What if I told you that anxiety isn't the enemy of leadership,
But the very thing that can unlock your highest level of performance?
We've been told that great leaders have it all figured out,
That confidence is about having all of the answers.
But what if true leadership isn't about eliminating fear or stress,
But about learning how to move with it rather than against it?
In my line of work I call this transmutation.
So today we're going to explore how to turn anxiety into flow,
How to lead with clarity in uncertain times,
And how to step into that kind of confidence that doesn't just look strong,
But it actually feels unshakable,
Or what I would like to say embodied.
And to do that I want to start off with a story.
I want to take you back to a moment when I thought I had to control everything to be a leader,
And how that belief almost broke me that day and would have cost me a lot of money.
A few years ago I was leading a high-stakes coaching session for a group of executives.
Now these were leaders who had built and led multi-million dollar companies,
Who had teams relying on them,
And they carried the weight of success on their shoulders.
Now I had prepared for weeks.
I had every talking point,
Every framework,
Every,
You know,
Outcome planned.
But the moment I walked into that room something felt off.
I could feel the tension in my chest,
That familiar grip of performance anxiety.
My mind started running through all the ways things can go wrong,
And then it happened.
One of the executives challenged me,
Hard.
He questioned my approach,
And I could feel the eyes of the room shift toward me,
Waiting to see how I would respond.
And in that split second I had two choices.
Grip tighter,
Which would be over-explaining,
Defending myself,
Prove my worth,
Or I can let go.
Step into presence,
Trust that I didn't need to control everything.
And for the first time I chose the second.
I took a breath.
I slowed down.
Instead of trying to force confidence,
I allowed myself to be with what was happening.
I asked a question instead of giving an answer.
I opened the space instead of closing it.
And in that moment I realized something fundamental about leadership.
Confidence isn't about having all the answers.
It's about being fully present in uncertainty.
I'll say that again.
Confidence isn't about having all the answers.
It's about being fully present in uncertainty.
And that's when everything changed.
That session became one of the most impactful I've ever led,
Because instead of leading from control and anxiety,
Which was pretty much what I was raced on,
I led from trust and flow,
Which is what I have learned more in adulthood.
That was the moment that I understood the secret to confident leadership in uncertainty.
So why does this happen?
Why do we as the leaders so often feel the need to control,
To overthink,
To carry the weight of everything on our shoulders?
Why do we as men feel the need to control,
To overthink,
To carry the weight of everything on our shoulders,
To be Sisyphus carrying the rocks up the hill?
And it's not just me.
I see this with many of the men that I coach.
And it's not just you.
It's all of us.
Pretty much every leader that I have worked with,
CEOs,
Founders,
High-level executives,
At some point they all hit the same wall.
They step into bigger leadership roles,
Bigger responsibilities,
More power,
Where there's more stakeholders present.
But instead of feeling more confident,
They actually tip over and they feel more anxious.
So why is that?
Because deep down we've been conditioned to believe that control equals security.
That if we can predict every outcome,
Prevent every mistake,
And perfect every move,
We'll be safe.
But here's the paradox.
The more we try to control,
The more we stress.
The more we grip.
The more we block our own intuition and insight.
The more we fear failure,
The more we hesitate and self-sabotage.
I see this all the time.
The founder whose company is growing,
But he feels like he's losing control because he doesn't know everything that's happening.
The executive who's built an empire,
But he struggles with imposter syndrome when he's in the boardroom.
The father who leads with strength at work,
But struggles to stay present with his family.
This is the battle every leader faces.
But what if leadership wasn't about eliminating anxiety,
But rather learning how to move with it and allow it to transform you from the inside out?
That's the shift that I want to focus on today.
So how do we do it?
How do we move from anxiety-driven leadership to leadership that flows?
These are three shifts that unlock that transformation.
First is shifting from resistance to awareness.
Anxiety gets worse when we resist it.
You probably have heard the saying,
What we resist persists,
Especially if you've ever engaged in entheogens or plant medicine.
What we resist persists.
The key is not to fight it,
But to release,
To let go and see through.
So next time you feel anxious in leadership,
Pause and name it.
Ask,
What am I actually afraid of right now?
Instead of reacting,
Slow down and breathe into the discomfort.
When we see the fear instead of running from it,
It starts to lose its grip.
When we see the fear instead of running from it,
We face it.
It starts to lose its grip.
The second is probably the most challenging here for many men.
Shift from control to presence.
Great leaders don't control every detail.
They command the moment.
Instead of obsessing over the future,
Practice fully arriving in the present.
Breathe into the moment.
Root your feet into the ground.
The next time uncertainty arises,
Ask,
What's the best action I can take right now?
And sometimes that's silence.
Lead from the space of clarity,
Not overthinking.
When we move from tight control to deep presence,
We unlock the next level of leadership and true confidence.
The third is shifting from perfection to flow.
Confidence isn't about perfection,
It's trust.
Trust in yourself,
Trust in your team,
Trust in a higher power,
Trust in the mystery,
And then trust in your ability and your team's ability to adapt.
High performers don't aim for perfection,
They aim for momentum.
Focus on moving forward rather than getting everything right.
The fastest way to shift out of anxiety is to take aligned action,
Even when it's imperfect.
When you stop seeking control and you start allowing flow into the moment,
Everything changes.
So here's my challenge to you.
This week,
When you feel the tension of anxiety,
Pause.
Name it.
Feel it.
Then move through it.
When uncertainty arises,
Don't grip harder.
Lean in.
Breathe.
Trust yourself.
When leadership feels heavy,
Which it will,
Remind yourself true confidence is not about controlling the unknown.
It's about standing strong inside of it.
Because this is what sets apart the great leaders from the rest.
Not their ability to control,
But their ability to move with life rather than against it.
And when you do that,
You don't just lead with confidence,
You lead with power.
