We Are Miraculous Beings

Okay,

Well bless your hearts.

Thank you for coming and may we all feel the grace of Amma.

You know because I'm here and as I said the air is thick with love.

It's just unbelievable.

There's a lot to this satsang and again it's there's several threads.

The main reason for this awareness satsang and for all of them is to strengthen your connection to your soul,

Okay,

Energetically so that just by being here listening your soul is strengthened and your true nature can feel closer to you.

You could get closer to your true nature even when you leave.

So you know this is the deep intent behind these.

You know listening but also just bathing in the energy and week after week after week and then you know a lot of what happens depends on what you do with yourself in the time away from the satsangs.

You know how much energy you have to think about the creator,

About Amma.

You know if you've got the ability to just observe your thoughts and and do not go down a rabbit hole of negative thoughts.

Yeah.

Not being pushy with yourself but just realizing that the negative thoughts just create negativity and they hurt you and they hurt others.

So I'm getting the sense that there's some really deep fine-tuning that's wanting to happen and again I have this sense of this different threads and I'm sort of bumble into it.

You know how it works.

We all bumble into this together.

We all bumble into this together.

You know your child self when you were three and four,

You would have had enormous trust in yourself and enormous trust in life.

I want you to remember that.

Remember that.

If you can think about your early childhood a little bit.

You know sometimes with you know when we think about our past it gets colored in unhappiness because our mammalian brains remember the trauma.

But there's a level that if you sort of do enough work you can remember the good times.

If you can just remember your child self sort of in a good time and get the feeling of that energy.

That's you.

That is the closest thing to your soul energy.

And you know Christ said,

Except as ye become as little children you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven.

We finally have to drop any control and we just come to just taking what comes.

Just like a child you just take what comes.

You know everything is coming to help you.

That there's no malice coming from the Creator at all.

Everything is coming to help you.

Even the hard things.

It's funny.

You know when I was growing up,

I didn't know how to imagine that the hard things are coming to help you.

So this is where it's coming to another theme to this talk.

Sometimes we just have to use our will to keep reminding ourselves.

See your ego will never ever ever be persuaded that things are happening to you to help you.

Your ego will never believe that.

But your soul knows it's true.

So it's your willingness to keep reminding yourself.

About that.

As you're going through any difficulty to remind yourself that it is the most loving thing that could possibly happen to you.

Yeah.

I'll tell you this work will be not palatable to the ego at all.

Because you know if the ego likes it then we're just staying asleep and we're in the ego.

You know it's like waking up.

The ego doesn't like it.

Yeah that's kind of the territory.

There's kind of always going to be some discomfort here.

But the more you proceed,

The more you get proof of what I'm talking about.

And the more eager you get and entranced by the process and thrilled that you can find your freedom.

Yeah.

It's kind of a stuck energy in some of you.

Yeah.

That's it.

Okay that's good.

It's shifting a little.

You know we get stuck when our ego wants things our way.

You know.

Or we're demanding something other than what is happening when we want something other than what is happening to happen.

Or we're judging something as bad.

These are all things that get us stuck.

You have great capacity.

And in the course of this satsang I'm going to be describing some things that I hope will reaffirm and strengthen your sense of your capacity.

Because we're miraculous beings.

It's like,

You know,

Hold on to that.

Because that's where this whole work comes from is,

You know,

My son with the miracle healing.

That's where this work comes from.

It's based in the miraculous.

And it's based in the miraculous.

It's based in the miraculous.

And all the miracle means is that,

You know,

We received grace.

We received grace and we allowed grace in.

And when we do that we get lifted up.

And when we do that we get lifted up.

Yeah.

Before the satsang began I had the feeling of a log jam.

So I think that's part of what I'm feeling with the stuckness.

But there's this light that's come in.

You guys really want to grow.

I can feel you're uncomfortable with sort of the level you're living at.

And you want to climb higher up the mountain.

And that makes the best possible climate for growth.

When we we want to go higher.

So it's just,

You know,

Amma's been saying that most people in India,

They're at the level of temple worship,

You know,

Which is going to church and praying and you know,

Maybe doing some practices,

But not really tapping into the truth behind things,

Not tapping into the wonder of the of the spiritual journey,

Just staying kind of really caught in the concrete,

Like a concrete building,

A concrete idol.

And at the expense of the magic,

Where the magic gets lost,

The magic of transformation,

The magic of this deeper understanding when it comes,

The magic of experience,

You know,

A transformation and a rebirth internally.

Okay,

So she says 99% are at that level.

Okay,

So I want to talk about the people who come around me,

Who,

You know,

Anybody who comes,

There's a certain number of people who come to me and anybody who comes,

There's a certain amount of courage that's required with this kind of work,

Because it's,

It's very focused on transformation,

And it's not just soothing words.

And anybody who has spent any time with me knows that I am an absolute truth teller.

