Impermanence

Okay,

So welcome everybody.

How are you all doing?

We did win.

It's true.

I was actually today in Boston at the parade.

So you didn't see me?

I was right there.

So yeah,

I think there was a million people in Boston today.

Four times more than the Woman's March,

Go figure.

Yeah so it was really cool,

It was beautiful,

It was cold.

Snowy then slushy,

Then ticker tape everywhere,

Then lots of people screaming,

Lots of people drinking,

Lots of funny events happening.

And it was really cool for me to kind of be in the city for something like that.

I don't know if it's because I've been away for so long,

But I guess just being from Boston I was like yeah,

I'm entitled to say yes,

This is my team that won.

So yeah,

It was really beautiful,

Really exciting.

And when I got home I kind of felt like I had just returned from a war zone a little bit.

I was just exhausted,

Dripping wet.

I sat down,

I was like oh my god,

It feels so good to sit down after all that,

Be quiet.

And also I had this really,

Really interesting moment while I was,

It was kind of this very surreal moment I think.

So I was sitting there,

Standing there,

This crowd of people,

Everyone's around.

And the duck boats were going by with the Patriots on them,

Bill Belichick's duck boat went by and Tom Brady's duck boat went by.

I think it was just after the Gronk duck boat went by that they shot from a cannon all of the ticker tape.

And it was a really cool moment,

Right,

So it's kind of like little snowy,

Flurry kind of stuff.

And then just this wall of red and blue confetti kind of coming from the sky.

And I'd only seen stuff like that I think when I saw old World War II,

When they came back from World War II kind of things.

I don't know why that's what came into my mind,

Was just a city-wide celebration and these people on tank looking devices going through the city and everyone cheering ticker tape everywhere.

So I don't know why I felt like World War II,

That soldiers arriving home kind of feeling.

And I had this really surreal moment where I kind of realized like,

Wow,

These eyes have seen a lot of things.

It just kind of came up,

These eyes have seen a lot of things.

It was actually funny because I showed Shannon a video that I made and she looked at my phone and she's like,

This phone has been through a lot because I brought this phone to India and to Australians.

So my phone has been across the Himalayas and all this stuff.

It's a little iPhone 4.

But I guess everywhere the iPhone's been,

I've been too and probably more so.

And it reminded me of actually something that the Buddha once spoke about,

That one of the main disciples of the Buddha was actually passing away.

This was a Nata Pandika,

So this was one of the main,

What's the word,

Somebody who gives a lot,

Like beneficiary,

What would the word be of somebody who,

A benefactor,

Benevolent.

So he bought the first monastery for the Buddha,

He bought the first grounds for them to build the monastery for the moms.

And he kind of really gave,

He was very rich,

He was very wealthy.

His name even symbolized how he gave a lot to the poor and he really helped a lot of people and it's really kind of amazing because one day somebody was coming past and Nata Pandika,

He said to them,

Where are you going?

And they said,

I'm going to go see the Buddha.

And Nata Pandika's like,

The Buddha?

What's the Buddha?

Who's the Buddha?

And they said,

The fully awakened one.

And Nata Pandika,

It's in the story,

He almost feels very childlike in this,

He's like,

Can I come too?

Like suddenly he's really excited.

So he travels to the place where the Buddha is and it was kind of getting nighttime so they said eventually,

You'll have to wait until tomorrow,

The Buddha's,

It's nighttime so he'll come back tomorrow.

So he kind of was waiting,

I think they were staying somewhere near the forest or in the forest and Nata Pandika,

He got so excited,

He couldn't sleep and he kind of got out of his hut and started walking through the forest in the dark towards where the Buddha was and he got afraid and he turned back.

Again he was waiting,

He got really excited and he tried again and he kind of became afraid and went back and then finally he kind of went and he came across,

He finally came across the Buddha doing walking meditation in the jungle.

He saw the Buddha prostrated at his feet and he said to the Buddha,

Can I have you over for a meal?

This is what they do.

So in India for a lot of the ascetics,

A lot of the spiritual teachers is they have them come to their house and they offer them a meal and a place to stay.

So Nata Pandika was granted this request,

The Buddha said yes,

I will come and whatever,

Three days time,

Five days time,

I don't know what it was.

So Nata Pandika was really excited and he kind of starts going home and along the way everywhere he said the Buddha is going to come in three days,

Everyone be ready.

