Covid Best Practices: Thriving In A Time Of Lack

It was funny because I was listening to our last podcast when,

Um,

Just to like prep for this,

I was doing my homework kind of thing and,

Um,

I really,

It was really interesting because that one was really popular because people really liked the practical advice on that one.

And we talked,

I mean,

We talked,

It was only a few months ago,

But it was right before COVID hit,

So that feels like three lifetimes ago at this point,

Because so much has changed in the process and for a lot of people I know in the U S and I don't know how it is in Canada for a lot of people,

You know,

They've lost their jobs.

Um,

They're facing unemployment.

And I really thought you sort of came in at a good time because a lot of people are thinking about opening their own business and starting that area.

And I know that you said when you emailed me,

Like you had new information and I actually on soul fed,

I just worked with a mindset coach and we did,

Um,

We're doing a series right now about negative thinking and combating negative thinking.

And we just dropped that first episode last week.

I know that I've been in this frame of mind too with business because it's like you start your own business and you start doubting yourself and you have,

I think like from an early age,

We learn like in order to be secure,

You have to work for somebody else,

But the reality is that's not really secure either because you could lose your job at any point for any reason,

Something like a pandemic could happen that you have no control over.

So I'd really love to cover some of that today.

I don't know what you were thinking about,

Um,

Coming to the podcast with,

But you know,

Like the,

The,

The idea of like,

Sort of like,

Uh,

You know,

Picking it back up where we left off last time in terms of like,

You know,

Like mindset and like,

You know,

Creating something because creating a business is really hard,

But working for somebody else is really hard too.

So just sort of tackling that area with you.

Okay.

Love it.

Perfect.

Then I'll just dive right in.

Great.

Um,

I was,

Uh,

Okay.

So first I want to,

I want to,

I want you to know,

And you're anyone listening to this,

That I understand the current situation in the U S even though it's not as,

Uh,

Amplified in Canada.

Right.

So we're not getting the social disruption that you guys are getting.

I mean,

There was a little rally.

I remember when the black lives matter came out right at the beginning at a bridge and we're in a small town,

Like four hours north of Toronto,

And it was a small rally,

But then that was it.

Like all the other stuff I'm hearing is from the U S it's not from Canada.

Okay.

So disruptions.

Uh,

No,

That doesn't mean economically,

We're not getting disrupted.

Okay.

Um,

Now what I wanted to share with you is that I actually saw this yesterday.

And I want to,

I want,

I'm sharing this cause I empathize with anyone who's in this situation and the numbers that I got were that again,

It was like midway through June,

I think this was on,

Uh,

NBC's website,

News media website.

It was something like 30% of Americans missed their housing payments in June.

And I think that include rentals too.

Um,

And then,

Uh,

That was halfway through the month.

So they didn't calculate everyone going through the month,

But then on in July,

It was like 32% of people missed their payments in July.

Not good.

Right.

And,

And depending on what sort of federal,

Um,

Incentives to help,

You know,

Employment insurance,

All that stuff that's going to happen,

I don't know if those would be extended or not.

So what I would say is create your own security right out the gate.

So how do you do that?

So let me,

Let me condense 12 years of experience in like in 20 minutes.

If I can,

When I quit my job as an engineer was 2008.

So another crisis,

But still a crisis.

And I was so excited,

Enthusiastic for what I was doing.

And I think that's definitely a quality or element that you want to have,

Because if you're just doing it for money,

That's fine.

You can do just stuff for money,

But you also think about the big picture.

Where do you want to be 10 years from now?

And how can you integrate what you're doing into that?

Now here's the practical side of me talking back then I didn't,

I didn't acknowledge the fact that I had a lot of experience in industry and engineering that I could have capitalized on.

It took me 10 or so years later to realize,

Oh,

You know what?

I could actually help these industrial companies with their marketing.

And,

Um,

You know,

This is going to be one of my best years and probably six or seven years.

And the reason it is,

I mean,

It's better than last year already.

And the reason it is,

Is because these companies that I'm working with now,

Which are companies that I've worked with in the past,

But I didn't see the opportunity,

They always needed help with marketing.

No one wanted to talk to them.

And it's been like that for as long as I've been working with them.

And I,

I threw out nine months ago,

The idea of like,

Well,

Why don't I do your social media is like,

You know,

Hot and stuff,

Why don't I do it for you?

And okay.

And we start invoicing and then we go from there.

Right.

Well,

I get one other client,

I get another client,

Third client,

Fourth client.

I'm like,

Okay,

Wait a minute.

I'm like,

This is really important for these businesses.

So what I would say is that if you have experience in financial services,

Or you have experience in,

Um,

You know,

Cutting hair,

Whatever it is that your,

Your professional experience is,

Think about how you can help these businesses.

Think about how you can take that experience,

That skillset and monetize it in corporate America.

Now,

Because there are a lot of corporate companies that,

You know,

The people are talking about fake money now,

Right?

Cause basically funded by the government and that's why everyone's still working.

