go and go for a walk because I don't know how to take action on the other things and then maybe I come back from the walk and then I have more clarity and then I decide something but that happens to me pretty often so lack of intention,

Lack of direction,

Right?

That is something that is also a reason.

Yeah,

So let me read some of your comments.

Are there any other reasons that you can think of?

So Emilio,

Would you say the process of touching every item first would be a way to break procrastination of decluttering?

We can start there by assigning time for that.

So Becca,

Touching every item first when it comes to decluttering,

My experience after doing this for like 11 years with people in their homes,

The process that I always follow is first clarity.

What are we doing?

What is the outcome that you are expecting?

Why are you decluttering?

What are you trying to get to?

What activities are you trying to do?

How do you want to feel?

What are the frustrations you are trying to eliminate?

So I try to get an idea first of what are the intentions,

Right,

Behind doing this process because I don't want to make assumptions.

Once I understand what they need and want and they have more clarity themselves,

Then we are going to confront the physical items and I normally try to choose a category that is not very emotionally charged for that person.

So for example,

If you are trying to declutter your living room and there are books,

There are clothes,

There are office supplies,

There is,

And you know that books are really difficult for you to make decisions about,

I will not get started with books.

I will get started with the other things and I will come back to books later.

But when you are decluttering,

You do have to touch everything that's in that space at some point,

Okay?

You can do it by category.

I normally try to have a peek at the space and I will say,

Okay,

I am seeing and I try to make categories in my head.

I'm seeing clothes,

I'm seeing tools,

I'm seeing papers,

I'm seeing books,

I'm seeing crafts,

I'm seeing.

.

.

So I try to make those categories and I try to group things together and then I will do the decluttering with the person.

I will ask what is this for?

Does it belong in your life?

And then once we are left with what the person wants to keep,

That's when we organize things.

So I hope that that makes sense,

But procrastination can happen when you feel a strong emotion.

Like if books are your life,

You love books and then you have too many books and you get started confronting books because it may be so difficult for you to decide,

You most likely are going to procrastinate doing books.

That's why I always invite people to get started in other areas,

In other categories first,

That you don't notice as much charge.

And then I promise you that when you start building that muscle of decision-making,

When you start making progress in other areas and you start seeing visual impact,

A visual transformation in your space,

You're going to go back to books and you're going to look at them with a completely different view.

And I am telling you this because I have seen it so many times.

When I'm helping people,

I notice they have,

They are having a hard time with a specific category.

I will say,

Let's put this aside.

Let's just put everything in here.

We don't have to decide about that now.

Let's keep going with this.

And then they keep going,

Going,

Going,

And then they will come back to that pile.

It's like,

Huh,

I don't feel as much charge anymore.

And now I have more clarity.

I know how many I can go through and before I couldn't.

And this is maybe one to two hours into the process,

Sometimes three hours into the process.

So it's not a long time.

So it's very important that you recognize this.

And this is a very specific example on how becoming aware of that procrastination can invite you into a healing opportunity.

You can transform and heal a part of yourself,

A relationship that you have with those books into a different relationship.

So yeah,

Very,

Very powerful.

Sounds much easier.

Not so overwhelming.

Thank you.

You're welcome,

Becca.

Yeah.

So these are some of the reasons,

Right,

Guys.

I'm happy to dive into maybe some of the strategies if you guys want to.

But what's coming up for you with these reasons?

Is there any other reason that you can think of that you notice that you procrastinate because of that reason?

I would love to know in the chat if there is anything else that because these are just some of the reasons,

Right?

I mean,

It's very difficult to cover all of the reasons,

But at least the main ones are here.

Okay.

There is something also important that I have here that I want to mention,

And that is the short term goals versus the long term goals.

Sometimes we have a tendency to procrastinate the long term goals because they are too far away.

And it's kind of difficult to take action.

And the long term reward is not as pleasing as the short term reward.

Sometimes we are looking for quick reward,

Quick pleasure,

Right?

And sometimes taking action on something that is really far away is not very motivating.

And it doesn't give us that kick of motivation that we want.

