How To Ask For & Receive A New Start In Life GF Live 9-23-23

What I want to cover with you together this morning for the minutes that we do.

And again,

I will leave time at the end of this talk for us to have a dialogue,

As short as it may be.

I want to talk to you about another kind of joy,

And that is the joy of discovery,

The joy of realizing that in the truest sense of the word,

There is a heaven,

And not only is there a heaven,

But there is a stairway to it,

The joy of discovering the stairway to heaven.

Now we have to be very careful,

And I want to do that at the outset.

Heaven is not what you think it is.

It's not someplace above the clouds where you can eat all you want and not gain weight or feel that somehow or other you are okay.

Heaven is a word that represents that which is above us,

And it refers to this idea that there are many,

As Christ said,

Mansions,

Many levels within us,

And that this process of climbing this stairway is inseparable from realizing that what you are really climbing and discovering is aspects of yourself that you didn't know were there.

It's kind of like walking through a small door into a house,

And you've seen things like it,

And you walk into this room,

And it's twice the size of what it looked outside,

And then you find another room and another room,

And you continue to discover that what you are exploring is yourself and what you are.

Your true nature is inexhaustible in its possibilities,

And the joy is no longer the hope in that.

The joy is in the moment-to-moment,

Day-to-day process of doing and going through what is required in order to find that stairway.

So let me take a moment here and ask Kate to bring up the special key lesson that I wrote for this time together,

And I'm going to read it,

So please don't post in the midst of it so that everybody can get the full gist of it.

Hi,

Liz.

Here we go.

Don't post for a moment,

Please.

Here's the key lesson.

We can either spend our life resisting painful,

Unwanted moments,

Wishing they go away,

Or we can learn to look outside of them,

Which is the only way to discover the truth that sets us free.

Within any dark moment dwells a living light that increases itself with every step we dare take into it.

Within any dark moment dwells a living light that increases itself with every step we dare take into it.

And that's the rub.

Within the darkness there dwells a living light that increases itself with every step we take into it means that first we have to encounter this darkness.

First we have to have those moments where we recognize beyond the shadow of a doubt that who and what we have been and where we've gone and what we've done has done nothing to bring us to what something in us longs for.

And I can't speak for you.

I can't speak for anybody and don't want to.

Your business isn't with what other people want and what they do and what they say.

Your business,

My business is with myself actually moment to moment.

And if I am with myself and not afraid to be myself as I am in each of these moments as I spoke about last night,

Then in the very crux of myself there is a kind of constant disparity.

There is a kind of constant sense that something requires being completed and that somehow I must take part in that process of not just discovering but cooperating with that so that I can take the next step that I might make the next discovery of what it is at once that is in the way of me realizing this next step on this stairway into and through myself.

But with each step that I'm willing to take the realization that there is in fact a new way to look at myself,

A new understanding about myself,

And not an understanding that repeats itself and repeats itself hoping that somehow if it repeats itself it's going to change itself.

So I decided when I was fleshing out what I wanted to speak about today,

Particularly in reference to the material I've been giving and will continue this weekend,

A number of you asked last week when I spoke about this up and down elevator and then how hidden behind a bush that no one could see until they finally could no longer take that ride.

There was a little sign and a little sign that said,

Take the stairway to the right to the next floor,

To the next level,

To the next discovery,

To the next refreshment of the soul.

So I want to build on that.

I want to go back because everybody wanted to say,

Well,

How do you find that stairway?

So that's what I want to look at with you.

What is that stairway to the next level,

To the next understanding,

To our next and new higher capacity to be true to ourselves and others?

So let's look at this.

So first a bit of a review,

And I'm going to revise some of it.

I spoke last week about how in life,

And you are the evidence of it.

I can't prove this to you.

All of us from time to time,

No matter who we are,

Whatever level,

By design,

We hit what seems to be like a wall.

We all know it.

That sudden moment where we realize,

You know what?

Whatever this path is that I was on,

Including this new sense of understanding that I was going to do this way and all that,

I just hit this wall and I can't go any further.

It's clear as day.

There's this wall.

I can't see past it.

And when we hit this wall,

As we always do,

Meaning suddenly we run into a moment that threatens something that we're identified with,

That wall has an elevator in it.

