Q&A Satsang: How To Face Yourself And Grow

You know,

We're,

We're,

We create our own problems,

Right.

All human beings do.

Right.

You get the concept that we were the creators of these things.

And there's part of you that there's a you have a very high level of spirituality on one hand,

But when it comes to personal things,

You tend to fall right into ego.

You tend to lose all perspective,

The higher perspective.

And it just turns into fight or flight.

Yes.

And,

And then you have trouble even witnessing this going,

Okay,

I'm really stuck in my mind here.

Working with it in a higher way,

Like you get right down in the mud with it all like you just lose.

It's like you fall off the mountain for these periods,

You know,

Like you,

You go very unconscious.

Yes.

Right.

Right.

So,

You know,

Just kind of admitting that,

Like,

Seeing it,

This whole thing as part of,

You know,

Something that's where Amma is trying to shine a light for you to more deeply understand yourself.

And for you to more deeply move into your heart.

But,

You know,

You really you,

You lose all perspective.

Sweetie,

When it comes to personal things,

You get like,

You forget you're on the journey.

But at the same time,

You really value yourself for being kind of a non dual student.

Well,

I don't know if I value myself so much at all,

You know,

Because as you said,

I mean,

I cannot stay in consciousness.

And observing,

But I'm aware of my suffering.

So I'm not denying it at all.

No,

I'm that's why I'm speaking up also,

Because I create so much suffering for myself.

I have found you over the years,

Very unwilling to dislodge from this place where you are about it.

And I'm even feeling it now.

Yeah,

Actually,

I feel panicking and I don't know what to do to dislodge from it.

That's why I'm speaking up if I knew why.

I know you keep saying this,

You keep,

You keep refusing to address what I'm saying to you.

And you keep telling me basically that you just want to keep doing what you're doing.

And yeah,

It's kind of,

I mean,

This work is to help people up the mountain,

Atiba,

Sweet one.

So,

You know,

I'd say you have to bring self awareness to what you're doing.

And you have to be willing to bring self awareness and not just like,

You know,

Go like,

Okay,

Save me from this panic.

You mean how I create being aware of how I create my own suffering?

I'm sorry.

It's kind of subtler than that,

Sweetie.

It's kind of like getting interested in this whole situation.

It's like,

Yeah,

Like,

Atiba,

Sweetie,

Only you can solve it.

And only you can solve it by going higher on the mountain.

That's what will solve it.

That's what will solve,

You know,

Will bring your body out of this kind of PTS approach.

It's just I'm a little cautious with you because over the years you have said to me over and over again that you are not prepared to go conscious on this issue at this level.

So I'm kind of like,

Okay,

Atiba doesn't want to go conscious.

So,

I mean,

Maybe you'll be interested in going more conscious now.

I don't know.

Yes.

Really?

In a short term,

You could just go rent a hotel for a few days,

You know?

Yeah,

If she had let me know in advance,

I would have tried to find a solution.

But I didn't know all of a sudden it happened.

There it is.

I mean,

Just look at it,

Sweetie.

It's like you,

Sweetie,

It's just like clockwork with you on this.

It's like you're a victim.

This is being done to you.

Yeah.

And,

Sweetie,

I'd go like,

I'd make reservation at a hotel.

Really?

I mean,

It's Christmas.

I mean,

You know,

It's Christmastime.

You know,

It's family time.

It's like speak to them if you need to.

But remember,

It's Christmastime and people don't have much happiness.

So maybe,

I don't know.

It's just,

You know,

Who knows what's in there?

Like,

Even their happiness may be bothering you.

Like,

Get really interested into all the threads that are in this.

Because,

Sweetie pie,

You've presented questions like this countless times.

And you haven't,

You know,

I've kind of given up trying to,

You know,

I'm really spelling it out.

Because I'm,

I mean,

I think the answer is in Atiba and in Atiba self-knowledge.

You know,

And really giving it to Amma or,

You know,

The high school.

But,

Again,

I don't even want to start because my experience is you're not really interested.

In actually kind of decoding yourself personally.

Really,

Really understanding yourself in a loving,

Loving way.

Because if you did that,

It would show you how to deal with these situations.

You're not a victim,

Sweetie.

I mean,

The universe is giving you this for a reason.

And,

You know,

I mean,

There's not army people with machine guns banging down your door.

I mean,

There's no outer reason for fear.

So,

If there's fear running,

It's you're scared to be yourself.

You're scared to live in the truth of Atiba.

And I think your fear takes a form.

One of the forms is kind of a fear of vulnerability.

Yeah,

That's for sure.

That's true for sure.

Okay.

The way you clear fear of vulnerability or any fear is to,

Like,

Take a photograph of it.

Like,

You know,

It's happening.

Say the situation,

You take a photograph of it.

Just like you're a photographer,

You step back,

You take a photograph of it,

And you watch it.

And you feel the great sorrow at being so hostage to fear in this situation.

