Interacting With Friends & Family While Awakening-LL&L

Welcome to Life,

Lessons,

And Laughter with your host,

Glenn Ambrose.

Hello,

Hello,

Hello everybody.

How are you?

Do tell.

Talk to me.

Talk to me.

So today,

You know I've discussed this topic many times in many different ways.

It's very common and it's something that we all need to process in our own ways.

So I'm just kind of as I'm waiting for people to tune in,

I'm just kind of scrolling through input that I've gotten from people recently.

So yeah,

Today I'm discussing how to interact.

Hey Deidre.

All good here.

All good up here in the in the mountains.

How's everything down by the beach Deidre?

Hey buddy.

Good.

Glad you're doing well.

Happy recent birthday.

So yeah,

This is you know this is a big topic because when we are awakening,

It changes who we are,

How we interact with the world around us,

And of course the people around us.

You know like how we interact with people and the relationships with people.

They were found,

The foundation of these relationships with people were you know they were founded on being a different person basically.

So as we evolve,

The relationships have to evolve and the biggest like overview is this is an overview with many things.

What we need to do is we need to detach from the expectation of what we think a healthy relationship is or what we think should happen within the relationship.

You know it's our expectations.

We have these preconceived ideas of what we want our life to look like and what we think our relationships should look like,

What we think our life should look like.

I mean you know like we have all these rules for happiness and if this happens,

Then that's good and if it doesn't happen,

Then that's bad.

We have all these judgments and labels that we've been creating our entire lives and we have to let go of those.

We have to let go of these unrealistic expectations.

It's kind of ironic like here we are doing all this self-work and becoming better versions of ourselves which is cool but then when it comes to interacting with the world around us,

It seems like it's so difficult.

It's because we've changed and how we're interacting with the circumstances haven't.

We still have these preconceived notions like a lot of unconscious ones.

A lot of times like if we're there for a friend and then all of a sudden we're hurting and we go to that friend,

They're not able to be there for us.

We judge them.

We go,

Well I was there for you so therefore I'm a good person and I'm a good friend and you weren't there for me so therefore you're a bad person.

You're a bad friend.

This is how we interact with life.

We just walk around constantly judging things with these preconceived ideas in our heads that don't actually have any ground.

That's not how friendships work.

That's not how any relationship works.

Some people are emotionally incapable of being there for other people.

It happens all the time and sometimes those are our best friends because we have the most fun with those people.

Sometimes those people are just a blast to hang out with and they're all wonderful because some of them interact with life on a very surface-y level.

They don't go deep.

They just play on the surface and that's why they're fun because it's just like nothing gets too deep,

Nothing gets too serious.

They're just kind of light-hearted and that doesn't make them a bad person.

It's just that's how they interact with life and then all of a sudden we come in with this heaviness and this serious deep stuff and a heartache and they don't know how to deal with that.

All of a sudden,

They let me down.

They let me down.

They're not a good friend and I was there for them and we fall into this victim mode and it's like whoa,

Whoa,

Whoa.

We have to pick and choose who we go to with these deep things.

I mean a lot of people can't handle this stuff.

So we have to be more selective in who we share with what or what we share with who.

Strike that.

Reverse it.

Thank you.

And there's your Willy Wonka reference for those of you that remember that.

So hey Jenny.

So yeah,

This is what I'm going to talk about and you know there very well could be a large amount of interaction with you guys watching.

You know so we'll see.

I'm gonna you know I have to drop into my little flow so the information can flow.

So I have to do that and then stop and read the comments sometimes and kind of oscillate back and forth which is not my forte.

I'm either in the flow or I'm not.

I'm in my intellectual state where I can read and stuff.

So bear with me where if this gets a little choppy going back and forth.

Yeah,

Some people camp out and live there 24-7.

I'm all about being there for someone but if their whole life revolves around gloom and doom I just can't.

Yeah and you know this that's a good place to start Jenny because that's kind of what was the catalyst for this.

So I'm gonna go back and just kind of read a little bit of the catalyst to get even more clarity on what you just said.

Struggling with dealing with close friends who find themselves in unhealthy situations in their lives.

I give advice but nothing changes.

Like you I'm an action taker.

You know talking about me,

I often say I'm an action taker.

Like you I'm an action taker so get very frustrated when I realize they don't want or aren't empowered enough to change their lives for the better.

Instead just want to bitch to me about it all.

I'm trying to be a good friend and be a sounding board but struggle not to let it affect my energy and emotions and find myself becoming more frustrated and intolerant.

So you know the beauty of this people is and you know I'll just hit you right between the eyes.

The beauty of it is it's not their fault.

So it's your fault.

So there we go.

So you know and the beauty of that is because you can change it now because it's your fault.

You know that's the dichotomy or the double-sided coin to spirituality.

It's one of the biggest truths that there are is that everything is our fault.

You know we have to take full responsibility for our lives and but on the other side of that coin is as you take responsibility for your life,

You start understanding that you have way more control over your life than you realize you did.

You know so this is the it's like everything else.

There isn't like your life is your responsibility and you have much more control over your life than you realize.

These are basically spiritual truths right and a spiritual truth doesn't work sometimes in some situations.

Maybe if you play your cards right,

That's not a spiritual law.

A spiritual law is eternally true.

It's always been true.

It will always it's true now.

It always will be true and it's true in every situation.

You know this is what simplifies everything and it's why I can do what I do.

So the simplified stuff is that like it's our responsibility here.

It's not like you know this is an aspect of spiritual snobbery.

We start waking up spiritually and then we start judging everybody else who isn't and we immediately forget that we were just like them two weeks ago or six months ago or six years ago or 20 years ago.

Whatever.

It doesn't matter.

You don't know what you don't know when you don't know it.

So we can't blame them like if they're the ones who aren't seeing the truth,

Why would we hand them the keys to our happiness?

It doesn't make sense.

If somebody's really not doing well in their life or not interacting with life in a way that we think they should,

We're going to let that person determine our experience or our happiness.

Why?

They can't even handle their own life.

We shouldn't be handing our happiness over to other people anyway.

We need to be in control of our own happiness.

We need to be in control of our own dynamics.

So one of the things that you can do with people that you love quite frankly.

This is usually something that you do with somebody you love because somebody you love isn't somebody most often.

If they end up not being in your life,

It's a big deal.

Somebody you love.

It's just not a snap decision.

So somebody you love,

Somebody that you really want to be there with for and with,

If they're sharing things,

There's a certain limit to sharing.

Kind of like Jenny alluded to.

If they're constantly not doing any work and they just constantly want to complain to you,

Well then we'll deal with that in a minute.

But one thing you can do with people is hold space for them.

Oftentimes if I'm in a relationship,

I'm a life coach and I'm a guy.

That's two strikes against me.

Not really.

But it's two reasons why I love to help people.

If somebody comes to me with a problem,

It's my nature to try to help them.

And that's not always what people need when they're in my personal life.

If they're my clients,

They not only expect it,

But that's definitely what you're going to get.

