1:00:07

The Liberating Promise of Radical Inclusivity

by Singhashri

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This talk goes with the meditations titled Radical Inclusivity and Heart Connection. How can we open to all of ourselves and, by implication, others?

InclusivityJusticeBelongingAuthenticitySufferingPeaceImmigrationCultural IdentityLgbtqSelf AcceptanceMindfulnessBiasOppressionCompassionEmpathyCommunityRadical InclusivitySocial JusticeSense Of BelongingHappiness And SufferingUnconscious BiasSystemic OppressionCompassion And EmpathyCommunity EngagementCultural Identity And EvolutionImmigrant Experiences

Transcript

So yeah,

The title of this talk is Radical Inclusivity.

This is a topic that I'm particularly interested in.

It's always been there,

But at the moment,

It seems to be really,

Really prominent.

Really kind of,

It seems like,

If we don't learn how to do this,

We're doomed as a race.

So a lot of what I'm gonna be sharing has been inspired by this book,

Which is written by two,

Sorry,

Three practitioners,

Two of which I've met on a Generation X Dharma Teachers Conference in the States a couple of summers back.

So I'm gonna be quoting quite a bit from this.

So this book is called Radical Dharma,

Talking race,

Love,

And liberation.

And the impetus for this book was very,

Very deep work that the authors have been doing in their own sanghas in the States around,

Well,

Basically,

Just calling out how incredibly homogenous their sanghas were,

Very white,

Very middle-class,

And saying,

I don't feel welcome here,

And we need to change that.

So they've done quite a bit of work,

Lots of really deep reflections in here about how they've gone about,

And that work continues,

It's not done,

But how they've gone about starting to address those issues in their own sanghas.

And really calling for a view of Buddhism in the West as intimately relevant to social justice issues,

It cannot be separated from addressing social justice issues,

And basically saying,

If you're a Buddhist and you're not concerned about social justice,

Then you're not a Buddhist,

Which is quite a strong thing to say.

So all that said,

I might not,

I don't know if we're gonna get there today.

I'm starting with quite personal stories and reflections on my own practice,

So we'll edge into it,

But I'm not sure how much I'm gonna get into all of that kind of content,

Which is a big topic.

So this is probably a series of talks,

And just one talk,

Which is often what happens you start kind of reflecting on something and it all kind of starts to unfold in lots of different directions.

So when I started to ask myself,

Well,

What is it about actually?

What is it?

What is it?

What's the it?

This word belonging kept coming up.

So the question that emerged for me was,

How does the need to belong,

Which is shared by all beings,

How is that related to our practice?

How is that related to being a Buddhist in the West?

And as we know,

The West,

Which even of itself is quite an interesting term,

Brings up all sorts of ideas about,

Well,

I never understand it because the world is round,

So West,

East,

Depends on where you are,

I guess.

But yeah,

In our part of the world,

We live in an incredibly diverse,

Probably the most diverse society ever on the planet.

So we've got globalization,

We've got people moving all over the place,

We've got tons of diversity.

So with this diversity,

Like anything else actually,

There's different potentials.

So diversity both has the potential to cause misunderstanding,

Mistrust,

Because of difference,

So there's that potential.

And there's also the potential for us to develop radical inclusivity,

For us to be able to meet that diversity with a completely welcoming,

Unconditional love and let it change us.

So both of those potentials are there,

And within that,

That potential for inclusivity is the promise of liberation.

So there's a promise that all beings have the potential to be liberated.

And I guess my premise is that in order for that to happen,

We need to both fully accept and honor the uniqueness of each being,

The full and complete uniqueness of each individual being,

And allow them to develop and grow in ways that are personally meaningful to them.

And by implication,

Hopefully contribute to the Sangha in ways that are completely unique and personal to that being.

So one of the authors of this book just put it really,

Really beautifully,

And he talks about radical presence.

So radical presence is the practice of authenticity,

Which is the practice of staying true to oneself.

It implies that what we say or do is in accord with our truest desires and aspirations.

In my experience,

Authenticity is about embracing my unique personality as it manifests in the world.

It is about recognizing that my experience has been shaped and will continue to be shaped by the communities that I have been raised in.

There is sensitivity to the pressure from Dharma communities and society in general to conform in certain ways that may or may not be conducive to my overall health and wellbeing.

Authenticity is the conscious choice to be true to my own experience and the struggle of being attentive and patient with how my experience has been shaped through factors both in and out of my control.

It is not an easy practice.

It requires a certain level of confidence and trust in my experience as something that is valuable and meaningful.

So I'm going to begin with my own personal experience.

So sort of my location in the world where I've come from,

My conditioning.

And then we'll explore a bit about how these themes can be directly addressed in personal practice,

Particularly meditation.

And then how we can start to take that out into relationships with others,

The sangha,

Institutions that we're involved in,

And the world.

Okay.

So I'll just share a quote from the Purabedha Sita,

Which is the Buddha talking about the qualities of a wise one.

This is what I call a person who is calmed,

A person with nothing in them that they grasp at as theirs,

And nothing in them that they reject as not theirs.

The first time I heard that read out loud,

I had this moment where I just flashed into complete connectedness with the whole universe.

There's total boundarylessness.

And then it just,

As quickly as it opened,

It closed down again.

So I've been really curious about what that's about.

So hopefully it'll become clear as I talk.

So yeah,

So I was born,

You might be able to tell from my accent,

I am American.

So I was born in 1976 to two South American immigrants in Boston,

Massachusetts.

So my parents were fleeing political unrest,

Basically,

In their own country,

Which is Chile.

My father worked illegally for 10 years before he was able to get residency.

And growing up as a second generation immigrant in Boston was very complex at that time.

So there was always a feeling of being different.

And there was also a sense that there was something wrong with that difference.

