Hello and welcome.
My name is Reuben.
When we're feeling that life is on top of us,
It's normal for us to have even more unhelpful thoughts about our feelings.
Then we're caught up in the mind game of struggling more than necessary.
In other words,
We're caught up in an inner struggle with ourselves.
It's easy to see through the lens of the glass being half empty.
For example,
Looking through the lens of,
I feel bad.
It can feel as though we're always going to think and feel the same way.
And that mindset of now,
Whilst going through a tough time,
We project into the future as though we will be having the same exact mindset in that future.
Let's go to the wisdom of the waves for some more information about this.
So without some inner space,
We tend to struggle with our thoughts and feelings.
It sets us up for inner resistance.
The struggle to feel better.
The struggle to think better.
When we're struggling to think better and feel better,
We are not okay.
Sometimes when we are not okay,
It's because we just need to make room for whatever we're thinking and feeling.
In her book,
Emotional Agility,
Award-winning psychologist,
Researcher and author Suzanne David calls this avoidance the enemy of the good.
And states that our unwillingness to face the discomfort within us is the problem.
Resisting our pain only amplifies it.
We suffer not because life is painful,
But because we resist our pain,
The very thoughts and feelings that we don't want to have.
Here's a well-known formula for this.
Suffering equals pain times resistance.
Suffering equals pain times resistance.
Inner resistance is caused from two things.
Number one,
Buying into or battling the thoughts that pass through our heads.
And number two,
Struggling with our feelings.
In other words,
Not being willing to experience them.
The mind tends to try and think its way out of things.
But then we just stay caught up in the mind,
Which is always judging,
Analyzing,
Comparing,
Contrasting,
Anything and everything.
And when we are not okay,
It's because we just need to allow whatever we're feeling to be processed in a healthy way.
Allowing space for our thoughts and feelings.
But this programming that we have tells us we should feel better.
This can work for us sometimes,
But it also sows a seed in our minds,
A seed of struggle.
Causing us to struggle when we're not feeling okay,
When we're not thinking okay.
What would it look like for us to simply feel whatever it is that's coming up for us?
To feel our feelings simply as feelings,
Simply as energies in motion.
Here's a little strategy that you may find useful.
The conscious release.
If you are willing,
Allow yourself just for a moment to bring to mind this tough situation that you are dealing with.
Something that is causing you maybe a little sadness,
Frustration,
Guilt,
Fear,
Etc.
As this happens,
Engage in the noticing self.
What am I noticing?
Notice the images,
Streams of words that form in your mind.
Notice what energies in motion arise in terms of feelings.
Pleasant,
Unpleasant or neutral.
Notice this energy in motion,
Where it starts,
Where it finishes.
And now,
Clench your fist with your dominant hand.
Feel the tension.
And before you release this,
Feel the tension and choose from the following sentences.
Letting go.
My spiritual growth.
This too will pass.
My life for me right now.
Or anything else that you prefer.
And now you can let go and state your phrase.
Allow yourself to form a half smile,
Just like the Mona Lisa.
Allow space for whatever thoughts and feelings choose to linger as you feel the sense of release with this gentle half smile.
Allowing the space for difficult thoughts and feelings to linger is important.
This is not a distraction technique to move us away from our unwanted thoughts and feelings.
Allowing them to linger,
Dropping the resistance.
The more we do this,
The more we grow through this.