And that elevator is a simple door with a little button sitting there up and down.

And when we hit that wall,

As I described time and time again,

Eventually we realize that we go in and we push the up button.

And what is the up button?

The moment where we run into the end of whatever it was and we think to ourselves,

You know what?

I need a new plan of action.

So I have a new hope in something seen.

That's an up button to me.

I'm going to fight this.

I'm going to do what I can.

I'm going to struggle to overcome what has come over me.

The up button.

I'm going to adapt.

I'm going to somehow agree so I can get through this moment.

That's the up button.

We know the up button.

We also know the down button.

How many times when we've run into that resistance,

Do we simply go in and hit the button,

Says avoid this,

Get away from this,

Change this relationship,

Do whatever you can,

Blame,

Feel sorry for yourself,

Just sink the down button.

And if we're honest with ourselves,

I don't know what age you are.

The speaker is 74 years old.

At a certain point in our life,

We start to realize how many times am I going to run into this moment where all that I was hoping,

Expecting,

Demanding suddenly appears that it's not going to be given to me as I've imagined.

And I'm full of fear.

I feel threatened.

I have to know what to do.

And how many times do we over and over again hit that button?

We go in,

We go in,

We push the button and off we are before we realize that that moment of resistance where we hit that wall,

It's always the same wall.

It's just painted differently.

Maybe there's a piece of art that's different than before.

But the fact is that in that same moment,

Even though it seems like we may be in a different place in a different time,

It's the same experience,

Trying to figure out what to say to somebody so that you can get your way or make them see what you want them to see.

In other words,

In one way or another,

Always trying to rise above this moment that we have come to again,

Believing that either of those buttons,

Whether it's to despair or whether it's to somehow or other be delivered into a new hope of some kind,

That those buttons and the promises that they hold are known to us.

Everything that we do to rise above ourselves when we feel something pulling us down is something that's known to us,

Meaning there's an idea,

A belief,

Some hope in things seen that when my mind latches onto it,

It latches onto it because it derives from that image,

Belief or ideal,

Something that is already held in that.

And I experienced what I call the sensation of a new plan when the plan isn't new at all because it belongs to a consciousness that is repeating itself and only knows how to rise above itself by looking back upon itself for the path,

That only knows how to rise above itself by looking back upon itself,

The content of itself to find the path forward when all that I have done has brought me to this place where the path that I have found within myself,

What is known,

What this world offers has brought me back to this place time and time again.

Now some of us,

God help us,

And I don't know how long that lasts,

Just go,

Okay,

You know,

I'll just go through this,

Or maybe there is no other way,

I'm just going to have to deal with this,

I'm going to compromise,

I'm just going to live this way,

Hoping against hope that one day something's going to happen.

But a few men and women,

And I trust that you must be one of these few men and women,

Or you wouldn't be sitting here sharing this time with me,

Realize I've come to this end again,

But something in me when I come to this end and I recognize it,

Something in me just simply refuses to recognize that's the same elevator,

Those are the same choices,

Those are the same promises,

They're just colored,

Disguised,

Made up differently.

And if I actually realize the truth of that situation in the moment,

I realize that in the face of the immediacy of the reaction I'm having to having my life come to a stop,

The path doesn't go forward.

So something in me is panicking,

Everything that I knew about myself suddenly is up for question.

Everything I was going to be and do,

All that I intended to become,

Up for question.

And this just isn't in the world.

If you're a true aspirant,

You will come to this a thousand times in your life,

Whereby the grace of God,

You are shown that as you are,

You cannot go further.

And you believe that you can,

Meaning over and over again,

The reactions point to solutions up or down.

But no matter how many times we come there,

There must come a point where,

And this is where the story goes on,

Because you asked,

How do we find this next level?

At some point you are there,

As I talked about last week,

And you just understand,

Up doesn't go anywhere,

Down doesn't go anywhere.

They just go around and around so that I'm not going anywhere other than a circle in time created by the known seeking itself.

And that at some point,

God help me,

What I know is not going to save me at any level.

I mean,

For the longest time,

I've known that you're the problem.

And I think that's going to save me because then I blame you and try to change you.

But how about that point in time where I realized that what I know about the divine,

What I know about the path,

What I know,

All the knowledge that I have at some point,

I recognize what I know is not going to save me.

