Rituals & Transitioning Through Stages Of Life (Recording)

Welcome,

Guys,

To another session with me.

My name is Emilio Jose Garcia,

And today we are going to be talking about creating rituals and transitioning through different stages of life.

Good morning,

Amanda.

Good morning,

CJ.

It's very nice to see you guys.

Thank you so much for tuning in to another session.

Yeah,

I really like today's topic because this is something that is very,

Very necessary.

And this is also something that it's a little bit,

I will say,

Mystical.

It's a little bit sacred.

It can be fun.

It can be something very unique and very customized to you.

And this is the,

I like to call them rituals rather than routines or habits because ritual sounds,

To me,

It sounds more appealing.

It sounds more,

Yeah,

More mystical,

More magical.

And I feel that when you are working really hard at changing your life,

When you are decluttering,

When you are setting new intentions,

When you are trying to create something different in your life,

Then you have to maintain those changes.

And that's the secret of success.

Making the changes sometimes,

It's pretty fast,

But maintaining them,

Maintaining that new lifestyle,

Those new habits and routines that you are trying to incorporate in your life,

It's very,

Very important to repeat.

It's very important to set a nice environment that is going to allow you to repeat that new ceremony,

Ritual,

Routine,

Habit,

However you want to call it.

I like to call it a ritual.

It's like a ritual.

And I like to think of rituals applied to different areas of life.

So I will share some of the rituals that we have as a family,

Some of the rituals that I have as an individual person,

So that you can get an idea of what I mean by that.

And then I also want to touch on today's session,

The importance of becoming aware of how your life is going to transition,

Is going to evolve through the different stages.

And these stages,

There are some common stages for most people,

But they may look different to you and you may face different stages of your life.

Some of the main stages that the majority of the people go through is they are raised with their families,

They live with their parents,

And then they move in with students,

With co-workers,

And then they may find a partner,

And then they move in with their partner,

And then they may have a family,

Or they may change locations because of work,

Or they may travel the world,

Move to a different country,

And then maybe they will face like a retirement,

And then that's a whole new like intention,

A whole new different lifestyle,

What am I going to do now with my life,

With all this time.

So there are so many different stages of life.

Also,

Like if you have a family when your kids leave the home,

That's a big change that you also have to like transition to,

Right?

All of a sudden you have this home that your kids don't live with you anymore.

And physically,

Emotionally,

Spiritually,

Like there are so many layers to those changes that we need to adjust to.

Okay,

So that's why it's so important this topic.

And this is something that I covered in my course,

How creating your peaceful and clutter-free home.

The course will help you connect with your new intentions,

Visualize them,

And then make the physical and emotional changes that are required,

And then maintain those changes.

And today's topic is one extracting one of the lessons from that course,

That that's the maintenance,

The rituals and the routines that you need to establish to be able to maintain the changes.

Okay,

Tonya says,

Yes,

I am creating a meditation space with special items in a corner,

Cleared.

Amazing,

Tonya.

I love that intention.

And having a place to do your meditation is it's it's very nice.

I have been trying to meditate every day for at least 20 minutes for the past couple of weeks.

And except for yesterday that I didn't,

I've been successful every day I have been doing that.

So yeah,

That's that's very nice that you are creating an environment for you to be able to facilitate that meditation practice that you want to incorporate in your life.

So thank you for sharing that,

Tonya.

So let's do a little a little practice before we get started.

Okay,

I have my singing bowl.

So let's just,

If you can close your eyes,

Take a few breaths.

Just relax.

And just listen to the singing bowl for a few seconds.

Just allow yourself to transition into this session with intention.

Everything that you have to do,

It's gonna be there after the session so don't worry.

I invite you to reflect about transitioning now into a different stage of life.

What kind of changes are you calling into your life?

What kind of changes would you like to see?

And you can visualize different areas of your life if you want,

If that helps.

Sometimes,

Something may come up really quickly.

And you already know what that is.

You kind of feel I need this change.

Sometimes it helps to focus your attention and energy into different areas and then see what comes up.

So maybe you can do like a quick life scan and say,

Okay,

How do I feel with my relationships?

Is there anything I would like to change in there?

How do I feel in my home?

How do I feel at work?

How do I feel spiritually speaking?

How do I feel creatively speaking?

Is there anything I need to change?

Maybe I am craving more creativity in my life.

And maybe to be able to facilitate that,

I need to do something to remind myself of that.

