Reframed Understanding Of Abandonment • No Music

Hello and welcome to the meditation.

Thank you so much for joining me today.

Go ahead and get comfortable.

Remember you're my best friend.

I'm always here for you now that we're connected.

You know that you have this beautiful soul that's been through trials and tribulations just like you and I'm living and I'm breathing and I'm loving every moment and I'm so happy that we can share this friendship and this joy together and looking at things in this beautiful effervescent way where it truly is a tapestry being woven and as the needle pokes through the fabric the fabric feels tension and it breaks through and it creates a new stitch and if you've sewn sometimes if you don't have a thimble or the right tools you can even poke your own finger and imagine God sewing poking his own finger and it's not an easy process for anyone we're all here working collaboratively and every good deed that you do it is noticed it is seen so please keep being a good person even on your darkest days and know that your team is loving you and caring for you and you may be waiting for that blessing give them time because they're gonna find the optimal moment for you and they're gonna use every single good deed that you have done as a builder for your case to negotiate and strategize and find that key moment for you nothing you do goes unnoticed even your mind is a battlefield your mind you can think of beautiful things you can think of beautiful things and that counts as a good deed so even if you are struggling with mobility issues you can sit there and you can think and that is a good deed in and of itself we get so caught up in the grandiose big amazing moments but truly it's the small moments right sweat the small stuff because the small things matter that's what creates character that's what creates every moment so go ahead and take a deep breath get centered take a deep breath into the gravity that is you you are a star and breathe even deeper now holding on to the planet that is you you are a star you're a star you're shiny you're beautiful you're everything i love you so much i am so blessed to have people like you with me on this journey you make it worth being on this journey thank you so much that is why we are beings and you make it worth being here thank you you're a human being it's espresso self one day i saw two shirts in a row and one was i'm a human bean for coffee and then the next shirt that i saw was espresso self and i thought i was in this strange reality where everyone is obsessed with personifying coffee because i saw two shirts in a row but i didn't see a third so i knew i was back here all right take a moment take a deep breath and tune into the gravity that is you you're a star today i want to focus on this false belief and narrative that has been spun and woven very deep into our psyche and it's causing quite a lot of trauma um and trauma is something that we can have a powerful connotation to that word is used in many different ways in this example in this context i would like us to see it as something that's sprinkling dust and creating context around life that is creating an opportunity for painful tension and if we reframe this understanding we can still be experiencing something but not necessarily having such a deep gravity and exposure to a painful stimuli because of our understanding so let me say that one more time in a different way so that we can fully understand what i mean by creating this context of trauma in this moment what i'm saying is the planet it has an atmosphere around it right and if we create an atmosphere that is imbued with something that is seen as something that should be painful then automatically if it's a then automatically if it's occurring to us we have a higher probability a higher chance of having a painful understanding of what's going on with us part of recoding our system is changing those type of things that are almost a atmosphere or as i said before a sprinkling over a dust covering and changing those from not being understood as having to be painful because it is creating an exposure to people going through those things as having to experience them as painful which ultimately as supportive humans we should want them to have a higher understanding and be able to go through experiences and find a unique coding of understanding that has to do with the intricate web of their life outside of the atmosphere of something that someone else may have perceived okay so let me now go into the specific example that i wanted to speak about today and this is abandonment trauma okay there is so much i think going on with people's family lives whether it be in your immediate family meaning if you are a mother father if you are a girlfriend boyfriend whatever it is in your specific daily life of relationships that you consider family or if it's even extended family of cousins people that you consider calabash right so people have abandonment trauma and if anyone in your network has this it can affect you when i'm talking about so please be aware of understanding it in this way because it's i'm trying to reframe it in a way that's healthy that lowers this atmosphere of abandonment being so heavy in our culture it's very heavy and it is stemming into how people raise their own children because they're trying to fight this atmosphere which we collectively can eviscerate and evaporate and totally change so people think you know i was abandoned at six years old by my father i was abandoned at 10 years old by my mother you can also have a parent that's fully present physically that it has abandoned you emotionally or spiritually or another way right some parents are so busy working that physically they are trying their best to be there but they just can't be so there are so many ways that we feel this abandonment trauma and i even talked to people who have experienced abandonment trauma with simply just being dropped off at school at too young an age it goes on and on and on we can all find moments where we have felt abandoned in our lives so we really need to restructure this because feeling abandoned should not be a feeling that we are experiencing to this level why are we feeling it so much i had experienced abandonment with my father abandoning me when i was six years old and my family creating immense trauma in our family okay and i can get more into that later but this is saying how can we reframe this because it's not healthy for all of us to be dwelling dwelling dwelling and looking for a source of trauma that explains how we're reacting to now current moments of being abandoned right we're saying oh i have an abandonment trauma so this is triggering me so this is making me have a reaction so that means that this is stitch how i was talking about sewing in this tapestry there is something going on there that we can reframe now let me tell you the truth you are nor have you ever been