Come Home To The Truth Within You

I'm speaking to divine presences within your bodies.

On the higher levels,

I'm speaking to one.

I'm a divine presence speaking to the divine presence.

It's just so ridiculous.

It's so ridiculous.

But the thing I really want to support,

And the word support is way too shallow and limited.

It's more a firm,

It's more almost fertilized.

It's to take care of,

Care for,

Take care of.

This respond to this presence within you.

It is who you really are.

You are a presence here on the earth.

I mean,

Really,

You're not even here on earth in a way.

It's like you are in your soul energy,

And you're having a dream.

It just gets so,

You know,

It's why the,

I'm sure the,

You know,

Whatever the Chinese Buddhists or whoever came up with them,

The koan,

The question that slays the mind,

You know,

Like,

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

It's not answerable by the logical,

Linear mind.

So,

Teachers would use this.

They would give a student a question like that,

And then let the student stew in it,

Stew away.

And the teacher would,

The student would come up,

And they'd say,

You know,

Somebody might say some kind of response like,

I don't know,

A thunderclap or something.

And if this answer was coming from truth,

If it was coming from the soul,

The teacher would accept it,

Would applaud it.

And if,

Even though,

You know,

And if the question wasn't coming from,

If the answer wasn't coming from truth,

The teacher would indicate to the student,

If the answer wasn't coming from truth,

The teacher would indicate this.

But the thing is,

The answer could be the same words spoken by the students,

But one set of words was coming from truth.

And the teacher would discern it,

The difference,

And respond.

So,

The student that came up with,

You know,

Thunderclap,

But was in their ego,

They would be filled with,

You know,

Hopelessness,

Helplessness,

I'm a failure,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

All the stuff that we get filled with when our ego's challenged.

When our ego's being asked to die and doesn't want to.

And all those feelings that come up belong to the ego,

They don't belong to the self,

Which is the observer of it all.

Now,

The student who,

Even though may be angry at the teacher for discouraging him,

Or for saying it was a wrong answer,

Which discouraged the student,

That maybe the student feels like the teacher filled him with hopelessness and helplessness,

And it's all the teacher's fault,

It's whether the student has the dispassion to move out of blame of the teacher,

Or other people,

Or of himself.

And just go,

Okay,

I'll just try it again.

You know,

I'm climbing up this mountain,

I'll just try again.

So,

This is the challenge of working with,

You know,

Students,

Is the answer is outside the intellect,

It is outside the ego.

But the ego doesn't believe there's anything other than it,

And it is trying to save you.

It's what it feels like,

It's trying to save you from the great empty void of existence,

From the terror of existence,

Because the ego is formed in terror.

So,

This is what it's like,

And it's why the journey is so kind of bumbling,

Confusing.

It's kind of impossible.

The journey is actually impossible,

Because it will feel like that,

That it's impossible to do it,

Because you see,

It's impossible for the ego to do it.

Only the soul can do it.

And so,

The sad sayings strengthen the soul.

And so,

The sad sayings strengthen the soul.

Yeah.

Our meditations strengthen the soul.

Thinking about Amma.

Kindness to others.

It all strengthens the soul.

And the more the soul is strengthened,

The wobblier and weaker the ego gets.

So,

Amma talks about how you pour clear water into a glass of salty water until all the glass is clear.

That's it.

I'm just experiencing a huge overflowing of love for you all and great awareness of how impossible the journey can seem at certain points.

And I feel it's like a reverence for what you're doing,

A reverence for anyone who turns toward the presence within them,

Towards the Amma within them,

Towards the Amma within them.

Toward the presence within them,

Towards the Amma within you,

Because she's inside you.

Yeah,

She isn't anywhere else.

I mean,

You know,

Because she's inside you,

You see her on the outside.

And I'm,

You know,

I just want you guys to get this in your own time,

You know,

And it will be through grace.

It'll be the grace of your own soul,

Of your own inner Amma bringing this awareness,

Like helping this awareness touch in,

Helping this awareness come home to you.

For you to come home to the truth within you,

Which is you are a divine being in human form.

You cannot make any mistakes,

Any serious ones.

Do you know what I mean?

It's just,

It's all just ephemeral.

It's all just just illusion that we're in.

And it feels so real.

And people get locked up in loony bins for saying it's not real,

You know.

But the thing is,

And what I'm wanting to encourage is that you consciously walk forward as a presence.

That you keep returning to yourself as a divine presence.

That you sort of de-emphasize your humanness and think of yourself as a presence.

