The Peace And Joy Of Just Being Yourself GF Live 11-09-24

I don't know how many of you join because you see the title of the material that I intend to present,

But in case you didn't see it,

It's a rather simple title because it surrounds actually a rather simple idea,

And it has to do with this idea of realizing the peace and the joy,

In the truest sense of the word,

Of just being yourself.

Why is it so hard to be myself?

That's what we're going to look at,

Because in the end,

There's an astonishing revelation that interferes with one's native right to live without fear,

And the three stories,

The key lessons,

Are all going to point to that.

So let's get underway.

Kate will bring up the first key lesson,

And then we'll get rolling.

Read along with me,

Everybody,

Please.

The only thing a thousand failed attempts to find the peace we seek proves is this.

Some unknown part of us we've mistaken as being us keeps looking in all the wrong places.

This is why we must have new true self-knowledge,

Because the journey to silent joy begins within us or not at all.

Those are two words that don't go together usually,

Silent joy,

Silent gratitude,

Silent peace.

And the reason they don't go together usually is because for us,

Joy,

Peace,

Gratitude is always a sense of self derived from a conversation that one is having with oneself,

Describing to oneself the moment they're in.

And we're not looking for the description of life,

We want to be ourselves a part of real life that requires no one outside of it,

No one talking about it in order to know the depth and breadth of what is authentically beautiful,

Good,

And true.

So I have three stories that I'm going to share with you.

Each one builds on the other.

I hope that you can use your intuition and your willingness to understand the interior connection of these kind of stories to let it build in you an understanding that in one way can't come in any other way.

This is meaning today's talk is part of what I intend to continue tomorrow.

I speak twice a week at the streaming online.

I'm not allowed to advertise it,

But I can tell you that it's free.

I can tell you that you're welcome to join me.

And all you have to do is go search me out online or just go to my profile here.

And you can learn where I give these free talks.

Nothing to join,

Always streamed,

Always archived.

Let's get into it.

First story.

I like to use from time to time the idea of a senior angel and an apprentice angel.

And what these two characters always represent in the stories that I tell is that they have a certain role within you and I.

The senior angel within us is what the Native American used to say when we're the ones we're waiting for.

When we realize the truth,

It isn't that the truth has been somewhere outside of us.

The understanding,

The wisdom was always there innate,

Only had been buried or misunderstood.

The apprentice angel represents the part of us that's always struggling to get to what it already has within it,

But never quite has the chops,

Never quite knows how to make that journey.

So this is a story where the senior angel is beginning again to educate the apprentice angel.

They're on a journey and they often go because there is no greater place in the universe.

They often visit the earth because they can see all of the follies,

Yet at the same time,

Some of the freedoms that all human beings are intended to discover and begin to live with as they begin to awaken inwardly to this part of themselves that knows what is true and good.

So they're sitting there and the apprentice angel is wondering what in the world is going on because the senior angel has taken them to a place where there's like a line of human beings,

More or less kind of weaving its way through a city.

And as they're walking,

These human beings,

The apprentice angel notices there's like all of this dust,

Something on the ground.

And as they shuffle their feet,

Because they're not walking upright,

They're kind of shuffling along,

Much like you might see in movies where people are chained and headed to the mines someplace,

They're shuffling.

And as they're shuffling,

All of their feet are kicking up this dust into the air.

And not only are they kicking this dust up into the air,

But from time to time,

One of them will stop,

Which stops the whole line,

And they scoop up whatever that dust is,

And they put it in a little bag they've got inside of their coat and even fight with each other from time to time about that dust and who's going to get the most of it.

The apprentice angel turns to the senior angel,

This is a strange thing,

Man.

What in the world is going on?

And what is that stuff?

What are they kicking up into the air,

Making it hard for them to breathe?

And then wanting to collect it,

What's that about?

And the senior angel turns to the apprentice angel,

And he says,

It's good that you can see what you can see now,

But what you don't understand is that you have to realize that what you're seeing,

What these human beings are shuffling through and kicking up into the air,

These ashes,

Senior angel said,

They are the lifeless remains of what remains from the mistaken choices that these human beings have made in the past,

The remains of choices that changed absolutely nothing about their lives,

Let alone their world.

The apprentice angel is stunned to see this,

But he can kind of get the idea,

Having visited and studied human beings for so long,

And he says to the senior angel,

Okay,

I get it.

