Liberation From Procrastination - L,L,&L w/ Glenn Ambrose

Welcome to Life,

Lessons,

And Laughter with your host,

Glenn Ambrose.

Hey there,

Everybody.

You can't see me,

But you can hear me.

There I am.

Hey,

Welcome to the show.

I was trying a new picture,

But it didn't drop like the old one did when the show started.

So,

Here we are.

Here we are discussing liberation from procrastination.

This is what I always use the word liberation or I should say the mentality of liberation fairly regularly because that's what I think this is about.

I don't think we have to spend five years working on things.

If we understand them,

Let's transcend them.

Let's just liberate ourselves from them.

My hope is to shine a light into procrastination in a way where you understand it and therefore can liberate yourself from it.

Procrastination is very different than choosing to not do something for a day.

Out of self-love,

Let's say,

There's a big difference.

So,

As usual,

I guess I'll dive right in instead of procrastinating.

So,

Most often when we are procrastinating or doing anything else that's unhealthy for us or not in our best interest,

We look at it on the surface.

This is why things are difficult to understand because we don't look underneath them.

We just look at the surface.

On the surface,

We're in an experiential world where there's so many different dynamics and things going on that it looks confusing.

But it's not.

There's actually very few dynamics.

It all looks different on the surface.

So,

If we can go deeper underneath and see,

Sometimes I'll use the word energy,

See what the energy is of it or see what it's implying on an unconscious level,

Then we can understand it better.

So,

We have to go a little bit deeper.

So,

Procrastination on the surface,

Usually,

You know,

It's like,

If you talk to somebody,

Especially if they know they're procrastinating,

Usually,

Especially when they're younger or at the beginning stages,

There's not a heck of a lot of thought into it,

Right?

Because the discomfort hasn't gotten that bad yet.

So,

They haven't had to rationalize their behavior yet.

So,

Somebody at the beginning of procrastinating,

Usually,

They'll literally admit they don't know why they're doing it.

So,

It'll be like,

You know,

Oh,

You know,

Why haven't you gotten to that?

Oh,

I don't know.

Or,

Are you procrastinating?

Yeah,

I just seem to be procrastinating on that.

I don't really know why.

And they'll just float there.

So,

As long as you stay there,

That's not deep enough,

Okay?

Oh,

I don't know why.

Well,

Ask follow-up questions.

Like,

Try to understand yourself.

Like,

If you don't know why you're doing something,

Don't you get curious about that?

Like,

I guess that's,

You know,

This is how I live.

You know,

Sometimes people tell me I live very differently.

And I guess I do sometimes.

But to me,

If I go,

You know,

And I guess this is why I go deeper and I understand this stuff.

And this is what I want to teach you guys.

I want to teach you my process,

The way I think,

The way I look at things.

Because if you understand the way I think,

And you can adopt these principles,

Even if it doesn't come naturally to you,

If you can adopt the way that I think to some degree,

The questions I ask myself,

You can do it for yourself.

Like,

You can do it in your life.

And will there be some things in your life that you still need help with?

Yes,

We all do.

But some things you can figure out for yourself too.

But you just have to be willing to go deeper.

We have,

Like in society,

It's just acceptable.

Lots of things are acceptable.

But it's acceptable to tell people,

Yeah,

I don't know why I'm doing that.

What do you?

To me,

That's a red flag.

I don't know why I'm doing something.

Like,

Well,

Whose life is this?

What do you mean?

I don't know why I do something.

That sounds weird to me.

I mean,

I'm not saying that it never happens.

I'm saying it's a red flag.

If I say,

I don't know why I'm doing something,

It's a red flag.

And I go,

Well,

Shouldn't I know why I'm doing something?

I mean,

It's my life.

My life is my responsibility.

Why am I walking around behaving in ways that I don't even know why I'm doing it?

I don't even know.

I just walk around doing things,

And I don't know why I'm doing them.

Or I walk around not doing things,

And I don't know why I'm not doing them.

That's really irresponsible to me.

That feels weird to me.

When it comes up to my consciousness that I don't know why I'm doing something,

I dive into it.

I don't like the idea of me walking around just not being in control of my own life.

I don't know.

I just don't do things.

I don't know why.

To me,

Like I said,

It's not that I never do it.

It's just I don't end there.

A lot of people are just like,

Yeah,

I don't really know why I'm doing that.

Well,

You want to grab a sandwich?

It's like,

Stop.

That means there's something that you need to dive into.

When you start diving into procrastination,

You go,

Okay,

Why am I not doing it?

Well,

I don't know.

Okay,

Well,

I mean,

There must be a reason.

You said you wanted to do this.

You can pick anything.

Go to the gym.

Start looking for a new job.

Research a side project.

Break up with your boyfriend or your girlfriend.

Go for a walk in nature.

It doesn't matter what it is.

There's something that you wanted to do,

And you're not doing it.

So why?

Well,

I don't know.

Okay,

Well,

Have you put any energy towards it?

No.

Okay,

Well,

I mean,

Right off the bat,

You can kind of see that it's just because you haven't made it a priority.

