Welcome to this exercise where we will be practicing unblending.
Unblending is a process that allows us to be with our parts rather than being in our parts.
We all have moments where parts completely blend with us,
Leaving us feeling that we are the part.
In those moments,
We identify completely with what the part is experiencing.
For example,
Think of times you've said,
I'm angry,
I'm afraid.
A lot of times,
Those are parts.
The invitation,
Right now,
Is to practice a way of creating some safe space between you,
The you who is self,
And a part or parts.
Whatever point you reach with the unblending exercise is perfectly fine,
It's a process,
And it is right for your system in this moment.
First off,
Just settle in,
Doing whatever feels right.
Eyes closed,
Eyes open,
Eyes moving between closed and open.
Because some parts might be concerned about the idea of unblending,
I invite you to share a general message with your system.
Acknowledge that they have good reasons for their concern,
Which you may or may not know yet,
And let them know that this exercise is simply a way to get to know your parts better,
To allow them to really be seen,
Heard,
And known.
I now invite you to think of a time when you may have been completely blended with a part.
For example,
If we are completely blended,
We might say things like this,
I'm anxious,
I'm nervous,
I'm scared,
I'm angry,
I'm frustrated,
I'm lonely.
Check inside and see if there are any I statements around right now in relation to the example that you thought of.
If so,
Let's try working with one of them.
I invite you to say the I statement to yourself,
Whether out loud or inside your head.
Just note the experience that comes along with the words.
We'll take about a minute to just notice what's going on.
Next,
We will try changing the wording to create a bit more space.
I feel anxious.
I feel scared.
I feel angry.
I feel frustrated.
I feel lonely.
Does anything change as you begin to use I feel statements?
You can say your chosen statement to yourself,
Out loud or inside your head.
Just note the experience that comes along with the words.
Again,
We will take about a minute.
Let's try changing the wording even more.
I'm aware of feeling anxious.
I'm aware of feeling scared.
I'm aware of feeling angry.
I'm aware of feeling frustrated.
I'm aware of feeling lonely.
Does anything change as you begin to use I'm aware of feeling statements?
You can say your chosen statement to yourself,
Out loud or inside your head.
Note the experience that comes along with the words.
Are you noticing any additional differences?
Let's take another minute.
Now we will play with the wording one final time,
Bringing awareness to the part holding the feeling.
I'm aware of a part that holds anxiety.
I'm aware of a part that holds fear.
I'm aware of a part that holds anger.
I'm aware of a part that holds frustration.
I'm aware of a part that holds loneliness.
At this stage,
It may be useful,
Or not,
To picture your parts as holding bowls full of these feelings.
There may actually be two types of separation going on.
Separation between you and the part,
And separation between the part and the feeling that they hold.
How would your target part come through using the I'm aware of a part that holds statement?
You can say it to yourself,
Out loud or inside your head.
Notice the experience that comes along with the words.
Is there anything new?
Let's take a minute.
At this point,
You may be aware of the part you've been working with,
A part who holds a specific feeling.
In this next stage of the unblending exercise,
We are going to briefly get to know this part.
Let's first explore how this part is showing up.
They might show themselves through thoughts,
Sayings,
Colors,
Images,
Sensations in or around the body,
Taste,
Texture,
Smell.
They may show up in one,
Several,
Or all of these ways.
As you witness the ways in which the part is showing up,
Are you able to gauge the distance between you and the part?
This is the idea of unblending,
The idea of space between you and this part,
Space enough for you to get to know them better.
For some people,
In some parts,
There might be more space.
For other people and parts,
There might be less space.
The distance might even depend on your specific blend of neurodivergence.
The invitation is to get to know what unblending feels like for you.
If you are able to sense a degree,
Even a tiny degree,
Of separation between you and the part,
Let's spend just a little bit of time getting to know them better and listening to whatever the part is willing to share.
I'm going to invite you to ask the part a series of questions,
Each followed by a two-minute period of reflection.
Just see what lands for you and the part.
Ask the part,
How would you like to be with me in this moment?
Closer together?
Farther apart?
Cuddled up next to me?
Sitting side by side?
Eye contact?
No eye contact?
What sort of environment would feel safe right now?
Anything is possible in our internal world.
A treehouse,
A cabin,
An underground cave,
A planet of our own in outer space.
You let me know,
And we can go there together.
Are you interested in allowing me to get to know you better and to update you about our life today?
Would you like to tell me why you feel the need to blend with me the way that you do?
Is there anything else you feel like you'd want to share with me right now?
Blending is one way to get my attention.
Are there other ways that we could use to spend time together moving forward?
Ways that allow me to be with you instead of being blended with you?
Now if it feels authentic,
Extend some gratitude to this part for all that they've shared with you.
And if it feels authentic,
Let the part know how and when you will continue to spend time together.
And if you weren't able to unblend,
That's fine too.
If it feels authentic,
Extend some gratitude to whatever part showed up,
Regardless of the degree of unblending.
