36. How To Receive Endless Goodness: Earning Our Blessings

Do you think that once you transform yourself and you actually earn something through this process we're talking about,

Then you're able to have appreciation?

I think that's logically true,

Right?

That we do often have more appreciation for those things that we invested time and effort into rather than the things that just fell in our lap.

And I really think you can only get to a place of joy when you really are able to give and share.

I think it's something that embodies you when you actually become this person that is more a giver.

I think the problem is we're often looking in front of us like,

I expected this to happen,

What I thought would be.

But if you turn around and you look and you're like,

Wait,

From where I came from,

Who I am,

Who I've become,

The other things that I've created in that process,

That's still energy that was actually quite useful.

Every one of our listeners has something unbelievable to bring into this world.

But that will never happen unless there is an investment of great effort,

Perseverance,

And curiosity.

Welcome to the Spiritually Hungry Podcast,

Episode 36.

Yay.

Woo.

Yeah.

We are excited.

We're going to speak about many things today.

And I think something,

An idea that probably most of our listeners have never heard of,

Which is a concept called bread of shame.

So we do have a friend that I have mentioned thought this was a cooking podcast at first.

Really?

Yes.

Although this says bread in it,

We will not be sharing recipes on how to make a good loaf.

So I want to start with this really cute exchange I had with our youngest,

Abigail.

And we were listening to a song from the movie Leap in the car.

It's called Blood,

Sweat,

And Tears.

And we're singing along and I asked her,

I said,

Abigail,

Do you know what blood,

Sweat,

And tears mean?

And she said,

No,

Actually I don't,

Very confidently.

And I wondered what she was trying to surmise it to be.

But anyway,

I explained to her that it means that you always do your best and you try your hardest no matter how difficult something is,

You never give up.

So that means that if you,

And it was actually a timely conversation because she's still learning to ride a two wheel bike.

And so it was a perfect metaphor for actually blood,

Sweat,

And tears.

Meaning if you fall down and you scrape your knee and you bleed or you try so hard that you're sweating and it's so incredibly difficult and seems impossible to master,

You start crying that that's really what blood,

Sweat,

And tears is and that you'd never give up.

And she looks at me and she said,

What if it happens all at the same time?

What am I going to do?

She didn't know how she would stop all of that coming out of her body,

Which I thought was adorable.

I just realized it's all things coming out of the body.

It is.

And can you imagine it in her little mind,

She was like,

Blood pouring out,

Sweat,

Tears,

How do I stop it from overflowing?

But the Kabbalists teach that this is the biggest indication that we're doing something worthwhile.

That if we,

And I've talked about this,

We've talked about this concept that if people oppose it or that it is somehow oppositional or difficult,

Right?

It's a real indication that you're tapping into something that is necessary for your growth,

For your improvement,

For something perhaps you even desire to become or to do or to learn or to know.

Nothing worthwhile is easy.

Correct.

And if we use these other examples,

Like a piece of coal requires great pressure to become a diamond.

I've always loved that analogy.

Or the caterpillar requires darkness in order to become a butterfly.

And we,

As people require great effort in order to learn how to ride a bike,

Speak a new language,

Learn a way around a new city.

So our purpose in this life,

As we've said often on our podcast,

Is to grow,

Is to change,

Is to evolve into a higher state of being and of knowing.

And all of this will require opposition and great effort.

So we're going to talk about a lot of different things.

I do want to go into this idea.

And we've also touched upon this in our podcast before,

But I don't think we've ever actually spelled it out.

And I think it's really important because I think that it is the beginning and the end of everything actually that we talk about.

And that is the idea of the purpose of creation,

Right?

I know it's a big concept.

I can see your face.

You're looking at me like,

Well,

We're not going to that deep concept,

But I want to just go into it in terms of introducing this idea of what Bread of Shame is.

All right.

So follow your lead.

Well,

I'm going to invite you to participate very soon.

So the purpose of creation,

And this is what Rav Aslak said,

Right?

It's a foundational question,

Is that the creator desires only goodness for all of us,

Right,

As human beings.

And that's why humanity was created.

That's why they're souls.

And that's why each of us have a vessel,

Which basically equates to desire,

Right?

There's different forms depending on how much desire you have is how big your vessel is,

Into which the light or this goodness can flow into.

And because our nature is like the creator,

Right,

We have to work to receive these gifts.

They cannot just be given for free because we wouldn't appreciate them.

And also this idea of Bread of Shame,

Right,

Of having something that you haven't worked with.

Well,

You're going to do that in a minute.

But this idea,

This feeling that comes up that I've received all of these great gifts and I didn't work for it.

I think anybody,

Even if they've never heard the concept of Bread of Shame,

That never feels good,

Right?

So we know people who are,

For instance,

We're trust fund babies and we have students like this.

I'm not saying all people,

I'm not making a generalization,

But people say,

You know,

I never felt good receiving that money or because I received so much,

I spent it in ways that I perhaps wouldn't have if I had worked hard to create that for myself.

OK,

So define Bread of Shame,

If you would.

And also,

I want to know why is it called Bread of Shame?

Because,

You know,

I don't like the word shame.

So we'll go into that,

Too.

So the concept and also how it came to be called.

OK,

So you've touched upon many,

Many very big concepts.

I know,

Set it up for you,

Babe.

