Awareness Satsang: A Wave Of Love To Nourish Your Inner Self

Yeah,

Some new faces.

Yeah,

Good to see you.

Yeah.

Great happiness.

So,

You know,

There's so much to say has come up to say,

Not just to say to communicate.

And I,

I feel like I will just speak about some of the testimonials people have sent me this week.

So there was one dear one who I'd worked intensively with a couple of years ago through the phone,

And she's got an absolute heart of gold and has,

You know,

Struggled to love herself and has felt the world has been hostile.

And don't we all know that feeling?

It just seems sometimes that the world is hostile.

But of course,

It isn't the world.

It's our own inner,

How we're treating our soul,

Actually.

Yeah.

But this takes time to really understand.

But anyway,

She wrote that she'd had this dream that she's often had of that she's being shot at.

And she's sort of hiding behind a rock and trying to dodge the bullets,

You know,

Which is really how many of us live.

We live with this kind of feeling underneath.

So she said to me,

She wrote and she said,

Yeah,

I had the dream again.

But the good news was when I woke up,

I thought,

I thought like Amma's here.

It's okay.

So that was the shift.

And this is the beginning of that dream actually disappearing.

If she could wake up from a dream like that and be secure enough in her understanding to really feel that Amma was with her and not feel the overhang of that dream.

That is real progress,

You guys.

And this is the progress of the lived journey,

Which is what this work is really focused on.

The lived,

The experience of the lived journey.

Right.

And it is,

It's the most challenging.

It's the most challenging.

It's,

You know,

Because it means you really have to walk your talk.

Okay,

So there is other testimonials.

There is a two siblings.

There's a person who wrote about getting together with her sibling.

And there was an uncomfortable few moments.

And both,

It was like a repeat of family patterns and really uncomfortable.

Here it is happening again.

And both of them have really sincere hearts.

Okay.

They're really beautiful hearts.

And they both prayed to Amma.

They both gave it over to Amma.

Okay.

And they'd never done that before.

And there was a tremendous then resolution.

And they spoke about some of the patterns,

Some of what they'd experienced as children.

And help clear,

Helped,

Help the understanding between them.

So they came together in their hearts.

This is it,

You guys.

This is it.

And it can feel so uncomfortable when you're doing it.

Because when,

You know,

You give over to Amma,

It doesn't feel,

You feel insecure,

All your stuff's up.

You go,

Oh no.

But if you really do it,

A shift happens.

And if the shift doesn't happen,

Sometimes we just have to wait.

If it feels the shift isn't happening,

It will be setting in motion a future shift.

Yeah.

It's like when you give over to Amma,

It's putting money in the spiritual bank that will then come back to you.

And when they gave it over to Amma,

It was real.

They really wanted help.

They opened to help,

To receive help.

It's that,

It's opening to receive help.

Because sometimes we just give over to Amma like,

Like parrots,

You know,

And our hearts are still closed.

But,

You know,

If you notice that your heart's closed,

You can give over and go,

I give over my closed heart.

You see,

You just keep giving everything over.

Don't judge it.

You know,

If your heart's closed,

Give that over to her too.

What I'm really wanting to communicate to you guys is,

Is this,

All the difficulties can be resolved through receiving help from the creator or Amma,

Through a willingness to love and accept yourselves.

Willingness to put your arms around yourselves.

It's very,

Very uncomfortable.

And that's why,

You know,

My experience is,

So a lot of the spiritual journey,

Sometimes it's tempting,

People just talk and they're not really doing it.

And sometimes even teachers are just talking and they're not really doing it.

You know,

It's like,

It can be a bit of a minefield.

But if you are true and honorable yourself,

You will tend to attract true and honorable teachers.

That's how it works.

Like attracts like.

And there was another testimonial from another dear one.

And this one has been struggling with hip pain,

Severe hip pain for a while.

And it was,

Again,

A year's anniversary since she lost someone who was very close to her in the family.

And she wrote and said that,

You know,

Her hip pain was better.

And also the tightness around her base chakra,

And also the tightness around her base chakra,

Which is involved with survival,

The stiffness had released out.

And then she reminded me it was a year since this dear one had died.

And I felt to myself that actually it was her moving beyond the family patterns,

You know,

So hips are personal power.

And the base chakra is survival.

So all this pain and the stiffness for some spin going on for some months was around this healing of her moving into more personal power and more trust that the universe would support her.

And this is her growing beyond her,

The more limiting family beliefs and patterns that were going on.

Yeah,

You guys,

If we just live our lives,

And you're heading in the right direction,

Your soul will just evolve you.

Actually,

Our souls evolve us anyway.

But if we're consciously intent on it,

We consciously wish this,

Then our souls,

The creator can really help us.

You know,

When guys are fighting a war,

Girls like men,

Women are fighting wars,

There's an expression of no,

No man or woman left behind.

And this work is like that.

It's like it's to hold all of you safely till you wake up enough to get it that you're beloved.

And in that that you're a beloved child of the universe.

And in that is also as you get that you're also asked to be devoted to that to to return the love really back to your soul and to rise to live your Dharma this life.