What I need,

I don't know.

That's the moment that fears us the most,

That fears us.

That's the moment that frightens us more than any other moment.

Because who am I other than someone who is picked up by a reaction based on something known being challenged.

The reaction hands me the next thing I know to do.

I take the known path,

Believing it will lead someplace new and unknown,

Really believing actually that it's going to cement or finally consolidate my identity.

And that's the point that everything I do to consolidate this sense of self runs into this wall that shows me that path is a dead end because I cannot consolidate.

I cannot know the truth of myself through the known.

It comes in those moments that are unbeckoned.

It comes in those moments where we let go and realize I do not know.

So let me go on with this now.

So now will be the man or woman who,

Instead of just endlessly reincarnating the consciousness that creates the known,

That creates the wall when it runs into what threatens its identity.

We're there and we're looking at this elevator.

And then because we know we cannot look to these opposites,

I cannot look up,

I cannot look down.

I can't have a plan and I can't punish myself.

They're both futile.

And the opposites in that moment for that split second.

Yes,

Jean,

Those choices are useless.

And they offer useless actions.

I discussed that on Wednesday night.

In that moment,

The opposites are momentarily canceled.

And in the moment where the opposites are momentarily canceled mean I can't go up,

I can't go down.

I can't hope,

Nor can I despair.

I see the futility of it in that moment because my attention is no longer trying to get away from or get to the known.

Suddenly I am standing there in an unknown moment.

It is in that unknown moment that I look and I look.

This is a story.

And there by that bush right in front of the elevator,

I see there's something.

What is that?

I never noticed there was something behind what had obscured all of this time,

My vision.

And I moved the bush.

I look and there's this sign.

And I told you,

The sign says,

Take the stairway to the right to the next level of this house to Sky Harbor Homes.

Take the stairway to the right.

And off to the right,

You see there's this huge door.

Now,

You had known it before.

We all sense once in a while,

We can't keep going the same way.

But we come to this other opportunity,

This other idea,

And it's like a steel door and there's no key.

We don't know how to open it.

We don't know what it is.

We know it's there.

All of us realize the only possibility can't be what repeats itself.

But in this instance,

This sign to continue the story right there,

And the key to that door is right on the sign and you take up the key and you walk over and that key opens the door.

Now,

What is the key?

This is what you'd asked.

This is the transition.

And this is what I want to share with you.

What is the key?

Please,

For your sake,

Not mine.

Just listen.

The key that leads to the stairway to heaven,

Which is the stairway within yourself,

Can only be found and used under certain possibilities.

All Scripture,

East and West,

Points to these possibilities at all points in time.

Maybe you've never thought about it like that idea that those who have eyes to see and ears to hear.

Christ was talking about that apparently in this body that has ears and eyes,

There's some other set of eyes and ears.

They're not physical because they see into what is truly spiritual.

And when they see what is into truly spiritual,

Then they begin to introduce that human being to the impressions that make it possible through those new eyes and ears to find this door.

So now let me give you this idea of what are these new eyes,

What are these new ears that can see and hear new possibilities.

There is a,

I think it's in Matthew,

I'm not totally sure,

I just know that I want to share with you a certain passage,

Because it's all about finding this new stairway within yourself.

Christ says,

And it's rather obscure,

And it was deliberately remained so in all the so-called translations of the new Bibles,

All that business.

He says,

He that findeth his life shall lose it,

And he that loses his life for my sake shall find it.

Don't throw this away.

Don't get excited because you like Scripture,

And don't get negative because you don't.

Excitement and negativity over Scripture is a mistaken reaction because it hides from you through your identification with what you call what you know,

Keeps you from seeing something that you don't.

Let me help you see something that you may not have seen yet.

He that findeth his life shall lose it.

Now first,

Findeth his life,

What does that mean,

He that finds?

He that seeks his life shall lose it.

What does that mean?

Why would I lose my life if I seek it?

Because the life that Christ is using,

The Aramaic,

The old language is this nefesh,

This animal soul,

This body of desire.

It's inherent.

It's natural.

It belongs within it,

But it is not intended to dominate.

So he that looks at life through the eyes of that nature will find what that nature tells them to seek.

That's what that means.