So sometimes we will have a tendency to focus on the short term stuff,

But we will forget about our dreams,

About our bigger projects,

And we will never get there.

And we will procrastinate.

And those are the most important things in our lives,

Majority of the times.

And we always procrastinate them because they are not urgent.

They don't have a deadline.

It's not a file that needs to be put off.

So because it's,

Yeah,

I'll do it later.

And then you tend to procrastinate.

And many times those are the things that you need to really work at and create deadlines for because those are your dreams.

Those are the things that you really care about.

But because they don't have a deadline,

Because they don't feel urgent,

We may forget about them.

So let me read some of your comments.

It used to be hard for me to donate books,

But then I thought about all the books I won't be able to read.

Yeah.

Motivation is a biggie.

Procrastinate present tense.

Sometimes procrastinating on tasks that may bring overwhelming clarity and shame.

Yeah.

Yes,

Definitely.

I was procrastinating cleaning some rooms in my house.

I spent a few hours out of the house and my partner ended up knocking out all the chore.

I am grateful and also really frustrated since I can't find things,

But also discouraged because I now measure my progress today compared to what he did in one afternoon.

So R,

Just be gentle with yourself.

I'm sure that there are reasons why you were not able to do that.

I'm sure there are emotional reasons that probably he didn't have.

And this is normal.

It happens.

Maybe he had more clarity.

Maybe he did something that didn't relate to what you wanted for that space.

So there are so many things that can happen here.

And clear communication sometimes around these topics is difficult.

But yeah,

It's nice that he wanted to help.

It's nice that he got it done.

It makes sense that you are frustrated that you don't find things now.

But maybe he can give you a tour of the space and maybe he can explain to you where he placed things and why.

And maybe you can tweak the space together.

That can be a really good practice to tweak the space together,

To place things in a way that you both feel well with those things being there.

And yeah,

It can become a nice time together doing that task if you guys want.

That makes sense.

Yes,

Always procrastinating on long-term goals.

Yeah.

So those are some of the tasks,

Some of the reasons why we may procrastinate.

And again,

It's very important that you create space to connect with your reasons,

To connect with your reality right now.

And it's really helpful to really find that specific tendency in a very specific situation of your life rather than generalizing.

Because when you can be concrete and specific,

Like,

Wow,

I noticed that I,

In my case,

I noticed I was procrastinating creating this course,

For example.

It's very,

Very specific.

It's not about relationships.

It's not about any other stuff.

It's just about this specific course,

Right?

And I could go deeper with that.

I could really look at what are the reasons,

What's happening?

Is there anything I need to accept?

How can I move forward through this procrastination in a way that feels aligned with me?

How can I honor,

How can I learn from this specific tendency that I'm noticing in myself?

And then always with compassion,

With patience,

And with curiosity,

Okay?

And then once you can notice that and you can accept the reality of how things are now and how you feel,

That's when you are going to start doing something different.

And that's when we can dive into some of the strategies to overcome procrastination and get your power back so that you can actually take action with clarity,

With confidence,

And at least start trying something different rather than what you have done until now.

So Kai says,

Moved in with my dad and his wife,

And they can never find anything.

I offer to help as I am a master organizer and declutter,

But they won't let me help.

Anything you would recommend or just let them be.

Kai,

This is a question that I get all the time.

How can I help someone with clutter that they don't want to receive that help?

And it's,

I mean,

You live there,

Right?

So I'm sure that if you want to cook and you don't find things in the kitchen,

Or if you want to sit down in the living room using the couch and maybe the couch is full of things,

I don't know what the situation is,

But I think it's nice that you are offering your help.

It's nice that you are open to doing that work for them.

If they don't see a problem,

If they don't want the help,

It's very difficult to push that,

Right?

It's very difficult to,

The only thing you can,

You have control over is your space.

Maybe you have your own room,

So that is your space and you keep it however you want,

But sometimes there are different ways of dealing with physical belongings.

There are different standards,

There are different approaches,

Different personality types,

And sometimes it can be very challenging to live with someone who is really different than you.

Sometimes it takes flexibility from both sides and sometimes people don't want to change,

They don't want to be told that they are disorganized and they will choose to be frustrated every day not finding things rather than organizing one time and then finding everything easily.