Maybe it's writing it in my journal.

Maybe it is working on creating a space where I can actually be creative.

Maybe it is talking with someone that maybe can be creative with you and you can do it together.

Maybe it's finding a course,

Finding a space outside of your home where you can go and create there.

What is it?

Yes.

Allow some space for those ideas to come.

For those possibilities to come.

Sometimes the only thing that we need to do to find answers is to just create a little bit of space and silence.

And just notice what shows up,

Notice what comes up.

And sometimes the answers are there.

Just breathe.

And if you have made changes lately,

I invite you to reflect about how are those changes going?

Are you able to maintain the changes that you created?

Is there anything that you can do to make that process easier?

Are you celebrating all the work that you have done and all the progress that you have made?

And now I invite you to come back to the present moment.

Open your eyes.

I would love if you can share in the chat,

Like,

What came up for you?

Is there anything that came up for you?

Is there any change that you saw that maybe it's important?

Any celebration that you noticed?

Any feeling,

Any emotion that showed up that you were not aware of?

Any exciting changes that you would like to integrate in your life,

Even if you don't know how to do them?

Feel free to share in the chat and I will invite you if you don't want to share,

That's fine.

But make sure that you write them in your journal or somewhere where you can you can find them and remind yourself of what's important.

So Linda says,

In my late 50s,

I acquired a business and retirement home,

Early 60s health issues took over and now too many things piled up in business and personal life.

Yeah,

Linda,

Sorry to hear about those problems.

I hope that you can find a healthy way to transition out,

To transition into that different stage of your life.

Sometimes when we don't feel well physically,

Emotionally,

We have health issues.

It's a good idea to simplify as much as possible our life as much as we can.

I know it's a really hard process sometimes to let go of things that are really important to you.

But if your health is at stake and you just don't have the energy and you don't have the health to actually keep going at the same rhythm that you were before.

Health is always the first thing that we need to take care of and creating time and space for us to heal.

It's a,

It's probably the most important thing that we need to do.

So however that looks like to you,

However that can be facilitated,

You have the answers for that process.

So hopefully you can find a way to do it.

Thank you so much for sharing that.

And the next one says I deserve this time to sort.

Amazing.

Christina so many changes that I have known.

I need to make for a while.

Amazing Christina so I will invite you to write them down and I will invite you to,

To really get clear about how does that look like smiling from thoughts of progress.

Amazing Tony I love that.

We have a hammock outside near our tree position to see the red rock mountain.

I love that Amy,

I'm sure you're gonna have a great time,

Every time you lay down in that hammock,

Working on daily planning in retirement and organized spaces in the house.

Beautiful.

So you are transitioning john into retirement now.

And you are thinking about what do I want my life to look like in retirement is very exciting,

And you guys to serve people who are retiring you work so hard for retirement.

So you guys to serve this time to enjoy life,

And to what you couldn't do before,

Or whatever you feel like doing.

Christina says,

Also,

Things that I have changed in health and work that I could be celebrating better.

And also a chance that was specifically mentioned in writing in my journal,

Which I have lately been thinking about a lot.

So it was nice to hear that mentioned.

Amazing Christina.

So,

This is what happens when you allow yourself to do a little practice,

Honestly,

Even 30 seconds to a minute of silence and time with yourself can help you recognize,

Wow that's important for me.

I really need to spend time doing that.

I really need to make that change.

I really need to remind myself of this because it's important,

And I don't want the business of life to get on the way.

So,

I am happy to share with you guys.

This is what I did the other day to bring clarity and this is something that I share with you many times.

This is a brain dump and a mind map.

Okay,

It's a,

It's both combined.

So basically,

The other day I was feeling a bit overwhelmed,

And I was,

I was really working towards how can I bring a bit more clarity into my month.

I was focusing on this month and I have a lot of competing priorities,

And I was finding that I was coming to this studio that I have in the backyard.

And I wasn't feeling that things were flowing easily.

And then I was thinking about what are my intentions and how can I make progress in all these things that are important to me in a way that feels healthy in a way that that is not overwhelming.

And in a way that I know I'm making progress with each thing that is important for me,

Or I prioritize the ones that I want to finish first.

So I did this,

I started by doing a brain dump of the main key ideas.

And basically the main key ideas that I had are,

I'm transitioning my courses from one platform to another.

So there are a lot of steps in there.