The foundational idea is this,

That we are in this world,

I just made a note for myself,

We should probably have a whole podcast just on this big concept,

The purpose of this world.

But the reason we are created,

The reason all of humanity is created,

Is because there's a benevolent force,

We call it the creator or the light of the creator,

That desires for each individual to receive endless goodness.

So every blessing that we have in our lives,

Every good that we experience.

And the ultimate purpose is for each one of us to only have positive experiences,

Only have goodness in our lives.

One of the great philosophical questions is if you believe that there is a God or a creator or this positive force,

Which is probably more true to reality,

Why did that force.

.

.

Why is there so much pain and suffering in the world?

Exactly.

Of course,

Not simply,

And if it desires to share,

If it desires to bestow goodness,

Why did it not create a world where we're all here still,

But we just get goodness.

We don't experience pain,

We don't experience suffering,

We don't experience death.

And the answer is what I think is such a beautiful idea,

And that is this.

We are also part of that creative force.

We are made of the same essence that that creator,

That creative force is.

So whatever is true about the creator is true about us.

We were not created as in the ancient phrase,

Yesh me'ayin,

Something out of nothing,

But rather we are made out of the same energy,

Essence of that creative force.

So the one thing that is true about that,

One other thing we know besides that it is a force for good,

And that is why over time goodness overtakes evil,

Is that it also does not take from anybody.

The creative force creates and gives.

So in our core,

In the essence of who we are,

Because as I said,

We are of that same energy and force and essence that the creator or the creator of energy is.

So at our nature,

We are all givers.

We will enjoy giving,

We will not handle well simply receiving,

Because that goes against our nature.

So if we are made in the creator's image.

Essence,

Energy,

Exactly.

But the creator doesn't receive.

Exactly.

So we have an aspect of us that desires to receive.

Right.

So the only,

Exactly.

So I said before,

We are not created ex nihilo as it's called,

Or yesh me'ayin,

Out of nothingness.

There's only one part of us that is different.

And that is like you said,

That we do have a desire to receive.

And where does that part come from?

That was created out of nothing.

That was a,

As,

And again,

These are very deep concepts and I hope by spending 20 seconds on each,

We do some justice to them.

Because the creative force wanted to share,

Wanted to give,

It therefore was brought into creating beings,

We,

Humanity,

That have something new,

A desire to receive of that great beneficence of that goodness.

So we are actually made up of two parts,

Two enmeshed,

Actually paradoxical parts.

And this explains many things,

The God part of us or the creator part of us.

And that force is a desire to share.

To give.

To give,

To do good.

Love,

Kindness,

All of that.

And we also have a desire to receive.

Which comes from?

That was created because.

But the creator created that.

Yes,

That is new.

That is yesh me'ayin,

That is something out of nothing.

That was a new creation,

A new thing.

So that we can therefore earn goodness.

Well,

Receive,

Right?

The purpose of the desire to receive is so that we can receive it.

And does appreciation fall into that?

Well,

The inherent problem is because we are,

For the most part,

God or godly or creator,

Which means that the greater part of us is that essence that is not capable of simply taking.

That created an inherent problem in the system,

Right?

The only solution to that is.

The system that the creator created.

Yeah,

In the system of our world,

The system of goodness,

Yes.

Is that if we earn,

If we in some way what we call pay for the goodness that we receive,

We will not feel that we are behaving opposite to our nature,

Right?

Because.

Like just taking for ourselves alone.

Exactly.

So if you have baked a beautiful cake,

As you often do.

And you're gonna break the cake,

Chop the cake.

Really?

Yes.

And I give you $20 for it,

Right?

You received and I received.

You gave and I gave.

So there's a perfect circuitry there.

There isn't one of us,

As opposed to if I'm sitting here and all day and all night,

All you do is give to me.

The problem with that is not that there's anything morally wrong with that,

But rather it goes against what I am.

And an individual,

None of us can in the long term,

Yeah,

In the short term,

We could enjoy things that we didn't earn.

But in the long term,

It goes against our essence to receive that which we didn't pay for.

That which we didn't earn.

I see this a lot with parents and their children,

Right?

Of course,

When children come into the world,

It's set up that the parent gives,

Right?

If we don't give to them,

They're not going to survive.

So we give,

We give,

We give.

But at some point,

Their relationship needs to change and shift where the child then has some self-awareness and they understand that they also need to be part of that system of giving and understanding that that feels better than just receiving.

Correct.

But a lot of times as parents,

We love them so much,

We don't know how else to show them that,

Perhaps.

But I do want to challenge you on one thing.

You said that the creator set up this system,

But there was a flaw in the system.

Not a flaw.

What was the word you used?

Maybe I used the wrong word,

But it's a.

.

.

Because then my point is that the creator in setting it up would already know that it should work.

Why was this.

.

.

But the creator cannot be different than he is or she is or it is,

Right?

It's like saying,

Why can we know about the fact that our world is governed by certain physical rules,

Gravity,

Right?

So it's not that gravity is good or bad,

It's just the way it is,

Right?

So the essence of the creator is a force that gives and does not receive.

And because we are made of the same thing,

Those same rules apply to us.

We are a being created of a force that cannot be satisfied simply receiving.

So it's an inherent issue in this,

But the perfect solution.

And that's why we're talking about this now,

Is that in order for us to enjoy that which we receive,

It must be earned.