And still go through the normal human things,

You know,

The day saying hello to people at work,

All those things.

But you're secretly walking around with the fact you're a presence.

And you can keep thinking about this and reaffirming this,

And you will start more acting like a presence.

Less like your human self.

So,

You know,

If you feel a twinge of anger,

If you keep thinking yourself as a presence,

You'll see the anger more clearly,

Do you see?

This is how you move into witnessing,

Basically.

You start seeing everything about you that is not functioning as a presence.

And see,

Guys,

It can take a while and endless patience.

Yeah.

And it's okay.

Like,

You have all the time in the world to do it,

You know?

I see you as presences,

You guys.

And if I ever,

Like,

You know,

Push you away,

Or,

You know,

Go after you a little bit,

It's because I'm like,

You're a presence.

Will you just get it?

You're a presence.

You're a divine presence.

Yeah.

That's it.

That's the truth of you.

That's it.

That's good.

So,

It's to,

You know,

As gradually as you want,

Slide into living as a presence.

Right.

It is what you are.

So,

You see,

It's not really a stretch because it's actually the truth of you.

This presence within you has enormous understanding of why you are as you are.

This presence within you knows all your past lives and your conditioning this life that has caused you to be as you are.

And your presence finds you very beautiful just as you are,

Just with all the flaws and the misunderstandings and all of it.

All of it.

All of you.

It's just the presence within you knows that you're not really your human self.

Your presence within you knows that you're it,

That you're this eternal being.

This presence within you knows that you're your heart,

This presence within you knows that you're your heart.

It's just like when we go up for a hug from Amma.

She hugs all of us,

Our soul,

Our human self,

All of our past lives,

All of our conditioning.

She hugs the whole thing.

And she loves the whole thing,

Even though we might go like the whole mess,

Right?

That's what we feel like,

What a mess.

But for,

You know,

The,

For the presence,

We're just wonderful in all of it.

In all of it.

It is not going out,

Out,

Damn spot.

It's not going,

Oh,

We got to get over this really quickly.

Come on,

Come on.

You,

You,

You better work on this.

You better.

It is not doing that.

It's like a baby's going to poo their pants,

Right?

They need help,

Right?

I mean,

It's sort of like a,

You know,

Extra blessing from Mother Nature that when the baby's being breastfed,

That even the feces kind of smell sweet,

You know?

But still,

When the poop smells like,

Oh,

You love that baby.

You don't yell at the poop.

This is what your souls are like with you.

Yeah.

It's this,

We slowly need to get our minds around.

And if,

You know,

We have self-hatred,

You know,

Being too hard on yourself,

All this stuff comes up.

It is always the ego saying these things.

The soul would never do that.

It's like any authentic teacher working with a student knows that a true no is better than a false yes.

So,

If the student,

The teacher's trying to communicate something,

And the student's going no and walling it off,

That is better than a student pretending to get it.

That is better than a student pushing down the no inside and pretending to go along with what the teacher's saying.

It's the difference between,

You know,

A false flower can never grow.

A plastic flower can never grow.

It can never sprout.

But a no of,

You know,

Coming up like from the student of,

That can't be true.

No,

I'm not going to move forward.

That can always change.

It's like that can transform into a yes.

The most violent no,

When it turns into a yes,

You get a superstar spiritual seeker.

You get an extreme spiritual seeker in service to truth when the no has been very violent,

And if that's transformed.

But if a student just covers all that up and says,

Yes,

Yes,

Teacher,

Yes,

Yes,

It's just like a plastic flower that there's just,

It's useless.

One of the big challenges working with people is there's always a secondary gift or payoff for any difficulty we have,

Okay?

Whatever the difficulty is,

There's some kind of payoff for it that the person experiences.

And this payoff will be what they're using to block their soul,

To say no to God,

To say no to their soul.

So sometimes,

You know,

When we're sick,

The byproduct is we get a lot of attention.

That can be one.

And not to say that if somebody's sick,

That that's what they're trying for,

But it can be a secondary thing that comes that helps prop up the ego.

So this is where we have to like take a very big 360-degree look at whatever our difficulty is and actually ask ourselves,

What is the plus?

How does it let us off the hook?

How is it something that we can hide behind?

But again,

Not in a judging way,

You guys.

It's just that what I found for myself is I had to see my own darkness before I could surrender,

You know?

And actually,

The seeing of the darkness is the surrender.

It's sort of like you get gently busted by your own soul.

Okay,

There's some of you that are getting really heady over this.

Please don't go in to try to fix yourself.

I'm not wanting that.