I need to finish my Executive Functioning Skills course for you guys.

I am creating new audio content that is shorter version five to 10-15 minutes.

And then I want to spend time with Eva and I'm gonna do,

I want to do science experiments.

I want to spend more time with Sam.

And I want to spend time with myself and I want to do like meditation.

I want to do a trip.

So I want to do a few things here.

So this is how I used.

I put these ideas in circles,

And then I started putting arrows down from each circle to help me understand what do I need to do.

Okay,

So in your case guys when you are trying to set new intentions,

And you are trying to create these changes,

Or you are trying to find ways to implement these changes or to maintain these changes,

It's really helpful if you do this.

For example,

Someone said,

I want to create a corner for my meditation practice.

So maybe meditation is the word that you use and then you make that work inside a circle.

And then from that circle,

You start thinking about what do I need to do what action is required from me to make that a reality.

So maybe one arrow is you put something down from that second is remind myself every day that this is something I want to do.

So maybe you go to your calendar and you set a daily reminder every day at a specific time,

I reminded is going to show up,

Reminding me.

Are you have you done anything about the meditation space that is important to you.

Maybe that's one step.

Second step,

Maybe you want to buy a specific figuring maybe you want to put a yoga mat,

Maybe you want to test it.

So that will be the next step.

So think about what is the next step for me to make this a reality.

And that's how you are going to start creating that that ritual.

Okay,

That ritual to maintain that change to integrate that change in your life.

That can be a very nice visual reminder of something that is important and you want to incorporate in your life.

Okay.

So,

Also when you are transitioning from life states to a different life state.

That's also,

Especially when your whole life is changing,

It's very important to kind of like create those intentions and separate them a little bit so that you understand.

Okay,

I want to do this with my with my meal planning,

I want to do this with my home,

I want to do this with my hobbies.

I want to do this with my relationships.

I want to start the site business and I always wanted to and I never had the time for.

So once you put everything in paper,

And then you can see visually the main intentions that you have,

It's easier for you to then prioritize,

Set reminders,

And really get clear about do I really have the time to do all these things.

And if the answer is yes,

How am I gonna plan my day and my week to integrate these things.

And you don't have to plan everything.

You don't need to plan your entire week if you don't want to.

You can have you,

You can have that mind map that bring them that is kind of visual in front of you.

And then you will look at this maybe once a day once every couple of days.

And then you can see how you are feeling today,

And then you will look at these ideas and you will remind yourself,

Oh yeah,

I really wanted to do these.

So,

Is today a good day.

And then once you start doing something,

And it repeats.

Maybe you start noticing that.

Wow,

I really enjoy meditating every morning,

When I wake up,

Or I really enjoy being creative in the middle of the day after lunch.

And I don't know why but it just feels really good.

So you will start noticing things,

And then you will start celebrating those awareness,

And then integrating that new,

Like a ritual in your life.

Okay,

So that's how sometimes these things start happening.

And I always tell you the same guys,

Start taking action,

Even if you don't know how to do it yet.

Always take the next step for you,

The next step that is accessible to you right now.

Just take that step,

Because sometimes when you take that next step,

And even if you have no idea what's next,

Taking that step and taking that action is going to allow for the rest to unfold for you.

You are going to start noticing.

Now I know what to do next.

But if you never take that first step,

Because you don't know everything else,

You will never know everything else,

And you will never allow yourself the time and the space to actually find out.

Okay,

So just keep in mind that if you are feeling overwhelmed,

If you are feeling frozen,

If you don't know how to move forward,

Just find what is my next available step to make,

To get closer to this idea,

To give this idea a try,

And then do that.

Okay,

Do that.

So David says I am overwhelmed,

I am moving in with my partner and having to get rid of almost all of my things.

I know it's overwhelming,

My anxiety is constant.

David,

That's a huge transition.

When you are moving with your partner.

There are so many moving pieces here right?

So,

If you guys are moving to a neutral place,

It's different than if you are moving to her place,

Or if she's moving to your place,

Because every place has some sort of energy.

But if you are moving to her place,

And you have to get rid of all your things and then you're going to live in her space.

Sometimes it's important to communicate boundaries,

Needs,

To really talk about how is this new stage of our lives going to unfold.

What do we need to feel well,

To feel welcomed,

To feel respected,

To feel encouraged to make these changes right?

And sometimes you need to find that compromise together.