That's what my job is.

That's what I do.

But when I'm in a relationship with somebody,

I'm not there to fix them.

That's not my job.

So then my dynamics can be different than fix.

So one thing that I learned to do was to hold space for people.

And to be honest with you,

It's really enjoyable.

Of course we can have compassion if somebody's pouring their hearts out.

So I don't mean enjoyable in that way.

But what I mean is when I first started doing this,

I felt a ton of pressure come off of me.

And I found out that I could be there for people without trying to fix them,

Without trying to change them.

And it was really helpful.

So I'll have a conversation with somebody that I'm in a relationship with and be like,

Hey,

I'm a fixer.

So if you just need to be heard,

If you need me to be there for you,

And you need to get something off your chest or talk to me about something and you don't want my input,

Please tell me upfront.

Because I can do that,

But I need to make a conscious choice to do it.

That's not my go-to.

That's not my normal move.

It's usually to fix.

So then if they say,

Yeah,

I just want you to listen.

I don't want you to try to fix it.

All of a sudden,

You sit there and I can disengage my brain from monitoring information that they're giving me to try to see like,

Oh,

How can I,

Is this a piece of the puzzle that I could tweak,

Help them tweak that?

And then it would like when you're listening with the intent of trying to help somebody,

You're monitoring what you're hearing to try to find ways to help them.

Right.

But if you're just holding space for them,

You don't have to do that.

You can just sit there in a space of compassion and understanding,

Thinking like,

Okay,

You know this,

I'm going to be here energetically for this person.

I'm going to be here and I'm going to hold safe space.

I'm going to let them speak without judgment.

I'm going to let them speak without trying to fix it.

I'm going to just be there for them energetically,

A soft,

Loving,

Safe space for them.

And that's what I'm going to be.

And you can just sit there and you can pay attention to their words.

And it's amazing how compassionate you can be and just understanding you can be when you're not busy trying to help fix it.

And sometimes,

You know,

With people,

It's a wonderful thing to do for them,

You know?

So this is one thing that we can do as a,

For people,

You know,

And I think that that's important and that's one of the reasons why I want to lead off with that.

So,

You know,

Because it's a specific technique or tactic that we can use.

So now let's dive into the people who are very negative,

You know,

And it's just constantly because,

I mean,

This is,

You know,

What we have to understand is we made the relationship what it is just,

You know,

And so did they.

But like now that we're different,

We need to kind of hold different standards,

You know,

And I always,

Honesty is always the best policy,

Not brutal honesty,

Just honesty.

And honesty is what I found the most effective when I've gone through,

I've gone through many integration stages with my spirituality,

You know,

Where I just woke up and I didn't know how to interact with anybody other than on a spiritual level.

And then I started like getting my feet on the ground and understanding how to interact with people in other ways.

And then,

But I had my spiritual side and then my other side and then I started blending the two and then I started my business and they blended even more and,

You know,

So over the years it's just like there's the lines blur and there's just kind of one of you.

So now there's basically spiritual Glenn.

That's,

You're going to get a version of that.

Now I can still play different roles within that,

But that's the basis for everything.

So as you're learning to integrate this stuff,

The,

You know,

What you want to do is be honest.

So make it about you.

This is because it is about you.

And this is the biggest mistake that people make,

I think is,

You know,

When you don't,

We're so addicted,

We are so addicted to external and we never think of internal so much so that we're literally focused on doing internal work on ourselves.

And we're constantly asking questions,

How to deal with the external.

You don't,

That's how,

You know,

I mean,

I'm practical.

I'm,

You know,

My teachings are down to earth.

So of course I'm going to dive into this and give you practical ways of how to interact with people externally.

But the short answer is it's not their problem.

It's your problem,

Which,

You know,

W which flips everything around because we're,

We're,

We're like,

Oh,

I'm so spiritual.

They're not.

So they're the problem.

And it's like,

No,

It's your life.

You're still a problem.

As long as it's in your world,

It's your issue.

So it's there for you to deal with.

So you,

This is,

You know,

This is how we learn how to have healthier relationships.

It's just like how we learn everything else.

How do we,

You know,

How do you like,

We understand things spiritually,

And then we think we're spiritual.

It's like,

No,

That that's not spirituality.

You have to take what you've learned and integrate it into your world.

And then that is what then,

Then you're living spiritually,

Understanding thing,

Something doesn't mean that you're living spiritually.

Okay.

So,

So actually taking it and living it in your life,

That's living spiritually.

So this is no different.

So,

So,

You know,

When we're interacting with people,

We have to understand that we need to be different here.

So what we need to do is make it about us.

It's all about us.

So tell the truth.

You know,

When,

When you're struggling with somebody,

I mean,

I've literally said,

Said this countless times.

Like if somebody's constantly coming to me with negative stuff,

And they don't,

They either don't want my help or they're not taking the action that I'm suggesting,

Or they just like to complain or they're negative all the time.

And it's always something different or like those types of people.

Like it's,

It's about me.

I mean,

It's always about me.

My experience is about me.

So I tell them,

Hey,

Listen,

You know,

I'm doing this,

I'm doing a lot of work on myself and to try to be a happier version of myself.

And what I've noticed is having conversations about negativity really dragged me down.

So what I'm trying to do is minimize those.

And like,

If there's a problem,

And you know,

You need to get something off your chest or something once,

Hey,

I'm your person,

I can hold space,

I can listen to you.

If you have a problem,

And you would like to work towards a solution,

I'm your guy,

I can help with that.

Um,

But like,

It has to have a,

It has to have a purpose like that,

Like,

We have to,

We have to be working through it,

Because just to sit here and listening to complaining all the time,

I just can't do that.

It just brings me down.

And I'm working on my happiness,

Trying to keep my happiness up.

And that just drains my energy.

So I,

You know,

If,

If we're just going to sit here complaining about stuff,

I'm just not,

I'm not complaining anymore.

I'm just not doing that.

You know,

And I mean,

Some people,

That's enough.

Some people,

You know,

You have to take this and in certain situations,

Tweak it a little bit or expand on it a little bit,

Depending on the person.

You know,

I can't like give you a verbatim speech to give your child,

As well as your spouse,

As well as your boss,

As well as your coworker,

As well as your best friend that you've known for 40 years,

As well as your new friend that you've known for six months.

Like,

You know,

There's no verbatim speech that I can give you.

I'm trying to,

You know,

I'm going to try to give you some some practical ideas.

But,

You know,

Know that you'll probably have to tweak them a little bit.

But I make it about me.

If it's about me,

It's not about them,

Then they're less likely to get offended.

And if they're like,

Well,

You know,

Then you're not there for me.

Okay.

All right.

So that,

Which that kind of leads us into the,

To the next stage of this,

Which is our expectations of how things are going to look.

We have this idea in life that if we do the right thing,

Then the the patented perfect response comes back.

So like,

So Glenn said,

Make it about me.

So what I'll do is this is now this is all unconscious.