And about how this happens all the time and how this,

You know,

It has a pall over your life.

And feeling the deep sorrow of it.

And if you do that,

The fear will clear.

But it's a deeper level of intimacy with Atiba than you've been willing to go to.

You try to avoid it.

Yes,

Now I'm starting to understand what you're saying to me.

Yeah,

Good.

It's love,

Sweetie.

It's like I'm the same stuff.

I mean,

This is,

It's just very human what you're doing.

Yeah.

I think you should just do what you want,

You know.

And again,

I've said it to you before.

Whatever action you take,

Do the,

Look at the results.

And are the results,

Do you like the results?

Or do you dislike them?

If you dislike them,

Then you learn from the situation.

And if you like the results,

Then that,

You know,

Reaffirms that you're on the right track.

Yeah,

I mean,

Sweetie,

I've got a situation here.

I've got like,

There's so many noises in the ashram.

Like,

I'm like not sleeping well.

So,

You know what I recommend?

One of the things is brown noise on YouTube.

You can,

Brown noise,

Look it up.

Oh,

Uh-huh.

And play it.

And it will soothe your nervous system.

Oh,

Okay.

Okay?

Brown noise.

And there's several choices.

And choose the best.

But the main thing is to like really want to wake up about these situations,

You know?

I mean.

Please go ahead.

Yeah,

It's just a tea buzz.

Like,

You know.

You've got to love yourself.

Sweet one.

Or feel the pain and frustration of refusing to.

I think you should get hold of some books.

You know,

By Amma,

Where she's to inspire you.

Like stories of the experience of devotees and the miracles.

And drown yourself in those kind of books.

Yeah.

There's many hours reading about stuff like that.

Oh.

It's like you feel unable to bring in Amma's energy at this level for you.

And things aren't really going to get better until you learn how.

Until you become willing to learn how.

Sweetie pie.

You know,

You can set up a phone call with me if you wish.

I don't know what else to suggest.

But,

Sweetie pie,

Only you can solve this.

And it will get solved through enhanced faith in Amma.

And willingness to live it in every situation.

Ah,

Sweetie.

You know,

There was a U.

S.

Congresswoman.

And she said,

You know,

That any human being is going to be upset.

And that they're going to get triggered.

And they're going to have hard times.

And that there's no way any of us are going to get out of this.

This is part of life.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So,

You know,

Dig deeper about this situation.

What's going on with you?

You know,

Journal it.

Dig deeper,

Sweetie.

You've got to go deeper.

So you can understand yourself better.

Yeah,

It's true for sure that I'm really very afraid of the vulnerability.

Yeah,

I know.

But you can make that.

We can talk about that.

And it's an object.

And you'd be happy to talk about it.

And it's like,

I'm going,

Like,

Clear it.

Learn how to clear it.

That's what this training is.

Yes.

Right.

Yeah,

Sweetie.

You're going to have to let Ami in to become happier.

I mean it about finding books and reading that stuff.

I mean,

You know what I used to do in desperation sometimes,

You guys?

I would read chicken soup books,

Miracles,

Angels,

Anything to keep my mind up.

Like,

The extent to which I,

Like,

Did stuff like that to save myself.

Whatever it takes to crawl higher up the mountain,

Just do it.

And,

You know,

You can afford to find a hotel if you need to.

If you need some good night's sleep.

You know,

Go to a hotel,

Have some good night's sleep.

And then,

You know,

Think about dealing with them.

But I don't know,

It's Christmas.

You know,

You don't really want to be a Grinch,

Do you?

I don't know.

No,

I would want to talk to them in a good way.

Yeah.

Not in a grumpy way.

Yeah,

So,

You know,

Come on.

Bring in some more self-awareness.

Come on.

Grow.

Okay,

Sweet one.

I think we need to finish to give other people a chance to ask a question.

Okay?

Okay.

Thank you for coming forward.

And,

You know,

I'm sending you huge blessings and,

You know,

Great empathy for what it's like.

Thank you.

Okay.

Yeah,

Michael.

Hi,

Pratasuda.

Hi,

Everybody.

You know,

I feel,

And it's been a couple of times lately,

That I'm reaching kind of a hump,

An obstacle.

And it's,

I'm having trouble accepting challenges.

And it's maybe partly impatience.

I don't know exactly what it is.

I even find my ego saying sometimes,

Well,

I know best,

You know,

Which is fine.

So I try and observe that.

But it's happened now.

Well,

I feel it today.

And I think that acceptance and the lack of,

You know,

Being able to surrender is,

Well,

It's just preventing me from,

You know,

From moving forward.

So I was wondering,

You know,

What I could do.

So,

Like,

What are the challenges?

Well,

For example,

Health challenges.

Not major.

But,

You know,

As you get older,

You get certain things that you have to deal with.

You know,

That's kind of what kicks it off.

