What Works And Doesn't Work On The Spiritual Journey

Many blessings.

Hi,

Benjamin.

Hi,

Everyone.

Yeah.

Thank you for coming.

So good to see you.

Yeah.

You know,

It was another 3am.

Wake up with lots of cooking and preparation.

And a couple of nights ago,

I was up all night.

So there's big working with this one's nervous system.

So as a result,

Today,

I'm going to be very kind of,

I can feel it.

It's kind of no nonsense,

You guys.

But no nonsense.

Okay.

So,

You know,

Feminine energy is unconditional life.

The female gives birth.

So if the child has six fingers,

She still has to love the child.

And if there's a war on and her husband's,

You know,

Fighting,

And she's all alone,

She still has to find reason to get up in the morning and take care of the children.

So women have this kind of celebration of life here on the physical,

Because we have these children who are God in human form.

See,

So we have to celebrate the physical in order to give them what they need to grow up to be happy adults.

Okay,

So men are less into the physical,

They're more,

They come in more,

It's like taking action in the physical.

It's a little bit not so,

The physical isn't their vehicle the same way that it is for women.

And as part of,

You know,

Men can actually enter deeply into the physical celebration of life through love of a woman.

You know,

Men are attracted to a woman's physicality.

It's part of what keeps the male energy here on earth.

And part of where,

You know,

Men go into destruction,

You know,

Like they'll just destroy,

More likely to destroy.

Women,

We have the children,

We're like the protectors of life.

Like,

Please really get this understanding because if you really let yourself see it,

It will help the journey make more sense.

And it will help your relationships make more sense.

And we'll celebrate each sex for what they bring.

Right.

Okay.

So when a woman becomes very wise,

What she does is,

It's like she can look into the eyes of death and still find a reason to celebrate.

Really,

That is what a woman will do.

That is because she's celebrating the divine here on earth.

So it sort of doesn't matter what's happening.

It's still worth it,

But it's to see it clearly.

Okay,

This for women,

To let yourselves see clearly.

And what that means as well is to allow yourself to feel your feelings and emotions as they arise.

Just let yourself feel them.

You don't maybe have to act on them,

But let yourself feel them.

Okay.

And this will help you begin to see more clearly.

Okay.

It's really,

Really important to see clearly.

See,

In my work with people,

I have to see where they are in the journey clearly.

And I have to see their character clearly to know what's going to be hard for them to understand,

What's going to be easy for them to understand.

There's kind of a feeling as if there's a channel clearing,

There's a little bit of obstruction.

And this obstruction will be clearing,

And it will allow this deeper flow.

It's like this deeper flow of truth.

This will be happening inside us.

And also,

It will be in the world,

Because everything is one.

You see,

The spiritual journey is really,

Really logical.

And I don't know why it's considered that it isn't.

But your mind has to get very big before you see the logic of it.

Okay.

So that's why a lot of this work has to do with broadening the mind.

So you can see clearly,

And you can navigate,

Follow the light,

And navigate through obstacles.

Okay.

So one of the logical things is,

On Earth,

Once you've said that you're going to wake up,

You make a commitment,

Make a commitment,

Like a commitment takes place between you and your soul.

And so your soul will say,

Okay,

This one's going to university.

It's going to the wisdom university,

The awakening university.

And so your soul will start giving you an enhanced curriculum.

So if you've told your soul that you want to wake up,

And you're taking steps,

And you hit an obstruction,

You hit resistance,

And you decide that you don't want to do this after all,

Your soul goes,

But you decided to awaken.

So your soul will turn up the heat of what's ever bothering you.

This is what I want to communicate to you.

If you are suffering,

Understand,

I mean,

Let this drop into your heart,

That if you're suffering,

The problem is resistance.

So you can be with your suffering in that understanding.

Now,

It's not to berate yourself at all.

It's just human.

I mean,

This is why we come to dissolve the resistances,

To allow the resistances to dissolve and move into truth.

So it's not bad.

But many of you don't really want to take responsibility for this.

There's some people that are really caught in the groove of suffering.

It's like a record playing stuck.

Right.

I mean,

I think we all know that.

I'll tell you that,

Especially early on,

That was one of my biggest difficulties.

And there's another secret I want to tell you,

Is that women,

You know,

Especially if we're,

Maybe it's less true now,

But when I was going through it in my 30s,

There was almost a permission given to women to suffer.

