Today we are going to be doing a Stoic Acceptance Meditation.
Before we get into the meditation,
Let's lay some groundwork to better understand the approach that we're taking.
You would have noticed by now that in life we naturally want things to go a certain way.
We want to improve our lives.
We want to pass our exams.
We want to get a better career,
Get a raise.
We want to make good first impressions when we meet people.
We want others to laugh at our jokes.
Maybe we want our ex-partner to get back with us.
Maybe we want to win the lottery.
The issue with all of these wants is that they might not actually happen.
And in fact,
Even wanting them to happen could push them away further.
When we deeply desire something,
When we crave something,
There is an innate level of suffering because we fear not getting the thing that we want.
So when you notice that you are hoping that events turn out the way that you desire,
It's better to just stop.
Instead,
Let's welcome events in whichever way they happen.
You do not have control over the external events in your life,
But you do have control over your conscious judgements.
You can therefore choose to want things exactly as they appear.
Even though it is difficult,
We can train ourselves to do this through Stoic meditation and practice.
This doesn't mean that we can't have goals,
That we can't aim at things.
We are allowed to think into the future and to plan and to choose the life that we want.
But at every step of the way,
We welcome events however they turn out.
So let's practice with a simple Stoic acceptance meditation.
Sit comfortably with eyes open or closed.
Think back to a recent situation where you really wanted things to go your way.
It could be big,
Something related to your family,
Relationships,
Career,
Or it could be small like watching a sports game and wanting your team to win.
Think back to the sensations you felt and the narrative that was going through your mind when you were hoping things to turn out exactly the way you wanted.
How serious or significant was this desire?
How attached were you to the outcome?
Now whether you got what you wanted or different,
Your own judgement remains the same.
Practice in your own mind now,
Saying I welcome this event exactly as it is.
Is there anything in your life right now that you truly want to happen?
Perhaps you want to reduce your suffering in some way.
Perhaps you want to increase your happiness by getting something.
Maybe you're going on holiday and you don't want your flights to get cancelled.
Imagine now things not going your way.
You aren't getting the thing that you desire.
Say to yourself and mean it deeply in your bones.
I welcome this event exactly as it is.
You'll notice that when you do this,
It doesn't take away your agency or make you less disciplined.
It doesn't stop you from doing the required actions to improve your life situation.
But it does help you recognise that there is a lot going on that is beyond us.
There are so many factors at play when we have goals and dreams and desires that are not within our control.
And by thinking that we can control everything and that nature doesn't have its own order is an illusory idea that can cause unnecessary suffering.