Well,

I think,

You know,

You're trying to like,

You know,

Maybe,

Maybe just,

You know,

Be with being a human being with like the drag about getting older and bloody,

You know,

Just,

You know,

You guys,

You get so like,

Try to do the spiritual journey.

And just be like,

Just be a human being.

I mean,

It's a drag getting these things.

So you can,

You know,

I mean,

You can talk to the create,

Talk to Amma about that.

Like,

It's a,

It's a drag.

But sweetie,

You know,

All of you guys,

You want to box the journey.

You want like,

Give me three steps to surrender.

Get me three steps to enlightenment.

It's just not going to happen.

It's messy.

Just like what a teapot is talking about.

It's messy.

Well,

You know,

And I kind of expect that.

And like I say,

I just feel these,

You know,

Lately,

These couple of humps,

Which actually I never felt before.

That's why it's it's kind of new.

And I tell myself,

Well,

You know,

I really just have to accept that I can't accept at the moment.

And it's not a big deal.

But it still bugs me a bit.

I think the problem is this kind of overseer you've got this expert guy who's or the overseer who's telling you,

You know,

You're going to have to accept this.

It's just.

That is the problem.

Because that that's what you listen to actually rather than your heart.

Yes,

I just found that that connection was weakening a bit.

And I didn't like it because it felt good.

The connection to my heart.

Right.

So always secure for when we lose connection.

It's just like when you,

You know,

When you have a lover and maybe you haven't been paying her enough attention.

She starts booking dates with other people.

You start working harder.

You step up.

You pray all the time.

You,

You know,

You turn up your efforts to connect up to truth,

Which,

You know,

In most ways you're doing even by asking the question and by coming to that sense,

It's good.

But it is turning up the effort,

The journaling,

All the things I've said like turning up and until you get the connection back.

But,

You know,

Some of this stuff is,

You know,

Michael,

This editor oversees that you've got tries to fix being a human being and tries to fix human life.

And he's the guy who actually needs to be dethroned.

It's a perfectionist.

Right.

And,

You know,

Perfectionism is always fear.

You see,

So this voice is actually a fear voice.

You guys really hear this.

This kind of voice in you that tells you kind of how to do the journey is fear masquerading as a helpful voice.

You know,

Just being a human being and being older and having these hassles and just being with it,

You know,

Being with all your feelings about it,

You know,

Is that's it,

You know,

And,

You know,

Some of this stuff is,

Again,

I'm getting this thing.

So you're trying to fix being a human being.

Yeah.

Really,

Like,

I have trouble staying late with Amma now.

I notice,

Like,

You know,

Late in the night in the big hall.

Like,

It used to be easier.

It's harder now.

I'm like,

I'm like,

What's the word?

What the hell?

You know,

It's kind of like,

You know,

This is what it's like sometimes.

Michael,

It's this voice,

You don't have to listen to it so much.

It's fear.

How does your body feel right now?

Just a little bit similar to when I feel that I really get into my heart.

But my upper body just feels softer,

I guess.

Right.

Good.

Just a little bit.

I mean,

It's more intense sometimes.

But.

So just this talk,

You feel a little bit softer in your body.

Yeah.

Top of your body.

Okay,

So that's movement through fear.

You've relaxed out of fear a little bit,

I'd say.

You're too tight with yourself,

Michael.

We all are.

But you see,

To get anywhere in the journey,

We have to work with it.

We have to learn to just chill a bit.

Yeah.

And,

You know,

Michael,

The journey,

As you proceed,

Sometimes it looks like we're getting worse.

But we're not.

We're actually clearing the stuff.

Like Alma talks about how when you sweep a floor,

It looks clean.

But when you start washing it,

Then you see the grub.

Yeah.

Right.

So this,

You know,

The challenges do come up as we proceed.

Yeah,

It's almost.

You go.

No,

You go.

It's almost like the fear is,

You know,

My autonomic response or automatic response is get things done.

Execute.

And yeah,

That's what I'm trying to leave aside.

Yeah,

But sweetie,

This is the problem.

Like you said,

You want to leave aside.

You will leave it aside as you sink more deeply into your heart as a byproduct.

You won't do it so much.

You see,

This is what I think you do.

I think you spend a lot of time in these kind of mental struggles.

And it takes you away from the heart.

And also,

I feel that it's part of why you got so kind of shocked when I said,

Like,

Be kind with people and you were like,

What?

You know,

You miss the heart of the journey with these mental struggles.

Right.

Right.

It's just.

Right.

Right.

It's just being kind to others.

It's kind word.

Right.

You see,

You guys,

You don't realize it,

But you get narcissistic with your focus on you trying to perfect your journey.

It turns you into narcissists,

Really circling around in your heads.

And you and you forget.

You forget about,

You know,

The mass of suffering humanity.

You forget to be kind to your workmate who may be really,

Really depressed.

And if you were fully present,

You might feel is is is depression.

And say a kind word.

Do you see what I mean?

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Right.

Just.

You know,

Yeah.

