Hello lovely,
Pasha Lindy here.
How are you?
Today we'll be looking at self-appreciation and why this is such a beneficial quality to cultivate.
For many of us,
It's hard to feel self-appreciative.
We may not have seen appreciation mirrored to us from the outside.
And this is especially true when we feel disconnected or isolated.
We do so many good things all day,
But why do we then focus on the one mistake?
Yeah,
So many of us do this.
And in this session,
We'll learn how the brain is wired for problem seeking and how we can bring the balance back by rewarding our efforts with some warm appreciation.
So focusing on problems is useful.
It's useful for survival.
And in ancient times,
Tribes were targets for enemies or dangerous animals,
So people were not physically safe.
So our brain is programmed to scan for threats in the environment and then focus on that.
And this is often called the negativity bias.
In modern life,
We do the same.
We're scanning the horizon for threats to our health,
To our jobs,
To our relationships,
To our status,
Even our social survival.
So the way that we think others perceive us might seem threatening.
Scientists tell us that we focus on negative to positive in a ratio of approximately five to one,
Meaning that if we're going to bring things back into balance,
We need to focus on the good five times as much as we focus on the negative.
And if you're watching the news,
How many good news stories do we see on the news?
We might find that we just get sucked into this negative view of the world,
Seeing the problems again.
But the good news is if we're armed with this knowledge,
We can deflect the excessively negative focus by deliberately noticing the good.
So in this session,
We'll learn not only how to notice these things,
But also how to feel permission to enjoy and absorb these fleeting states so that gratitude and self-appreciation get installed into our brains,
Reprogramming our neural networks and fertilizing the blossoming of our good hearts and our resilience.
So a story,
The story of King Midas.
You might know this story.
King Midas lived in ancient Greece and he was renowned for his wealth,
But he didn't appreciate this abundance.
Midas always wanted more,
More and more and more.
No amount of money,
Treasure or jewels would satisfy him.
His greed was endless and the greed made him selfish and unpopular.
His taxes were the highest in the country and people,
His people,
Often went hungry while Midas ate the very finest lamb and drank the best wine.
His wife and daughter avoided him for he was rather miserable to spend time with.
Midas truly loved money.
If only everything I touched would turn to gold,
Midas exclaimed and bent down to pick up an apple from the fruit bowl.
As soon as his fingers touched the fruit,
It turned to gold.
Eureka!
He exclaimed.
My wish has come true and he leapt up and he danced for joy,
Racing around the palace,
Touching everything he could lay his hands on,
Chairs and tables and stone statues,
All turning to gold before his eyes.
I'm rich,
I'm rich!
He exclaimed.
King Midas spent hours in absolute delight,
Watching his palace become ever more golden.
The whole place shimmered,
The trees,
The fountains,
The stone columns and as it approached evening,
All of a sudden Midas realized how hungry he was and he saw his daughter,
The princess,
Returning to the palace with a basket of pomegranates.
Oh daughter,
Beloved daughter,
He called out and raced up to her excitedly.
I have something incredible to tell you.
He embraced her and started to tell her about the good news and as Midas babbled on,
Gesturing wildly at the palace,
His daughter remained silent.
After a few minutes,
Midas noticed this.
He turned to her and stopped in his tracks.
His daughter was no more.
In her place,
A solid gold statue in her exact likeness.
Daughter,
Daughter,
No!
Cried Midas.
Not you!
I did not wish for you to turn into gold.
But it was too late.
She was no longer alive in the human sense.
Midas was devastated and reached for a goblet of wine to dull his grief.
But no sooner did that red liquid touch his lips than it turned to gold too and stuck in his throat.
Midas,
Choking,
Spat out the solid lump.
Everything?
Did I really mean that everything should turn to gold?
He cried.
Midas wandered sadly around the palace,
Growing hungrier and hungrier.
And he picked up fruit,
Bread,
Chicken,
Fish,
But all transformed into a glittering but inedible metal.
Midas slumped on his golden steps.
How he missed simple pleasures like drinking water,
Eating grapes,
Embracing his daughter.
How much longer could he live like this?
He bent down and wept and prayed.
Oh gods,
Forgive me.
How stupid and greedy I am.
Gold is precious,
But not more precious than food,
Drink and family.
I've been so ungrateful.
Please,
I pray,
Remove this curse and I promise to live a life of simplicity and appreciation from now on.
The gods heard Midas and took pity on him and that night a huge storm swept up and lightning flashed down.
As Midas lay in bed,
His stomach grumbling and sobbing,
He heard flash after flash of lightning strike the palace.
When he awoke the next morning,
Everything had changed.
The palace was no longer made of solid gold.
Midas leapt up and bit into an apple from the fruit bowl.
It crunched between his teeth and he tasted the delicious juice almost for the very first time.
Daughter,
Daughter,
He yelled and raced through the palace to find her.
And there she was laughing and playing in the fountain.
Midas ran to her and embraced her.
Daughter,
You're alive and well,
He exclaimed.
I'm so happy to see you.
And from that day on,
Midas was completely changed.
He dedicated his life to appreciating the small things and gave his family and people more love and generosity than ever.
As he grew old,
Many remarked what a noble and humble king he had become and he ended his days much loved.
When we perpetually focus on wanting more,
Like Midas,
We lose sight of what we have or what we are that is already wholesome and good.
So we live in this kind of poverty,
Actually,
This state of endless craving.
It's one of the reasons why we're destroying the environment so quickly,
Because we're always wanting more rather than appreciating what we already have.
So today you're invited to become like King Midas at the end of his journey,
To look around you and appreciate the beauty of things as they are,
With no need for improvement.
Can you see the beauty in the living trees?
Can you hear the joy in the birdsong?
Can you appreciate the bounty of nature in the fruits and vegetables on your table?
Or the radiance in the smile of a child?
Or the care in the cup of tea that your colleague just made for you?
We don't need to keep seeking out problems or keep trying to turn things into gold.
There's so much we can love and appreciate right now.
So much to love and appreciate about our own good qualities,
Like your kindness or your patience.
So today you're invited to pause from time to time and appreciate the things that are right in front of you,
Looking for the gold that's already there.
And in order to really benefit from appreciation,
We need to let the good feelings sink in.
So take a full minute or two to really stay with that appreciation,
Really let those feelings sink in as much as you can.
There's some evidence that this really helps program our mind into looking for the good more often and allowing the nervous system to really benefit from those beneficial feelings.
And further,
There's a meditation that will guide you through doing this on my channel called Gratitude and Self-Appreciation,
Which I recommend you listen to next.
Well go well with that dear one,
Look after yourself and see you next time.
Bye bye for now.