It was almost like kind of expected.

It's a way to like,

Pour your power out.

You can keep pouring your power out by suffering,

You know,

And we'll take care of you.

Yeah.

And the other thing is,

For,

You know,

30s,

When,

You know,

The good looks are still there,

It's like,

There was always lots of male attention as a result to be the suffering woman and the loving man would come and help and be patient and everything.

And,

You know,

Like,

It's just,

It's just such,

It's just such unnecessary.

It's so unnecessary.

You know,

There's one level that it's already happened.

And so it's like a joke that it's already happened.

But there's another level where it's like,

At any moment we could step out of the game,

We could turn the record player off and stop the,

And I'll tell you,

You know,

Again,

This is sort of the bloodless eyes of the wise woman who looks into the face of death and still sees God is,

I'll tell you,

Look,

How do I say this?

You know,

If we're really in resistance,

And we've got a big no to God going,

I just wonder,

Do you know what happens to us?

What will happen is we'll tend to get abandoned,

And we'll be thrown back on our own.

No,

No to God.

I mean,

Again,

Logically,

This is why we get abandoned,

Because we are abandoning ourselves.

And so the metaphor of our life will reflect this back to us.

We'll get abandoned.

Now,

And in no way am I saying it's okay to abandon suffering people.

Do you understand?

I'm talking about how the spiritual journey is logical.

So really,

The point of this is to help you take responsibility for your own self,

And for what you're doing with your mind and body.

Because I'll tell you,

When I really got so abandoned,

There was absolutely nothing and nobody for me.

No kids,

No money,

No nothing.

I turned to God.

You know,

Like,

Where are you going to go,

You know?

You go to God,

And you see that's what I needed to do.

And my soul was very compassionate about getting me to steer in the right direction.

So it was all very loving.

But it didn't feel it.

It really didn't feel it at all.

But it was all love.

This is what I'm telling you.

Like,

It's so big that it's hard for our minds to get around it,

Get the understanding of how loving it is.

But once you realize how it works,

You'll flow into love.

You'll start embodying your truth.

Because the other thing about endless suffering is it doesn't,

If we're stuck on the record playing going,

We're not helping anybody at all.

What helps people are the wild souls who step and go,

I'm going to heal no matter what.

I'm going to allow the healing.

I'm going to think about God 24 seven.

I'm going to look at everything as if it's happening to help me,

Not hurt me.

Yeah.

You see,

This is how big compassion is.

Like,

It's almost like to communicate the secrets of how it really works so you can move through the obstructions quicker.

You see,

One of the things with working with people and,

You know,

We feel blamed really easily because we're carrying shame.

So,

Sometimes when it's just like a clear statement of truth,

It's registering as blame and that's not any intention of mine at all.

There's no blame at all.

It's just how it works.

Right.

It's the big understanding of how it works.

You see,

When we say to a teacher,

Oh,

This hurts my feelings,

Or I feel blamed.

It's kind of like we're,

That's what our ego is saying.

And the teacher goes,

Yeah,

That's,

That's,

That's what the ego is saying.

Yeah.

And so,

The teacher goes,

Well,

What are you going to do with that now?

Now we know that's what the ego is saying.

Now what?

And then it's up to the person what they do with it.

Well,

They let the love that the teacher has really hit home to them,

Really hit home to their hearts,

Really come home to their hearts.

Because you see,

The teacher,

An authentic teacher is in a transpersonal reality.

It's like she really knows that we're,

We're not even human.

But,

You know,

Especially through the female,

It's like you love the humans and you love,

You love their humanity and you love their souls.

But you're always going to side with their souls because that's who you guys really are,

Your souls.

So that's who I'm speaking to always,

Any teacher,

You know,

This is all of us.

But again,

It's like women can fall into this.

They feel powerless.

And so,

Our ego does,

Our inter-child self felt powerless because he or she was.

But we're never powerless because we're God,

You know.

So,

I'll just tell you before every satsang,

I dump the garbage where I live.

I make sure that there's no physical garbage in where I am living before I give the satsang.

Okay.

So,

It is like a symbolic gesture in a way to,

You know,

Just affirm the desire for just the purity of the unconditional love to come through.

And I physically do that.

And sometimes I don't really want to do that.