Stop trying to do your idea of the journey.

It's.

It's a product of this perfectionist head thing,

And it's not accurate.

Just just be Michael and.

Aging is is hard.

I mean,

Even I'm a cheerful person and even I go like,

What the hell?

Yeah.

So how do you feel right now?

I'm I'm I'm not wanting to,

You know,

What's the word?

Insult you.

That's not the right word.

You know,

Make you feel bad.

I don't want to make you feel bad.

Because what you're doing is just human on the journey.

No,

I,

You know,

I appreciate it.

Because.

I.

I felt I felt a few times.

How good it feels when I'm in my heart.

Yeah.

But I just can't make it a goal.

You can't make it a goal like.

To want to get there to chart the path.

To get there.

Okay,

So to see.

What can I do about that?

You see,

That's what's really bothering you.

Yeah.

And this,

You guys,

Sometimes you step over.

You know,

Something that you actually have to face.

I teach you can't really help you.

I mean,

You have to get interested in this.

What,

What,

You know,

Think about it.

What captivates you so much that you don't do that?

Or what are you so scared of?

You know,

That you.

But it's not your goal.

This is it,

You guys,

You see how corrupt it gets.

We try to be good spiritual students and we're listening to a fear based thing in our heart.

And it's,

It's takes us away from facing of like,

Why,

What are my withholds about coming into my heart?

And,

You know,

Even Michael,

It's okay to have with those,

Just be with them.

Just,

Just admit them.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I guess I just don't know what I'm so afraid of.

Yeah.

So,

But you can ask for,

Ask for,

For information about that.

Ask Amma to show you.

Yeah.

And in the meantime,

Again,

Read inspiring books.

You know,

Or,

You know,

On the videos.

I mean,

Yeah,

I know you watch my videos.

I was going to tell everybody,

You know,

Those clips that Jenna made.

There are so many how to hints in there.

You know,

Like four people listen to them.

It is so funny for me.

With this,

Because it's,

I've worked so hard to make it all simple and sweet.

And it's sort of like the great mass of humanity thinks it couldn't,

It must be more complicated than this.

But it's not,

It's just this really simple things.

Yeah.

This time,

I'll tell you what happens is,

You know,

We keep getting whacked by the universe.

And so,

As we get whacked by the universe,

We get more,

More devoted.

Okay,

That's how it works.

All your resistances,

You'll meet them in life.

Life will greet you with opportunities to clear these resistances.

It's just like with Atiba,

What she's got right now.

And then,

You know,

So.

You're okay.

I don't know.

It's like you feel like a failure or something.

Do you?

Like what?

Sorry?

Do you feel like a failure?

I'm asking you.

No.

Okay.

Okay.

No.

Yeah.

Okay.

I actually normally feel very good.

But this does come up,

And it just happened to come up again this morning.

You know,

Actually,

When we feel like failures,

Actually,

We're doing very good work.

Because when you feel like a failure,

You're just clearing where you failed to follow your heart.

So,

In order to deepen,

We often have to feel like a failure for a while.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Over and over again,

I'd feel like a failure.

And then I'd realize,

Oh,

I failed to follow my heart deeply.

And then I'd correct.

And then these feelings of failure would go.

You just need time,

Michael.

This time.

Yeah.

Blessings.

Thanks for.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Blessings.

Yeah.

The journey.

Yep.

So much empathy for the journey.

But if we don't do it,

There's no hope.

So,

It's like between the rock and the hard place,

You know.

Might as well do the journey.

This work will tend to ask you to face yourselves.

You know,

It is what this one does.

I do.

It's like face yourselves.

Come on,

Face yourselves.

Come on,

Come on.

Do it.

You know.

Lots of times,

Non-dual teachers will speak.

They'll be far more spacious.

Like,

I heard a guy I love,

And he was talking.

He was talking,

This person had asked a question.

And I could tell from the question that the person asking it wasn't that interested in an answer.

And what this teacher did was the teacher said,

Well,

Lots of times the ego will stop,

Will actually make a student ask questions and then not follow the answer.

So,

He did it in a very spacious way that gave the student the choice of whether to wake up or not.

And this one's more like direct.

Like,

You come to the set saying,

Wake up.

Yeah.

With love.

Right?

Yeah.

Because my experience is,

You could talk to 30 years and put things spaciously and,

You know,

Somebody might be like,

Refuse to get it in over 30 years.

But when the teacher directly confronts you and says,

You need to look inside.

You particularly as an individual need to journal,

Look inside,

Really ask the creator's questions.

It will make you either do it or not want to come to satsang.

Yeah.

We could all grow very fast at this time.

Yeah.

And the thing is that you grow fast by kind of leaning back out of your head into your heart and giving yourself more space to understand yourself,

To accept your humanity.

And this perfectionist,

I think all of you guys are running,

This,

You know,

This is where Anna and I would have fights.

And so it's less than her now.