There is a residue,

Isn't there?

It's like it's wherever they walk because they keep walking into the same thing they keep making,

But why in the name of heaven are they stopping to collect it?

It's useless.

And the senior angel said,

Well,

It's not useless to them.

How so?

Asked the apprentice angel.

Because they take it home and in their misunderstanding of what it is that they've collected,

They use it to fertilize the hopes of yet some other choice they're going to make that might free them from their past choices.

Have you ever noticed how when things aren't the way you want them,

How the mind is,

And what would be the right word,

How the mind is drawn into the consideration of the past,

Of looking at what is blamed for the pain that it is experiencing,

And then as it analyzes its own past,

It believes that the analyzer,

The sense of self that's looking at it,

Actually understands the condition and then makes these choices in more thought,

In more identification with these images,

Which are merely the reconstituted dust of what failed to deliver them in the first place.

And then that fertilizes the mind.

The mind feels enriched as it runs through the possibilities that it imagines await it,

Failing to see that what it is trying to get away from are the failed possibilities produced by choices that change nothing about their lives.

It's a strong story.

No one wants to see it.

Who am I without my thoughts?

These reactions,

These things that so powerfully define me,

Whenever I find myself confined,

As I do almost on a daily basis,

By not wanting the experience that my own reaction is producing to what?

To the world that my mind coalesced and put together as my experience what I want,

And then I get to it and I realize,

Oh,

This isn't what I want at all.

I have been looking again in all the wrong places.

I think that's one of the things that's so hard for aspirants.

We're conditioned,

All of us in one extent or another,

To put our faith and our hope in things seen.

And so thorough is this hope in things seen,

And as St.

Paul had said,

Who puts their faith hopes in things seen?

Our hope must be in things unseen.

So firm is our faith in things seen that it never,

Ever dawns on us that the suffering that we are involved in almost on a daily basis is because first we imagined something we needed to free us,

A time,

A place,

A person,

A situation,

And could not see that in that moment what we had vested our hopes in was as imagined as the sense of self that thought it had to escape by using the same nature,

The condition that it felt itself to be a captive of.

That's what is hard for us to grasp,

That it's not what we see outside of ourselves that creates this condition of conflict.

What we see outside of ourselves begins within ourselves,

And that you can't see something in the world,

Let alone have this negative reaction to it,

Without wanting to see something other than what is right there in front of our own eyes.

So that it is out of denial that we hope to discover a way to escape a nature that whatever it creates,

It creates in its own image and cannot escape its own activity.

Let me get on to the next story.

So here we are in a monastery,

And there's a young woman,

A young adept.

She wants to grow.

She wants to understand the truth.

She comes to the master and she says,

I don't understand.

I see other disciples.

It looks like they have some modicum of peace.

I don't.

I read,

I write,

I do all of these things,

And no matter how much I'm engaged in the activities of the monastery and the things prescribed,

I can't find myself.

I can't find my true self.

What am I going to do?

I've looked everywhere.

I've done everything.

And the master,

Realizing that she might be ready for a specific kind of lesson,

Says to her,

All right,

Tell you what,

I'm going to give you some special education.

I want you to meet me tomorrow morning in the kitchen at 5 a.

M.

Now already she has a reaction,

And she has no idea why she would meet the master in the kitchen.

She thought he might take her into one of the inner circles of the temple and show her something yet to be discovered on a wall or a painting or something.

But she says,

Okay,

And she meets him the next morning in the kitchen.

And he's sitting there and he's stirring some porridge or something like that,

And she's waiting for the lesson.

And he turns to her and he says,

Listen,

I want you to go out to the chicken coop and I want you to get me a cup of honey from it.

Now she knows what's the chicken coop.

There's no honey in the chicken coop.

And she says,

But master,

And he stops her because he knows what she's going to say.

He said,

Go to the chicken coop and get me a cup of honey.

Now she's thinking,

Well,

Maybe there's some honey hidden in the chicken coop,

Special honey that if I eat it,

It'll illuminate me.

So she goes out,

Looks throughout the chicken coop,

Finds no honey,

Comes back in.

Master,

I couldn't find it.

He said,

Are you telling me that you're not going to do what I asked?

Get out there and find that honey in the chicken coop.

Again she goes out three,

Four,

Five times this happens.