So I remember from a very,

Very young age being really,

Really wanting to belong and knowing that I didn't.

And I also remember seeing,

Particularly my mother,

In that same space,

Really struggling with that desire to belong.

And in reflection,

What I realized I also saw her struggle with was the fact of what she had to give up to be able to belong.

So an example of that is I didn't start talking,

Which is,

Those of you who know me better might find this surprising,

But I didn't start talking until around probably 2 1 1 2 or something,

Very little.

Probably 2 1 1 2 or something,

Very late.

And they were really worried about me,

So they took me to the doctor and the doctor said,

You're confusing her by speaking to her in Spanish.

You need to just speak to her in English.

So for my mom,

Particularly,

I think that would have been really hard,

Because how can you not talk to your own kid in your native language?

And I think that we had a really tough relationship,

And I think that was part of it,

Was that there was a disconnection after that,

Because she couldn't really communicate with me as fully as she probably would have liked to.

And of course,

Now the research shows that it just takes kids longer,

Because they're actually learning two languages instead of one.

And then when they do start talking,

They're actually better at both.

Yeah,

It's actually very detrimental what the doctor says to you.

I know,

I know,

I know.

Yeah,

I can speak Spanish,

By the way.

Yeah,

So we were raised Catholic,

So went to a Catholic church and Catholic school.

Actually,

A big part of my education was in an all-girls environment.

So there was refuge in the church,

Because the church was full of also Italian and Irish immigrants.

I really wanted to be an Italian immigrant,

Actually.

I loved pizza and lasagna,

And I just felt really connected to that culture.

Yeah,

So anyways,

My birth name is Francisca,

And sometimes people call me Francesca,

And I didn't mind that they thought maybe I was Italian.

So yeah,

It was interesting,

Because we were the same in our difference.

So it was our difference that connected us.

But also from a very early age,

I knew that we were just visitors.

There was this whole family narrative around one day we'll go home,

And we had all these kind of visitors all the time,

Aunts,

Uncles,

Cousins,

Grandparents,

And they would come through,

So there was this sort of sense of this exotic place where people were coming and going from,

And one day we'd go there and we'd be home.

We'd fully belong somewhere.

But we never made it.

My mother got sick when I was 11 and ended up dying when I was 16.

And my dad very quickly remarried an American woman.

So by the time I was 17,

That whole dream of we're gonna go home just died.

We were finally completely Americans.

It was really painful.

One of the things that happened was my stepmother came into the family home and just completely changed everything.

So all of the cultural representations of Chile were just taken away.

And then layered on top of that,

Almost the exact same years that my mother was sick and dying,

I also was coming to terms with the fact that I was gay.

So from the age of 11 to 16,

I knew I was falling in love with every friend I had.

Basically,

I was just in this whole thing of knowing that when my friends were talking about boys and really excited about dating,

I was sort of just wanting to hang out and have slumber parties.

So there was another layer of there's something wrong with me,

I don't fit in.

And what that led to was,

Yeah,

Really deep self-hatred actually,

And lots of anger.

So my self-hatred was projected outward in lots of anger,

Which was compounded by the loss of my mother.

But interestingly,

Also after my mother died,

I did finally feel free to come out of the closet.

So there was something about her presence in my life,

Which was keeping me from being able to fully connect with that part of myself.

She was sort of the holder of religion in the family,

Really devout Catholic.

I remember her telling me once when I asked her why God created gay people.

I think I must've been seven or eight,

Really young,

Already starting to kind of make connections in my head.

And she said,

Oh,

Well,

He made gay people so there'd always be people to become priests and nuns.

It's like,

That's weird logic,

It doesn't make any sense.

So yeah,

So there's something both freeing in that capacity to then just finally be able to kind of more fully embrace a part of myself,

But also a grief that took my mother having to die for me to feel like I could do that.

And also there was something about,

Well,

I'm gonna come out now because I've got nothing left to lose actually.

I've already lost the most important person in my life,

So I may as well just,

You know,

I don't care actually what anyone thinks.

I don't care if my dad never speaks to me again,

Which he didn't,

He was actually really wonderful about it.

So I'm sharing all of this with you because,

Well,

First and foremost,

I think it's one of the strategies in diversity work that's really,

Really critical is that we share our stories,

Which immediately cultivates compassion and empathy,

So it's a way of connecting.

But also because from a Buddhist point of view,

It's critical in our practice that we understand our conditioning and what shaped us.

That's the kind of foundation,

That's the groundwork,

That's the path of integration that Sangha actually talks about when he talks about the system of practice,

The very first thing we do.

And also our conditioning can help us to understand our relationship to belonging.

So belonging is one of those things,

One of those needs that we all share.

It's so deep in us.

And our conditioning has a huge impact on our relationship to belonging.

So I used the word location earlier,

So just to say location can mean place,

So a sense of place,

Which is a really important part of who we are,

But it also can be used to refer to where we are kind of in the social hierarchy,

So where we're located in systems of oppression and privilege.

So that's the kind of foundation that we need to have in order to be able to understand systems of oppression and privilege.

So understanding our conditioning also helps us to better understand our location,

So it gives us a sense of,

Okay,

Where do I kind of sit in the whole kind of mandala of the world?

So I was saying,

And the really important part of the path is knowing our conditioning,

And also not just knowing it,

Accepting it fully.

That is what we've been given,

That is a given.

We can't change our conditioning.

Obviously,

Some of it we can change,

So in this quote,

The author was saying,

Some things that I've chosen and some things that I haven't,

Yeah.

But some things we just have to accept as what's been given,

And then we work to integrate that.

And we're integrating it all the time as practitioners into the new being that we're becoming as we progress on the path.

So as we go deeper with our Buddhist practice,

We're changing,

And we need to kind of bring all those parts of ourselves along with us so we don't leave anything behind.