That's all.

I mean,

Actually,

A lot of procrastination,

It's that deep.

That's it.

Like,

You just haven't made it a priority.

You just didn't lock it down into your consciousness to make it important.

That's why it's not getting done.

A lot of times,

It's that simple.

You know,

We have like what?

I mean,

I forgot how many thoughts,

You know,

They've measured thoughts.

I forgot how many we have a minute or a day or whatever,

But we have millions of thoughts a day.

And like,

Oh,

I'd like to go start going to the gym,

Or I'd like to take a walk in nature.

That's just a thought,

Just like a million other thoughts.

So if we don't do anything with it,

Like make an action plan,

Figure out when we're going to do it,

Put it on our calendar,

Something like that,

Then it just gets lost in the mix of all the other millions of thoughts.

So that's a version of not making it a priority,

Not taking action on it,

Not doing what you can do where you are.

You know,

If you're sitting at work and you're like,

Oh,

I want to start,

You know,

Taking a walk after work.

Oh,

Can I do that now?

No,

I'm at work.

Okay,

Well,

When can you do it?

Like,

You can take 60 seconds out of your day to figure this out.

Well,

I could do it or five minutes.

Take a bathroom break and go figure it out.

Well,

I could do it at lunchtime at work.

Oh,

Okay.

You know,

I could do it right after work.

Oh,

Okay.

Put that on,

Put a reminder on my calendar.

Okay,

Cool.

Like,

A lot of times that's enough because you took some action,

You made a priority.

You differentiated it from the other million thoughts that you had that day.

Okay.

So a lot of times it's just because I didn't make it a priority.

I didn't say,

Hey,

I really want to do this.

What is it going to take for me to do this and then make a plan?

You know,

So sometimes procrastination is that.

Now we're going to go,

You know,

Into longer term procrastination.

Things that you really want to do.

You know,

I'm talking about the procrastination.

Why people stay stuck at a job that they don't like for 30 years.

Or stay in a relationship that they don't like for 10 years.

Or just don't live the life of their dreams.

You know,

Most people don't live the life of their dreams just because of procrastination.

They just put it off.

That's all.

That's all.

It just.

Which is wild to say.

I mean,

Like,

To me.

It's wild to say.

You know,

Like,

I couldn't imagine.

Like,

I don't have lots of fears.

I don't have a lot of fears that,

Like,

Lots of other people have.

Like the fear of death.

Or the fear of failure.

Or,

Like,

Lots of that stuff.

But I really don't like the feeling of,

Like,

Looking back at my life.

And thinking that I just didn't really do anything with it.

Like,

I didn't really take it seriously.

I didn't pursue my dreams.

I didn't try to accomplish what I wanted to.

I just kind of coasted through.

And now I'm going to die.

Like,

To me,

That's just,

Like,

Such a waste.

You know,

When you look at life.

Like,

That's,

Like,

The only thing we have while we're here.

That's our gift.

Like,

You're given life and free will to do whatever you want with it.

And what we're going to do is just go to a job that we don't like.

Or stay in a relationship that we don't like.

And then just not really feel the happiness of fulfillment.

And then,

You know,

Distract ourselves.

You know,

This is why we're filled with distraction in society.

You know,

Busyness is a huge distraction.

Alcohol and drug abuse.

Legal drug abuse.

Shopping.

Sex.

Relationships.

People get addicted.

Phones.

We get addicted to absolutely anything and everything.

Why?

Because it's a distraction.

It's unnatural to not want to chase your dreams.

It's unnatural to have a heartfelt desire somewhere within you.

Even if you're not conscious of it.

Or know exactly what it is.

We all have something that we want to do or accomplish in our lives.

Or just things we like.

A hobby.

Anything.

Like,

We all have desires.

And to not pay attention to those and pursue them is unnatural.

It's literally unnatural.

Because that's nature.

That's why they're there.

They're there for us to pursue them.

So we're supposed to be doing that.

So for us to not pursue what brings us joy.

Or what captures our attention.

For us not to pursue those experiences.

We live in an experiential world.

We're supposed to be experiencing things.

If we just want to sit around floating on a cloud all day,

Not doing anything.

We could have stayed on the other side and done that.

We came over here to experience stuff.

So for us.

And it's different for everybody.

I mean,

Some people are very adventurous.

Some people are not.

That's okay.

But even if you're not adventurous.

You still should at least spend your time doing something that is enjoyable to you.

To some degree.

That counts.

You know.

So it's unnatural for us to not go in that direction of that.

So what happens is this.

And at this time in human history.

It's bubbling up more and more and more.

We cannot.

You know.

Our grandparents could work jobs that were just mediocre.

And just kind of get through life.

Maybe even with relationships that weren't even that good.

And our great grandparents.

And for tens of thousands of years before that.

Like it's not okay anymore.

We cannot live unfulfilled.

We cannot live in a dysfunctional society.

We cannot live in a dysfunctional life anymore.

It's just not okay.

It's this drive that's being pushed up within us.

To follow our dreams.

And to actually live the life we're supposed to.