And there are always reasons why they are choosing that and sometimes they just don't want to look for other options and that's the reality at that specific time.

And when that happens,

It's very,

There is very little you can do,

Honestly,

And it's really sad,

But there is very little.

You can try to share with them the benefits of doing this,

You can watch a documentary called Minimalism,

If you want,

Together,

You could ask for permission to maybe do a very small area that maybe you are using,

Maybe if you use the kitchen,

For example,

You can ask them,

Is it possible because I use the kitchen,

Can I set the kitchen on a different way and show you what I've done and then see if you like it and then maybe you do that and maybe they may feel inspired to keep going,

But I don't know,

Hopefully you can find a way.

But sometimes,

Sadly,

They don't want to change and there is very little you can do.

I don't even have my own space,

My dad used the closet as his wife's things have taken over his room,

It's difficult as I am a minimalist.

Yeah,

Okay,

I can feel your pain,

Man,

Woman,

I don't know by the picture,

I don't know if you're a man or a woman,

Sorry,

But I feel your pain,

I can imagine how difficult it must be to live in an environment that is the opposite of your values.

Helping family to declare it can be very challenging when they don't want that help.

Yeah,

I mean,

Guys,

We are,

My wife and I,

We are professional organizers and we have helped some family members,

But it is true,

You are emotionally attached to them and they treat you very different than what they would treat a professional person coming into their homes because they don't have that emotional connection.

So,

Sometimes it is difficult to help someone when they are related to you,

Emotionally speaking.

Yeah,

So do you guys want to dive into some of the strategies?

It's okay,

I'm a woman,

I am adjusting,

I don't want to rock the boat,

But I declared the room and my dad will find something else to fill the space in my room.

Yeah,

Kai,

That's what happens,

Right?

If they don't want to change,

They have tendencies,

They have habits,

They have a way of living,

A way of acting that is familiar for them,

And sometimes they use that physical clutter to cope with other emotions that they don't want to look at and they are choosing not to look at them.

And that's why I always say that healing,

Decluttering is a choice and some people don't make that choice and you have to respect it too.

But I can see how living in that environment must be really challenging.

Strategies to end procrastination,

Please.

Okay,

Let's dive into some of the strategies,

Right?

Because we are running out of time,

Oh my God.

So creating time to take in with yourself,

Okay?

Really take in with yourself,

What is it that you really want,

Okay?

This is when intention comes into place,

This is when alignment comes into place,

This is when mindfulness,

Having a practice of some sort,

That can be meditation,

That can be going for a walk in solitude,

That can be doing yoga,

That can be whatever activity you do that energizes you and that helps you take care of yourself.

Use that time to really take in with yourself,

To really use your metacognition executive functioning skill to really look at that procrastination tendency,

To sit with it,

To recognize the feelings that you are feeling,

To create space for them,

To understand and learn from those feelings and then to start trying to act differently.

So that is one of the first steps,

Right?

Really noticing creating that space and you can create that space in whatever way feels good to you,

Okay?

Taking small action helps you gain motivation and momentum.

Sometimes just by getting started doing something different is going to create momentum.

Sometimes we stay in our heads,

We have the strategies,

We have the theory but we don't take action and sometimes we don't know what action to take.

But let me tell you one thing,

Any action is better than no action,

Okay?

It's better that you take action and make a mistake and then try something different rather than you never take any step because you are afraid of failing.

So any action is better than no action.

So taking small action steps can help you gain motivation and momentum.

Personal satisfaction.

You can feel good about yourself because you did something,

Right?

Oh my god,

I took that step,

I'm proud of myself.

All of a sudden you are feeling different about yourself and what you can do.

If you don't take any action you won't get that,

Okay?

You will feel capable and motivated,

Okay?

A big one.

Taking responsibility for your life.

Taking responsibility for your actions.

Taking responsibility for your choices.

Right now you are choosing to procrastinate,

Most likely unconsciously,

Okay?

But you are making that choice and if you can take ownership and you can say,

Like,

When I was doing this course and I was noticing I was procrastinating and I was talking with my wife,

I would tell her,

Like,

Samantha,

I am procrastinating.