We actually keep integrating more and more.

And I can personally say I've learned so much more about my conditioning by doing that integrative process,

By continuing to kind of look,

What was that about?

Oh,

That's why I'm like that,

Oh.

Yeah.

So,

I wanna say a bit about my process of coming into contact with the Dharma.

So for me personally,

Finding a sense of belonging in the sangha has not been straightforward,

And it hasn't come easy.

And it's only in the last couple of years,

So this is quite a newly emerging sort of reflection,

I've recognized a view in myself that in order to belong,

I have to give something up.

So I'm interested in transforming that view because that is actually a false view.

But when I first came along,

I was very reluctant.

So I thought that that was the view,

And I was really reluctant to give anything up because it had taken me such a long time to kind of accept who I was,

To kind of be okay with what I'd been given and the fact that I'd lost my mother and that I was gay.

So I was really reluctant to have to give anything up.

So my way of dealing with that,

Coming into the sangha,

Was to reject the group before the group could reject me.

So it was a,

I'm gonna kind of sit back and not let anyone come close to me because if they really knew who I was,

They'd find out there was something deeply wrong with me and not wanna,

And not welcome me,

Not love me.

But what this created was a lot of a sense of alienation and quite deep cynicism.

Well,

It didn't create it,

It probably just continued to perpetuate what was already there.

And this showed up over and over again in my early days in the sangha,

And still comes up sometimes.

So it took me a really long time to understand what was going on.

I remember the retreat where I finally was able to name what was happening as cynicism and that was incredibly liberating.

It's like,

Oh,

I'm just like deeply cynical.

Okay,

That's what's going on.

I'd see all these people connecting and having a great time and I'd just be like,

Oh,

I hate this place.

I just wanna go home.

Oh,

This love and peace.

Oh,

This love and peace.

So one thing that,

The thing that,

I'd say the thing that brought me to Buddhism was the end point of a kind of long sort of couple years in my late teens and early 20s reflection that I was having about love.

I was reading actually Bell Hooks' book,

All About Love.

I don't know if any of you are familiar,

But I'd highly recommend it and what I realized was that I wanted to learn how to fully love myself,

Which I knew I wasn't doing.

I knew I wasn't,

I didn't have the capacity to do at that time or I wasn't in touch with the capacity and this was because I knew that in order to really love other people,

I had to love myself first and I also knew that in order to really receive the love of others fully,

I had to love myself that deeply myself first.

But I didn't know where or how to begin.

What I did know was if I,

I had an intuition that if I could learn to work creatively with my mind,

That I could get there.

So I ended up at the San Francisco Buddhist Center in the early 2000s and a woman by the name of Viveka was teaching there and sharing.

I was 23,

She was 32.

She was already,

Already been ordained three years,

I think,

At that point.

She was a Chinese American woman,

Daughter of immigrants and had very similar sort of political views as I did,

We were doing similar work in the world.

And I have to say,

With all due respect to the other people teaching in that center at the time,

That if anyone else was teaching that class,

I probably wouldn't have come back.

There was something about the connection with another woman,

Another daughter of immigrants,

Someone I could see myself reflected back in,

Who was being amazing as far as I could tell.

I really looked up to her.

That made me feel like,

Okay,

I can be here.

This is a place I can be,

This is a place I can grow.

So I wanted to give you a bit of Buddhist input just now to kind of frame the next piece of the reflections.

So I just wanna talk a bit about the Buddha's teachings on suffering.

So in that practice that we just did earlier,

I was inviting you to just in a very simple way be with your own suffering,

Whatever,

However that was manifesting in the moment.

So we must be willing to be with our own discomfort.

We must be willing to stay with it in order to really practice.

So this is one of the things that Viveka taught me early on,

Which is that the most important work that we can do is to open as fully as we can to our own suffering,

But with this attitude of deep,

Unconditional love.

That's essential.

So this is the first step in learning how to love ourselves and it cannot be skipped.

And what the Buddha said was when he was asked,

There's all these teachers around in India,

2,

500 years ago,

What are you teaching exactly?

What makes your teaching special?

And he said very simply,

I teach suffering and the end of suffering.

And he later expanded this into the Four Noble Truths,

Which many of you will be familiar with.

So there is suffering.

There's aloneness,

There's separateness,

There's alienation,

So that would be kind of my version.

There's the cause of suffering.

So all things are impermanent.

We believe we're a fixed,

Non-changing self.

We act out of great hatred and delusion.

I tried to put this into a PIP sentence.

We think we are a separate self relating to real things and cling to those things or push them away,

Depending on whether we like them or not.

And when they come or go because they are impermanent,

We suffer.

So that's kind of the basic cause of suffering.

There is an end to suffering.

The Dharma,

The path,

I've put in parentheses here,

Belonging,

Maybe just fully feeling like we belonged would bring an end to suffering.

I don't know,

You could explore that.

And there's a path that leads to the end of suffering.

The eightfold path in the traditional teachings.

So there are real things we can do to end suffering in ourselves and other people.

So this attitude that I was invited to bring from the very first time I stepped into the center was one of acceptance,

Openness,

Curiosity,

Interest,

Inclusion,

Unconditional love,

Allowing everything in our experience,

Whether wanted or not wanted,

Whether it adds up to our ideas of who we think we are or doesn't,

Letting all of that in.

And by doing that,

We immediately feel connected.

So you were saying you had this discomfort and then when you imagined all these other beings,

You felt connected,

Yeah?

So letting this big,

Broad,

Open,

Loving,

Everything's welcome here.

Nothing needs to be banished.

Somehow then,

Because the nature of reality is complete openness and connection,

We drop into that sense of connection.

So one thing that I found really helpful is to look for the integrity in things that we may initially demonize as bad or wrong.