Like,

I don't want to have to make the effort,

But I just do it.

And that,

That is taking your power.

Women,

We work with the physical.

You work with the physical,

Particularly.

Men can do this too.

But the physical is a real realm of the feminine.

So,

We can always take our power like this.

It's like when I,

For years and years and years,

Whenever I had a shower or a bath,

I would just imagine all the misunderstandings I was carrying,

Going down the drain with the water.

Every shower,

Every bath.

I was taking my power.

Do you get it?

I was on it 24-7.

Man,

I was going to like transcend this life.

Okay.

So,

Like,

What I think lots,

Lots of people do.

I mean,

I used to wonder what people thought about.

And actually,

I think we think a lot about ourselves.

Do you know that?

We circle around in our upbringing or whatever.

And it's like,

That's not taking your power.

You know,

Your power is like disrupting your thoughts a bit with forward action.

Do you know,

I mean,

The great thing is I just went by the seat of my pants.

I just like followed my intuitions,

You know,

About what to do.

And that came to me as an intuition to do.

And,

You know,

I kind of go like,

Do you do stuff like that?

You know?

Or are you going around in,

Ain't it awful?

You know?

Or I don't have enough money or whatever.

And I get it.

I know how powerful that stuff can be.

But our souls are way more powerful.

Way more powerful.

And you've got the support of satsang as well as other things that you do.

In fact,

You know,

I had a dream.

Amma was telling me about this woman who was offering university courses through the internet.

And her name was Dorothy.

And that people over three years could make major steps into integrity.

And I woke up very happy.

And what I realized is,

I feel it was about these satsangs.

And I feel Dorothy is like the Wizard of Oz Dorothy,

You know,

Clicking the red shoes.

Because,

You know,

I read fairy tales till I was 12.

And I told you my family was very intellectual.

And we had these books of knowledge.

And they had fairy tales in them.

They were like from 1912.

And I would be reading them.

And my parents would be very proud that I was reading the books of knowledge.

But I was reading these fairy tales.

So the whole thing was ridiculous.

But that,

You know,

Being immersed in fairy tales like that,

Saved me in lots of ways.

It helped me keep the magic.

It was like a desperate child trying to hold on to the magic of the divine.

And as I told you,

I think a student of Ramana Maharshi said that the fairy tales are remnants of spiritual tales.

And perhaps that's their power.

So a lot of this like with the Dorothy,

You know,

It's like,

It is magic.

What happens if you really devote your whole heart and soul to awakening?

Not in a forced way.

I didn't force myself to imagine my confusions going down the drain with the water.

I just wanted it so badly.

Right.

But you know,

You have to wake up enough to want it that badly.

And remember,

I want to go like it's already happened and your soul's orchestrating the whole thing.

So really,

You're not to blame for anything.

It's just hear what I'm saying with an open mind and open heart,

You know,

Sort of like somebody telling you some tips about how to climb the mountain,

You know,

Like you'd listen to somebody like a Sherpa.

Yeah,

Like a how-to a little bit.

You know,

There's a book,

An old book about a Russian peasant that was written a long time ago,

Decades and decades ago,

Like 1912 or something.

It's about this Russian peasant and his travels and his walk,

As he walked,

How his spiritual journey developed.

And what he did is he just said to himself over and over again,

Something like,

Lord Jesus Christ,

Have mercy upon me.

Lord Jesus Christ,

Have mercy upon me.

Okay.

Now,

Saying something like that,

Or a mantra,

Or sending compassion to yourself,

Or imagining angels disrupts the of the patterning of our conditioned stupidity.

Yeah.

You see,

And you have the power to do that.

Yeah.

You know,

In people in jobs,

There's some people,

You know,

Say who really want to get ahead.

And I'm but I'm talking about ethical people.

I'm not talking about any,

You know,

Any weird stuff,

Just ethical.

And they're just on it,

Night and day,

Getting ahead,

Right.

And then there are other people who just like,

Want a comfortable birth in a way,

Or just want a comfortable cubicle.

It's the same thing on the journey.

You know,

Some people just want the comfort of Bajans,

Comfort of gathering with other people for meditations.

They're not really wanting it for themselves to really wake up.

And it's okay.

We have to have like all kinds of lives,

You know,

But also maybe you're one of the people who didn't realize that you can,

That you can really have this knowledge,

This life that is available to you.