Because again,

And I want to make sure this is clear,

Because I think a lot of moral people,

Moral not necessarily a negative thing,

But say,

You have to earn things because that's the right way for it to happen,

Right?

You shouldn't be lazy and just take,

Right?

That's not what we're saying.

And this is what I think makes it so beautiful and more powerful is,

And sometimes again,

We have to learn who we are.

We have to teach our children who they are.

We are made of the same essence of that creative force that created our world.

That is what we are,

Our essence,

Our core.

And therefore receiving without earning is not good or bad,

It is something that is incongruent with what we are.

So because I am made of that essence of the creative force that has a greater desire to share and no desire to receive,

I will never be satisfied.

Will never be satisfied.

Nothing is right or wrong.

It's just about who I am.

Is it almost like if the sun is shining and you're out in the sun and you don't have any sunscreen,

You kind of need something that's not filtering,

But that allows you to receive the goodness?

You can use that analogy,

But I think it's almost like.

.

.

Let me think of a.

.

.

I'll take you for example.

So at this point,

Call it nature or something you develop,

You eat healthy.

So if I put in front of you a pizza pie that a lot of people would really enjoy eating,

And you're not going to eat it,

Not because it's good or bad at this point,

It's just your whole essence,

Your whole body does not.

.

.

And again,

By the way,

I enjoy pizza.

You can't receive it.

And nothing negative about anybody out there enjoys your pizza.

No,

I wish I could receive it.

It goes against what you are now.

It's not even about.

.

.

You're not even making a choice.

For me,

If I would not eat that slice of pizza.

It would be a restriction for you.

It would be a restriction.

It would be a choice.

And many of us,

Every one of our listeners has something either that they've developed or they were born with that is just who they are.

So it's not about.

.

.

And therefore,

I think it's beyond,

I think it's really important,

At least in my mind,

That it's beyond good or bad,

Right or wrong.

It's if you know who and what you are,

You know that you will never be satisfied unless you earn.

And therefore,

You need to go against your basic desires,

Your nature,

Your instinct,

Right?

Exactly.

Of wanting to receive.

Because we do,

Right?

Oh,

I see something shining.

I want that.

Or that person has,

I want that.

I want that.

But then we feel very,

Very unsatisfied after.

So I guess it's that process of transforming,

Restricting,

Creating who you really are meant to be,

Tapping into your potential.

And then once you do that,

Then now you have become more of a giver than a person that is just receiving for the sake alone.

Right.

For the self-assessment.

And when a person doesn't do that,

Then that's when bread of shame comes in.

Right.

So,

And there's another part to this if we can go just a little bit deeper.

Yeah.

You said the 22nd cap.

Nobody else did.

Everything has an inherent energy.

Money has energy.

Clothes have energy.

Children have energy.

They sure do.

So when we talk about earning,

Right?

Investing time and effort.

And this really answered the point here is,

It's not that a person who does not invest the time and effort will never get money.

Like you said,

There are people who have trust funds from the moment they're born.

They will get money,

Right?

Appreciation isn't always,

Will you get money?

Will you enjoy it?

Will you enjoy it?

Will you earn the energy behind it?

You can have two people who have the same car.

One of them loves it.

One of them,

It means nothing to them,

Right?

You can have two people who have a child.

One of them is overwhelmed with appreciation and one doesn't do that much for.

So when we talk about earning,

Investing time and effort,

We're talking about not simply,

While it's true in physical ways and there's,

I'm sure,

Countless studies and books written about the importance of perseverance and hard work,

Why it's important,

Well,

We're going a step further.

We're saying if you want to earn and therefore experience the inherent energy that is within any one of your blessings,

You have to earn it.

And the only way we earn it is by investment of energy,

Which means again,

For example,

Let's use that person who came upon money,

Right?

Did not earn it.

They have to find a way to earn it.

They have to find a way to invest time and energy into it in order to be able to receive its greatest benefits.

Do you even transform that energy of the money that's coming in,

Right?

So maybe they start another business that's helping hungry children in Africa or they are now starting a business.

Whatever it is,

They're taking that thing that was given to them that wasn't earned and then they're working really hard to create something else.

I do have a question for you though,

Because the example you gave of two people having a car,

The same car,

And one is able to receive joy from that,

That possession,

Another one is not.

Often,

I think people think it's because one is a more appreciative person than the other person.

So how does this tie into that idea?

Do you think that once you transform yourself and you actually earn something through this process we're talking about,

Then you're able to have appreciation?

I think that's logically true,

Right?

That we do often have more appreciation for those things that we invested time and effort into rather than the things that just fell in our lap.

But what we're saying is that it's not just a psychological reality,

It's a spiritual reality.

And this is,

Sometimes you have this conversation when people come to you about relationships and there's other reasons why it's important to invest time and effort into your relationship.

But at the most basic level,

What we're saying is that even if everything's amazing,

You want it to keep staying amazing,

You want to keep earning the great energy within your relationship,

Invest time and effort.

Only the things that we continue to invest time and energy into do we have the ability to maintain receiving great energy from.

It's that simple,

That circuitry.

And that's why a person needs to keep sharing and perhaps be charitable and they have to use all that they receive and put it back into a funnel where it can come back again and again.

Right,

Right.