Please don't.

I'm just wanting to like help you clear kind of a lot of area around you so that your perceptions have more maneuvering room,

So that you can see the lay of the land a bit.

Okay,

I've lost some of you on this.

Yeah,

There's such this,

You guys,

We're so programmed to think stuff is our fault.

This is what I'm reaching you guys.

It's this,

Oh,

It's my fault.

I have to do,

I'm doing it wrong.

There's something I have to do.

I'm doing it wrong.

And it isn't that,

At all.

It's just a stage of development,

Basically.

But again,

I'm getting like,

Not to go further with this.

It's just,

You know,

I had all the time in the world to look at myself,

Okay?

Because I,

I,

I,

I was just,

I was just,

I was just,

I was just,

I was just,

I was just,

I was just,

Okay,

Because I,

I,

I ranged to work very little.

You know,

I put up with a lot of poverty as a result,

But I,

I had a lot of time.

And with all this time,

I kind of,

You know,

I had to kind of face myself or else just get really bored.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And there's,

You guys,

Again,

At the higher levels,

It's very clear that is pure grace that brings us up the mountain,

That we are not in control of whether we wake up this life or not.

We are not in control of even our progress.

And we are not in control of,

You know,

It's all done by the creator.

And that's why it's,

You know,

Christ said,

Except as you become his little children,

It's like when you realize like that,

You really are like a little kid and there is something way bigger than you running the show.

You relax and you become very happy.

It,

It is,

It is on some levels,

The stupidest thing,

Really.

It's,

It's like out of the biggest joke.

Right.

Okay.

It's funny because you can,

You're letting this permeate into you.

And this is good because this will help your presence.

This will help strengthen your presence.

You know,

It just happened to me over time that I got not interested in going to great places to eat,

To restaurants to eat stuff,

Like all the stuff that,

You know,

Normally entrances people.

It just didn't,

I just,

I just felt neutral about a lot of stuff.

About a lot of stuff.

It just comes as a byproduct.

Your presence gets stronger and you get simpler and freer.

And please don't load anything I've said on top of your heads.

Please don't,

Don't do that,

Please.

And if you have,

Just give it over,

Because you guys are divine presences,

Just as you are.

And this,

We,

You know,

We can't figure it out with our heads,

But it dawns in our hearts.

The truth dawns in our hearts.

That's it.

Some of you are scared to let it dawn in your heart.

Yeah,

I get it.

That's okay.

It's actually already there.

You can't stop it from dawning.

It's there.

But this is a joke.

It's already dawned in your heart.

It is you.

It's just a little unsettling to realize this.

That's all.

It's unsettling for the ego.

Not for your true self that knows,

Like,

Yeah.

I was very touched by what Miriam spoke of last week.

Miriam,

When you talked about,

You know,

Going into life,

Wanting to evolve,

And being aware of your heart opening and closing.

And you guys,

That is basically the journey.

That's it.

Really,

That's it.

And as you,

You know,

Experience the heart closing,

And you work hard to open it again,

You know,

You do whatever you can to help yourself.

And then your heart will open,

And you will have more of a picture.

A picture of an understanding of yourself,

And a bigger picture and understanding of what seems to be the outside world.

It takes great courage to live like this.

But this courage happens when you realize that you're kind of at the end of the line.

Indeed,

The human race is at the end of the line,

You guys.

So,

It's like,

This is a leap.

It's like we're,

The level we've been living at isn't going to work.

And,

You know,

If you're not there yet,

First of all,

Maybe you are there,

And you're not realizing it.

Okay?

But if you think that you're not there yet,

Like,

Just listen.

It's okay.

What you're doing is exactly where you need to be.

It's not wrong.

It's like shells have to crack open before the new sprout can grow.

Just being where you are is a holy task.

Okay?

It's a holy place.

It's a sacred place.

Please get this.

Wherever you are is a sacred place on the journey.

It is not a mistake.

It has to be this way.

Yeah,

Good.

Yeah,

Please get that.

You know,

It's to get the fullness of the love embrace coming from your soul,

From Ama,

From me as much as possible,

To get this love embrace of total understanding.

Right.

And it's just for you to wake up to the extent that you're understood and loved.

So,

When I'm talking,

You know,

If you think of talking to sleepy people,

You're saying words,

You're saying words,

But they don't really get the meaning because they're half in sleep and everything.

But then when they become fully awake,

They get what you mean.

So,

This is what it's like teaching people too.

It's sort of like some half awake,

Some half getting it,

Some awake.