And,

You know,

Again,

Again,

The logic of the journey,

Okay,

To the degree that we're sincere,

We will get the knowledge.

See,

Like,

In my,

Like,

I went from,

Like,

The level of teachers that I got,

Went up with my sincerity,

You know,

Back from like,

In a totally incompetent one in my mid 30s to Abraham,

And then to Ama.

And also,

There is a beautiful Maori shaman.

As I got more pure heart,

I found pure teachers,

You see,

Everything that's happening to us is a reflection of us,

And what we're doing on the journey.

So the pretty much the most powerful thing we can do is step back and observe,

Observe ourselves and observe our life with a little bit of a dispassion.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just be with the truth of it.

Like,

You know,

Wise woman eyes,

See the truth of it.

Another thing that's connected with people having trouble taking their power,

People will say to me,

Oh,

You know,

My dad was very hard on me,

Or my mom was really like,

Unloving.

And they,

Though,

I'll be helping them try to like,

Get over their ego,

Move into truth.

And they'll say,

Oh,

Well,

My,

My parent,

You know,

Hurt me.

And it's like,

So it's like,

Yeah,

So like,

That,

That's almost irrelevant.

It's,

You know,

Because whatever a parent did to us is what is the patterns that we have,

That we're bringing in from other lives.

And we chose these parents to imprint us with this stuff.

This is what I mean,

The big eyes,

The big understanding.

So when you get that,

You,

You realize that anything that's going on any,

Any resistance is no longer has anything to do with them.

It has to do,

It's your responsibility.

It's your responsibility to allow it to dissolve.

Right?

There's nobody to blame.

And even you,

You're not to blame either.

And that's a really important thing to get.

You are never to blame for anything,

Truly,

Please,

You can let your ego dissolve without like,

At a self blame will stop your ego from dissolving,

Because it's your ego that that blames you.

Yeah.

So it's like,

Coming back to yourself and observing yourself more and more deeply,

Your actions,

Your thoughts.

And you know,

Whatever is happening to you is part of your ego clearing,

You know,

It's just your homework.

It's just what you've been assigned.

It's not you.

So for example,

I went to a store and there was these statues that came from India.

And I think they were probably stolen.

They must have been anyway,

They were like where they were rubbed.

You know,

People bowed and and touched the feet so much that the feet were,

Were the painted rubbed off.

And I could feel the,

The power of the statue,

The love power.

And it was this store was I think,

Going out of business,

And it was half off.

And so it was very reasonable.

So I bought it.

And,

You know,

We had had this very heartfelt conversation with the store people.

And then as soon as I paid the money,

It totally was different.

And they,

They,

They,

They wanted the money through inter interact.

So,

You know,

I did that.

And then there's a sometimes there's a half an hour delay before the interact will,

You'll get a message confirming it.

Basically,

They wouldn't let me have the story till it was confirmed.

And I feel this irritation,

You know,

Like I noticed this irritation.

It's like,

And I was a little like,

Flipped.

Right?

So I just observed this.

I just observed this.

And afterwards,

I thought,

Why would I expect unconditional love from people in a shop?

Do you know,

They're selling something,

So you're your best,

Their best friend,

As long as you're buying something.

And as soon as you're no longer necessary,

You know,

Who are you?

Right?

So that's the way of the world.

You know,

That's what it's like.

But we can use how it is in the world,

And observe ourselves and become more perfect.

Let our souls come in and perfect us.

I mean,

We're already perfect.

But,

You know,

To really feel perfect here on the earth plane,

You have to give up your ego.

And that's so hard,

Because we,

We think it's us.

And it isn't.

Yeah.

You know,

In our family of origin stuff,

Our mammalian brain holds on to the trauma.

So this is why with the first round of healing,

We remember all the sad stories and the hard things.

But what happens after a certain point,

You get through that and you start remembering all the good things.

Yeah.

And it totally balances what happened to you.

But if you're just stuck in the the trauma part,

It can feel very imbalanced.

And we feel like all everything's so dark,

The world is so terrible.

But when we ourselves let go of the trauma of our upbringing,

We remember the good things about growing up and we see more good in the world.

You guys,

You can never get out of your spiritual journey because you are divine being so you're never going to be let off the hook.

I mean,

You can decide to go ahead and go AWOL.

