122. Nurture The Soul: 3 Tools For Internal Growth

Kabbalists teach that when two friends come together for the purpose of sharing,

The purpose of spiritual connection,

Then the light,

What we call the light of the Creator,

Comes and rests upon them in a way that they can never achieve on their own.

Welcome to Spiritually Hungry.

Today we're going to speak about something that is,

I think,

On the top of all of our minds,

Especially this weekend,

And that is the topic of nurturing the soul.

My mother-in-law and mentor,

Karen Berg,

Was asked this question a lot.

People would come to her and say,

I'm so busy with life,

And I have a good life,

It's good enough,

I'm pretty successful.

Why do I need to carve out time for spiritual practice or spirituality?

And her answer was,

It's a good question to which I could pose another.

How can we be too busy for spirituality when without the Spirit,

We would have nothing to be busy with?

Feeding the body is how we survive,

But feeding our soul allows us to thrive.

When the soul is fed,

The body shines bright.

So I love this first starting point because I think most people,

Even if they're curious about spirituality,

Or even if they find a place for it,

They think it's important,

It's not on the top of the list.

Because the way the mind works is,

I need to first make sure that I'm successful,

That I have a business,

I have a career,

A family,

A home,

All the things that society tells us that we should pursue.

When we grow up,

No one is really teaching us.

We're trying to change that here.

But teaching children,

Spirit is more important than any other pursuit of the mind or the body.

Spirit needs to be taken care of.

And actually,

It's something that if you're lucky enough,

You stumble upon it as you get older and you find it.

But still then,

You're like,

That's not the main thing.

The main thing is I have to make sure I have safety,

Security for myself and for my family.

So with that mindset,

Spirituality becomes something that you visit,

Maybe weekly at a class or if you read a spiritual book or even if you go to church or you come to Shabbat,

Whatever it is you do,

It's something you visit,

But it's not the central point.

And then we think,

Once I have all those things that the world's told me makes me successful or worthwhile or that I've arrived,

Then I will put focus on my spirituality.

It's also the way I think that the United States is kind of backwards,

Right?

I'm going to have that life that I want where I can be leisurely,

Go around reading,

Traveling the world once I retire.

Whereas in Europe,

They close shop a couple hours a day,

You enjoy life,

You take naps,

You drink wine,

Eat lots of chocolate,

Live a different life.

It's very much part of the experience.

So I hope with tonight's topic,

We really awaken people to that idea that spirit,

Addressing the spirit is actually the most important thing.

For sure,

For sure.

So as Monica said,

Very exciting for all of our friends here in the room.

We are towards the unfortunate end of this spiritually hungry retreat.

And also excited for all of our listeners who will be hearing this throughout the world.

And as Monica said,

Our topic tonight is nurturing our soul and the importance of it.

I would like to point out one thing which I find a little bit funny.

And that is that as many of you know,

Certainly those of you who listen to the Spiritually Hungry podcast,

I often prepare with notes and I forgot my notes in my room.

So this is the first spiritually hungry episode that I'm doing without any notes.

Hopefully I remember some of them in my mind.

Well,

I wouldn't clap yet if you don't know how it's going to be,

Right?

So let's see.

You can clap afterwards.

They're trying to encourage you.

Oh,

Thank you.

Thank you.

Certainty.

But when I think about this topic,

And this was in my notes,

There's one teaching around this topic that stays with me every day of my life.

I've shared this before,

But many of you here in the room know that my father had his teacher in life,

Rabranwine.

And one of the ways that we are blessed to be able to learn from their relationship is the fact that Rabranwine,

His teacher,

Would send him,

My father was living in New York and his teacher was living in Jerusalem,

And my father's teacher,

Rabranwine,

Would send him letters with teachings,

With inspiration.

And for me,

When I had the merit to both find the letters and then prepare them for print,

For me,

These aren't just beautiful teachings,

Additional teachings.

For me,

They formed almost the foundation of my spiritual understanding.

And in one of the letters,

Rabranwine is talking to my father,

To the rabbi in the 1960s,

And he says to him,

He says,

You know,

I am not hearing enough from you about how your spiritual studies and your spiritual work are progressing.

And if you look through the writings,

And you know,

Unfortunately today it's not as prevalent,

But you have writings between teacher and student,

But over the past at least 100 years,

Between kabbalists and their students,

One of the fundamental requests that the teacher always had from his students,

So it's Rabashlag to his students,

Rabranwine to the rab,

Is please write to me often about your spiritual studies and your spiritual work.

And whenever Rabashlag,

Who was my father's teacher's teacher,

The founder of the Kabbalah Center,

Did not receive often enough letters,

He would write in very strong terms to his students,

You cannot grow unless you are investing in your study,

In your spiritual work.

And to what Monica was saying before,

I can guarantee that most of us,

Most of us are not investing as much as we need to in our studies and our spiritual work,

Even though I know all of us here take it relatively seriously,

We flew all the way down to Mexico to come to the spiritually hungry retreat,

But there's so much more that we are meant to achieve,

There's so much more connection that we are meant to accomplish.

So for me,

When I think about this topic,

The fundamental teaching is this,

In one of the letters,

Rabranwine,

My father's teacher,

Says to him,

I haven't heard from you recently about your study,

About your spiritual development,

And he says you have to remember.

And I said,

For me this is something I think about every single day and I hope that all of us take this idea to heart and really build it as a focus in our lives,

Is the soul is like the body.

If a body is not nurtured,

If a body is not given care,

Then it will stop functioning.

A person stops eating for too long,

A person stops drinking for too long,

A person stops sleeping for too long,

If he or she is not nurturing his body,

The body can't function.

And the longer it's not nurtured,

The less it can function.