That push.

That drive is bubbling up within all of us.

All of humanity.

More than it ever has before.

And people that are.

People that stay stuck have to squash that.

They have to keep that down.

There's this desire to chase their dreams.

And to experience things and do things they enjoy.

And it's bubbling up.

And if you go against nature.

It's very uncomfortable.

So what people do is they get addicted to things.

And they distract themselves from things.

And they keep moving so fast.

That they don't feel that uncomfortability.

And if you see somebody that's perpetually in motion.

You go,

Why are you constantly moving?

Why don't you just slow down and stop?

Oh,

I can't.

I can't.

Yeah,

Why?

Because they don't like the way it feels when they stop.

It's just the idea of stopping gives them the chills.

Oh,

No.

I have to keep moving.

Yeah,

That uncomfortability you're feeling.

That's because you're not living in alignment with who you're supposed to be.

Your nature.

Your natural self.

The way you're supposed to be at peace with yourself.

Content with yourself.

And your life.

And you're so out of alignment with it.

That you can't even stop for a second.

Because it feels so uncomfortable.

That you want to crawl out of your skin.

Like if you want to crawl out of your own skin.

You're out of alignment with who you're supposed to be.

You're supposed to.

This is your home.

Like your body is your home.

You're not supposed to be trying to climb out of it.

This should be your safe haven.

This is the only thing you have control over.

So it's unnatural to deny yourself what you want.

What you want is your hopes and your dreams.

Your passions.

What brings you joy.

You want.

We all want to experience those things.

If we're not leaning into experiencing those things.

We're out of alignment with nature.

So it's important to go underneath.

And see what's happening.

As we rationalize.

So I'm going to try to kind of explain this.

Using more energy and implications.

So one of the ways I understand things.

Is I try to understand what they imply.

Like words that my brain uses.

What is that implying?

Or what is the energy of that?

That's how I understand it on a deeper level.

So if somebody's rationalizing their behavior.

And they go.

You know let's say that they're stuck at a job.

That they don't like.

And you go well why don't you try to find another job.

I don't know.

I mean it's.

It's hard out there you know.

It's not real easy to just change careers.

That's surfacy.

That's just a safe statement to say.

It doesn't mean anything.

Oh it's not.

Oh really?

Is like so.

Like clipping your fingernails.

Is easier than clipping your toenails.

So does that mean you shouldn't clip your toenails.

Because they're.

As you.

Especially as you get older.

They're a little harder to reach.

Like so.

So we shouldn't do that.

Because it's hard.

Like what.

Cooking a lasagna.

Is more.

Is harder than making spaghetti.

So does that mean that we should only.

Eat spaghetti.

Like who.

Yeah it's not easy.

To just change.

So.

What.

It's not easy.

That's just such a random general statement.

That doesn't mean anything.

So it's not easy to change.

So.

So what.

Like.

So don't stop there.

Go underneath.

Like if you look at the types of excuses.

People give for staying stuck in situations.

That they don't like.

You're going to notice that.

The implication of them.

Is that it's not their fault.

They are not in control of their lives.

It's some external forces.

That are.

That are.

Actually in control of what goes on.

Not them.

Okay.

This is.

The implication of what they're saying.

So.

They say it's not easy.

To change careers.

Well that implies that it's difficult.

And it's beyond their capabilities.

Right.

Oh it's too difficult.

Because it's.

I mean.

Otherwise what do you say.

It's not easy.

So what.

You know.

Neither is clipping your toenails.

That's probably a poor example.

But it makes me laugh.

So.

So what.

It's.

It's not easy.

That doesn't mean anything.

What does it imply.

Well.

If it were to mean something.

Let's just try to give.

It's not easy.

Some sort of concrete meaning.

Right.

So what does it imply.

It's not easy.

Well that would mean.

That would imply that it's difficult.

Okay.

Well why would difficulty stop you.

Because you wouldn't be capable of overcoming that difficulty.

Right.

Is that a logical line of thinking.

Right.

So therefore you are not capable.

Of overcoming the difficulty.

That's why you're staying at a job you don't like.

Do you see.

When you follow it down.

You get.

It simplifies it.

So the simplification is.

Is that you're not capable of overcoming a difficulty.

So therefore it's not your fault.

You see.

There's a difficulty thrust.

Onto you by external forces.

And.

You're not capable of overcoming that.

So therefore it's not your fault.

Because the difficulty is too great for you to overcome.

That's the unconscious implication.

So.

I try to do that with something else.

You know.

So.

Well it's not easy to change careers.

I don't even know.

You know.

I'm trying to lock into.

I'm kind of in solution mentality.

And then I'm trying to lock into problem mentality.

And sometimes I have a little difficulty switching those energies.

And just really letting myself drop into the.

The victim mentality.

Because that's what it is.

It's a version of victim.

It's not my fault.

You know.

Oh well.

I'd have to go back to school.

Maybe.

Have you looked into it.

Well I'd have to go back to school.

What does that imply.

I'd have to go back to school.

Okay.

So you're not taking action.

Because you'd have to go back to school.