I understand that most people aren't thinking this,

But this is how it plays out.

So what happens is I give somebody advice,

Right?

So and they go,

Oh yeah,

That sounds good,

Glenn.

That sounds good.

And,

But they haven't thought about how it's going to play out or the possibilities of how it's going to play out.

So basically what it looks like is they go to their friend comes up complaining and they go,

Listen,

I'm really trying to work on myself.

And like,

So I'm trying to stay out of the negativity and stuff.

So,

You know,

If we could cut back on that,

Cool.

And the other person gets all upset and then the person comes back to me and goes,

Glenn,

Oh,

This is ridiculous.

I was honest with them.

I gave them truth and now they're all pissed off.

They won't talk to me and they're,

They didn't take it right.

And this is ridiculous.

Like something happened that was wrong.

You know,

And this is what we have to wash out of our brains.

See when you live spiritually,

The salute,

Like spiritual living is always a win-win.

Like you always get what you want.

That's by following spiritual truth.

This is what I keep saying about spiritual law.

It's true all the time in every situation.

It's predictable.

This is why it's safe.

It's,

And it's a wonderful way to live because we can get this,

You know,

We can get a predictable response but it's not necessarily what we think it's going to be unconsciously.

So we're bringing consciousness,

Right?

Consciously what happens is it's basically what we're doing is we're setting a boundary.

When you set a boundary with somebody,

A boundary doesn't work unless there's consequences.

Like it,

Like,

Like people,

People often have come to me over the years after I've explained setting a boundary and,

And they go,

Well,

I set the boundary,

But it didn't work.

And I'm like,

That's impossible.

You,

It's literally impossible to set a proper boundary and have it not work.

You,

That that's impossible.

If you set a proper boundary,

You might not like the response you got,

But it still worked because when you set a boundary,

You know,

I'm going to oversimplify here.

When you set a boundary,

Basically the,

The,

The two possibilities are,

They either agree with the boundary and abide by it,

Or they don't abide by it.

And then there's a consequence because of that.

So to,

Again,

To oversimplify,

If I set a boundary with somebody and say,

Hey,

Listen,

Please don't talk to me like that.

You know,

If you're going to talk to me like that,

I'm just not going to talk to you anymore.

And then they talk to me like that again.

Well,

Then I don't talk to them anymore.

Like that's not a loss.

That's not like,

Oh my God,

This stuff doesn't work.

No,

It worked perfectly.

That because what is the point of the boundary?

The boundary is to control your experience,

To not have people talk to you like that.

Right.

Okay.

Well,

This person is out of your life.

They're not talking to you like that.

So that's a win.

It worked.

But see,

Unconsciously,

We want to keep everybody in our lives and,

And have them and control their behaviors.

Like I want everybody that I know,

I want all my friends and family,

Even though I've completely changed and I'm continually changing and I'm becoming a different person.

I want everybody out there to respect me,

To treat me how I want to be treated.

Even if it goes against their free will,

I want them to do it anyway.

And then everything will be fine.

Well,

That's not realistic.

We can't make other people any more than they can make us like we are in control of our reality.

They're in control of theirs.

We can't,

I can't go in and make somebody act a certain way just because it's healthy or it's spiritual or something like that.

That's not how this game works.

Like that's not life.

The way this game works is you set a boundary and the bound you have to be,

You have to understand that,

That the other person has the right to not follow through with what you're asking them to do.

They have every right in the world and stop judging them for that.

Why are you judging them?

You know,

This is,

This is how I understood it.

Okay.

Because of course I caught myself doing the same thing.

We all do the same stuff.

This isn't rocket science.

So I caught myself upset because somebody was treating me poorly.

And,

And I was like,

Okay,

Well,

The,

You know,

I wanted them to be more loving and they weren't.

And I was behaving in a loving way towards them for at this point,

I think it was like 10 years straight and they would just,

They just would attack and attack and come back at me.

And after a while,

Of course it's exhausting.

And I tried all these different techniques and what really finally got me over it was I realized that I was holding them to an unrealistic standard and I was trying to control,

Or I had determined what they should,

The way they should think.

Like,

Because I was thinking through love and spirituality and peace and all this stuff.

So then I'm right.

And they're thinking through hate and anger.

So they're wrong.

So I determined that.

So basically what I was doing all those 10 years was trying to be good enough.

So they would see that I was good and start acting nicely towards me,

Which never worked.

So it was the way I finally get over this was I was thinking about it and I was like,

So let's reverse the roles here,

Reverse the roles.

You know,

This is how I get clarity on things a lot because I'm always coming from my perspective,

Right?

So that's the way I see things.

But if I switch places with the other person,

Now all of a sudden I'm getting clarity on the scenario.

So what I did is I was like,

Okay,

Now this person thinks with anger all the time.

Do they have the right to come into my world and tell me how to think?

They believe that anger is the right way.

I believe that love is the right way.

Would it be appropriate for them to come over to my house,

Knock on my door and sit me down on the couch and say,

Okay,

Glenn,

We're going to go over the way you're interacting with life because it's inappropriate and I'm going to teach you how to live through anger and hatred and I want you to take all this information in and then apply it in your life to the best of your ability.

Now,

Would that be appropriate for somebody to do?

No,

It would not.

And I do not want that to happen.

So since I don't want that to happen,

It's not about my way being out of love and their way being out of hate.

It's about my way being my way and their way being their way and we don't have the right to climb into somebody else's world to tell them how they're supposed to live their lives.

We don't have that right because for us to have that right,

Then we would be able to have that right for people to do it to us.

I get along with most people but I'm telling you right now,

If somebody came into my house and started telling me how I was supposed to think and live my life,

We would have a problem.

They would be exiting shortly.

So if nobody has the right to come into my world and tell me what I have to do and the way I have to think and what my reality should be based on,

Then what right do I have to go into somebody else's world and tell them?

What because I'm coming from love and they're not so therefore I'm better than them?

That's not the dynamic.

That's not spiritual law.

That's where it gets confusing.

This is why I call it spiritual snobbery because we start waking up to love and then since we're standing on a platform of love,

A soapbox of love,

Then we think we get to tell everybody else how to do things because they're more aligned with low vibrations and anger and hatred and we're loved so we're good and they're bad so we can tell them how to live and we can judge them for not being like us.

That's just judgment.

It doesn't matter.

That's not love.

That's judgment.

So in that moment,

As much as we think we're coming from love,

We're not.

We're coming from manipulation.

We're attempting to manipulate how other people think to suit our purposes.

That's not love.

This is the whole basis of free will.

One of the biggest questions that everybody has about God is how can God let all these horrible things happen on the planet?

You want to know why?

Because it's free will.

That's why.

And God understands love.

That's why.

Because the moment God comes down onto earth and goes,

Well,

Wait a minute now.

There's a bunch of people down here and they have the choice to open up to love and connect with me or they have a choice to close off to love and suffer the consequences and live life however they want.

That's their free will.

That's their free choice.

I made it like this because that's love.

Love doesn't control.