The less it is given,

The less it can give back.

So too,

Rabranwine said,

Is our soul.

Our soul is meant to feel,

To teach us,

To guide us.

There's nothing,

And it's important to remember this,

There's nothing that we need in wisdom,

Inspiration,

Direction,

Happiness,

That our soul cannot provide.

You do not,

We do not need anything except a living soul.

But Rabranwine said,

A soul that is cared for,

A soul that is fed,

A soul that is alive.

So would you call other types of soul a sleeping soul?

Yes,

Yes.

And then it's just a matter of degrees of slumber,

But absolutely.

And what I would say for every single one of us,

If you're experiencing any type of lack,

Any type of unease,

Any type of unhappiness,

There's only one reason.

Your soul is not awake enough.

And therefore Rabranwine would remind my father over and over and over again,

Feed your soul.

It's interesting because often,

And I don't know if,

I mean,

I've had two anxiety attacks in my life,

And they're terrifying.

It's like the most extreme state of fear,

Panic,

Worry,

Doubt all in one.

It feels like death on some level.

But I knew both times,

Because I had already been studying,

That it was because my actions were not aligned with my soul.

And my soul was so uncomfortable that it took making my body that uncomfortable to pay attention to my soul.

And so sadness,

Anxiety,

Depression,

Of course,

There's other,

I'm not talking about extreme illness,

But to that level of those things popping up here and there throughout life,

It's definitely the soul saying,

Wake up.

I'm so uncomfortable in this body that I've had to come into.

We need to do some kind of change.

And in fact,

There's something called the soul's contract,

Right?

The Zohar speaks about this,

That before the soul comes into the physical world,

There's a conversation.

By the way,

Monica and I did not prepare this,

But as you're talking,

I'm remembering all my notes.

I'm so glad.

Which are very much in line with what you're saying.

So thankfully,

We think alike.

So well,

We've been married a while.

The creator and- I think our souls are connected.

Yes,

Also.

And the soul are talking to each other,

And the soul doesn't want to go back into the body.

But the creator is saying,

You need to go back into the body because you need to be able to live in this physical world for the process of having free will and for growth,

Et cetera.

Do you want to extract that?

Right,

Absolutely,

I do.

But I want to first underscore two things that you said,

Which I think are just so important.

First as we said before,

Every experience of lack,

Every experience of anxiety,

Every experience of unhappiness has only one real cause.

And that is that our soul is not awake enough.

As a matter of fact,

The purpose- And also,

We're listening to our ego's desires.

It's usually when we're more aligned with what the body wants versus what the soul wants.

For sure.

And which is often,

Which can be complimentary,

But often in the way we behave and act without consciousness are actually the opposite of what the soul desires.

So if we understand that every time we're unhappy,

Every time we feel fear,

Anxiety,

Worry,

There's really one cause and also therefore one solution.

My soul is not awake enough.

You know,

Imagine,

And again,

I think I really want to stress this point.

Imagine you had a friend who you knew had all the answers that you need.

If you needed help at work,

They can give you advice.

They can also give you support.

There's literally,

They are the wisest- Comfort,

Love,

Encouragement.

All of it.

But then,

But you're going through challenges,

You decide not to reach out to them.

That's silly,

Right?

Because you have somebody who's right there and ready to support you.

Our soul has everything that we need.

Everything that we need.

But the hiccup is this.

The great,

My notes are here.

I'll be better from now on.

Colonimist Kalman Shapira,

Who I love his work.

He's written many books and he wrote them while he was in the Holocaust,

Actually.

And he buried his books and he said that if you find them and I'm alive,

Send it to this address.

If not,

Please publish them.

He perished in the Holocaust,

But his books were published.

And they're so profound and they always speak to me as if he was living in this day writing today.

And he talks about this idea with body and soul.

He said it's easy to understand the body because it's tangible,

Right?

Everything that you experience in life is through your lens,

Through your perspective.

What you feel,

Touch,

Taste,

You can experience that.

But with the soul,

It's about emotions and thinking and things that are not tangible.

So it's hard to make that a priority.

However,

Everybody is responsible for their own soul's process.

Everybody is able to go internal and to tap into that part of themselves.

Nobody can help anybody else more than themselves,

Right?

We go to therapists,

We go to doctors,

We go to psychics.

But the truth is we have all the answers within because it's within us.

But we're so fooled by it because we're like,

Oh,

I don't have access to that.

I'm not really sure what my soul wants or I'm not really connected to that.

But in fact,

That's the biggest fallacy.

Absolutely.

You want to go back to the contract?

I do,

Too.

But this cannot be stressed enough.

But you have to have this certainty about yourself.

That I,

My soul,

Which is our essence,

But unfortunately,

If you ask honestly and again,

Every person is different,

We're living three to five percent of our soul.

But.

Well,

You have to unpack that,

Too,

Because that's what does that mean?

Well,

Any time.

Three to five percent is very low.

So.

So what happens?

So the soul is doing what the rest of our day?

It's in pain.

So back to the contract and this is related to the contract.

So as Monica mentioned,

It is one of my more favorite teachings that it says.

That there is a great cry that the soul gives out,

Yells when it is born into this world.

And the reason for that is because our soul is endless,

Limitless.

And in the moment of birth,

The soul is snatched away from experiencing and living in a limitless reality,

Really allowed to shine its light freely.

So you say snatched away,

But the soul understands it's coming into the body.

It does.

And that's why it's so scared and screams out.

It literally,

The czar says that that cry of the soul can be heard if you had ears from one side of the world to the other.

Well,

We talked about this in a podcast,

Right?

We hear the decimal of hearing that we have compared to certain animals.

And it's very,

Very minimal.

Right.