And each time she comes back,

He says,

Go back.

Finally,

The student loses it.

She just literally loses it and says,

Master,

It's not out there.

What you're asking me to find is not out there.

And he looks at her very calmly,

Her irritation and anger,

Water off of a duck's back.

And he says,

That's exactly right.

And neither is who you are looking for to be found outside of this moment.

That's exactly right.

Neither is who you are looking for is to be found outside of this moment.

Now let me summarize the first two stories.

Let's bring up the second key lesson,

Kate.

And please,

I would urge you,

Write it down.

It'll remain posted and it's posted on my website when this talk is posted there.

And all Insight Timer talks are posted on my foundation.

Read along with me.

A great spiritual truth.

You can't be looking for yourself and be yourself at the same time.

You can't be looking for yourself and be yourself at the same time.

I think when we hear or read something that's true,

I know it is for me.

Like I can't quote it directly,

But I think it was Blake,

William Blake,

Who said something along the lines that,

You know,

We make this incredibly long journey.

We go through all of this business only to wind up where we started.

Now you hear that and you go,

I kind of like that.

And yet,

If I'm only going to wind up where I started,

Why do I have to go through this long journey?

What is all of this searching about?

What is this trying to find honey in a nature that can pretend to be sweet,

But that of itself has no immediate kindness,

Only questioning,

Only concerns,

That has a nature that has no peace in it?

The only peace this nature has is when it imagines and momentarily achieves what it might have dreamed would make it whole so that the peace and joy of that moment is inseparable from the conditions that nature is identified with.

And you change any one of those conditions and you both and I know what happens.

So let's examine now together how that happens and what it is that we can learn about it.

Let me break into my own talk,

As I often have to do,

Make sure everybody is following the stories and understanding what we're working to.

Please do you.

And if you don't,

You can say,

I don't understand.

And I'll make every effort as I go through the rest of the material to clarify.

Okay.

So here I am.

Here you are.

It literally happens every day.

It could be something in quotes small or something seemingly humongous.

And God knows that the turmoil and the conflict in our present social situation,

Our present condition,

Nationally,

Globally,

That you almost,

All you have to do is just turn on the news.

There'll be some kind of,

Oh my God.

Now what happens inwardly?

And it's incredibly important that you use your experience.

I'm not here to save you.

I'm not here to do anything other than to just help you see what you have yet been able to see.

That's all.

That's all I do.

Will you see this is true.

If you do see what's true,

Then the very relationship that you have with awakening to a part of yourself that realizes there's still something deeper and truer for you to realize it begins its own process.

So here's this moment.

And if you've ever watched yourself in moments like this,

What happens when you have this immediate resistance,

This immediate negative reaction,

What happens inside of us?

The split second that takes place,

There is a fundamental divide.

On one hand,

There is a summary resistance to anything that is threatening something that we didn't even know at that point in time that we were so identified with that the smallest change in the direction of the wind turns us around.

And suddenly we're looking at a storm of thoughts and feelings.

And as this unwanted experience arises,

Falsely blamed on the condition,

Instead of understanding,

It's the attachment of this unconscious nature to a false sense of self.

The minute that that tumult starts,

What does this mind do?

It starts looking for shelter from that storm.

That's what this nature does.

When in the middle of a storm,

It says to itself,

Oh my God,

I must now find shelter from this storm.

And that seems logical to us because all we know as a rule is that when this storm starts in front of us,

Seemingly in front of us,

All we know is that somehow or other,

Whatever choices that I made leading up to this moment,

They're insufficient.

I chose this because I would bring that.

I went after that because I hoped it would give this.

And my life is basically predicated in a process of hoping that some choice I make will produce for me at last this sense of being at peace,

At ease with myself and understanding the world around me.

So that we don't see that what we are always making our choices from is a nature that believes the image of what it chooses,

The experience of that chooser,

Is the same as the peace imagined that will come so that we have in these moments where the mind looks out and it says,

Well,

That didn't work.

We'll do this.

I'll go there.

I'll become this.

I'll adapt a new persona.

Now you don't hear yourself saying,

I'm going to adopt a new persona.

But when time after time,

Some part of you seems to be rejected by what others perceive,

You can be sure that that nature that is the root of that persona that is being pushed away,

Then begins to try to figure out how I can be a better person.

Oh God,

Yes or no.