Because that's what brings happiness and fulfillment.

But it can't be rushed or forced.

It's just like a little child who's,

You know,

Their moms made them pancakes.

And,

And they go up to their mom,

And hug their leg and say,

Thanks,

Mom,

For taking such good care of me.

It's just like that.

You do the same thing to your own soul,

Truly,

Or to Amma or to the creator.

You know,

Amma is the creator.

But you know,

Again,

I've said this before that sometimes Amma devotees hold on to her as a body image rather than getting that.

But it's the creator's energy in everything.

In you,

In Amma.

In the object you're sitting on your chair.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So you guys,

The challenging thing,

Sometimes I can feel it.

I'm coming up to be clear,

There's this,

I can feel this is,

You,

It's like you're hearing me.

But it's like,

There's this kind of like,

Secretly despising oneself,

You know,

It's like secretly having ants in your pants,

Kind of,

You know,

Like,

Yeah,

Sounds great.

It's good.

But I sort of have ants in my pants.

And I can't kind of,

Can't really imagine that it's me too,

That's loved,

Like,

I think I'm doing the journey wrong and everything.

So I'm feeling that coming up to be cleared.

So I'm giving this over to Amma.

Yeah,

Because I'll tell you,

This one knows that feeling in spades.

Yeah.

It's not true.

It's just coming from other lives.

You know,

As well as maybe what happened in your childhood.

But the roots of that are coming from other lives.

Right,

Okay.

Okay,

That's good.

You're feeling that feeling of ants in the pants is dissolving.

But the next obstacle in this is what I'm feeling is a little bit being squished down.

This,

You know,

Most of us feel like this when we're growing up that we're squished down a bit.

This is coming up to be clear too.

You guys,

Anybody who's coming to the satsangs is interested in living their dharma,

Living in truth,

Because otherwise you would not be attracted at all.

And as you guys know,

Like,

I'm a very,

You know,

Loving teacher,

This one,

But there's quite demanding,

You know,

It can be quite demanding.

So,

If you're here,

You're sincere.

Remember,

You can't really judge your journeys.

Remember,

You can't really judge your journeys.

A teacher sees far more than you do.

Little kid might spill the milk and feel like,

Oh,

They're a bad girl or boy for spilling milk,

But the mom knows it's just nothing.

But three-year-olds spill their milk,

There's no problem.

You guys,

I feel like all of you maybe could focus a little more on,

Like,

Take an inward step of being willing to feel more worthy.

You know,

Can't be forced,

But just think about,

Yeah,

Because,

You know,

It matters.

It matters for you personally,

It also matters for the world.

The other thing is,

You know,

Things can come down from past lives as well.

So,

One of the things,

I have a son who was a pharaoh.

And,

You know,

When pharaohs die,

The whole court gets entombed with them.

That was how it was,

All the family members in the court.

So,

Truly,

When this child,

Whenever he was not doing well,

Or I was really worried about him,

I would get this feeling that this one was going to die,

That I was going to die.

It was awful.

So,

I'd be trying to,

You know,

Work it out with my son,

Whatever the difficulty was,

And at the same time,

Really,

I felt like I was going to die.

So,

Over the years of the journey,

I remembered this past life of that I was related to this pharaoh,

And I went into the tomb with him when he died.

And then it,

You know,

It gave me,

I wasn't so caught in the drama.

I was able to be more dispassionate.

I just acknowledged this fear of dying that would come up for me.

But I knew where it came from,

So it lost its power.

So,

This is coming around to the heart of the satsang around,

You guys,

We have to understand ourselves psychologically in order to grow spiritually.

Okay?

Yeah.

And lots of times,

This isn't made explicit,

Although teachers will talk about the importance of self-awareness.

And,

You know,

If you're a devotee,

And you're just praying and serving wherever you can,

What will happen is,

Just in that kind of attitude,

This self-awareness will dawn within you.

It will just,

If you're really walking the path of devotion,

It will just start weaving in this understanding of yourself.

Right.

And if you're walking more the path of knowledge,

Then,

You know,

That directly steers towards actually your psychology as you proceed.

Because,

Yeah,

That,

The path of knowledge,

You can't get knowledge without your own becoming aware of yourself.

And,

You know,

We know the paths meet.

Like,

If you're walking the path of devotion,

It will lead you into knowledge,

True knowledge.

And if you're walking the path of knowledge,

That will lead you to devotion,

And it will lead you to an understanding of yourself.

But,

You guys,

The wall I hit in many of you is around this willingness to understand yourself.

Okay.

So,

There's a really sincere seeker who,

You know,

He can't be criticized.

But,

You know,

He was coming forward with his spiritual understandings,

And he was speaking them to me.

And at the same time,

I knew they were coming from him.

They were being built on his running away from his inner child.

So,

They were dogma.

Yeah.

But it didn't feel like that to him.

He was holding onto these really tightly,

But at the same time,

He was avoiding an embrace and understanding and love of the little child that he was.

So,

We had a little bit of an uh-uh.

And to his credit,

He surrendered.

Yeah.

Because he's sincere.

