Erase Two Words And Feel More Empowered Instantly #203

Welcome to the Soul Infused Monday show.

Today,

Number 203,

With the topic,

Erase these two words from your vocabulary and you will feel more powerful instantly.

Take a pen and a paper,

Take notes and let's get this going.

And I want to say one thing,

Especially if you've been on the path for a while and you might be already aware of the conscious use of language.

If you've followed me for a while,

You know,

I talk about this a lot,

A lot,

A lot,

A lot.

Now,

Whether you are familiar with the conscious use of words,

The words of energy,

Energy as words,

If you've listened to this before,

Whether you've heard this before or not,

I invite you to really listen in because repetition is key.

Repetition is super important and you always learn something new because the person that you are right now,

You hear listening in right now is not the same person than yesterday.

And it's also not the same person in consciousness than when you maybe heard this before.

Even though this is not the topic for today,

I already invite you to erase another phrase from your vocabulary.

And that is,

Oh,

I know this already.

If you hear yourself saying that restart fresh,

Because again,

You are always in a different state of mind in a different state of being.

And the more repetition you let into your system,

The more you're going to master certain skills,

Also the conscious use of language.

And I am going to share two of two words,

Because they're interchangeable.

And interestingly enough,

They are used very,

Very often.

The reason why I'm doing this again today,

Because I've taught this or spoke about this in the past,

But even only recently in the last few weeks,

I've heard this so many times that I knew it's time for a refresher.

It's time to bring this on the table again.

And in particular,

The last few weeks,

I offered my group tapping healing session through personal invitation.

So I was reaching out to certain people that I wanted to share this with messages,

Through calls,

And the women that I addressed.

There were two in particular that just stood out for me because they were in the beginning when it happened twice in a row that I thought,

Okay,

I get to talk about this again,

That we remember,

I asked them if they would like to join without attachment,

Very loving,

Caring,

I'm thinking of you,

Would you like to join?

I was not attached for them to join or not.

It's an offering.

The response I got was,

Oh,

I would love to,

But I can't.

And or,

I would love to,

But I am unable to join.

Then I took the time to give them a little coaching for free just because I wanted them to feel more empowered because you might have already guessed these are the two works.

Write them down for a moment.

The first phrase is,

I can't.

And hang in there with me.

I will give you substitutes and alternatives and reasons why energetically that is very,

It is empowering and how you can be more powerful instantly.

I can't and or I am unable.

Because funny enough,

I was saying to the first person,

What if you don't use I can't,

And you use a different phrase?

And then she wrote,

That makes sense.

Hmm.

Instead of using I can't,

Or I am unable,

It's like,

It's the same.

Because you are able,

You're not unable.

From an energetic perspective,

When you use the words,

I can't,

Or I am unable,

You first kind of close the door.

That's just like I can't,

In any circumstances,

I can't do this.

I can't sing,

I can go there.

I'm unable to attend this great webinar,

Even though I want to,

I can't,

And I am unable,

To do so,

And that,

In all,

Puts you in a disempowering state of energy,

Disempowering state of being.

And you might think,

Yes,

Anja,

But I really don't,

I mean,

I really can't sing,

Or I really can't join.

Again,

The first thing you want to do is to dissect the words and see what is You first want to be truthful to yourself because I can't is usually not necessarily the truth,

But we make a choice.

We make a choice.

So instead of saying,

I can't join,

I can't go to dinner tonight,

I can't invest in this,

I can't,

Whatever you are saying that you can't,

Choose for a moment internally to tell yourself the truth.

I can.

However,

I don't want to right now.

So I'm choosing not to.

Do you feel the difference?

I give you an example,

A very simple example.

Let's say you get invited to dinner.

And it's a nice friend,

You're not opposed to going out for dinner sometime,

But you don't feel like going out for dinner.

For whatever reason,

You don't even have to justify.

How many times do we say,

Oh,

Sorry,

I can't go out for dinner tonight with the best intentions.

The truth is,

The truth is you can go out for dinner,

But you choose not to.

And I understand that it might be challenging or difficult to say to your friend,

You know what,

I don't want to go out for dinner tonight,

But thank you for inviting me.

Even though I think that's very kind and loving to do.

First you want to be honest with yourself,

Even if it takes some time to verbalize it outside.

Instead of saying,

I can't,

You internally already say,

Yes,

I can.

I can,

But I choose not to.

So that's first for me,

Just for yourself.

And then the next step,

Of course,

Is to feel confident and honest and also kind enough to tell the truth towards yourself and with someone else.

And there are many different ways you can do that.

But the first step is really to be aware of the words,

I can't,

And I am unable,

And how often you actually use them.

And you don't even notice,

It's so unconscious,

It's constantly.

For those people who work with me and they want me to correct them,

I am constantly correcting them.

Even though they're working on it,

Because here's the truth.

You don't know when you don't know,

Because when you say it,

You are not aware that you're saying it because otherwise you wouldn't say it and you would correct yourself.