Love is a choice.

And that's the foundation of our relationship with God.

So as soon as God comes down here and says,

Well,

I'm going to stop this.

That's control.

That's manipulation.

That is not love.

That's why God can't do it because he would break his own law.

His relationship with us would no longer be based in love.

It would only be based in control and it would shatter everything.

So this is why it's not done.

So this is,

And it's the same law with us.

It's universal truth.

So for us,

We can't go into somebody else's world and tell them how to live.

And it doesn't matter if we're loving and they're bad and we're good and they're evil.

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter the dynamic.

It doesn't matter if they're lost and we're found.

It doesn't matter.

We can't go into their world and tell them how to live their life.

So we have to get that out of our heads and just understand that we're setting boundaries.

We're teaching people how to treat us.

So let's see where to go next.

Hey Kelsey.

Hey Pam.

So yeah,

So we always have to,

When you're living spiritually,

You have to set it up so it's a win-win because it's always a win-win with spirituality.

It just,

You might not like one of the wins.

You know,

One of the like most extreme examples of this is when somebody has,

You know,

Sometimes somebody has an illness where they're going to die or there's a good chance that they're going to die and everybody comes running in and prays for them,

Right?

Like,

Oh my God,

Let's pray for them to no longer be suffering and to be healthy and not have to be suffering from this disease.

And then the person dies and everybody gets all upset and they go,

Well,

Where was God?

And it's like,

Well,

He was right there.

What do you mean where was God?

Well,

We prayed for this person to be healed and God didn't answer.

It's like,

Oh no,

God answered.

He just didn't answer the way you wanted him to.

There's always two ways.

We live in a world of yin and yang dichotomy,

Two sides to every coin.

Like there's always two ways that things can break.

So when you pray for somebody to get healthier or,

You know,

Especially in,

You know,

It's more obvious in a,

In a situation where death is likely,

But if you're praying for that and that person dies,

Well then that was the way for them to be healthy.

They're fine now that they're not diseased.

They don't have the disease and us suffering.

They're on the other side.

They're fine.

That's,

They're healed,

You know,

But we have this closed mind like,

No,

It's supposed to look the way I want it to look and we have to stop that.

So,

And this is the foundation for everything because if you don't understand that,

Then when you go in and start interacting with friends and family and they don't do what you think that they should do,

You're going to get pissed off and you're going to think that this stuff doesn't work,

You know,

And it does work.

It's just,

You have to understand that they have free will.

We're dealing with human beings with free will.

So you have to set up an opportunity where it's a win-win for you.

They're either going to respect you and the way you're living and the way you want to live your life or they're not.

Like most often we try to,

We try to control things that are uncontrollable.

We try to control external factors.

So we go,

Tell me how I can have a wonderful relationship with my spouse.

Like I can't,

I can't control another person any less than you can control another person.

You might end up divorced.

Maybe that's what has to happen.

I don't know.

All I can do is tell you how to live spiritually.

And if you live spiritually,

You're going to continue getting what you want and your life is going to continue getting better.

And if you're married to somebody that can't respect you and your new found beliefs,

Well then you might have to get divorced.

It happens.

It's not the end of the world.

Well,

But that's,

But that's,

See people get caught up.

That's not what I want.

This is not,

You don't know what you want.

People don't,

We don't know what we want.

This is why a lot of times people ask me what I want in different scenarios.

I'm like,

I don't know.

Like every time I tried to figure out what I want,

I would either cut myself short or it didn't turn out the way that I wanted.

When I take my hands off of it and let the universe decide what I want,

It always comes out 10 times better.

Of course I lean in towards things that bring me joy and stuff like that.

But my point is that most relationships,

Long standing ones,

These people that are driving us crazy,

They're living life from their perspective.

I just had like three different bits of information come in.

I had to pick one.

They're living their lives from their perspective.

Okay.

They're the main actor and the director in their play.

And everybody's like that.

It's not this,

This isn't a,

You know,

An unconscious conscious thing.

Like everybody's like that.

I'm like that.

We all live our lives from our perspectives.

So therefore we are the director in our own play and we are the main actor in our own play.

Everybody's like that.

Sure.

We can step out and try to understand how somebody else thinks or feels in certain situations,

But we're never going to be that great at it.

And you know,

The best we can hope for is to be a courteous person.

We're never going to be able to like literally climb inside somebody and know why they make the decisions they do and all that stuff.

So everybody lives life from their perspective.

So when we're living our life from our perspective,

What we need to do is understand that everybody else is living from theirs.

And when we change our roles,

When we change how we interact with somebody,

That's changing an actor's role in their play.

And a lot of times they get irritated because like most people live their lives by not wanting to think about stuff.

They don't want to try to figure out how to deal with you.

They don't want to try to figure out which store they should go to for their groceries.

They just go to the same one.

Why?

Because it's less to think about.

They don't like problems coming up at work.

Why?

Because then they have to figure out how to solve it.

They just want everything to go smoothly.

Same thing with raising kids.

Same thing with everything.

Nobody wants to think about anything.

They just want everything to go smoothly and just want the problems to stop.

And then you come in and you start messing with the role and they get irritated because they're like,

This is my life.

This is my play.

And it's all unconscious.

They don't have clarity.

They're doing this,

But they're like,

This is my play.

You're a secondary actor in my play.

And like,

If you start behaving differently,

Then I have to change my role in this play.

And then some of the other secondary actors are going to have to change the roles in their play.

Like you're messing up my play and it's too much to think about.

And I just want everything to go smoothly.

Stop rocking the boat.

So this is,

This is a lot of times the initial reaction or the reason for the initial reaction of not liking it.

Because you're screwing with their play.

So this is why we have to make it about us.

So they,

It's less likely that they're going to get defensive and explain to them,

Hey,

I'm living my life differently.

And at the end of the day,

All relationships have to be founded in respect.

So if you're looking for like a baseline,

A foundational piece to kind of figure out what to do from,

It's respect.

Okay?

Because most arguments are caused because of people trying to,

Well,

Not,

Yeah,

Trying to,

But thinking they're supposed to agree with one another.

We are not supposed to agree with one another.

I'm going to say this 350,

000 more times probably over the next couple of years because it bears repeating.

We are not supposed to agree with one another.

We aren't.

It's not a foundation for a good relationship.

We're not,

We're not supposed to agree with each other all the time in marriages,

In friendships,

In anything,

In politics,

In communities,

None of it.

And unconsciously,

Again,

All the,

The biggest problem is unconsciousness.

We don't even know why we're doing what we're doing.

We don't even understand that our belief systems are based in the idea that we think we're supposed to agree with one another.

People don't even know that.

They don't even know that that's the problem.

You know,

We look at,

We look at global politics and we go,

We need to fix this and we need to fix this and we need to fix that.

And it's like,

No,

We don't.

No,

We don't because those three things that you just mentioned,

We're going to get three more of them next month.

And then we're going to get three more of the month after because that's,

Those are all problems.

The problems in our world are symptoms.