I take full ownership of it.

It is my choice right now.

That's what I'm choosing unconsciously and I don't really know why but I'm doing that.

I am responsible,

Okay?

I'm not a victim of anything.

I am doing that.

And then over time,

Always with compassion,

Right?

Not putting myself down but with compassion.

But taking responsibility is really important.

Someone said productivity is doing more of what feels good to you.

Productivity is doing more of what feels good to you.

Many times we procrastinate things that we don't want to do,

That we don't need to do.

And many times we do them because we are pleasing someone,

Because we believe we have to,

Because we have done them for so long that we are supposed to.

But sometimes we have to be very clear.

We have to be very boundary-oriented and we need to say no with respect.

And we have to say,

You know what,

That is great and I am not interested at this time.

You know what,

I don't want to make that a priority in my life right now.

Thank you for thinking of me.

Or you know right now,

Like,

I used to be doing this task but you know what,

I have changed a lot lately.

And right now that doesn't fit in my life.

It's just,

It's not something I want to do any longer.

Sometimes you have to have those conversations.

First with yourself,

Get clear,

And then with other people.

And if it's something that you need to do,

Then really get clear on why am I doing this?

What are the benefits of doing this,

This thing that I don't want to?

So for example,

Now I have to do all the accounting for the business again because my wife has done it for the last three years.

And now I have to do them again.

And I was thinking,

Oh,

I don't want to do them.

But I know the benefits of doing them.

I know the benefits of being on top of it.

So I know it needs to get done.

Like it or not,

It needs to get done.

I need to close the month.

I need to.

So if I choose to procrastinate,

I am going to create a big mess at the end of the year.

And then I will be overwhelmed.

I will be stressed.

I most likely will have to pay someone to help me.

And it won't be a good scenario.

So I remind myself of the consequences of me choosing to procrastinate.

And then I choose to then take action differently.

And I try to make that task as easy as possible.

I try to automate that task as much as I can.

And maybe I look for an accountant and see if I can find someone that can help me.

But if not,

I will choose consciously what I want to do about it rather than avoiding it.

Understanding the consequences of your procrastination habit is very helpful.

Sometimes,

Again,

With this example of the accounting,

If I procrastinate doing the accounting,

It's going to get to the end of the year.

And then instead of me taking half an hour to an hour to get it done,

It's going to be a few days for me to go through all the papers,

All the numbers.

It's going to be stressful.

It's going to disrupt myself.

It's going to disrupt my mood.

It's going to not give us clarity about how we are doing every month.

So I could put my family in danger because I am not aware of what's happening.

So there are so many consequences that when I think about them and I think of the impact of those consequences,

I immediately want to be proactive.

And this is me.

Maybe it's different for you.

But sometimes when you can do that,

You can really get clear about the choice that you are making.

Okay.

Yeah.

And then thinking about the concept of what is the price of your procrastination habit?

How much is procrastination costing you?

Right.

And again,

When you can put a monetary value,

When you can put a time value,

When you can put an emotional value to you choosing to procrastinate,

All of a sudden you are not going to choose that because it's so clear.

It's like,

I don't want to upset my wife.

I don't want to be moody.

I don't want to pay late fees.

So you are going to say,

No,

I'm not going to procrastinate this task.

It's so important.

I don't like it,

But it is so important and it makes my life better if I get it done now.

So that's the thing,

Right?

Strategy.

Okay.

Becoming aware of your executive functioning skills is so important.

I have a full length course about executive functioning skills,

And I have done so many live sessions that you can find the recordings,

But task initiation,

Task completion,

Sequencing,

Metacognition,

Impulse control,

Emotional self-regulation.

There are so many executive functioning skills that when you become aware of them,

All of a sudden you have so many different entry points to overcome your procrastination.

All of a sudden you are going to have a lot of extra strategies that you can test to see which one works with your brain,

With the way you function,

And it's going to look different for each of you.

So becoming aware of executive functioning skills is a very,

Very recommended journey for you to overcome procrastination.

Okay.

Thinking about,

And this is something that my friend brought to me because I was asking him.