As he was going home spreading the word down this long road through all these towns,

I don't know how long his trip was,

Maybe even days,

Really excitedly he gets home and starts making preparations and he passes the park of this one prince,

Prince Jeta.

And this is like the prince's pleasure grove,

Right?

So it's this really big,

Beautiful,

Green,

Lush kind of grove,

There's peacocks walking around,

It's kind of like water and it's this really amazing kind of beautiful tropical like resort park almost.

And Nata Pandika said,

I want to buy that for the Buddha,

I want to have it.

So he said,

He found Prince Jeta and he said,

How much for your park?

And Prince Jeta kind of laughed and he said,

Yeah,

You know,

If you cover it with gold,

That much gold.

And Nata Pandika said,

Okay,

I could do that.

And he went and he cleared all of his treasure stocks and he laid gold coins end to end and covered the park.

And Prince Jeta was so moved by what he saw,

By the devotion of his man,

That he said,

Okay,

Okay,

You can take the park and I'll even build a big beautiful entranceway for you just because I'm so moved by your devotion I now also want to offer something.

So they built this,

It's called Jetavana Grove and this is the first place for the monks that was ever given to the monks,

To the Sangha.

And eventually they had to write the first monastery there,

Jeta's Grove.

So a lot of the teachings from the Buddha,

They take place in this grove,

Jetavana Grove.

And throughout,

You know,

A lot of the Buddhist canon,

A lot of the stories,

There's many,

Many interactions between Nata Pandika and the Buddha and he's really his,

You know,

Greatest follower,

All these things and eventually when he was dying,

He was passing away,

He was sick.

The Buddha was somewhere so the Buddha,

You know,

He wasn't able to attend the death bed of Nata Pandika.

And I believe he sent one of his disciples,

Shri Putra,

Kind of with the teaching.

And something along the lines of,

He sat by him and he said,

You know,

These eyes,

These eyes that you're looking through,

These eyes have seen many forms.

These ears have heard many sounds,

This body has felt a lot,

This mind has experienced a lot.

All things come and all things go.

None of them were yours,

None of them belong to you,

None of them are you.

Pretty much just saying,

All of these sensory organs,

Our mind,

Our hearts,

All of these things are coming and they're going,

They're coming and they're going.

But that's it,

They come and they go,

They come and they go,

It's not me,

It's not mine,

You can't keep that stuff.

It doesn't belong to you and it's just this nature that things come in and they go out.

And kind of by the end of this Nata Pandika,

He started sobbing,

He said,

This is the most beautiful,

Clear teaching I've ever received.

And then kind of with that he passed away and then in the Buddhist canon they also say that he right away went to a heaven realm and suddenly reborn and the angels of radiant splendor and then immediately arrived back and bowed in front of the Buddha and monks who were able to see different energies were like,

Buddha,

What is this shining being in front of you?

He's like,

That's Nata Pandika,

He passed away and with his teaching he shot all the way up to this high heaven realm and just came down to pay respects and say goodbye and thank you.

So in Buddhism there's the rebirth and you can go through the different levels.

Like in Christianity and Judaism you can go to heaven or hell.

In Buddhism you could also be a ghost or an animal.

But that's not it,

That's not the end of the story.

Once your time is done in those realms then you can come back and you can also be a person again,

You can be something else.

There's this whole traversing from one place to the other again and again.

Again lots of things coming,

Going,

You go through a lot but none of it's your final resting place,

None of it's really yours.

And so when I was sitting there,

Standing there in this ticker tape parade,

There's music playing,

There's people pushing and jumping and drinking and Tom Brady waving this whole thing.

And it was,

Yeah,

So this is really amazing moment where I kind of just looked around and it was just this really powerful feeling of these eyes,

These eyes have seen many things.

And in that moment I was totally present and at the same time I totally knew in a couple hours this is not going to be real anymore and there's going to be something else.

And when I was in the monastery I actually wrote a poem one day.

I think I was reflecting on the same thing.

It's a very,

Very,

Very short poem and I wrote,

Allow the world to touch your heart,

To feel a pain it cannot stop,

To feel a beauty it cannot keep,

Allow the world to touch your heart to allow your heart to be set free.

And it was really this experience that the heart feels beauty and pain.