So my own need for belonging was something that when I first came along on the Buddhist path,

I demonized,

Like,

Oh,

There's something wrong with me if I need to belong.

I should be able to be this completely self-sufficient,

Unattached being.

So it can be really helpful to reframe things like that and to look for the integrity in that voice,

Yeah?

So the integrity in the voice that was saying,

You shouldn't have to need to belong.

That's an unhelpful need on the spiritual path.

You should be able to just be totally detached.

So my reframe has been to see my need for belonging as a facet of my own deep sensitivity to the way things actually are.

So there's a need to belong because guess what?

I'm not actually separate.

So that need is coming from a sensitivity to,

Oh,

We're not actually separate.

Of course we want to be whole.

Of course we want to be fully connected because that's our true nature.

That's how things actually are.

So all the ways in which we feel separate are not actually true.

That doesn't mean they're not real and it doesn't mean that they don't need to be addressed,

But they're not ultimately how things actually are.

So all beings on this planet are intimately connected.

We're not actually separate from each other.

There is ultimately no self and there's ultimately no other.

And it's only because of this false view of separateness because we imagine ourselves as separate and imagine others as separate from us that we suffer.

We can't see it,

We can't know it,

We can't understand it and we can't dwell in it.

So this is,

You could say our false sense of separateness is one of the most fundamental root causes of our suffering.

So because non-separateness is our true nature,

We have this yearning to return to wholeness.

There's a deep yearning to be whole again,

Which to,

Because I know wholeness that can feel kind of like,

Well,

What is that?

It's quite vague.

So what does that look like?

We all have had this experience already.

So it's deeply connecting a sense of intimacy.

I'm sure you've all had experiences where you're in connection with another person and you just feel totally fully seen and heard by them and witnessed by them and understood and known by them.

Yeah.

So when this does happen,

We feel whole.

Yeah,

We feel like,

Ah,

Something drops away.

And this return to wholeness is what opens the doorway for us to be able to connect with our inner self.

It's a doorway for us to be able to connect with the wholeness in others as well.

So when we're able to open to our own completeness,

We can connect more fully with others.

But in order for us to do that,

We have to do the work ourselves,

And this is a theme I'm gonna keep coming back to.

So another author in this book,

Angel Kyoto Williams,

She's writing about queerness.

And she says,

Fully accepting myself is an inherently binding agreement of allowing others to be fully themselves.

So fully accepting myself is an inherently binding agreement of allowing others to fully be themselves.

So the next time you feel like someone's not allowing you to fully be yourself,

That's an opportunity to have compassion,

Because basically,

If someone can't,

They can't be fully,

They can't fully accept and allow themselves to be themselves.

That's why you're not feeling fully accepted and allowed to be who you are.

That's a painful place to be.

So because we're not fully awake yet,

And because we can have these sort of deeply entrenched habits of thinking that in order to belong,

For example,

We need to be something other than what we already are.

So I'll say that again.

We might think that in order to belong,

We need to be something other than what we are or who we are.

We mistakenly cast away parts of ourselves in an effort to belong.

And this only ends up creating more disconnection in ourselves and from others.

So we wanna belong,

We think we have to be someone else,

So we get rid of,

Or not get rid of,

But we imagine that we've gotten rid of,

We deny ourselves,

We suppress,

We banish,

Banish is a good word,

All parts of ourselves that we think won't be accepted,

And then this ends up creating more disconnection,

So there's a dynamic there.

And we do the same to others.

So this is the really painful part.

We dismiss others' experiences,

Or things that they think or say that we don't like or that we don't think adds up to who they should be or are.

And then we create all these stories about them and us that puts them on the outside.

So coming back to personal practice.

So it's really critical that we are able to cultivate curiosity.

Curiosity,

I think,

Is one of the most fundamental attitudes that we need to do this work.

So getting curious about how delusion actually works in our everyday experience,

So how things like greed,

Hatred,

Jealousy,

Envy,

Arise in our own experience,

But also in others' experience.

And we need to be able to meet those forces of delusion fully.

And in meeting them fully,

That's when we can begin to transform that energy,

Because there's lots of energy bound up in those emotions.

There's lots there that could be used,

Well,

In the Buddhist term,

The word virya,

So energy in pursuit of the good,

Which for me always feels like a bit of a superhero slogan.

Energy in pursuit of the good,

Go!

How are you doing?

Can we go for another 20 minutes and then have a break?

Is that okay?

It's just about 10 past 11.

So how many of you are familiar with the Satipatthana Sutta?

Ooh,

Great.

I feel so honored to be the first to tell you about it.

So this is the Buddhist teachings on the four foundations of mindfulness,

Sometimes referred to as the direct path to awakening.

So that's another kind of energy in pursuit of the good.

Let's take the direct path.

And basically what the Buddhist keeps saying over and over again,

It's a really beautiful sutta.

I really,

Really encourage you to read it,

Study it,

Do it.

He just says,

Look,

Keep coming back to four things,

Mindfully,

Diligently,

In an open way,

With curiosity and interest.

And those are the body.

So here we are,

We're in this physical thing.

It's quite mysterious,

There's six senses,

Because in Buddhism the mind is also considered a sense.

So can we get curious about what's actually going on just in our direct sensei experience?

And then he invites us to turn towards feelings,

Which in the Buddhist context are quite simply liking,

Disliking,

Or not quite caring which.

So whatever we experience in this body,

We have an initial kind of response to,

And it's one of,

Ooh,

That's uncomfortable,

Or ooh,

I like that,

Or we're not quite sure.

So that's sometimes referred to as pleasant,

Unpleasant,

And neutral.

So if anyone ever asks you how many feelings are there in Buddhism,

You can say there's just three.