In one of our previous podcasts,

We mentioned that our human hearing is very,

Very limited.

And the natural world has sounds below and above human hearing.

Exactly.

So if we had true hearing,

We would be unfortunately,

Unfortunately,

However you want to view it,

We'd be hearing these screams all the time of souls being put into body.

And that's important.

But more important is to understand what happened to our soul and what happens to our soul.

So we spoke a little bit on Friday about the conversation you need to develop with your souls.

And again,

I don't want to be a sort of downer,

But the reality is.

That we have to understand that our soul is in pain.

So if we're manifesting 5% of who we are,

If we're allowing only 5% of our soul to express itself,

It's feeling great imprisonment,

Great pain from that flows,

All the pain that we experience,

Which is a diminished version of what our soul is experiencing all the time.

The contract that our soul makes with the light of the creator is twofold.

It says in the Talmud that when we are born,

We swear,

We make a vow to the light of the creator.

I will,

The words are,

Be a tzaddik,

Which means that I will be righteous,

Which means I will reveal the totality of my potential,

The totality of my soul in the world.

And the light of the creator makes a corresponding vow,

Which says,

I will give you all the support that you need.

Once you make that decision,

And as you continually make that decision to reveal the great light that your soul has.

And that responsibility is something that we don't interact with enough.

We don't experience it enough.

We don't remind ourselves of it enough.

Like you said before,

I don't remember writing that contract or signing that contract.

Most don't.

Right.

I would recommend it's funny,

But,

You know,

I was actually thinking as I was preparing for this podcast,

It would be a good meditation for every single person in the morning.

And there is a capitalistic meditation around this,

Where we speak about the soul that came back into our body.

And one of the reasons,

By the way,

That the human body needs sleep is not so much because the body could not have been created right,

Where there are certain animals that need less sleep.

It's that the body cannot,

Sorry,

The soul is in too much pain if it had to be constricted.

So it's allowed for the five hours,

Six hours,

Eight hours,

Whatever that amount of time they were sleeping,

It's allowed to go to its natural state of complete revelation.

And then every single morning again,

There's that pain that the soul feels from being limitless and put back into this body that has to constrict it.

What's interesting when you say it like that,

Then nobody should ever feel death,

Because in an essence,

We experience it every night to some degree.

We absolutely do.

As a matter of fact,

The Kabbalah Zohar says that sleep is at least one sixtieth of death.

But for the soul,

It's a great reprieve because it's finally allowed to breathe free and to be itself.

I thought you were talking about going another way with death.

The ancient word for death in Hebrew is sort of relief,

Because what actually happens for most souls when they leave the confines of the physical body is that they're relieved.

They can finally shine in their great light.

And a little bit on a tangent,

But I think I've mentioned this before,

When my father's teacher,

Rabbi Bramwein,

Left this physical world,

My father,

Of course,

Was in great pain.

But he would share with us in the years after that he realized at that point,

At a certain point,

After going through that pain and that darkness of losing his teacher in the physical world,

That now his teacher would be more available to him,

No longer confined in the physical body.

He can be with him wherever he was.

And I've said this before,

It was really an amazing thing to see.

As I mentioned,

We would study with my father in the early hours between 1 to 5 a.

M.

Most nights,

And we would study deep Kabbalistic texts.

And every once in a while,

We would come across a question,

And we would ask my father the Rav,

And he would stop,

He would ask his teacher,

And he would receive the answer.

And this was a commonplace thing that happened.

And again,

But back to the idea that sleep is the time that our soul is allowed to be free.

And then in the morning,

There's a special meditation,

Prayer that we say,

Where we give thanks for the soul,

Well,

I would say coming back,

But really the light of the Creator forcing the soul to be confined in this once again.

The purpose of all this understanding,

Of course,

Is to give us enough impetus and drive and desire in our waking hours to give much more effort to both the care of our soul and allowing it to reveal its true and great light.

Let me ask you a question.

When were you aware,

Before you even started studying,

Which is kind of silly because you started when you were in diapers,

But that you had a contract?

Because I remember a moment where it dawned on me.

I misunderstood the contract.

So what if you share yours first?

Well,

I misunderstood it.

I thought that I had to help every single person,

Like save them.

And if they didn't have an awakening of spirituality,

That somehow I failed them.

So I took the contract a little too seriously.

I'm a good student,

But I was aware of the contract.

I always was.

Was there a moment?

Yeah.

I mean,

It's going to sound so corny,

Really,

But God was my first friend.

I used to play with the Creator in my room,

Like really honest.

I'm going to cry.

I honestly,

Like that was my first friend.

And so I was aware,

Like it was,

I don't know,

I felt like that presence came to remind me early on what I needed to step up and do here.

I got,

I got distracted for sure,

Somewhere in the middle,

But I found my way back.

Beautiful.

So I remember I was about eight or nine years old and we were living in Israel at the time and we would go at least once,

Usually twice a month.

We were living in the south of Israel and we would travel at least once,

Usually twice a month to the north where all the spiritual sites are with the righteous.

Many of the righteous souls are buried.

And we were staying in a motel.

And those of you who know,

It's on the way down to the Ari and Sfat and Safed.

We're staying in a hotel.

It no longer exists as a hotel.

It was called the Friedman Motel.

The Ari is a famous Kabbalah.

Some people won't know that.

So we were there,

We were sleeping there.

I was in one room,

My parents went in another room.

And suddenly I wake up in the middle of the night,

Again,

Eight,

Nine years old.

And the thought comes to me because we know that the ultimate purpose of Kabbalah,

The ultimate purpose of the spiritual work and study is that the world as we experience it now,

As the whole world experience it with all of the pain and the suffering and the death is not the way the world is meant to remain.