You know,

There are periods in the journey where you can go back to the world.

There's a spiritual opening right at the opening,

When the honeymoon starts.

Right after that,

When the ego starts rattling its chains,

A person can decide that it's all just bullshit and go back to the back to the world.

And the same thing happens right in the middle of the journey.

And then just before self-realization.

And this is personally what I think happened to Gayatri who worked with Amma as you know,

Taking care of her.

And Amma had given her after 25 years of staying,

Taking care of Amma.

Amma had given her another job,

Wanted her to do something in the broader ashram.

And Gayatri lost her faith over this within three days.

Even though Amma said that she was wanting Gayatri to become another Amma in the ashram,

You know,

To,

Yeah,

That's why I think it was that to move into the full self-realization and then offer the same unconditional love that Amma is,

Although Amma is like a million of us.

And Gayatri lost her faith then,

And then has spent like,

You know,

20 years or 10 years or whatever,

You know,

Writing the book about Amma making all kinds of accusations.

And,

You know,

But the joke is the people who do this,

Because Krishna had one too,

Was that they,

Because they spend their whole lives focusing on Amma,

Even if it's through hate,

They end up transcending the earth plane just because they focus so obsessively on God.

Do you understand this?

This is how stacked it is in our favor.

I know.

I mean,

It boggles the mind.

This is why the broad mind,

You see?

Yeah.

There is no bad or good.

There's just embodying the divine or refusing to embody the divine.

That's kind of it.

You know,

With the old,

You know,

The old idea of the devil,

And,

You know,

The devil spells lived backwards.

Dog is God spelled backwards.

Devil is lived.

Okay.

So,

In our lives,

You know,

We've lived through some difficulties.

And maybe as a child,

We decided that this world was unloving,

And that we were really on our own,

And that life isn't safe.

And then we maybe go to Amma,

And we have a spiritual opening.

And we feel the love.

We have some kind of experience of this love.

Okay.

So,

Immediately,

What will happen is the ego will come up and say,

Don't do this.

It's very dangerous.

Look at what you've lived.

Look at what's happened to you in the past.

You know,

This isn't safe.

You know,

You always get disappointed.

You know,

You're going to get betrayed.

Don't open.

Go back into your shell.

Okay.

That is the devil.

You see,

It's what you've lived when your experience was that love did not work,

That love wasn't really there.

And the whole courage of the spiritual journey is to stand there,

To feel this,

Oh,

I'm scared it's not real.

And to,

As Amma says,

Walk out on thin ice.

Even if it feels that love isn't safe,

You've got the devil,

What you've lived in the past,

Speaking to you.

You step out on the thin ice anyway,

And you will find that it holds.

It will always hold.

Because love exists.

Because the universe takes very good care of sincere speakers,

Sincere seekers.

Truly,

The fool in the fairy tale wins.

It's like I've told you before about being in Mexico,

City of 10 million being lost in the subway.

And this guy came over and said,

You look very lonely.

Can I help you?

Are you lost?

It's like,

I was the fool in the fairy tale.

I went down to Mexico on my own,

Wanting to find some peace.

And,

You know,

Walked around this city like,

And I'll tell you,

Everybody honks their horns.

It's just,

Yeah.

I always got saved.

Over and over again.

Okay.

So,

The mind is wary.

The mind says,

Don't do it.

You're going to get hurt.

The mind says,

You know the way of the world.

You know what it's like.

And the heart goes,

I love.

The heart loves.

The mind goes,

Don't do it.

Don't do it.

The heart goes,

I can't help it.

I can't possibly help it.

And the mind says,

You're going to get hurt.

You're going to get hurt.

And the heart goes,

Well,

It's worth it.

The love.

It's worth getting hurt.

It's not the end of the world.

The love just gets bigger.

If you have a sincere attitude with every hurt,

Your love gets bigger.

Your love and understanding gets bigger.

And what happens is your broken heart,

You know,

Breaks over the course of a lifetime,

Breaks and breaks and breaks.

And then finally,

Your heart just stays open.

It never gets broken again because your understanding is so big.

Really what's breaking is our understanding.

When we say a heart's broken,

It's really our understanding that's broken.

You don't understand that,

But that's okay.

You will if you keep going.

Has anybody got any questions or comments?

Oh,

The other thing I want to say is please listen to the satsang again.