It's quite simple,

It's not that much going on actually.

And then he invites us to turn towards the mind.

So what's arising in the mind,

Particularly in the area of delusion,

So these,

What's referred to as clasius,

Or root poisons,

So that the things that,

Initially on the path may seem like they're obstructing us from growing,

But actually if we can work creatively with them,

Become the means for liberation,

We can transform that energy.

So anger,

Greed,

Hatred,

Jealousy,

Envy,

Find your own version and mix it up and stir,

And take a big swig.

And then finally,

Dhammas,

Which,

This is not a talk on the Satipatthana Sutta,

So I'll just say dhammas is sort of taking all that in and seeing how one could wake up from that,

And believing in the liberation of all beings.

So in the Sutta,

The reason I brought up the Sutta is because it's one of the main teachings that the Buddha gives us on meditation,

How to work with our minds,

And what's very,

There's a curious thing in the refrain where the Buddha keeps coming back to the words,

The invitation to be aware of these four foundations of mindfulness that I just named,

Both internally and externally.

Now why would the Buddha,

Who is awake,

Connected to all things,

Had no sense of a separate self or a separate other,

Was as far as we know,

Kind of in complete oneness,

Talk in that way,

About internally,

About being aware of things both internally and externally.

It's very practical,

So he knew that we are deluded and we are still in dualistic thinking,

So that the advice is given to the unawake mind.

So we're gonna think over here and over there,

So that's why he said,

Okay,

Well,

If that's how you see the world,

Make sure that your awareness is aware of what's over here and what's over there,

Yeah?

So I'm just gonna give you a really practical application of this teaching.

So the next time someone really pisses you off,

You could do a reframe.

Oh,

The clasia of anger is arising in that person over there,

An external awareness of anger,

As equation,

External awareness of something arising in the mind,

In their mind.

This anger is clearly a result of all of the conditioning in their lives that have arrived in this moment where they are angry.

So whatever came before has all added up to this person being in a state of anger.

And probably you could also reflect on that that's happening for you as well.

All of my everything has led to this moment where this is just happening.

This is what's inherited,

This is what's arrived.

So we don't have to make it personal,

Actually.

It's not personal.

In fact,

That person's anger,

They're just projecting that onto you.

You're just like this place where they can put it and the same thing may be happening back,

Yeah?

So that's just their strategy for however uninformed or based in delusion it is to try and return to wholeness so that they don't know any better,

I don't know any better.

So can I just meet all of that with this interest in love?

Can I just get interested in what's the possibility,

What's possible here?

What can be transformed in this moment?

And we don't necessarily have to do that work in relation to maybe at some point that would be helpful,

But this can all be happening just on our own over here and it can still have a deeply transformative effect,

At least on ourselves,

If not on the other person.

So this view helps us to develop empathy for others and most importantly,

Not take things so personally.

I know it's a really challenging exercise but you could just try it out.

Maybe start with something less intense like someone's pissing off,

Maybe just you miss the bus or you see someone else,

Someone who's angry at someone else but it's not directed at you and you could just sort of end up as like,

Oh look,

There's anger.

Okay,

So this is a quote from Dogen,

The great Zen master.

To study the way of the Buddha is to study the self.

To study the self is to forget the self.

To forget the self is to be enlightened by all things.

To be enlightened by all things is to cast off the body and mind of the self as well as all others.

All traces of enlightenment disappear and this traceless enlightenment continues on and on endlessly.

To study the Buddha way is to study the self.

So earlier on I talked about this false view of I need to not cast off the self.

I need to not cast off parts of myself in order to belong.

So often,

This is very typical in Buddhism I think.

We might ask ourselves,

Well why is it so important to have a healthy sense of self?

Aren't we supposed to be getting rid of the self?

Aren't we supposed to be seeing through all that anyways?

Don't we just need to get on with seeing through the illusion of self,

Yeah?

So there's a real danger in this way of thinking,

It's very common I think.

In fact,

There's even a term for it.

It's called spiritual bypassing.

It's just such an evocative term.

So by not turning towards getting to know,

Accepting,

Including all the parts of ourselves.

First,

Just our conditioning,

Our background,

Our race,

Our gender,

Our sexuality,

Et cetera.

If we can't even establish enough,

We're never gonna be able to actually turn towards all the other parts of ourselves we'd rather not face.

What's hidden,

What's in the background,

Operating under the surface,

Unconsciously.

So if we bypass,

If we think,

Oh I don't need to know about any of that because it's not real anyways.

So I can just get on with my practice over here.

We actually,

We can make progress to a certain point,

But we'll never be able to fully realize fullness because of what I spoke of before.

We're casting things off,

We're banishing parts of ourselves.

So as a Buddhist,

I found it really important,

Especially in the early stages of my practice,

To develop a healthy sense of myself,

Which includes my race,

My gender,

My sexuality,

My nationality,

Et cetera.

So even though as Buddhists we are concerned with seeing through the illusion of a fixed sense of self,

This doesn't mean that we ignore the self that is here,

The one that's arriving in the moment,

And is changing as well.

So there's this beautiful quote from an American practitioner named Rosa Zubizarreta.

And probably I chose this quote as well because she's Latin American,

So I felt a resonance with what she was saying.

It feels too facile to be told that my culture,

My life experience,

My family,

My language,

Do not matter,

Are not who I really am.

This is especially true since the difference that I bring to my study and practice of Buddhism has made me highly aware of how much our understanding and knowledge of Buddhism has changed and how much our understanding and view is influenced by who we are,

By the lenses that we ourselves bring to the teachings and the practice.

So there's as many lenses as there are beings on the planet,

And no one else knows what your lens is.

That's yours.

That's totally,

Completely unique to you.

The implication of that is no one else can tell you how to do it.

So sometimes the dharma is referred to as a finger pointing at the moon.