And I knew as whatever a child can comprehend,

Eight or nine years old,

That this work that can be done to awaken the world and to awaken the individuals and the collective so that the pain and suffering and death that exists can be removed.

And then the second thought that came to my mind was that,

You know,

What happens if that work is not accomplished before my parents have to leave the physical world?

And that thought,

I remember that second,

I was filled with so much fear and worry.

I ran into my parents' room and I jumped as our kids still do.

Well,

One of our kids,

At least.

Yeah,

What?

Don't embarrass the rest.

Well,

David sometimes jumps into our bed.

That's not true.

Not true.

We wish he would,

But he doesn't.

No,

We don't.

Sorry.

So,

So,

So I,

I jumped into their bed and I remember that for me,

That was the moment when I realized that my soul's desire and purpose in this world is to do as,

As much,

As quickly as possible to bring enough wisdom and light into this world so that the world as we know it,

Unfortunately still with all the pain and suffering and death can be removed.

I want to share with you a book that is very much aligned with what we're talking about tonight.

It's called Care of the Soul by Thomas More.

And it's a great book,

By the way,

If you haven't read it,

I do recommend it.

And he explained that in the modern world,

We tend to separate psychology from religion.

He has a background in psychology.

And actually,

If you look up the word,

I think psychotherapy,

Originally it meant psycho is something translates to care of the soul,

Right?

And it's gotten lost in translation through the years,

But that's really what the intention of psychology was.

And he goes on to say,

We think emotional problems have to do with the family,

Childhood,

And trauma with personal life,

But not with spirituality.

The soul,

The seat of our deepest emotions can benefit greatly from the gifts of vivid spiritual life and can suffer when it's deprived of them.

For example,

The soul needs an articulated worldview,

A carefully worked out scheme of values and a sense of relatedness to the whole.

It also thrives on spirituality that is not so transcendent,

Such as the spirit of family arising from traditions and values that have been part of the family for generations.

So this idea that we're talking about is not something that is just us,

But I like that idea that if the soul is deprived of what it needs and where it came from,

That's when trauma stays,

Occurs,

Sadness,

All of those things are held on because the soul is being starved.

And that's why I strongly believe this might be a little bit controversial,

That a person can never truly be healed of any trauma unless there's a spiritual awakening and more importantly,

An awakening of the soul.

And let's just define healing for a second,

Because that's where it's going to get controversial.

People say,

Oh no,

I'm okay.

I've created a good life for myself.

I'm the other side of it.

I think healing is when you have gotten to a place where not only have you grown from the experience and you've grown in a way that's positive and you like yourself better and you're on another level,

But to the point where you can forgive the people that have hurt you.

Because you understand and you're able still to see that everybody has a spark of light in them.

They're not acting with it.

It's covered completely and maybe the behavior was horrible,

But still you're able to see even past that.

Absolutely.

And you can't do that without spirituality.

Related to that,

I think for me,

If I think about tools like practical actions that we should,

Can take and do more of,

Study is a big one.

When people think about,

I don't know if it's spirituality,

Self-help,

Like you said before,

Too often it's within the confine of comfort,

Which is people come to spirituality from many different places.

They want more or they want to understand more,

But it's all within a framework that is comfortable and a framework that is logical.

And what I can guarantee is that unless you become uncomfortable and unless to some degree you do illogical things for the purpose of caring for your soul,

It will be very difficult to actually make your soul as alive as it's meant to be.

So for instance,

When I talk about study,

It's not just concepts that we can understand,

That make sense to us,

That are practical,

But the real purpose of study,

And that's why in Kabbalistic terms we talk about scanning of the sore and things like that,

Because the soul is at a different wavelength than the mind.

And I think too often we make the mistake of thinking,

By the way,

Understanding spirituality is very important,

Studying for the purpose of understanding is very important.

But there's another part to that,

And it's the feeding of the soul.

And if the only time you study or the only time you are engaged is when it's something,

Oh,

I understand this,

Oh,

I understand this next one,

I understand the next one,

There isn't an element of your study that is simply for the fact that my soul needs to be fed,

So that it's alive more and more and more,

Then we will miss a big part of our soul.

I think it's the consciousness you have when you're using tools.

A lot of times people go through actions,

But what are they thinking while they're doing it?

If you're just doing the action and you think that alone is actually going to elevate you,

Change you,

Feed your soul,

It's not enough.

It's what you're thinking while you're doing it.

It's what you understand the act of doing to be.

And if it's just something you're checking off because it's the right thing to do,

Or you know it's good for you,

It's not really going to do all that much.

Right.

But I would add to that,

That the study,

Whichever way you go about this,

Which I think many of us understand study to be something,

Again,

You know,

Different courses,

You can,

I learned one step to the next,

That's beautiful and that's important to have a consciousness,

To have an understanding.

But the real purpose of study is none of that.

The real purpose of study is that it's a way to nourish the soul.

And unless you are actively doing what I would recommend to every single one of us,

To study spiritual,

Whichever one you choose,

But to study spiritual texts,

Wisdom that is not for practical use.

That has its place and it is important.

But a question that I would ask myself,

I would,

Every one of our listeners should be asking themselves,

How consistent is my,

What I would call illogical study,

Which means non-practical study,

That I'm not doing it.

It's not goal-oriented also.

You're not doing it to achieve X,

Y,

And Z.

Exactly.

It's literally directed and focused towards the care of my soul,

The nurturing my soul,

The feeding of my soul,

Which it desperately needs.

That's the first one.

And the second one,

Which is a little bit related,

Is the understanding that when we make the body uncomfortable,

We'll call it that,

When you do actions and you push yourself to do things that are uncomfortable for you,

That allows the soul to expand and the constriction of the body to let go.

