To start,
Here's a quote from Bob Sharples.
I hope it will set the scene for you to extend to yourself,
During this meditation,
A little extra warmth and friendliness.
Bob says,
Don't meditate to fix yourself,
To heal yourself,
To improve yourself,
To redeem yourself.
Rather,
Do it as an act of love,
Of deep,
Warm friendship to yourself.
In this way,
There is no longer any need for the subtle aggression of self-improvement,
To the endless guilt of not doing enough.
It offers the possibility of an end to the ceaseless round of trying so hard that wraps so many people's lives in a knot.
Instead,
There is now meditation as an act of love.
Now,
As we begin,
Feel free to stretch or move.
You may like to gently rub or massage any parts of the body that feel tender or sore,
Or you could just allow your hands to rest comfortably in your lap,
Or on your chest or belly if you are lying down.
You may also like to soften your gaze or close your eyes.
And you might yawn or sigh a few times,
Feeling the body begin to soften as you do so.
In this meditation,
We are going to create what W.
D.
Winnicott called a holding environment.
Essentially,
A nurturing,
Attentive relationship with yourself,
One characterized by friendliness and warmth.
With this in mind,
Proceed at your own pace,
Listening to your own body and doing only what feels right for you.
You don't have to follow my instructions to the letter.
It's perfectly okay to adapt them according to your own needs.
For now,
Just continue breathing easily.
Finding a way to breathe that feels comforting and comfortable.
You might do this by making each exhalation a little longer or softer,
Or by relinquishing control and letting the body breathe for you.
We might ignore the breath completely,
Just letting it do its own thing.
Perhaps as you tune into the sounds you can hear,
All the thoughts or emotions arising in this moment.
Finding your own way.
Not any need to perfect a technique or get things right.
Now,
Take a few moments to check in.
What's happening in your world?
How are you feeling?
Warm or cool?
Upbeat or down?
Just be curious.
Is your body tired?
Is it ache or throng?
Is your mind quiet or busy?
What else are you aware of?
Memories?
Worries?
Some of these experiences might be easy to be with,
Others more difficult.
None of them are wrong,
None of them need be excluded from your meditation.
Just greet each moment afresh.
As we proceed,
Take some time to think about what being friendly means to you.
What are the qualities that come to mind when you think of a great friend?
Perhaps you think of someone who listens.
Maybe just the thought of such a person brings a tear to your eye or a sense of ease.
Maybe you think of someone who always has a kind or supportive word.
This brings a smile to your face or a sense of gratitude.
Or maybe you think of someone who accepts you exactly as you are and you feel a sense of relief or warmth in the chest.
Or perhaps the idea of friendship is encapsulated in childhood memories.
In a soft toy,
A pet or a scene from nature.
Notice whatever the idea of friendship brings up for you.
There may be layers of feelings,
Including some that might seem surprising or unwelcome.
Welcome them anyway.
Whatever arises,
See if you can lend it an ear.
See if you can be a little more accommodating.
And see if you can offer yourself words of kindness or support.
And maybe you can extend some of this warmth to anything you're struggling with at present.
To your mind if it feels unsettled.
To your body if it's not as comfortable as you'd like.
And to whatever parts of you that feel neglected or troubled.
Attend to any wounds,
As a good mother would to the cries of her newborn child.
And say hello to any darkness inside.
I see you my friend.
I hear you my friend.
I feel your pain my friend.
Things might feel awkward or unnatural to treat yourself so tenderly.
Your self-critic might reject such approaches as weak or stupid.
That's okay.
You may find that a little kindness and courtesy soothes you despite any resistance you feel.
Let it be okay to surrender,
To feel tender,
Vulnerable,
Alive.
Even the intention to be a friend to yourself can be helpful.
So as we draw to a close,
Consider again how you prefer to be treated.
And see if you can't treat yourself to some of those qualities.
Even if just for a minute.
Before we conclude,
Take a few soft,
Lazy breaths.
Stretch a little.
And take your time transitioning out of this little meditation.
Hopefully with a few warm fuzzies fluttering inside.