And the reason for that is that we're all our own moons.

It's going to happen for each of us in our own unique way.

There's structures and formulations and pointings,

Like,

Yeah,

Go that way,

That works,

That's good.

But how it actually unfolds will be unique to us.

So coming back to the Pura,

I can never say this word,

Pura-bedhasita.

Their mindfulness holds them poised in a constant even-mindedness.

Their mindfulness holds them poised in a constant even-mindedness.

Their mindfulness holds them poised in a constant even-mindedness.

Their mindfulness holds them poised in a constant even-mindedness.

Where arrogance is impossible.

They make no comparisons with the rest of the world as superior,

Inferior,

Or equal.

So the Buddha taught that any comparisons that we make between ourselves and others are rooted in delusion.

So thinking where superior,

Inferior,

Or equal are all forms of conceit.

In our current culture,

Often conceit is considered a sense of superiority,

But actually in Buddhism it's all three versions.

So we need to be,

Again,

Very interested in challenging any views that come up where we're doing that,

Which will be more and more subtle as we become more and more aware.

So I'll give you an example of my own reflections on my own conditioning that's led me to feel superior,

Inferior,

Or equal to others.

So a confession,

I'm definitely guilty of seeing myself as superior to those who don't share my views.

There's a whole bunch of them back home called Trump supporters.

It's very easy for me to dismiss millions and millions of people as uneducated,

Bigoted,

Racist,

Sexist,

Etc.

These are all the things I am not.

These are all the things I am not.

My own self-view places me above these people in the hierarchy of morality,

Which is not true.

There's no hierarchy of morality,

So I'm speaking facetiously.

These are all false views.

I am ultimately no better or worse than the people who voted for Trump.

I have no doubt that they sincerely think that they've done something that's going to make their lives better.

I don't think anyone would vote for someone if they thought it was going to make their lives worse.

So they just want to be happy.

So their delusion is rooted in the same forces,

The same clashes as mine.

That's so humbling.

That doesn't mean that we don't do things to try and make the world better.

So yes,

That is a phenomenon that's happening.

It is painful,

And we do need to do things.

But I'm talking on the level of views right now,

Just challenging our own views.

And then what about what makes us feel inferior?

So often,

I find myself.

.

.

This is less often than usual,

Actually.

I was noticing this when I was reading through the talk last night.

I thought,

Actually,

That doesn't happen as much anymore.

But definitely when I was younger,

I was less able to speak my mind to older white men.

That particular category,

For some reason,

I just start to shut down,

Not be able to actually,

Especially disagree.

So there's something in me that starts to lose confidence.

I know this has something to do with the way I was educated and experiences that I have had in the past of being talked down to and made to feel that I didn't know what I was talking about.

So because of my conditioning,

And also because of individuals who I've had not very open experiences with,

Their conditioning as well,

So there's a dynamic there.

And as a woman,

I've been aware of these unconscious feelings of inferiority.

Another example,

As a lesbian,

I've often caught myself assuming that I don't deserve things that straight people deserve,

Like holding my lover's hand,

Walking down the street,

Being able to get married.

So the very things that others may take for granted and not even have to think about and enjoy,

I have some sense that I don't deserve that.

There's still,

Actually,

There is still a bit of that.

That's not for me.

I don't deserve that.

Okay,

So then there's this baffling third category of seeing ourselves as equal to others.

So this is really challenging for us in our current times,

Because equality is one of those ideals of Western society,

Isn't it?

So I just want to say that the Buddha wasn't challenging the need for social equality.

In fact,

The Buddha was a fighter of social equality.

He openly challenged the caste system in India.

So what he meant in this teaching was that if we take the view that if we're equal to any other beings,

Then we deny the ways in which we're all completely unique.

So if we just say,

Oh,

Well,

We're just the same,

So it's all good,

So we don't have to think about diversity or equity or making the world a better place,

Because we're all just the same and we're equal.

So we deny the ways in which actually suffering,

Some people do suffer more than others.

Our conditioning is different.

We're all,

We've all had our unique experience.

So this uniqueness puts us beyond any need for comparison.

Seeing ourselves as equal to another is still a subtle way of separating out from the other.

So it's a view that says,

I'm here,

You're over there,

But we're equal.

You're not superior to me,

I'm not superior to you,

We're equal.

The right view might be something like,

So I don't know what the right view is because I'm not awake,

But it might be something more like,

It appears that I am over here and you are over there,

But ultimately there is no me and no you and no space in between,

So there's no need to compare.

Comparisons are useless.

So someone during the break was saying,

Oh,

I totally resonated with what you were saying about that feeling of kind of,

Everyone else is connecting and you're sort of fading into the wall,

And how do I,

What do you do about that?

Yeah,

I mean we have to do the work of inclusion,

The radical inclusivity on the cushion,

So that means over here in our own personal practice,

In the way that we meet ourselves just now in order to do it off the cushion.

So we can't expect to be able to go out and connect fully with others and bring ourselves in as fully as we'd like to and be really honest and open if we can't do that for ourselves,

If we can't give ourselves that gift.

So if we aren't willing to turn towards and begin to bring into more full awareness our own greed,

Hatred and delusion,

We won't be able to face those forces outside of ourselves.

So we all know the story of the burnt out activist,

You know,

The person who's out there fighting in the world but just has nothing left for themselves and maybe even doesn't really know themselves that well,

Doesn't really know what drives them.

So the intention's good,

But the effect may be,

Not as effective as it could be.

So how is this relevant to meeting the challenges of our times?

So in our world,

Fear of the other is what drives most of the issues that we currently face.

It doesn't take much to see that if you look for it.

So right now we're in a time where there's a massive rise of nationalism,

Anti-Semitism,

Islamophobia,

Racism,

Sexism,

Homophobia,

Transphobia,

Add your own versions of things.