But when that man or woman finds what that nature tells them to seek,

In that moment,

And this is very clear,

He shall lose that life.

And the word lose isn't like it's lost.

The word lose actually means in this context,

It is to destroy that life.

He shall destroy that life.

He will render it useless are the actual words.

So he that finds that life,

In the moment he finds it,

Renders the purpose of that life useless because that animal soul,

That lower nature has a purpose,

Clearly.

So the moment that I am remanded over to and seek in this life,

The known,

Which is what desire gives us,

In that split second that I seek that and find it,

I destroy the possibility of me coming into another kind of life with new eyes and new ears.

And then Christ goes on to say,

But whoever will,

Listen to this,

Whoever will destroy his life,

Who will ever render useless his own life as he has given it in this point in time,

Who will render that useless,

Why?

Because he sees it is useless.

He will render it useless because he sees that it is useless.

That man or woman shall find it,

Christ says.

And the word it is not it.

The word it is he shall find,

She shall find himself.

He shall find,

She shall find herself in that moment when he or she does the work of rendering useless the consciousness and the desire to drive on and find through the known his or her life,

The imagined stairway of possession,

Profit,

Of prominence,

Of all the things the world worships and that we're told will enhance us,

Enrich us.

He or she that sees that the elevator,

This consciousness divided as it is,

That only knows to seek itself above or to run from itself below,

Nevertheless confirming itself with every action it takes.

All it knows is the known and ultimately,

And I don't know how it works.

I'm not here to explain that.

At some point,

The known becomes so old and boring and yet so terrifying to live without.

I've corrected this person.

I've changed that place.

I've done this.

I've lost weight.

I've gained weight.

I've put on this.

I put off that.

I got my fix.

I've done all these things,

And at some point,

It's the most boring thing in the world to even consider it again,

And yet I'm absolutely terrified not to have a path forward,

A known path forward,

A known stairway.

And that's Christ,

Buddha,

Moses,

Lao Tse,

Rumi,

I don't care,

Muhammad,

Whoever has had any moment of light in their life has realized they found that light,

As the key lesson said,

In the darkness,

And that if they step into that light,

If they acknowledge the light for what it intimates,

For its implication,

That in that stepping into that,

They find that light increases itself with every step that we take into it.

So that finding the stairway to heavenly heights begins with realizing the uselessness of these old reactions and our instantaneous identification with them,

Because the reaction are always pointing to a cause,

And when we know the cause is known,

Then the known solution is built into it,

And what's built into that consciousness is the reincarnation of itself.

How do I see that sign behind the plant and find the key?

I see it when I can no longer look for myself in that moment.

I see it when I realize I cannot save myself with what I know,

And then God help me,

And by the way,

You'll actually say that in the truest meaning of the words.

I'm so afraid not to do what I'm afraid not to do.

I mean,

Think for a moment with me.

When we run into that wall,

And we're getting ready to go through the reiteration,

Another round of self-pity,

Another round of terror about what the moment might mean,

And then with every one of those interpretations of that moment,

The solution just handed to us on a silver platter,

Here's the path,

And then failing to recognize that that temptation in one way or another has been there a million times at some point,

I'm there,

And I know without knowing how or why,

I now must not push that button.

I must stay there.

In one respect,

Now listen,

Momentarily completely blind,

I can't see my way forward,

But it is in those moments where that aspirant recognizes I can't relive myself.

I cannot go through that experience again,

And I cannot name an experience that will save me from that experience again.

Because we always get there,

I don't want to go through that again,

And then as sure as lurch shows up in the Adams family,

You're right,

You shouldn't go through that again,

Let's go through this.

Let's do this,

Because can you see this will be different than that,

And whatever I see in my mind's eye that says this will be different than that,

Is that disguised as this?

Not this,

Not that,

Neti neti,

And it is in the moment of that negation,

When instead of trying to save myself,

I understand that this moment is full of an implication that I'm going to have to lose myself.

That's when my eyes open,

Because now I'm not looking through the eyes of this consciousness that only sees what it needs to provide itself contentment,

Or safety,

Or security,

Or to condemn itself.

Now my eyes are opened in a new way.

That's when I see the sign and the key,

And I cannot see it before then,

So that key,

That door,

That stairway always appears in the moment where,

Think of the prodigal son.