And the great thing about this is,

It helps you believe when I'm talking about the miraculous level,

Because you know,

That this one is just a truth teller.

Yeah,

I don't fudge at all.

Okay.

So,

There's some of you around me,

Who,

You think the ego is you,

Like,

You might theoretically think maybe you're a soul in there,

But your experiences in your life,

You go forward,

And basically what your ego tells you,

You think is true.

And you think you are this mind-body complex,

The offspring of two parents,

Who lived at some address in your family home.

Okay.

Okay.

So,

There are a couple of you,

Who are really resisting premisuda,

And you get mad at me,

Or insulted when I'm trying to help you.

Okay.

And it's kind of dawned on me that,

You know,

Alma said,

It's easy to wake,

Awaken someone who's asleep,

But it's impossible to awaken somebody who is pretending to sleep.

Okay.

So,

There are a couple of you,

I really want you to think about that,

And ask yourself if you are pretending to sleep,

Because I can't get through to you.

Yeah.

And after going through some inner concern about not being able to get through to you,

It's like,

I've realized that it's the the wanting to stay asleep.

And you know,

I mean,

This is,

You know,

Bless your hearts,

Like,

You know,

There's no,

We're all,

You know,

Alma says it's already happened.

So,

We're just finding out what has already been chosen.

So,

It's not like,

In a way,

It's not any criticism.

It's not something,

I mean,

If it is this way,

Then it's meant to be this way.

Okay.

But maybe it's meant to change as a result of this being spelled out at this satsang.

Okay.

Because anybody who really wants to wake up,

They wake up.

Yeah.

Now,

There's some of you who are just realizing that your ego isn't you,

But you don't know how to witness yet.

You don't know how to witness it.

You don't really know how to get out of it.

You know,

It's not you,

But you sort of don't know what to do about it.

And this is,

It's a tough phase.

It's tough.

And you just kind of have to be patient.

Just be patient.

What people often do at this stage is they'll start,

Their ego will come in and pretend to be a witness,

But their ego will be,

Like,

Saying things are bad and good,

Rather than the soul,

Which is a neutral witness.

It's like,

If you're clearing your ego,

So for an example,

A seeker might,

They might get very impatient in a line.

So they would just notice that they're getting impatient.

They notice what their body's feeling like,

How tense it is.

They'll notice their skin.

They'll notice their hair.

They'll notice their skin.

They'll notice what their body's feeling like,

How tense it is.

They'll notice their thoughts.

But they're not judging themselves.

Whereas,

You know,

With the ego will come in and say,

You shouldn't be so impatient.

Oh,

I'm too impatient.

I'm criticizing these people for the ego.

Okay.

Real witnessing is just neutral.

It's just acknowledging.

Okay.

So you'll know it when you learn how to do it,

Because you'll become much happier.

Now,

There's some of you that are more skilled.

You really know the ego isn't you.

And you see how it distorts your experience.

And you can witness yourself in this neutral way.

And you go through ego death.

So you might go through a period where you get the feeling that you're dying emotionally.

But you know,

You still have to go to your work,

Your job.

So you turn up at your work and everything you go,

You know,

You do it,

You smile at your coworkers and everything.

But inside,

You feel like you're dying.

But you've been through it before.

And you don't panic and you just go through it,

Because you will feel like you're dying.

And what will happen is you'll start feeling glimmerings of signs of spring,

You'll start feeling the glimmerings of a new understanding.

Yeah.

Now,

Remember,

I want to come back to your child self,

Like,

You know,

Your child self's there in your heart.

He or she's there.

And he or she's got the blueprint for the life you came here to live.

And as you get closer to your child self,

Stop fighting her or him.

Stop criticizing her or him.

You know,

Having a broader mind.

I mean,

You know,

So,

You know,

If you,

You know,

Alma says our minds are too narrow.

And when our minds are too narrow,

What that does is it makes us judge our inner child self,

Who is our gateway to truth.

So we're always telling ourselves,

Well,

I should work harder,

I should have a cleaner house,

Or I should whatever.

And it's like,

Just make more room for yourselves,

Okay,

For your true selves,

Please make more room.

This is what really,

It really breaks my heart,

You know,

Because we all want spiritual development,

We all want to,

You know,

Climb the mountain,

And it's by turning and loving who you really are.

You know,

There's so many people around me,

They just want to fix themselves.

And it's,

You're not a faulty machine,

You're God in human form.

You're not to be fixed,

You're to be loved.

Now,

The reason I'm bringing all this up is because I got some emails after the last satsang about,

You know,

The pain baby,

The dark baby of our pain that we get so used to,

And we hug it close to us.

And I realized that several people were,

It was almost like coming in as an extra burden,

Something more to figure out.

You know,

Don't do that,

You won't be able to figure it out with your head.

You know,

All of the things I'm talking about will become clear,

All of the things I'm talking about will become clear,

They'll become obvious,

They'll become like two plus two equals four as you come into your heart.