But this perfectionist telling you how your journey should be and how life should be and how you are to be a good student and everything.

And it is coming from fear.

It is just.

Pretty useless.

So just get that,

Like,

Don't believe this voice,

Like,

Hear what it's saying,

But,

You know,

Make room for other information.

Other information coming from what other people say,

You know,

To passing encounters,

To what your body's doing,

Make it broader.

Don't follow this kind of.

Voice.

Too much.

Really,

It's.

It's actually coming from separation,

That voice.

And that voice will want to keep you in separation.

Yeah,

And it's actually scary to confront it.

I don't want you to fight it.

Don't fight it.

But understand that this voice that tells you how you should be and everything is,

Is coming from fear and separation.

The,

The love in you will come in through,

You'll feel a relaxation,

You'll feel an expansion,

You'll feel just a trust.

It will be kind of a physical experience.

Of more spaciousness.

A relaxation.

A heightened,

Sometimes heightened perception,

Heightened sensitivity in a good way.

Or just the feeling of knowing something.

Without a doubt,

You just know something.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Many of you are really quite scared of yourselves and you don't have a lot of trust of yourselves.

And it's very understandable.

But I'll tell you who you are inside yourself is so much better than anything you've been conditioned into.

Yeah.

And your true sort of most simple,

The thing closest to you,

You know,

The,

Your,

The thing,

Your you-ness is just so beautiful.

And often you guys are almost trying to fix it with this perfectionist voice in you,

You know?

You're so much more loving and forgiving when you realize.

See,

Many of you,

Like I find that you're like,

With this,

Being run by this fear-based perfectionist voice,

And then you try to,

It makes you outward too.

It makes you look outward.

You,

You don't go inward.

It,

It distracts you from looking outside.

You start focusing on more trying to do the journey right and everything.

And it's just.

You're very,

Very beautiful,

You guys.

It's your you-ness.

It's probably the things that you,

You know,

Got in trouble for as a kid,

Or you turned away from as a kid.

That's,

You know,

That you're scared of.

You're scared of your.

Intrinsic heart,

You know,

You're.

You're loving.

Your love,

You're scared of it.

And this voice that comes in and tells you how to be perfect in the journey.

It's like,

It distracts you away from.

It stops you from even looking inside to find that energy that you are.

I remember the day,

You know,

That actually I turned inside.

I just suddenly dropped down into my heart and I turned inside.

It was kind of an event where it's like.

I don't know,

It just came because I don't know,

I wasn't getting anywhere.

All of a sudden,

I was in my heart turning inside.

And,

And it,

It made the journey easier.

So,

What happens is we make these leaps.

You'll just suddenly be brought to something.

You'll just suddenly,

If you really want to unite with the creator,

With Amma.

You,

You feel how much you want this.

And,

And,

And then your psyche will start steering you that way.

You see.

And,

You know,

If we're unwilling or we're scared,

Like.

The teacher loves you,

You know,

That will help Amma loves you.

It's,

It's,

It's for you to be willing to learn how to decode this stuff.

And,

And we decode it by kind of having a peaceful enough head that things,

Insights bubble up.

It's like when I talk about the cow,

Abraham used to say,

Be vacant like the cow.

Like,

Just kind of have an empty head.

You know,

Try to,

You know,

Get enough exercise that it's easier for you to keep your head empty.

And have insights bubble up,

But don't worry if you can't do it yet.

You just stay on the journey and you,

You get brought to that.

You will be brought to it.

But Michael,

You know,

Part of what operates with you is.

Remember we talked about that there'd been,

You could see that the,

The,

The creator had been trying to get to you.

Your spirit had given you,

There'd been movement by your spirit,

But you didn't like the form it was coming into.

So you nixed it.

Do you remember talking to me about that?

It's,

You're still doing the same sort of thing with yourself.

You're kind of finding flaws and nixing stuff instead of just being with.

Yeah.

Right.

So see that it really slowed you down earlier.

So don't keep doing that.

You know,

Find the oomph to be a little more open with yourself,

Open.

You see,

I can't do the journey for you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's what I meant before,

When I said,

You know,

It's almost like my ego knows best.

It's judging.

It's being very judgmental.

Well,

You know,

That works.

And,

And,

Well,

You know,

That,

That,

I don't know if that works.

Yeah.

But you see the trouble is,

You see,

You guys,

You can tell me this stuff till the cows come home.

But if you can't find the oomph in you to really want to grow,

I can't do that for you.

So you often people will tell me all the things that they do and that they,

Oh,

This is what happens.

This is what my ego does.

And it's like,

So,

So what?

So what?

It's not even worth giving it verbal energy.

It's for you to observe yourselves and then refuse to allow it to happen anymore.

Right.

Finding the will.

Finding the will to,

You know,

I used to sometimes just go,

You know,

Shut the hell up to my head.

I just go.

Shut up.

You know.

You know,

The thing is,

Your psyche will create what you want.