So I would strongly recommend,

Unless,

And ask yourself the question,

Every one of us should ask,

Am I consistently making myself uncomfortable for my soul's growth?

Because that's the only way it's going to happen.

Again,

A lot of people,

You know,

Enjoy spirituality and it's comfortable and it's nice and so on and so forth.

Nice.

That's not a path toward actually making 100% of our soul alive.

In order to make 100% of our soul alive,

The question that we have to consistently ask is how am I allowing my soul to grow in ways that make me uncomfortable?

Whatever that is,

You know,

And everybody has the specific actions that they can take and should think about.

But all I can say for sure is that if we're not actively and consistently taking actions that are meant for the purpose of our soul's revelation,

Our soul's life,

That are uncomfortable,

A person can never achieve the true revelation of their essence unless they're consistently making themselves uncomfortable in the nurturing of their soul.

So I want to quote Thomas More again because it's aligned with what we're saying.

He says there's two ways to think about church and religion.

He says,

Again,

We're talking about consciousness,

Right?

That's everything.

It's not just the actions,

The thought behind it.

He said,

One is the way we go to church in order to be in the presence of the holy,

To learn and to have our lives influenced by that presence.

The other is that church teaches us directly and symbolically to see the sacred dimension of everyday life.

In this latter sense,

Religion is an art of memory,

A way of sustaining mindfulness about the religion that is inherent in everything we do.

For some,

Religion is a Sunday affair and they risk dividing life into the holy Sabbath and the secular week.

For others,

Religion is a week-long observance that is inspired and sustained on the Sabbath.

I really like that because it's not something you show up for.

You do this one thing here,

You do this one thing there.

I did that good.

Okay,

I fed it a little bit.

I have a little bit,

Something to talk about on a Friday night or something to teach a class,

Offer a class I'm teaching.

This is something else.

This is that you do it all week long.

And then when that one day that you usually devote to connection or study,

That's the day that you're really,

It's sustaining all that you already are experiencing day to day.

Absolutely.

And it reminds me of something.

I think I shared some of it on Friday when we heard together.

I think many of us who came here for the Spiritually Hungry Retreat,

For example,

We came here for the purpose that fit within some sort of logic.

I'm going to learn something,

Maybe I'll connect with something,

Maybe I'll be inspired by something.

For me,

What excites me about being here with all of you,

What excites me about coming together whenever we do as a community for connection is not so much what will logically happen.

I'll get to share,

I'll get to enjoy somebody else's conversation.

Whatever logically happens,

For me,

The most inspiring and exciting element is what is happening to my soul that I don't even know.

When you gather together,

For example,

With a group of people for the purpose of connection,

For the purpose of revealing ourselves,

Which is really the main reason we come together,

The beauty is that it's not just what you experience.

It's not just what you learn.

It's not just what inspiration you receive.

It's actually taking care of your soul in ways that you can't even understand.

But I know,

And I hope all of us here know,

And hopefully all of our listeners who gather at least virtually with us,

That what happens to our soul through this connection is so far beyond anything that we take away in the way of understanding,

In the way of logic,

In a way of clear connection.

Because the soul is being nurtured all the time when you are directing it,

When you're,

Again,

In this example,

When you're coming together for the purpose of developing your soul,

Then no matter what else,

Again,

Great,

You got inspiration,

And great,

You'll get some wisdom.

But more important is actually the unknown sustenance that our soul receives when we gather with friends,

Whether it's hundreds,

Whether it's two.

And then that's why I mentioned a little bit of this,

That the Kabbalists teach that when two friends come together for the purpose of sharing,

For the purpose of spiritual connection,

Then the light,

What we call the light of the Creator,

Comes and rests upon them in a way that they can never achieve on their own.

And then,

Yes,

Maybe they will study together,

Maybe they will share together,

But more important than anything that they share and receive is the sustenance that comes to their soul.

Well,

I think also coming here together,

Right,

We stop that fast-paced living and we slow down,

And it's more of,

Instead of rushing through life,

We actually live them.

So I think that's the importance of coming together for something like this and to do that continuously.

The other thing you mentioned,

Study,

When we do that,

It lifts the heaviness of the body,

Actually,

Right?

There's two other tools.

Laughing is a great way to connect to your soul.

In fact,

Spend time with children because they laugh 25% more than adults.

Really?

Yes,

That's why I like hanging out with kids.

And the other thing is an indication of your soul being starved is if you don't enjoy alone time,

Studies have said.

If you don't enjoy being with yourself,

It means it's a big part of soul that you've neglected.

That's a very important point,

Right,

Because so often,

You know,

People are like,

I need to be with somebody else or I want to.

When I find a whole narrative.

I think that's a very good question for all of us to ask is how comfortable are we are being alone,

And if we're not,

And to the degree that we're not,

And to the degree that we must have somebody else with us,

That,

Like you said,

Is an indication that we're not really in tune with our soul because if we are,

Then we don't really need anybody else to be there.

Of course,

It's great to have friends and to be around other people,

But I don't need it.

And actually,

People who enjoy alone time are less depressed,

Studies have found.

Nice,

Nice.

So I was going to ask any of our friends here if they wanted to ask any questions before,

Something you wanted to share before.

I love when you put me on the spot.

Let me just think for a moment.

By the way,

Just a little bit of an inside information.

Monica always has about 300% more content than we need for each one of the episodes,

So I'm sure.

I would just say that,

And we know,

A spiritual life is not,

You know,

Meditating on a mountain or having a zen life.

I think really a spiritual life is being able to see beauty in everything.

So the obvious things that we stop appreciating because,

Especially if we live by the ocean,

You don't appreciate the ocean anymore.