It is normal that you are feeling overwhelmed,

It's a very overwhelming transition.

But I will invite you to think about what would you like to see happening from this transition?

What are the experiences that you want to get out of it?

How do you want to feel?

What do you want to create with your partner?

What kind of lifestyle are you envisioning?

And gaining clarity about that,

And maybe talking about this together with your partner.

It's really important to together build something.

And then once you have that clarity and confidence,

You are going to go back to looking at your things,

Physical things,

And you're going to have an easier time to decide.

Deciding,

I need to keep this,

I don't want this,

And always finding how much space do we have for plates,

For cups,

For calories,

For art,

For books,

And then what is the happy balance here?

So that's something that needs to happen.

And it will take some time for you guys to live together to start creating those rituals that will make your life more easily manageable.

And when we are talking about rituals and routines,

Sometimes those routines are shared.

Sometimes you are talking about routines,

Family routines,

Okay?

Things that you do together with your partner in this case,

Or with your children if you have children.

Another time is routines that you do with yourself,

Okay?

Another time is routines and rituals that you do with friends,

Or with co-workers.

So sometimes those routines and rituals are going to look different,

And different people are going to be involved in them.

So just be aware of that too.

Okay,

Be aware of that too.

Yeah,

So guys,

Do you want me to share some of the rituals that we do,

So that you can get some ideas and then maybe you can share some of the ones that you do?

Yeah?

Okay.

So,

For example,

Things that come to mind when looking at my life.

I think,

Okay,

So there are rituals and ceremonies that happen in the kitchen,

Okay?

Routines that happen in the kitchen.

So for example,

My wife and I have routines around dishes,

Routines around meal planning and cooking,

Okay?

We have routines around garbage.

Who is responsible for garbage?

Who is putting the garbage out?

So we have very clear routines that we have been doing for the past few years,

And they have worked really well for us.

It's time to establish them.

But again,

This is how we're moving together,

And then we started living life,

And then things started evolving,

And then we started to change what we wanted to do,

How much we want to cook.

And then it's always like a moving thing that keeps evolving.

But right now,

For example,

When it comes to cooking,

My wife cooks one day,

And then she takes care of the dishes that day.

The following day,

I do it,

Okay?

So that's the routine that we have around dishes and cooking.

When it comes to garbage,

I don't mind doing garbage,

So I do garbage once a week.

I make sure that I empty all the garbage bins from the house,

And I put it in the street so that to be taken,

And I make sure that everything is clean,

And I take care of the compost,

Okay?

My wife likes vacuuming,

So she vacuums the house normally once a week when it's dirty kind of thing,

Once a week,

Sometimes once every couple of weeks,

Sometimes twice a week,

Depending what's going on,

Right?

But that's the routine that she has,

And then she has a routine around.

She has a nice ceremony or ritual that she does.

She likes vacuuming when there is no one in the house.

She normally listens to music very loud,

And then she's just dancing to the music,

Vacuuming,

And then she cleans,

And then that's self-care time for her.

She says that she really enjoys doing that,

And she enjoys having an empty house when she's doing that.

So I try to facilitate that as much as I can,

And sometimes she says,

I'm going to vacuum this morning.

I say,

Okay,

I'm out of here.

Adios.

And I just go somewhere else.

So that's a nice ritual that she has and she enjoys.

Then looking at the,

Looking at Eva,

We have ceremonies around Eva.

So we have a calendar to understand who is in charge of Eva,

Who is picking her up from school,

Picking,

Dropping her,

Who is going to be doing bedtime,

Who's going to be feeding her.

So we have some sort of rituals and ceremonies that we repeat,

That they repeat weekly.

And that also helps my daughter understand what's going on,

Because children need to know what's happening.

It's easier for them to transition from task to task if they understand what's going on,

Right?

So we try to repeat.

That's another ceremony and ritual that we have.

We try to tell my daughter what's going on today,

What are we doing today,

What are we doing tomorrow,

Where are we going tomorrow,

And then we'll repeat that several times so that she understands and then it's not a shock.

She transitions easily,

She's excited,

And she understands what's happening.

So that's another ritual that we have.

When it comes to the bedroom,

We have different rituals there.

We have a no-phone ritual.

For example,

We make sure that we don't have the phones in the bedroom when we go to sleep.

We try not to look at the phone the last thing and the first thing in the morning.

So that's another ritual that we have and we respect and we created that together.

