Being The Best Version Of You

Welcome to Life,

Lessons,

And Laughter with your host Glenn Ambrose.

Hello welcome to.

.

.

What's the show?

Life,

Lessons,

And Laughter.

No,

No,

The title of this episode is where I was going.

Being.

.

.

Alive?

No,

The best.

.

.

Version.

.

.

Of yourself.

Yeah,

I like what we did there.

We finished each other's sentences.

Yeah,

It's like we're twins.

Yes,

We do have the same shirt.

Oh yeah,

We're just.

.

.

Neither one of us is wearing it.

It's also not the Great Love Project shirt.

Right,

Yeah.

That's true.

Lots of people have that shirt.

So yeah,

What we're talking about is the concept that you are the best version of yourself that you've ever been.

What do you think about that,

Dave D'Angeles?

I think that that's a good point that you made.

That's a good point.

I concur.

I concur wholeheartedly.

So wait,

Are you saying that.

.

.

Is the point of this podcast being the best version of yourself or that you already are the best version of yourself?

Or is it how do you get to be the best version of yourself?

Or is it when were you the best version of yourself?

Or is it.

.

.

I don't have it.

Covered all the options.

I was going to let you guys go.

I bailed.

Yeah,

Just burn out as long as it took.

So the podcast is about the concept that you already are the best version of yourself.

That was the mind being blown right there.

So this concept is that at this point in time,

You have more experience,

Knowledge,

Growth than you've ever had previously in your life.

So therefore.

.

.

By default.

Yeah,

You have to.

Yeah.

You've experienced more things than you've ever experienced.

So if you choose to use them for good,

Then you are the best version of yourself that you've ever been.

We're already yawning,

Ben.

What if we chose.

.

.

Sorry.

He's so bored.

What if we choose to use them for evil?

Well then you'd be the worst version of yourself because then you're using it for bad.

But you have more knowledge.

But either way,

We are the most capable versions of ourselves.

Yes,

The most advanced version of yourself.

You are the latest model.

The latest and greatest version.

So at this point,

You are like the.

.

.

What's the iPods at now?

Well,

They're iPhones.

Well,

They have iPods too,

Don't they?

Do they still have iPods?

Yeah,

They have the iPod Touch still,

I think.

Well,

Let's go with the iPhones though,

Like you just brought up.

So what version are they on?

We're coming up on the 7,

Baby.

Coming up on 7.

I'm excited.

So you already.

.

.

But currently,

The 6 is the latest and the 6S.

I have the 6S.

Okay,

So if that's the latest and greatest.

.

.

Sounds like success.

I have the iPhone 6S.

Then we're the 6S?

You are the 6S at this.

.

.

Have we found success with the 6S?

And you're growing.

No.

Good night,

Everybody.

That depends if you're using it for good or bad.

But you're on your way to the 7.

I'm the angel on your shoulder and Dave is the devil.

We're on our way to the 7.

Get rid of that headphone,

Jack,

Baby.

All right.

That's upsetting.

That sucks.

Yeah.

What are you doing,

Apple?

Well,

See,

And that's because different people have different thoughts about what should be the best.

That's why you're your own best and Dave's his own best.

I'm my own best.

Okay.

Because there's different versions of it.

Apple's its own best and their own best is apparently removing the headphone jack,

Which I don't know how that works with PayPal here or Square,

But whatever.

It's their call,

Man.

It ain't my call.

Or aux cords or.

.

.

Ugh.

Anyway,

Let's go.

.

.

This is derailing and making me upset now with headphone jacks.

So how do you use the fact that you're the best version of yourself right now?

At this very moment?

Well,

First,

Acknowledging it,

Really.

Just to stop for a moment and understand the truth of it.

The truth that there's been no better time in your entire life where you've been more capable of doing whatever you wanted to do.

That's insane.

That's a big deal.

And you can also apply it to the failures of the past.

Well,

In the past,

You weren't the same person you are now.

You weren't as capable.

So you were more apt to fail in the past than you are now.

And you can use anything for evidence of that.

Whatever people have done,

They failed before they succeeded.

So they failed and then they became more capable and then they succeeded.

Right?

Yeah.

What's the wheels turning?

What if you're not more capable now?

But you are.

Okay,

Let's play hypothetically.