But I'm saying even,

Again,

Money as an example,

Whether it's a relationship,

Whether it's family,

Whether it's any gift,

Those things that are important to us,

Make sure you're investing time and effort into it.

Because the only way to maintain the ability to receive energy and joy from any one of our blessings is if we're continually investing time and energy into it.

It explains so much if you think about relationships between a parent and a child and then they look later on in life.

When did it change?

When did it go?

It was never like that before,

Right?

These changes that occur that we don't recognize if we're not constantly aware of that and working towards that.

Right,

Right.

All righty then.

Do you want to speak more about Bread of Shame?

Oh,

I have a- Oh,

Wait,

Wait.

You didn't answer that question though.

So Bread of Shame,

How did those words come to be?

It's actually an ancient,

About over 2000 year old phrase used by the sages in reference to an individual who receives something that he or she did not earn.

So it's called the ancient Aramaic words are actually Nahamadikhesufah,

Which means bread that causes shame to the individual.

Like an embarrassment.

Yeah,

Because he or she is embarrassed by receiving a gift without earning it.

But obviously,

As we said,

The deeper,

And it's so important that this is clear,

The deeper understanding is again,

It's not a moral right,

Wrong.

It's just that we are our essence,

Cannot abide with receiving that which we haven't earned because we are of the energy of the creator.

You know,

It's interesting.

I was thinking about this today because we're coming upon aporium.

It's a holiday about where we experience a lot of happiness.

And I was thinking about what the difference between happiness and joy is.

Have you ever thought about that?

They seem like the same word pretty much.

And what I came to for me anyway,

I think happiness is a state that you're in.

It's fleeting.

It comes,

It goes,

And there's different levels,

Right?

You can be content,

Feel happy,

You can be elated,

Right?

There's a range of that.

Joy I think is something that permeates your entire being.

It's a place that you arrive to.

And I really think you can only get to a place of joy when you really are able to give and share.

I think it's something that embodies you when you actually become this person that is more a giver than a receiver.

Interesting.

Interesting.

And again,

To be clear,

What we're talking about is not only giving,

Right?

Because if you want to have a successful company and not just again,

Because it might be successful,

But you won't be able to enjoy it.

You have to invest time and effort.

It's that simple.

Hard work.

Yes.

Time and effort and hard work.

And that's why there's a phrase,

An ancient phrase,

Which says,

If you work hard for something and then you come across it,

Then believe that it will stay with you.

Again,

Because you can get something as we said,

But it won't stay with you.

And stay with you does not necessarily only mean it won't physically stay with you.

It's how you feel about it.

Yes.

The joy that you experience.

Yes.

That's so powerful.

I think we've all experienced that.

I can remember times where I felt that.

And one of the important kabbalistic understandings is this,

That this is really the differentiating force between those who almost make it and those who make it.

There's a,

I don't know if the word is scary,

But a true teaching that out of people who are doing something important,

Whether it's spiritual work or anything important in this world,

Out of a thousand people who have the greatest intentions and desires,

Only one in a thousand succeeds.

Why?

Why is it only one in a thousand?

And the kabbalists say those who invest the difficult,

And people might not be an easy word to hear,

Difficult work into anything,

That's the individual who will ultimately succeed in receiving the really endless blessing from whatever work that is.

One in a thousand.

If you think about it,

I think about myself very often,

There are a few endeavors that I'm involved in,

Besides the main work that I do,

That are important to me,

Whether it's my family,

Whether it's my work.

I know something very simple.

No matter how much success or good that I have done,

If I want to do more,

If I want it to continue to be successful for me,

There has to be an investment of difficult,

Hard,

Challenging work into any area that's important for me,

Into any area that's important for me.

By the way,

I'm surprised.

I would be surprised to think that people don't accept that as a universal truth at this point.

I mean- The question is whether even so much of you accept it,

You do it.

I mean,

That's how I've lived my life,

Worked hard for everything,

But I think even if you look at the analogy of giving birth to a child,

Yeah,

The nine months of growing a baby inside your body is uncomfortable.

It's difficult.

It's so many changes in nine months,

But the real difficulty comes when you're going to push.

At that point,

You're not going to say,

Okay,

Well,

I've had nine months of this stuff.

I'm done.

No,

Right?

You're going to see it all the way through to the end.

I do want to talk about this idea of keep pushing on because I think that when we go back to that idea of blood,

Sweat,

And tears,

I think people understand to some degree that that's part of the process.

But then when we put all this energy into what we want to create and we think,

Okay,

Now's the time where everything I put in,

It's going to be revealed,

Whatever that is.

The outcome is now and I'm going to see it.

And then when nothing happens,

You're like,

Oh my God,

It's not meant to be,

Or I wasted all that time,

Or I should have done something else and we stopped pushing.

And like you said,

The one in 1,

000,

What's the difference?

It means that the 10th time they tried,

They didn't give up.

The 100th time that let's say they jumped up on a ladder and they're trying to reach to get to wherever they didn't give up.

The 900th time,

The thousandth time,

They keep trying,

They keep pushing on.

I think for most of us,

Far too often,

We give up as soon as we think that we've done enough of the hard work.

And there's that story in Exodus about Moses and Aaron when they were building the tabernacle.

And they spent all this time building and the Israelites were worried and full of doubt.

And what if nothing happens when we build it?

And Aaron thought it was because of his consciousness and where he was at,

And they almost gave up.