Well that means that going back to school.

Is too large of a difficulty to overcome.

For you.

So therefore.

You're not going to chase your dreams.

Because.

You.

You can't overcome the difficulty of going to school.

Therefore it's not your fault.

Because this external force.

Put going to school in front of you.

And you can't get over that hump.

So therefore it's not your fault.

It's the fact that you have to go to school's fault.

Which people won't look into real clearly.

You know.

Like people will say.

You know.

Like what.

Hey.

I don't like school.

You know.

I hate school.

I don't.

I just.

It's just how I am.

For lots of reasons.

Partially it's just because of the way my brain processes information.

I can't.

I can give it this way.

I have to take it.

Take it in this way.

I have to take it in other ways.

So just sitting there listening to somebody talk.

I can't do it.

It's like because 90% of the information.

I'm just not interested in.

So then I lose interest.

And then I won't get the 10% that I need.

So me.

I'm more conversationalist.

I need to go in.

Get the information I need and get out.

So I'm a back and forth information guy.

So I don't like school.

Because they're just sitting there throwing information at you.

And 90% of that I could care less about.

So I just tune out.

But.

So they go.

Okay.

Well,

I have to go to.

I would have to go to school.

Okay.

So,

You know,

What if you're 25?

What if you're 35?

Let's just say 35.

I'd have to go back to school.

What if you're 45?

You have to go back to school.

Okay.

Well,

How long would that take?

How long would that take?

Well,

I'd have to go part time.

I can do it online.

Let's just say five years.

Probably a generous estimate.

So five year.

Okay.

So I'm 45.

If I go back to school now,

I'll be 50.

So I'm going to have to work another at least 20,

25 years.

So for the last 25 years,

I can do what I actually want to do with my life.

If I take the five years to walk in the direction of my dream.

And during those five years,

Those five years aren't wasted because you're actually learning about something you're interested in.

And it's bringing you towards your goal.

So actually those five years that people are thinking are this death sentence that's not worth facing.

It's actually the opposite.

You feel more alive because you're chasing your dream.

You're more in alignment with your true nature.

So you're feeling more alive.

You're feeling more enthusiastic.

Your body generates more energy.

And you're like,

Oh,

So those five years are actually more enjoyable than you're experiencing right now,

Staying at the job that you don't like.

But they dread these five years of school.

And let's look at what happens if you don't do those five years of school,

Which aren't that bad because you're pursuing your dream.

It might be busier,

But hey,

At least you're more in alignment with your true nature and you're heading in the direction of your dreams.

And then you get to actually live your dreams for 25 years.

That's one possibility.

So five years of walking towards your dream,

Being more enthusiastic and being more in alignment with your true nature,

And then 25 years of living it.

Or at 45,

You get to stay at the job that you're in,

That you don't like.

And then you can just live 30 more years doing what you've just done for the last 25 that you don't like.

So 30 years of doing what you don't like,

Or five years of walking in the direction of what you do like and 25 years of enjoying it.

To me,

It's a no-brainer.

But people don't slow down and look at this.

They don't think deep enough.

They just sit on the surface and go,

Well,

There's school.

I don't even know where I'd get the money.

I want to start looking.

Like,

Look.

Try to find a way.

Most situations,

Most stories you hear on TV,

Movies,

Everything,

It's about people finding a way where there wasn't one.

We do it all the time.

I started a business when I shouldn't have been able to start a business.

Collecting food stamps with no money in the bank,

Just getting custody of my son.

I shouldn't have been able to do that.

I did it.

And I don't think I'm a genius.

It's just I didn't let what society told me was normal and what I should and should not be able to do control my behavior.

Because that's an illusion.

It's BS.

Oh,

You shouldn't be able to do that.

Says who?

Says who?

These generalizations about what we can do and what we can't do are such crap.

They're just BS.

You know how many people I've talked about finding a new place to live with?

Usually,

It starts the same way.

The reason that they're procrastinating looking for another place to live or a new place to live that they want is because there aren't many of whatever they're looking for.

There aren't many houses on a lake.

There aren't many one-bedroom apartments.

There aren't many houses for under $200,

000.

There aren't many.

It's just generalization BS,

And they just stop there.

Not many,

So it's going to be hard.

Oh,

There's another generalization.

There's not many,

Generalization.

It's going to be hard,

Generalization.

Neither of them have anything to do with whether you can accomplish what you want to accomplish or not.

Usually,

I explain it like let's say somebody's looking for a one-bedroom.

They go,

Oh,

There's not many one-bedrooms around.

There's a shortage.

I go,

Okay.

There aren't any.

There's no one-bedrooms in the entire city that you want to be in.

Oh,

No,

I'm sure there's some.

Oh,

Okay,

Then how many do you need?

How many one-bedroom apartments do you need?

Just one.

Right,

Okay,

So you need one,

And there are some.

So what's the problem?

You don't need there to be a lot.

You only need one.

If there's one one-bedroom apartment in an entire city,

And you need a one-bedroom,

Your needs could be met because all you need is one.