So if you're kind of half-hearted about the journey,

You're going to get a kind of confusing experience.

And the irritation and frustration at getting a confusing experience could then propel you through the ambivalence to a greater commitment.

And then different things would happen.

But remember,

Gabriel came and I saw this huge angel,

Like 14 feet high,

Saying,

Tell them the answers are inside.

Right.

I think maybe before we start the sessions,

I'll have you all say,

The answers are inside me.

To remind you.

Yeah.

Blessings.

You know,

It's a new spirituality.

It's a new level of spiritual development of the human race.

And this is more emotional.

You know,

It's more emotional and it's more human than it's been.

Just like Ama is like that as a teacher.

Same with our spiritual journeys.

It's interesting.

There are two things that's going to happen.

It's like the penny is going to drop.

And it's like the poop is going to hit the fan.

It's like,

You guys,

It's almost like,

It's kind of like a mix.

It's like you're wanting the penny to drop and you're scared the poop is going to hit the fan if you got really interested in the deeper journey.

Yeah.

You know,

Ama is our life.

This is what it's like.

This is a great,

You know,

With Pramasutra making such a mess,

I just devoted my life.

It was sort of like,

Okay,

I'm serving love.

Since I cannot do the career thing or marry somebody.

So,

You know,

It made it easier in a way.

But you could pray for greater willingness to serve love.

Okay,

If you have trouble looking inside,

You can pray for greater willingness to serve love,

To experience unconditional love.

And to share it and to be it.

Yeah,

You can pray for greater willingness.

Yeah.

And then,

You know,

If you're willing,

Even if life gives you some curveballs,

They're not so bad because you're tapping into love.

So you can face these challenges.

You guys are very beautiful the way you are.

And this is what the journey is like.

Okay.

It's not like you're doing anything wrong.

It's just like this.

It's like,

I remember when the boys and,

You know,

When they were teenagers or something,

And I'd say,

Oh,

It's going to get better when you're grown up.

And then I'm thinking to myself,

Well,

I can't really say that it's better to be grown up.

But sort of like,

Well,

It's kind of difficult all along,

Quite frankly.

Yeah.

But I'll tell you,

The more you serve love,

The happier your soul is.

And when your soul's happy,

You're happy.

Yeah.

That's why all the sages become happy.

What makes us unhappy is when,

You know,

There you go.

Yeah.

There's a lot of grace coming to you guys.

I'm feeling a lot of grace.

And I'm feeling like,

You know,

Again,

I can't speak for Amaterasu,

But it just feels like she's like throwing a whole bunch of grace from where she is in the hall to you guys.

It just feels this way.

It feels like part of her brain,

You know,

Her huge mind,

She's got such room for things.

Maybe she knows we're talking and sending grace.

I feel this.

I feel this.

So,

I mean,

I just can say what I feel.

And,

You know,

The joke is it's often very accurate.

So,

You know,

That's our hope.

That's the good news.

Really,

A lot of grace coming from her.

I feel this.

Thank you,

Ama.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And there's also a message coming through is you're all stronger than you think.

Please.

It's interesting because Ama's been talking about how we're not like little weak kittens.

We're lion cubs.

Yeah.

Like you guys,

Ama's energy is invincible.

It's like when you tap into that energy of the heart,

It's just,

It's invincible.

It'll give you the strength to face anything.

I was reading about this 21-year-old in,

You know,

In Germany.

It was in a school.

It was in a university and she stood up to the Nazis.

And she said,

You know,

What's wrong with this world is people won't just stand up and lay down their lives.

How could we have a righteous world if people aren't willing to do that?

Of course,

You know,

She died,

But she,

I don't know.

It's kind of like that.

It's kind of like,

Hey,

You guys,

The world's burning.

We've got to move into love.

Yeah.

Yeah,

And you're courageous lions,

You know.

We're not little scared kitty cats.

Right.

Okay.

Let's hit a chord in you guys.

And I feel like this blast of grace from Ama has helped you get it.

Yeah.

You know,

Christ said of myself,

I can do nothing.

So.

We can't,

We can do very little without the creator's energy.

We have to like pray.

And talk to the creator.

Because our,

You know,

When we try to wheel and deal from the ego,

It's where egos are just so weak and corrupt.

You know,

They,

You know,

Even if we get our dreams come true with the ego,

There'll be a worm in the apple.

You know,

Whereas if you're in truth and you get your dreams coming true,

You just ecstatic.

It's all good.

But,

You know,

It's like,

You know,

It's like,

I'll come back to my mom.

Like my mom married my dad and they were,

They were,

They had some money.

And,

You know,

She blamed her own life.

You know.

It's a worm in the apple.

It didn't bring her happiness.

If we're not true to ourselves,

We're not happy.

And,

You know,

If you're half-hearted,

It's like,

Oh,

Well,

Like just,

Just accept it.

It's like,

Okay,

I'm,

I'm,

I'm just,

I'm not super sincere.