That was somehow this experience I had that the heart just feels beauty and pain on different levels.

It's about beauty and pain.

And sometimes we try not to feel some pain because it's too painful or we think it's going to destroy us or we don't want to accept it.

And I noticed for myself,

So I'd be watching these beautiful sunsets in the forest in Germany just over,

All alone,

And I realized that it was painful for me,

Strangely.

I don't know if anyone else feels this,

But it was so painful,

As beautiful as it was,

The intensity of the beauty was equal to the pain I felt that A,

I couldn't share it with somebody else,

That it was just kind of like,

That was just,

Like I felt there was other people that really needed to see this right now.

But also to know that it's going to kind of come and go,

Like I can't keep it,

I wanted it to stay,

I wanted more of that,

I really,

And I kind of suddenly had this feeling that my heart,

It's always either chasing beauty,

Trying to hold onto,

Pull in,

Create,

Get,

Keep,

Keep,

This idea of keeping,

Holding,

Beauty,

Or it's trying to get away from pain,

Trying to not feel things,

Trying to move it away.

And when you've really deeply realized how things are always changing,

How these eyes have seen a lot,

This body has felt a lot,

We've all been through a lot,

We've all been through unimaginable sorrows and unimaginable beauty,

And probably right now at this very moment a lot of us have a lot of sorrow and a lot of beauty in our lives as well.

And that's also going to run its course in whichever way,

And it's always just kind of moving.

And ultimately,

If we really knew that,

If we really knew that,

Would we not keep ourselves fully open to be present in all that we experience,

To really fully be present in our lives with an open heart,

To really feel it,

And to not be afraid of anything,

To not be afraid of the pain,

And likewise,

To not be afraid of losing the beauty.

I think there's people that are actually afraid to feel really happy also in some ways.

Exactly,

If you feel that,

Then what happens if I never feel that again?

And this would allow our hearts to find this place of freedom,

That you'd really be fearless,

You'd be unshakable,

You'd feel everything that comes in regardless.

So this idea of change,

Of impermanence,

Of temporariness,

Of our situation.

In Buddhism,

This is one of the core tenets.

And this again,

So for me Buddhism,

It's not a religion in the sense of,

I didn't take it as a dogmatic belief.

There wasn't so much that was told to me that said,

This is now your new truth,

You believe this.

It's more that they say,

Go reflect on change.

So I was given an assignment,

Kind of,

Go reflect on change.

And after reflecting on change for long enough,

I said,

Change is the only thing that there is.

Everything,

The universe is expanding,

It's probably going to collapse again.

Every particle,

All the molecules,

All the electrons,

On the microcosm,

On the macrocosm,

Wherever you look,

Everything is changing.

You look in nature,

Everything is changing.

It's the only truth that I could actually find was the truth of change.

And it's not even the truth of birth and death,

Because also birth and death are bullshit,

If you really think about it.

If you,

Thich Nhat Hanh once very poignantly said,

If you take a piece of paper and you burn it,

He says it doesn't go away.

He said it transforms,

That paper becomes smoke,

And it becomes ash,

And it becomes light,

And it becomes heat,

And it becomes gases.

So nothing,

That paper didn't go away,

That paper just changed.

He said one could even say that that paper now has five new,

Like,

Rebirths.

That paper is now reborn as ash,

It is reborn as smoke,

It is reborn as light,

So it's now all these new things,

It's become all these new things.

And if you trace that paper back in time,

Where did that paper begin?

Was that when the lumberjack was cutting down the tree to make that paper?

Or was it the sandwich the lumberjack's wife prepared for him in the morning?

So if you take that piece of paper,

Is that paper the lumberjack?

Is it his wife?

Is it the truck he drove?

Because without those things,

There'd be no paper in your hand.

Or is it the sun?

Or is it the rain?

Or the seed?

The tree that dropped the seed before it.

And when you start to trace things back,

You also can get to the place where you see there's no real beginning for something.

There's no place that it actually started.

So actually,

When this election happened,

And everybody was really crazy about this election,

How could this happen?

Right away,

I just looked at it and I said,

Well,

This election didn't just happen.

The causes and conditions that created this election had been building up for many,

Many,

Many,

Many years.

This is now the expression of something,

But the wheels were set in motion long ago.

And somebody actually asked the Dalai Lama,

He said,

So Tibet has been taken by China,

There's this big war.