And then they pushed one more time and then that great light was revealed.

The thing is for all of us,

We really never know when that moment of revelation is going to happen,

That moment of everything we worked so hard.

And I think that that it's a trick of the negative side to stop us from actually achieving what we desire and what we're meant to.

Yeah.

There's a,

I think,

A good visual that the sages use.

Ravashlick writes about this,

That imagine that there's a 10 rung ladder that leads you to a room with all kinds of treasures and you spend so much time climbing from the first to the second to the third.

It takes you a long time,

Fourth,

Fifth,

And all along you're like,

Where is it?

I don't see any benefit.

It's like four or five,

Six,

Seven,

Eight.

And you can't see,

You can't actually six,

It's dark up there,

Right?

You can't see the 10th rung.

So you're like,

This could be a hundred.

Who knows exactly.

Right,

Exactly.

And then again,

Most people stop at one,

Two,

Three,

Four,

Five,

Six,

Seven,

Eight,

Nine,

Seven.

The saddest are those who get to nine and stop.

But that's really the way we have to view,

Again,

Anything we're trying to accomplish that's important,

That there has to be that investment.

And related to that,

There's another thing which you mentioned,

Which I think is really,

I actually was talking to a student today who was asking me a question.

He was talking about an investment that he made that didn't go well.

And he was saying,

It was a long cover obviously than this,

But why did it happen?

How did it happen?

And one of the things that's important to remember is that,

And this is one of the laws,

One of the most important laws of physics,

That energy never goes away.

It can change form,

But never goes away.

Energy in a closed system always remains constant.

Which means it's never wasted.

It's never wasted.

So one of the things that my father often reminded me is that,

And this happens in life,

You invest time and effort with an individual,

With one person,

And then for whatever reason,

They let you down.

And my father would always remind me that,

Remember,

You've invested that energy,

That energy is yours.

It doesn't matter if that person then goes away,

That energy is yours.

It will manifest through somebody else.

Same thing with work.

A person can invest energy,

And it doesn't mean that every endeavor is going to come out as we want it,

But we have to remember that the energy that we created,

That we invested is ours.

And if it doesn't manifest here,

It'll manifest somewhere else.

And I have so many stories from people that I've met and students where this is so true,

But you have to have that consciousness.

Because if you think,

I invested five years with this person,

And then they let me down at the end,

All the time and energy is wasted,

You actually lose the contact with it.

You lose the energy.

But if you understand that the energy invested against you,

A person spent five years building a business and nothing happened from it,

If he or she remembers that energy doesn't go away,

That energy is mine,

And then they start another business,

And then suddenly in a year,

It's more than they can imagine why,

Because they've held on to that energy from before.

But also something always happens.

There's no nothingness,

Right?

So I think the problem is we're often looking in front of us like,

I expected this to happen.

What I thought would be.

But if you turn around and you look,

And you're like,

Wait,

From where I came from,

Who I am,

Who I've become,

The other things that I've created in that process,

That's still energy that was actually quite useful.

Our problem is we have tunnel vision,

Right?

It's only expected to be this way.

I wanted to turn out this way.

And if it wasn't what I intended,

Then it was a failure,

Which is not true at all.

You spoke of ladders,

And there's this quote from the Kotzkarebi,

And he shared in regards to perseverance.

He said,

When our souls descend into this world,

It's brought down on a ladder,

And as we're born,

We fall off the ladder.

He explains that our process in life is to leap toward the ladder and jump onto it again and again.

And what I like actually is the second part of that he says is that most people jump a few times and give up.

Then there are others who jump 100 times.

A thousand,

Right?

Then they jump a thousand and give up.

And now those who jump 10,

000 times.

Only those who never stop jumping,

The creator comes and lifts them up.

And that's the idea.

Really,

I think these are two married ideas,

The importance of investing effort and perseverance.

And when you understand effort,

You understand perseverance.

And also understanding energy,

Like we just said before.

And there's actually a quote from Michelangelo.

It's funny because you spoke about curiosity,

How this is a little bit off topic,

But Walter Isaacson wrote this book about Michelangelo.

He had an amazing book about an amazing person.

And he pointed out one of the most important things.

And of course,

Michelangelo both created and wrote about both in science and other arenas,

Amazing things.

One of the great and unique characteristics of Michelangelo was curiosity.

He literally would write down in his notebook,

What does the tongue of a certain bird look like?

He was curious about everything.

Everything.

I love that.

He was curious about everything and therefore he was able to discover.

And that's the difference again.

So again,

Well,

Though we're talking about the importance of investing effort and perseverance,

I think that idea of always being curious,

Like you said before,

Where a person says,

Okay,

I built this business.

I really wanted this to succeed.

It didn't.

Now I'm curious,

Where's my energy actually going to manifest?

Is it here?

Is it there?

We keep investing effort.

But where has it manifested?

Exactly.

Let me just pause and look around for a second.

Exactly.

But what I want to say,

Michelangelo,

Again,

One of my favorite quotes from Michelangelo.

He said,

If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery,

It would not seem so wonderful.

I love that.

Right.

The effort that he had to invest.

It'd be quite messy.

Yes.

I love that.

Yeah.

If people knew how much hard work he had to put into his mastery,

Invest in it.

And that's the point.

The point is- People think it's effortless.