Okay,

It'll just become transparent as clean glass,

What I'm talking about.

Yeah,

So it's just be patient with yourselves.

Okay.

But the last thing I want is to add to a level of intellectual pressure for you,

Do you know?

Everything I say,

The point of it is I'm wanting to assist in the freedom,

In your freedom,

So I'm feeling really sad right now.

You know,

You could maybe just imagine making room in your hearts for yourselves,

You know,

For your child self,

And for whatever you think are your flaws,

You know,

You can make room in your heart.

Give space in your heart.

Yeah.

Nobody else can do it,

You see,

But you.

Yeah,

Please,

But if you could just do it,

Yeah,

Please,

But if you could just please make room for yourselves a little more so you're not but yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah,

At yourselves.

You know,

All the difficulties you're going through are not only are they tailor made for you are they tailor made for you to be the thing that accelerates your growth the most,

That creates the circumstances for you to grow the most,

But it's also the mud of the lotus in which the lotus of your awareness will grow.

So some of you have read this spiritual psychology book that I wrote.

Now,

It's very highly organized,

It's very clear,

And I'll tell you that book came out of two decades of me wandering around in just darkness,

Despair,

Wondering what happened to my life.

Two decades,

Right?

And then one day I just sit down and I write that book and as I'm writing and I write that book and as I'm writing the book,

I see that my experience of two decades of confusion is turning into this very clear tool to help others.

So you see,

It was so worth it.

It was so worth walking around in that confusion,

But did I think that I was going to write a book like that when I was in the confusion?

No,

I just thought I was kind of a lost cause,

Kind of a bad mother,

But I was really interested in God.

I was really interested in God all through that.

Yeah,

You see,

You guys,

It's all by the seat of our pants.

It's all,

You know,

It feels really,

Really weedy.

And one of the main difficulties for people is what happens when the soul's on the move,

You know,

If we pray and ask for,

You know,

To come into truth,

What will happen is fear will come up from the cells of our body and it will be on its way to be cleared so we could move into truth.

But lots of times we get sort of stuck in the fear.

We forget that it's coming up to be cleared.

And really,

All we have to do is just watch it.

Watch it and have compassion for ourselves and just keep going.

There's a feeling of,

I can't do this.

I can't do it.

I can't do it.

Coming from from many of you.

I knew it was kind of going to be a little bit of an uncomfortable satsang today,

But it will be,

You know,

It will be a little bit of a,

You know,

But it will be,

You know,

It will be for a good reason.

You know,

When you say,

I can't do it,

You know,

Your eye cannot do it.

It's your soul that does it.

Your soul throws you.

It's like,

We just have to like,

Stop bossing ourselves around and listen.

To our heart and follow.

You know,

How about that?

How about just go off duty.

If you think you have to figure everything out,

Just go off duty.

You can't figure it out.

What you can do is listen.

Learn how to listen to your heart.

It's the art of listening and then following.

Because the little child within you will tell you exactly what you need to do,

What your next step is.

Your little child within will tell you how to transcend your,

Whatever difficulty you're in.

Okay,

You're getting that.

You're getting it.

And sometimes the solution is just not to do anything.

Sometimes the solution is to go travel.

You know,

Just do something that's not directly problem solving.

Sometimes the solution is something like learn to cook.

You know,

Something,

Just a new skill,

New people.

Like,

Listen,

Because you will get,

I'll tell you,

In you,

You will be getting your next step.

You just need to listen.

And it's interesting that I got this,

You just need to listen.

And then I got this other sentence coming through saying,

And let go of your pride.

Okay,

Don't hold on to pride.

Pride is lonely and boring and yeah.

Yeah,

Give up all pride.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know,

You are part of Mother Nature.

You are an immortal being.

And look what you do to yourself,

You know.

Please,

Just look at what you do to yourself.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

I'm feeling like some of you want to step into this,

Into this bigger understanding,

This more organic understanding.

That's it.

Yeah,

Make room for it.

Mm-hmm.

That's it.

That's it.

It's good.

Good.

I'm seeing some light come in.

Good.

Yeah.

You know,

Keep asking for grace.

There's,

You know,

There is as much grace for you,

As you can receive.

The truth of the matter is,

Our whole lives are done by our souls.

Our souls are totally in control.

So when you ask for grace,

You are actually going to the source,

Of the power that is affecting your life.

To understand you're going right to the thing that is controlling it all.

And you're open and asking for help,

For grace,

And you will get it.

I promise you,

You will get it.

And it's way better than trying to figure things out or fight ourselves,

Which is what most of us do.

We fight ourselves,

Or we're trying to figure things out.

I'll tell you,

If you,

Actually,

I feel this.

I'm feeling this whole group is getting the grace.

You're getting it.

This is,

You know,

The feminine face of God energy.

So it's basically,

You know,

Grace.

There are very few rules.

