#3 Take Ownership - The Pillars Of Your Self-Determined Life

Hi everyone,

Today is not Saturday but Sunday,

But this seems to be the time of day where we get into a good groove talking about consciousness.

And today,

Again,

I'm not alone because Kevin is with me.

Hi Anna.

How are you doing?

Excellent.

I love them getting into the groove of consciousness.

It's nice how you phrase that.

To groove closer towards consciousness,

I first of all want to know who is Kevin Zultema,

Specifically in your coaching niche,

Which is acceptance and transformational coaching.

So I picked acceptance and transformation as my niche because as you know,

I am mostly focused on people who are more introverted by nature.

And for me,

That is a lot about knowing and understanding and accepting as you are and how you are.

And from that point,

Moving towards who and how you want to be.

And to me,

That is all about transformation.

But transformation for me cannot start if you're not from a point of acceptance.

I've noticed and experienced that many people are not at the point of acceptance,

Simply accepting who they are.

And you probably specifically relate this with being an introverted person?

Yes,

People who are more introverted is the main group of people I want to focus on because I noticed and experienced that many people who are more introverted,

Especially in Western society,

Have trouble with accepting that part of themselves.

Because that is not something that is,

How to say it,

The most common thing in especially Western society.

That makes totally sense to me now,

Because I'm obviously quite an extroverted.

And in general,

I can accept that very well,

Because most of the time it's received openly as well.

But now that you say it,

It might be more difficult to accept that you're introverted,

Because there's probably not too much you're aware of being received with being introverted in any way.

Does that make sense?

Yeah,

That's and you use a good word there,

Received.

Because essentially introversion,

Extroversion comes down to behavior,

Right?

There's a lot behind it.

But how it shows itself is in the way you behave,

And you behave either more introverted or more extroverted.

Essentially,

You're saying that your preferred behavior is accepted by Western society,

Because that's how we see close towards ideal behavior,

Right?

Being social,

Being outgoing,

Thinking on your feet,

Being highly energetic.

Those are the characteristics and the type of behavior that we praise,

That we like to see.

And anything that's not that is considered with a question mark,

At least.

And it's looked at from a perspective of,

Is everything okay?

Are you well?

But simply because it's not that common,

Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it,

Or there's anything wrong with the person.

Very true.

You used three very strong words in your introduction.

Knowing,

Understanding and accepting.

How are these three related to consciousness?

Oh,

So those three words,

And then there's another one in between,

I would say,

Which is awareness.

And then I would say consciousness,

Because semi-consciousness is a deeper form of awareness.

So knowing is just knowledge,

Essentially,

Right?

Understanding is getting and processing that knowledge and knowing what it's based on and how it works.

And then acceptance for me is more accepting that the way things are as they are at the moment.

It doesn't mean that if you're not capable of doing something because you lack the skill that you accept that you cannot do it.

It's accepting that you cannot do it at this point in time with the level of skills and abilities you have.

Doesn't mean you cannot grow into it.

And then awareness is being aware of your situation and your abilities,

Your capabilities,

And also your limitations.

Consciousness to me goes a step deeper.

It's more how you feel about it as well.

So you can be aware of things,

But you don't necessarily have to be consciously aware of it.

It doesn't register as deep when you're just aware of something.

And when you're consciously aware of something,

It gets more ingrained.

It goes deeper,

If that makes sense.

Oh,

It does.

If I try to explain it the way that I receive it,

With every step,

It gets to a broader perspective of fully taking in not only the knowledge but also the consequences,

The strengths,

The current limitations,

Up to the level that you can see how this is in your current perspective,

Let's say shaping your life and affecting your life.

And it then goes down to how do I feel about this?

Whether it connects from the descriptive way of the mind with the emotional connection that you have with who you are on the emotional level.

Did I get that right?

Yes,

That is a deeper and more elaborate way of explaining it than I did,

Actually.

The only thing I would add now I think about it is that to me,

Awareness is more externally driven and more sensory based.

So you're aware of things because you literally take them in through whichever of the senses they come in and consciousness goes from that point onwards.

So that it's kind of past the sensory part and it goes more internal.

And this leads me to the next question in a perfect way because then I want to know why is consciousness important in your opinion?

Because I think consciousness is where you connect with yourself in whichever way,

Shape or form you define what self means to you.

I think consciousness is your connection with and to some people even the essence of the self.

So I would say that as harsh as it might sound,

If you don't get in touch with your consciousness,

Then to an extent you are not in tune and in touch with yourself.

Very interesting.

I have a thought that I would like you to comment on.

Can one say that the awareness of let's say,

Oh look,

I'm more of an introverted nature.

If you don't connect from the cognitive level with this information down to your conscious level,

You can't engage with this information as being part of who you are on an emotional base.