Whether you,

And I am correcting myself constantly and I've been doing this for so long.

However,

I am pretty sure there's sometimes moments that I might use it,

But I am not aware and it happens to all of us.

It's a training,

It's a habit,

It's a conscious choice you're making to be more aware and intentional about how you use language and the words.

And of course,

There's way more to say to this,

But I want to keep it with,

I can't and I'm unable today.

So what do you say instead?

What do you say instead?

I give you a few examples.

And again,

As a reminder,

First,

You got to be honest with yourself first.

It is okay if you don't feel confident or if you don't feel like you're ready yet to say this to another person,

But at least you know you're in integrity,

You are aware and then you can choose to say something else.

Instead of saying,

I can't,

Whatever it is,

You say,

I choose not to and simply feel the energy for a moment.

So the energy I can't energetically collapses you,

It closes.

I can't close this,

This empowers constrict.

When you take a breath,

Even if you don't take a breath,

If you say,

I choose not to do this,

You are empowered.

You are expanded and you're open.

You don't collapse.

You are not constricted.

You are empowered instantly.

And yes,

I see a comment.

I feel the need to explain.

Again,

This has more layers to it and you might get,

And most likely get to do some deeper inner work so that you feel good and safe and without the need to justify or explain because then you will feel guilty or that you're bad by saying no or something.

So that's a different level that you get then to dig deeper.

So thank you for bringing this up.

For now,

Forget about explaining it.

For now,

Forget about just justifying it.

Only focus on the works and you take it one step at a time.

Next time you hear yourself saying,

I can't,

You say,

Oh,

Pause for a moment.

Okay.

Is it true that I can't?

Do I not want to do it?

Or am I choosing not to?

Am I afraid of maybe I don't know how,

And then you first do it internally.

It's so much more empowering,

So much more empowering.

Okay.

Let me give you a few things so that you can write them down.

Okay.

You get to practice this.

It takes inner work.

It needs deeper also exploration of what are the underlying beliefs that they're conditioning.

You might be afraid of saying no.

You might be afraid of being honest.

You are simply not used to it because everybody's using it.

Everybody's constantly saying it.

Now you are here and because you are here,

You already made a decision to be more aware,

To be more conscious and that you are working on yourself.

So you want to become your best self.

So simply just because everybody else is saying it,

You don't,

You make a choice.

Instead of saying,

I can't or I'm unable,

You can say these terms as simple to start with for yourself or others.

I don't want to know.

That's a tip that might be a really challenging one for many.

However,

At this point right now,

It's more an acknowledgement and admitting to yourself.

I don't want to.

Maybe you said yes to babysitting even though you didn't want to,

But you felt guilty.

I'm saying this because I had someone just sharing that with me.

However,

I can't,

You can substitute it with I don't want to.

You can substitute it with I choose to or I choose not to.

Write this down.

Another way of saying is simply to say,

I won't.

For example,

Are you going out for dancing tonight?

Instead of saying,

Oh no,

I can't go tonight.

You say,

No,

Tonight I won't,

But you have fun.

Simple,

Very simple.

I'm not available is also one.

And that's a good one to internalize first for yourself.

Instead of saying,

Oh,

I can't right away,

You internally say,

I'm not available for this.

I don't want to do this.

So I'm not available.

And then you can even say that.

And even though you might be available,

You choose to keep your availability to yourself.

Meaning I'm not available because I want to spend time with myself.

Another thing to substitute is because you might also think,

Yes,

Anja,

But I really can't do that.

Besides of a few things,

And the first thing that comes to mind for me is flying.

I said,

Yes,

Anja,

You're funny,

But I can't fly.

And again,

This is not about the few exceptions.

This is about daily life,

You using words consciously,

And that doesn't have to be 100%.

There's always moments where you choose it anyway.

However,

If someone like I use instead of I can't,

I don't know how to.

Now here's the truth.

I don't know how to fly.

I don't even know if it's possible or not,

But maybe it is possible,

But I don't know how.

So I'm not saying I can't,

Even though I really don't know how.

So let me ask you here in between what is resonating with you?

What is the most valuable substitution or aha moment that you might have?

What's an insight you've gotten already out of it?

And I'm going to repeat,

Give a little extras.

And if you have a question,

Let me know now.

And if you're not able to let it,

Let me know now,

Because you're listening in later,

Leave me a message.

If you have a specific question,

Or maybe you disagree with me,

I want to know.

Let me recap.

Words are powerful.

Energy,

Everything is energy.

Words are powerful.

Words are energy.

And the conscious use of language and your vocabulary and your words will make a huge difference on how you feel about yourself and how others perceive you as well.

Meaning if you are truthful to yourself,

If you are honest and you use empowering words and language,

It will reflect as well.

Not that you're doing that necessarily to get a different result or to have people react a certain way.

However,

It does create more respect on the outside and it creates also more safety because you have stronger boundaries.