He said,

Ultimately,

Was this a good or bad thing for the Tibetan people?

And the Dalai Lama said,

Too early to tell.

And this is,

You know,

40 years after,

50 years after it happened.

And he still says,

Too early to tell.

That's wisdom.

Because he says,

Yeah,

It's still to be seen,

Still going.

We don't know.

So when the Buddha spoke about this as one of these main reflections,

He said,

It's called the,

In one of his stories,

It's the simile of the elephant's footprint.

Because he said,

Of all the footprints,

These monks,

They spent a lot of time in the jungles and the forests of India,

Really like living on the land.

So they used sometimes nature similes like this.

So he said,

If you go in nature and you see the footprints,

He said,

Reflecting on change,

On change,

On how things are coming and going,

He said,

That's like the elephant's footprint.

He said,

Just as the footprint of the elephant is the greatest footprint you'll find in the jungle,

And just as all the other footprints can fit within the footprint of the elephant,

He said the same way,

The reflection on change,

The reflection on impermanence,

The reflection on temporariness,

He said,

That's like the elephant's footprint for your mind.

He said that if you can really understand this,

If you can really see how essential,

How basic,

How elemental,

How integral change,

Transformation,

Movement is to everything around you,

Your whole life,

Your whole experience,

How you cannot even separate those things,

That they are the same thing,

That all we experience is change,

Change from one to the next,

Change and change every moment,

Moment to moment,

Change.

He said if you can really experience that fully,

This is kind of like one of the greatest boons you can have,

One of the greatest realizations that you can make,

Actually,

Because once you've realized that,

You know,

How easy is it just to let go?

How easy could you really be at peace?

The more you learn how to let go just to accept,

To be present,

Then there's no problems anymore.

We stop holding on.

Jack Kornfield said very poignantly,

When you hold on too much in life,

You get something called rope burn,

Right?

So it's like you're trying to hold on and things keep changing.

So imagine you're holding this rope and it's being pulled out of your hands because it's snow,

Sorry,

It's going to keep changing and you want it to stay,

But it keeps changing and it hurts.

And actually if you reflect on all the hurts,

All the sorrows,

All the pains of your life,

And of course there's some actual pains like,

You know,

If you punch me in the leg,

That's a physical pain,

Right?

But a lot of the pains that we experience in life,

Especially the emotional pains,

The mental pains,

If you really look deeply at them,

You'll probably be able to see that a lot of these come from A,

Because you're getting something you didn't want to get,

Something's coming that you don't want,

You don't want to accept that,

You don't want that to be the reality right now.

Or there is something you want,

But you're not getting that thing,

That's not like that.

And more often than not,

It's something that,

There's something we want that's not happening or something we don't want that we are getting.

And it's really that simple,

Actually,

It's that simple,

Like,

For the next time in your life,

Even if it's today,

If you're sitting,

Even if you're sitting here right now and you're suffering,

Really look and say to yourself,

Like,

What is it that I'm not accepting about the reality of this moment?

What is it that I'm not accepting?

You know,

Is somebody sick that I want to be better?

Am I sick that I want to be better?

The room's cold,

I want it to be warm,

It's snowing,

I want it to be sunny,

I'm in Massachusetts,

I want to be in Florida.

What is it?

And you'll generally see that on some level you're at war,

You're at odds with reality,

With the present moment.

And again,

This isn't about being completely passive,

It's not passive and everything,

Because we are also co-creators,

We also act,

We are actors,

We also do things in our life,

We create things,

So of course there's also a very active element to our lives,

You have to also do,

Do things,

Right?

But to really look clearly and see that so much of our suffering is actually our own response to what's going on.

To our own inability to let things in,

To not see that that is also part of everything.

To see that it all belongs.

Joseph Campbell has a quote that I completely forget,

But it has something to do with how one is not fit to live in this world if they're not able to accept and to make peace with,

I think he said something like the divine chaos or the divine catastrophe and the catastrophic divinity or something,

So there wasn't those exact words,

But about how those two,

Both of those things exist,

The beauty and the pain,

They exist and they exist in everything.

And in each of us,

Even though some people like to focus more on one part or the other,

Or show one part than the other,

A lot of us like to show,

Like,

Oh I'm a very beautiful,

Good person,

We like to show something,

And then it creates the tension because actually there's something back here that's not,

You know.

