It's natural for us to identify as certain things like the one who has to be in control,
The one who has to take care of everyone else,
The one who has to always be right.
These are things that got ingrained in us when we were young or just through a series of circumstances that we started to believe are part of who we are,
But they're not.
And so we want to loosen this up a little bit.
And the first way,
It's going to seem counterproductive,
But it isn't.
Okay.
This is a very powerful technique.
So think about one of those beliefs,
Who you have to be.
I have to be always right.
I have to be right.
I have to have all the answers.
I have to take care of everyone.
Like any of those beliefs are very,
Very common.
If you have that or some other thing that you think I have to whatever,
Fill it in.
That's a belief.
Okay.
So first you list all of the ways that the reasons that that's true.
And yes,
I said true.
Okay.
So I have to be the one who's always right because people are counting on me.
I have to be the one who's right because if I'm wrong,
Things will just fall apart.
I have to be the one who's always right because otherwise I won't get respect.
I mean,
Things like that.
Okay.
Just list every single thing you can think of.
So you're out of answers.
Then you're going to do the next part,
Which is you're going to say sort of an opposite thing.
If I could stop limiting my identity to the one who's always got to be right,
Then I'd feel so much relief.
If I could keep saying this over and over again,
If I could stop limiting myself to the one who has to be right,
Then I could be myself and be human and know that I'm still okay.
Wow.
That's pretty cool.
If I could stop limiting my belief,
My identity to the one who always has to be right,
Then I would feel more like I could be myself.
I mean,
Whatever it is,
You keep going and keep going until you run out of answers because what happens is it starts to weaken your hold on that belief because you start feeling into a new possibility and that new possibility starts to expand and you start feeling like the old belief isn't all the way true,
That there's other ways to be and you can kind of get a sense of what that would be like.
As you lean into the potential of some other possible way of relating,
It becomes real.
It opens the mind and it helps you see that you're not stuck.
This is a really powerful exercise and I want you to really spend time on this today.
Really try it,
Go through it and you will find a big change happening.