If you're.

.

.

To do whatever you want to do.

For example,

I knew this girl in high school that was really good at softball.

She was very talented at softball.

She wanted to play softball in college.

End of senior year,

Boom,

Ruins her knee.

She's not more capable now of becoming a professional softball player than she was then.

Well,

Quite possibly not.

Let's just assume.

.

.

Also,

If she's out there,

I'd like some information on her.

I've been trying to look for her for years and I'm pretty sure she's dead.

Well,

Let's just assume.

.

.

I'm at high now.

That's a true story.

We don't know where she is.

Well,

Let's just assume that she is no longer capable of being a softball player.

I thought you were going to say with us and I was like,

How dare you?

That doesn't mean her evolution as a person stops.

Quite often when people are going in a direction that's not the best for them,

That stuff does happen.

Then it opens them up to being a better version of themselves in other ways.

A lot of times,

Look at all the motivational speakers and stuff.

A lot of motivational speakers have gone through difficulty,

Have hit professionals in sports and then all of a sudden got caught up in drugs or blew out a knee or something like that and then they become motivational speakers.

It's difficult to be a motivational speaker if you're depressed.

That's why no one's showing up to my events.

Note to self,

Be happier.

If you're depressed,

You're not going to be able to motivate somebody else.

That means these people have found a way to find happiness and motivation within themselves beyond what they're physically capable of doing.

Therefore they can become a better version of themselves.

A lot of times we get hung up on things going what we perceive as wrong in our lives and go,

Oh,

I blew out my knee.

That's wrong and now I can't be what I want to be.

Maybe you just thought you wanted to be the wrong thing.

Maybe God had a bigger plan for you.

The people who embrace that are the ones and start looking.

When one door closes,

If you keep staring at that door that's closed,

You're not going to go very far.

If you start looking around for other doors that are opening,

They can lead you to being more of yourself and a better version of yourself.

Take that.

How do you use the knowledge if you accept the fact that you're the best version of yourself that you've ever been at this moment?

Do you accept that,

Dave?

No.

Dave,

Scale of one to a hundred,

What is the percent that you.

.

.

I guess I didn't have to say scale.

What is the percent that you agree that you are the best version of yourself right now?

50.

That's actually higher than I thought it was going to be.

You're kind of on the fence.

Kind of 50% kind of thinks that you might be the best version.

50% says,

No,

That's crap.

Yeah.

I think that in some areas I'm in a lot better place and in some areas I still need to just.

.

.

I need to finish it up.

That's the other 50%.

50% I think it's.

.

.

Yeah,

You're getting there,

But you got half of what you already had to do to complete the goal of getting to the best version of yourself.

Yeah.

There's always a better version.

Tomorrow I'll be a better version than I am today.

Was that the whole point?

Yeah.

Yeah,

Basically it's just to continue growing and it- Being the best version of yourself is relative and is ever changing?

It is.

It's ever changing and it's just.

.

.

To me the best version of yourself is all based in peace and happiness.

Right.

That's why I'm only 50% there.

Yeah.

If you're not peaceful and you're not happy,

Then you're using your past for the wrong reasons.

Wow.

That's what you think.

You're using the past to hold you back as opposed to move you forward.

But 50% is pretty good,

Man.

Maybe I overshot it.

Can I retract that statement?

20,

20%.

20.

I'll give you a.

.

.

How about 35?

I would love to say.

.

.

I was going to say 35 actually.

Wow.

I was like,

Let's bump it up a little bit.

I don't want to get to 40 though.

I was surprised because I was going to say that I'm probably 50% in agreeance that I'm the best version that I could be of myself right now.

Well,

You're the best version that you are.

You're the most capable.

Oh,

So not that you could be.

No,

Not that you could be.

I have no idea where I'm going.

It's not a scale of what you could be because right now,

I can't even fathom what I could be.

I couldn't say like right now I'm 50% or 75% of where I'm going.

I have no idea.

I could be at 4% right now of where I'm going.

I have no idea what the future holds.

They say we'll use 10% of our brains.

Yeah,

That doesn't.

.

.

I think we'll use 10% of our hearts.

Yeah,

I bet you're right.

Does that go back to the girl that I'm trying to find?

Because we bonded over watching wedding crashes.