But the process is you will awaken just like coming out of a slumber,

Somebody's talking to you.

If you just keep listening,

You'll wake up and you'll start getting it.

You'll go,

Oh.

Listen,

I remember the moment when I realized that everything that Ama was saying was directed to me.

It wasn't her being theoretical about stuff.

It wasn't her talking about the journey in abstract.

She was speaking directly to Premasuddha about Premasuddha's experience.

And the light dawned in me.

And I'm like,

What planet was I on that I didn't see this before?

But I was,

It's the snooziness,

It's the sleepiness,

And it's okay.

But everything you hear actually from anybody is coming to you for a reason.

I walked by a woman yesterday who was,

She was standing at the backseat door and she was screaming at her children in just a horrible,

Horrible way.

And I,

You know,

It started,

I could hear it a block away.

And I started up,

You know,

Got closer and closer.

And I,

You know,

I stopped and I looked inside and there were two big young men in there.

Like they were,

You know,

13,

14.

They were real teenagers.

They were strong guys.

And this woman was just cutting them to shreds.

And they were sitting with this docility.

And at the same time,

The level of darkness in the car coming from them,

It was off the charts.

It was like,

You know,

Future guys that were going to cause trouble or have trouble,

You know.

So,

There it was.

And I'm like,

So I,

You know,

I do,

You know,

I just poured love and nectar and waved at these guys,

Even though they were like 13 and 14 and solid.

It's like,

I'm like,

Oh God.

Oh God.

And she,

You know,

She was really distraught.

And I guess a really unhappy person because she couldn't get the love with which I was stopping.

And it's,

I get it.

I don't think she knows anything about love for a woman.

I don't think she's ever experienced it.

And she really didn't respond to what was coming through this one.

And so,

I walked on,

But I kind of stood against the wall a little farther on and watched because she kept screaming even after I'd stopped.

So,

I was just watching.

And,

You know,

What I ended up doing was,

I took a picture of the car and the license plate number.

Now,

I wasn't particularly thinking I was going to do anything,

But it was like,

I just felt to do that.

And then,

You know,

She stopped.

I guess they said,

This woman's taking a picture.

She stopped and got into the car.

She shouted at me too,

But I have set in motion Amma to work with them.

Yeah.

For the long term.

I've asked Amma to do that,

Particularly for this family.

And I also took it as,

Not in a blaming way,

But I also took it as,

Well,

There's a reason why I've come across this.

This is what I thought.

There's a reason I've come across this.

And I said,

You know,

If there's anything like this energy in me,

May it release out and dissolve.

Because I came across it,

You know.

So,

I take seriously stuff that I come across.

And the funny thing was,

When I looked,

The picture didn't show up.

Even though I took the picture and it was there,

But when I went back,

Because I was half thinking about maybe I should do something,

That just,

It was so,

The energy was so horrible,

But the picture wasn't there.

So,

It was like,

Yeah,

Don't do anything.

There's nothing to do.

Just don't do anything.

You know,

And these boys,

They weren't little kids.

They weren't like two or three.

But I'll tell you,

Those kids had got that their whole lives.

It showed.

And this is,

You know,

Where I talk about our emotional IQs.

You see,

We cannot do the spiritual path without paying attention to emotional IQ.

And it is the lack of attention to emotional IQ that is causing this kind of decline in how humans treat each other.

So,

Sometimes with the spiritual journey,

We can get caught in the religiosity of things.

We can get caught in the black and white and the judgment,

We can get caught in the black and white and the judgment,

And we lose our emotional IQ.

So,

What,

And this work is really focused on,

Is helping to fertilize and support this really large emotional IQ to come back.

Because it will solve the religiosity in you.

It will solve the heavy judgment in you.

It will solve the black and whiteness of your thinking.

It's just this big emotional IQ,

This big understanding of humanity in a way,

Of your own humanity,

And a forgiveness of your humanity.

Okay.

Now,

This maybe is hitting home because it's the key and the core of this work.

But really,

It's the key and core of any spiritual movement.

It's just that it's not highlighted.

It's not really spoken about.

But the person who achieves self-realization has moved into a very high emotional IQ.

It's not a rigid,

Narrow thinking that gets you into self-realization.

And it's where people on the journey,

We all get stuck.

It's like that.

So,

I told you that I didn't do a belly laugh for 10 years.

I was so stuck in bad and good,

And whether I was doing it right or wrong.

And you see,

The whole thing on a bigger level,

The whole thing is just a ridiculous game.

It's like the laughing Buddha.

The game is to achieve enlightenment.