When did the prodigal son start a brand new life,

And where did he find a brand new life?

He went back home.

If he went back home,

Was it the same life,

Or was it a new one?

It was new because he was new.

He was new because he saw that he had headed out,

Gone in the wrong direction.

You and I have been in this consciousness looking at life through its eyes forever,

And there's no easy way.

And yet,

When you understand the difficulty that repeating the same reactions,

Identifying with the same situations,

Trying again to save yourself through what you know,

You're going to have to learn to live without what you know as your guide.

When you live without what you know as your guide,

Not because you know not to do that,

But because you have seen the futility,

The useless actions in this constant up and down,

These opposites,

They collapse.

And when they collapse,

Lo and behold,

Right where you are,

And this is the miracle,

Right where you are,

The stairway is there.

In fact,

The minute you see that,

You're on the next stair of that heaven.

Why?

To heaven.

Why?

Because now you can see what's below you.

You can see yourself as you've been.

You can see what you thought you knew.

You can see how you kept trying to save yourself.

And when you are aware of the futility of that action,

That awareness is the next step.

And you stand on that,

And you take whatever action you can based on that knowledge,

And then you get to do that again,

Because there's no end of the stairway,

Because there's no end to what waits within you to bring you into a new level of understanding and to close this talk and open it up to you.

The joy of realizing that you are created to be endlessly completed every split second of your life,

And that every moment of completion,

As I'll discuss on Sunday,

In that moment of completion is a rebirth.

And what is reborn isn't old.

It isn't actually new.

It is reborn.

It is freedom itself.

That's what this work,

Your wish,

I hope,

Is about.

And it begins with realizing,

I'm going to have to give something up.

God help me.

I'm terrified.

Stay long enough in what that nature is saying is darkness,

And in that darkness will appear a light that will show you the path,

Show you the next way.

You have to do the work.

I can't do it for you.

Okay,

So we've got eight,

Nine,

Ten minutes,

Maybe,

If you want to send along a question or a comment.

I wasn't able to look at them while I was talking,

So maybe I can find out if anything's come up.

Angie,

Isn't this life we've been given and this planet we're on heaven,

When we look beyond the stuff that's blocking us from realizing it?

No,

Angie.

This life,

As it is,

As we understand it,

This body,

It is an extension of.

It is a manifestation.

It is a reflection of,

Made in the image of God.

Heaven is the realization that the image is not the thing,

But that the image exists as it does for us to recognize and realize,

Well,

In that moment,

I look out and see the beauty.

Is the beauty outside of me?

No.

The beauty is within me.

Is it my beauty?

No.

Is it that beauty?

No.

It is the marriage of the observer and the observed,

And that union is heaven,

Angie.

That union is heaven.

It's heaven wherever a human being is able to depart from identifying with the opposites.

That's the best I can say about that.

The sublimation phase in alchemy gives a new perspective.

You know,

We are looking at a kind of alchemical process,

Not in the old respect,

And I don't know what they knew,

And I don't care what they knew.

There were schools that were pointing to the possibility that this consciousness is intended to go through a dramatic change from lead to gold,

Meaning from that which is impure into something that's pure,

From something that is divided into something that is unified,

And when it is unified,

All it can see is itself,

The unity of the divine everywhere it looks.

That's the transformation.

That's the alchemical experience.

The brain is meant to change.

It's meant to change because it starts to be embraced in,

And it starts to embrace the light that acts upon it and produces the change.

I catch myself much quicker now than when I fall back to what's comfortable.

Yes,

That's good,

Susan.

That's exactly right.

That's all we want.

Can I just be a little bit more aware of that moment where,

And it is like this,

You know,

When you run into that wall,

The mind doesn't say,

Oh my God,

Here's a wall.

It goes,

Oh no,

Period.

Instantaneous resistance.

The instantaneous resistance we have to an unwanted moment is because this consciousness,

Way before an eye appears to claim its reaction,

This consciousness recognizes that it has just run into something that is not part of its path,

Not part of its plan.

What it is identified,

So that sudden resistance is because it has been identified with a certain path forward,

And now that path's not there,

So its identity is threatened.

Every oh my God moment is because that consciousness is threatened by the appearance of something that,

If we understand it properly,

Is actually there to take us past that moment.