So,

He surrendered and allowed his child self to come into his body and his mind.

And you see,

Without the child self,

You will not get feeling.

And feeling will tell you how to proceed on the journey.

You will just get a feeling.

It's kind of a non-emotional instruction of what to do.

Right.

It's interesting.

I can feel myself getting a little strident.

It's interesting.

That's kind of funny,

Being strident about feeling,

Right?

Yeah.

So,

You see,

The self-awareness and observation of self continues no matter where you are on the journey.

You just keep doing that.

Right.

What happens as you proceed is your mind gets quieter,

And it becomes easier to know how you're feeling and what you're feeling.

Right.

And also,

With your quiet mind,

The insights will bubble up.

Insights into what's going on in the world.

Insights about your own self.

You know that expression,

Where two or more are gathered together,

There is love.

And we come together in the satsang to open our hearts to the creator and to each other.

And growth takes place.

Change occurs.

You know,

As a lovely guy was speaking last time about how he felt things being washed away at nighttime.

You guys,

You know,

Again,

It won't always feel like things are being washed away at nighttime.

You know,

You might go through a phase where things intensify and you have bad dreams.

And it can feel like that you're going backwards,

But you're not.

What's happening is,

You know,

The shell of the next step is being cracked.

Yeah.

I remember once,

Some time ago,

Some years ago,

I was really struggling with my own bad dreams and seeing darkness.

And somebody had a dream,

Somebody I was working with had a dream of being totally illuminated.

And I went,

Huh,

This must be on the right track.

And indeed,

The,

All the bad dreams and stuff that I was having was just a clearing for the next level on the journey.

Yeah.

Please take comfort in that,

You know.

Sometimes we're doing the best work when we feel the worst.

Yeah.

When we feel the worst,

Often it's like we're experiencing our ego directly.

We're experiencing what we've lived under,

And it's on its way to clearing.

The reason the psychological understanding of yourself is so important is because it's actually is because it's actually,

You end up reparenting yourself.

You end up letting the creator reparent your injured child self.

And that turns you into an expression of the creator yourself,

You know.

That's how you embody.

And also,

You guys,

If you really get onto this to understand that,

You know,

The answers are psychological and you have to kind of end up reparenting yourself,

It will give you forgiveness for your errors.

And it will give you compassion for yourself.

And compassion for yourself is God.

Compassion is God.

Yeah.

So,

If you experience compassion for yourself,

You are experiencing God.

And you are embodying God.

You know,

My life took me down,

So I really had a direct feeling of how unloved I was.

You know,

On the deeper levels,

My parents did their best,

But they weren't loving themselves.

So,

When I've talked about when I was working,

When,

Yeah,

I was being massaged at Abraham's,

And there were like three people working on me,

And I couldn't keep track of the hands.

And so,

I moved out of my linear mind,

And I just had the experience of the total grief of my three-year-old self,

Realizing that my family of origin didn't love me,

And that they wanted me to be a facsimile of myself.

Now,

Really,

You see,

It wasn't even them.

It was my choices in all my past lives that created this.

The good thing was,

I went down into the sorrow of feeling the disconnection.

And so,

I connected up.

And,

You know,

Sometimes I would see in my behaviors that,

Say,

For example,

Where I got really maybe pushy or very aggressive,

And I could see when I would be looking at these things in tranquility,

I could see that these behaviors were coming from this,

As a result of this little munchkin feeling unloved,

You see?

So,

All my mistakes were seen in this organic way.

And even the really big ones,

You know,

Where,

You know,

The worst where I felt like I hurt my kids,

I could come to forgiveness through seeing how it would be inevitable that it would happen due to my own wounding,

You see?

And,

In fact,

You guys,

It is kind of a way of life that,

Often,

We hurt people close to us as we heal.

This can happen.

And,

Really,

It's why forgiveness,

Self-forgiveness,

Is so important,

And a spacious understanding.

So,

We,

Yeah,

Really broad,

Spacious understanding really helps.

When you realize that this is,

You know,

We're in this hologram,

And it's not going to last.

So,

Things feel really real,

But they're not.

And I'll tell you,

The more you deeply love yourself and forgive yourself,

The more this point of view will finally just,

You'll just move into this understanding.

Just seamlessly,

You will move into this understanding if you take it far enough.

In fact,

You know,

You know how Amma says everything's already happened,

But she will give people instructions or criticize them,

You know,

Like indicate,

Like she did with me,

Indicate,

Like,

This one made a mistake.

Okay,

But when you grow,

When you grow aside your ego,

It's like you,

There's no more karma.

There's no more karma.

Because you,

You've outgrown that point of view,

So it does not operate.

What I'm really trying to communicate to you guys is the tremendous upside of putting your arms around yourselves and getting to know yourselves,

Really getting to know yourselves in this big,

Big way.

Right,

Right,

You can do it.

It's done for you,

As you see that you too could grow exponentially this lifetime.

You know,

It's the feminine face of God that encourages and goes,

You can do it,

You can do it.

And I feel like it's so what we need right now,

This encouragement and the reminder that it just gets done.