But the joke is,

You guys are already enlightened in yourselves.

You're already enlightened.

You're being,

You're already self-realized.

You just have forgotten it.

You just can't feel it.

Okay.

Can you feel that in your body that you can't feel it?

If you can feel that in your body a little bit,

How much you can't feel it,

It's actually starting to come up to clear.

Because the part,

If you can feel it in your body,

Of that you can't feel it,

It is,

You're just feeling your ego.

You're just,

It's part of your ego is being dislodged.

If you can feel it in your body,

That's it.

You just give it over to Amma.

That's it.

You just give it over to Amma.

A really,

Really accelerating thing to do is imagine your body inside Amma.

And you know,

Your ego might even go like,

That's not allowed.

But it is actually a tried and true spiritual movement,

Technique.

It kind of goes zero to a hundred.

Because if you imagine yourself in Amma's body,

Then you're strengthening your soul and you're weakening your ego just with that thought,

You know.

But don't do it to weaken your ego.

Like,

Don't have that intention.

Just,

Just want to strengthen your presence.

Yeah.

Right.

Okay,

Good.

You guys,

It affects our bodies,

You know.

In the old days,

I didn't digest my food very well because I had so much self-hatred running.

And it was just a matter of catching the self-hatred and embracing myself and forgiving myself and seeing what I did to myself and refusing to continue it.

You know,

Going,

I want to wake up this life.

I don't want to live this way.

Yeah.

So,

It's interesting.

You guys,

A lot of you started moving around,

Squirming.

Yeah,

We're talking about self-hatred here.

Doo doo,

Busted.

All of you.

All of you who moved,

Okay.

Please,

And just accept this like a loving embrace.

Right.

Right.

Good.

That's how simple it is.

Yeah.

Skip it over.

Yeah.

Good.

Good.

Any questions or comments,

Or does anybody have any comments about the impact of last Satsang,

Or just about anything that's on your mind?

And again,

We'll just keep going.

And if it's too long,

Then just,

You know,

You can go,

And all my blessings.

But some people may want to stay.

Yeah.

Sri Lakshmi,

You had a,

You have a question?

Do you?

Hi.

Yeah.

Good morning,

Everyone.

Yes,

I just,

No,

I don't have a question.

It just went right out of my head.

I just wanted to say thank you.

Oh,

Oh,

Bless your heart.

Bless you.

Okay.

Yeah.

Thorsten?

Yes.

Sri Lakshmi?

Thorsten?

Yes.

Sri Lakshmi?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Microphone is on.

Thanks again for,

Thanks first for the beautiful words.

And I have a question.

Sometimes I feel maybe it's like,

Or where I'm standing currently,

I feel words sound opposing what you're saying.

I'll give you an example where it came up to me where I maybe lack the understanding,

Or sometimes even controversial.

Like,

On the one hand,

I understand you're saying,

It's not us doing,

It's basically only our soul is doing it,

Right?

And it's only grace who can really basically rescue us,

However you want to call it,

Which on the one hand,

Gives a lot of relief and makes me feel lighter and easier,

Right?

On the other hand,

I hear you saying,

We really need to yearn for it.

We need the strong will to grow.

And on top to that,

From what I understand from Amma,

I think you might have said it as well,

But the grace is not just flowing.

On the one hand,

It's constantly flowing there.

But on the other hand,

At least what I understand,

We some kind of need to be ready to earn the grace somehow,

Right?

It might be to live a more ethical,

Proper life,

To do our sadhana properly.

So,

How does that go together?

On the one hand,

It's not us doing it,

It's only grace.

But on the other hand,

It's strong yearning,

Willing,

And we need to earn the grace.

It sounds controversial to me and opposing even.

Yeah.

So,

Remember last week,

I was talking about just listen and make space in your heart for it all.

Yeah.

Yep.

Yeah.

That's actually,

Trilla Chan,

That is your gateway home.

Yeah.

It's making space in your heart for it,

Even though it doesn't make any sense.

And you just.

.

.

Yep.

You know,

The process is very like,

You know,

Your child growing up,

And the child's aware of,

You know,

The parents' egos and where the parents are blind and everything,

And it has this unhappiness,

And it goes through and it goes resentful and everything.

But later on in maturity,

The child will look back and they'll see the love with which the parents raised them.

They'll see the way that they got what they needed,

And that everything that happened made them who they are.

So,

It's like the child sees it when they grow,

They see it through almost a different pair of eyes than the child had going through it.

Yeah.

It's the same principle.

It's the same principle.