They are not problems.

Down underneath is the problem,

But we don't slow down enough to look at this stuff.

And if you do,

If you slow down and look at it,

You find spiritual truths.

You find truths that work in every situation all the time.

And when we connect to those and we understand those and we start living from those,

Life gets much more smoothly,

Goes much more smoothly.

Okay.

So this is where we need to,

We need to get down.

We need to understand that a lot of our interactions are based on expecting the other person or wanting the other person to agree with us.

And we have to get that out of our heads.

We are made as individuals.

We're not supposed to agree.

We're supposed to have a respect for one another.

And that is what you make boundaries about.

That is what you make your shift in relationship dynamics about.

You don't make it about,

Hey,

I'm spiritual and I'm not going to listen to complaining.

So,

So like,

Do you agree with that?

That I'm not going to sit here and listen to you like I've done for the last 20 years?

The other person's going to go like,

No.

And then you might even try to explain it to them.

And like,

If you try to explain it to them,

They're still not going to get it.

Because why?

Because you know,

The topic of this is basically assuming that these people are not on their spiritual path.

So they're not going to be thinking the way that you're thinking.

So what,

What we're always trying to get down to that foundational baseline of respect.

That's what the conversation needs to be about.

This is why this is how we come to common ground.

We can always respect one another.

Many times we're not going to agree with one another.

So you just what,

That's what you need to make the conversations about,

You know,

So when you're talking with these people and you're trying to explain something to these people,

You just be like,

Listen,

You know,

I'm,

We're all on our own journey.

This is what I'm doing to try to improve my happiness.

See,

You know,

Like I said in the beginning,

It always starts with truth and make it about you.

So I'm trying to better my life.

I'm trying to bring more happiness into my life.

I'm going to be doing some things and some of them you might not like.

Some of them you might not agree with.

Some of them you might not understand.

You might even think that they're foolish.

So,

You know,

Maybe it is.

But what I'm asking you is,

Can you respect me?

You know,

Can you respect our differences?

If I'm just going to go,

If I'm doing a little experiment here,

Trying to bring happiness into my life.

And part of that is I'm not going to listen to complaints.

I'm not going to sit there on phone calls and go out to lunch and just listen to negativity over and over and over again.

Like I'm,

This is part of my experiment.

I'm going to do that.

And then if I don't do that for a month,

I'm going to see if I'm happier.

Can you respect that?

It's nothing to do with you.

You know,

I always let everybody know it's me.

I'm doing my work.

This is what I'm doing.

You don't have to do it.

You don't have to agree with it.

You don't have to like it.

This is just what I'm doing to try to become a happier version of me.

And I'm hoping that we can still be friends because that's what I want.

You know,

And that's another piece.

It's like,

It's funny how these pieces just unfold.

It's like,

When you're,

You know,

When you're starting a conversation,

Always try to put the other person at ease,

Put their defenses down because the way we communicate is attack,

Defend,

Attack,

Defend.

That's how most conversations go,

Even friendly ones,

Quite honestly.

So like what we got to do,

Especially if it's a sensitive thing,

If you're asking somebody to interact with you differently,

Then it's to lower their defenses,

Their defense mechanisms and let them know that this isn't about them.

This is about you and your journey.

That's what this is about.

And,

You know,

We're just asking them to respect that.

That's all.

So it's,

You know,

So I always kind of lead out with something like the purpose of the conversation.

If you lead out with the purpose of the conversation,

It's helpful.

So a lot of times in a situation like this,

The purpose of the conversation is to actually stay friends with somebody or to keep a connection with somebody like a spouse or a family member.

Like what you're,

The reason that you're bothered that you're having difficulty interacting with them is because you want to continue interacting with them because you care about them.

Right?

So the problem,

So you have to go deeper so that,

You know,

Usually we go,

Well,

They're doing something I don't like and it bothers me.

Ah,

And we think that's the problem.

So no,

That's not the problem.

The problem is that you want to get along with them well,

And it's not working the way you're doing it right now.

That's the problem.

You know,

So then if you go to them and you say,

Listen,

You know,

I just want to let you know that I really value our relationship.

Like it's very important to me and I want our relationship to continue because it's very important to me.

So my whole goal in this conversation is to come to a common ground where we can respect one another and continue to grow our relationship.

That's what I want.

It's because I love you.

I care about you.

This is what,

That's what I want.

And then,

And now,

Oh,

Okay.

So this,

This person actually wants to be in a relationship with me.

Good.

People don't usually get upset with that.

Good.

You know,

And you know,

And then you can,

You know,

Go in and again,

Make it about the fact.

It's not,

It's not about them living like you live or understanding why you're doing what you're doing or even supporting you in what you're doing.

It's not about that.

It's just about respecting one another.

I just don't want to talk about negativity all the time.

It's it just brings me down and,

And I don't want to do it anymore.

You know,

It doesn't solve anything.

It just brings us down.

So there,

Wow,

There's a lot of information in this one.

Um,

Always go to solution.

Always go to solution,

You know,

Because people get stuck in problems.

You know,

That they want to talk about the problem and discuss the problem and go over and over the problem.

And then after that,

They'll talk about the problem.

And it's like,

Just keep bringing them back to solution.

Keep bringing them back to solution.

You know,

And one of two things is going to happen.

People are going to get like,

Frustrated that you keep bringing them back to the solution when they're trying to focus on the problem.

And you can explain it before or after.

Be like,

You know,

I just want to stay in the solution.

I don't see a benefit in staying in the problem.

I've stayed in the problem many times in my life.

And all I got was more problems and I and it brought me down and I felt worse.

But if I focused on the solution,

And I put my my attention on a solution,

Things got better.

And even if things didn't change,

I at least felt better about it.

You know,

So like,

Keep bringing it back to the solution.

And especially,

You know,

That's what with with people who are playing ball with you here,

You know,

That,

I mean,

Because some people you're like,

You know,

I don't really want to just sit and hash over the negativity all the time.

They're like,

Okay,

Well,

We got nothing to talk about,

Then you're just different.

And I don't understand.

And you might try to explain it to them to some degree,

But some of these people,

You're going to lose relationships.

It's going to happen.

Like,

You know,

It's because the who you were when you when when these relationships were founded,

Was literally a different person,

You were literally a different person.

You spoke differently,

You thought differently,

You acted differently,

You interacted with life differently.

So they were friends with that person.

They might not like you.

They might not want to be friends with somebody that's spiritual and happy.

It's okay.

I mean,

I didn't,

I know it.

I wouldn't,

I would have punched myself in the face when I was 18.

Like I remember I met every once in a while I remember when I was young,

I met somebody that didn't drink alcohol,

Not because they were an alcoholic and they got sober.

They just chose not to drink alcohol every once in a while I would meet somebody like that.

Or they wouldn't drink at least they wouldn't they drank very rarely like they wouldn't they were out at a nightclub or a bar or a party and they had decided not to drink.

And to me,

Like back then,

I mean,

I was an alcoholic back then.