It's just grace.

You know,

It's like,

Come back to your child self.

Come back to the wisdom that your child had.

Come back to the simplicity and the truth of your child self,

And go through life and ask for grace.

And don't talk,

Don't share your secrets with people who don't think this way.

And don't even talk to them,

Because they'll douse you,

You know,

Because when you're coming into this kind of energy,

It rattles people's defenses,

You know,

And if they're unconscious,

They'll douse you.

It's just like that,

You know,

When I talked in the store where somebody spilled some things,

And I was bringing them together with my foot,

And this woman walked by and said,

That's not your job.

You don't have to do that.

And really,

She was just dousing the love.

But it didn't bother me.

I just kind of sent her grace,

Because she doesn't know better.

But don't let anybody discourage you or say that you're doing it wrong,

Because I'll tell you,

Except as you become as little children,

You cannot enter the kingdom of heaven.

And innocence is the most powerful energy in the world,

Because it's soul.

Yeah,

And innocence,

It's innocence that moves Amma.

Now,

If you,

You know,

Her most innocent children will just attract her attention just through their innocence.

So,

You see,

You guys,

You're part of Mother Nature.

So,

You,

You're psychologically,

You're like a seed that will sprout,

Hopefully sprout,

Already sprouted,

And you're on your way to blossoming and bearing fruit for your life.

Okay,

That is what you're doing psychologically.

Okay,

But we're trained to go into boxes,

Go into programs,

Like how many programs have we been enrolled in,

Beginning with maybe daycare.

So,

We didn't have a lot of experience,

Maybe with So,

We didn't have a lot of experience,

Maybe with hours and hours in our mom's arms,

Bonding with love,

And maybe we got put in a daycare,

And it was like a program,

And,

You know,

We're with a whole bunch of kids with all kinds of energies,

And we get told what to do,

And we do it.

This is what happens with a spiritual journey.

You see,

Really,

All I'm wanting is to just fertilize the soil in which you're growing.

I just want to fertilize you and strengthen you,

You know,

So you can more easily manifest your true nature,

More easily live the life you came here to live,

That you can grow and blossom more easily.

But what happens is our conditioning says,

Okay,

How do I fix myself to be spiritual?

And then we've got,

You know,

The mind-body split,

And Christ is in the sky,

Or God's in the sky,

And it's a judging old man.

And even if we don't consciously think that way,

We're still running it.

You know,

You guys are miracles.

You know,

Every single life that you have ever lived,

Every skill that you have ever developed,

It is all in you,

Accessible.

You could actually access this.

Each person you've been is carried in the cells of your body.

Do you see?

You've been maybe a thousand people with a thousand skills,

And any of those skills can be brought up again as you consciously remember,

Or you don't even have to consciously remember.

But it helps.

It makes it easier.

That's the wonder of you.

It's just like,

And even beyond all these personalities that are in your bodies,

And all the people you've been,

And all the skills you've had,

You're a divine being.

You're an immortal being.

Aha,

Good.

That's it.

Some of the prodigies,

You know,

Have been like dancers.

Say if somebody's a dance prodigy,

They've been dancers for,

They may have had like 15 lives as a dancer,

Or may have had like 20 lives as a musician.

And so,

You know,

It's right there.

So they start playing the piano at four.

Like we're wonders,

And it's all carried in our bodies.

So when you become more present in your body,

You can access more of this material.

Do you understand?

Yeah.

Yes,

It's very exciting.

Some of you are getting excited.

Good.

It's very exciting.

You know,

It's in you.

All this is in you.

And as you become more present,

It's more accessible.

Okay,

Good.

Good.

You see,

Oh,

There's so much I want to say to you today.

I don't know if I'm going to be able to.

But I'm going to tell you a couple of kind of miraculous things to inspire you.

One is,

I was working with somebody,

And they had been a spy their last life,

Very recent.

And I had got this very strongly years before working with this person.

And it was like a Soviet spy.

And I think this person had a very quick turnaround,

A recent death,

Really,

And a quick turnaround,

Because it was like sort of 1940s kind of feeling.

She made a breakthrough today.

And I immediately got a picture of this Soviet spy.

And he realized that he didn't want to be a spy anymore.

He realized that he did not want to continue the way he was living his life.

And I thought to myself,

Maybe this is how it happens.

Maybe when we wake up in a big way,

It alters all our lives that are seen like past lives,

But,

You know,

There's a suggestion that they're going on all at the same time.

And maybe the threads in those lives get woven in a different way,

Depending on the changes we make.

Because I'll tell you,

This was so vivid about this Soviet spy guy changing his ways.

And it was funny,

Because the client was,

You know,

Part of the challenge of working with her is because she had the wariness,

Like a spy,

And had some very,

Not a manipulative person,

But just think of trying to get through to a personality who's a spy,

A trained spy.

And she made this breakthrough into her innocence.