If you get to see a sunset or sunrise every day,

You're not going to appreciate it,

But it's to be able in those every day,

You know,

A blade of grass,

A mountain,

A child's eye,

The way it looks,

Their curiosity,

Laughter,

But also it's being able to see the light in things that we don't want to see it in,

Like an unhoused person,

Right?

It's being able to see a sparkle in every single thing that exists in this world.

The only way to do that is to see your own sparkle.

So I always go back.

I mean,

People ask for so much advice about how do I find this.

It's always looking for something outside of themselves,

And my answer is always it has to be in the internal.

Absolutely.

And if I would give one idea,

Which,

You know,

If anybody asked me what do I see as the most important work of my life,

It would be to the making your wife happy.

Yeah.

Besides making my wife happy.

That's what she said.

That's what she said.

That's what she said.

It is to,

To inspire,

More importantly,

Help as many people to understand how much greater they are,

How much greater their soul is than what they're currently experiencing.

I say this to myself.

I say this to all of us.

And the vastness the greatness,

The power of our soul is something none of us appreciate.

And certainly none of us truly reveal.

And therefore I often see as my one of my main driving forces in life is as many people as I can get to increase their awareness of their power,

Of how great they are,

Their soul is,

If it's by 5%,

By 10%,

Hopefully all the way up to 100% because there's no way of us of us revealing 100% until we begin the practice of understanding how far we are from experiencing,

From revealing the true great light of the soul that each one of us has.

So with that,

We'd like to ask any of our friends here to,

If any questions,

Comments,

Stories,

I see a few hands raised.

We have,

Yigal has the microphone.

Remember,

They're going to be amazing questions,

Thoughtful,

Beautiful,

Coming from your souls.

Hello,

I think the question about soul contracts got a little buried.

If you could expand upon that.

And I guess my question is,

I don't know if the Akashic Records plays into that.

And I don't know if that's related to the Tree of Life.

But could you expand upon soul contracts?

And do we sometimes end soul contracts with people that have significant relationships in our lives,

When our soul either,

I guess,

Gets to a neutral place or goes above that or below that?

Or just comment more.

He wants you to unpack that.

So I'll say two things,

Because I think there are two ideas here that are related but not the same.

The first and most important contract is between my soul and its source,

The endless light to the Creator.

And that contract is that when I was born and when you were born,

When each one of us was born,

We made a vow that the number one priority of my life is going to be to nurture,

Connect to,

And reveal the light of my soul.

And related to that,

We said any discomfort that we feel in life is the soul's pain,

That we are not living up to the vow that we made.

Second,

Which is something we didn't touch upon but is also true,

Our soul also has vows,

Contracts,

With many other people.

My soul and Monica's soul made a vow to each other before we were born into this physical world.

My soul made a vow to my children before we came into this world.

And so too with significant relationships that we have.

And by the way,

It's all the same vow.

My vow with Monica,

My soul's vow with Monica before our souls came into this world,

Was that I was going to do whatever I can to allow the light of her soul to be revealed.

And the same she made a vow to me.

And the vow that our souls made to our children before they came into this world is that our priority in our relationship with them is to do whatever we can so that the light of their soul can be completely and totally revealed.

So it is true,

Again,

The most important vow that we make is the vow between our soul and its source,

The essence of the endless light to the Creator.

But yes,

There are many other vows that we made,

Certainly to the important relationships in life.

And there are other,

The Ari,

The great Kabbalist,

Refers to it as the tree of souls.

And there's branches on that tree.

People that you're close with in a true way are people that you come from the same branch of soul.

And we all have contracts,

Certainly as I said to those that our souls are close to in one way or another.

But the reality is that the foundation,

It is all the same vow.

If it's with a friend,

Our souls made the vow that before we came into this world,

We will support each other and do whatever we can that our friend's soul,

That our soul,

They to us,

Support the revelation of our soul's light into this world.

I had two questions.

So are you saying that,

Because that kind of covers tikkun also.

So everybody that we have a process with in this life,

Right?

A husband,

A wife,

An ex-husband,

An ex-wife,

Whatever it is,

That we wrote contracts with all of them.

Yes.

So that's basically covering the tikkun aspect,

The correction.

It's also part of it,

Yes.

The other thing is,

And I think we should explain this,

Is why we forget this contract.

Because if we remembered it,

We'd all be better people right now.

Well,

That's part of free will.

If we had a clear memory of that vow,

Which is by the way,

Something we are meant to develop.

I'm just saying small.

We all have a small.

Would you call that serendipity or what is it called?

Deja vu.

Yes.

That's the reminder of the contract.

Yes.

And sometimes the more you are thinking in this way,

The more you will begin to sense it with certain people.

That the connection that we have isn't just we happen to meet in this lifetime,

But that there's deeply something that our souls promise to each other.

And again,

This is a whole,

Maybe we should do a whole podcast on this,

But there's a lot of writing amongst the great sages and Kabbalists about how careful therefore we have to be.

The responsibility.

You know,

Again,

I think too often we take,

Well,

I don't want to talk about marriages or even parenting,

Maybe parenting too simple or too lackadaisical,

Or certainly friendships even.

If we understand that when we get to a deep relationship with somebody,

It's not just,

Oh,

I happen to decide this person will be my friend.

I happen to decide this person will be my spouse.

I happen to decide,

No,

There's a deep soul vow that I better be doing everything that I can to at least fulfill my part in it.

And I personally have had these situations where I always feel,

And therefore my father would always say,

When you feel that there is that vow connection between your soul and somebody else,

You have to do everything that you can,

At least to make sure that you're,

Again,

The other person has their process and their decisions,

But that you do everything you can to make sure that you fulfilled your vow,

Your soul's vow to that person's soul.