Okay?

So looking at finances,

For example,

We have a ritual,

We have a routine that happens once a month.

So once a month,

We close the month.

Basically,

We close the month for the business and we close the month for our personal finances.

And what that looks like is like during the month,

We have the routine of every time we pay for something,

We keep track of it.

We either keep a paper receipt or we write it on a piece of paper and we have a board where we pin all those receipts in there.

And then at the end of the month,

We will take all those receipts that we have separated them by categories.

We have groceries,

We have gasoline,

We have restaurants,

We have household and miscellaneous,

We have electricity,

Gas,

Hydro,

Stuff like that.

And then we will take those receipts and we will input them in a spreadsheet.

And that's how we know how we are doing.

Are we overspending?

Are we saving?

Where are we standing?

Okay,

And then we may have conversations if we need to tweak things around that.

So that's another ritual that we have.

That's a monthly ritual.

Okay,

So those are some examples.

I have a ritual with myself that I do these live sessions twice a week.

And they happen on Tuesdays and Thursdays,

Right?

So that's another ritual that I established.

I have a ritual that I volunteer every Monday morning,

And I go to a retirement home,

And I play board games with other people that live there.

And I have a ritual that I created in my week,

And I follow.

So as you see,

You can have rituals for many different areas of your life,

And you get to decide how that ritual or ceremony or routine looks like,

And how you want to change that as your life evolves.

Sometimes we have routines that are family routines.

Sometimes we like to go for a night walk before it even goes to bed.

So we all go as a family and we just go for a walk when it's dark.

And maybe we get an ice cream or we get a hot chocolate or we just go to the town square and just see people,

We go to the park.

So that's something that we do at least once a week.

So as you see,

There are so many different ceremonies and rituals that we follow in our life.

Some of them are individual,

Some of them are family,

Some of them.

.

.

I have a ritual with a friend that now he's working full time and he has less time,

But we used to have a weekly lunch date.

So once a week,

One time I will go to his house,

And then he will cook for me and we will share a meal and we will catch up.

The next time,

We will do it at my house,

And the next time we will go to a restaurant so we will kind of do that variety and I really liked it.

I also have a ritual of playing squash.

Every Tuesday night I play squash,

Every Thursday,

Today at lunchtime normally I go and play squash,

And I also have a men's circle that I am a part of,

And that happens every Thursday night.

So again,

These are some rituals and things that happen in my life.

I will be very happy to read your rituals if you have some,

Because I know that everybody has some kind of rituals,

Or the ones that you would like to create.

So,

Okay,

If I cook then my son clean up sometimes.

Amazing.

So a ritual that we have when we go to Samantha's parents for example,

They have the ritual,

The routine that whoever cooks doesn't clean.

So whoever makes the meal.

They don't have to clean up the kitchen,

And vice versa.

So that's a way that's how they do it so one person cooks and the other person cleans up,

And with the other person cooks,

The other person cleans up.

In my case with my wife,

We realized that if we want to have a night off.

And we do that that method,

It didn't work for us because that means that every day we are doing something,

And we really enjoy having one day off.

So one day I don't have to do anything meal related,

And no dishes,

No cooking,

Nothing,

Not even thinking about it.

And the following day I am in charge of everything because I am already in the kitchen.

So that worked for us better.

But again,

You can create whatever you want.

This is your,

Your thing.

Okay,

Amy says my fiance does the dishes every night.

He hates cooking and I love coming up with healthy super yummy recipes for both of us.

He would eat a frozen pizza,

Almost every night.

If I didn't cook.

This evolved through communication,

I felt hard.

The night,

He let me clean.

When I cooked.

It was hard for me to bring that up but now it's a non issue.

Amazing Amy Thank you so much for sharing that.

So you guys found your routine here your ceremony is you love cooking yummy and healthy meals,

And because he doesn't cook and he doesn't feel inspired to do that part.

He is willing to do the dishes,

And that's a great combination right and that's something at the end of the day.

The most important piece here is that everybody feels well in in this agreement.

Okay.

In your case,

Amy,

And your partner,

You find you find a happy balance here and you found something that you don't feel resentful about,

And he doesn't feel resentful about.

And that's,

That's the secret of finding a good ceremony when you are doing with other people.

Okay.

So how do you suggest discuss rituals with friends,

Example,

Lunch out.

So Maya.