Does that make sense?

Yes,

Because you can be aware of things,

But that in itself doesn't do anything.

Awareness is great,

But then the question is now what?

You're aware of it.

Great start.

What are you going to do with it?

If you stay in just the awareness phase,

Then essentially it's gathering a whole lot of knowledge without doing anything with it.

Nice.

So you say that connecting to your consciousness is that step you need to do for taking action after that.

I think you automatically do that whether you're aware of it or not because you cannot take action without your knowledge and your awareness having been processed in any kind of way.

And if you do that in a conscious way,

Then you take deliberate action.

You make deliberate progress.

When you don't consciously process your awareness and your knowledge,

You can still take action,

But it's more,

I wouldn't say autopilot,

But you're not fully the person consciously taking that action and driving the car or steering the boat,

However you want to call it.

So it's the deliberate action that makes the difference towards steering and away from drifting towards something that you want to achieve or change.

Yeah,

Exactly.

I think deliberate is a crucial word in this topic and this conversation.

I really love this.

Thank you.

As we both have been exchanging about the concept of four pillars of a way of living that gets you from drifting to steering and the acronym for these four pillars is CATS.

Care for your mind,

Access the wisdom within you and around you,

Take ownership and shape your body.

And you are the one that is drawn to support and serve in the aspects of the pillar,

Take ownership of your life situation.

Yes.

How do you see yourself and what you do in this pillar?

To put it very simple,

It's just me having a big box filled with tools that I open and that I give to people and that I explain that I help them with,

Which are all tools to help you move ahead in your life,

Understand yourself better,

Be more conscious,

Be more aware of yourself and of life in general.

I consider it a very practical approach and it is definitely a serious spiritual part to me,

But when it comes to the action taking part,

I see it as a very practical part to move ahead and to do the things you want to reach the goals you've set for yourself.

You need to take action.

And those tools in this case,

When it comes to awareness and consciousness and acceptance are all exercises.

And it's about how do you get to understand yourself?

How do you get to know yourself?

Can you give an example of a concrete tool that you see in the toolbox of the pillar,

Take ownership of your life situation?

Yeah.

Ooh,

There are so many,

Right?

Everyone has values as an example.

We know that,

But there's a big difference between unconscious and conscious,

Right?

Everyone has their values on a subconscious level,

But not many people consciously look at their values,

Whether that's their life is in line with their values,

Whether their values are in line with what they want to achieve.

So getting deeper into that is a very practical tool,

Which helps you understand yourself better and it's an action taking step towards improving your life.

Nice.

As a coach,

There are specific coaching tools we use and many of those are in there,

Which are around knowing your blind spots,

Which can be an eye-opener when you hear those things about yourself that other people see in you that you don't recognize yourself in essentially,

Essentially pieces to the puzzle of who you are that you might not have seen before.

And there are dozens in there.

That makes me curious.

I want to try some of these tools out together with you.

Absolutely.

Yeah,

I'd love to.

So what do you think do people gain out of the pillar,

Take ownership of your life?

You cannot do these exercises when you take them seriously and not gain something from it.

So it will give you clarity,

Insight,

And understanding of yourself.

So it creates a better starting point,

A more clear starting point.

It's essentially helping yourself to say,

Okay,

I want to go from A to B,

But everything around you is dark.

It's pitch black.

With everything you do,

You see a little bit more light coming in,

Slowly opening the blinds with the more exercises you do,

The more light comes in.

And at some point you feel comfortable enough with what you see to start taking steps forward.

Nice.

So in some ways you're literally lighting up your life.

Yeah,

Absolutely.

Yeah.

Going back to the concept of cats,

This idea of the four pillars,

Care for your mind,

Access wisdom,

Take the ownership for your life,

Serve your body.

What in your opinion is the purpose of cats and the four pillars?

To me,

Cats is a very holistic approach to life in general.

It covers essentially four major parts of everyone's life that help you live a more aware and conscious life and live the life essentially that you want to live.

That's an awesome summary.

Thank you.

And there is not only the concept,

But the program that offers cats.

Yeah.

What is the purpose of the program?

It's dipping your toe into the water before you jump in,

Essentially just getting a feel for it.

Like,

Is this comfortable?

How can you see this benefit you on those four different levels of your life?

So it is a concept of proof of the effect of consciousness on life in a way?

Proof I would say when you engage with it,

It proves itself.

Beautiful.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

And I also thank you for the time on this Sunday chatting with me about consciousness and take ownership of your life.

Excellent.

Perfect.

I'm glad it resonates with you.

Everyone out there listening,

Thank you for your time as well.

I hope you enjoyed this inspirational chat.

I hope you tune in soon again for way more and more and more inspiration about consciousness and all its different aspects.

Goodbye.

Bye.

Bye.