Another question?

I have a question.

So,

Michael,

On Friday,

I think you said that we can't take ownership of our souls,

But we have to protect it.

So,

For John and I,

We were kind of really trying to let that settle in.

And I wondered if you could share,

And maybe also,

Monica,

You could share,

Because it's,

Michael,

You're going to bring us up there,

And Monica's going to help us get it down here.

What does that look like?

Like,

How do I not take ownership of my soul,

And how do I protect it?

So,

The idea is,

And it is a very important idea,

Because I think it's counterintuitive to the way most of us live.

Most of us take,

When I say take ownership,

It means that we feel that I have a free hand.

I'll decide if today I will do,

We'll call it the right thing,

Every one of us has different choices we make every day.

Today I might,

Tomorrow I might not.

It's mine.

It's,

You know,

When you own a car,

Right,

You can run it into a wall,

You can not fill it up with gas,

You can let it become run down.

We feel,

You know,

It's mine.

Of course,

I'd like to,

If I feel like it,

I'll take good care of it.

If I don't feel like it,

I won't.

But when we understand,

As the Zoroast says,

That we're given this precious,

Powerful soul,

And we're given this precious,

Powerful soul,

But we're given it for only one reason.

We do not own it.

It is not ours to do with it as we will.

But we're given it because it has great light to reveal in this world,

Great potential to reveal in this world.

That's a different relationship.

I have to protect it.

I have to nurture it.

It is not mine to destroy it by so feel.

It is not mine to behave in any way that I want.

When we understand and view our soul as a gift given to us for the purpose of nurturing,

Developing,

And making alive,

It's a different relationship than I believe even those of us who are spiritual have with our soul.

When we're spiritual,

I think all that means is we say,

I know I have a soul.

I'll do what I want.

I'll do my best,

Maybe.

Some days I won't.

I'll do with my soul what I want.

That's the wrong relationship.

I have to understand.

It's important to get none of us are meant to be perfect.

I want to be very clear about that.

We all make mistakes.

It's not about that.

It's my view of my soul.

Even if I make a mistake,

I received this unbelievable this morning when I woke up,

When you woke up,

It didn't want to come back probably.

It was like,

Oh no,

Not again into that prison.

But I was given again my soul.

And I was given my soul for a singular purpose,

To protect it,

To grow it,

To allow it to reveal its essence in the world.

And when you have that view and that relationship with your soul,

It's a different parameter within which you live as opposed to the other view,

Which is,

Yes,

I was given the soul that's mine,

Like my car,

Like my clothing.

I can rip it up if I want.

I can do whatever I want.

Of course,

I'd like to do good things with it,

But it's my choice.

It's not really a choice.

When we really,

Again,

As I said,

Understand every day,

Certainly from the day we are born,

We are given this gift,

But for a specific purpose.

And I do not own it,

But I have it now and I need to protect it and grow it and allow it to become alive and reveal its potential.

It's a different view,

One that I think makes it much healthier and much more likely that we will actually allow our soul to reveal this great light every day and certainly throughout our lifetime.

I just think you need to make it a little,

I know what you're saying,

But I think the part of it.

That's all that matters.

As long as Monica understands me,

That's okay.

No,

That we're given the soul,

It's not ours,

But we're saying the soul is all that you are.

It's confusing.

So you need to explain where soul comes from and that you get a part of it to use in this life and what you do in this life matters with the part of the soul you have.

It's just,

It's not.

Right.

Okay.

So of course,

Okay,

To make this,

Of course it is our essence,

Right?

But it is not something to be viewed as owned by me.

Abused.

Well,

That would lead to abuse,

Right?

If it's owned by me,

I could do whatever I want.

If the view is that yes,

What I am is soul,

But what I am is not free to me as an owner to do what I want with it.

It's like there's a mothership that sent down these little aliens,

Let's say.

Okay,

Whatever.

And then we're able to kind of do what we're supposed to do in this world.

And you go back up at some point that creates a greater good.

I just think you need to unpack it a bit.

Yeah,

Again,

I think the most important idea here is how we view it,

Right?

Most of us,

Even those of us who are spiritual,

I believe say,

This is my soul.

I will choose how much I study,

How much I develop,

How much I make myself uncomfortable.

It's like teeth.

I'll use my teeth.

And then after you've ruined them,

You're like,

Oh my god.

Exactly.

I need to get a fake tooth and then I need to whiten them and whatever it is.

And it's like,

What?

I have teeth issues.

But,

Right?

Right,

Exactly.

As opposed to the view,

What I am is really a part of a much more,

A greater reality.

And the soul that I'm given is not given to me to use and abuse as I will,

But for a very specific purpose.

And that consciousness around my soul,

Which is what the Zohar is teaching,

Inspires us,

Hopefully,

Gives us clarity,

Hopefully,

To understand that when I woke up this morning and when I wake up tomorrow morning,

The only reason I was given this soul again was because I was entrusted to allow it to develop more,

To allow it to grow more,

And to allow it to reveal its essence.

Because?

What's the big picture?

Not just for you alone,

Though.

What is the bigger picture of that?

It can't just be that,

So then you have another day and you get more elevated.

Then what happens after that?

Souls go back?

Yes,

Of course.

But even on a most basic level,

My soul was meant to change the world today.

Your soul,

Every one of our souls is meant to change the world today.

And that's why I was given it.

I wasn't given it so I could have a good,

Happy day.

I was given it so that I can actually do something for the world today.

And that is when I allow my soul to live,

When I allow my soul to be alive,

When I allow it to really reveal its essence,

When I live life with that direction,

Then the world changes every day because of my soul.

That's why I was given my soul today.