And then that's going to go away.

That's true for a certain number of companies,

But there's a lot of industries where they have a lot of cashflow and a lot of money.

And definitely one of them is anything to do with construction.

So if you are a construction worker or you are somehow related to the construction field,

Don't totally walk away from it.

What I'm saying is take that experience and learn how to monetize it back.

If you do yoga and you've been doing yoga all your life and you're a yoga instructor,

You got to get into these corporate companies,

Start doing yoga with them.

They're craving it.

They want it.

So whatever experience that you have the last five,

10 years,

However long you've been working,

I'm saying,

Take that cause that's a gem that's going to propel you and give you the float you need while things are going crazy and there's a lot of disruption so that you'll have the cashflow,

Especially when things are going to be tough over the next,

Over the next year or two.

Now,

The other part of that is when the money starts coming in,

Don't go blow it all.

Like at some point you want to see if you can live off less than half of your income.

And if you can do that and can create a business around it and you're going to start like I did,

You're going to start just going in as an hourly consultant or an hourly contractor,

And you're going to try to figure stuff out for them.

You're not going to have any fees.

You're not even gonna know what the pricing is,

But as you start working for these companies,

Whatever you charge them,

25 bucks an hour,

50 bucks an hour,

A hundred bucks an hour,

You go in whatever,

And you say,

Well,

Steve,

How do you come up with that rate?

Well,

One is what are you,

What's your value?

You know,

You know what you're worth per hour,

What your work's worth.

Um,

And then second is what's going to get them to just say yes.

Like I'm,

I need about 20 hours a week for the next six weeks at $50 an hour.

Yes.

They say,

Yes,

Go in there.

And you're like,

Man,

I'm really,

It really getting underpaid.

Put your ego aside,

Put your pride aside and put your entitlement.

You know how we always talk about,

Uh,

The year before.

The younger generation's entitled.

No,

No,

You're entitled to,

You're listening to this and you're like,

Oh,

I'm worth more.

No,

No,

You're being entitled.

What you're not seeing is the bigger picture is that if you go in at the lower hourly rate,

Help them,

You're going to see big,

You're going to see a hundred thousand dollar deals.

So go in,

Just charge an alley,

Really,

Really help them.

And then as you're helping them,

Keep looking for opportunity to help them some more.

Then while you're getting the hourly rate,

Go out and then you can invoice them through your company that you set up as an LLC or whatever.

But that's the beginning.

Don't walk away from your experience.

I think that there's a couple of things I want to say to that.

I think you bring up some really great points.

Um,

I think that some of it could be entitlement,

But I think that a lot of people too are worried because,

You know,

They have families to support.

And is this money going to be enough?

And when you're an independent contractor,

You have to think about,

Okay,

Now I'm paying my own insurance.

I'm doing,

I mean,

In the United States you do,

Cause we're not as cool as Canada.

We don't have the socialized medicine,

But you have to think about all these things that you have to sort of do separately,

Um,

To take that leap.

And that can be really scary because you're not sure,

You know,

I think for a lot of people it's,

I hate my job.

Um,

I want to leave,

Or at least it was before the pandemic.

I hate my job.

I want to leave.

I want to go do something else,

But I'm afraid of what that's going to look like for me financially.

And that's why a lot of people don't live their dreams.

I think that you're right though.

I think that especially in the time of COVID,

My feeling personally on this whole thing is that everything is.

Never going to,

It's not going to go back to the way it was before this.

Things are going to be done differently.

Companies are working remotely.

I think in terms of like,

Yes,

Like,

Uh,

You need to find what your niche is going to be in that,

Because this is sort of like,

We're,

We're in wild West territory and a lot of people are talking about lack,

But I think in situations like this,

There's always opportunity to thrive and you need to find what that is.

So in terms of like the yoga teacher,

It's like,

Yeah,

Now a lot of corporate companies,

I know in San Francisco,

A lot of the tech companies,

And I used to work for some of them,

Some of them,

They would give you a gym membership.

And so now you can't go to the gym.

All the gyms are closed.

So it's like,

As a yoga teacher,

This is a great opportunity to put yourself online and say,

Hey,

I'm offering this wellness package,

You know,

As a,

Uh,

Whatever as,

As anything,

Like just looking at the other city.

All right.

Give you another example.

So I'm talking to this guy owns a gym in the UK and I won't name his name,

But I said to him two,

Three months ago,

I said,

What happens if the gym doesn't open in six months?

Like trouble.

Right.

And I said,

You've got to think that way.

You got to think of the risk.

What's the biggest risk.

Well,

Gym memberships,

People are canceling.

Like you said,

So he had this app that he developed six months ago,

But the app,

He was trying to sell it onesies twosies at like whatever,

Five or $10 a month,

I said,

That's not going to pay the bills,

Dude.

Here's what I would do.

You got this app.

He's worked with a school.

So I said,

What were they paying you?

I think it was like a thousand pounds a month.

I said,

Really?

