Ethics And Character

Music Hi everyone,

It's Judy Cohen and this is Wake Up Call 363.

And we are exploring the second Paramita,

Which is the perfection of sila or ethics.

Two weeks ago I talked about how ethics from a mindfulness perspective are not so much about following a set of rules.

There are rules of course.

There are five,

The five precepts that form the backbone of sila.

So not causing harm,

Not stealing,

Not engaging in inappropriate sexuality,

Not communicating unwisely,

And not using intoxicants to cloud the mind.

But the bigger point is that when we're setting out on the path of the perfection of ethical conduct,

Being good rule followers,

Even though we,

All of us lawyers,

Definitely know how to do that,

That isn't necessarily going to be our highest and best motivation.

Our highest and best motivation is probably,

And according to the ancient texts,

Wanting to develop our own good character.

And to do that we pay attention.

So in the case of ethics and developing our own moral ethical character,

We pay attention specifically to what happens when we speak and act ethically and what happens when we don't.

In other words,

We pay attention to cause and effect or karma in its most down-to-earth form.

So we can also be mindful that our words and our actions,

They only slide into that chain of cause and effect when we're being intentional,

When we're being volitional.

But that doesn't give us as much of a buy as it might sound like it does.

Because plenty of things that pop out of my mouth,

For example,

That I could say aren't volitional,

You know,

I could claim plausible deniability and say,

Oops,

I didn't mean that.

But that wouldn't be exactly right.

Because volition,

Intention are very often present and we don't see them.

Or a more accurate way of saying that might be we don't take the trouble to see them,

We aren't mindful of them.

So one way to see intention or volition is to slow things down.

Now take a moment before we say or do anything and ask ourselves,

What's my intention here?

And I like the practice of WAIT,

Or Why Am I Talking,

W-A-I-T,

As an amusing acronym,

But it's also useful.

So ask yourself that question more or less rhetorically.

And then don't talk or act until you know the answer,

Right?

Take that moment using your mindfulness practice and see what your intention is.

Am I about to say this to be helpful?

Am I about to say this to be kind,

To be a good advocate,

To be a good teacher?

Or am I about to say this thing to be right,

To win,

To look better,

To prove something?

Yeah?

Another way to see intention or volition is to look at the effects of our words and actions after the fact.

And I mentioned before that cause and effect is like nature.

It comes from old ancient Indian metaphors about agriculture.

Each word,

Each action is a seed,

A very particular seed that can only ripen into the fruit of that seed.

So an action is a seed.

So an apple seed,

It can only ripen into an apple tree that bears apples.

Kind deed or compassionate act ripens into a feeling of kindness or care on the part of the recipient.

Even if we aren't aware that loving kindness is the seed and words or actions that are seeded with ill will,

Whether or not we've taken that mindful moment to examine our intentions,

They ripen in the person who is their recipient into a feeling of being harmed.

You know,

How many times have you noticed someone wins or tents up or look away in response to something you said or did?

I know I've noticed that more times than I wish I had.

So if we're paying attention and we probably need to be in the habit of paying attention,

We probably need to have a practice of paying attention,

A mindfulness practice,

Right?

There's a better chance we'll see and know before we say or do anything what our intentions are because we're looking,

Which gives us time to adjust and then to align them with the five precepts,

Particularly the first one of non-harming.

But even with a strong mindfulness practice,

We might forget to pay attention.

We will forget to pay attention.

And that doesn't mean the intention isn't there.

Again,

It just means we don't notice it before we open our mouths or our screens or walk into a room or start up our car.

So we miss the intention or we miss even looking for it,

Even being mindful that intention is there.

We've said or done the thing.

It's the old Zen saying,

You know,

You can't unring the bell,

Right?

What do we do?

Okay.

So the bell is so the bell is rung,

But still really we persevere with our practice.

And this is where the courage and grace part of mindfulness comes in.

Moment to moment non-judgmental attention with courage and grace.

So the bell is rung or maybe it's still ringing and it's not too late.

It's never too late.

We can use our mindfulness practice to see the fruits of our words or actions with courage.