And for most of us to be a better person means I need a better life.

So a better life and a better person for us is synonymous,

Failing to see that the sense of self,

The pleasure that's derived from identifying with the image is the same as the punishment that will follow when that image is proven once again,

To be powerless to produce what we imagined it would do.

Can you see this?

My choice is always to identify with another image,

To identify with something that feels like it's a part of myself,

But there is no image that is a part of yourself.

Every image,

Every thought that embraces it is outside of who and what you are.

So that just like the young woman in our story,

She can't figure out why the master is sending her to find honey in the chicken coop.

One day she says,

There isn't any there.

He says,

Exactly.

And that's what you need to see that you will not find the sweetness,

The peace of life in anything that you vest yourself in outside of yourself.

And what is outside of yourself is everything that you look to shelter yourself in these moments where that struggle comes.

All of our choices are to free ourselves.

Again,

Please see this with me.

Our choices are to free ourselves from the experience of our own negative reaction to what life reveals in the moment to be something threatening our former peaceable sense of self.

And the problem isn't that we make these choices because you're not going to stop.

We make these,

We in quotes,

Make these choices all the time because we're strapped into literally saddled on a choice-making machine that only knows how to deal with unwanted moments,

Themselves the product of past choices and identification,

And then makes another choice predicated on another desire and its image in order to escape the conflict it's experiencing.

And if I'm explaining this at all,

It's just this giant loop,

Isn't it?

No choice can free us from the consequence of a past choice because the issue here,

And I'm going to have Kate bring up the third key lesson,

Is that we don't see.

Read along with me.

It's an important lesson.

No choice itself does a prison make.

The real prison is born of being identified with the chooser.

I'm going to read it again.

No choice itself does a prison make.

The real prison is born of being identified with the chooser.

An unconscious nature that keeps imagining how one bright day to come,

Some new choice it makes will lead it to freedom.

Meanwhile,

Unable to see that what it's struggling to escape in that moment is the unwanted experience of the last choice it made.

Please let it sink in.

I'm sitting at home.

I look at the news.

I look at my doctor report.

I look at the financial world.

And without knowing it,

Suddenly there's a fear,

A dread,

A worry in me.

My mind brings up what might happen.

Now I don't know that my mind visits these things for the sake of confirming to itself that the identity derived from some former image is still intact.

So that if I just have enough confirmation,

If there's just enough things going as I've imagined and created them to go,

As long as all of that remains in place,

And that's why I look at these things to affirm that everything's still secure.

And the moment that the mind looking for security in the construction of its own images and identification with them,

In that same split second,

Anything wavers,

Suddenly my whole sense of self wavers.

And I'm washed with a fear,

A doubt,

A dread that I believe is the result of the condition that I'm examining,

Looking at in the world,

When it's not the condition that's changed that's creating the conflict.

The conflict is inherent in being identified with any condition that delivers to me a certain desirable sense of self,

Because the greater the desire to derive a sense of security from something in life,

The greater fear that comes when that desire is suddenly proven to be incapable of producing what it imagined.

Are you able to see this with me?

Can you see this?

I talk all the time to men and women with addictions,

With pain,

Sorrows from the past,

And they say,

I'm a captive,

I'm a prisoner.

And then the mind says,

Yes,

You're a prisoner,

Because look,

You're a prisoner of this choice.

And you fail to see that whose choice is it?

That's the whole point of this talk.

No one chooses to create a condition that on one hand promises to bring an end to pain,

And then finds after they've acted out what they've imagined will liberate them,

That they're made a deeper captive of that chooser,

Not the choice.

You can't separate them.

But there's a constant chooser going on in us that we have to recognize exists and begin to do the hard work of realizing,

You know what,

Here I am another problem,

Another frightening thing,

What's going to happen?

Oh,

My God.

And then watch.

Don't identify with the fear that produces the desire that drives us to make a choice to acquire whatever has been imagined.

Become aware of the chooser.

Because if you can be conscious of this chooser,

This sudden upwelling of all kinds of agitated thoughts and feelings connected to,

Of course,

The promise that they can be escaped if you just can enact the right choice,

You start to realize,

I need a new choice.

Something else has to happen.

If I keep answering a fear,

A worry or a doubt,

With what that fearful,

Doubtful,

Upset reaction provides,

All I am is a link in the machine that never stops recreating the conditions that it's then trying to escape with yet another image and the choice to identify with it.