I said,

Okay,

How big is the school?

And they said,

Okay,

What about if we work with a bigger company,

Someone who's got like three to 50 employees,

Because now you can pay per user,

Right.

You just sell to the company and all these 250 users.

He goes,

Ah,

That'd be about 5,

000 pounds a month.

I said,

Now you've got four clients at 5,

000 pounds a month.

You do the math,

20,

000 pounds.

You ask,

It's going to be 25,

30,

000 a month with four clients.

You only got to get one person to say yes,

You get two,

You've got your family taken care of.

You get four.

Now you're living it.

Now you take that extra 10,

000,

Whatever it is to do the thing you really want,

Because you have choices.

Most people don't have choices.

Now,

What I'm saying is take the experience.

So he has,

He just,

His experience is in the gym.

It's an exercise and sin,

Developing energy and creating less absenteeism for employees.

I said,

This is the thing to sell,

Man.

Because.

First of all,

Corporate clients,

Uh,

These bigger companies have the money too.

Um,

They're really struggling to keep people.

Cause like you said,

People are freaking out and be like,

I'm done with this.

I hate,

I've been doing this too long.

I hate it.

They need to re-engage these people before it's too late.

So,

Uh,

Instead of selling onesie twosies,

Sell the 500 employee company,

Sell four of those and then go from there.

And then use that to keep your gym going.

So you got to really reinvent yourself now.

You'd be like,

Well,

You know,

I,

If I own a gym and I own the yoga studio and it's like,

Well go corporate yoga.

That's why I keep saying go corporate yoga,

Set up 5,

000 us sell to bigger companies.

Now I'll tell you what my objections were initially with,

With these bigger companies.

This sales,

Like it takes too long.

I'm used to like pitch,

Make the offer.

Someone's like buys in two weeks done.

But this is the thing I was totally overlooking.

And it,

And maybe people that are,

Um,

Kind of thinking about this now are overlooking it too.

It's like,

If you were persistent and consistently following up with that person and there's actual desire there to buy your services and it takes three months,

Stay in your job,

Hold out,

Get that first deal at five,

Whatever it is.

Right.

Once you get the first one and then you realize,

Wait a minute,

This is 5,

000 that comes in every month.

You'd have a $60,

000 client that you've just signed.

You signed two,

Three of those.

You replace your income.

So what I'm saying is stay in your job,

Use that to keep your gym going.

Use the thing that you hate to give you energy at night and during the weekend to do the things that you need to do,

Which you're not going to do because you feel uncomfortable when I say you've got to get uncomfortable,

Do it.

My big thing was a mindset thing.

I wasn't looking at it long-term.

I was looking at short term.

Uh,

They're not going to buy in the next month.

I need money now.

Well,

Then every month becomes like,

I need money now.

If you get the long-term clients,

Then all of a sudden you're like,

Oh yeah,

I'm taking care of now.

Right.

I can move on to the next thing.

I don't know.

What are your thoughts on that?

No,

I mean,

I think you're absolutely right.

And you know,

For me,

It was kind of one of those things where I was sort of finishing a job and like at the time I was like,

I don't want to like,

Like,

I want to start working on my vision,

You know,

So it's like my background is like,

I worked in reality TV for a long time and I just didn't want to do that anymore.

Like I didn't want to put that.

I just felt like there was a lot of negativity and I didn't want to put that into the world and I want to do something more.

I want to take my technical skills because I was an editor and a producer and I want to take my technical skills and bring them with my passion,

Combine them with my passion,

Which was self-development meditation,

Working out.

And that's how I created soul fed.

So like,

Really it's like,

I think you're absolutely right.

It's like taking,

Taking what you do,

Taking what you've been paid to be good at and come in if you,

If you don't like that,

Combine that with your passion,

Like figure out like how to make that work and sort of like,

Because I know that I wake up in the morning and it's not easy.

I'm not going to,

You know,

Sit here and say,

Oh,

I just,

Everything just works out.

Like you have to fight for it.

But I wake up excited,

You know,

I wake up,

I get to work on the website.

I wake up excited to make new content because it's mine.

It's like,

It's what I want to create and put out there in the world.

So absolutely a hundred.

So,

So I'll share my,

My,

Uh,

My,

The last five years because it's been evolution.

So,

Uh,

Initially I left my job back in 2000,

I think it was nine.

And then I went back to a job two years later because it was basically like,

I couldn't fund our lifestyle and we were still mortgaging all that good stuff.

So what I did was I was working for this company and I kept,

I w and then I worked for another company and it was the same pattern,

Right?

And we're going to this come,

This come.

I'm like,

I'm still not happy.

And I remember a friend of mine said,

He goes,

Steve,

You're not gonna be happy until you're working for yourself,

Which is today.

Now,

What I'm saying,

Is that from then working in a job to today was a period of years and to,

Um,

A change in energy that doesn't happen automatically.

It's not like,

And I'll tell you what I mean by that is that about even three years ago,

I was like,

I'm not a CEO.

