Building Trust

I'm Shanti.

So welcome to Soul to Soul.

My name's Rose from the Brahma Kamares in Glasgow and what we're going to talk about is building trust.

I'm sure we'll all be very familiar with some of the points we're going to discuss.

To trust others and others to trust me is to be reliable and dependable and to be honest and if I make a promise to do everything to fulfill that promise,

To be capable and respectful.

So trust is a powerful and precious thing.

Now life comes and makes things awkward so but if I've made a promise and it becomes impossible for some reason I have to talk about it and I have to say I'm sorry about that but this is what happened but here's what I'm going to do.

So you've communicated because we cannot sort of be put on a leash and have to perform because the drama can bring all sorts of obstacles in our paths and we can feel hurt if someone lets us down and especially if they never bring the topic up and they don't discuss it with me they just let it go then I don't have trust.

I don't trust if that person tells me something again.

I think oh well let's see.

So things happen in so many different ways and if we can feel guilty if we betray someone by gossiping about them then in a way I have betrayed their trust in me or if I'm not fulfilling responsibilities or if someone isn't fulfilling their responsibilities that we've agreed on.

If for instance there's a work situation and there's a commitment to do the job so we're very trustworthy in the work that we do but maybe there's not very good relationships so I will maybe not trust the person but I trust my ability to do the job for instance but if I'm not doing things from my heart because I feel not too comfortable in the relationships that I'm having then it's a very limited form of trust.

Whenever there's an out from that responsibility I probably would take it because I'm not comfortable.

So I need to look at myself all the time in these situations.

Sincerity,

Am I sincere?

Does sincerely sincerely want something to work?

Does sincerely sincerely treasure the friendship or the relationship with someone?

Because sincerity is a wonderful quality and when I practice meditation and I'm aware that I'm a soul,

Soul awareness helps me to understand the story of my own energy.

How I maybe don't trust situations,

How I'm daunted by certain things,

How it's quite easy to not fulfill an obligation with an excuse.

If I can see that in myself I need to think because others can also see it and they will not feel they trust me.

Never mind me trusting them,

They will not trust me.

Positive ways of thinking will give me strength and the most positive way that I can think is to think in terms of being peaceful.

Peace gives me strength.

So if I can practice meditation and practice being peaceful because it's time for me to make a commitment to myself.

I need to look at myself.

Do I fulfill my promises or do I just think well I can't do that now so I'm too bad and maybe I don't give an explanation I just let it go.

So then I want something important done and something comes along but I wonder why it's not working because I have betrayed the trust so I should look at not betraying my own self before I look at others and not to sabotage my own image that which I'm putting out to others with a big smile and a big yes yes yes and yet I don't do it.

So am I using my time and thoughts wisely to uplift the self and others and in this can I really trust myself?

It's really interesting actually to just look at the habits that we may have and that we've developed.

So how can I then be a better manager of my own energy and of course again it's meditation.

I can't manage my energy if I don't know how my energy works.

If I can see that I have a habit of having big plans and big agreements but thinking it's okay if I can't do it because something came up but there's always a way to make things work so I need to be creative.

So am I really using my time and thoughts wisely and can I really trust my own self?

Have I allowed myself to be crushed or deflated and defeated or weak?

So I get a bit fed up and think what's the point or I'm daunted by this and therefore it's not my fault,

It was life's fault not mine but I have to do my best to still fill in the gaps and I can do that by connection and sharing.

And in life and I'm sure we've all discovered this it's most unlikely that two people will have the same ideas and agree.

It's most unlikely.

So for that we really do have to talk and communicate and decide what's going to work and what isn't going to work and be very very flexible with another soul,

Very flexible.

We have to look and see if we can decide to make positive changes or agree to some kind of plan as to what we might do.

And so that's the difficult bit actually because it's usually an interaction with others but to be aware of myself and aware of the pitfalls and aware of how tricky it is to always fulfill your agreements and your promises but we know what it's like when people don't fulfill what they said they would do because you've maybe created a whole program for that and then they've moved away from it so it's like hmm so we have to learn to understand and to know that these things happen and be understanding and that way I can become stable in a very unsteady situation because I'm focused on my own energy and I make it clear to others that there are boundaries like we have to have some connection to say this isn't working and give us plenty of time if possible to put in the changes.

There has to be connection and so if I cannot actually connect and have that kind of relationship it's difficult for that trust to be shared I could maybe trust myself that I can handle the situation and I can handle and understand what's happening to others but it's very difficult to come together and create anything and life's about creating.

That's what everything in the world has been created so I can draw lines and create structures I can do all this I can be calm and clear I am cool calm and very definite but I can't draw lines and create structures that's been agreed on and others don't agree.

So there have to be boundaries and it has to be look here you have to let me know that this is difficult and then together put our heads together and maybe we can find a solution here but otherwise it's just like big ideas big ideas big ideas that are coming to nothing and we might find in some situations that other people might ignore me but I just keep expressing myself as I need to because I can't change others so I have to keep being trusting and understanding and clear and trying to connect and bring out the best and so that people will start to trust themselves actually.

I cannot change others but the secret is to develop trust in your own habits and patterns if you know that you're liable to let someone down even when you're making the promise this is well to say look maybe this won't happen to be honest.

So it's for us also to understand that when others are not self-aware they're going to keep saying what they think you want to hear but they have never got the least slightest intention that it means they have to do it because they're used to not doing it and if I can understand that I realize I need to just give good energy to that soul and smile and say it's okay and make them feel fine about everything and maybe slowly slowly maybe they'll learn to trust me and I can learn to know that somewhere inside they have a good heart.

So the secret actually is to work on our manners and clear communication from the perspective of a sincere heart.