There must be a fundamental change.

The whole of this talk is about it.

And it begins with what we said,

That you can't be looking for yourself and be yourself at the same time.

You can't be looking for yourself and be yourself at the same time.

Tomorrow,

I'm going to talk quite a bit about what it actually means to be oneself.

Right now,

We're just examining,

If you will,

The stress,

The strain,

The problem.

And where we would begin,

Assuming that we understand what I'm describing,

Where we would begin,

Because if we understand,

We have to start in a new place.

I'll say it again.

I have to start in a new place.

And a new place is not a new thought.

Thought is the past.

Doesn't matter how it defines itself or what sense of self is derived from the thought.

Thought is the past.

I can't start over looking to the knowledge I have.

I have all the knowledge in the world,

But I'm a miserable,

Stressed,

Strained human being.

I have no relationship that doesn't have conflict in it.

And I look to my knowledge to explain to myself what's wrong with that person,

And then what I need to do to be a better person.

I'm beginning to see that turning to this knowledge of what it means to be a better person is the very essence of conflict itself.

Because the knowledge of being a better person and the sense of self I'm struggling to achieve runs in direct conflict with a nature that wants nothing to do with being a better person.

It just wants the continuity of believing that one day it will be a better person so it can continue to struggle with life,

Because that's what it wants.

I have to start in a new place.

So let's have the third story.

Another model I use as a reporter,

I often send our would-be errant reporter out to find situations,

Examine conditions,

Meet with people who,

Maybe you're like this.

I know I was.

It's another problem my mind is looking at.

You know,

Most of us don't actually want to believe that there is someone who knows more than we do.

Now you can know the truth of that because anytime anyone suggests that you don't know what you think you do,

You get angry or upset.

So this reporter hears about what we would call a modern-day King Solomon.

Someone who,

Like the King Solomon in the Old Testament,

Has not only acquired wealth but isn't affected by it.

Not only has immense wisdom but has never taken with himself for it.

Someone who conducts himself.

Sometimes words trigger all of these images in my mind.

To conduct myself.

Can you see on one hand that presently our conductor,

That which decides where we're going,

How we're going and what we're going to do there,

Our conductor has tremendously deceived us because it promises us to deliver to the new far country.

And when we don't get to the far country,

We find ourselves further and further away from it because we have a false conductor to conduct myself.

To be able to realize in any given moment that,

For instance,

Another person's negative reaction does not mean it has to be met by a subsequent corresponding negative reaction.

But rather if I can conduct myself,

I can use the energy literally created in that moment,

Not just to affect a true change in myself because I'm present to myself in that moment,

But because I am changing as the moment unfolds,

So might the person I'm dealing with have a chance to see what they have been like and that's something that their conduct is out of place.

Boy,

If you ever,

I mean,

Look at the world.

What do you think of the conduct of the world?

And I'll tell you by and large,

I know I spoke about this on Wednesday night.

Most of us think the conduct of the world,

Half of it's dead wrong.

And the reason half of it's dead wrong,

Because the other half that I know,

I'm the embodiment of.

The true conduct has no enemies in it.

So here's this reporter.

Here's about this modern day King Solomon.

And he goes to me,

He said,

Look,

I want to understand what's going on.

You seem to have achieved not only everything that most of us dream of achieving,

But you don't seem at all identified with it,

Impacted at all.

I hear stories all the time about the way that you treat the people who work for you,

How you go out of your way.

You always have an encouraging,

An encouraging word that you're always trying to promote everybody,

Asking them to take the next step up,

Even if it means perhaps a change in what you're.

So I want to understand what's going on.

How did you find this freedom that not only that,

I guess he said that maybe that maybe that was what the reward,

Because I know that the reporter said that I think in terms of freedom being related to desires I have being acquired,

Please,

I'm begging you.

I want to know what it is that happened to you that brought you to this place where you are a man or a woman who is always properly conducted,

Being led?

The man says,

Well,

I've tried to explain this before,

He said,

But I'll try with you.

Maybe you'll understand.

He said,

Long ago,

And I can't tell you why.

I had been so involved in trying to create the conditions I imagined would set me free that that's all I kept doing was looking for conditions,

Fulfilling them,

Finding out that the condition fulfilled might have been rewarding,

But it wasn't releasing me from the nature that constantly felt threatened by the next set of conditions that came along.