But people let these generalizations stop them from pursuing what they want because they don't go deeper.

So I'm going to try to take it even deeper now so you can see the implications clearer.

So because this is important,

What we're telling ourselves,

Like on the surface,

It's like,

Oh,

Well,

I'm just procrastinating.

It's not a big deal.

No,

It actually is a big deal because it's a way of treating yourself,

And you're feeding yourself certain information by the way you live.

The decisions that we make dictate how we feel about ourselves,

How we interact with life.

We are responsible for our own lives.

We have to take radical responsibility for our own lives.

So the way we can do that is by understanding that nothing is little surfacy dancing around and doesn't mean much.

The way we choose to live our life and the things we do have unconscious implications that play out in other ways too.

So like I said,

When we're not pursuing our dreams,

That's unnatural.

So it's not natural to deny yourself what you want.

So if you are denying yourself what you want on a regular basis by not pursuing your dreams,

You are squashing your desires.

You are pushing them down.

You are denying yourself what you want.

If anybody denies you,

We tend to rebel against it,

Right?

That's what happens when we can see it when we die.

Oh,

I can't have that cake.

I want it,

But I can't have it.

I can't have those cookies.

I want it,

But I can't have it.

Eventually,

You're going to rebel against yourself because you're denying something that you want,

And that's not natural because it's like punishing yourself.

So we're going to rebel against that at some point because it's not natural to deny ourselves.

So with the dieting thing,

It's better to shift your perspective and be like,

No,

I'm only having one cookie because if I have one,

I can enjoy that cookie,

But I can also walk in the directions of being the healthy person that I want to be.

So it's a step in the direction of being healthy.

That's why I'm doing it.

I'm not denying it because I want it or I'm not going to have any cookies because me being a healthy person is more important to me.

That's my real goal.

I want to take a step towards being a healthy person.

I would rather not take the short-term thing that I think is going to make me feel good and I'm just going to feel like crap after.

I love myself so much that I'm going to go towards a long-term goal of being who I really want to be.

Then you're not denying yourself anything.

You're walking in a direction of your dreams.

That's what's natural.

So we have to make sure we're doing this on an unconscious level in basically all areas.

So we have to rationalize why we're not going after things because it's unnatural.

So it starts pushing up on us.

So we have to start coming up with reasons why.

Why am I not doing this?

We have to make it not our fault.

We have to because if we take responsibility for our own lives,

We can't rebel against ourselves forever.

We can't consciously treat ourselves poorly for a long period of time because eventually we're not shifting the blame onto anybody else.

So it's our fault.

At some point,

We're going to say,

I'm tired of hurting myself.

I'm going to stop hurting myself and we'll choose to do what we're going to do.

Sometimes in my life,

I will allow myself to procrastinate,

But I'll do it consciously.

Be like,

Well,

I should be doing this if I wanted to get to my goal quicker.

Yeah,

But I'm okay with not getting to my goal that quick and taking a day for myself because I feel like I want it.

Or I'm not feeling that good and I want a nice life balance.

I want to be able to be kind to myself and when I'm not feeling that good,

I want to be able to rest and also reach my goals.

And it's not important if I reach my goals in a year by driving myself crazy and pushing myself all the time or a year and a half by sprinkling days of self-care and self-love in the mix.

I'd rather have a well-balanced life and enjoy the journey and have it take a year and a half instead of a year to accomplish my goals.

That's self-love,

Right?

So I'll allow myself to procrastinate if I want,

But I'll do it consciously.

I'm choosing to do it and it's an act of self-love.

It's being kind.

Or if it's just,

If I know damn well,

It's not an act of self-love,

I just feel like being lazy and it's not even like self-love.

It's not kindness.

It's just like,

I just don't feel like doing anything and I have no excuse.

I just don't feel like it.

Okay,

Fine.

But I know I won't do that for very long.

Why?

Because it's punishing myself.

It's not doing what I'm supposed to.

It's me choosing to not live the life that I wanna live,

Consciously choosing to not go in the direction of the life that I wanna live.

So since it's my fault,

I have nothing to rebel against.

I have nothing to blame it on.

It's all on me.

So if I go,

I'm not doing anything today just because I feel like being lazy.

Okay.

I can get away with that once,

Maybe twice,

Maybe three times.

If I try doing that a fourth day,

The fourth time I go,

I'm not doing anything just because I feel like being lazy.

The other side comes up and goes,

Seriously,

Glenn?

Like,

Is this how you're gonna live your life?

You're just gonna choose not to do anything and you're just not going to pursue your dreams anymore?

You're just gonna allow yourself to be lazy all the time?

Like,

Why would you choose that?

Like,

Why would you want that life compared to a life of your dreams?

Like,

You know,

Like after doing it a few times,

Your conscience comes up and slaps you upside the head and goes,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

What are you doing to yourself?

This isn't natural.

You have free will,

You have the free choice to either pursue your dreams or not and just be a lazy piece of crap on a couch and you're consciously choosing to be a lazy piece of crap on a couch?

Seriously?

Like,

That's just unnatural.

Anybody with any level of self-love is not going to be able to get away with that.