It's like you won't be able to understand all this until your vibration gets high enough that it's easy to get.

Yeah.

And what I'm.

.

.

I don't want to make you wrong or draw an outline where you are.

It's like you are this already,

Trilla Chan.

You already have this bigger understanding.

It's just a matter of learning to embody it.

Learn to embody it by being humbled over and over by,

You know,

All the stuff we go through.

So,

It's that's fine.

It's fine.

It's fine.

It's fine.

It's fine.

Trilla Chan,

I feel like it's this ongoing shift out of your head more into your heart.

So,

This everything that doesn't make sense,

You just put it,

Let it sit in your heart and percolate away.

And truth will,

Absolute truth,

Pure alma energy will come as a result of just letting it cook and distill.

Yeah.

And you just walk around with the insecurity of it,

With the confusion of it.

And you just focus on presence,

That you're a presence.

And you live that and you act that way and you do whatever you can to live it.

That is the bridge from the head to the heart.

You live it and by living it,

You see that it works,

That it's true,

That it's trusting,

It's trustable.

It's a trustworthy process.

That it's true,

That God exists and you are deeply,

Deeply loved and you are that God.

And it just becomes clear by going to the effort of embodying living it.

But even that,

Trilla Chan,

Is grace coming from your soul about whether you live it or not.

You see,

We're in these lives and we've got our work for our particular life.

And that's what we're faced with.

But I'll tell you,

Your deep heart is stronger than anything that I see in you.

Your love,

Your deep,

Deep heart-based understanding that's in there is stronger than anything.

So when I look at you,

That's what I see.

I totally believe that,

But I cannot,

As you said,

Incorporate it yet.

I cannot live it yet.

Yeah,

But understand,

You can't live it yet because part of you doesn't want to,

Because there's a secondary gain for what you're doing.

It's a stop,

You know?

And that's what we're like,

You know?

Even the nervous breakdowns I went through,

Which actually helped me a lot in the journey,

But the gain was I was trying to run from life and my family,

Particularly the emotional climate of my family,

I was trying to run from it.

So the gain of it was that I didn't have to deal with.

.

.

It was like trying to get off the hook.

And,

You know,

What I found was it didn't work,

So I came back and faced it all.

But during that period,

It was like people had to take care of me,

You know?

I couldn't do it myself.

You know,

There was some gains to that,

Being taken care of,

Even.

Not having to take care of my kids,

Not feeling to be responsible for my kids,

It was like,

You know,

It was like kind of a relief to try to offload.

But then on a deeper level,

I saw that I could never offload it,

That I was responsible and nothing was going to change that.

And,

You know,

The thing was,

I really knew that if I kept my pretense going,

If I really did it,

I knew that if,

Supposing I sent the kids into care,

I went,

Okay,

Premise is it really is two Looney Tunes,

That the families they went to would be worse.

Do you know what I mean?

It wasn't like the issue could be solved.

Yes,

It's this.

When you get that,

It's this.

When you get that,

That you're totally checkmated,

You guys,

When we get that we're totally checkmated by life,

By what we are being asked to do this life,

By our job this life,

That it's never going to go away,

That it's always going to be there,

Then we deal.

You just go,

Okay,

I'll deal with it.

And it's like,

Okay,

I'm really going to listen to what premise is saying really deeply.

It's a shift like that,

You guys.

It's like,

Okay,

I'm going to let this woman get through to me a little more deeply.

Or I'm going to let Alma get through to me.

I'm going to go to the ashram,

Whatever it is.

But sometimes it's just a subtle shift.

Okay,

I'm really going to listen to this.

Yeah,

That's good.

And remember,

All the words I choose when I'm speaking to you,

I'm speaking to levels in you beyond your consciousness.

Yeah.

But I'll tell you,

There's a light in your aura now,

Jola-Chan.

It's coming from your heart,

And it's a light around your aura.

Right.

That's it.

That's it.

That's it.

And the thing is,

You see,

I know these games in myself so much that I have total compassion.

Like,

I get it.

This is what we're like.

And it's not even our fault.

We've just been trained,

Over-trained into our heads.

That's all.

So,

When we're over-trained into our heads,

We get tricky.

And game-playing,

Because a child realized they couldn't keep their innocent nature,

They were going to have to go tricky and play games to go along with the family.

And this is the unlearning of all this.

The unlearning.

The unlearning.

That's it.

Oh,

Good.

I'm happy.

This is good,

You know.

And this happiness is coming from beyond consciousness for me.

So,

It's something that we've done together.

Yeah.