I just asked for it,

I just saw if I want to do it I just say hey,

My friend's name is Danny I say hey Danny.

I would really love to see you once a week,

And I think,

Because we both have to have lunch,

And I am out and about pretty much every day.

So I don't mind coming to your home or meeting somewhere,

Having lunch and then we keep going with our day.

And then he said sure let's do it.

Now he was from home,

He has a full time job,

And he's not available during the week so we try to do weekend sometimes,

But it's not the same but that change and evolve.

But that's how you can just bring it up as an idea.

And then see if the person is interested.

I wake up and go for a walk every morning before I do anything else.

Amazing career.

I guess that you are finding that really helpful really healthy and it makes you feel well.

So that's a nice ritual to do every morning right.

And I'm sure when you are walking you are spending time with yourself.

Probably you are reflecting,

Or maybe you're listening to something,

Or maybe you are looking around.

So that's your,

Your time and that's,

That's beautiful.

So Kelly says I have meditation group on Tuesday and Thursday mornings,

Other mornings I meditate or listen to music on.

Amazing Kelly so you have,

You have a group that you have to show up for,

And I am sure that that helps you stay accountable to that.

And then the other days you just do the meditation by yourself.

So that's awesome.

I started part of Sundays to create my mini sculptors amazing Cecilia so you are an artist.

So you have that creative routine that happens on Sundays.

And,

And that's when you do that,

And that's amazing.

That's working for you.

I started a movie night on WhatsApp with my nephew.

I love it.

He made me a mug that says movie nights with at Amy.

Oh my god I love him so much.

That's so that's a,

That's such an amazing idea I love it.

So you created the ceremony with him.

Something special.

It happens online so if the stands or commuting is a problem.

You can just do it from your home.

And that that's really nice that's a very nice ceremony and ritual,

Something that we started doing with our neighbors because we used to play hearts in person during COVID.

We found this online version and then we will do a video call.

And then we will play through this application hat.

So we will still get together,

Not virtually not physically but it was a lot of fun,

And it made the night way more social and fun than just being by ourselves.

So yeah,

That's amazing.

Fridays are usually family movie night.

Amazing.

I love it.

It's nice because I remember my,

My wife told me that they always had Friday nights,

It was always.

They had a beautiful ceremony that was,

They will go to get some takeout food and then they will sit on the couch,

Everywhere,

Everyone will have their own table,

TV table and then they will sit in front of the TV and they will watch a movie,

All the family together.

Mom,

Dad,

Her brother and her and she had really fond memories of that,

Like Friday movie night right every week it was the same and everybody was looking forward.

They were excited to choose the movie.

And yeah that's that's a great ceremony.

Yeah,

We have a family movie and pizza night.

Amazing.

So some families they have a board game night that they love doing.

Yeah,

So as you see guys,

So you already have some of those ceremonies,

Some of those rituals.

And the work here is to keep evolving right as life changes as your needs change as your intentions change.

You just have to make sure that you change those routines,

Those rituals,

Those habits,

And you have to make sure that you create an environment that facilitates that,

The accountability that you need from other people,

The communication that you need to have with the people that are involved.

And sometimes,

Even if you're creating something for yourself,

Still the communication is necessary.

Because if you're,

If you're doing something by yourself,

You're creating a ceremony,

Maybe you want to meditate.

Maybe you want to do sculptures,

Maybe you want to read your book,

Maybe you want to work on that business or you want to do whatever,

And you live with a partner with flatmates,

It's important to let them know what you are doing.

And it's important that you communicate clearly,

Hey,

When I am there,

And you see me meditating,

Or you see me like working on my business or you see me doing this sculpture with headphones or listening to my music,

I will appreciate if you don't interrupt me,

I will appreciate if you respect that time,

Because that's my time and it's really valuable for me.

What do you think?

And then that way the other person doesn't feel weird or uncomfortable,

They know what's happening.

They know what's going on.

And this is something that is very necessary,

Especially with couples.

I do this with my wife so many times,

Because sometimes we are home together but I don't know if she's expecting anything from me,

Or if she's expecting anything from me.

So we make it very clear and say,

Hey,

What are you doing tonight?

She said,

Tonight is my night.

I don't want to do anything together.

I want to read my book,

And I want to take a bath,

And I don't want to have to do anything with you tonight so I just want to be by myself.

Okay,

Fine.

So I know that it's my night too.