By the way,

Just to clarify,

When we said that that girl was missing,

She's not like on a milk carton missing.

I don't know that.

I haven't heard anything about her.

Alaina,

If you're out there.

Oh my God.

I won't say her last name.

Good.

We're going to have to edit this.

No,

We're not even halfway in.

We need all the time we have.

The first edit ever.

It would be the second.

Second.

Yeah,

The first one was when we were laughing,

Right?

Yes.

Laughing.

Do you remember which one that was on?

No.

You're laughing so hard.

I don't remember what it was on.

Staying stuck.

Yeah.

I think it was.

.

.

Avoiding the urge to stay stuck,

I think.

Yes,

That's what it was.

And we're laughing so hard,

We had to stop.

Yeah,

That was a good time.

That was good.

So being the best version of yourself,

The most capable version of yourself,

If you use your past for what it's there for,

To learn from and move yourself forward,

Then you are the most capable.

The first aspect of implementing that is really swallowing it,

Really understanding the truth of it and just settling into it.

Just going like,

Okay,

Well,

Theoretically,

Yeah.

Somebody who's taking math and they're trying to learn division,

They're going to be more capable of learning division if they've learned addition and subtraction first.

That's why it was so hard for me because I never learned addition and subtraction.

So if you jump right in at division,

That's a big undertaking,

Man.

It felt like I was jumping in and I had gone to school before that,

But it felt like impossible.

Don't get Dave started about math.

If you want him to be stuck at 35% thinking that he's the best version of himself,

Do not get him on math.

Okay,

So actually that's a good point.

I understand what Glenn was saying.

Well,

Let's talk about something that you are.

What aspect of your life,

Dave,

And then we'll go to Ben,

What aspect of your life do you feel that you are the best version of yourself in?

Would it be singing or performing or.

.

.

Nope,

Not even there because there are plenty of things that I could be doing differently or more of.

Well,

Right,

But I.

.

.

So it's not really the best.

But the most capable of.

Not the best that you could be,

The best that you've ever been.

Oh,

Then yes.

Yes,

I'm definitely the best I am now that I've ever been at performing and singing.

Okay,

So that is.

.

.

Definitely.

And the reason you are,

I would venture to say,

Is that you're using your past to learn from and evolve.

That might be one area of my life where I actually do use that the right way.

Where I use what I've learned for good.

Yeah.

That's it.

So that's the big difference.

Because I really believe in it.

In what I'm doing.

So that's why it's easy for me to do that for that area.

Yes,

And we always want to start with our successes.

So I mean,

Start where you're having success,

Where you're doing things right,

And then try to see in other areas of our lives how we can implement that same idea,

That same way of doing things.

Because the way of doing things is,

If that's right,

If it works in one area,

It should work in another area.

So what's an area of your life that you're not doing that with?

A lot of things.

So even if you want to keep it vague,

Do you feel that if you used your past to learn from instead of beating yourself up over it,

Do you think that it would benefit you?

Yeah,

It would.

If I could find a way to do that.

Beautiful.

That wasn't very difficult for me.

Well that's,

You know,

Honestly that's the biggest piece.

You just got the biggest piece.

The biggest piece is just understanding how it works.

It's just looking at it and going,

Okay,

Well in this area of my life I'm having success because I'm learning from my past.

And I could see how I could possibly have success in other areas of my life if I did the same thing in those areas.

That's really it.

I mean,

Then it's just kind of trying to find,

Once you can wrap your brain around that and it's logical and it makes sense and it clicks,

It's like,

Yeah,

Okay,

Well I can comprehend how that could work.

Then it's just a matter of experimenting and trying it,

You know,

Trying to implement it.

How about you,

Ben?

What are you the best version of yourself at?

I don't know what I would be the best version.

That's not true.

I don't know.

I think that I'm worse at some stuff right now than I was in the past.

Like I don't know.

I think that I need more focus on stuff.

That's not the question.

I don't think that I'm the best,

But I don't think that I've.

.

.

So you fell in the same trap Dave did.

You're doing the exact same thing that I did.

You're thinking about I need to do more.

That's not what this question is.

I don't think that I'm as good at some things right now as I used to be.

Dude,

You have a business that you didn't have before because you've gotten better at things.

You and I have discussed this specifically,

So I don't know what the hell you're talking about.