I don't want to be a CEO.

I just want to be a marketing guy.

And that was the problem right now,

If you ask me,

I'm like,

No,

No,

I'm a CEO.

I'm right.

It's,

It's part of my energy.

It's part of who I am.

So this energy transformation,

You've got to be patient with it and you got to give it time.

So what I did was,

Um,

I actually got laid off from the last job that I had,

Not surprisingly.

Um,

It wasn't what I wanted.

So I get laid off.

Um,

Typical Steve,

I like the day it happens the next day,

I'm like,

Jump up and I go apply for another job.

And,

Um,

Cause it didn't phase me.

I was like,

It just,

I just,

I just was like celebrating the fact that I rek,

Recognize that,

You know,

That they didn't need me and that I didn't want to be there.

The energy just wasn't there.

So then I go and interview with this other company thinking it's going to be different.

And I,

I lasted two weeks and I quit.

Okay.

And I remember when I walked out the door and this is key for anyone listening to this is that I,

They gave me a truck,

The pickup,

Brand new pickup truck.

I got rid of that.

I got rid of the laptop.

I got rid of the phone.

It was all this extra crap I didn't want.

Yeah.

And I freaking drove off.

I wrote in resignation letter.

I went take,

Talk to HR that the CEO found it later and I walked out the door and I felt relief and that's,

And that's important.

You got to feel relief.

If you want to know if you're moving in the right direction,

It's not if you have money in your bank account because you might not have money in your bank account.

And I totally get it.

You might be living off a line of credit,

Which we did for a long time.

So what I'm saying is that you're going to feel relief.

That means you're moving in the right direction for you.

Okay.

So if you're listening to this and you're like,

I feel relief cause I made this choice,

You're moving in the right direction.

That's where you need to go.

And I also want to interject here and just say that like once you start moving in that direction,

All these things start happening.

Like that's kind of what happened for me.

I was like,

I mean,

I had some savings but I didn't know,

You know,

I didn't know like,

Yeah,

I'm going to go in the right direction and things just started working out like little things.

Like one day I went downtown and I forgot my wallet and I was at a parking meter and like I didn't know what I was going to do.

I didn't know how I was going to pay for the parking meter.

And this guy just came up to me and he like worked for the city and he was like,

What's wrong?

Like he saw me from across the street and he was like,

What's wrong?

And I was like,

Oh,

I forgot my wallet at home.

I don't know how I'm going to pay for this meter.

And he was like,

I got you.

And he pulls out this big key ring and it had all these key cards.

And this was like the day that I had decided that I wasn't going to look for a job and soul fed was just going to be it for me.

And he pulled out this large key ring and it had like all these white key cards on it.

And he just put one in there and he was like,

You have two hours,

Have a nice day.

And it was like,

The universe was saying like,

Don't worry about it.

You're going to be taken care of,

Like,

Just keep going,

You know?

And it's like,

Yeah,

Just keep going.

And I think that's really important to stress out because we tend to worry and we worry for a reason,

Right?

We worry so that we can like see the problem,

We can problem solve.

But for a lot of us that goes beyond that,

And we tend to see things a lot of times that go wrong,

We tend to see things a lot of times that don't ever happen.

And I think that like,

It's hard to see,

Especially the family,

Like I have the luxury of not having children.

So I know that that's more expensive and you know,

It gets into all this stuff,

But like,

It'll work out,

You know,

If this is really what you want to do.

And I also want to stress,

Like,

You know,

Last time we talked about feelings and feelings are so important and I,

And I love that you bring the practical element to it.

Um,

But like,

You have to feel like it's success.

Like even with me,

It's like,

I know there's a long way to go,

But I already know this is out there and it's big and you just have to feel that way because if you don't like on the days when you were talking about energy,

Well,

Energy dips too.

So some days you're super excited and other days you're like,

Oh,

There's a million things to do.

I don't want to do anything.

Is this ever going to work out for me?

And it's,

If you don't know in your mind that you're going to succeed,

That when those days happen,

You're just going to give up because I know I've been there before.

Here's,

Here's a note,

A way to know that if you're stopping yourself,

And it's just something that I learned from Wayne Dyer and read over and over and over again,

And,

Um,

God bless his soul.

This,

This has really hit me.

He said,

You gotta have a,

If you have a,

Uh,

Two lists,

Okay.

On the left is,

Uh,

Things that you're willing to do.

Okay.

And then on the right is things that you're willing not to do.

He goes,

The right side should be empty.

You have to be willing to do what it takes to have your dream.

So one part of it,

You're talking about the mindset of being like in a state of having and feeling and knowing it's coming,

That faith that's important.

And you know,

I am,

I am,

Uh,

You can,

You can use these affirmations that I use all the time,

But one of the set that I use,

I got three,

Four different sets,

But they're so automatic that I'll hear myself saying to them when I'm like writing an email or something.

And it's like,

You know,

I'm patient,

I'm peaceful.

I'm a profit center.