So,

You know,

I've learned over like the four decades,

This,

You know,

That the body is very trustworthy,

The information I get from my body and from my body and from your guys' bodies,

It's very trustworthy.

And same when I see pictures in my mind like this,

It's always coming from the soul,

And it's always dead accurate at this point.

So I just thought that that was kind of evocative.

And the other thing I wanted to talk about was,

You know,

The Dying to Be Me book,

If you've read that book by Anita Morjani,

And she had,

She fought cancer for years,

And was dying,

And was right on that cusp of dying.

And her organs were shutting down.

And she basically went into the astral level and decided to live and,

You know,

Heal.

And while she was there,

She realized that they had done a test hours earlier.

And she realized that the outcome of the test had changed,

Like,

The outcome of the test was altering now,

Because she had decided to live.

So even this scientific test that they did,

Altered,

Because she made this decision to live.

Do you see?

And if she decided to die,

It would have shown a different outcome.

Now,

This is where this work is based.

This is my experience of existence.

We have that kind of absolute power,

If we access it.

It's just that it's,

You know,

I mean,

I accessed it through trauma with my son,

She accessed it with,

You know,

Years of metastasized cancer,

And she makes this choice.

But most of us,

We're just walking around in our egos,

And we don't have access to this power.

We can get access to it through,

You know,

If you do spiritual practices,

And you allow your ego to dissolve,

You bring forward your innocent child energy,

You try to remember the child you were,

And let that child in more.

You guys,

We're just totally miraculous.

And,

You know,

If you don't feel it,

Or you're having trouble,

You know,

Like,

Oh,

Well,

Like just hearing this,

You don't have to do anything.

Don't let this be another thing that you have to live up to,

Or that you have to do right.

Please,

Don't do that.

Just let your hearts open with it.

Just let your minds and hearts open.

That's all.

With listening to me,

That's really all I want.

If that happens,

Then you will become freer over time.

Especially if you do,

You know,

Some kind of spiritual practice,

You know.

Like,

Our egos don't want to do them,

But they do help.

The other thing is,

You know,

The way the child will,

When you start to really turn to your child,

The first thing about him or her you'll feel is their injuredness,

You know.

That's what you'll be faced with.

And that's where you basically,

You turn to God and ask for healing.

So,

For example,

With this lovely woman I was working with,

And she said,

My child self,

You know,

We're making friends,

We're talking about this,

Making friends with child self,

And she said,

My child self was so shy and self-conscious.

And I go,

And who do you think I have been working with for five years?

Like,

That has been exactly what I've spent five years trying to help her out of,

You see.

Help her get past that,

The shyness or the self-consciousness,

To help get past the injured parts,

So she can start feeling the divine child aspect.

She can start feeling your child's connection to God.

You're evolving,

You're evolving.

What happens is,

You become your injured child.

Okay,

First of all,

Okay,

To really grow,

The first thing you've got to acknowledge is that you are your injured child,

Whatever your child,

Whatever trauma you got,

You're still in it,

And you're operating from it,

And you've just,

Your ego's just covered that up.

And then as you turn and love and honor yourselves,

And forgive yourselves,

Have compassion for yourselves,

This injured child will become the divine child.

And that's what spiritual mastery is.

When the injured child has become the divine child,

And the adult person is operating in that,

Like a three-year-old.

Like,

With that innocence of a three-year-old,

And the simplicity of a three-year-old.

Yeah.

You know,

In a way,

You don't even need a,

You know,

A,

You know,

A,

You know,

Need a,

There's a level that you don't even need a therapist,

You know.

If you listen to your heart,

And follow,

You set your tiller to the healing of your child self,

And the transcending of the imprinting and difficulty,

At a highest good pace,

You'll be shown.

You'll be shown.

And if you've got the company of somebody who's done it,

Then you're,

You're blessed.

Sometimes therapists are giving therapy,

But they're more injured than the client,

You know.

So,

To be careful.

To be careful.

That's it.

I can feel in all of you,

A kind of,

That your true self has risen up in,

Through the cells of your body.

It's come up more into consciousness.

I'm seeing like this white,

Bit energy in all of you.

Hmm.

That's it.

And then take care of it.

Take care of it.

You know,

Go,

Go,

Me too.

Do you know,

I can't tell you the amount of hopelessness and the number of failures I had.

The hopelessness I struggled with.

The despair,

I had terrible trouble with despair.

Really terrible.

But that's when I realized,

What helped that was,

I realized that if you,

That one step beyond despair is the soul.

So,

If you're in despair,

What you do is you just call on the soul and you'll be brought through your despair and you'll get signs of spring.

Unless,

You know,

You're really holding on to your despair,

But like,

Don't hold on to it,

Let it change,

You know,

Because it's just the ego.

It's just the mind.

It's just the,

The,

The injured child self,

Who,

Who got blocked by,

You know,

In their family,

They couldn't be themselves.