But when that consciousness and that resistance comes up,

We get to rinse and repeat,

Rinse and repeat,

Rinse and repeat.

It's outstanding in how thick as a brick we are continuing to look to and for ourselves in the moment.

Yes,

But,

And I didn't have time to put this into this talk,

Thank God.

You know,

If you were in your car,

And you were going to go on a vacation,

And you got in your car and you drove to your vacation spot,

And then you expired that,

Which is necessary,

And then you get in your car to go to the next vacation,

And when you pull your car up,

By God,

This looks a lot like the place I was just in.

How many times would you make that round trip?

So there is something in us that can remember,

Because it's not blinded by the thrill of a sensation born of a new identification.

It can suddenly see,

Holy cow,

You know,

I've been afraid a gazillion times.

I felt inadequate a gazillion times.

And every time I'm afraid and feel inadequate,

Lo and behold,

There's the elevator,

Go up.

I'm going to become a shark amongst human beings.

I'm going to win.

I'm going to do this.

I'm going,

I'm going.

I'm going to stand in the elevator right back,

Same floor,

Same experience,

Same with going down.

I mean,

How many times can you feel sorry for yourself before you recognize that's stale bread?

I want new bread,

New nourishment.

And the new nourishment comes with recognizing,

As you've just said,

I'm back where I was.

I can't repeat myself again.

Let me remain where I am,

Willing to see what I have not been willing to see.

And if you stand there,

You will see something new about the old consciousness.

That's the stairway.

Suddenly I am released from what I have realized about,

I am released from what I have realized about this consciousness that it did not know about itself,

But that I have been given to see now that I have new eyes,

Meaning that I'm not looking where I always usually look.

Yes,

The trying to change keeps us in the loop.

Yes.

It's a funny thing.

We try to change.

You don't need to try to change.

What you need to see is that you're not.

When you see that,

Then you can no longer participate in the useless action of trying to change yourself.

That is what change is.

I give myself,

Instead of destroying my life,

Losing my possibilities,

I give all of that up.

And lo and behold,

There's the new possibilities right in front of me.

Boris,

Meditation has helped me become more aware of what's happening to be more observant.

Is there something else to quell the subduction,

The seduction of those impulses?

Yes,

Please listen,

Boris.

You mustn't try to quell those impulses.

You see,

This is conflict.

On one hand,

I am an impulse machine.

That's what this nature is.

This unconscious nature is a desire machine trying to complete itself through the opposites.

It can't do it.

Impulse,

Impulse,

Impulse.

So now I think to myself,

Well,

I shouldn't have these impulses.

I can't stop the impulses.

I'm not meant to.

What I'm meant to do is to recognize those impulses and their promises all come from a consciousness that can't escape itself.

And when I see that I can't escape myself through the impulses of that consciousness,

Then suddenly I have separation.

The weed is separated from the chaff.

Now I recognize that consciousness wants to save itself through its impulse.

I can't do it.

I won't do it.

Then instead of trying to quell the impulse,

The impulse dies because I'm no longer feeding it.

And that's a big difference,

Boris.

So tired of trying to complete something that is not even real.

Yeah,

You know,

I don't know how long it takes,

But at some point a person has to recognize — hi,

Blossom — a person has to recognize that this road — you know,

I'll end here on something I'm going to touch again on Sunday,

But you'll understand why I'm ending here.

One of my favorite country and Western songs is because of the understanding in it.

And the song is called God Bless the Broken Road That Led Me Home to You.

God bless the broken road that led me home to you.

Why is it a broken road?

Because I finally come to that door,

That elevator,

And my path is broken.

I've got nowhere to go.

And I can't go up,

Meaning I can't believe in the impulse,

The promise,

And I can't believe in the pain anymore.

I'm just there without the known.

That's the breaking of the road.

And the knower and the known are realized by another order of consciousness as being the same.

And when they are finally seen as being the same,

Suddenly there's an altogether new kind of knowing that doesn't have an identity.

It's based in awareness.

And that new identity based in awareness leads me home to you,

Because that is where my Father is in the kingdom of heaven,

In this awareness and the stairway that leads to all of the new possibilities that await us if we're willing to go and wait in that darkness for the light to reveal,

As it will,

That every step we take into it brings more light.