So you change your behavior because it's unacceptable,

Right?

So this is the benefit of being honest with ourselves.

So,

You know,

So the implication,

The implications that we're talking about,

You know,

What were the,

It's,

We're implying that things aren't our fault.

You know,

It's an external force's fault.

Usually we don't even think deep enough to make,

To come up with a theory of whose fault it is.

It's just fine enough to think it ain't ours.

Right?

People that procrastinate with their lives,

This is what we do.

We just go,

Oh,

Well,

It's,

It's,

You know,

It's not easy to change careers.

Oh,

That's good enough.

Let's not think any deeper because if we thought any deeper,

We'd find out that it doesn't make any sense.

So we'll just stay up here on the surface.

Oh,

I'd have to go back to school.

Oh,

Screw that.

Well,

Just stay there.

Don't go any deeper.

You know,

So as long as we stay on the surface of all these excuses,

They don't have to really make sense.

And if you go deep enough,

You'll find out that they don't,

You know,

Which I've already done with those.

So,

So at the,

You know,

When you look under these things and you go,

For some reason,

It isn't my fault.

You know,

That's the,

That's the,

The,

The core at the bottom of them.

That's how procrastination can,

Can stay in your life.

If you don't,

If you take radical responsibility for your life,

You cannot procrastinate forever.

Like you'll get over it because it's your fault.

If you're not doing something,

You accept responsibility for that.

So after a certain period of time,

You're like,

I have to do something again.

You know,

Now this is somebody that has some level of self-esteem or self-love.

There are people who are so depressed and think so little of themselves that they're just like,

No,

I'm a useless piece of crap.

And this is what I do.

I don't do anything consistently.

And that's who I am.

I'm just a piece of crap.

Now that's a lie too.

You know,

That doesn't have any truth to it,

But people will push themselves into believing it.

If they,

If,

If the normal rationalizations have been going on long enough,

Where they need something deeper,

They'll be like,

They might actually go deeper,

You know,

And they'll be like,

Oh,

Well I'm just a piece of crap,

Which of course nobody is.

So,

So the implications are that it's not my fault.

That's what it implies,

Which is disempowering.

We have a life,

We have hopes,

We have dreams,

And we have the ability to,

To reach for them and,

And achieve them.

You know,

Like it,

It kind of depends.

Like some people confuse like a deep heartfelt desire with just something they want.

Like,

You know,

I wanted to be,

I wanted to be a stunt man when I was young.

I wanted to be a professional baseball player,

A professional basketball player,

Professional football player.

Like those things probably weren't going to happen.

I might've been able to become a stunt man if I pursued it.

I don't know,

But I don't think I would have been a professional athlete,

But who knows?

Maybe I could have this,

This plenty of stories of people who just walked onto that dream and did whatever it took to achieve it and have.

So who knows?

But at this,

At this age,

Like,

You know,

It's not going to happen now.

I'm 55 and they're not even my desires anymore.

So like,

So,

You know,

You gotta,

You gotta be careful not to talk yourself out of this mentality because it,

Oh,

Well,

I wanted to be this when I was a kid,

You were a kid.

Every kid has these hopes and dreams and sometimes they're heartfelt desires and sometimes they're not.

They're just something looks cool on TV and I want to be that.

And then we lock onto it for a while,

Whatever,

Man,

You know?

So,

But if there's a heartfelt desire,

I believe that a truly heartfelt desire,

Um,

Then we have the ability to achieve that,

But we have free will.

So like,

Let's say for the sake of argument,

You know,

Me being a professional athlete was actually a heartfelt desire and it wasn't just some fleeting thing.

Okay,

Well,

I have free will.

I chose not to live a life that walked me in the direction of that dream.

So then later on through life,

That doesn't mean I missed my whole life like God or the,

The universe.

Isn't that stupid to be like,

Well,

If they screw up the years between 14 and 22,

Then they're screwed for the,

For the next 80 years.

No,

Like you have other heartfelt desires,

Other things that you can accomplish,

Other things that you can do.

If you miss the boat on some,

I know I missed the boat.

I didn't wake up until I was 35.

You know,

I was an alcoholic for 20 years.

I missed the boat on a lot of things,

But I just got onto the boat once I woke up and started walking in that direction.

And then,

And I didn't even know how to do it.

Then,

You know,

I went,

What,

Like nine years or something.

I think eight,

Nine years working random jobs that I didn't really like,

Um,

Because I didn't even know how to pursue my dreams.

You know,

I didn't,

I didn't know what they were.

I thought I needed to know before I,

Like,

You know,

All the stuff that people go through,

I went through it.

So I'm not sure how I got off on that.

But anyway,

Um,

It,

It's the radical responsibility.

And if,

If I'm,

If I'm saying something isn't my fault,

If I go deep enough,

It's always because it's not my fault.

That's why I'm procrastinating.

I'm either not making it a priority and just haven't done what it takes to kick myself in the butt and differentiate it between other,

A bunch of other thoughts,

Or if it's a long-term procrastination and I'm just not going after what I want to go after,

It's because I'm rationalizing why it's not my fault.