There is nobody who has done anything bad and there's nobody who's made any mistake.

Yeah.

You know,

Alma says it's already happened.

So,

Really,

You know,

Really,

Even our mistakes,

We weren't really in control.

I'm also seeing some forgiveness coming up in some of you.

The self-forgiveness.

Good.

Even forgiveness of others.

I'm feeling it in some of you.

Good.

That's it.

I'm also seeing some forgiveness coming up in some of you.

The self-forgiveness.

Good.

Even forgiveness of others.

I'm feeling it in some of you.

Good.

That's it.

We might as well,

You know.

Does anybody have got any questions or comments?

I can't really see.

So,

You'll just have to,

Yeah.

Hi,

This is Julie.

Julie.

Julie.

Hi,

Sweetie.

I quickly want to say when you came on this morning,

I immediately felt this warmth come over me.

Like,

Just wrapped around me and it was so comforting.

It's so nice to hear your voice.

I just wanted to start off with that.

Really,

Just,

I don't know,

Just felt,

Felt really good this morning.

It was nice.

You spoke about going,

Going through your everyday life while underneath the ego is dying.

Right.

Well,

I've been experiencing that exact feeling for what seems like a long time.

So long.

I feel like I'm on autopilot most of the time.

Like,

I'm pretending with everyone and I just want to get past myself.

I mean,

Since,

Since I've woke,

It's like my ego has become like 10 times more judgmental with myself and with others.

I try to just be the witness and pray and hope that it will ease up.

But it's so strong and I'm getting impatient.

I just want to tell it to shut up because it just,

The thoughts that come to my head are just,

They're,

They seem cruel.

Well,

You can,

You know,

You can,

You can.

I mean,

Sometimes it's like,

Yeah,

Just yell,

Tell it to fuck off.

Like,

This is it.

Like,

No,

But really the little child energy,

Like,

Yeah,

Like,

Yeah.

Like,

Tell it you're not going to put up with it.

Like,

If you do that from your little child energy,

Then it will actually help.

Yeah.

Right.

You know,

The,

When the ego threatened it,

It,

It gets like a tin pot dictator.

Yeah.

It does.

It's just stronger than ever.

And it's just this voice in the back of my head constantly just judging others.

And I've never,

I never remember feeling that way.

And I know that's not me.

And I just,

I'm so,

I'm so tired.

It seems like it's been going on and getting stronger.

For how long?

Oh,

Like,

Probably the last year.

Yeah.

Well,

You see,

It is you in the sense of it's parts,

You know,

With the transformation,

Some,

You know,

Parts,

Ugly parts come up to be cleared.

Do you know what I mean?

If you say it's not you that I,

You know what I mean?

I,

It is you.

It's all you.

Okay.

Yeah,

That's the good,

The bad and the ugly,

You know?

Right.

Right.

Yeah.

Like,

You know,

Abraham used to say,

What you can embrace,

You can grow beyond.

If you can embrace it,

You will get bigger than it.

And it will disappear.

But if you're fighting it,

It will get bigger.

Okay.

So embrace that feeling,

Just let it,

Let it come through me.

Yeah,

It's like,

I want you to get it intellectually that you're,

Well,

You did get it that you're in the,

You're in the process of an ego death.

So just kind of sit back and observe it a little bit with more equanimity without feeling you have to manage it.

You know,

Like,

Yeah,

You don't have to manage it.

You,

It's uncomfortable.

I mean,

You could,

I really recommend journaling,

Because it does to it saves me because I would get it out on paper,

And it would come out of my head.

You see,

I wouldn't.

Yeah,

People circulate with the thoughts for 24 hours.

But if you write it on paper,

You're expressing it,

It gets smaller.

Mm hmm.

I know women,

You know,

Good at journaling,

And I need to get back into that.

Yeah,

Because the ego will try to get you not to but then,

But you might as well.

Yeah,

You don't want to circle around.

Also,

You know,

Shiatsu bodywork helped me a lot.

Shiatsu came in.

Yeah.

But it's for you to really kind of get that you're,

You're losing your old self,

And you're becoming somebody new.

So,

You know,

So,

You know,

Talk to God a lot,

You know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I have been,

I have been praying more.

And that's been helping just,

You know,

Talking to myself,

To the source to the divine.

Yeah,

Asking for assistance and that's it.

Yep.

But I guess I'm just,

I get I'm impatient.

I think that's what it is.

I know.

But sweetie,

Julie,

You see,

This is this is beautiful.

You're you're saying this because it's transformation is like giving birth.

So when we're giving birth,

We're just in it,

Right?

We're not monitoring ourselves.

We're not judging ourselves.

You see,

This is where we stop our growth,

We monitor ourselves,

We judge ourselves,

Just be in this birth.

Just be in it.

You know,

Ride the waves,

If you're sad,

Cry.

If you're judgmental,

I mean,

I used to sometimes,

Yeah,

Scream into my pillow.