And most people drank like the way very similarly,

Or it seemed like they drank similarly to the way I drank.

So when I met somebody like that,

I didn't trust them.

I was like this something off about that person.

What do you mean you you came to a party and you're not going to drink like what's the point?

I didn't understand them.

So where I know,

Of course,

Now I understand them.

But but like,

You know,

Your relationship was founded when you interacted with life differently.

So they might,

Some of these relationships aren't going to last.

And it's really not that big of a deal.

Quite honestly,

Most of that,

As long as you stay focused on the fact of what you want.

This is why I always bring it back to the point,

What's the point?

What's the point of you doing your spiritual work?

Simplify everything,

Man.

That's where you get to the truth.

What is the point?

The point is,

Is you want to live a peaceful,

Happy life.

Okay,

Then then you get that.

If you want to live a peaceful,

Happy life,

You get to live a peaceful,

Happy life.

But you don't get to live a peaceful,

Happy life and keep all the negative friends and manipulate them into turning into the people that you want them to be and change world politics and redesign the the last the way societies figured out how to work over the last hundred thousand years.

You don't get that.

You just get to live peacefully and happily.

That's what you get.

That's your goal.

That's your focus.

That's why you're doing the work.

And you get that.

But you don't get everything else because some of it isn't going to fit in a peaceful,

Happy life.

And a lot of times it's parts of,

You know,

Stuff in your own life.

A lot of times you can tweak them and shape them and change your perspective on them and they get to stay.

But with other people that have free will,

That's a whole nother dynamic,

Man.

You got somebody else now.

It's not about you anymore.

It's about you too.

And just because you want the relationship to work in a healthy way and they're not interested,

They just want the status quo,

Man.

They're not ready to do their work.

They're not interested in doing their work.

But then you have to leave them,

You know.

And,

You know,

Sometimes those relationships will end.

Sometimes they won't.

But I think with,

Okay,

I think is this something changed on my computer?

Hopefully you guys can still hear me.

Just let me know if this thing's,

If I'm still live.

If somebody could post a comment.

I think I am.

But yeah,

Like you don't,

You don't get to change them.

So some of them are going to leave,

You know,

It's just that that's just how it's going to go.

Some of them will stay and adjust and that's great and some of them won't.

And most of the time it's not going to be a big draw a line in the sand.

You know,

You can't draw a line in the sand.

Okay,

Cool.

Thank you guys.

I'm still live.

So you can't draw a line in the sand and then,

You know,

Be like you have to function to this or you don't,

I'm sorry,

I lost my track,

Train of thought.

You don't have to draw a line in the sand with most people and end things.

Like what happens is when somebody's in your life and you guys aren't getting along and it's not working out,

What happened,

You know,

Of course,

Unless it's a spouse or something,

That's a little bit different.

But and sometimes it's a little different with family members.

Sometimes not though.

But and with friends,

Like a lot of times what happens is you just notice that you haven't had the desire to call them recently.

Like they just haven't popped in your head as often as they used to.

So maybe if you used to talk to them a couple times a week,

Then all of a sudden you're like,

You know,

A week or two will go by and you won't think to reach out to them.

And it's not because you're trying to slight them or anything.

It's just you guys don't really connect in a healthy way.

And you just didn't think about calling them.

That was all,

You know,

There's no mal intent,

Nothing bad.

And they don't particularly enjoy your interactions like they used to.

So they may or may not call you as often.

And it might actually be more negative on their part because they're not doing their work.

It's okay.

It's okay.

What happens is sometimes you wake up and you're like,

I haven't talked to this person in like,

Six months or three months or a year.

When did that happen?

That's weird.

Well,

We weren't really clicking anymore anyway.

So you have to let this stuff fall away most often.

But I mean,

There's other times,

You know,

We have to remember that there's different roles in our life.

Like a lot of times,

Maybe this is a whole nother podcast.

But people complain about being like lonely when they start their spiritual path because of going through this process and disconnecting with some people that were in their lives and not being able to connect.

So not being able to connect differently with these people.

So it's not as steady and not as often.

So people get lonely and they want to connect.

And of course,

You know,

Making new friends is helpful,

Like mine didn't all that.

But like,

Some we have to remember there's different roles that we play.

Like if you're a parent,

When you are completely different when you're in the bedroom than when you're with your kid,

You know,

Like in a bedroom with your spouse,

I mean,

You know,

Like,

And when you're interacting with your parents,

Then when you're interacting with your children,

Like there's different dynamics when you're with a fun friend,

You might act more silly and fun.

And when you're with a more serious friend,

You act more serious.

So like,

And all this is fine.

They're just roles.

As long as we don't think that's who we are,

Then we're cool.

So understanding that we play different roles temporarily in different situations in our lives and not taken too seriously,

That's fine.

So like,

I have people in my life that aren't spiritual,

But they're wonderful people.

Like,

You know,

Just they're just salt of the earth,

Good,

Loving,

Accepting,

Wonderful people.

They accept me for who I am.

And like,

They know that I've changed and they accept the new Glenn.

And those people are still a lot of those people are still in my life.

Why?

Because we interact well,

And we respect one another.

And they're not on a spiritual path.

So what?

So we don't talk about spirituality when I'm with them,

You know,

And then every once in a while,

They know that I do this stuff.

So they might ask a little,

They might be like,

Hey,

You know,

I'm struggling with this thing in my life.

What are your thoughts on it?

And I give them my thoughts.

And I would probably say 75% of the time,

They're not going to do what I suggested.

Even though I think it would probably work.

They might have their life might actually benefit from it,

But they're not going to do a wolf court.

Of course,

I think that that's why I said it,

Right?

I'm not going to give them advice that I think would hurt them.

So if I'm going to give them advice,

But I understand that I'm not there to fix them.

I'm not their life coach.

So if they don't take my advice,

I don't take it personally.

It's just one friend talking with another friend.

They don't have to do what I say.

You know,

Just because I said it and I and I know stuff because I'm a life coach,

Like they don't,

You know,

It's just I don't interact with them that way.

There's a little bit more breathing room,

They can ask my opinion,

And I'll give it and if they take it,

Cool.

If they don't,

Fine.

You know,

Whatever,

It's their life.

I'm not trying to run their life for them.

You know,

So this is the,

Which is the other piece.

This is a general thing with everybody.

Don't,

If you're talking about stuff and people aren't taking your advice,

Then you can,

You know,

Maybe that's not the dynamic that you're supposed to have.

Maybe you're not their life coach.

So maybe you're just their friend.

You know,

If you're just their friend,

Then interact respectfully,

But they don't have to take your advice.

You know,

It's not mandatory that somebody takes your advice when you give it.

So I think,

Yeah,

This is,

Yeah,

I'm over an hour,

So I'm gonna wrap it up in a minute.

So like as far as taking advice goes,

Like people do not have to take your advice.

Now if you have a friend or a family member that's coming to you for help with a particular situation or they're always coming to you for help,

This is something that I do with people.