So then you follow that deep down.

And what does that mean?

That means I am a victim of life.

See,

This is what I meant by the implications.

This is what I was trying to get to.

So the implication of my thoughts of it is not my fault is that I am a victim of life.

It's not my fault.

I can't do what I want to do because of external forces being thrust upon me or situations thrust upon me that I have no control over.

So therefore it's not my fault.

Therefore I am disempowered.

Right?

So,

So now I'm a victim.

So I'm settling into victim mentality.

That's the implication of it.

So if you imply that you are a victim of life,

This is how you are going to live other areas of your life.

You might,

You know,

Stay at a job you don't like.

You might stay in a relationship you don't like to.

Why?

Well,

Because you can't change anything because it's not your fault.

You are a victim of life,

You know,

And it affects that is a core belief down at the bottom that we feed by procrastinating.

You know,

This is what I was saying before.

It's like we look on the server.

Oh no,

I'm just not going to do that.

We think it doesn't affect anything else.

No,

It affects everything.

If you are not honest with yourself,

If you not are not taking responsibility for your life,

If you are not living your life on purpose,

If you are not in alignment with your true nature,

That manifests in all kinds of ways.

Like people get literally constipated.

Sometimes from this,

People will develop diseases from this because they're holding their energy in and not allowing it to be released.

They're getting angry because they're a victim and they start having liver problems because they're angry.

Nobody knows they're angry.

Nobody knows why they're angry.

They probably don't even know that they're angry.

But a lot of times people with anger issues,

They have liver problems.

And a lot of times that's suppressed anger.

So what happens is you're telling yourself,

I'm a,

You know,

Unconsciously,

Of course,

You're not aware of any of this.

You're just going,

Ah,

It's,

You know,

It's,

It's not easy to change jobs.

And that goes down and,

And it go,

The energy of that,

It's not easy,

Goes through all those things.

And it's like,

Okay,

What does that mean?

It's not easy.

Well,

It's too hard and I can't do it.

Oh,

What does that mean?

Oh,

That means that I'm not able to pursue what I want to pursue because I'm a victim of life and I don't have the ability to overcome that.

What does that mean?

Oh,

That means I was thrust onto this planet with no control over my own life.

And I have to sit here and suffer on a daily basis because I got Delta,

A raw deal,

And I can't control anything that goes on in my world.

And that generates anger and frustration.

Do you see,

This is what I meant by the implications.

It implies and implies and implies and implies.

If you follow it all the way down,

It's the same energy.

It's,

It's resistance to what is it's,

It's causes suffering.

It's pain.

Like that's not natural to walk around.

It's not,

This is what I mean when I say it's not natural to walk around,

Not doing what you should be doing or what you want to do.

It's not natural because that's the implications.

That's how it rides down.

That's the energy of it.

If you,

You know,

Energy doesn't just shift from negative to positive.

So if you feed yourself a disempowering thought,

Right,

That's where it started.

It's not easy to change careers.

That's disempowering energy.

Okay.

And you don't,

Well,

It's just surfacey disempowering energy.

It's not deep,

Hard,

Disempowering,

And just a little thought.

It doesn't mean anything.

It's stopping you from chasing the dreams of your life.

That's a big deal.

So when it goes down,

How does it actually control you enough to where you don't act in your natural way to pursue your dreams?

Well,

It has to imply things.

It implies you're a victim.

It implies it's not your fault.

It implies that you're not in control of your own life.

So that's the,

I am not in control of my own life energy.

That's deep inside of you.

That's how you stay stuck by believing that you're actually not in control of your own life.

And you have to settle for stuff that you don't like.

That's disempowering.

That's frustrating.

Like when you have a thought like that deep inside of you,

It generates energy.

You don't like that.

Nobody likes that feeling that they're not in control of their own life and they're a victim and they have to live a life that they don't like.

Nobody,

You can't like that.

You can't make that.

Okay.

So as long as that's what you feel your truth to be,

You're going,

There's going to be problems.

Like it's going to manifest in a physical way or,

You know,

Something you're going to bring it into other areas of life.

You're going to let it dim your light in other areas too.

So,

So this is,

You know,

So good.

I think I got there with the implication.

I never know if I'm going to be able to draw that.

I drew that line once in a conversation recently.

That's why I did this podcast.

And I was,

But I never know if I can redraw it the same way,

But yeah,

I got there.

So that's good.

Yeah.

So a lot of this is just being honest with yourself.

That was the only other thing which I've kind of touched on already.

It's being honest with yourself.

You know,

That's a huge tool.

I've touched on it in other podcasts.

It's like,

We just need to be honest with ourselves and go,

I am,

You know,

I could follow my dreams,

But I'm choosing not to.

Okay.

Like I will respect somebody for that.

You know,

I,

Like I won't,

I won't agree with their choice.

I'll be like,

Geez,

I think they should choose something different,

But it's not my life.

But if somebody looks at me and says,

Consciously,

I know what I'm doing is bad for me and I'm choosing to do it.