I am patient.

I am peaceful.

I'm a profit center.

When you start to think what it feels like,

And it looks like to be a profit center,

It's like,

There's money coming in,

There's money going out,

But less going out than coming in.

You're a profit center.

That's you.

That's anyone listening to this.

So I'm patient,

I'm peaceful.

I'm a profit center.

Okay.

Now,

So you're saying that to yourself,

You start to feel that the thing that you want is happening,

That business,

That dream.

That's fantastic.

Now the dream is coming to you.

Now what's going to happen is you're going to be called to action.

And this is where most people get stuck.

It's like your willingness to take action and do it,

To make the phone call,

Something that I was sharing with you again,

To be really practical.

So on the marketing side in the last four months,

Um,

I was like,

I'm going to try this.

I go through my contact list on my phone and I'm like manufacturing,

Engineering,

Industrial construction.

Oh,

I haven't talked to this guy in 10 years message.

He writes me back.

Yeah.

I'd like to sit up a meeting with you.

Boom.

Becomes a client.

Like like nine days.

So like,

You probably have your first two or three clients on your phone,

Right?

They're on your phone,

But you'd say,

Well,

Okay,

Well,

What am I going to send?

And all this stuff that will,

That will show up at the right time.

But the pop,

The problem is that we will look at our phone.

We're like,

Well,

I can't message that person.

Well,

This is where it's really important that what you have as a service is so valuable.

Like in your mind,

It's so valuable that if people did not buy it from you,

They would be missing out.

They would be really missing out that.

Yes.

So then,

So my thinking behind this is that when I get into someone's in front of someone and they want to do social media,

And then they say no,

Which never happens because I'm sitting there and I'm like,

They're just feeling my energy.

And they're also like,

Well,

I asked them to come here cause I want to do social media.

It's always a yes.

The only time it's a no is if they're not ready to do social media yet,

Or they're not even interested in doing it,

Then I wouldn't be talking to them.

But for the people who are,

I know that if I don't make sure that they buy for me in either that meeting or the next meeting or how many meetings it takes,

Cause I'm willing to do what it takes.

If it's going to take five meetings,

I'll have five meetings.

I'll drive there.

I'll take five meetings.

Right.

I'll do five zoom meetings until they say yes.

Oh,

Well,

We brought in our CFO.

Okay.

What's the C did you have any questions?

Any reason why you wouldn't be doing this?

And the CFO is like,

No,

I can't see any reason why I said,

Okay,

Great.

I'll send you guys an invoice.

When do you want to start?

Right.

So if you believe what you have is so valuable that the people that they don't get it,

They're really going to be missing out on it.

And if they don't get it,

They're really going to be missing out.

Then you know,

You've got something amazingly valuable to share,

Right?

And that's where you have to come from that mindset.

Now,

As you're working part time,

You might be developing that.

You're not really sure it took me some time to develop that.

And then once you deliver and it,

And then once you start to get client feedback and it just,

It's all consuming,

It's like,

Well,

Holy Jesus came,

This became real.

This thing that I believe became real.

So my dream was always like,

It was really simple.

It was like,

I want to work three days a week.

I want to work from home.

And I want to be able to travel.

And that's where I,

And the other day we were canoeing on the Lake.

I'm like,

Holy crap,

It happened.

Holy crap.

You know,

One thing that you want to do is you can do when you wake up in the morning is instead of being like,

I have to do this,

Be like,

I get to do this.

Right.

Especially with the things that you're like,

I'm not willing to do this.

No,

You're,

You get to do that.

You're fortunate to get to do that.

Because you're not working over more or you're working part time or it's your dream.

That's the only reason.

And you get to do it.

Universe chose you.

I think that's a really important point.

Changing your vocabulary too.

And how you,

You talk about things,

Right?

Oh,

I have to wake up today and do this.

I get to do this today.

That's awesome.

I get to create this website.

I get to do this.

I get to do this.

I get to do this website.

I get to talk to clients.

I get to sell my product,

Whatever it is.

I think that that's a really important point.

You get to do it.

It's a privilege.

You're privileged being alive now at this point in time,

Doing this thing because it's a privilege.

Absolutely.

And if you look at that way,

That alone,

If you're in a job you hate right now and you come every day for 30 days,

Looking into your job is I get to do this because this is what's coming to me and I get to do this.

Guess what's going to happen.

You're going to be getting a way better job or way better opportunity because the grateful person is just a fountain of opportunity and abundance.

Well,

That's the thing too.

And if you look at any company from a boss's perspective,

It's like you could have somebody that's highly skilled at something,

But if they're pessimistic and they come into work every day complaining,

You know,

And,

But you have somebody who doesn't have maybe the skillset,

They're eager to learn and they're positive and they're always willing to help.

Well,

If it comes down to it,

Guess who they're keeping.

You know,

I mean it really is about having a positive mind frame because that energy is contagious.

Just like walking into a meeting,

Like you were saying a sales and knowing that your product is so valuable that if these people don't get it,

They're missing out.

