Give Yourself A Patient Little Christmas

Dear friends,

The season of goodwill can bring about mixed feelings in many of us.

Just as we get ourselves past Halloween,

The excitement begins,

The lights,

The advertisements,

And as the days go by there is a growing schedule of social gatherings and an increasingly frantic rush towards the 25th of December.

In religious terms,

It's a special time when Christians the world over commemorate the birth of Jesus.

On the secular side,

People in the Northern Hemisphere celebrate the passing of the shortest day,

The winter solstice,

The beginning of the return of the light.

In Ireland we have a megalithic tomb at Newgrange,

Believed to be as old or older than the pyramids.

It contains a passage leading into a central chamber.

Even after the passage of millennia,

The tomb remains aligned with the rising sun on the mornings around the winter solstice.

At this time of the year,

It's difficult not to be caught up to the point of exhaustion,

And so this reflection encourages us to approach the season more calmly and more patiently.

So take a seat or settle onto your cushion.

It's quite alright if this is beside the Christmas tree.

Forget for a moment the last minute gifts to be bought,

Cards and messages to be sent,

And relax in the knowledge that right here and right now,

In this place,

Everything is just fine.

For now,

And for you,

There is nothing to do except to sit in grateful appreciation,

Enjoying these few moments of relaxation.

A breathing exercise can help to bring you back to yourself in busy times like this.

There's no need even to close your eyes.

As you are breathing in,

Just become aware of the fact that you are breathing in,

And what a wonderful thing this is.

And as you breathe out,

Remind yourself to simply let things be,

Knowing that everything will settle in its own time.

Let's have a one minute pause now.

The poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow once wrote,

The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain.

We can use the same idea at this time of year.

When it's Christmasing,

Let it Christmas.

Don't let yourself be caught up in worries and concerns which deprive you of the opportunity to enjoy this magical time of year.

A time of giving can become a time of shopping,

Shopping till we drop.

But let us remember that most of us listening to this meditation already have much more than we need.

We don't need more things.

What we do need is more connection.

So let our gift be the giving of ourselves,

Finding time for one another,

Time to really listen and really pay attention to what's going on in the life of the other person.

Some people manage to avoid the stress of this season by getting away from it all and by ignoring all the goings on around them.

If that is your personality type,

That is fine.

There is a tendency for us to wish that people would not be alone at Christmas,

Not be left alone.

It's important to accept that we all have a right to choose.

If someone wishes to be alone and if they're happy in that state,

We shouldn't worry them by suggesting that there's anything wrong with their decision.

For the majority of us,

There is no escaping,

Nor is there a wish to escape,

But our happiness can be lost by holding on to the idea that we must create the perfect Christmas.

Just as the best is said to be the enemy of the good,

So the best planned Christmas with all its stresses can be the enemy of a happy Christmas.

Instead,

Let us enter into the real spirit of the season by taking things as they come.

It's better to be surprised by what happens than be disappointed by the falling apart of set plans and expectations.

One of the challenges of Christmas festivities is that they can involve the coming together of people who only come together at this time of the year.

This is especially a cause for concern if expectations are high.

Let's accept the fact that some people will never be happy,

Never be the happy,

Reasonable,

Cooperative people that we would like them to be.

In the course of these get-togethers,

We will find ourselves in the company of family members with whom,

Let's put it gently,

We find somewhat difficult.

But at this family gathering time of year,

What can we do?

Let's remember to take a deep breath as we come to meet these people.

You know,

Everything and everyone changes,

And the encounter this time may be an improvement on the last meet-up.

Anyway,

Let's be open to that possibility.

But let us not be upset if the same attitude is displayed again.

Some people find it difficult to change their ways.

Just be patient and enjoy what can be enjoyed.

And there is so much there to be enjoyed when we get together with people who,

For the most part,

Are people we love dearly.

The mystic Julian of Norwich reassures us by telling us,

All shall be well,

And all shall be well,

And all manner of things shall be well.

In any moment of difficulty,

It's important to take a mindful breath and remember that this too shall pass.

Let's have another one-minute pause now.

One of our problems at this time of the year is that we suffer from FOMO,

The fear of missing out.

FOMO can tempt us to overstretch ourselves by accepting each and every invitation that comes our way.

Now,

None of us wish to become the killjoy who will always respond by saying no.

But we must try to maintain a balance.

It is all right to graciously decline an invitation.

Some of us,

And I include myself in this,

Have a tendency to offer an excuse when it comes to saying no.

In fact,

In reality,

There is no need for excuses when we can respond with just a simple,

Thank you,

I'd love to,

But no.

It's also acceptable for us to leave a gathering early if it suits us to leave early.

We don't have to hang on in there until the very end of the party.

Sometimes it is we who set the bar too high,

Not only for ourselves,

But for other people.

The Religious Society of Friends,

The Quakers,

They have a calm approach to Christmas and to other days of general celebration.

They consider any day to be as important as the next.

Maybe we could take a leaf from their book and accept Christmas and all its trimmings with gratitude,

But without the guilt feeling that sometimes accompanies the festival.

Let's settle for simplicity,

Happiness in the ordinary things,

And not let's build up disappointment for ourselves by expecting more than ordinary magic.

As we near the end of this meditation,

I've selected a number of readings that you might find helpful.

You may be familiar with Psalm 23 in the Jewish tradition.

The Lord is my shepherd,

I shall not want.

He makes me to lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside the still waters.

He restores my soul.

And a prayer from Saint Teresa of Avila.

Let nothing disturb you,

Let nothing frighten you.

All things are passing,

God never changes.

Let these words and our breathing exercises help to bring us to a place of stillness in the midst of the busyness of life.

And just remember too,

That the Christmas story itself is not one of bright lights and advertising.

The Christmas scene is not set in a hotel or a holiday resort.

It happens in a shed or outhouse,

Where we are told a baby is born,

Surrounded by Mary his mother,

Joseph his father,

And a couple of animals,

An ox and a donkey.

The baby's first visitors are shepherds who are out in the nearby fields,

Minding their sheep.

This is a far cry from the twinkling lights and the alluring displays,

Which light up the dark nights of winter.

The thought of this simple scene will help us to keep some perspective in the midst of the hustle and bustle of Christmas.

Most of us will be familiar with a well-known hymn,

Which is part of the Christmas music selection.

Silent night,

Holy night,

All is calm,

All is bright.

And its final words,

Sleep in heavenly peace,

Sleep in heavenly peace.

May your Christmases,

This year and every year,

Be celebrations where you enjoy peace and happiness.

And day by brightening day,

May the growing light which follows the winter solstice guide you to a happy tomorrow.

Namaste.