We can see the joy ripening from a kind seed or pain or resentment or fear ripening from an unkind one.

Again,

From the seeds we planted consciously or unconsciously,

Knowingly or unknowingly.

And then we can work backwards with courage,

With grace,

Becoming aware of what our intentions were and if they weren't in alignment with the ethical moral character we want to be building,

Right?

We realign.

And also we probably apologize,

Right?

So for me this is not easy.

I don't want to make it sound easy,

Although maybe it's easy for you.

I don't know.

For me it's really painful to see that I've caused harm.

And I think that's a good thing,

Right?

In the sense that it points to this difference between following a set of rules and cultivating kindness and compassion as habits of mind,

Habits of heart.

These durable default qualities of the heart and mind that are cultivated to become durable default qualities and then seed everything or most everything we say and do,

Like Naomi Nye says,

And then go with us like a shadow or a friend.

And I think we can do this even as advocates.

I think we can do this even as adversaries.

So we don't get a bye when we're not aware of our intentions.

We don't get to say those words.

Those were things I said without any intention,

Things I did without any volition,

Because mindfulness enables us to see that intention is almost always under there,

Influencing every seed and manifesting as either a red delicious apple or a shriveled bruised apple.

A couple of weeks ago I left you with some questions at the very beginning of this investigation of ethics and the top three were can we use our mindfulness practice to pay attention to our intention or volition when we speak or act?

So yes,

I think we can.

And we practice intentional moment-to-moment attention with courage,

With grace,

And slowly but surely we start to see our intentions before we make a move or if not then at least after.

That was the first question.

Second one is when we do that can we notice wholesome real-time consequences when our intentions are wholesome and aligned with CELA?

Yes,

Yay,

Right?

It's not only that we can see when we've hurt someone.

I mean we want to do that but we also can see and we want to see when someone is delighted by something we say or do.

No,

That's a really wonderful and important thing to take in.

And then what about the unwholesome real-time consequences of not being aligned with CELA?

And yes to that too which can be pretty uncomfortable but it's also the good news,

Right?

Because then we can say to ourselves,

Oh,

You know,

That's how that played out.

Eek.

You know,

I don't want to do that again,

Right?

So the stronger our mindfulness practice the more we get to choose our intentions and the more we look at that choice the more likely we are,

I think,

To choose kindness and compassion.

So you know here we are again simple,

Simple,

Simple,

Not easy but simple.

Okay everybody so let's sit.

Finding a posture,

The one that's the most supportive for you today.

And dropping into the present moment.

And doing that by giving the attention someplace to land the breath,

The body,

Sensations in the body,

Sound in the environment,

Choosing.

And then very,

Very gently but intentionally resting the attention on this object of awareness,

Resting the attention on this object of awareness.

So you and then beginning right here wherever you are what is your intention right now?

So right now since you're sitting and you're sitting with yourself,

If you are doing that,

What is your intention towards yourself?

Can you set the intention to be kind to yourself?

You know it doesn't have to be a whole life thing it can just be for this sit and you set the intention to be kind to yourself just for this whole sit.

So in relation to the body if there's achiness or soreness or something that's not functioning perfectly in the body and you be kind and say oh dear you poor dear I love you.

Really that deepest level of kindness and compassion towards your own body.

So you Or if the wandering mind is doing its thing and wandering away,

Day meandering into the future or the past,

Some story.

Can you just say,

Oh,

That's just my mind wandering.

That's what the mind does.

Not a problem.

I love you.

Come on back.

If there are emotions at play or states of mind frustration impatience,

Wondering when this is going to end,

Wishing things were other than they are in any way at all.

Can you just turn towards that and say,

Oh,

It's okay.

I see that that's happening.

Not a problem.

Let's let go.

Maybe in this realm,

In this big bucket of non-harming,

Picking one quality that you want to have as an intention for today,

Maybe kindness or maybe patience,

Maybe generosity,

Maybe compassion,

Your pick,

And then setting that as an intention just for today.

Seeing how that goes.

Thanks everyone for being on the wake-up call today.

Have a good Thursday.

Good weekend.

Be safe out there.

See you next Thursday.