Right.

So in your business,

Do you think that today you are more capable than you were a year ago?

I think that I am more capable of speaking to people.

I think that communication.

.

.

Oh,

Because that's not the most important thing of business.

I think that communication,

Speaking and public speaking,

I think I'm better at.

Okay.

So why are you better at it?

Practice.

Yeah.

You've done it before.

Actually having to get out and do it all the time.

Well there you go.

That's another good.

.

.

See,

This is interesting because Dave's was kind of getting the concept behind what we're talking about.

Then we move over to you and with you,

It's actually implementing it.

You've seen.

.

.

This is how you've implemented it.

How you've grown is by going out there and doing it.

Right.

I think that the thing that's getting me caught up is that I think that I've focused so much on that that I think that I'm not as good as I used to be on some things that I haven't done in a while.

But that just means that.

.

.

You had used the word focused earlier.

That just means you need to put a little focus over there.

It doesn't mean that you're worse at it.

It doesn't mean you're less capable of doing it.

It just means that your attention isn't on it.

Therefore,

With my business,

Sometimes if I don't input my accounting for two weeks because I get caught up doing other stuff,

That doesn't mean I'm less capable of doing accounting.

It just means that I didn't do that.

I didn't put some of that focus onto the accounting aspect of my business.

I need to put more focus there and bring in a little bit of balance.

But it doesn't mean I'm less capable of it.

With your business,

You're more capable of the business aspect,

Which includes public speaking and interacting with people and speaking.

So what was the.

.

.

There's also other areas.

Oh yeah.

There's lots of other areas.

He's gotten better at organization,

Delegating.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm sure there's a lot of different things.

There's a lot of things that he's.

.

.

I mean,

I could say the same thing for me.

There are plenty of things that I've gotten worse at because I haven't put any attention to it.

So that's what happens.

Yeah.

And it doesn't.

.

.

Right.

And I think it's just.

.

.

It doesn't mean you can't do it again.

Exactly.

It's just the wording.

I think that ironically,

The stuff that I.

.

.

Not that Dave and I do the exact same thing,

But the stuff that I feel like I've deteriorated in a little bit and need to get back to where I was is the actual art stuff of what I do.

I haven't written in a long time.

I haven't directed anything challenging.

You feel like you've gotten too business oriented that you've gotten away from the creative aspect.

Right.

Right.

So that's just shifting focus.

But to be clear,

This is important because what you're saying is part of the thing that's holding you back.

The words you're choosing,

You keep choosing the words that I've deteriorated at it.

I'm not good at it.

Like you haven't deteriorated.

When you said deteriorated,

I thought you were going to say that I've kind of moved away from it.

And you were just like,

No,

Deteriorated.

You haven't become a worse writer.

You just haven't written.

There's a huge difference.

That's night and day.

It's basically impossible to become a worse writer through experience.

Just being alive longer makes you a better writer because you have more experience.

You have more things to write about.

That's kind of how it is with everything.

We don't give ourselves credit a lot of times for just being alive.

Just by our everyday things,

We are constantly problem solving,

Figuring out ways to do things and becoming better versions of ourselves.

But we never slow down for a moment to look at that and go,

Holy cow,

I'm actually a better version of myself than I've ever been.

Ever.

I'm more capable than I've ever been.

And then using that fact because the way that I'm talking about it,

Dave even agreed with me.

Dave got the concept.

He agreed that the concept has truth to it.

If you take that truth to that concept and use that as fuel or a motivating factor to say,

Hey,

Maybe I can do other things because I have done it here and the concept makes sense so I'll just mess around and try it in other areas,

That can be a motivating factor for us to do stuff.

If we don't slow down and look at this and play around with the concept,

Then we just walk around through life.

Well,

I'm not happy where I am.

I don't like this and I don't like that.

And then we use all that information that's around us in our present moment to try to keep us there.

I was thinking about this yesterday,

Literally,

That for a lot of people,

I think including me definitely,

It's very hard to acknowledge any accomplishment or acknowledge any good thing.

If someone was to say to me,

Oh,

You do this,

And it's like,

No,

I don't.

It just bothers us off.

You can pick anything I do.

And I'm like,

I don't really do that because in my mind,

I'm a fake.

I don't know what I'm doing and it's not the right way to do it.