Like what I do is I come up with small actions that you can take.

Okay,

And I mean I'll do this with clients too,

Just kind of naturally,

But if I have somebody that's consistently coming to me like,

Glenn,

My life's messed up.

How,

You know,

How can I,

What should I do?

Okay,

And then I keep giving them these,

You know,

These things and they keep coming back and their life never gets better and stuff like that.

Then what I usually do with those people is I go,

Okay,

All right,

Let's sit down.

Let's really get some actionable stuff here,

Right?

Because you keep coming to me and you're frustrated,

Right?

So you must want your life to change.

Is that correct?

Yes,

Yes,

I want my life to change so badly.

Okay,

Cool.

All right,

So you want your life to change.

So what we need to do is stop talking about it and actually start doing it.

Okay,

So we're going to do it.

So me and you,

We're going to sit down,

We're going to have a conversation here and we're going to,

We're going to find some actionable solution that you can actually take that will actually change things in your life so you don't have to keep living like this.

Oh yes,

Yes.

And you have this conversation and you have actionable steps.

It could be have a conversation with your boss because that's what they're complaining about.

It could be have a conversation,

You know,

A lot of times it's conversational.

Send an email to somebody,

Have a conversation.

It's usually,

Oftentimes it's about addressing it in some way,

Shape or form,

Right?

And then,

And you have to have it very specific.

This is what they're going to do and then you can even put a time frame on it.

Okay,

Now is there any reason that you can't have a conversation in a week?

No,

No,

I could definitely have it in a week.

Okay,

You can definitely have it in a week because they're locked onto the solution so they're probably,

The fear hasn't crept up yet because they don't have to take the action.

So they're usually agreeable at this point.

So what I'll do is I'll be like,

Okay,

You can definitely,

Definitely take it in a week.

Yes,

Absolutely.

And you go,

Okay,

Then you have two weeks.

You have two weeks because if you can definitely do it in a week,

Let's say weird stuff pops up because people will manifest weird stuff.

Their frickin' water heater will go right during that week.

Why?

Because they manifest a block.

It's insane.

So what I'll do is I'll be like,

Okay,

If you can definitely do it in a week,

Then two weeks is zero excuses,

Right?

Oh my God,

Yeah.

There's no way I could come up with an excuse why it's not done in two weeks.

Okay,

Two weeks it is.

And then you wait.

And then after two weeks,

What happens is when they don't do it,

Because a lot of people won't,

Then you just sit back and you go,

Well,

I don't really want to have these conversations anymore.

Because it's not about the conversation.

We talk about stuff.

Talking about things doesn't help.

It doesn't change anything.

It just makes you feel better for a few minutes,

Like you did something because you got something off your chest.

But it doesn't help.

Like you had an actionable step and you didn't take it.

Your life is not going to change unless you do the work.

Nobody can do it for you.

So I'm not going to discuss this and depending on the person or any other things,

To be honest with you.

I'm just not,

I'm not going to because it's just rehashing negativity and there's no point to it.

So I'm just not going to do it because it's just it's just a waste of time.

And it brings me down because we're talking about negative stuff.

So I'm just not doing it anymore.

I mean,

Now,

If you take that you have an actionable step.

As soon as you take that,

Then come back and we'll,

We can pick up where we left off or but in the meantime,

You know,

We could talk about fun stuff,

But I'm not talking about the problems because you're not doing anything to fix it.

And it's harder for them to blame you then because they like they had an actionable step that they agreed to and they didn't take the action.

It's hard for somebody to skip over that and go,

Yeah,

But you're not my friend.

Like,

What do you mean,

I'm not your friend?

I sat down here and I we discussed action action that you could take to better your life,

And yet you didn't do it.

Like,

You know,

This,

There's really no point in discussing it,

If you're not going to take the action and change it.

It's just no point.

That's just complaining.

No.

So and that's the complaining.

So Oh,

Actually,

One thing I have to do say before I before I wrap up,

Check out the group coaching guys,

Glen Ambrose academy.

Com.

Or you can get the link from Glen Ambrose calm.

Check out my group coaching.

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So we need you guys to get signed up.

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Check out the group coaching.

Um,

So.

So yeah,

What the heck was I talking about?

I need to get that in in the middle of my podcast.

Hope you guys understand.

I can't put it at the end.

Long story.

But um,

So.

So yeah,

What was I talking about?

I was talking about Wow,

I've been doing good tonight coming back to it.

But now I just shot myself way off point.

Oh,

Actionable steps.

So let's talk about actionable steps.

So if people aren't taking the actionable steps,

Then it's hard for them to point the finger back at you.

Right?

So what they're this is what it was,

I got it.

So what what they're caught what many people are caught in is a loop.

Okay,

So what they do is there's a reason for complaining.

People complain incessantly.

It's a hobby for Christ sakes.

And so,

Like,

Why because it's an ego stroke,

You feel better.

Okay.

So,

Like,

Whenever we do something good for ourselves,

We get a pleasurable feedback from our body.

If you take in a breath of air,

And you hold it.

If you pay attention to how you feel in your body,

And you're especially in the area of your lungs,

It's pleasurable.

That's because we always get a pleasurable response whenever we do something that's good for us,

And stuffing our emotions and,

And not talking things out,

That ain't good for us.

So talking things out,

Even if it's kind of in the manner of complaining,

But you know,

Of course,

We lean too much into the direction of complaining.

But but getting things off our chest,

Talking things out is actually has a small benefit to ourselves,

Because we stuff less when we get it out.

And we connect more when we share what's going on in our hearts and in our minds with another human being.

So these are good things.

So the body gives us these pleasurable responses.

Well,

People mistake that for actual actually doing something to better their lives.

So that's the loop that they get caught in.

So they go complain,

And they purge and they,

You know,

You feel better when you throw up.

So so they throw up all over you,

And then they feel better.

And then they go,

Oh,

Yeah,

Oh,

My God,

That felt good.

And they'll often say it,

They'll be like,

Oh,

My God,

That felt so good to get that off my chest.

It's like,

Yeah,

You verbally threw up all over the place.

Okay,

You know,

Yeah,

There's,

There's benefits to that we're supposed to live in community,

We're supposed to interact with one another,

We're supposed to bond with one another,

We're supposed to create safe spaces for one another,

We're supposed to hold safe space for one another,

When we're going through difficulties,

This is all benefits of living in community,

We just don't really live in community,

And we don't have healthy relationships.

So,

So we don't know what that looks like.

But but there is,

You know,

There is a benefit to talking things out with other people.

But,

You know,

Make no mistake,

It's,

It's not a byproduct,

Or I'm sorry,

It's not it's not instead of taking action to change our lives.

We just get so people get caught up in that loop,

They throw up,

They feel a little bit better.

And then they they don't do anything to change their life,

Which gets very frustrating.

So they build up all this emotion.

So then they,

They come back and they throw up verbally,

And then they feel a little bit better.

And then they create more crap in their life.

And it's just an endless loop.

This is the same thing that we're doing living egoically.