It's not bad.

Just,

Actually,

Just admitting it means that you will make a shift into truth.

Just admitting this stuff.

Admitting your flaws like that,

Or what's considered a flaw.

Admitting the truth brings you into your soul energy.

That's actually what does it,

You guys.

It's not by jumping,

You know,

Like jumping for the brass ring,

Trying to be perfect.

I know.

I feel like you guys got this grace.

And even if you're not aware of it,

I feel like it got to all of you.

So,

More questions.

Anybody got any other questions?

Yes.

This is Ruth.

Hi.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm just looking for you.

Yeah.

Oh,

I'm not on video.

Oh,

Yeah,

I found you.

Okay.

Yeah.

Sure.

How are you?

Oh,

I'm good.

I'm doing really well.

And I,

And I,

I was feeling that,

That feeling.

Before you mentioned it,

The,

About the grace and I,

I just have a question or,

Or is it a request?

I'm working with a teenager who's suicidal and I'm just,

Yeah.

And I've been,

I decided to just constantly keep praying for this kid.

And I'm just,

You know,

If you have any,

I don't know,

Tips about that,

Or if other people can help with the prayers for this kid.

They're in a very dark,

Dark place.

Can you,

Can you write his name down or her name?

Can I say,

Should I.

What do you mean write it in the,

In the chat?

Yeah,

If you write in the chat,

Then everybody can.

Okay.

If you write in the chat,

Then I'll put it on my phone.

I feel like it's going to work.

I really feel like this is going to work.

Okay.

To everyone.

I'm just putting the name.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That prayer is the most invincible force on the planet because it's,

It's love.

I'm just saying,

Please,

Please help.

Please.

I'm not really anything specific with the prayers.

15.

Yeah.

Very.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Let me just feel into this.

Yeah.

Okay.

It's just something clearing right now.

Around him.

I've got a lot of birds going.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Funny.

Yeah,

I can feel like he yeah he,

He needs to come home to his heart,

You know.

Yeah.

Sometimes,

Older souls and people with shamanic gifts have big turbulence in their teenage years,

Particular turbulence.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay,

Well,

He's going on my prayer list.

And all of you guys.

I know that.

Yeah.

We'll put our heart and soul into this,

And this is how we warm up the world and help keep ourselves and other people safe.

And it's a tough time for young people and for young men.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Thank you.

Yeah.

And cool you felt the grace.

You see that's data,

If you felt the grace,

That's data.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Give yourself a pat on the back and if you didn't feel it's okay.

Feel it next time.

Just being on the journey at all is as perfect as we human beings get.

And please avoid self hatred if it comes up,

See it for what it is.

Okay,

Don't,

Don't indulge.

Try not to indulge in it.

It's,

It's wrong.

It's,

You're,

You're God,

And you're a lion cub,

You know,

Don't,

Don't let yourself down.

Don't let yourself get doused with that shit.

Yeah.

You're worth more than that.

Right.

You know something you could work with is you could work with asking me more innocent questions.

So usually when you guys ask a question often I have to work with you guys to push you back on yourselves to get closer to the truth of what's really bothering you.

So,

Have the goal to ask is the questions from the truth of you from the deeper truth of you more.

You know,

Ask the heart of the question about what's bothering you go to the heart with the question.

Usually I have to work past this perfection voice and you guys like to get more closer to the heart of what's bothering you.

Right.

Right.

Yeah.

In fact,

You'll find that the more you try to be a good student with this one the more you'll fail.

The more I'll be going,

Stop,

Don't do this.

Just be yourselves.

I know I must send that grace.

I know she did.

I know she's aware of us sending the grace.

Yeah,

Interesting I'm feeling was the interesting is 1111.

At the same time,

I'm feeling how you guys.

When you go to find the roots of your being your little you get a bit discombobulated like you,

You can't find them.

You can't find the roots of your being when I,

I say go to the roots of your being it's.

I can see that it's closed off and a lot of you guys you don't know how to kind of penetrate the resistance to get to the root,

Get to the roots of the being and you see you'll penetrate the resistance as you get more primal.

As you're willing to feel more dense emotions,

Feel more of the emotional material.

And as you clear fear Maxie How are you doing,

By the way.

Speaking of dense emotions.

Hey,

Oh,

I'm,

I'm having a lot of anger.

And,

Yeah,

Anger in my stomach so yeah feeling there's a lot being angry a lot.

Yeah.

And it's emotionally it's very.

It's like going up and down I sometimes think I'm like psychotic because there's one moment I feel so happy I feel the love and the bliss.

And then it goes down to really deep depression.

I don't know what to say yeah depressive like like so much sadness and heaviness it's.

Yeah.

Yeah,

I think you know it is their peers like this and you know in transition for a woman when she's got the contractions.

Yeah,

No book attractions and it comes quick you know boom boom boom.

It can be like this in the journey just before a really big surrender.