He mentioned one time,

I am a procrastinator,

So I thought I'm going to ask him a bunch of questions.

And then he mentioned something that was really interesting.

He mentioned about micro tasks and micro habits,

Avoiding micro procrastination.

So basically he was talking about how throughout the day,

You may choose to micro procrastinate things.

I am going to micro procrastinate putting this dirty shirt into the laundry.

I am going to micro procrastinate washing this coffee mug.

I am going to micro procrastinate putting away the toys that my daughter use right now.

And then you start adding up all the micro procrastinations,

All the micro tasks that you didn't get done in the moment that will have taken you five to 10 seconds.

And all of a sudden at the end of the day,

You have a macro procrastination tendency because you have a macro task.

All of a sudden you have to wash the dishes,

Put the toys away,

Do the laundry,

And then you start adding up all of those things.

And then his concept is to really promote to be proactive with those micro tasks that you can get done in the moment and will set you up for success.

And I am actually,

I do that a lot.

And that's the reason why many times I don't get into trouble because I am,

I always try to be proactive.

I always try to choose to be proactive rather than reactive.

And that really serves me really,

Really well.

And it makes my life way less stressful.

So that's another thing to think about.

Okay.

Learning how to communicate better is a beautiful recipe to avoid procrastination when it comes to communication with others.

Learning the nonviolent structure,

Learning the imago dialogue,

And just grabbing things from those structures and start using them in your day-to-day conversations can be really,

Really helpful.

And it can transform the way you communicate with others and the way you request what you need in a clear way.

Understand your traumas and triggers and create space to keep healing them.

Another super important thing,

Right?

And you guys are all on Insight Timer,

So you guys are very aware of healing,

Of emotional processing,

Of trauma most likely.

So when you create space to keep understanding your trauma,

Keep understanding your triggers,

Keep understanding what you need,

You are going to keep healing things.

And that applies to procrastination too.

Okay.

Sometimes learning the necessary skills so that you won't procrastinate is so important.

Sometimes just accepting like,

Hey,

I have never done this task before,

I don't really know how to do it,

And I need support.

Can you please support me?

That can be the difference between you procrastinating or you learning from someone and then being able to do it alone.

Asking for the right way for you to be teached is also very important,

Right?

Setting a deadline,

Like again,

Setting deadlines,

Using a timer,

Okay?

Using the Pomodoro Technique,

That is something that I talk a lot about.

Setting the Pomodoro Technique uses a timer and then you create intentional packets of time where you are deciding to do a specific task.

So if you have a tendency to procrastinate a specific task,

Using a timer and setting a clear container of time is going to allow you to probably focus on that task and get it done in small chunks of time.

Maintain the focus,

Okay?

Sometimes rewarding yourself after taking action,

It is really helpful,

Right?

Finding a reward.

If I can do this,

Then I will reward myself by having a bath,

By eating that chocolate bar,

By going to the gym,

By,

I don't know,

Watching a show,

By listening to my favorite music.

So try to find something that you can reward yourself with.

Learning how to say no with intention,

Okay?

And then like the last one I want to share,

Creating a healthy foundation to support you,

Okay?

Creating a healthy foundation to support you,

It's a recipe for you avoiding procrastination and many other mental health issues that you may experience.

What does it mean to create a healthy foundation?

Well,

Home organization,

Meal planning,

Having a laundry system,

Eliminate the visual reminders that you may have around driving you crazy,

All the things that you need to get done,

Having a system for your finances,

Having a calendar that is clear and you understand and supports you,

Having a self-care list.

So all the things that I always talk about in different areas of life that you cannot do them all at once,

But if you keep them in mind and you are proactive and you keep setting a foundation physically,

Speaking in your home and in your office,

And you keep setting a foundation for your meal planning so that you eat well,

So that eating becomes easy,

So that you have a system that you can follow and you feel inspired to keep going.

So setting that foundation is so important and that takes proactivity,

That takes an investment,

But if I were to tell you guys,

Give me $10 today and I am going to save you $10 every day for the rest of your life,

Like what would you tell me?

Would you give me $10 or would you keep those $10 in your pocket?

