What It Means To Be Truly Powerful: A Father’s Reflection

A few weeks ago my son and I were sitting down at the dinner table.

We were laughing over something really simple,

Just a piece of pizza dough that wouldn't cut properly.

And it was one of those small,

Seemingly insignificant moments that somehow feels big.

And as I watched him laughing,

I realized something.

I had been unconsciously keeping him in a box.

In my mind,

He was still this little boy.

The one who needed me for everything.

The one who looked up to me with those wide,

Curious eyes.

But in that moment,

I saw it.

He was growing.

He was stepping into his own power,

His own confidence.

And I had a choice.

I could keep seeing him small,

Or I could honor who he was becoming.

And that's the thing about humility.

We often think of it as playing small,

As stepping back so others can shine.

But real humility,

It's having the courage to see things as they truly are.

It's recognizing that we are not the center of the universe,

And yet we are part of something much bigger.

You know,

Jesus said to be humble,

But he never meant for us to deny our gifts.

He meant for us to own them fully,

While remembering that we are human just like everyone else.

That one day,

We will return to the soil.

And in the meantime,

Our job is to live fully,

To love deeply,

And to lead our lives with the kind of power that lifts others up instead of pushing them down.

I see this in my son now.

He is learning to stand tall,

But not by stepping on anyone else.

He is learning that he has a voice,

But that listening is just as powerful.

He is learning that strength is not about proving something wrong.

It's about showing up over and over again,

Even when things are hard.

And I realize,

As his father,

That my job is not to make him dependent on me,

But to prepare him to stand on his own.

To teach him that true power is about responsibility,

Not to control.

That humility is not about shrinking,

But about knowing exactly who you are,

And offering that to the world with open hands.

And this is where so many people get caught.

Some have been told since childhood,

Be humble.

And this is interpreted as,

Stay quiet,

Don't take up space.

So they become masters of self-diminishment,

Afraid to truly own their strength,

Especially if it challenges any familiar or cultural norms.

And then others,

In rebellion against the smallness,

They swing the other way.

They chase power,

Domination,

Ego-driven success,

And they forget that true power is not about control,

But about responsibility.

True humility is the balance between these two extremes.

It's standing in your power with open hands,

Not clenched fists.

A humble man does not hide.

A humble man does not boast.

A humble man steps forward.

He does the work,

He owns his gifts,

And he knows deep in his bones that he is no different than the man beside him.

So today I ask you,

Where have you been shrinking?

Where have you been holding back,

Afraid that stepping into your full power might make others uncomfortable?

And where have you been posturing?

Where have you been grasping for power out of fear,

Rather than standing in your truth?

Humility is not about making yourself small,

It's about making yourself available to your purpose,

To your family,

To your world.

So step into your power,

And do so with the kind of humility that changes lives.

Because when a man fully owns who he is,

When he walks this earth with both confidence and deep humility,

That man,

That man is unstoppable.

And I want to shift now,

And I want to talk a little bit about how we raise kids with this level of humility.

Every parent wants to raise resilient children,

Kids who can face the world with courage,

Who stand tall in their values,

And who don't crumble at the first sign of challenge.

But we also want them to be humble,

And by that I mean to treat others with respect,

To know they are no better and no worse than anyone else.

The balance between humility and power is not about forcing kids to be tough,

Or teaching them to stay small.

It's about giving them a sturdy sense of self,

One that doesn't depend on external validation,

But is also deeply connected to others.

So how do we go about this as parents?

Let me lay out a few different routes here.

The first is to model self confidence without ego.

Kids learn more from how we are than what we say,

And if they see you downplaying your abilities,

They're gonna learn to do the same.

If they see you puffing up and seeking validation through dominance,

They'll learn to do that instead.

So the goal is grounded confidence,

Owning your strengths,

Being open about your growth edges,

And showing that leadership isn't about being the loudest in the room,

But about showing up with integrity.

And some of the greatest leaders and some of the greatest companies in the world,

They do this.

They share with their team what they're working on,

And they own their mistakes,

And they own the challenge that they are facing,

And they walk into that fear with tremendous courage.

So instead of saying something like,

Oh I'm not that great at this,

Try saying,

I worked hard to get good at this.

I'm proud of myself.

Instead of saying,

I'm the boss,

So do what I say,

Say,

In our family,

I lead with responsibility.

That means I make decisions that keep us safe and growing even when they're hard.

So let's teach that mistakes are a sign of growth.

A child who is afraid to fail will either hide or become obsessed with perfection,

Both of which block real power.

And this,

To be clear,

Is what is the natural result of the school system as it is designed.

It either teaches kids to be afraid to try something because they're gonna get ridiculed or get an F or fail,

And it's gonna look bad.

Or they try so hard to strive for perfection that they lose their own alignment,

They lose their own integrity,

And both of these block real power.

So we need to normalize mistakes as the natural part of learning,

Of growing.

So when your child messes up,

Instead of shaming them,

Hold space for the lesson and say something like this,

It's okay to get this wrong,

What do you think you can try differently next time?

Or your worth isn't based on getting everything right,

It's based on how you keep going.

This builds grit and resilience,

Which is the ability to keep showing up even when things are hard.

So let's talk about helping our kids regulate big emotions,

Because if you're gonna play big in life,

You're going to have big feelings.

True power isn't about dominating others,

It's about being able to stay steady in the face of challenge.

Kids who learn to regulate their emotions,

They don't need to act out to feel seen.

There isn't that sense of false bravado,

And they don't need to control others to feel safe.

So when your child is feeling overwhelmed,

Co-regulate first.

That's where your own inner work comes into play.

If they're flooded with emotion,

Meet them where they are.

I see you're really upset right now,

I'm here with you.

Name the feeling.

It makes sense that you're frustrated,

That feeling is big.

And hold the boundary.

You can be mad,

But you can't hit.

Now this approach teaches emotional strength.

Not suppression,

Not explosion,

But steadiness.

And let me tell you that the best leaders,

They're the ones who are able to self-regulate,

And through that level of self-regulation,

They are able to hold the room,

And they're able to anchor a room who is feeling a tremendous amount of chaos.

So let's talk about showing that leadership is about responsibility,

Not control.

This is hard.

If we want our kids to be powerful and humble,

We have to redefine leadership.

A true leader doesn't lead by force,

They lead by responsibility.

So give your child meaningful choices and responsibility within the family.

Say things like,

I trust you to set the table,

How would you like to do that?

You were in charge of getting your backpack ready,

What do you need to make this happen?

When kids are given a responsibility that matches their developmental stage,

They learn that power isn't about control,

It's about contribution.

In my family,

You'll often hear my son say,

Hey I'm a part of the team,

And we'll talk about being a member of the team.

And teach them that their worth is inherent.

A child who is deeply secure in their own worth does not need to prove themselves.

They don't need to shrink,

And they don't need to dominate.

So instead of praising outcomes,

Praise effort and character.

You worked really hard on that.

I love how kind you were to your friend.

You kept going even when it was hard.

That is real strength.

Let them know that you are enough as you are,

And you are capable of growing into even more.

That balance is where humility and power meet.

So the goal here is to help grow a child who stands tall without needing to stand above.

Humility and power,

They go hand in hand.

A child who knows their own worth,

Who trusts in their ability to grow,

And who understands that leadership is about service,

That is a child who is going to change the world.

And the truth is,

It starts with us first taking the steps to make this happen.