I tell you,

As a monk,

So I was a monk for eight years,

You can imagine what people projected on me as a monk and thought that I should be this great,

Holy,

Whatever person.

Think I should always be there for them,

Oh Seth,

Can you come,

I need someone to talk to.

And I said,

No,

I can't,

I'm exhausted,

I'm gonna go and sit in my room.

What do you mean?

You're a monk,

You're supposed to always be there for people,

No.

You're so selfish.

And I was like,

Yeah,

Yeah.

Yeah,

I love myself,

I need to do things for me,

Sure.

And then they,

You know,

All this stuff,

All this dark kind of negativity,

Because you're not there for me,

Right?

Yeah,

Or I'd get angry at them,

Right?

Someone says to me,

I get angry,

You're a monk,

What do you mean?

How are you angry you're a monk?

Because I'm a person,

Right?

And I think the problem is when we see people in only their perfection,

And also if we see people only in their negativity,

Right?

Both of these are actually problems.

Because a lot of us like to do also that opposite,

We love to demonize,

We love to turn that outwards and attack outwards and put all that stuff outwards to not have to see it in ourselves,

Right?

That we feel higher when someone else is lower,

Right?

It's a really easy way to elevate your position for the ego is to bring somebody else's position down.

If you can't get up,

Those people that are having a bad day,

They bring everyone else down so they feel better,

Right?

So I think for today's class,

For today's meditation,

For the time that we're here together,

Maybe we'll do a sitting,

Then I can answer some questions on meditation maybe if anyone has,

And then we'll do a walking and then another sitting.

But for the remainder of that,

For the remainder of the class today,

And hopefully even for the remainder of the week,

I don't know if I can give you guys impulses for the whole week to reflect on,

And then by next class,

I don't know,

Maybe you'll be enlightened or something.

But for the remainder of this class,

To really try to be present with yourself,

With your experience,

And to really see in your heart what is it in this moment or even in my life,

In the bigger sense of things.

Is there anything that I'm actually fighting against?

Is there anything that I don't accept?

Is there anything I'm trying to change or bring in?

Is there anything that I'm not accepting?

I think the teacher in Asagada,

He said,

The problem isn't that you want too much.

So the problem isn't that you want too much.

The problem is that you don't want enough.

Because imagine if you wanted the pain,

If you wanted the sadness,

If you wanted the grief,

If you wanted every single thing that you experienced,

If you wanted that,

There'd be no problem.

So it's like a little bit of a shift of perception there,

Right?

So what if you actually play that game in your own heart,

In your own mind,

And say,

I want it,

Give it to me.

Let me experience fully my life.

Give me the whole thing,

The full spectrum.

Let me be present.

Let me feel that.

And let me know that my heart is indestructible,

That you give me the biggest pain and I'm still here.

And then you give me the biggest beauty and I'll see that it also fades away.

And to know ultimately,

Things keep changing,

We keep going.

And that's really how you find peace.

So a lot of people think that peace has to be happy.

But peace isn't actually necessarily the happy or the sad.

Peace is more knowing that happy and sad are cycling through like day and night,

Like seasons,

Like temperatures,

Like things come and go,

Right?

The happy and the sad.

And peace is really being able to be present with both.

And when you're really able to be present with both,

Then a deeper thing sets in,

A deeper equanimity sets in,

Where you start to get peaceful.

And peaceful is something outside of the realm of happy and sad.

Happy and sad are these temporary emotional things that come up and touch your mind.

But this deeper peace,

This is born out of wisdom,

This is born out of experience.

This is a deeper relationship to reality,

To your inner and outer reality.

So ultimately,

That's the direction this practice should lead you in,

Right?

So it's not just about coming here,

Sitting,

Breathing,

Relaxing,

Then jumping back in your car,

Turning on music,

Eating potato chips and driving home,

Right?

It's about slowly marinating in these understandings,

These realizations.

And they start to really sink into the core of our being,

Really sink into our hearts on a deep level that they really transform us,

Right?

And that we really can start finding peace in all of life's situations,

Not just when we're happy,

Not just when things are going well,

But to really start to find that peace wherever we are,

Whatever we're doing.

So this can be like a background reflection for today's class as we practice.

So we can get into our sitting positions.