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

So I kind of want to hold your hand energetically.

See,

This is where my hat off to,

You know,

Single moms.

When we're clearing and we got all this stuff coming up and we have to be mothers.

You know,

Earn a living I mean it's kind of impossible but Alma does it for us.

But yeah,

Just be with and I'll tell you,

Please don't get in there and judge.

Just,

Just notice what you're going through and feel it.

You know,

Journal it.

Don't judge it like I'm,

I hold you very high for,

For being willing to go through this.

Okay.

So if that can alleviate some of the self judgment that comes up with,

Please.

Yeah,

It does come up.

Yeah,

Thank you.

I know.

So much.

I know.

I know.

My daughter just,

It's so weird.

I had to go downstairs during the satsang because the kids were so loud so they were fighting.

I'm like,

What is it fighting in me?

And so I saw my daughter acting like me,

Like bossing around,

Around the dinner table.

I was like,

Okay,

Please look up my good habits.

And she's,

And she said it.

I'm like,

Mom,

I don't know.

What are your good habits?

And I'm like,

Yeah,

Right.

I don't know it either.

And there it was.

It just,

Oh yeah.

The judgment and everything.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Thanks.

Oh,

That's pretty.

That's pretty.

Like,

Like,

10 minutes ago.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you think this is,

This is,

I mean this is what happens our kids get a little older and then they start giving us what we keep.

I know.

Yeah.

You could say.

Your mother tries.

Yes.

I'm keeping you.

Even,

Even that when you,

When you went downstairs and you said okay what is it me.

You are doing the perfectionist thing you're going up into your head and trying to trying to find a way to deal with it.

From your head there.

Okay.

You would you boxed it,

It's like you box it and that's part of why you got that response from your daughter.

Just like,

You know,

That kind of thing doesn't really help when we go.

Oh,

What is it me.

Because the way your ego is Maxie what you will do your ego will do with that will just your ego will just invite you to get squished over and over again,

If you do that just like what happened.

Okay,

Just be more real.

More real like you guys,

Please be quiet because I'm in the set saying,

And I can hear you.

What I'm talking about,

Can we just,

Can we just get simpler and real and not try to box the journey and have this expert figuring it out all the time.

Because it removes you from it removes you from them when you do that.

What's in it and then did you,

What did you say to your daughter,

What did you say to your daughter about.

What was your.

What did you say like,

Oh,

You're acting just like I do or.

Yeah,

I just,

What did I say something like,

I'm working on it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah,

This expert you will with this like the self deprecation sweetie.

Yeah,

Okay,

Okay,

I feel like you,

I feel like this is beginning to hit home a bit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay,

Good.

Yeah.

Yeah,

You deserve to be celebrated sweet one.

I mean it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's true.

You know I don't flatter.

So that's,

You know,

Yeah,

Good.

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

You'll be amazed at how much change occurs just keeping going with this,

Just keep going with it,

And and you're almost grace and your psyche.

The fact that you're made out of love,

And,

And you're sincere Maxie.

You know,

It will start weaving in and it already has.

When you think about where we started from.

You and I.

Yeah.

Oh,

Yeah,

Definitely.

Yeah.

Oh you guys are so beautiful.

You really,

You just all of you and even if I if I poked the bear a bit with you guys look it's all good.

So good.

You all have very good hearts.

Okay,

Everybody has a very very good heart.

Yeah.

And you deserve to know what love is.

You deserve it this life.

To know what love is to really know what it is.

Right.

Right,

And it's arduous but it's,

It's always doable.

You know,

If you can get hold of a book,

Like,

You know,

You know from the know the devotees of Alma,

And that their stories about how she changed their lives you know anything to remind you of how loving it is.

Or really that you can suit books like really that's what I would do.

Keep my mind up,

And all these people would have experiences with angels and I go yeah okay good,

Maybe I will to like even that you know I felt like I'm such a hayseed reading these books but I just kind of did this stuff to strengthen my heart,

Because it's so easy to get discouraged and our,

Our world is so allergic to love.

Really,

Really,

We're allergic to love.

This is the problem.

And it's not our fault it's our whole culture.

And this is what's changing as a result of,

You know,

Small groups,

Change the world.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And also you guys.

When,

Whenever direction the women go in the men follow.

Truly you look at you look at the world.

When women move.

The men follow.

And you know the sad thing is that women.

We,

Because of the patriarchy and everything and all the bound hips we are bound.

Feed we go,

Oh,

Well,

Okay,

The most important thing.

If you want to be safe in life okay we'll take care of your appearance right.

So,

Even the men are getting like that now.

They're all doing face things and hear things and they're following the women.

Really,

If we become more authentic,

More real,

More true,

The men will follow they always do.

Yeah.

Just remember that.

Okay you guys so it's 1130 here nearly 1130 I think it's probably time unless somebody's got this anybody desperate to say something.

Yeah.

Well you're very very beautiful.

You guys.

Bye.