You know,

Especially if you're taking notes,

Please.

And actually,

It's probably better not to take notes and to do the satsang and listen to it after if you want.

Laura,

Did you have a question?

Yes.

Thank you.

Hi,

Everybody.

What you just said,

Our understanding breaks.

Does part of that mean getting disillusioned when you think something was true and it's not?

Right.

Yeah,

That's part of it.

Right.

Right.

Good.

And the other thing is,

What happened to Gayathri?

What is she doing now?

Well,

I think she's still doing it.

Like,

Telling everybody how awful Amma is.

Yeah.

It's just like,

Oh boy.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Thanks.

I,

You know,

My feeling is it's a very hard way to transcend because if you're hating a Christ level figure,

You're going to have a very uncomfortable emotional experience.

Yeah.

Even if you're focusing obsessively on them.

Yeah.

That's why actually,

You know,

People who with obsessive thinking,

Trouble with obsessive thinking,

If they get onto God,

They can,

If they can get their mind thinking about God,

They could do like a fast track because they never stopped thinking about it.

It's like the person who says the mantra.

You see,

Everything can be,

Even the terrible things can be used.

It all becomes good.

Yeah.

Oh,

Please.

You see,

This is the difference.

Like somebody goes,

You know,

Some psychologist says you have a problem with obsessive thinking and the person could like,

Devalue themselves,

Like can never make any progress because they're going,

Oh,

I've got obsessive thinking.

But if they think about God,

Then nothing's going to stop them.

Right.

Has anybody got any other questions or comments?

Yeah.

Susan.

Yes.

I would love to say,

Um,

Hi to all.

Hi.

Yeah.

I would love to say to hear,

To listen to satsang again,

Because I was hearing the last satsang and what happened is my heart,

I could feel in my heart needles and age and for 15 hours,

It hurts so much.

And,

Uh,

I,

I,

I don't have,

I thought,

Um,

It's what's,

Uh,

It was a heartbreak,

What I'm feeling.

And,

Um,

That is helping me to hear that again.

Yeah.

I mean,

If you,

I mean,

Okay,

So I'll tell you what really worked for me.

And like,

I am the poster student for how this,

How much this works.

So when something like that happened for me,

I wouldn't go,

Oh,

This is a heartbreak.

I'd go,

My heart's opening.

So you,

You got there,

But first you went through heartache.

So do you see what I mean?

If you just go,

Oh,

My heart's opening,

There's no obstruction.

Do you get this?

Yes,

I get this.

Okay.

Yeah.

So you were really on track,

Susan.

It's just,

I'm just helping you.

Yeah.

Right.

And the deeper the pain in your body,

The deeper the healing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it was a very deep pain in my heart and needles in my whole,

Um,

Chest,

In my whole chest was like needles.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Totally.

I mean,

You know,

The spiritual journey,

You'll just be brought this stuff.

I mean,

I told you my joint saved for three months,

Every joint.

I mean,

I went through my bones hurt for three months.

I mean,

There's one person that I've been working with and,

And she's clearing stuff from her bones.

And what I was getting from,

As I was working with her,

Was that her body would no longer hold onto heavy metals.

As she was clearing this level resistance in her bones.

You see?

Yeah.

So really pain is good.

Yeah.

Masochistic way.

Yeah.

Is that,

Have you finished Suzanne?

Have you,

Do you feel it's finished?

Okay,

Good.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And interesting.

She'd been to,

Um,

You know,

I don't know,

Naturopath or something at Amaz Ashram the year before,

And the person had given her something to help heavy metals,

Leave her body,

But she'd reach a level of vibration where her body would not hold onto them.

It's like,

Um,

It's where the shamans can drink poison.

I'm not recommending this,

You know,

But Abraham had drunk poison nine times.

And each time it was a spiritual initiation into a higher vibration.

And it's,

You know,

Every time he was risking his life.

I mean,

This is aboriginal shamanism.

I mean,

It's no nonsense.

Yeah.

So you risk your life.

And you know,

If you're not clear,

You die.

And if you make the leap into deeper trust of God,

Your body handles the poisons.

Like,

This is why I get like with,

With,

Um,

You know,

With our focus on ailments and everything,

Our bodies have an invincible quality.

And if we think of them as faulty machines,

And not very powerful,

We're,

We're disempowering ourselves.

Yeah.