That type of confidence,

People can feel that.

So yeah.

Yeah.

And then the other thing is,

I mean if some,

If,

If the boss or the president,

The owner and you work with them directly or VP,

Or whoever,

They're always going to be like,

Who's the biggest headache,

Right?

Oh,

It's,

It's this woman here or it's this guy.

Yeah.

He comes in lane all the time.

She's always complaining all the time.

I'm out of here.

Yeah.

I mean,

Or get rid of him.

Yeah.

So,

So absolutely you get to do this is so important because that's what you're here to do.

You get to do it.

And then guess what happens is that work becomes,

Play,

It becomes fun.

Yeah.

Right.

So if your work is fun and play,

You're going to do more of it.

Cause it's fun to do.

That's why kids play all the time.

We're adults should be playing all the time to my take on it.

Play,

Play,

Play.

You'll be in a better mood for it.

Absolutely.

That is totally my philosophy.

And I think that you're absolutely right.

And happiness is a choice,

Right?

It happens with the thoughts that we have.

So a lot of people think that,

Oh,

When I get that car,

Or when I get that dream job or when I start that business,

That's when I'm going to be happy.

But you know,

As somebody who like worked in Hollywood,

Let me tell you,

How many stars do you know who had it all?

They had,

You know,

The,

The amazing career,

They flew everywhere.

They had all the money.

They had like the best looking spouse.

They had everything.

And yet,

You know,

They OD'd on drugs or they were completely depressed or,

You know,

They're popping some sort of pill or something.

Like,

It's not,

It's not an external factor.

So it doesn't matter.

Like you could be stuck in traffic for two hours and you could choose to be happy in that traffic.

You know,

You could be at a job that you hate and you can,

Like you said,

You can make it into a game.

You can make it fun because ultimately I think that like,

You know,

My philosophy is that that's what life is.

It's kind of like a big video game,

You know,

Totally.

Yeah.

And we just get to be here and just play around and tinker with stuff and see what happens.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like it's,

Instead of obsessing what's happening on social media or checking your phone first thing in the morning,

Which I know a lot of people do,

I know I,

I very rarely do it.

I very rarely do it unless I'm checking in on a contractor or someone I'm working with.

I very rarely do it.

The first two,

Three hours a day is for me.

I do stretches,

I do yoga,

I do breathing,

I do meditation.

I do sometimes I'll go for a run,

Whatever it is.

I take care of me once I'm set,

Then I go in and then I get out in the world,

But I don't do it before then.

Um,

But a good example of like celebrities too,

Is Anthony Bourdain who committed suicide.

I watched an interview with,

Um,

Someone who was a close to him very recently,

Like last week.

And this guy that was very close to him was saying that,

Um,

He was a people pleaser.

He just loved to please people.

Well,

He went to such an extreme of trying to please people,

Whatever you needed,

He would be there.

You needed to do the show another year,

Do the show,

Even though he didn't want to,

He was a people pleaser.

That's not going to serve you.

If that was serving you in your job,

That's not going to serve you in the future.

This new shift that everyone's going through,

What's going to serve you is what brings you joy.

Because the thing that brings you joy is going to bring other people joy too.

You're going to inspire and it's going to,

It's going to,

It's going to affect and impact and amplify on them.

Well,

And going back to Bourdain too,

He has a really interesting backstory because he started as,

He was a cook at some restaurant in New York in Hell's Kitchen,

I think.

And he wrote,

What did he write?

He wrote some article or something and he pushed it out there and that sort of like launched him into fame.

But he,

I think kind of took the mindset that he,

So his entire reality shifted and became something else,

But his mind didn't shift.

And so he,

He was a cook at some restaurant and so that sort of,

You know,

It doesn't,

It like,

Even if you're doing what you always thought you were going to do,

But you were completely unhappy before you did it.

And like Anthony Bourdain,

I mean,

He's impacted a lot of people.

I don't,

Honestly,

Outside of Prince,

I can't think of a celebrity that,

That in my circle,

People were more crushed about at least,

You know,

Like,

You know,

When you saw Anthony Bourdain show,

It made you happy.

And so I couldn't see it in your mirror.

And I think Elle actually did a little interview.

There's a couple of old coming up S o I study to anything out of this,

Even your dream,

It's to,

It's to,

It's to really to connect to you who you are.

Because if you connect to who you are,

You're always be happy.

Yeah.

That's huge.

And that,

Yeah,

Like that is ultimately the biggest thing.

Like you need to connect to yourself,

Right?

It's like all of this stuff of like,

Oh,

I want to be a movie star.

I want to be a rock star or even I want to be an accountant,

Whatever it is.

None of it matters because the problem too is like,

You know,

You brought up an interesting point with Anthony Bourdain is that he's a people,

He was a people pleaser.

And I think a lot of people are,

And you have to get to the point where your opinion of yourself matters more than the outside world's opinion,

Because ultimately there's always going to be people who don't like you.