It's real light happiness I'm feeling.

Yeah.

Please,

Is anybody else wish to speak up for a question,

Or?

Una?

Yes.

Hello.

Yeah,

I don't know if I can say what I really mean,

But I have the same what Torsten just said.

Torsten just said it's this kind of two things,

Right?

And so,

On one hand,

You're supposed to relax,

Take it easy,

Love yourself,

Be compassionate and stuff.

And that on the other hand,

You also have to have the bump,

Right?

You have to do it.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

So,

This seems to be kind of,

Sometimes you don't get it right.

And what I really like,

Yes,

On last week's Satsang,

You were very much emphasizing this.

You got to do it.

You got to do it,

You know?

And that's why then that anger came up.

Okay.

So,

What you're experiencing,

It's again,

Like just make place in your heart for it all,

Because what you're experiencing is your own split inside you,

Psychologically.

It's a split inside you at an ego level,

Like as a child,

Splitting off from your soul.

Okay.

So,

That's why you've got,

Like it looks confusing.

So,

Yeah.

So,

You just walk around with it in your heart.

You just live with not knowing.

You just live with the conflict.

But you guys,

There's so many of you that greet me with your heads,

Rather than realizing that you're a presence and keeping that,

Like as a presence,

Choosing to evolve and noticing when your heart goes open or closed.

It's,

You know,

If you meet me with your head,

There are going to be a lot of confusions and questions.

And that's okay.

That's okay,

Because I'll tell you what will happen is you will experience overload and you will finally surrender.

It's like your head will get so big with these kind of questions and how does this work and how does this work,

That you will surrender and that split in you will be healed.

Do you understand?

If you do the surrender at a deepen,

But just getting that split you see or feeling is in you.

It's in your physiology.

It's in your psychology.

It is in every aspect of your experience.

And so,

Sometimes we have to walk around feeling kind of split.

And so,

You just imagine yourself inside Amma.

You imagine love coming to you,

Whatever.

You might feel deep sorrow.

You cry.

And you unite.

And it's,

You know,

You will just find your way.

But you're very open to what I said to you,

You know.

Right.

Yeah,

I think I understand.

Yeah,

I know.

I know what you mean.

So.

Yeah.

You understand.

Of course,

Talking about it also brings you back in the head,

Right?

In a way.

Oh,

Yes and no.

I mean,

It just shows you how lodged you are in your head.

It's not,

It's just showing you your point of growth.

It's showing you your next step.

Right.

Right.

You know,

A big next step would be turning to Amma and saying,

Okay,

May this split heal as gently and easily as possible.

With all the support you need.

You see,

This is,

This is,

You know.

Yeah.

I mean,

We have this power.

We've got the power to say,

Okay,

I want this healed.

And then it's like,

You go through it.

And that's why there's somebody like me,

Like,

Why keep like emails or phone calls if you get really in a,

If you get stuck in a spot,

I'm there.

Right.

Yeah.

You see,

Lots of us are,

We have a secondary gain from staying in our heads.

Yeah.

I'm feeling a little bit of ambivalence in you about whether you want to go allow this split to be healed.

Are you aware of that?

No.

No.

You're feeling like you really want it?

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay,

Good.

Good.

Okay,

Good.

Good.

Good.

Okay,

Good.

So,

I was picking up on some stuff going on in your ego and by speaking it to you.

And you going,

No,

I want to move into truth.

That helped clear that resistance.

Okay.

Because the real pay dirt comes when we feel great sorrow at how separate we are.

When we cry,

Or when we cry in great yearning to,

To embody Amma,

To be close to her.

To be close to the Creator.

Yeah.

So,

Our spiritual movement will take us,

Real spiritual movement will take us one or the other.

Crying for,

To be closer to Amma,

To one and one body is the soft,

Gentle way to learn.

The harder way is this experience of great sorrow at how separate we are.

And a really safe place to play is in working with yourself for the yearning,

For your yearning to become stronger.

For your,

Yeah,

For the yearning and for your prayer to be more and more authentic.

You see,

We have power.

We feel powerless,

But we have this power.

You make these inner steps and your life will change.

That's it.

And it's okay to circle around in your head,

You guys.

But the more you can just walk around with all of this being in your heart and walk around with the uncertainty of how to do the journey and how to navigate,

That's good.

Because it will make you turn to Amma or the Creator more strongly out of your insecurity.

You see,

Yeah.

The more you love yourselves,

The more your digestion will work and you will receive the nutrients and food that you need.

The more your bodies will draw pesticides or heavy metals or whatever.