And like,

Oh,

It's not real.

But then you find out that everyone is doing that.

Yes.

Yeah.

So you just can't accept that you are doing this.

Right.

We compare our insides to everybody else's outsides.

We look at everybody else and we go,

Oh,

They know what they're doing and they're good and all this stuff.

And then on the inside,

We have our own insecurities and we're not sure and all that stuff.

And we're like,

Well,

They must not be like that.

No,

They are.

Yeah.

You know,

Everybody is.

That's like when I,

The more I get into life coaching,

The easier it is because the more I understand that all of us are the same.

We're all battling the same demons.

And I don't care if it's an alcoholic drug addict or somebody who's wondering how to get a raise at work and every other aspect of their life is fine.

It's the same stuff.

It's the exact same stuff.

So we can work through all of it.

But it's like,

You know,

It's like when you were talking,

I got like a Superman visual.

You know,

When somebody throws compliments at us,

It's like with a man of steel and it just bounces off of us.

Oh yeah.

You know,

Nothing can penetrate us.

But then if somebody throws a criticism,

Then it's like kryptonite and it goes right through and just immobilizes us completely.

You know,

It's like it goes right into our heart.

And it just,

And you know,

And I heard that years ago and I identified when I was a kid,

I identified with that.

It was like,

You know,

We are our own worst critics.

We don't allow positivity to come in.

But boy,

If somebody throws a criticism at you,

It goes right into your heart and you carry that around for fricking 20 years.

I think that my biggest problem recently has been not slowing down.

And then not only did I not slow down to look at that stuff,

But then also I did let every single criticism in.

So for the past three months,

Right,

We moved into the house in March,

Right?

The first like day or two that I've had to just hang out at home has been like the last couple of days since we moved in.

And I,

So I was busy doing all of the stuff for the business that I've been doing,

But then also natural criticisms that have happened along the way of stuff that has happened or like things that are,

You know,

Any,

Any negative,

Any little negative,

I just completely focused on and let it take over.

You know what I mean?

So not only was I going really fast from thing to thing to thing,

But then also I was only focusing on the negative.

And that's probably been the entire first six months of the year.

That's why slowing down is so important and looking at this stuff.

It's you know,

It's that oftentimes when we don't have a lot of things going on in life,

It's like,

Oh,

Well,

That's not the best time to do things because I'm not really motivated.

And then when we have too much going on in life,

Well,

That's not the best time because I'm doing too much.

It's like we always have an excuse not to not to look at ourselves and start doing the work.

But you know,

There is no good time.

So,

So we need to life is what happens when we're busy doing other things,

You know,

So we need to start wherever we are now and just slow down and look at this stuff.

And because if you,

You know,

We just had a conversation here that's,

You know,

Less than a half an hour,

And it slowed you down enough to where you looked and went,

Oh,

You know what,

I see where I was really busy and I wasn't,

You know,

I was just moving too quickly and I wasn't looking at things realistically.

And all the negative was coming in and I hung on to that,

But I wasn't,

You know,

Appreciating the positive.

Yeah,

Congratulations.

You saw it,

You know,

You know,

It's cool.

You know,

It's something that Ben's doing exactly is the same thing that I was,

I want to expand on what I was saying earlier because I thought of a specific example because I was just saying doing things.

I'm so negative and so self critical.

If you were to tell me,

Oh,

You're a wedding DJ,

I'd go,

No,

I'm not.

I've never DJed a wedding.

And I'm like,

Wait a minute.

I've DJed like 50 weddings.

But like in my head,

I don't believe I am a wedding DJ.

Right.

You know what I mean?

And that's the same thing for Ben,

I think.

Like you could tell him you do something that he definitively does and he's like,

In his head he's like,

No,

No,

I can't.

That's not me.

And cause you literally don't,

It's the same thing of like,

What are you doing in your life?

And I always go,

Oh,

Nothing.

And it's like,

That's not true.

No,

It's not.

But like in my head,

I believe it's nothing cause I'm that negative and that self critical.

You know?

Right.

And I think that's insane.

It is.

To think like that.

It is.

That's exactly what it is.

It's,

You know,

And like,

And it is insane because it's not sane thinking.