Yeah.

People see a statue or painting.

I can never do that,

But they don't know.

Was he up for nights and like- And I think if we can inspire our listeners to this,

Every one of our listeners has something unbelievable to bring into this world.

But that will never happen unless there is an investment of great effort,

Perseverance and curiosity.

And again,

I always get excited about if even one of our listeners hears this and does not give up next time,

Continues to invest,

I promise you will come to be amazed.

Because for me,

The Michelangelo quote isn't about Michelangelo,

It's about us.

We sometimes,

When we're feeling sad about ourselves or down about ourselves,

Oh,

Why is it so easy for them and why is it so hard for me?

Why does nothing ever go right for me?

And things like that.

You have something amazing to bring into this world,

But the only way that you will access it and the only way that you will manifest it is with difficult work,

Perseverance and that sense of curiosity.

I love that because it's actually leading me into my next idea,

Which is,

Are you being too hard on yourself?

So I think that we know we can't really expect to be fulfilled without some kind of hard work.

I think that's a given to some extent,

Not how hard it will be,

But it requires some.

You can't,

There's nothing.

You're not going to be something- I think you're not,

You know this and we've been surprised sometimes,

In sometimes some people expectation- Yes,

Usually it's young people,

Really young people or- Yeah,

Sometimes older people.

Younger souls.

By the way,

And sometimes us,

Right?

I mean,

The idea is that- Yes.

So Dr.

Andrea Pennington,

She's a doctor of integrative medicine and a TEDx speaker and she honed in on this idea that,

Because this happens also in our spiritual work too,

We can be really hard on ourselves.

Why?

Because we're really looking internally at all the things that we need to change about ourselves.

There's a fine line that we walk there between being degrading to ourselves versus,

Oh,

Let me really look at this and say,

Okay,

What do I need to change from a healthy space?

She says,

Those of us who are seeking to be better have the hardest time with self-compassion.

She writes,

When we step onto the path toward becoming our best self,

We open our eyes,

Hearts and minds to seeing ourselves deeply from the inside out.

Beginning or deepening our spiritual journey involves coming face to face with the darkest aspects of our personalities.

We must embrace our darkness to shine brighter.

Now,

Seeing our darkness is not something that some are excited to see necessarily,

Right?

It's difficult at times.

But the first thing we need to know is that we're not alone in that.

Everyone has darkness and light and they coexist within each of us,

Right?

That's a given.

And the second is your path to spiritual growth doesn't have to be so hard.

I think there's some easily misunderstood concepts like you have to see things through the end or don't shy away from the challenge.

But you also have to be able to recognize when certain things just aren't working for you.

Like I had a student who,

She had a mentor in business and this mentor was making her have a lot of self-doubt,

Feel horrible about herself.

And it was doing the opposite of what the mentor is meant to do.

And she's beating herself up about why she can't relate to her and how she must be wrong because after all,

This mentor has to be right.

And I said to her,

Just I looked at her and I said,

Well,

Why don't you just change a mentor?

And she never thought about that,

Right?

Because it was so about her not being good enough and not being compassionate enough because she really put all of her eggs in this basket.

And I gave her the example like when I work out,

If I have a trainer who has the same energy that I do,

The same kind of stamina,

The same type of music,

The speed of the music,

Right?

We're going,

It's just a synergy.

We're going to enjoy that together more.

I never stop and say,

Okay,

There's something wrong with me that I'm not enjoying this class as much as the last class.

So I think it's also how we look at the process that we go through in trying to create and cultivate something and that hard work.

There is a time to pause actually and say,

Okay,

Is this actually working instead of being so incredibly hard on ourselves,

Even when it comes to spirituality.

For sure.

In all things.

And I think that's a very important point that I just want to again,

Just underline it that if somebody is making you feel bad,

Something's wrong.

Right?

I mean,

By the way,

Maybe once,

Twice,

But if it's a consistent theme in your relationship with anybody,

That's not,

That's,

You know,

There's a- That makes you question yourself so completely.

Right.

There's a teaching at the boss show that he says,

How do you know if something's coming from the right place or the wrong place?

If it motivates you to do more,

Then it's coming from the right place.

If it kind of depresses you or pushes you back,

It's a simple indication that it's not coming from the right place.

And I think that's a very important point that what we're saying about perseverance and investing time,

It doesn't mean that every endeavor is going to be the right one or that we should continue with every single one.

All it is is that we should continue working hard,

But maybe not in this area or maybe not in this business or maybe not in this relationship.

Absolutely.

And that self-compassion,

As you said,

Is both externally and internally.

But if you're not compassionate for yourself,

Obviously you will allow others not to be compassionate towards you.

But I think that's the basic rule.

Any thought you have about yourself,

Is it motivating you to do more?

Then it's coming from the right place.

If it's in any way pushing you down,

Then no matter how you think you might view it,

Spiritual,

Important,

It's not coming from the right place.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

So I think that's a really important concept to understand as well.

So I wanted to,

Before we get to a letter,

Which I think is very apropos to everything we're talking about.

I just have something.

Oh,

Sorry.

No,

No.

I don't want to steal.

No,

I will save it for the outro.

You go ahead.

My question is,

Some could be recent or a time that recently you realized that you needed to invest more time and effort in some area.

Yeah.

All the time.

In study.

It's always in study.