What we do is we stroke our egos instead of actually finding true happiness,

We either stroke our egos,

Or we distract ourselves with with video games or TV or sex or drugs,

Illegal or legal or,

You know,

Or shopping or we do something to make ourselves feel a little bit better.

And then we don't actually address the problem.

Okay,

So this is what that's the loop that people are caught up in.

They feel a little bit better than they don't change.

And then they have to throw up again.

And they feel a little bit better than they don't change and they have to throw up again.

So like that,

You know,

So you understand that they're getting something out of it.

So they'll they'll just have to go find somebody else to throw up on if unless they actually want to change their lives.

So there.

I'm so glad I remembered that piece.

I was like just staring at a blank slate there for a couple minutes.

So there.

So yeah,

I think I think that's mainly I'm going to scan.

I mean,

This is,

You know,

An hour and 15 minutes already.

So I'm just going to scan through some comments real quick.

Yeah,

You know,

So here's a little thing.

I was just reading Jenny's post,

You know,

And at the end,

It says we both cried it out.

And we knew was coming from a place of love.

That's very important.

Come from a place of love when you're talking to these things that when you're talking to people about this stuff,

Not frustration,

You know,

Come at them with a place of love.

This is why I told you know,

I mentioned earlier about,

You know,

Opening with Hey,

I want this relationship to work.

I really care about you open with that,

You know,

Then they know it's coming from a place of love.

But you would be amazed at how often stuff like this actually goes well,

The better you the more work you do,

The better you are at coming from love.

It's amazing how well this and many other things work.

And Cindy,

Yes,

Respect each other.

Hey,

Chris,

Rick has a lot to do with vibrations and which frank frequencies you've tuned into.

Yeah,

I mean,

That,

You know,

Everything is energy.

So like everything that which I'm seeing you were catching on to this,

Rick,

It's,

It's different words.

You know,

I'm saying what I this podcast,

The way I said stuff was in a interactive,

You know,

Conversational way with people.

So and I often talk like that.

But I mean,

If you go deeper,

It's all vibrations.

You know,

It's,

You know,

Everything has a vibrational rate,

Complaining has a vibrational rate.

Love has a vibrational rate.

Victimhood has a vibrational rate,

You know,

Everything does.

So when you act out of love,

With a vibrational rate,

What you're actually trying to do is lift their vibration into a loving space.

And there you can connect,

You know,

So yeah,

It's all frequency.

It's all.

It's all vibrationally based.

Yeah,

It's Yeah,

It's I use that radio station thing a lot.

It's like that just tuned in at a different frequency.

You know,

If I'm listening to some rock and roll,

And they're listening to some easy listening,

It's just a different frequency that they're tuned into.

Yeah,

And it is amazing.

Like,

Like it,

You know,

And this is a that's a good point,

Rick,

It's it's amazing how some after time,

People will come back to you and let you know that that what you did help them.

You know,

This is why this is one of the really altruistic,

Wonderful aspects of this is like,

Many times in the last 18 years,

I've had people get very frustrated with me and storm off.

And there's been many reasons,

You know,

Some it's because of what we're talking about here,

Although that hasn't happened that much.

It's,

Although it has happened,

But it's more,

It's more when I was trying to work with somebody,

You know,

But what I always remember is all I have is my truth,

All I have is my authenticity,

It's all I have.

So when I'm sitting there going,

Should I really pull back on what I'm saying to this person?

Like,

You know,

Especially once we've gotten into it a few times,

And it's kind of not going well,

We're button heads a little bit,

Like,

Oh,

Should I back down off of what I'm saying just in order to get along with them?

And the answer for me is always no,

It's no,

Because one,

I'm not being authentic with myself if I do that.

And two,

It's because I might be the only version of truth that they see for a while.

And it's if they're not ready to accept it,

It's okay,

It's okay.

I got big shoulders,

I can handle it,

I'm not going to take it personally.

It's okay,

I would rather have them be exposed to the truth,

And storm off mad at me,

And point the finger on me and go,

You suck lens and asshole,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

I would rather have that,

Than them to never be exposed to the truth.

Because what happens with the truth is once you plant that seed,

A lot of times it grows,

And it grows in their time,

Not your time.

So I've had many people come back to me months later,

Years later,

Many years later,

And they came back and they're like,

I'm sorry,

Or not sorry,

But they're like,

Now I get it.

Now I understand what you were saying.

I wasn't ready to hear it then.

And it's like,

I understand I get it.

You just weren't ready.

And that's fine.

So there was really nothing left for us to talk about up until today,

Where you do get it.

Now we can start talking again,

And we can move forward.

But oftentimes what they would say is they're like,

Man,

I was really pissed off at you.

But once it finally clicked,

Or once I suffered enough,

And I was ready for change,

Because people think they're ready for change when they're suffering,

And a lot of times they're not.

So once they,

But they say,

Like,

Once I really suffered enough,

I knew exactly who to go to when I was ready to take the action to change.

That's why I came to you.

And that is such a,

That's such a compliment for me.

Because that means I stood in,

I stood in the truth,

Even when it was uncomfortable.

Because I knew ultimately,

It's the best for them,

The best thing for somebody else is to show them truth,

Not to jam it down their throat,

Not to be brutally honest,

But just to stand in your authenticity,

And expose your way of thinking,

If it's truth based to them,

Just expose them to it.

Don't tell them they have to be it,

Just expose them to it.

And if they pick it up and accept it,

Cool.

And if they throw it down and stomp on it and call you a meathead,

That's fine,

Too.

It's okay,

Let them walk away.

You know,

I had to do that with my son with,

You know,

When when we really got into it when he was 18 or 19.

I mean,

You know,

This is my life,

Man.

You know,

My son's my everything.

And to have him really angry at me for for a period of time.

I mean,

It was only a few months,

But it felt like a long time.

Although we had struggled for a while before that,

But but like when when really it came down to it,

I just had to stand in my truth.

And if he needed to call me a jerk,

So that he could get his life together and,

And find out who he was,

Then so be it.

That's part of being a parent.

You know,

Like,

I'll be the bad guy,

Point the finger at me and call me a jerk.

That's cool.

I can take it.

Just as long as you snap out of it and go do what you need to do to find happiness in your own life.

And fortunately,

That's what he did,

You know,

So it was wonderful.

But,

But this is,

You know,

We have to stand in our truth,

Stand in our authenticity,

And people often do come back,

You know,

So,

So that's gonna do it.

I got to fly.

I just got to stop this thing.

I,

You know,

I swear,

At some point,

I was going to do half hours,

And then 45 minutes became normal,

Then hours became normal.

Now I'm pushing an hour and a half.

I got a,

I think,

When I interact with,

Like when it was Ben and I on these,

He could keep me to the point and my brain could stay on point.

This is just I have to drop into the flow and go and I never know how long it's going to go.

So anywho,

That's going to do it for tonight.

Thank you all for tuning in.

I appreciate you.

And I will talk with you soon.

Peace.

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