abandoned you always have a father it is god and i am very much connected right now to the definition of god being the ultimate operating system and you have a mother it's mother earth i'm very connected to this definition of mother earth being the body okay so you have never been abandoned you have always had a father it is god the ultimate operating system and you've always had a mother it is mother earth the body and the physical so why then are we as a society are we as a collective so obsessed with abandonment when you've never been abandoned it's one thing to say that you are currently being abandoned by so and so and that is creating a but to say i've been abandoned no one loves me i'm not a good person i'm left all by myself and that's just gonna be the way it is forever and always that is not true nor has it ever been true and we as a collective need to stop that once again when you have been abandoned and you accept it as abandonment trauma usually the internal thoughts that you start to say to yourself the ruminating thoughts are i've been abandoned no one loves me i deserve this what's wrong with me and we go into this self-loathing character that is so unhealthy and i was having an amazing conversation with one of my colleagues we were talking about this worthiness monster this lack of worthiness monster and she had this beautiful metaphor for it where it just kept asking these questions that could truly never have an actual answer and the only way to escape this monster we realized was to understand that it would keep asking you questions that were unanswerable and had zero truth to them kind of like these questions um in buddhism where you ask them and they're meant to not have an answer so that you can sit and meditate on it forever it's like that the self-worthiness lack of self-worthiness monster and i relate to that strongly because abandonment trauma was pushed so deeply i mean i was abandoned at age six by my father i told my friends that my dad had died i didn't want to talk about it it wasn't true he's fully alive he just abandoned me and i've never seen him since i was six i talked to him one time when i was 27 i basically forgave him and a huge weight was lifted off my back energetically but because of my family i was like i can't have a relationship with you i'm sorry but i do forgive you for what happened and thank you for the conversation so that's the relationship that i had with my biological father and it's true i mean having it framed in this way of oh my gosh you've been abandoned you've got through this horrible trauma there was a moment where i was just praying i was so sad this was before i had the phone call with my dad when i was 27 and i kid you not this inspiration came to me and i just realized i've always had a father and it's god i've always had a mother it's mother earth and i i also have to say a shout out to my mom i love you very much i do have an actual mother as well so i don't want her to read into that but i'm saying this inspiration came to me and it said i've always had a father it's god the operating system and i've always had a mother it's mother earth the body and what am i i'm a combination of the two i'm a unique interpretation of that my mind is truly where we all are playing to one another and playing together and that's why i say your mind is a battlefield your mind is a battlefield that is where so much is going on please take care of your mind body and soul we are all going to church and praying we are all you know eating the right foods and exercising those things are very important taking care of the soul and the body the mind needs to be taken care of too i love playing sudoku i love puzzles i love thinking about things the mind needs to be cared for and that is what a lot of my work is structured around is debugging the operating system taking care of the body physically and allowing the mind to be free from these mind bugs and one of them is this feeling that you have been abandoned and that we need an atmosphere of trauma around that if anyone says anything about being abandoned it's automatically oh my gosh i'm so sorry are you okay and how come someone can't go through someone abandoning them and be okay and your initial reaction can't be wow you were abandoned how did that shape you as an individual what did that teach you right why can't we automatically go into the solution oriented place and we're automatically putting them in an atmosphere of trauma because what i'm telling you that is doing to people especially when they're going through something at age six like me and i just told people my dad had died which wasn't even true because i just didn't want to go there we're really forcing character upon them that might not be the best way for them to uniquely interpret this experience and then they have to go to therapy and they have to unpack stuff and they're six years old and they don't even know how to pack how am i supposed to unpack someone i don't know how to pack i'm learning that's a funny metaphor i love that so let's please collectively i would love love love for you to work on thinking of it like this that you have never ever been abandoned because you always have a father it's god the ultimate operating system and you always have a mother it's mother earth the body the embodiment and your mind is battlefield so please take that bug out of there and then try to process whatever you're trying to process and don't tie it to a million instances of that happening and think that now the unworthiness monster is rearing its ugly head and answering you on and now the unworthiness monster is rearing its ugly head and asking you questions that are unanswerable because they are based on nothing but lies you are 100% worthy of having love in your life you are 100% supported right now always and forever by a mother and father just because they're not in a human body does not mean that you do not have them i love you guys so much thank you for being here with me and allowing this space to process these things and basically reprogram the universal mind it takes all of us hacking our brain working together going into this battlefield that is the mind and through my work i'm realizing how unexplored the mind is and i love adventure so thank you for joining me on the adventure thank you for being here you're a human being and i love love love you i i love you so much you are my best friend you are my greatest teacher you hold me just like i hold you and i'm blessed for you to be here so please take a deep breath let that all sink in and come together in your heart you're a beautiful beautiful unique expression of the cosmos and the earth and everything in between thank you for standing by my side as my brother and sister and being a companion here for those around you the journey has so much meaning with you here thank you for bringing meaning to life and i hope that you have a beautiful beautiful day