And everybody's so loved,

You guys,

You're so lovable,

And you're so loved,

And you're just perfect the way you are.

You know,

I think it's like,

I'm just a disruptor,

You know,

It's like disrupting even the usual spiritual training,

You know,

Because there are lots of,

You know,

Monasteries and everything where there's no master coming up.

And I think this is because of the so many rules of regulations that the people get squashed,

Like they're,

They,

They follow the rules too much.

And you see,

You have to listen.

Yeah,

I mean,

Right,

Like,

Isn't that?

That's our era,

Right?

Being good,

Following the rules,

And there's no master for the,

The monastery.

Yeah.

The disruption is good.

We need it.

Yeah.

You know,

If you feel really stuck,

You can just imagine,

You know,

Opening the doors and windows of your mind,

You know,

Of your heart,

You could just play this way,

Play with it.

You know,

There's,

There is no resistance that can knock you off forever,

Because any resistance,

Okay,

Please listen,

Is like you putting your thumb up to the sun.

If you put your thumb up to the sun,

You know,

It might hide the sun.

Right?

So you don't have to squint and everything.

But the sun's still there.

And,

You know,

It's your own thumb that's blocking the sun,

And it's just a tiny thumb.

It's not anything big.

And also just before when resistance is clearing,

It will come up really strongly.

It will be desperate to keep you back in line.

But if you go along with it,

You will feel secretly ashamed.

Because you know that you're going along with it.

Okay,

This is really important.

You guys,

I could never lie for whatever reason,

You know.

So I couldn't even lie to myself.

It's like,

You know,

I might try to play games and try to get out of evolving,

But then I noticed that I felt shamed.

Right?

And who wants to walk around feeling ashamed?

So I correct.

See,

I think a lot of us,

Like we might try to be good spiritual students,

And we might want to have a relationship with our teacher,

But we're hiding great amounts of shit.

That we're not,

That we're playing all kinds of games that we will be kind of aware of on one level.

We'll know we're doing it.

And the role of the teacher is to like not go along with these games,

Right?

It's like to show that this doesn't work on the spiritual journey.

It doesn't work.

What works is utter sincerity and a very deep yearning.

And we all make mistakes,

And we all start off as corrupt.

It's like,

It's just what we do with it over the decades.

Yeah,

Okay.

So there's a really important thing coming through is you guys all really need to be reminded of your beauty.

And I feel like I don't want to complete until I really have the sense of that you're reminded of your beauty.

Because I'm just like a Sherpa saying,

Oh,

Beware of this chasm.

Beware of this road.

It looks good,

But it's going to lead you in the wrong direction.

Don't do that.

It's what I'm like.

It's all I'm doing.

Yeah,

You're beautiful.

You're beautiful.

I mean,

You know,

Your biggest problem is maybe that you have trouble feeling that.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's it.

That's it.

You're all of you.

Very,

Very beautiful.

Inside and out.

Right.

Right.

Right.

All of you.

Right.

And deeply do I know your energies.

Deeply I do.

And I can say this with a hundred percent honesty.

You're beautiful.

You're exquisite.

Right.

Yeah.

Right.

And you have permission to be true to yourselves.

You have permission to feel your beauty.

Because when you feel your beauty,

It will be easier for you to love and honor yourselves.

You guys.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's the big secret.

Right.

That's it.

That's it.

It's very beautiful feeling of unity.

You know,

May any splits within you just heal just seamlessly and organically.

You know,

The power of unconditional love is invincible.

So,

No ceiling on it.

Don't put any ceiling on what can happen for you.

Yeah.

I remember once I went up years and years ago,

I went up for a question or hug.

And when I spoke,

I didn't feel the love.

I just felt a lot of alienation.

And I came and sat down.

And it was at a retreat in the US.

And I mentioned it to somebody.

And he said,

Bless his dear heart.

And his name was the same as my brother's.

So,

It was kind of metaphor as well.

He said,

Well,

Go up there and tell them.

So,

I'm like,

Okay,

All my conditioning is don't do this.

Don't make a scene.

Don't ask for anything extra.

It was your fault for not getting the love in the first place.

But I didn't want,

Okay,

I didn't want to be left with these feelings of alienation.

Okay.

I didn't want them.

So,

I went up again.

Poor Swamiji.

I go up to him.