And so in essence,

He said what I realized,

I realized there was no point in looking for the freedom that I that I yearned for in any image of life.

I saw it,

He said,

All I knew was to wait in an unwanted moment for a new image that I would want to identify with and then try to make myself in the image that came to me.

And he said,

I realized any image that comes to me can't be part of my freedom because the image belongs to my past.

And not only that,

But all I struggle with is try to undo the conditions that were created by me trying to make this image come to existence.

So I realized that if and when,

And I always did achieve those desires,

It always led me to the same place.

And when I finally got to where I saw where it was leading me to,

That's when this,

The real change took place.

What changed?

The man said,

I knew I had to start making new,

New choices.

It took a long time.

But I finally,

He said,

This is where it might get confusing.

He said,

I finally made a discovery,

One discovery that changed everything.

The reporter's like,

I'm all ears.

Please tell me more.

What was this choice?

The man said,

Well,

It,

It,

It brought about what I had been unable to bring about through all of my other choices.

The reporter's going mad,

Which is what?

What discovery did you make that has brought you to this point in life?

And the man said,

I realized that there was really only one choice that had to be made in every moment,

Regardless the condition,

Wanted or not.

Please,

Reporter,

What was the one choice?

The master said,

I must choose to be myself.

I must choose to be myself,

Not choose to be who I want to be.

Not choose what I hope will one day free me from a me I don't want to be.

Not choose to hope in a time to come,

But choose to be myself in the time that has come.

And that is,

If I will be myself,

The revelation of everything in this self that has made the moment the way it is.

I must choose not to try to convince myself that others are wrong by judging them.

I must choose to be present to the self that doesn't know what else to do,

But judge the moments that it itself,

By the way,

Brought into existence through identifying with something outside of itself.

Reporter,

He knows he's hearing something.

Choose to be myself.

He said,

How?

How do I choose to be myself?

And the man said,

Your true self doesn't look for itself.

Your true self never goes outside of itself,

Looking for a desired sense of self.

Your true self never tries to figure out what to do about a moment that it doesn't want.

Because your true self is that which can see all of the elements,

The characters,

The intersection of all that is produced that very moment.

And in that revelation,

That nature,

Your true self understands exactly not just what has taken place,

But it understands what it must no longer do if it wants to step out of that place or more accurately,

Let that place,

That placeholder in that unconscious nature,

Let it move along without it.

Your true self never judges.

Can you see how much activity,

How many choices are based on a judgment?

There is this resistance,

This reaction.

The reaction itself is a judgment.

From the judgment comes this conflict.

What do I do to escape the experience of myself?

And then in the attempt to escape the experience of myself,

The same consciousness begins to try to choose what it needs to get away from the problem that it itself was the creator of,

Whether it was 10 seconds ago or 10 years ago.

Be yourself.

Nothing more,

Nothing less.

Be yourself.

You can begin to understand what that means when a moment comes along.

And if you're present,

You can see in that moment,

Your mind becomes like a mirror.

And you look in that mirror,

And on one side,

You see what you don't want.

And on the other side of that mirror,

You see what you do want.

And you believe somehow or other that what you don't want and what you do want are actually separate and they're not.

Your true self,

Like the lilies of the field that toil not,

Understands there is no moment in which it isn't being given everything that it needs to be a conscious conductor of what is true and good and everlasting.

And in that conscious conducting,

In that relationship,

To realize there is a peace and there is a joy in just being yourself.

And we'll end here.

The more you look for a way out of any unwanted experience,

The deeper immersed you become in it.

Your true self knows that it sees that the more you look for a way out of any unwanted experience of yourself,

The deeper you become immersed in it.

If I actually see I become more deeply immersed in an experience I don't want,

Then that awareness itself sets the stage for the beginning of stepping back and out of that whole sense of self that hopes it can escape itself.

Be yourself,

Be yourself,

Nothing more,

Nothing less.

Let all of this comes up,

Let it go.

Watch.

If you get caught,

Watch how you get caught.

If you don't know what it means to be yourself and then you find yourself downstream,

Whether it's 10 seconds or 10 days,

Having made all of these choices that you can already start to see are turning sour,

Don't regret the moment.

See the moment and the very dissolution will begin and you'll begin to understand what it means to be yourself.