So give me $10 today and I am going to save you $10 every day for the rest of your life.

Would you give me $10 or not?

I just want to see your answer in the chat.

So if you give me $10 today and I can save you $10 every day for the rest of your life,

Would you give me $10?

And if the answer is yes,

Again,

Like would you give me 10 minutes of your time so that you can save 10 minutes of your time every day for the rest of your life?

So this is a lifetime investment and I want you to think about that when you are being proactive,

Okay?

Would you spend,

Would you invest 10 minutes of your time in creating a system for your finances,

Knowing that that system is going to save you time,

It's going to save you energy,

It's going to save you being in a mood,

It's going to save you family conflicts for the rest of your life.

So would you create a system or would you just keep facing those consequences?

Same with your home,

Same with your calendar,

Same with procrastination.

So first,

I would want to know how you will do it.

That's a good question,

Becca.

Yeah,

So that will be depending on the area of your life that you are trying to change,

Right?

So let me see some of your comments.

Yes,

I did a three-hour online workshop today and then did a one-hour outdoor meditation and walk to get me away from the computer.

Amazing,

Okay?

So you are finding that balance,

Right?

That is so important.

Emilio,

Thank you for all the times you repeat your lessons,

Even though it may strain your patience.

Micro-procrastination is a great way to looking at it.

Yeah.

Hi,

Emilio.

Sorry I joined so late,

But I am a terrible procrastinator.

Angela,

You have procrastination tendencies.

You are not a procrastinator.

I will give you $10 a day and receive it every day.

Yeah,

Amazing.

Yeah,

Guys.

So I hope that you found value in this session today.

I hope that you had some time to connect with the ways you may procrastinate in your life now.

I hope that some of the resources I shared resonated with you,

And I hope that some of the strategies I shared,

Hopefully you feel inspired to give them a try.

I know there is a lot of information in there,

And as I say,

The most important piece is to take action,

Okay?

I have a course on Insight Timer that you can listen to.

Lesson one is all about what is procrastination and the reasons why we may procrastinate,

So you can listen to that as many times as you want so that you can connect with the ones that you resonate with.

And then the second day is a meditation for you to help you connect with the ways you may procrastinate.

And the third session is all about the strategies that I share some of them,

Okay?

On how can I move forward in a different way?

What can I do,

Practically speaking,

In my day-to-day life to try and heal this procrastination tendency,

Overcome it,

And learn from it,

Okay?

So I hope to see some of you inside the course if you want to take it,

And I really honor you for being here,

For listening to this,

For being curious,

For being an adventurer,

And for looking at procrastination from a different angle.

Hopefully it's a more,

It's a lighter angle than normally.

Procrastination is something dark,

Something difficult,

Something challenging,

Something that we want to kind of avoid,

And I hope that you can use that procrastination in a different way.

If you guys enjoy this session,

As always,

I will appreciate a donation if you can.

Yeah,

And why is the most important always the hardest?

Okay,

Ask.

That's a great question.

Why is the most important always the hardest?

Maybe because you are the one who needs to create the structure for it.

Maybe because no one else is forcing you to do that,

And then it becomes easy to forget,

Because it's not urgent.

Maybe there is not a deadline attached to it.

There can be many reasons.

Maybe there is a belief that you don't deserve that,

Or that you never would,

That you would never get that,

Or you don't deserve that.

That's too good to be true.

So there can be many,

Many reasons why,

And every unique situation is unique situation is different.

So I am just generalizing here,

But it is a great question that I invite you to meditate on.

Okay,

Just sit in meditation,

In silence,

And ask that question.

Why is the most important always the hardest?

And just wait for answers.

See what comes up.

I promise you that something will come to you,

More clarity,

More some answers maybe,

Some ideas on things you could do.

So maybe have a journal beside you just in case something comes,

And you can write it down.

Yeah,

Amazing.

Guys,

Thank you so much for being here.

Have an amazing weekend,

And I hope to see you in the next lesson,

In the next session,

Next week,

If you can make it,

Or inside one of my courses,

Okay?

Until then,

I wish you the best,

And have fun putting this into practice,

Okay?

Adios!