You know,

It doesn't mean,

Doesn't mean just because we have a portion of us ourselves that's insane,

That's not thinking sanely,

Doesn't mean we're completely insane,

Need to be in a hospital.

It just means that there's a part of us that we're thinking about that isn't sane thinking.

And that's,

But that is,

You know,

The old adage,

You've got a good,

Good dog and a bad dog and they're fighting.

Who's going to win?

Whichever one you feed more.

You know?

So that's,

That's what happens.

If we allow ourselves to take in the negative food and just keep feeding ourselves negative food and dwelling on the negative food,

Then that part of ourselves is going to grow and it's going to grow to the point where we're insane.

We can't even logically make sense of the thoughts that we have in our own heads,

You know?

But then we'll wave the flag that,

You know,

Anybody that talks Pollyanna is full of crap.

Well,

Yeah,

But the Pollyanna person could make actual sense.

You know,

Whereas the negative person just bats away anything that's good to try to prove a point.

You know,

So it's,

That's,

But that's the beginning of the shift.

Just honestly looking at it.

Because I mean,

I've lived negatively.

I've been depressed.

I've walked through life in that energy.

And to be able to walk in that energy for long periods of time,

You need to rationalize truth away.

You need to be able to lie to yourself.

You need to be able to believe lies.

So when you slow down and actually start looking at this stuff and understanding that you aren't this brave soul that's really looking at life truthfully and all the happy people are full of crap that you're actually lying to yourself.

When you start actually seeing that,

There's just this little,

For me,

It was just this little spark of hope that opened up that maybe,

I still don't believe it,

But maybe,

Just maybe there is happiness to have.

And I'm really not doing anything fun anyway.

So I'll walk in that direction.

You know?

Like,

What do I have to lose?

You know,

When somebody actually explained that to me,

They're like,

What are you fighting so hard to hold on to?

You're misery for.

Why you argue with me to prove that you have to be miserable?

Why do you want to be miserable so bad?

Oh,

Well,

I don't.

It's just the reality of things.

Baloney.

I fought tooth and nail to prove how miserable I was.

And it took a lot of energy to keep me there.

So when I saw that little spark of hope and was like,

OK,

Realistically,

It's not really going to hurt me if I walk in the direction of it and just see what happens.

And I started walking in the direction of it,

And then I like it bigger and bigger and bigger.

And eventually,

Somebody flipped on the switch.

And I was like,

Oh my god,

I was so full of crap.

You know?

But that's how I got there.

That was part of my journey going there.

And it all started with slowing down for a minute and going,

OK,

Let's have a realistic conversation about this and really look at it.

Figure out what the truth is and then try to live truthfully.

You know,

Stop BSing myself.

It was amazing.

I like this episode.

I did,

Too.

Yeah.

It was good.

It was a good dynamic with the three of us.

Yeah.

Happy Fourth of July,

Everybody,

Coming up next week.

This is what Ben does.

Like half the time,

Dave is focused on the sound of the recording,

So he's not in on it.

Ben is usually in on it.

But there's a portion of his consciousness that is spending all its time trying to figure out how he can make the outside world believe that we've recorded this at a time other than when we actually recorded it.

It's just like that's like his biggest thing in life.

That's my biggest thing in life.

Yes.

In your entire life.

I'm going to figure out some like I think he wants to build like a time machine or something.

Are you a big fan of Back to the Future?

Yeah.

See,

Well,

First of all,

I was wrong.

It's a week and a half away until the Fourth of July or a week and a day.

Here comes the math.

It's June 26th today.

So then this comes out on blah,

Blah,

Blah.

So let's.

.

.

Hey,

Everyone,

Hope you enjoy the fireworks this weekend.

GreatLoveProject.

Com,

TheGreatLoveProject.

Com.

What's the other one?

Glenn-No,

Life-Enhancement-Services.

Com.

Glenn-Glenn-Glenn-Ambrylmo.

Follow us on Twitter,

Like us on Facebook.

HappyInTheMoonshine.

Com.

TheaterScrapbook.

Com.

Smile.

And the world smiles with you.

When is this going to come out the week before July 1st?

Somebody try B440Productions.

Com.

See if that's up.

Probably not.

Probably not.

Oh my God.

All right.

Happy Independence Day,

Everybody.

Peace out.

Drop the mic.

Wrecking.