That's clear.

Thank you.

Monica understands.

That's all that matters.

One more question.

One more question.

Hello.

Okay,

Two.

That's the last two.

One,

Two.

Okay.

I want to talk about what is happening right now here or what has been this weekend.

It's amazing.

I have talked with some of my friends.

Being in this community is amazing and having this opportunity of being all together is amazing.

It's a huge experience and a great opportunity to be together and know that even if we are coming from different places,

Different countries,

Different cultures,

We are here looking for the same.

So the question that I want to do is talking about the environment because when we are inside the community and in this environment,

It's so easy to connect with yourself because no one is judging you.

We are all here like in the same path,

Even if we are coming from whatever having any process in our lives,

We can connect,

Looking for the same.

Being inside of communities,

Like you say today,

Like that seed in the right soil.

So my question is,

If I know that being surrendered by an amazing community,

I can grow,

I can be like the best,

But I don't have that community right now because I'm one of the persons that lives far away from a center,

What I should do?

Should I go and run to go close to a community or should I take it as an opportunity to create a community?

Because if I'm in the middle thinking about this as my point and my opportunity,

Both sides are very uncomfortable for me.

Moving,

Chasing something that I know exists or creating and staying here but create something that doesn't exist.

What should we do?

So,

Very good question and I will remind you of another very important foundational teaching from Ravashlag.

He writes that the only choice that we make in life is the people we surround ourselves with.

And he says,

He uses the example of the seed related a little bit to what I was speaking about earlier today.

If you take the most amazing seed that has a potential to grow the most amazing beautiful tree and you leave it on the table for a thousand years,

Nothing's going to happen.

You take that same seed and you put it in a beautiful soil,

Rich soil,

It will grow and become a beautiful tree and bear fruit.

And therefore he says,

I would never,

He quotes from the ancient sages,

I would never live in a place where I do not have at least one person or few people that can support me in my work.

So,

To answer your question directly,

You have to do one or the other.

Like you said,

Which I think your soul understands,

To stay in a place where there isn't anybody else who supports your work is not a long-term solution for your soul.

So,

Yes,

You can go somewhere where there are people,

Where there is a community that you feel that supports you in your development or maybe not coincidentally,

Of course not coincidentally,

You are where you are,

What can you do to create a community?

A community,

As we said before,

Can be two people.

It could be five people,

It could be ten people.

But what I would strongly recommend,

And this is for all of us no matter where we live,

By the way to be very clear,

A person can be in a place where physically there's friends or a community that supports them,

But if they're not actually nurturing that relationship,

They could also flounder,

Not grow.

So,

Not just you,

This is something that I say to myself and to all of us,

Make sure,

Number one,

That you have a community.

As we said,

A community can be just one other person that is pushing you to grow,

That is supporting you to grow and to change.

And second,

Make sure that you are partaking of that community all the time in an active way.

Because unfortunately,

I've seen many people who live in what one would call the spiritual community,

But because they're not actively pushing themselves to the support and the growth that can come from that community,

They're also not growing.

But one thing that the Kabbalists say is not a good idea is to stay in a place where one does not have a community and one is not developing community.

So,

To directly answer your question,

My guess would be that because you accept that you cannot be in a place without community actively,

And also second to that,

It's not a coincidence that you're living in a beautiful place.

As we know,

Create a community,

One person,

Two people,

Three people,

And make sure that there is within that community of one person,

Two people,

Five people,

20 people,

Whatever that number is,

That there's an active and consistent push for growth and support within that community.

One more question,

You said?

David.

So,

First of all,

Thank you both for the amazing insights that you share.

My question is a quick one,

And that is,

Here we are,

Our soul is here on a very serious journey.

So,

My question is,

What role does humor play in our soul's journey?

That's very good,

I like that question.

You want to take it first?

No,

Go ahead.

So,

Some of you might know this about me,

But I love laughing almost all the time.

And the reason for that is because when you're connected to your soul,

You realize that really in life,

Why don't we laugh,

I believe enough,

Right?

Why aren't we joyous enough?

Because we take everything so seriously.

When in reality,

And again,

I could be wrong,

And the exact percentage is 99.

9% of the things are not important.

There's certain things that are important,

Friends,

Family,

Relationships,

Relationships,

Health,

And our soul.

But all the rest is kind of funny.

And we shouldn't take it all too seriously if we really are focused on the soul.

And therefore,

I find it very easy to laugh,

And because again,

My soul is important to me,

My soul's work is important to me,

My spiritual work is important to me,

And this group,

You know,

We'll call it the 1% of things that are truly important.

The rest of it,

I don't take seriously at all.

And therefore,

I would say probably to answer your question,

Maybe to inspire all of us,

If you want to know if you're truly nurturing your soul,

One of the ways is are you laughing more about more things?

So,

I hope that answers your question.

Well,

That's one of the first things that I loved about you is you made me laugh,

And you still do so much.

And just to be light,

Light in everything.

And I think laughter and levity is such an important part of relationships also.

It's one that is overlooked,

Spending time as a parent,

Laughter,

Levity.

I mean,

If you put in any kind of thing that you want to excel at or that's important to you,

That's a big component.

Absolutely.

I know it's kind of far away,

But in July,

There will probably be another Spiritually Hungry Retreat somewhere in Europe.

Second,

That you have to consciously ask your soul to hold on to whatever inspiration,

Awakening,

Growth that it's received.

And that consciousness allows us to hold on to whatever light and inspiration,

Awakening that we receive always,

But certainly from a weekend such as this.

So,

We hope everybody here and all of our friends all over the world enjoy listening to this podcast as much as we enjoyed recording it.

And as Monica always reminds us,

Stay spiritually hungry.