You know,

I got a notice on Instant Timer,

Somebody wrote and said that they were struck by the open-hearted honesty and raw vulnerability of what one of my,

One of the videos.

And I wrote back to her and I said,

You know,

If spiritual teachers aren't coming from open-hearted honesty and awareness of all of our human vulnerability,

Including their own,

We're in trouble,

Okay?

We're in trouble if that isn't the norm.

And just interesting about,

You know,

The Inside Timer,

There was some problem because some of the reviews,

Some of the teachers were responding to the reviews with artificial intelligence.

You know,

Maybe they got a thousand reviews in a day,

You know,

This one doesn't get that.

So,

It was overwhelming.

They use artificial intelligence to respond.

Yeah,

That does not seem like the way to me,

But I mean,

It's almost out of a comic book,

A comedy.

But,

You know,

This is our confusion at this time.

There's an old Zen expression that said,

You know,

When Zen gets popular,

The quality of the Zen isn't very good.

You know,

When it's not popular and very few people do it,

Then it's easier for it to stay pure.

It's like Amma said,

You know,

That she actually preferred a situation where the social rules were very strict,

That that actually is the best circumstance for spiritual growth.

And I was thinking maybe it's because then if you choose the spiritual path,

It's a real choice and you,

You know,

You make it even in a difficult situation like that where the rules are very strict.

You know,

It would make it really clear that you have to like turn to the creator for help to navigate in a situation like that.

It's interesting that that's what she said.

I heard,

I heard her.

Yeah.

Okay,

There's another thing I wanted to mention just from the,

You know,

My recent time in Germany and some of the things you said.

There were several of you who talked about how you were finding yourself distracted and you were being hard on yourselves for this.

You were actually continuing to do it and feeling like a miserable sinner every time you did it,

Whatever it is to distract yourselves.

Okay,

You guys,

I want to put a big flag there.

It's like if you're distracting yourself,

It's coming out of fear.

So,

Please just,

You know,

Watch yourself,

Distract yourself,

You know,

Give it over to Amma,

The creator,

And let yourself be helped because what will happen is you will make a shift out of it.

I promise.

The dangerous thing is that you get stuck in staying there and imprinting yourself with being a miserable sinner.

Do you see?

Not giving it over to Amma,

Just sitting there going,

I'm a bad person,

I'm distracting myself.

Like,

Don't do that.

Or at least observe it if you do it and then give it over.

I mean,

What happens?

I mean,

You know,

I'm sure what would happen with you is what would happen with this one.

I'd go like,

I'm wasting my time.

I'm feeling like I'm wasting my time.

Who knows how long I have left?

I don't want to waste any more time.

And I would just be brought to it and the things that I was distracting myself with became less appealing.

They stopped catching me so much.

This is kind of a compassionate,

Organic approach.

It works way better than hitting yourself around the head for being a miserable sinner.

You know,

When working with people,

These secret withholds they have about themselves that they don't bring up to open the door to have a look at,

They're secretly having these withholds.

For the teacher,

It makes it really hard to get through to them then.

You see,

It's like they're holding the doors shut with these secret,

I'm a miserable sinner for whatever it is.

Yeah.

So,

Please,

You guys,

Everybody distracts themselves.

The more it bothers you,

The more give it over.

And you'll be brought out of it.

You will get brought out of everything by sincere giving over and following the breadcrumbs.

You know,

Like the fairy tales.

Follow the breadcrumbs.

Right.

But it's a little bit hair-raising to live like that,

But it's better than walking around with,

I'm a miserable sinner.

Yeah,

Getting tired.

Has anybody got any questions or comments?

And anything goes,

You guys.

Some of you actually retreated more,

Pulled into the darkness a little bit more with what I was just saying.

That's interesting to me.

It's like holding onto the miserable sinner thing harder.

It's okay.

It's okay.

I'm just putting a flag here.

Yeah.

Some of you feel like you've tried and you've tried and you've tried and you've tried,

You've tried and tried and don't seem to be getting anywhere.

Sometimes it feels like that,

You guys.

And it can even be where,

You know,

As a little kid,

You know,

It may be a replay of how hard you tried to please your family of origin.

And you may be stuck in that.

And you may be not realizing that you can allow the love of the creator to come to that really hurt heart inside that child,

Inside you.

Right.

And as you let the love of the creator come in,

Suddenly you'll get more space.

You'll see that you've got more maneuvering room for action.

You'll see that you're not as stuck as you thought.

I don't know how much I so want to see you guys just getting this,

Realizing that you,

This love can come to you.

But even though,

Say,

A six-year-old felt that she wasn't good enough or he wasn't good enough,

That your child self was just beautiful.

You see,

Children,

You can't,

You can't judge them.

I mean,

They're so adorable.

They're just themselves.

And you can have that back.

You guys,

You can have it back in your lives.

It's just,

It's like daring to let the love in,

Daring to go past maybe some lifetimes where,

You know,

It was imprinted that you didn't deserve love,

Or weren't good enough.

Yeah,

But you,

How could that be true that you don't deserve the love?

Like,

I look at you guys all like now,

And it's like,

How could it be true?

It's not.