What do you mean by in study?

I give this advice to a lot of people to really spend time and energy on what's the most important thing.

But then when you live a full life,

One that feels rich and that brings you happiness,

It's not always easy to carve out all the time for the things that feed you.

So I tend to,

And I do,

I do put energy in all places that I think are important that add to who I am as a human being.

But the thing that nurtures me and satiates me the most is study,

Spiritual study,

Reading.

And by the way,

We do a lot,

But it's never enough.

And it's always an indication of,

For me,

When it's not enough,

When I start to feel like a little moody or I get a little mercurial.

I'm having nervous,

By the way.

Hey you.

Yes,

I was like that.

No,

Ever,

Ever.

Yeah,

I know.

I love you too.

Was that rude?

No.

Yes.

We'll have our listeners share.

And they will.

But yeah,

So I would say that that for me is,

Because by the way,

When I do,

It's like nothing makes me happier.

Nothing brings me more joy,

But it's always been the greatest discipline to like sit down.

I don't like it because I like movement.

To sit is really difficult for me.

So there you have it.

And to my point is because I love movement and I love music and dancing,

When I was thinking about we were- That's a shout out to Tracy Anderson Method for those of you who don't know.

Tracy Anderson,

My friend and confidant.

But also music and the two songs that for me have been my go-to in working hard and pushing myself.

I know what you know.

Yes,

It's my life.

There you go.

Jon Bon Jovi.

And also,

Which was your father's favorite song is My Way with Frank Sinatra.

And actually Jon Bon Jovi mentions Frankie in the songs.

I'm just going to read the lyrics very quick.

Not all of it,

But the part that really like when I'm feeling like really excited about something I'm working on or I want to create something,

I'll blast.

It's my life.

I've noticed.

Right.

I did that today.

So Jon says,

So I ain't going to be just a face in the crowd.

You're going to hear my voice when I shout it out loud because I like a bit of moxie,

Right?

Like that inspires me.

It's my life.

It's now or never.

I'm not going to live forever.

I just want to live while I'm alive.

And those are like sobering words,

Right?

Why are you smiling?

No,

No,

No.

I can sing it if you want.

Go for it.

Yes.

And then he says like Frankie said,

It's not,

No,

It's not.

But no,

I need the karaoke machine.

Like Frankie said,

I did it my way.

This is for the ones who stood their ground.

Tomorrow's getting harder.

Make no mistake.

Luck ain't ever luck.

Got to make your own breaks because you know how I feel about lucky and unlucky.

And then Frank Sinatra with my way,

The end is near.

So I face the final curtain.

Again,

I like a little bit of sobering lyrics.

I've lived a life that's full.

I've traveled each and every highway and more,

Much more than this.

I did it my way.

Regrets.

I've had a few,

But then again,

Too few to mention.

Yes,

There were times when I bit off more than I could chew,

But through it all,

When there was doubt,

I ate it and spit it out.

I faced it all and stood tall.

I did it my way.

So I don't know.

I think that for all our listeners,

Find your thing that's going to get you through the day or get you through that moment of doubt or like I can't do it or I can't push another time and just persevere.

Beautiful,

Beautiful.

I'll share two things.

I didn't write the song like beautiful.

You're sharing it.

Two things.

You mentioned luck and one of my favorite quotes about that is that,

I forget exactly who said this,

But I'm a big believer in luck and I find that the more effort and work I put into something,

The more lucky I get.

I like that.

And the second thing you mentioned,

Frank Sinatra.

So I know we're going a little bit over time and those are our listeners who know the story.

What's time?

I mean,

We did a podcast sometime.

Yes.

One of my favorite Frank Sinatra stories,

There's a comedian,

His name is Don Rickles.

I'm sure many of our listeners know.

So the story goes that he was friends,

Don Rickles and Frank Sinatra were friends.

Frank Sinatra was known as sort of a tough guy.

So Don Rickles is having dinner with his wife-to-be or with his father-in-law-to-be and he really wants to impress them.

So in the middle of dinner,

He's sitting in the restaurant and he sees that Frank Sinatra is sitting at a different table.

So he goes over to Frank Sinatra's table.

He says,

Frank,

Do me a favor.

I'm sitting here with my wife-to-be,

My father-in-law-to-be.

Come over,

Say hello.

He says,

No,

You haven't come here.

He says,

No,

No,

No.

I truly,

I really want,

Come to my table.

He says,

Okay,

Okay,

I'll do it.

Don Rickles goes back to his table.

He's sitting there with his wife-to-be,

With his father-in-law-to-be and Frank Sinatra comes over.

He's like,

Don,

So good to see you.

And Don says,

Frankie,

I'm eating.

Don't bother me.

That was one of my favorite stories.

Okay.

A little bit off topic,

But hopefully it brought a smile to some of our listeners.

So I want to share a story.

It's interesting because no coincidence.

Even the stories that our listeners are sharing are very much apropos,

Even though they're talking about previous podcasts,

The podcast that we're recording now.

And I want to remind all of our listeners that we really love receiving your stories,

Your questions,

Everything that you share with us,

Even if you don't get an opportunity to share it,

It really inspires us.

Please continue to send them to Monica and Michael at kibale.

Com.

Your stories,

Your observations,

Your questions,

Your inspirations.

So this is an email from Justin.

The title is long overdue letter.