So even if we are in the same space,

Even if we're in the house still together,

I am not expecting anything from her,

And it's clear,

It doesn't feel weird.

It's not,

It's just clear right?

And I know what she's doing.

She knows what I'm doing.

And if she needs time alone and she wants me out of the house she will tell me,

Hey Emilio you want to go and play some squash tonight?

I just want to be alone in the house or you want to go to the tiny office?

So,

Yeah,

It's a,

It's really important.

So Maya,

How far in advance do you decide alone time?

I don't know like,

It depends.

Sometimes it's the day off if we need it.

Sometimes,

That's something that we don't really plan to see,

I'm going to be alone on Tuesday nights like sometimes she just feels maybe drained from the day or maybe she says like,

I just don't want to do anything tonight.

And I just want to finish this book because I love this book and so she just say hey Emilio I'm just gonna read my book,

So you do your own thing.

Okay.

And I say fine,

Or sometimes it's the opposite.

I say hey you want to have a date tonight I have a movie I would like to watch,

Are you free,

And then maybe we just get together and watch the movie.

I think at the end of the day,

What's important is that everybody feels comfortable,

Everybody knows what's going on,

And you eliminate any frustrations and any resentment that can appear.

Okay.

So that's why it's so important to sometimes to communicate.

To just name what you need.

Okay.

The next one is I want to have more of a morning routine for myself but I am responsible for packing lunch and getting our son to school in the summit,

I am more in control of my own routine.

Yeah.

I also have to be responsible for my daughter some days.

So,

Having a morning routine is not realistic if I am with her.

So,

It's either I have to get up earlier and do it earlier,

Or I have to do it after.

But when I'm with her I know that I have to play with her,

I have to get her dress,

I have to walk her to school.

So I try to create a routine that I feel well doing with her sometimes sometimes I do something fun.

I have my coffee with her while she's having breakfast,

Maybe sometimes I jack on my watch while she's getting ready.

Sometimes this morning we went to school with electric scooter and she was in the backpack and we just had an adventure together.

Yeah,

Sometimes,

Again,

Like,

That's a responsibility that they have to fulfill right so sometimes if I want to meditate.

And she's there.

Sometimes I do it and then I say,

Eva,

I'm going to meditate for five minutes.

Okay.

And I just sit there and then she knows what I'm doing.

And she doesn't back me that much.

But of course I have to pay attention to her so I won't have complete quiet time.

But I am showing her I am modeling for her,

What relaxing and meditation looks like so that is not weird.

And sometimes she says,

Papi I'm relaxing,

I need a long time.

So,

Yeah,

So make,

Make sure that maybe that morning ritual.

Maybe can happen before they get up.

Like I have a hard time getting up really early in the morning I don't like it.

So that's not really doable for me I don't want to do that.

But maybe you are a morning person.

Communication seems to be the key.

Yeah,

Cecilia communication is really the key for when you live with someone right.

If you live alone,

You don't have to communicate with people.

But if you live with people with your partner with children with flatmates.

And you have routines and you want to protect the time you want to be intentional you want to avoid distractions,

And you want to make people feel more comfortable and be able to support each other more.

It's really healthy to talk about these things because when you tell someone Hey,

I have created this ceremony,

And I am going to try to every morning when I get up,

I want to sit in that corner and I want to meditate for 20 minutes,

And I will really appreciate if you support me if you remind me if you help me wake up.

And if you respect that time and you don't interrupt me,

And maybe you take care of Eva when I'm doing it.

So,

That's way more empowering for that person because that person understands what's happening that person understands how to support you.

And it is a choice to do it or not but most likely they will do it because they love you.

And they want to support you.

And then you can also ask them like,

Hey,

Is that a specific routine or ceremony that you are trying to create that I can support you with.

And then all the sudden this becomes this nurturing communication that the other person has the opportunity to think about this idea of it.

Huh,

I didn't,

I didn't think about that but actually let me think about it because maybe I can create one for me to that sounds inspiring.

And maybe that person creates a routine and then they tell you,

Hey,

I am planning to go for a walk every morning or I'm planning to do these.

And then you can support them that way.

So yeah,

Communication is clearly very very important.

Amazing.

So Amy says we'll talk about starting a ritual to call family on Sunday nights my dad has a same age,

And it's painful to talk to him,

So the ritual will be will help me show up.

Amazing Amy that that's great.

That's that's great.

Alright so,

So this is what I have for you today.