One American Buddhist academic has written on the topic of racial injustice.

Once racial injustice has been established as a form of dukkha,

Which is the Buddhist term for suffering,

The next move,

Following the Four Noble Truths,

Is to inquire into the causes and conditions of that suffering.

At the root of racism is the existential tendency to create a false sense of self and an unreal other that we respond to with aversion and fear.

In essence,

Therefore,

Racism is a cultural manifestation of this existential illusion of separateness.

I'll say that again.

Racism is a cultural manifestation of this existential illusion of separateness.

Waking up to the reality of interdependence requires an investigation of both the individual and collective conditioning around race that keeps one ensnared in separateness.

Certain practices of Buddhism,

Such as mindfulness,

Offer potent tools to inquire into and become free of this condition.

Certain practices of Buddhism,

Such as mindfulness,

Offer potent tools to inquire into and become free of this conditioning.

So we have to be courageous enough to accept that there are many ways that we show up in the world that we are unaware of,

Unconscious of.

So I'm sure we're all familiar with the term unconscious bias.

Everyone's got it.

It's part of being human.

So the work is to become more and more aware of,

Get curious in,

Inquire into how that might be going on for you and how that manifests in the way you show up.

So this is what I mean by the word radical.

And I'm just going to read another quote from the radical Dharma from angel Kyoto Williams,

Who's a priest in the Zen tradition.

To inhabit radical as an ideal is to commit to going beyond one's familiar or even chosen terrain.

It avails you to what you weren't willing to see,

Which is the place truth resides.

To embody that truth is to live beyond the limits of self-reinforcing habits,

Which take the narrative of the past,

Project it onto the future,

And obscure the present,

Leaving us to sleepwalk in the dreamscape of other people's desires and determinations.

To commit to going beyond one's familiar or even chosen terrain.

So can we get curious about our unconscious biases?

What is beneath the surface hidden?

What biases,

What might we be bringing to how we think,

Speak,

And act?

This work is the same for those of us who come from a privileged background as for those of us who have been less privileged.

So the work is exactly the same for everyone.

For example,

From what I've already shared,

You could think that my background is one of little privilege,

A child of immigrants,

A woman,

Queer,

But I did grow up incredibly privileged.

We lived in a very nice home in a very nice neighborhood.

My father trained as a surgeon in Chile before he left Chile.

I said earlier he worked illegally for 10 years.

He worked illegally as a surgeon for 10 years.

So we weren't destitute.

We always had food on the table.

I went to private school and got an incredibly good education,

Mostly because my mom was afraid of the public education system in the States.

It was going to corrupt her daughters.

So in many,

Many ways,

I had a much better start than the majority of people on the planet.

But in other ways,

I've also struggled.

So for me,

I need to get curious about both how the ways in which I was privileged have shaped my views and also the ways in which I've struggled.

And there's another category to get interested in,

Which is how privilege,

Often unconsciously earned,

So it's not that many of the privileges that we enjoy have been bestowed upon us by the society that we were born into,

How that causes us suffering.

Because when we begin to wake up to it,

We see how we are being privileged over others.

So someone during the break also said,

A man came to me and said,

I suffer from patriarchy.

And we know now there's a whole movement in feminism now to kind of try and point to how men also suffer in the structures of sexism and patriarchy.

So by understanding the complexities of these forces within ourselves and how they operate in the collective,

We'll be able to better understand and address them in the world around us.

And another quote from Lama Rod Owens,

We can have this rhetoric of overthrowing oppressive systems,

But we have to balance that with the work of overthrowing the oppressive system operating internally that actually keeps us enslaved.

So all of what goes on,

It's like as without,

So within.

So we internalize,

Sometimes that's referred to as internalized oppression.

And that's why sometimes women can be perpetrators of sexism,

Sometimes even more effectively than men actually.

That's a strong thing to say.

That wasn't in the notes,

That just popped out.

It's not enough just to see our views more clearly.

So this also came up during the break,

So interesting.

So it's so painful because we see it,

But then we keep doing it.

So although we may realize that certain views that we've held cause harm and are not useful anymore,

We continue to act from that place because they're very,

Very deep rooted and we haven't actually pulled it up by the root yet.

So this takes a lot of diligence and mindfulness and patience and love to sort of bear with it,

Bear with the suffering,

Bear the pain of that.

Just try and keep noticing when it's happening,

Try and bring more and more awareness to how it happens when it's happening,

What might be at play in a particular dynamic.

So these are views that have shaped not just us,

But they've shaped our relationship,

They've shaped our institutions,

They've been around for as long as humanity's been around.

So it's going to take a long time to uproot that,

Not just out there,

But also in here.

Often waking up,

The word liberation is used,

So liberation from suffering,

That's what we're concerned with as Buddhists.

And liberation is also a word that's held quite dearly to those who fight for social justice.

So the Dharma,

There's so much potential to bring the Dharma into this work that it's got everything you need to wake up,

To be liberated.

And one of the things that the Buddha taught and that we know from stories like social justice activists like Nassim Mandela for example,

Is that liberation is a state of mind.

Liberation is a state of mind.

So if you don't think that you can be liberated,

You can't imagine how that might be possible or what it could look like once it has happened.

Then you won't be able to create the necessary conditions for liberation to happen.

So the first step is to believe that this is possible,

Believe that a better world is possible,

Believe that a better me is possible.

And so one thing that I have found really helpful,

So this is getting into the what can we start to do question,

So one thing that I've found really helpful in terms of creating those conditions is to find other people who feel the same way.

So you've created this group,

So this is a great place to do this work.

And they're finding people who feel similarly about the issues but also who maybe have a similar experience that you have.