I'm like,

Okay,

You got me,

You know,

Then fine.

Then just continue doing it because you can't change somebody like that because they're aware of what they're doing,

Why they're doing it.

And it's bad for them.

Like,

That's kind of how I was with my drinking or,

You know,

Like I didn't make excuses a lot of times.

I mean,

I did.

Alcoholic for 20 years without rationalization and excuses.

I did all that stuff on a surface level.

Um,

And with myself,

Probably on a deeper level,

But I,

I was like,

You know,

There was to my life.

It was like,

Yeah,

This is,

This is who I am,

Man.

This is what I do.

So if you don't like it,

There's a door.

Yeah.

It's going to hurt you.

Yeah.

I'm good.

I'm good with being a flash in the pan.

I'll just live like wildfire for fricking,

You know,

Five or 10 years and die.

I'm cool with that.

Like there was times in my life that I,

You know,

I thought like that,

Um,

Which,

You know,

Which it,

It takes some delusion and rationalization to,

To be able to say something like that,

Because it can't be true if you're actually being honest with yourself,

You know?

Um,

So being honest with yourself is huge.

Being conscious of your decisions.

But if somebody is conscious that they're doing something bad for them and they have no interest in changing it,

Then I just move on from them because they like,

If people don't want to change,

They're not going to change.

So like if,

If I had a client that said,

No,

I'm,

I don't want to change.

Well,

Then I'm not going to work,

Continue to work with them because they don't want to be different.

What's a,

What's a,

Like that's a primary block.

I will never get through that ever.

That's up to them to become ready at some point,

You know?

So if somebody is conscious of what they're doing and they don't want to do it or they don't want to change,

Then okay.

You know,

I can't make you change.

It's your life.

You got free will.

No.

So I won't,

I won't like it.

I'd wish that they would choose something different,

But I understand that I can't help them at that point because they're being,

At least on the surface,

They're being somewhat honest with themselves.

They're just going,

I know I should change,

But I don't want to.

Oh,

Okay.

Well,

That person,

You know,

They're diluting themselves on some level because it's not natural to do something that's dysfunctional for yourself and accept it.

That's,

That's,

You know,

They're diluting themselves on some level,

But you can't change that person.

You can't save that person.

So if you're,

If you're being honest with yourself and you're actually doing it in a natural healthy way,

Then you can't not go after what you want to go after.

You have to,

At some point,

You know,

Even if it's just as a hobby,

You know,

Whatever you like,

We have to do what brings us joy.

We have to pursue that stuff and we will beat procrastination.

We will liberate ourselves from procrastination.

If we are honest with ourselves.

And if we go deeper and take responsibility for our lives and understand that we can go after,

Even if we don't know how we can go after things,

Even if we never get it,

We can go after our dreams.

And that's what we're supposed to be doing.

We're supposed to be going after what we feel is important.

Our heartfelt desires,

Um,

What we want.

We're supposed to be going in the direction of those.

And if we're not,

We're suppressing that.

And that causes problems and inner conflict within us.

So.

If you're honest with yourself,

You might be able to procrastinate for a short period of time,

But eventually you'll be like,

Why this is my fault.

Why do I,

I'm going to stop stopping myself.

I'm going to get out of my own way and go chase my dreams because I'm in the only one that's standing in a way of my dreams is me.

And if you're honest with yourself about that,

You'll break through as that's the truth.

The only person standing in between you and your dreams is you,

There are no external circumstances that dictate your experience.

You can get through them.

There are things you can do.

You just have to start looking for them.

Sometimes we don't know what they are,

But that happens to me all the time.

People,

People let that hold them.

I don't know what to do.

So what?

Like,

I never know what to do.

So what do I pick up?

I Google somebody that knows more than I do.

And I pick up the phone.

I go,

Hey,

What do I do?

I don't know what to do.

I'm supposed to start.

I want to go in a direction where you are and I don't know what to do.

Oh,

You can't help me.

Okay.

I'll call somebody else.

Hey,

What do I do?

Hey,

Does anybody know what I do?

If I want to head in that direction,

Maybe I should Google something else.

It's just stuff like that.

And eventually I come across a piece of information.

Another piece of information.

Oh,

How was I going to start my business?

I had to find money.

Hey,

I started asking people,

How do I get money?

Somebody said,

Um,

Crowdfunding.

Have you heard of crowdfunding?

No.

What's that?

Oh,

I searched crowdfunding and I ended up running a crowdfunding thing and making like,

I don't know,

15,

1800 bucks or something to buy some equipment to start my first business.

I didn't even know what crowdfunding is.

You want to know why I figured out what it was and how I found it?

By asking.

I didn't know what,

I didn't know how I was going to get money,

But I didn't let not knowing stop me.

I started asking.

Nobody knows how to do stuff until they do it.

So don't let that stop you either.

You can do it.

So break free from that,

From the procrastination,

Be honest with yourself,

Take radical responsibility for your life.

Understand that you're the only one in your way.

And move through it.

All right.

Peace.

Thanks guys.

Thanks for listening.

I'll talk with you soon.