You're so lovable.

All of you,

All of you.

I know all your hearts.

You're so adorable to me.

And this is to me.

This is to me,

Let alone Amma or the creator.

Do you understand?

If this one can feel it,

How much more,

Amma,

Or Jesus,

Krishna,

Whoever you turn to.

Yeah.

Please,

You guys.

There's nothing wrong with you at all.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi,

Laura.

Thank you for the reminder.

I still struggle with thinking I'm something's wrong with me if someone else is not happy with what I'm doing.

I'm okay as long as I'm here in my room with you and with Amma and Satsang,

But as soon as I go out there and someone's not happy,

It throws me off.

I love it.

It throws me off.

Okay.

But Laura,

You were the one,

Right,

Who after the dream of being shot at,

You woke up and you went,

Amma's here,

Right?

Okay.

So the same thing happens to these incidences in our lives.

As we make this deep shift into bringing Amma in,

You will no longer feel this way.

Do you see,

Sweetie?

I mean,

The next step is that you have some dream where you're being shot at,

And in the dream,

You realize that you don't have to do this anymore.

Do you see?

Yeah.

It's like this wave of love.

If you just keep focused on Amma giving things over,

The wave of love will just come and gradually transform all of these things.

What I heard in your voice as you spoke,

Though,

Was part of you wants to keep this going.

Part of you wants to keep this very familiar feeling of being like a miserable sinner.

Okay.

Yeah.

Do you understand,

Laura?

Right.

You know,

Everything is showing us about ourselves.

So,

If we were with people and they don't approve of us or indicate that we're doing something wrong,

Then again,

This is solvable in loving the little child within on a deeper level,

Sweetie.

Sweet one,

I want you to understand that this is in motion.

This is where you're going.

This is where it's all good.

It's just taking more time,

Perhaps,

Than you would like.

Isn't that it?

Right.

Right.

Okay,

Good.

Okay.

Now,

Actually,

That is letting in a bit of self-love there,

Just then with that comment where this one acknowledged how Laura might feel personally at this time.

And actually,

Laura,

There was a small shift into more acceptance.

Yeah.

You guys,

Sometimes we have these,

We're almost identified with this is who I am.

I am this person who has trouble when I'm not accepted.

So,

Don't make that your identity.

Make the fact that you're Alma's child your identity.

Laura,

I can feel that right now you don't have the will yet to allow this to be healed,

This issue.

Okay,

You guys,

And this is how subtle it can get.

We can lose our energy to allow something to be healed,

Because were our experiences as a little kid that we were always made wrong,

Say.

Do you see?

So,

We can feel like we don't have the energy to give it to Alma,

To really allow a change,

Because it would change the status quo.

Our experience as a little kid so often imprinted it.

You know,

But you guys,

This is where I going like,

This is this example of this one,

You know,

With like,

It can be done if you just never give up,

Please.

And realize that really nobody else can save you either.

A teacher can encourage you,

A teacher can witness you,

A teacher can energetically support you,

But it's up to you whether you go yes or no.

And Laura,

You see,

My feeling is if you allowed this to change,

That you would start getting such fascinating inner data coming up from inside you.

Do you understand?

Whereas where you go now is,

Oh,

Here it is again,

I'm,

You know,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

But if you allowed this to heal,

You would start getting transcendent information from your soul.

Do you understand this?

Like,

It would be so much more captivating than what you're listening to right now.

Have I lost you on this?

No,

So what I need to do right now is just not listening to it.

Yeah,

It's like decide whether you want to play,

Do you want to listen to this jury or jury old storyline?

Or do you want to start getting really transcendental transcendent information coming up from your soul?

Yeah,

Because it will be one or the other.

Okay.

Okay.

And when you realize,

Pardon?

It's like being at the fork in the road.

Yeah.

Where are you gonna go?

Right.

And then be very patient and gentle with yourself.

It may take time.

It may take some weeks and months to make the shift.

Sweetie pies,

In the old days,

This one would hear my ego.

I hear completely different stuff now.

This is what I'm trying to say.

Love yourselves.

Right.

You too,

Laura.

It,

You know,

And even with this brain disease you've got,

It's like,

Nothing will stop your soul speaking to you.

It doesn't matter what disease you've got.

But personally,

I would love you to be able to hear what your soul really wants to say to you,

Rather than you getting stuck with listening to this dreary,

Dreary stuff again,

Over and over.

And Laura,

Please understand you've already started this because you had that shift where you woke up from the dream and you woke up into feeling Amma.

So,

That is what's coming in now.

You guys,

This one really understands the organic change,

Okay?

And how it operates,

Because I just witnessed it in my own life.

So,

Please,

Please,

Please,

Please,

Please,

Please,

Please,

Please,

Please,

Please,

Please,

Please,

Please,

So,

Please,

Accept the words of what I'm,

What I'm saying to you,

Laura.

You are in the process already of doing this,

Okay?

So,

Relax,

Okay?

Just accept this.

Okay,

Good.

Okay,

Good.

Laura let herself be loved.

That's it,

You guys.

She embraced herself.

That's it.

This is,

This is all I'm really talking about.

