Are You OK? Adored Or Criticised

Om Shanti,

This is Rose from Brahma Kumaris,

Inner Space,

Glasgow.

Am I going to look at how you adored or criticized?

So do you want to be adored or do you want to be criticized?

Are you comfortable in both these positions,

Truth and the truth?

Do you feel,

How do you feel?

When I know who I am there's a sweet contentment that fills my being and when I get that wonderful feeling of soul awareness I don't feel any competition or anxiety about my own worth.

Am I just being me?

Is just being me good?

If others appreciate me then that's lovely and if not well that's also okay.

The point is I have to appreciate myself.

All of us have to appreciate our own self.

So if I try to prove I'm worthy this can trap me in ego because I'll try so hard to please other people and then I'll be so pleased with myself for having pleased other people they'll be trapped.

We have identities such as I am Scottish,

Indian,

Chinese,

I'm a singer,

An artist,

A teacher,

I'm a daughter,

A mother,

A brother but these labels trap me in a false sense of security.

Everything changes.

So I have to get it into my mind that everything changes nothing stays the same.

An identity which is fixed and unchanging is not realistic.

So these labels can all change.

Suddenly I'm not a singer anymore,

I'm not a teacher anymore,

I'm not a mother anymore and so if I could think like this,

Realize these labels even these labels I want to hold on to and that break my heart they cannot stay fixed.

It's an illusion.

Is it an illusion or ego?

So to be an actor and play the part but not to get trapped and a good checking point is to see whether I get emotional.

So if I lose any of these labels and I get so upset this is a good checking point.

This shows me attachment and ego.

Things I wish were fixed but are changing.

So today in the media big personalities are worshipped and the bigger the ego the more attention,

Adoration or criticism.

So would it be wise to bypass being adored or criticized for a few physical skills,

Talents or attributes?

So I'm oh I'm just so happy because I'm a singer and everyone praises that and then I lose my voice.

It's interesting.

If I attach my worth to temporary characteristics then it will be a wobbly foundation for self-respect and contentment will be impossible.

So meditation and self awareness will help me to experience that I am okay.

I am okay and go beyond the ups and downs of being adored for my skills or criticized for that which think I don't have.

People look at and say well I'm not sure that I like this.

Both of those things are bound to happen actually.

So if I go beyond getting upset by either of these things I can then appreciate everyone and then I can also learn to share my gratitude not because I want them to like me but because it's true.

Now this is rather wonderful.

It frees us from such feelings of dependency and delusion and trying to please other people and trying to make this self what other people want me to be and trying to hold on to what I think was my greatest characteristics.

But there's a time for everything and if they've gone they've gone.

It's something to think about that I'm no longer the mother.

I'm no longer the sister.

I'm no longer the wife.

I'm no longer the singer or the artist.

And so when I can look at that I can simply be me and if others don't like the simple me then that's fine.

It makes me very free.

I'm an actor.

I can accept.

I don't have to please the crowd.

Wow.

I can bow.

Say into the drama.

I can be myself.

Okay.

Enchanté.

So these spiritual ideas make so much sense.

I can see the logic and I can see why the pain comes through ego and attachment but they're also very very challenging because when I start to try and free myself.

Wow.

Why does meditation help me?

Well quite often you may free yourself from being in a certain role but others will not free you from that.

They keep wanting to hold on to you in that role.

So what do you do there?

When I practice meditation and I see my own strength and dignity my real me then that's the way it is and others just have to take or leave it and adjust but you also have to be merciful and that you have to be very sweet and kind and reasonable in your detaching.

You don't just jump away and leave people to flounder wondering what's going on but you need to make it very clear that this is who you are but in a way that they can take because they can't always take you've become a spiritual personality so you need to smile and be friendly.

So is it more just about me not wanting to extract from other people and from those labels so like I don't try and take take take happiness and then I don't blame blame blame for unhappiness but I still play the part.

Yeah but in a lot of cases the other side of the coin couldn't care less whether you played that role or not.

It's you that want the accolade or the appreciation for playing that role.

Others are away doing something else and they're just thinking that's who you are and they're not questioning it and they think you still are that but they were never into it in the first place and they never praised you for it in the first place so they're not missing the fact that you don't play it anymore.

It's you they'll think why are they not appreciating this.

It's I the soul that has to become non-dependent.

It's this wanting to be adored isn't it it's like everybody wants to feel special and somehow if I make people get attached to me I think they think I'm special but quite often as you're saying they're just gonna get a new one.

I think we want to feel that we exist.

Yeah.

If people stop noticing us it's like I don't exist anymore.

It's very delicate and it comes from so many angles and many different forms.

So what's that more spiritual or long-lasting or true sense of self-worth how do I develop that so that I don't fall into the trap that causes so much pain?

I think the more and more I can know who I truly am and what my future is going to be and the benefits that are coming to me now then teach myself to appreciate my good fortune who I am now and what's happening to me now is like incredible and if I could teach that to myself teach myself that I can help others just through my subtle good vibrations of change of attitude and that is the wonder really.

Otherwise I'm not appreciating the changes in myself which are amazing and could only take place through Raja yoga meditation.

So otherwise why am I doing meditation if I don't even appreciate the bonuses and the benefits of what's happening through meditation.