I have written this message many times over the past nine years.

Most of those attempts were only in consciousness,

Only twice finding the ability to contain my thoughts to start this message.

The first time I wrote it to you,

Michael,

Was about seven years ago.

Though I did finally complete writing that time,

I never sent the letter.

The second attempt was a week ago.

After having fought with myself for weeks,

I finally decided to write to you both.

After I had an incredible experience,

I had one morning while we were playing mentally the episode where Michael spoke to our ability to go back in time and actually be in the reality of prior moments.

So I worked in the letter all day throughout work while driving and between customers.

I hope you weren't typing while you were driving,

But using a speech to text transcriber.

I was so happy that I was finally going to say all that I felt I needed to say.

After my last customer,

I went to finish up the letter and as I am sure you can guess by this point,

The letter was gone.

After a few seconds of frustration,

I reminded myself that A,

There must be some great light that needs to be revealed through the process and B,

If the letter was gone,

It was obviously not what I should be writing about.

I see in hindsight my letter was an attempt for me to get an ego boost by telling you the great things I was able to do through my study and physical time.

The ego had won again and all I spoke about was every right decision I made and how deeply I study and how much I know,

In quotes.

So instead I'm going to go a different direction and feel free to share any or all of this letter if you feel someone may grow from it.

So I have a question about something I'm having great difficulty.

So by the way,

Before I get to the question,

Again to all of our listeners,

Please,

Please,

Please write all of your experiences.

Anything you want to share,

We really,

Really enjoy receiving them and it continues to inspire us.

So I've been studying for close to 10 years and I'm well past the point of having any trace of doubt as to the validity,

Authenticity and power of this wisdom.

Being a Virgo,

This has led to a serious problem for me in two ways.

Not right looking at me.

Monica's a Virgo for those of you who don't know.

First is that I find it very difficult to forgive myself for not living as I know I should be for the benefit of my soul.

Right?

And we just spoke about that,

The idea of being compassionate with ourselves.

Though I have been blessed to see many miracles,

I find it too easy to hide what I know for myself to not feel the responsibility of it.

How can I practically keep in mind teachings and awakenings I have had at all times?

So it's interesting as I said that this is exactly what you spoke about just a few minutes ago.

My second major issue is that I find it very hard to not want to teach people this wisdom.

Obviously I'm not a teacher,

But I have a genuine burning desire to want to share this wisdom.

The issue is that I allow it to frustrate me when someone doesn't see that I'm coming from a place of love,

Even in cases where I've sat back and truly thought about how to word things to not come off as offensive or have or the like.

Now logically I know that a person not being in a place to receive something has nothing to do with me.

What I can and need to control is my emotional response to the situation.

I have found it much easier to just not try anymore with certain loved ones,

But now I sense resentment in myself for them not being open to hear my message.

How can I balance this desire to teach and share and help others to grow while focusing as well on my own growth?

Now that I write this,

I think I have the answer.

Just focus on my own growth.

I apologize for being so wordy.

Don't apologize.

We enjoyed it and I'm sure our listeners are as well,

But trust that I stopped myself.

I love you both dearly and thank you so,

So much for everything you have done and continue to do.

Thank you for being you,

Justin.

Thanks,

Justin.

Thank you,

Justin.

And again,

I know Monica,

If you want to say anything about the second question,

But I think as Justin said,

The answer is self-evident.

And as we always say,

We do this podcast for people like Justin and all the rest of our listeners because we are so inspired by this wisdom and inspires us to be able to share it.

If you want to help share this podcast with as many people as you can,

Go to Apple Podcasts and everywhere else you get your podcasts,

Write five star reviews,

Write great reviews.

We read them and I really appreciate them.

Thank you.

We really appreciate them.

Yes,

We both really appreciate them.

Make sure to continue writing your stories,

Questions,

Comments,

Anything else to monica and michael at kabala.

Com.

Monica and michael at kabala.

Com.

We hope that you enjoyed this podcast as much as we enjoyed recording it.

And I did it my way.

Yay.

Yes,

By the way,

If you want Monica to sing more often on the podcast,

Please let us know.

I feel like I sing.

No,

Please don't.

I think all these people say you don't have a good voice.

Do not sing.

No,

No,

Nobody should say that.

But if you do want to hear more of Monica's tunes- I tend to sing on every episode now.

Do you remember those said in your likes?

Why do I do that?

I like it.

I like it.

I like it.

I'm so happy.

Yes.

We'll be coming out with a record- Or maybe when I'm happy I sing.

Yes.

Maybe both.

Yes.

What record?

What?

No,

No,

No.

We'll be coming out with a record of Monica's singing on the Spiritually Hungry podcast.

Not going to happen.

Again,

We hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed listening to Monica sing and the rest of The Wisdom.

And please,

Again,

Make sure to share this with everybody.

Make sure to write positive reviews,

Five star reviews.

Sure.

I think it's funny that you do this every time.

I love that though because that's really advocating for us and perseverance.

I'd be like,

Nobody wants to hear this every week,

But I think it's really good.

Okay.

By the way,

If you do not want to hear this every week,

Email us at monicaandmichael.

Com.

By the way,

I'm going to continue doing it whether you want to hear this or not,

But please let us know if you do.

That's why I always have an amusing look on my face when I do this part.

Sing something.

Okay.

Bye.