But when you do it deeply psychologically,

Then you've,

You,

You open the door.

Yeah,

I know.

I know.

I know.

Jay Ma.

Yeah,

Good.

Yeah.

And everybody will feel the results of this.

All of you guys will.

It's,

You know,

When you witness things,

Okay,

In a family,

It's like when you're in a family,

When you witness things,

It's as if it happened to you when you witness them.

So,

The good news is with the satsangs,

When you witness somebody moving into more self-love,

It,

It happens for you too on some levels,

Some subtle levels,

But it will be happening.

It's like,

It's almost like imprinting you in this new way.

Imprinting you with this new.

You are lovable.

You are loved.

You are good enough.

There's nothing.

This is,

This one feels a great happiness just right now with this.

Yeah.

Yes,

Please.

I just want to say it.

It's Alex.

Oh,

Alex.

Yeah.

Alex.

Yeah.

I feel like you're speaking directly to my experiences these last several weeks and watching everyone's faces.

It seems like we're all nodding and that moment just now where you said she made the shift.

I just felt it.

Right.

I felt it too.

So,

Right.

Yeah.

Thank you.

And you guys,

And even if you didn't feel it,

It's still in there.

Okay.

It's still,

If you didn't feel it,

You know what that means?

It just means that you're,

That that's showing you that you're a little out of touch with your little inner child and you need to love him or her more.

Right.

So many of you do analytical things.

You analyze.

When you're talking to me about your childhood,

You're giving me sort of an analytical sound bite,

But it's not coming from a deep feeling or deep understanding of the child that you were.

You're stepping aside and you're standing on that wall of alienation that I've talked about before,

Talking about the child you were,

But that's useless.

You have to love that child.

You have to love that child with all your heart because that's the God in you.

That's the closest to the God in you.

That will open the door to the creator.

It's like,

You know how they say the door,

Jesus is a door.

It's also your little child self is the door.

You know,

Really,

I personally,

This one thinks Jesus leads us to the little child.

Jesus loves the little child within us.

And so we,

We can open the door to your divinity,

But truly that love for that little one.

Right.

Who got their heart broken.

You dare love that child with a full frontal love,

Not a stepping back and analytic analyzing that child or loving the child the way people do on social media.

And they'll talk about their kid and they're turning the kid into an object.

Don't turn your child self into an object.

You are that child that the woundedness of your child is that's where you are are until you heal out of it until you allow the love in to bring you out of it.

You will be functioning like,

Like a two-year-old or six-year-old or wherever you got stuck.

And that will be your idea of reality.

It's also human,

You guys,

You can't be criticized.

I mean,

It's the game here.

It's the hardest thing to,

When you're feeling all the emotions of the injured child to,

To realize that it's just coming from that.

And it's not true.

It's not absolutely true.

It's just the distorted reality of the hurt child.

And as you love her child,

Your reality will change.

So it will become loving and you will be supported.

It just takes time,

Patience.

And thanks,

Alex,

For speaking.

It helps everybody when any of us come forward.

Yeah.

And,

You know,

You'll see that everything,

You know,

My expression,

Everybody's so into privacy,

But mold grows in dark places,

You guys.

It's just better to bring out all the misunderstandings,

Be willing to just look like a fool.

It doesn't matter.

Just let,

Let the light come.

Yeah.

Because I'll tell you,

You know,

Imagine yourself,

You're sitting in a movie and you're watching,

You know,

Something on the screen and you're believing it and you're lost in it and it's your life.

And then just imagine that the roof comes off the building,

The theater,

And it's a sunny day.

And all of a sudden you can't see the picture on the screen very clearly.

At all.

It just stops having any power on you.

You're just aware of it being a sunny day and everything's okay.

And you come out of this hallucination or being hypnotized by what you think is reality.

By loving your little child self,

That little munchkin.

It's inconvenient,

You know,

Sometimes one might notice,

You know,

Think,

Oh,

I should be really happy right now.

And then you think,

Well,

I'm not happy.

What's wrong?

And you kind of get mad at yourself because you,

Everything should be good.

Well,

Just love yourself,

Speak to the creator,

Ask,

Why am I unhappy when everything should be good?

Just keep this dialogue going with the creator,

Asking,

Asking for information and being willing every step of the way to put your arms around that little munchkin.

Because when you do that,

You put your arms around all your past lives too.

And you see,

You guys,

Many of us find,

We feel like,

Oh,

It's so dreary being myself.

We're kind of running from it.

But you can't get away from it until you face it and clear it,

Because it will just keep presenting.

You know,

That's why in the East,

They talk about desires are the big,

Big mistake.

Because if you're running from your dreary experience,

You think,

Oh,

I want a new car.

And you get a new car.

Well,

Within six months,

It's no longer new.

And you're back to your dreary experience.

Or getting a new wife or husband,

You know.

That little child,

What you think is your dreary experience,

When you turn and actually really start honoring yourself,

You'll start getting a symphony of information.

Information that you could not get any other way except through loving and honoring yourself.

And you guys,

Please,

It takes time.

Like,

You know,

I just really want to inspire you to keep going.