If you have a boundary issue,

If you struggle with saying no,

Or with being honest about certain things,

Then do some deeper inner work.

You can do that with me,

You can do that with your coach,

With your mentor,

With your healer,

With a therapist,

Whoever you have,

But then you do get to do some deeper inner work.

And I have a question.

That's a great question.

So one takeaway is,

Or one favorite is I choose not to.

And the question is,

What do you think of,

I'm not interested in doing that?

Yeah,

That's great.

If you're not interested,

That's your honest truth.

Absolutely.

Again,

I can't,

I'm unable and I'm repeating it so that you can really kind of ingrain that.

And you will keep saying it because you won't notice.

I have a very good friend.

I know her for years and years and years and years.

She's on her path.

I've talked about this with her a lot.

Now she's working on it.

And she once said,

If you hear me say this,

Please correct me.

And every time I do,

She thinks she says,

Oh my God,

I can't,

I can't believe she says it again,

Right away.

I can't believe I did this again.

I understand.

I know it takes time.

Be graceful,

Get support.

Maybe you do this with a friend,

Share this with a friend,

Teach this to a friend.

And support each other,

Call each other out,

Not in a judgmental teacher like wife,

But it's like,

Hey,

I don't know if you noticed,

But right now you used it and you told me to remind you.

So you just said you can't.

Take a nice deep breath and tune in.

What's your biggest takeaway?

What are some of the notes you wrote down that are meaningful,

That will make a difference for you and share some of them with me.

And I'm going to give you a few other practical examples,

Just day to day stuff that you can say,

Okay.

I said a few things already.

I choose not to,

I don't want to,

I won't,

Or simply I don't,

I'm not available.

I'm not interested.

Someone says here,

Alyssa,

I don't know how,

I don't know how is a really good one.

If it's for yourself.

Another way of saying no to someone that is inviting you,

For example,

That's just an example,

But I think that's such a common one.

That's such a common one that someone asks you something or someone offers you something.

And instead of saying,

No,

Thank you,

That's the simplest way.

Like,

Do you,

Do you want to come?

Can you come tonight?

Can you help me?

Can you do this?

You could simply say no,

But thank you or no,

Maybe next time.

So very simple.

The other thing that you can say is I already have plans,

But thank you for inviting me.

Now your plans might simply be to stay at home.

Your plans might be watching TV.

I don't care what your plans are,

But you have different plans that are more important.

This is not a priority for you.

And often when I hear I can't sing,

Hey,

Do you want to go and do karaoke tonight?

Oh no,

I can't sing.

Yeah,

Of course you can.

It might sound horrible.

Maybe not.

And you could then say,

Oh no,

I don't like singing because I don't feel comfortable or it doesn't sound good to me.

So I don't want to do it.

I don't feel comfortable,

Whatever it is.

As long as you can speak,

And again,

There might be an exception that there's really physically an injury or something that speaking or singing is not an option for you.

But again,

This is the few occasions and I'm not talking about those,

But as long as you can speak,

You can sing.

As long as you can speak,

You can sing.

How it sounds is maybe a different thing.

So I'm going to leave it as here.

I'm going to leave it here.

I'm going to read some of your biggest takeaways because I find this is always very helpful.

I have one question.

Could you say I'm not available for that?

Absolutely.

Yeah,

I'm not available.

I'm often not available.

Here one of the biggest takeaways to be honest with myself and I choose not to.

Great takeaway.

The being honest with yourself first is so important.

Don't put yourself under pressure that you get to have this nailed down right away overnight because it's not as simple because there are underlying issues that you might want to work on.

Great takeaway.

Another takeaway,

Not to say can't and be aware of how much I use it and turn it around with honest statements.

Beautiful.

Very good takeaway.

Another one,

Big help for telling myself I want to spend time with myself.

And you can say that.

That might be a little bit more advanced for someone.

I really appreciate the offer.

I want to spend time with myself today.

I don't want to go on a walk with you today because I want to be alone.

It doesn't mean I don't like you.

It doesn't mean I'm not going to walk with you another time.

It means I needed some time for myself.

One last takeaway.

My takeaway is how ingrained it is to automatically say I can't so true.

How unaware we are that we are saying it.

Yes,

Yes,

Yes,

Yes.

And you will pay more attention today.

You will hear it now all the time.

I can't hear I can't there out of your own mouth and out of other people's be aware awareness,

Consciousness,

Intentionality,

And you make a choice and then practice,

Practice,

Practice without judgment,

Without pressure,

Love yourself through this process.

What a wonderful thing to learn.

What a wonderful thing to create empowerment so quickly.

Thank you for being here today.

I appreciate you.

Thank you so much for being here today for listen,

Learn,

Grow means the world to me.

I appreciate you.

I love you.

Have a wonderful day and as much as you can today,

Erase I can't and I am unable from what your vocabulary and you will feel more empowered instantly.

Much love.