Yes suppose you could only start to take on these ideas with the practice of meditation.

Yeah.

You need that space.

Yeah.

You said the other day that your job is to uplift people is that connected with this whole aspect of self-worth that seemed to be we're talking about fortune and how lucky I am and is that how you develop true self-respect a feeling of like adoring the true self through understanding your role of upliftment.

Yeah upliftment is not as wondrous as it sounds and yet more wonderful than we understand because you can work uplifting people forever and they never seem to get uplifted but at the same time you are subtly having a beneficial effect but if you sort of put all your emotions into what is the outcome here how can I see what's happening here then you'll be daunted you'll feel that it's not working but it will be working and today we were hearing that we're like a wireless our vibrations are like a wireless and I was seeing that whatever we inculcate in ourselves that's good is in ourselves it's in ourselves we've put it there and whatever we then put out we can put it out through our energy through a smile through good wishes through lightness of spirit we put it out and so the putting out is like the wireless putting out the good that's already in us and if I can keep remembering that I'm keeping putting out through the wireless of my intellect then whatever it'll be touching the whole world I don't know the whole world I don't see who are having the effect of this but there will be and the souls that are being affected by whatever I put out will be in connection connection sorry with me for a long long time and so it's people that I love that will be being touched that keeps me motivated I have to keep putting good stuff out there I can see then that it is about that real pure love and real deep caring it's not a coldness this practice that you're describing it's really really cherishing yourself and others and others yeah deeply so I like the phrase I am okay I find that very very soothing okay is a very powerful expression I'm okay when I think like that I feel I am okay good bad or whatever I'm okay because I'm dealing with I'm sorting out I'm fine I'm doing fine I'm okay it's very powerful so very simple very powerful keep telling the self is reassuring I'm okay finally could you just say something about everything changes because you're saying I am okay is very reassuring everything changes sometimes that feels very unsettling actually sometimes it's okay sometimes it feels unsettling so this awareness that everything changes everything has to change because you wake up in the morning the weather's different the people around you're acting different everything changes all the time and funnily enough we have this little habit I don't want it to change I want it to be the same and I want it to be the way I want it to be so yesterday I thought this and I thought that maybe tomorrow it'll be this and then it's not because it's changed and that can be quite daunting because we think why is it changed what's happened there but usually change is very subtle until it reaches a kind of climax and it has definitely changed and at that point we think what happened what can I do but that time you can't do anything because if the change was slow and subtle and definite moving in a different direction and then we get a shock and then we can have fear and then we can have a feeling of loss but by which time it has changed but the drama changes because time changes and we moved from one age to another age to another age to another age and we changed we're not the same as we were ten years ago twenty years ago we changed so everyone else changes and everything else changes the world has changed dramatically in ten years dramatically and it was slow and you didn't notice it so much ten years ago and now you see it now it's changes changes are faster is there any thing that doesn't change the one above the divine the supreme soul the father the father knows it's all got to change and that's why we practice meditation because when we practice meditation we focus on the one that never changes the one that's stable ocean a peace love and bliss and who encourages us to be the same to say no matter what happens stays stable in your original religion of peace love and happiness I'm chanting I'm chanting so we sit down to meditate and do our best to go into a stillness inside and if I can think of myself as the energy in the center of the forehead and focus on my own inner peace and stillness and think that everyone in the world is a soul and think of the one above who's the father of all souls and remember over and over I'm a point of living energy I saw the life the life energy that moves this body around and it's up to I the soul to understand I the soul and look at the different roles that I play as the soul in the body when I know who I am there is contentment and sweetness fills my being and I can get that wonderful feeling of awareness of the soul and then I don't feel any competition or anxiety about my worth just being me is good and if others appreciate me then that's okay if not that's also okay so if I try to prove that I'm worthy this can trap me in ego I am Scottish Indian Chinese a singer artist teacher or I'm a doctor a mother a brother these labels trap me in a false sense of security everything changes identity which is fixed and unchanging it's not realistic it's an illusion or ego so play the part of being an actor but don't get trapped it's good to have a look to see when I get emotional this can show me attachments ego things I wish were fixed but are changing today big personalities are worshipped and the bigger the ego the more attention adoration or criticism so would it be wise to bypass being adored or criticized for a few physical skills talents and attributes so Raja yoga teaches me that if I attach my worth to temporary characteristics then it will be a very wobbly foundation for my own self-respect and contentment respect for myself be impossible I can appreciate everyone and also learn to share my gratitude not because I want them to like me but because it is true and the truth is that all of us serve points of living life energy a soul and as we play our part everything is changing it isn't fixed I can remember the one above and appreciate my own strength and my own characteristics this also teaches me to appreciate the strengths and characteristics of others and the different roles that everyone plays nothing is fixed everything changes a soul the life energy in the center of the forehead a soul the life energy you and if I can think of myself as the energy in the center of the forehead and focus on my own inner peace and stillness and think that everyone in the world is a soul and think of the one above who's the father of all souls and remember over and over I am a point of living energy a soul the life the life energy that moves this body around and it's up to I the soul to understand I the soul and look at the different roles that I play as the soul in the body and remember over and over I'm a point of living energy a soul all changing you