I mean,

It can happen faster now than it ever could before.

But please,

Just be patient.

Yeah.

We're not machines.

You know,

Most of us have done a lot of training of PhDs in idiocy.

We have these patterns.

It's like,

You just have to be very patient.

I was speaking to a dear one,

And I accused her of she was writing a new thesis in her PhD of idiocy.

And she laughed,

You know.

It's great.

She laughed,

And she saw it immediately,

And we moved past it.

But we're all like this.

You guys,

This one is such a fool.

Please,

Please,

You have no idea.

It's like,

It's,

You know,

There's a certain amount of information and knowledge that comes through me,

But you have no idea what a fool I was along the way.

But I just kept coming back to,

I have to love myself.

I really knew there was no way out of it.

I'm so much aware about the two main topics for you,

What you're referring to today,

That self-love is so crucial and is one of the main things I have to develop,

And also embracing my inner child.

But still,

I struggle how to do that in my daily life.

It sounds so easy and so logic from the head,

Right,

Or from the mind.

But still,

How to really bring it into my real experience daily.

Can you say a little bit more on that?

Dear one,

I love you dearly,

But I'm sort of at the end of it,

Man.

Like,

You know,

This is an elaborate game.

I've said many times,

You want to circulate in your head,

Man.

You'll get it when you want it.

You've had a lot of input from this one,

Okay?

Like,

Yep.

This is where I'm going to be hard as a diamond because I'm not playing anymore,

Blessings.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Please come to the satsangs,

But I'm going to have to see something change in you before I engage with you further.

Blessings,

Blessings,

Blessings.

I have a lot of love coming to you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Thank you for thorns,

Eh?

But I'm just giving you back what you give to your child.

Okay?

This is exactly how you are with the truth of you.

So,

You're just getting a reflection of it.

So,

When that changes,

If and when,

We'll both know.

And I'll tell you,

God exists,

God is there.

And so much love is coming to you from this one.

It is,

Life would give me very difficult situations.

So,

I didn't have a difficult situation like this with a teacher.

I got it from life.

And I'll tell you,

It's far harder when you get this stuff from life.

If you say to Amma about,

You know,

Discuss with Amma this,

If you're sincere,

You will get new data.

Okay?

You will get new data and a new understanding will come.

And if you're not sincere,

It won't happen.

And if you're not sincere,

That is just coming from,

You know,

Just part of you wanting to keep the old game going.

It's coming from a very scared child.

It's maybe coming from a very scared child of a scared Mamma.

But there has to be a step beyond.

So,

This one is coming from,

My mother was having a nervous breakdown.

My patterning was so,

So,

So,

So,

So,

Terrible.

So,

The good news about it was,

I had a choice to either be a really marginal person,

If I stayed within,

Or to take the step beyond,

To take a step into a new reality.

And that's what this one chose.

And the power of the love coming through this one is directly related to the enormity of the challenge of stepping past this early bonding chaos.

So,

If this one,

This is what this one had to do.

I support others doing this.

I know it's possible.

I just didn't,

You know,

There was no payoff for me to keep the same game going.

My life was such a mess.

And sometimes,

You know,

That it forced me really to step beyond it.

So,

Sometimes our lives are comfortable enough,

We can limp along.

So,

We don't make that step.

But the trouble is,

If we're comfortable enough to limp along,

And we're not making that step,

What will happen is,

Gradually things will get worse,

Because the universe will not really support refusing to step forward,

When there's an opportunity to step forward and competent help.

And there's no suggestion of being a miserable sinner or of being bad.

But when this one gets hard,

It's coming from the Creator.

And the Creator cannot support refusal to come forward,

When there's an opportunity for it.

Yeah,

You guys,

It is a bit the law of the jungle.

It's like,

You know,

The the Creator,

It is the absolute.

It is true reality.

So,

There's a level of just which side of the absolute do you want to be on?

The love side or the dark side?

The fear side.

This one had many experiences where I wasn't moving forward.

And,

You know,

I didn't have a teacher for a lot of this,

And I wasn't moving forward.

And I would start getting very uncomfortable experiences that caused me to surrender fully.

The truth becomes clear.

That is the whole point of the satsang.

To allow the truth to become clear.

Hi,

Brahmasudha.

Saski,

Can I share something?

When you say that the truth become clear,

I came to the satsang today,

I was not feeling so great.

I felt stuck and I didn't know what it was.

And I was really kind of craving for the satsang.

And when you were talking,

I felt like you were just talking to me.

And when you started the miserable sinner thing,

I really felt like caught because I had that recently,

You know,

With watching TV,

Watching stupid like TV shows in hospitals that made me feel so good.

And I felt so bad about it.

And it was like,

Kind of bang on.

And then when you said it,

It started moving in me.

And I thought,

Oh,

Well,

If it's okay,

I'll do that.

I lie in bed today,

Watch stupid hospital TV shows all day.

And it felt good.

It made me feel so happy.

And I thought,

Okay,

If that's what it needs,

That's what I'll do.

And then you were moving on and talking and then Laura talked and then that shift happened.