So,

We don't have to be threatened by food.

You can go higher.

Always you can go higher.

That is the safest place to play.

Just want to go higher.

The other thing,

The other thing that I want to talk about is I really want to emphasize,

You guys,

The patience that's required is almost beyond human capacity.

But our souls bring it in,

Okay.

Our souls are very,

Very patient with us.

The level of patience required is off the charts,

Truly.

It's the person who just never gives up,

No matter what.

Yeah,

The absolute patience.

Can't tell you the number.

I would watch myself do the same thing yet again.

I would feel how unfree I was,

How trapped I was.

Over and over again.

And I would like make one tiny move sometimes.

I'd have a big insight.

Something would happen where it was like,

Okay,

This is proof that this works.

You will always get enough to keep going.

The thing with being patient is whatever is at the beginning is at the end.

So if in your impatience,

You get sort of interested in the end result,

Just out of your impatience,

You short circuit something or you twist something,

You short circuit something or you twist something or you do something internally because you want that particular outcome.

The outcome will have a worm in it.

You only get a good outcome if the beginning is very pure.

Then you will get an outcome that is very pure.

And it takes incredible patience and devotion to the creator,

Amma.

It's like I remember reading about this woman who was helping people travel the world doing healing work.

And I really wanted to do that early.

I had a really strong drive to share it.

But I didn't go because I knew that if it happened,

It had to happen organically as a result of my,

The freeing of the gift within me,

Of the more truth within me,

That I couldn't get it,

That it would fail.

I just knew it would fail,

That I'd end up paying this woman lots of money to do this promotion of me.

And I just knew it wouldn't fly because I just knew it would only happen organically if it was true.

Do you know that?

If it was true,

It would happen organically.

And if it happened in a forced way,

It wasn't going to work.

Yeah,

It's this,

You guys.

So you just put up with life.

So I just put up with life,

Living my life without traveling and sharing it.

And it's like,

I just went,

Okay,

Show me,

God,

Show me.

You just kind of patiently put up with your dreams not coming true yet until they start coming true.

Yeah.

And the more in truth you are,

The more they'll come true.

But the thing is,

You don't even care because you just you just feel a lot of bliss.

That's it.

Okay,

That's good.

You're wanting the shades of this bliss coming in.

It's actually like the ship Trilochan made into his heart and his aura that is the very subtle sign of a shift that's going to come into the physical eventually.

But it's already there in the etheric.

It's a similar thing you guys are doing.

It's this opening to the idea that that this kind of lightness and bliss is there in you.

But even speaking it,

I feel like it's contracting a bit.

It's like so delicate.

I don't want to put any more words to it.

I'm just going to bless you and give all this to Amma.

For her help so that you can receive love inside you more.

And heal your bodies and heal your minds.

And it takes time,

You guys.

Yeah,

It takes time.

But keep siding with your soul because it's like God wins.

So,

It's like keep siding with the truth in you because it's the winner.

So,

No matter what,

Just keep siding with it because all of us know the truth,

Really.

We may go through periods of confusion,

But there's something in us that is a true north that steers us towards God because you are God.

There's something in you.

You have a true north inside you.

You know,

When I say true north,

It's compass,

Like a compass,

And think of it.

Compass is like part of compassion.

Do you understand?

So,

Actually,

Compassion is the compass.

Self-compassion and compassion for all of life.

It's right there in the English words.

That's why I love English so much.

Right.

Right.

And it's like,

I don't know.

I don't know.

And it's by encompassing all of you,

All of yourself,

Your humanity and your God self.

And encompass is your compass,

Too,

And embrace and encompassing of all that you are,

Good,

Bad,

Ugly,

All of it.

Just put your arms around the whole thing.

And then watch what happens to you,

You know.

Because the universe is always telling you things.

Like,

Really,

I feel like this woman,

There was a message,

A message from me to her,

But also a message from the incident to me.

Like,

We're always perfecting,

As long as we're on the earth plane.

Okay.

Last call for any comment at all.

I think you guys are tired.

Alex,

Did you have a question?

Are you just waving?

Do you have a question?

Oh,

No.

Just going.

Okay.

Okay.

Well,

Many,

Many blessings,

You guys.

Yeah.

May you feel more and more grace around you.

May you open to it.

May you feel it.

May your presence inside you become more and more evident to you.

Yeah.

It's something to be human,

Eh?

Thank you.

And,

Benjamin,

I can't remember your new name,

But blessings to you.

Yeah.

Okay.

Bye,

You guys.

Bye.