Yeah.

And,

You know,

Speak,

Let me know how you're doing,

You know,

In a couple of weeks,

Like,

Speak again about how you're doing.

Okay.

Okay,

I'm going to take,

I'm going to journal.

I'm taking that seriously.

I'm going to get better at it.

Because I do believe that I know in the past that has helped me and I'm glad you brought that up again.

I think that's,

That's a key for me for sure.

And sometimes I would scribble all over a page with frustration,

You know,

Like,

Let yourself be like a child,

Let yourself be like,

Wild,

Like a child.

Yeah.

Okay.

Actually,

Julie,

That came from the divine right then it was a let yourself be wild like a child.

That is a directive that's for you.

Okay.

Okay,

I'm writing that down.

Yes.

Yeah.

All right.

Thank you so much.

And again,

It's lovely to hear you.

Oh,

Julie,

Thank you.

Thank you.

It's lovely to hear this.

Thank you.

Okay,

Thank you.

With your heart.

Okay.

Okay,

So we got time for somebody else.

Please come forward.

If you feel if you feel to do.

There's no need to be scared,

You know,

Or shy.

We all experience the same things,

You know.

It's very quiet.

Premasutha,

Here's Trilochan.

If no one is asking anything,

I asked you to maybe go deeper into a topic.

If I understood you correctly,

You said at the very end,

You don't have to do anything.

You just have to sink in your heart,

Go deeper in your heart,

Right?

Yeah.

But I think intellectually,

We all may know it.

But I guess,

Whatever level we all are,

It's not working yet,

Or maybe only working to a certain level.

So when you just answered the question before you gave a few techniques,

Right?

Like journaling,

Like praying,

Like,

You know,

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Could you say a bit more what could help us to go deeper to our heart?

Because it's so easy said,

Right?

But I guess we're all struggling.

Otherwise,

We wouldn't be here at the very end.

You know,

Because we need techniques somehow,

Right?

We need Elisabeth.

How about if the reason you're not going into your heart is because you don't want to?

Maybe.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Because you think you've got too much to lose,

If you do that.

But actually,

You don't.

You would just have the world to gain.

Yeah.

So you think it's that easy?

If I feel like I can only gain,

I will go there?

Well,

Yeah,

I mean,

I think it's you don't want to.

This is for you to hear.

You don't want to go into your heart.

I want you to understand that.

You actually have an elaborate playground that you're playing in that keeps you very distracted from the truth of your heart.

It's actually quite heartbreaking for me to watch.

But maybe this will help.

And we,

You know,

We can't be pushed.

We can't be rushed.

It's like we get it when we get it.

One of the things that helped me was getting older because I didn't have the energy to keep keep up my machinations going.

And also,

You're not in trouble,

And I'm not criticizing you at all,

Man,

I just want to like help free you out of this.

Yeah,

I'm very happy you're direct.

You know,

A little bit since we're emailing about my struggles currently,

But I guess what you're saying at the very end is probably valid for most of us,

Because we're all struggling to go into the heart,

I guess.

Right.

Yeah,

But there's a bit of a deflection there away from you to the collective,

Which is fine.

And that may be true,

But it is part of,

It was a deflection that stops it go deeper in you about what I'm saying.

Yeah,

Man,

I'll tell you,

I can smell tricks a mile away.

I do,

I can.

It's like,

I'll tell you,

My mom was so good at denial,

And I would get so confused.

And the great gift of it is,

I smell it a mile away.

And you're not in trouble,

You just don't know how great you are.

You're scared of actually the hugeness of your soul energy,

Which is,

I would say,

You know,

Whatever you see in me is you.

You have a really,

Really strong soul who really wants to love this life.

You know,

If you drive a car,

Every car's got it.

There's a certain speed that if you drive a car at,

It will start to fall apart.

So the car has to drop down and become slower,

Or go faster.

And I don't want you to go slower.

I'm hoping that you will go right through this challenge you're in,

To realize that you can find a peace,

And you can live in your soul energy,

And function here in the world just fine.

And I understand that you are in a very big challenge,

And I don't want to make it seem small at all.

It's a total challenge.

But that's what really strong souls get.

They get enormous challenges.

Because,

You know,

When the going gets tough,

The tough get going,

Basically.

That's the truth of you,

Man.

When it gets tough,

The tough get going.

And nothing else brings it forward but some very tough challenge.

Otherwise,

It wouldn't surface.

The greatness within you wouldn't surface unless you have some kind of big obstacle.

That's kind of how it works.

I just don't want you to believe in the reality of your obstacle.

It's like,

That's what I felt with the emails,

That you believed in the reality of it,

Whereas I know that you're just stuck in this transition.

It's just you're believing this fear,

And it's just fear.

And it manifests when the soul's on the move.

Great fear will come up.

But it's like you know about the fear,

And you don't know about your soul.