There's always going to be,

You know,

People who don't approve or give you the attention that you're craving on whatever level.

And that's something you can't control.

And the more you focus on the things that you can't control,

The more out of control your life is.

So until you get to a point which,

And I always bring it back to this because I think that this is so important,

But until you get to a point where you completely love yourself and you're satisfied with the work that you produce for you,

Not anyone else,

But like specifically for you,

Then it doesn't matter how,

Like how much you chase after compliments and how many compliments you get or how many people you get to love you.

It will never be real because there will always be more.

There was a,

Just to build on this topic,

There was a video I watched of Justin Timberlake and it's a dated video.

It's like,

I don't know,

Maybe six,

Maybe eight years ago.

But he says backstage to everyone that is the talent,

Right,

That performs with them.

He goes,

He said this and I was just like,

It took me a few years to understand it.

He said that you're doing this for you.

He goes,

You're not doing it for them.

He said that he's the guy who runs the whole show,

Right?

He's like,

You're doing this for you.

You're here for you.

You're not here for them.

James Belushi,

I mean,

I'm dating myself a bit,

But he died as well.

He's a comedian,

But like Robin Williams,

The,

You know,

This disease to please,

It's a really important to recognize that if you're doing something for someone else,

That's fine as long as it gives you joy.

So I'll tell you,

I'll tell you a personal story,

Steve.

I at one time,

Um,

Wanted to be an actress and I had a friend who was a producer in LA.

This is sort of how I got involved with all of this stuff.

And he called me one day and he said,

I'm casting for this show and I'm casting for this wedding coordinator.

And all I keep thinking is I really need a bitch like Maria.

It's like,

I'm going to call her and see if she'll,

You know,

She'll audition for the show.

So I wasn't a wedding coordinator.

You know,

I think we've come like long enough for everybody to know that reality shows are fake.

And,

Um,

I auditioned for this role and I got it and I,

It was the first thing I had ever done.

And at the time I really had no idea.

I just had this friend who just thought you would be great on camera,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

So I auditioned for it.

I got it.

Um,

It was on WeTV.

We went,

We did a season in new Orleans.

It was about a 24 hour wedding chapel and I played the bad guy,

You know,

Like I played the sassy take no prisoners wedding coordinator.

So in my head I thought,

Oh,

Everybody knows that this is a character that I'm playing.

So when the show premiered,

Everybody on the crew was like,

Whatever you do,

Don't look at the message boards.

Don't look at Twitter.

Don't look at,

You know,

Whatever,

Instagram,

Whatever.

So of course,

Like,

You know,

You tell me not to push the button and I'm going to push the button.

So I look on Twitter and literally all the tweets were all about my character and they were,

They were either good or they were bad,

But there was no in between.

And the bad ones were terrible.

Like,

Like mean,

Mean,

Mean things like attacking my looks,

Attacking this,

Attacking that.

And at the time I didn't have the skin that I have now.

I mean,

It was a great lesson for me,

But I made myself miserable even though I had actually something that I wanted,

Like I was on TV,

I did this whole thing.

I was so upset that people that I didn't know and that I was never going to meet didn't like me and didn't have something positive to say about me that it ruined the experience for me.

And like,

So that's the thing.

It's like until you get to a point where you can just say like,

Oh,

You know what,

That's fine.

This is this person's opinion.

And like it is honestly none of your business,

What other people think,

Because the minute you make it your business,

You're going to be miserable.

Doesn't matter what you're doing.

That's a great share by the way.

Um,

There was,

There was a,

There was a,

I haven't got anything like so much hate comments,

But I had a comment last week on a video that I posted something about,

You know,

The captions or whatever,

Or not edited and it makes it look less professional.

And I told my,

I was at my parents' house and I said,

I got this quote unquote negative,

But that's not really a negative comment.

And she said,

What are you going to do?

And I said,

Nothing.

I said,

Hey,

I said,

Most people don't post anything on social media because of the fear of judgment.

She's one of those people.

She needs this to have a perfect,

But she posts and guess what?

It will never be perfect.

There will always be that comment.

And I got them in the beginning.

It was really like when I first started publishing a lot of videos,

But you,

You,

You grow this,

Uh,

This confidence in what you believe in and you grow this muscle,

Like you said,

Kind of the skin,

But it's more of like,

It's more of like,

I don't know how to explain it at some point.

Your self image doesn't encapsulate any sort of hate.

I'm only projecting love in anything that I share anyways.

So if hate comes back,

It can only be meant from the person that is manifesting it.

It's not a reflection of me.

It's a reflection of where that person's at emotionally.

Exactly.

Good conversation.

Exactly.

Because you know what?

Like,

That's the thing.

And,

Um,

You know,

Like reality TV,

It's like,

It's,

It was one of those things that I realized and social media is sort of the new Roman Coliseum in a lot of ways,

You know,

Where it's like people who feel unhappy with their lives are unsatisfied will sit behind a keyboard and they can just criticize and freely do.