So the Inside Meditation Society in the States has had really good success with hosting people of color only spaces,

Queer spaces,

Spaces for people to come together to explore issues around identity without needing to kind of deal with a lot of these other forces that we're talking about.

It feels safe to do that.

So getting into creative,

Helpful,

Transformative dialogue with others,

First maybe those who can identify with what our struggles are,

Where we can start to kind of coalesce around maybe a common way forward,

Common strategies to address issues,

And then the really courageous and hard work of taking the dialogue outside of that group maybe to others who for whatever reason are not plugged in or tuned in to the suffering of that group or maybe even are perpetrators of the oppression that you feel.

So being able to get into dialogue with those who may be contributing to the Green-Hager Indilution that has led to that suffering.

And I'm sure many of you have heard of the work of restorative justice.

That is that work.

It's about creating spaces for those dialogues to happen.

So we live in a divided world.

So our world,

Obviously there's lots of social injustice.

And this is happening all the time.

So it's not some theoretical thing.

It's going on all the time right now.

It's going on out there in the world.

So we do need to get curious about these forces.

And we also need to get curious about how they show up in the Sangha because we are not separate from that world out there.

It's not like when someone walks through the doors of the Buddhist center,

Their entire identity disappears and they're just some blank,

Neutral person who can just fit in with the stream of whatever's happening here.

I heard one woman of color in the Sangha recently explain it like it's in the walls.

Like it's in the fabric.

It's even in sort of how the space is set up.

Who are you thinking of when you build a Buddhist center?

Who's being considered in that?

At Breathworks we have this issue all the time because our founder's in a wheelchair and it's really actually hard to find spaces to hold events that she can go to,

Even in the days of laws that sort of require that.

So we have to get interested in how it's showing up here today,

Now.

And that goes for everything.

So from our own internal process to the interactions between us,

To the way people are greeted at the door,

To the examples we use when we communicate the Dharma,

To what we choose to emphasize when we talk about the Buddha and his teachings and his life,

To who gets to be in the teaching space,

To how we do what we do.

So for example,

I've often heard many,

Many times that the way that we study in charatana is very,

Very,

Well,

Middle class is the word that often gets used,

But it assumes an educational background.

It assumes a certain level of education,

An ability to understand and engage at a particular level.

So yeah,

So we need to want to create spaces where anyone walking through the door,

No matter what their life experience is,

Feels fully met,

Fully welcomed,

Fully included in what's going on.

And sometimes that actually takes being much more explicit about the invitation,

Because individuals coming from groups that have been historically oppressed do not necessarily feel welcome unless the invitation is explicit.

And then the other side of that is,

It's not just about getting people in the door,

It's also about then folks feeling able to come into relationship with the Dharma and the Sangha in a way that's authentic to them and their process,

So they can bring themselves fully in.

Which again,

The aspiration there,

And I'm speaking quite ideally now,

But the aspiration there would be that when people are able to step into the space and then grow and develop in that space in a way that's authentic to them,

They will then be able to contribute to the Sangha in ways that are meaningful to them,

Which then means that others who come from similar backgrounds will feel like this is a place for them.

So I'll just end with a quote from last year,

When Obama was still president,

Oh the days.

This would never happen today.

A group called the Buddhist for Racial Justice wrote a letter to the US administration and got a whole hundreds of Buddhist teachers and leaders to sign it,

So this is a collective.

This is just a very short excerpt from a collective letter to the administration.

And this was on the occasion of a Buddhist gathering in Washington.

The Buddhist teachings are grounded in a clear recognition of suffering,

A real commitment to non-harming and an understanding of interdependence.

We can't separate our personal healing and transformation from that of our larger society.

The historic and continued suffering of people of color in this country,

Of African Americans,

Native Americans,

Latinos,

Asian Americans,

And others,

Is our collective suffering.

The harm caused daily is our collective responsibility.

Once we see this suffering,

Our freedom unfolds as we respond with a wise and compassionate heart.

Once we see this suffering,

Our freedom unfolds as we respond with a wise and compassionate heart.

Meet your Teacher

SinghashriLondon

4.7 (125)

Recent Reviews

Naomi

January 27, 2024

This is beautifully articulated talk that has got me thinking about how we can be more inclusive at our local buddhist centre. Thank you for emphasizing the collective nature of healing underpinned by the truth of interdependence, and the importance of wholeness and integration over bypassing elements of identity.

JonPriscilla

March 18, 2018

An amazing, heartfelt, insightful reflection on the possibility of liberation and some of the challenges on the path. Shame the talk cut off near the end!

Regina

October 4, 2017

Can't wait to hear more! I want to buy the book now too!

Micky

August 16, 2017

Thank you for this, so badly needed guidance.Please share widely, considering what is happening today in the US. Peace and love to everyone.

Aga

August 10, 2017

Very smart words. Somehow I always manage to find exactly the words I need to hear. Thank you

Miljan

July 19, 2017

Exactly what i was needing to hear. Thank you,that was wonderful.

Suzanne

July 19, 2017

Ty...nice remberence of those Suttas. Thank you for sharing parts of your personal journey ~~

Andre

July 6, 2017

I love this great podcast to listen to in commute to work. 👍

Kay

July 5, 2017

This was fantastic. Thank you. Wish there was a way to go back to various parts. Please consider making available on YouTube. Id like to share but most won't sign up for IT. Thank you again

Sallie

June 1, 2017

This is moving and powerful. You bring clarity, insight and commitment to this important discussion. Your courage in bringing this discussion forward and telling your story is inspiring, especially in this day and age. Thank you. Namaste.

Michelle

May 29, 2017

Wow! Can we get a whole podcast series on this theme?? And a reading list? I will definitely give this a second play.

Nicola

May 29, 2017

Very valuable discourse ... many jewels to consider.

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