And you know,

You're not doing it wrong or anything.

I mean,

It's meant to be this way.

It's meant to be this difficult for you.

It's meant to be like something that seems indigestible.

It's meant to feel this way.

It's just that you're speaking to somebody who watched a child heal from leukemia.

And like I said,

I had those two nervous breakdowns,

And I just transformed into an expanded understanding.

Understanding it's everything can be transformed.

There's nothing that's permanent.

It's just we just don't believe in it.

I'll tell you,

With these nervous breakdowns,

I was so invited to become a marginal woman on pills my whole life.

It was very strong from the psychiatrist,

From my family,

And everything.

And it's like,

I'm like,

I'm not doing that.

That's what I want to see in you a little bit.

Like,

Don't you want the life you came here for?

And it's not solvable by you.

It's solvable by grace.

Keep asking for grace.

I tell you,

I'm going to be working with that IV coming from Mama.

That's what solves it.

It's like,

Gradually,

You'll grow out of this.

Gradually,

Your psyche,

You'll get taught that it's not the truth,

What you're going through.

That it's just halfway,

You're just stuck.

You're like a half-born shaman.

Yeah,

You can be helped with the birth.

You can get grace,

My will,

My energy,

It's right behind you.

I'm available.

You're just half-born.

You're just stuck.

And it's like,

I was like that in the loony bin.

I was like a half-born shaman.

And I looked around,

And I was surrounded by half-born shamans.

And we were being put on pills,

And nobody knew how to help us give birth,

Because everybody was trained in the medical model.

And nobody,

They just made us wrong.

And just,

I mean,

I just don't want this to turn into that you think that I have expectations of you,

Or that you're doing something wrong.

You're not.

It's just,

I'm siding with your life,

You know?

Yeah,

I believe in you.

Thank you.

Okay.

How are you feeling right now?

I cannot really tell you currently how I'm really feeling.

It is to sink down first,

To be honest.

It's not yet there that I can really say.

Okay,

But,

So are you a little shocked or confused?

Can you,

I want to,

Pardon?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Pardon?

I don't want to let you off the hook.

No,

I can hear that.

I can hear that.

On the one hand,

I'm surprised,

Because I thought to ask a very general question,

But I'm happy for sure you make it very personal to my current struggles.

But I'm shocked that it seems that I'm so kind of stubborn to hold on to rather my unreality to the fears,

Rather than to really go deeper to my soul,

To be whatever.

Yeah,

I cannot put it in better words currently,

But.

Right.

No,

That's it.

But remember,

Now,

Please,

This is really important.

You can't do it.

All you can do is just make room for your soul to help you.

That was my initial question.

I mean,

I thought what we can do,

What are the,

You know,

You just make room.

But for all our,

What are the struggles we're all in?

What can we do?

Is it praying?

Is it praying for grace?

That's what I was asking.

That was my intention of the question,

Because.

I know.

It was like at the level of the head,

And I want to reach their heart.

And so that's why I did it this way.

Yeah.

I'll tell you,

People get niggled by me.

You know,

They get like irritated.

I know.

I know.

It's okay.

Totally fine.

Don't worry.

I'm very happy with direct answers.

I know.

You're very sweet.

It's okay.

It's all,

It's all,

It all runs off.

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's just human.

It's like,

This is what we're like.

It's okay.

There's no fault.

Okay.

It's wonderful.

Thank you for asking the question,

Because it brought a level of depth that helped everybody.

Yeah.

Actually,

It really helped everybody get more real.

So,

Fantastic.

Thank you.

Well,

Thank you.

Thank you for coming.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well,

Last call.

It's 11.

15.

Well,

I don't know.

It's what,

9.

15.

I don't know their times,

But anyway,

It's an hour and a quarter.

So,

If somebody needs to say something,

Well,

Please come forward,

And otherwise we'll complete.

Okay.

Well,

Please remember that I think of you,

And I send you blessings and grace,

And I'm rooting for you,

Not like a hockey mom,

Not like that rooting,

But I'm so behind you in your quest for more life,

For more freedom,

For to be yourselves.

It's all I want for you.

It's all I want.

It's all I want.

Yeah.

And,

You know,

The more of us that just do this,

The more conscious the world will become.

And,

You know,

That small groups,

You know,

The power of small groups,

And well,

Look what Amma's doing,

But,

You know,

Like a small group,

So you can learn how to evolve,

How to include your own psychology in your evolution,

So it's not like so much bad or good,

So that you come to terms with your own psychology more,

And accept it,

And embrace it,

Because you're beautiful,

Beautiful souls.

Yeah,

And my heart opens just thinking of you.

Okay.

So,

All my love,

And next Saturday will be,

Because on Sunday,

I'll be having,

I hope,

A good night,

Or goodbye darshan from Amma.

That's why it has to be a Saturday.

Thank you.

Thank you so much for coming.

Okay.

Blessings.

Blessings.