Yeah,

Amy say sorry to repeat my nephew was in a school shooting.

My sister didn't talk to him about trauma.

I know he'll feel comfortable coming to me about anything,

Or from this movie ritual.

Amazing Amy.

Absolutely guys when you have,

When you create a ritual.

When you create a routine with someone that person is going to feel more comfortable sharing things with you because you just spend more time with them right.

So,

When I see my friend Danny for example once a week.

We have the opportunity to catch up we have the opportunity to share what's going on.

And then we have the opportunity to ask a how was that thing that you shared with me last week,

How is that going.

There is an ongoing relationship that gets deeper and deeper right you are nurturing that communication.

So that that helps that it repeats often.

When I don't see him for a few weeks,

We feel a bit more disconnected because it's like wow like,

What have you done I have no idea.

It's been like a month since I saw you last time.

So it just takes longer to catch up,

And you cannot go as deeper as you can go if you see yourself.

Every week.

So absolutely Amy if you are seeing your nephew,

And you're doing something fun with him,

You will have more opportunities to like talk to like create space for him to let him share whatever he needs to share.

And because he sees you every week he's gonna feel more,

More comfortable.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

So you can be that support for him too.

That's beautiful.

So guys,

This is a,

Again this session is coming out of my course creating your peaceful and clutter free home.

In that course I have you how to create how to connect with your intention first and then how to create the physical home that the environment that you need to make your new lifestyle,

A reality the changes that you want to create the new activities that you want to do,

And also tackling all the emotions that are coming along this journey.

And once you have done that work.

It's very important to start maintaining,

And that's when all these ceremonies routines rituals come into place.

And when your life transitions into a different stage.

That's also a great opportunity to reassess what's needed here.

What changes do I need to do.

And how can I tweak or how can I change my rituals and ceremonies and read and routines to make sure that I am creating what I need to create for this new lifestyle.

Okay.

So john says this session has really opened up many new ideas.

Thank you Emilio Thank you so much john.

Thank you so much for being here.

So,

Thank you guys so much for being here today.

I hope that you got value from this session.

Again,

I feel that for those of you who may be feeling overwhelmed.

Maybe you don't have the clarity on how to move forward.

Always reach for the next available step that you have access to right now.

Okay,

Don't try to understand,

And don't try to like create a plan for everything.

Just think about what is the idea that I want to implement here,

What is the idea that I want to explore.

And just take the next step,

Maybe that step is just allow yourself a little bit of time to test it with no expectations.

Just do it just for a minute,

Even,

Even if you do it for a minute it's more than nothing right,

You will notice how you feel,

And then you will then start creating something and adjusting it and tweaking it and testing it again.

And then the next step will show up for you I promise it will,

But you have to start taking the action and just take the next action that seems reasonable that seems aligned with you,

That seems exciting to you.

Okay,

And then start the journey,

And then everything else will start unfolding,

As you start taking action.

Okay.

Yeah,

Emilio thank you so much I didn't realize how powerful these rituals are in relationships until today.

I will preserve and protect that time now.

Yeah,

Amy,

At the end of the day,

Relationships are formed by you spending time with another person.

You create rituals and ceremonies,

And you make them fun,

And you make them excited,

Exciting for both people,

And you create a safe place to communicate to tweak to understand each other's needs and wants,

Like,

Nothing ugly can come out of there,

Something beautiful is going to start forming there.

It's like a garden that you are every time,

Every week you are going to that garden you are like feeding the soil you are watering you are weaving you are like taking care of all the plants that are growing in there like everything is going to bloom because the environment is becoming better and better is the same with relationships.

Okay.

Awesome.

So guys,

Thank you so much for being here today.

Really,

Really appreciate your,

Your presence.

Let's do a practice to get out of the session.

I invite you to close your eyes.

Take a couple of deep breaths and integrate integrate the ideas that we have talked about today.

Integrate them in your life.

Integrate them in your awareness.

Just reflect about what's next for me.

Okay.

What is the next step for me.

Okay.

Okay guys have a wonderful rest of your day.

And have an amazing weekend too.

Okay.

I will see you in the next live session.

Most likely next week but I'm contemplating maybe taking the week off,

Because I want to finish the course and I want to work on other things.

So I'm still thinking about if I will do sessions next week or maybe I take the week off,

So I will let you know in the circle.

Okay.

Amazing guys.

Adios.