And I say,

Whoops.

And I say,

Swamiji,

I didn't feel the love.

I didn't feel the love.

And I'm bursting into tears.

And he goes,

Oh,

Go,

Go,

Go to Amma.

Here,

Go.

He was like trying to get rid of me,

Right?

Like,

Bless his heart.

I mean,

It was all good.

So,

I went up to Amma.

And I said,

I didn't feel the love.

And she said,

I know you didn't.

I could feel you didn't.

And she gave me another hug or whatever,

Do you see?

And it was solved.

Because I loved myself enough to take action,

Do you see?

I didn't want to be left with this alienation.

I knew it was an important time step.

Yeah.

And this gentleman offered his support.

But that's how kind of weedy and vulnerable we are on the journey and how desperate it gets.

And that's just normal,

You guys.

It's just normal.

We get all our early child conditioning coming up.

But Amma takes care of it all.

Our souls take care of it all.

It all gets solved.

Right.

Again,

I'm feeling your beauty.

That's it.

Okay.

Well,

There's just time for one more comment or question if there's one just before we go.

But maybe you guys are just speechless.

I just want to make sure.

Yeah,

Please.

When you were talking about blame,

Can you hear me now?

Yeah.

Good.

I'm talking about blame.

Talking about blame.

And one big takeaway that I've had,

You know,

In the past,

But then again,

Reminded today,

I used to equate responsibility with blame.

Oh,

Right.

It feels so,

Like such a breakthrough to take responsibility for something but not feel like,

Not feel the blame.

Right.

Yeah.

Either like to separate those two concepts.

Yeah,

Because they just always,

They always seem like one in the same.

That if I'm taking responsibility to act on something,

It's because it's all and if.

Right.

So it just feels very freeing,

Very liberating.

Right.

I think that's what the ego does with it.

It's a good point.

Thank you for raising it.

I take all the people who've spoken.

Thank you.

Because it's all bringing clarity.

And that's probably why you,

Part of why you spoke.

It helps bring clarity to the group too on what is meant.

Our ego takes responsibility in a heavy way.

But this way is you see your true nature is your soul.

So for you to embody your soul,

You have to listen to her and respond to her.

And it will bring you joy and feelings of lightness.

Yeah.

And you'll have a peaceful deathbed.

Truly.

If you do your work,

You can die in peace.

Die in joy really.

Phyllis,

Did you?

Okay.

Last week,

Very good.

And that I had,

I was well loved.

I'd had a lot of people who loved me in my life.

And I was able to really feel that and step outside of my normal stuff.

And then last week,

One of my best and oldest friends collapsed all of a sudden in a stroke and never woke up.

She lasted for like six days.

And she was a retired minister,

A real person of God in her life.

And then less than a week later,

Another friend of mine,

Who was very connected with her,

Suddenly nobody had heard from him in five days.

And they did a wellness check on him and he'd been passed out.

Didn't know where he was or anything for five days and came back and he's on dialysis and barely living and fighting,

Fighting everything that's trying to help him.

So,

Death really knocked me for a loop.

These two just in a row in less than a week.

I'm not sure why.

You're not sure why?

Because you're human.

That's why it's knocked you.

Hmm.

Yeah.

So,

What are you doing for yourself with it for it?

I'm praying a lot.

Good.

Yeah,

We're human.

We're going to get knocked.

Because it's the two things happening right on top of each other.

That really threw me off my game,

You know?

Sure.

Sure.

Well,

It would.

And at the same time,

It was the most loving thing the universe could do for you.

Yeah,

This is the broad mind.

Yeah.

So,

Keep praying and I'll speak to Amma about helping you come to resolution about it,

To peace about it.

Okay,

Phyllis?

Thank you.

I'll do.

Yeah,

After the satsang.

Okay.

Okay,

Beautiful ones.

Bless your hearts.

Thank you for turning up week after week.

Because I know it's not always comfortable.

But I'll tell you,

I love you so much.

And I'm just so grateful that you're interested,

You know.

And I didn't get to finish that.

Who knows what dreams may come?

Who knows how,

How much love you're going to end up embodying over the course of your life?

And it doesn't matter how old you are.

Okay?

Who knows?

There's no limits.

There's no ceiling.

Okay.

Okay.

Bless your dear,

Dear hearts.

Yeah.

Bye.

Bye.