And it's not just,

You know,

With like reality TV,

It's with everything,

Right.

Everybody's got an opinion on everything.

I mean,

You go on Facebook and everybody's criticizing everybody else and there's fighting and like,

You know,

I mean,

If you look at the current political atmosphere in the United States,

I mean,

It's,

It's literally a country that is divided and,

You know,

People are just attacking other people and I understand.

But if you get to a point where you're happy with yourself and you,

You master yourself and like,

Like you filter the thoughts that you have and everything that you have is in terms of like,

How do I thrive?

Right.

Because if you look at the media,

All it is is like lack,

Lack,

Everything's falling.

Um,

You know,

Don't even try.

Everyone's getting evicted,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

You know,

Trafficking just everything that's miserable in the world,

Which yes,

I'm not saying you turn a blind eye to it,

But until you create your foundation and you're solid,

You can't really deal with any of that stuff.

So instead of taking in the lack,

Like,

Like for example,

With the pandemic in the United States,

I don't know how the news is in Canada,

But here it's like,

You know,

Everything is falling and the economy is falling,

All of this stuff,

But I'm,

But you can still thrive.

And I think that's why it's important to do podcasts like this because it's like,

You can look at something like this pandemic and like you were saying,

You gave a lot of great advice.

It's like,

Look at what you're doing and how do you apply that to corporate America?

Because there is money.

Even though they're telling you there is no money,

There is money.

You just have to find it and you have to train your mind to look for prosperity.

Yeah.

And in easy way is I am patient,

I'm peaceful.

I'm a profit center.

You just say that to yourself in the morning at night,

Three times a day for five minute,

You know,

Extent.

That's your affirmation.

Do that for a few weeks.

See what happens.

That starts to change the biology or psychology and the energy that you admit and attract.

Now what's interesting is that like there's a lot of innovation right now too.

Um,

And because of that there is going to be,

I mean,

I'm on something that I haven't really publicly shared,

But it's something I developed because of my passion for my clients.

I was,

This whole thing broke up with COVID.

I was so consumed with like,

How,

How can I help my clients and serve them?

I started creating some things which are now things that are,

Is IP that I can license that didn't exist six months ago.

So I think if you,

You focus on being resourceful,

Right.

And being of the source,

Right.

And the doubt of being of the source.

Yeah.

Being observed.

How can I be of service?

Yeah.

Yeah.

What can I do?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And based on your experience,

It might be something from the past.

That's fine.

I'm saying honor that,

Acknowledge that,

You know,

And if you got kids and they're struggling with their self image or they're getting struggling with worry or that sort of stuff,

I would give the same advice to someone.

Cause I have some nieces that are like nine and 11 years old and I give them the same advice that I've given an apparent adult,

Someone who's 40 or 90.

It's the same advice.

Write down 10 things every day that is awesome about you.

Yeah.

10 awesome things.

And I bet if you were to do it right after this podcast,

You probably come up with one or two and then you'll quit.

That's why you're struggling because you're not resourceful.

You gotta be of the source.

And so the way to do that is to come up with those things.

And sometimes it's very simple.

I was canoeing on the weekend and the breeze on my neck was amazing.

Um,

You know,

I'm,

I feel grateful that I have someone that I married 13 years ago that I'm still with.

Um,

I'm grateful that I woke up this morning and didn't have any back pain.

It's like simple things that you can acknowledge and say,

This is what's awesome about,

I get to work from home today.

Every day.

If you do that,

That will change your self image.

It's going to also change the way you act,

Feel and think about opportunity.

Yes.

That's the,

That's the,

That's the beginning of it.

So,

And you have to be grounded and conscious because the negativity will keep coming.

It'll keep,

You know,

And you have to,

Every time you notice those thoughts,

I think it's really important to notice those thoughts and say,

Okay,

This is what I'm noticing right now.

How do I flip that?

Like if you're having a morning where you're like,

Oh,

I'm a failure.

Oh,

Okay.

I just noticed I said I'm a failure.

You know what?

I'm a complete success.

And even if you don't believe it in the beginning,

Just switch it.

I,

Um,

I teach this manifestation meditation and part of it is,

Um,

Like you write down your story,

You write down the end result of what you want to see just to get really clear on it.

And then you sit down and you meditate and you just,

You think about somebody that you really love,

Like you fill yourself up with love and then you think about that scene.

You just play it in your head and you just do it every day until you get really clear on it.

Because I think once you have a point and you're laser focused on it,

It makes it easier to just sort of be lying to that.

So yeah.

Awesome.

Awesome.

I guess that's all we can talk about.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's it.

Wow.

That went really fast.

I can't believe it's a noon.

Um,

Well,

Steve,

It's always a pleasure to have you on the show.

Thank you so much for coming and I don't even think I introduced you,

But the man,

A man who needs no introduction.

Um,

Uh,

Until next time,

Cause I have a feeling there'll probably be a part three,

So hold on one second.

I'm going to end this really quick and then we can talk.