Don't break the trust of others so whatever you can do whatever you can do to keep it online to keep it trust to keep the trust going to keep everything moving in a healthy way it's okay if things don't work out actually to remember that it's fine it's not a restrictive great big thing that we have to jump and do it's to do with relationship and so if people start to understand that you're understanding their energy levels because their energy levels might not always be high but they would like them to be so you don't put pressure on souls who are feeling not so good you can't force them into doing what you think should be done.

So don't break the trust of others let them feel it's okay that you understand I think to understand yourself and others is one of the most important things and I can really learn to trust myself because I am a soul and I'm a child of the one above the one above like a notion of love the one above has understood all my faults and weaknesses and times when I had no strength and there's a question here does it create a burden on others if I put my trust all my trust in them yeah it does I mustn't put all my trust it's like putting a huge big weight onto someone's shoulders it has to be shared it is a partnership I need to be myself trustworthy and I have to keep up my side and hope that others or give them the strength or have the understanding as to whatever they're at at least something is happening there that's good and take the good and hope that at some point in the future the good will build and become stronger but I cannot put a burden of all my trust on someone's shoulders so how do I build up trust in myself well I think for me the secret of this is that I need to see but I don't always feel like doing what was agreed because it might be that circumstances in life come along and you think gosh how can we do that but I never knew this was going to come a timetable now this is impossible but I have to communicate that and find out a different way a different time how can we reschedule this what can we do and actually ask the other person for their understanding and support give them the power to help decide and see if it can be worked out and find another timescale so this way I can build up trust in myself because I can see that I'm not daunted but I'm not being forced to do something I'm not taking on a burden that I'm becoming more flexible and I can see the obstacles that came in front of me now when I see that I can understand the obstacles that come in front of others and it gives me when I start to look at myself gives me great understanding of others so if I want to learn to have trust to be someone that someone would trust to trust others it starts with seeing myself and how life comes along and changes all these big promises and these big plans and you've already you know plighted your truth if you like and made a big decision and a big promise but how are you going to fulfill it so you have to learn to connect with whoever and come to another agreement not just to shove it to the side and say oh well that's too bad do I need to have trust in God I would say absolutely because where am I going to get my strength I need the strength to know that I am a soul who has strength and what's my life all about what's the journey of life it's to be in harmony with others it's the value and importance of the connection of being with others and to be with them as best I can with as much trust as I can manage to muster in myself I will then understand how to have that trust in others and then I would say what would help me to understand others better okay if I can understand myself because none of us are perfect and if I think that I know and I've made the rules and we've agreed and boom boom boom and I go down that track oh nothing good will come out of that what will come out will be that I have to have a look at myself how don't it have I been from time to time with not being able to fulfill an obligation and so thereby I can have trust in myself and know that I have to give that trust over to others and have the faith that others are totally capable of becoming their own self to whatever extent they wish to become their own selves okay I'm shanty do we have a question yeah there's one online but I'll ask you a quick one first seem to keep coming back to trusting the self as being key so when I start the journey and I begin to realize actually there's so many bad habits I need to change how do I support myself in order to build that trust because actually I realize quite quickly I can't fully trust myself that's the problem that's why I don't trust others and it does take time to make those changes until I can start to feel I can really trust my energy I can really trust myself to make the best or better decisions so even if I let myself down or how do I support myself on that journey especially when I'm starting off because when I when I do meditation and I look sincerely at myself I can see how much I've been leaning on others for support and I start to make plans and in my mind I make plans using others strength as my support and they don't even know anything about it but in my mind I've made plans of how much they're going to support me and how strong they are and how they know to do this and they know how to do that and I don't know how to do it and if I keep thinking like that then when I meet the others they haven't been inside my head and they're not prepared to be taken on board that which I then absolutely assume that they can fulfill for me which is why if I have faith in the one above that is my support and I can talk about my plans to the one above and in reality I'll feel a sort of sensibility coming to myself and I'll realize that first I have to look at myself and then see if others will come into that relationship with me.

I'm a shanty.

I like when you said about communication being key too like things can change but the really important thing is to connect,

Communicate and allow the other person to dialogue with you so that it's not that I'm not fulfilling things but I'm not just shelving them or lying but I'm saying okay this may not be able to happen because of whatever reason but I'm just letting you know and sort of opening it up that's helpful to know that process.

Yeah that's an absolutely critical process I think that because it brings us into a stage of equality and we're all not equal in that we all do the same job or think in the same way but we have an equal right and an equal power and strength to be able to think and you know we don't want to be bossed by another one we've had enough of that because spirituality is the key to freedom.

Online someone was saying there seems to be like areas of trust so I may trust somebody in certain areas and maybe in other areas feel not so that they're not so trustworthy and the same with myself so it's a bit like looking at specialities there might be some areas that I feel that I'm doing quite well and overcoming things and other areas where I'm still not so strong.

Do you think that's a good way of looking at it?

I think that's a good way of looking at it and I think and become more and more aware of the areas in ourselves that are not so strong and then if I see the areas and someone else that are not so strong I'm not going to put all the eggs into that basket if you like because it's as if I'm going to set it up for non-success but I just very carefully would think what to do in these circumstances.

Those are vegan eggs of course.

Of course.

Okay I have a minute of meditation.

Om Shanti.

Bringing the energy to the centre of the forehead.

Remembering I'm the soul,

The point of living life energy.

Sincerity is a wonderful quality and to be aware of being a soul helps me to understand my energy.

To become peaceful the energy of peace gives me the strength to see more and more clearly.

Using my time and my thoughts wisely this uplifts myself and encourages me to understand others better and to decide what positive changes that I myself can make.

I cannot change others but I can understand more and more when others are not aware and to look at our manners and our ways of interaction and have a sincere and loving heart and remember I'm a child of the ocean of love.

Om Shanti.