And all of a sudden,

I felt much,

Much deeper feeling that I had when you when it talked about the little munchkin,

I got really sad and upset.

And I was feeling myself being in the hospital when I was little,

And it felt really bad for a moment.

And then this opening and the sun coming in,

In the movie theater,

Just kind of not took it away,

But shed light on it.

And it was the process kind of went along with me through the satsang.

And I don't know,

It might have been ego,

But I feel so much better now.

And I feel,

Yeah,

I feel a bit nervous about sharing it,

But I feel better about myself and the whole situation.

And I thought I wanted to share that because when we asked about how to do it,

Being in the satsang and just going along with it,

Me personally,

I find that very,

Very helpful.

I just wanted to say that and also thank you for that.

Yeah.

Saskia,

That's great.

And also,

Sweetie,

I feel like in your meditation times,

That you need more permission to contact your soul energy.

Yeah.

Right.

As if you're scared,

As if there's a little bit of fear around really allowing your soul to speak to you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So,

Just keep that in mind and it's all good.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

So,

This satsang has been a little intense.

You guys,

It's not kindergarten,

You know,

Spiritual journey.

It's not kindergarten.

Yeah.

We all want to just be loved and validated in a pleasant way.

But sometimes,

You know,

To be loved,

Actually,

We need to get a really big wake-up call.

Yeah.

And it's love,

But it doesn't feel like it,

Maybe.

Yeah.

But it is.

And may all of our hearts crack open,

You know.

And Abraham was dropped out two miles out and,

You know,

As a test for the shamanism.

And,

You know,

If you trusted you didn't get eaten by sharks,

If you got caught in fear that you got eaten by sharks,

You know,

There's a,

You know,

It's not kindergarten.

It's God doesn't come cheap.

And,

You know,

In the times when Amma got really hard with me,

As soon as I could find a way to kind of face it and connect up with her again,

It was all fine.

She says,

You know,

When the teacher's giving you a hard time,

It's like if you just with a rope,

If it's like burned,

Got a burned end at it.

If you just touch the rope,

Touch the burned thing,

The burned,

The ashes all dissolve off.

It's just temporary.

We can be playing games without realizing it.

And in the old days,

Or not wanting to face it,

You know,

It's more the truth.

And in the old days,

Life would,

Like I say,

Would give me really difficult situations.

And then as I faced them,

All of a sudden,

All this stuff just resolved so seamlessly.

Yeah,

It's,

You know,

Guys,

The spiritual journey,

It takes everything you've got.

It will take everything you've got,

Because it's your ego that has to dissolve.

You see,

You have to let your ego dissolve and let your soul come through.

And let your soul give you a new understanding,

A new meaning.

Right.

And it will get done.

It will happen.

It's a loving universe.

You just have to,

Like,

Take a step back and go,

Oh,

God,

What do I do now?

Give it over.

You guys,

The journey,

It's like the law of the jungle.

It's like you either,

You know,

Really sincerely hold on to truth no matter what,

Focus on love,

And allow your ego to dissolve,

And then make progress,

Or you don't do that.

And you just circle around in your ego.

Which I'll tell you,

If you get sick of your ego,

And pray sincerely,

You will get help.

You will get guidance.

You'll never be left alone.

And sometimes,

You guys,

The feelings of the child might come up,

The hopelessness and helplessness.

It's like,

Go to that spiritual psychology book that this one wrote,

And receive support.

You know,

It's just a temporary spot for the little child within.

Right.

It is healable.

You give the hopelessness and helplessness over to Amma.

And it will heal.

Right.

This happened over and over again.

And that spiritual psychology book was written from the mud that turned into the lotus.

Please,

You guys,

If you're here,

You're sincere.

This one is so soft and gentle that I have to be hard sometimes,

Otherwise the training gets lost,

And I cannot allow that.

Okay.

What's the point?

There'd be no point.

Sometimes this one has to be hard.

Amma was hard with me,

But my heart goes out to you,

Because I know the confusion,

But it's healable.

All of you guys,

For all of you,

My heart goes out to all of you.

Well,

Last call for comments,

Or.

.

.

Yeah,

Michael?

Hi,

Prabhupada.

I just wanted to recount a very brief experience.

When I was meditating the other day,

It was really,

You know,

When you spoke about bringing,

You know,

Our life on earth,

And our creator,

You know,

Creator energies together,

I felt or I experienced that as a very powerful surge of energy,

Something I'd never,

Never encountered before.

It felt very shamanic.

I can't explain why.

And I,

For a brief moment,

I understood,

You know,

The importance of the animal spirits,

And sort of the kingdom on the other side.

I can't say more than that.

But it was just a great experience.

And like I say,

It was very brief.

Yeah,

That's it.

That's,

You know,

That's what it's like with the embodying.

You start to embody,

And you have experiences like that.

It's good.

Okay,

You guys.

Well,

Thank you for coming.

Blessings.

Yeah.

And keep your minds up.

Keep the remembering your loved.

Do,

You know,

Subliminal support for your,

Keep your minds up if you need it,

Or music.

Yeah.

Okay,

You guys.

Blessings.