The Heroine's Journey Part 4: Meeting The Mentor

Well,

Welcome to those of you who are new to this circle.

My name is Marcella Friel and I am a mentor myself.

I am a guide and support for women who are seeking to heal the spiritual roots of their yo-yo dieting,

Binge eating,

Sugar addiction,

And body shaming.

Anybody fall into any of those categories here?

Just give me a shout out.

Let me know I'm talking to the right women.

Yeah.

Okay,

Great.

I am doing a series on the teachings of the heroine's journey.

Good morning,

Tanya.

Yay.

Glad you're here.

So I work with women who struggle with food,

But I am not your typical sort of eat this,

Don't eat that kind of diet coach,

You know,

Or nutritionist or whatever.

When I got into this work with women like you,

What I began to realize was that the food struggles were kind of like the very tip of the pyramid,

You know,

And that underneath all of that was all of the stresses and traumas and negative core beliefs that,

You know,

Drive you and me and any of us,

All of us,

You know,

To reach for the foods that no longer serve us.

Right.

So I tend to work at that,

What I call the boiler room level.

Yeah.

We go down into the boiler room and we fix the pipes down there and then the behaviors and,

You know,

The manifestation sort of follows from that.

And so I was inspired to create a 12 part live event series here on Insight Timer,

Following the path of the heroine's journey,

Because something that I realized in my own life and also just early on in my healing work is that all acts of healing are acts of heroism.

All acts of healing are acts of heroism.

It takes courage to heal.

It doesn't take that much courage to take a pill and be out of pain,

But it takes a lot of courage to really face the shadow.

So Jesus said,

If you bring forth what is within you,

What is within you will heal you.

And if you.

So to bring those of you who are new,

To bring you current,

What I thought I would start with is just a little overview of the heroine's journey as we have been covering it.

And then I want to talk specifically about meeting the mentor.

And then what we'll do is we'll do some EFT tapping today to help you specifically.

I thought it would be good to focus on accessing the inner mentor,

Your inner mentor,

Your intuition.

For those of you who might not be familiar with the heroine's journey,

The heroine's journey begins in the ordinary world where things are good or maybe they're good enough,

But not great.

So for example,

Let's say you're working a job and you clock in at nine o'clock every morning and you clock out at five o'clock every afternoon.

And it's not your dream job.

It's not your vision,

Particularly of how you want to live your life.

However,

You know that like clockwork on the 15th and the 30th of every month,

You know exactly to the penny,

The paycheck that you're going to get,

And you've got all your finances planned out.

And it's,

You know,

Again,

It's good enough.

It works for the time being,

But maybe there's a deeper call in your soul for more.

So that is the heroine's predicament in the ordinary world.

And she's kind of going along to get along.

And then the second stage of the heroine's journey comes in,

Which is the call to adventure.

And the call to adventure can show up continuing on this metaphor of working this nine to five job.

The heroine walks in one morning and notices that the receptionist is looking a little pale.

And she discovers that suddenly,

You know,

There's been massive layoffs and this job that she thought was her security blanket and maybe her golden handcuffs.

It's like,

Zoop,

The rug gets pulled out from underneath her.

And of course,

That inspires fear and panic and all the rest of it.

And maybe it also brings with it simultaneously,

A tremendous feeling of relief and liberation and like,

Oh,

Finally,

I can take these handcuffs off and get out of this place.

So that's stage two is the call to adventure.

And then there is stage three,

Which is the refusal of the call.

And this is where,

You know,

That heroine,

While she's been going to her nine to five job has been dreaming of,

Let's say,

Being an entrepreneur.

Often the first impulse there is stage three of the journey,

Which is the refusal of the call.

And one of the ways that we refuse the call is we say,

Well,

Who am I?

And it can be a very shaming kind of question,

Right?

Well,

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are to be an entrepreneur?

Who do you think you are to be an artist?

Who do you think you are to run a marathon or start your own business?

Or who do you think you are to actually heal from this cancer?

You know,

Cancer doesn't get healed.

It doesn't get cured.

You know,

Who are you to do this?

Who are you to lose all that weight and look beautiful?

You know,

So the call to adventure comes up and then immediately comes the self-doubt and the questioning.

And what I learned through my own process of refusing the call is that that question of who do you think you are is a great question if you take out the kind of stigma of the shame.

Do you get that?

So,

You know,

Who do you think you are?

You know,

I mean,

Who are you?

Well,

You will get clues to that as the path unfolds.

You know,

The world,

You know,

You take an action,

You step out into the world,

The world gives you feedback,

And from that you begin to shape your sense of your capacity and what's possible for you and so on.

Okay,

So here we have stages one,

Two,

And three,

And the heroine is going along and now she's in quite a predicament where she can't go back to her old ways.

She can't quite go forward.

She can't stay still.

Things are very new and they're very disorienting,

And this is precisely the point where the mentor appears.

In traditional mythic literature,

The mentor can be a teacher,

A guide.

It can be,

Sometimes it's a totem animal.

Raven is perched in a tree and has a message for the heroine.

Right at this point of hesitation,

Doubt,

This is where the mentor can come in,

And as I was just saying,

The mentor can be,

You know,

A human being.

It can be an animal.

Sometimes the mentor is the book that falls off the shelf right at the exact moment.

That actually happened to a friend of mine.

He was starting to become curious about Buddhism and he was in a bookstore and literally this book like jumped out at him.

So the mentor is someone or something that guides you through the duration of your heroine's journey,

And what is the function of that mentor?

So the mentor is not your mother,

Not a cop.

It might be a therapist,

But,

You know,

It's more like a wise wisdom person.

They're not an expert,

You know,

They're not your boss.

A mentor is someone who has walked the journey,

Made the journey that you are aspiring to make,

And who can advise you or point you back,

Points the heroine back to what you already have available to you in terms of your own native resources,

Your own wisdom,

Your own inspiration,

Your own understanding.

So if you think about your call to adventure as kind of like a candle,

The mentor comes with the match to light the flame.

The mentor does not do the work for you,

But rather creates the conditions and asks the right questions and perhaps brings in resources once again to help point you back to what you already know,

And this is really important.

When you are seeking out a mentor,

Let's say you're ready to start healing your relationship with binge eating,

Sneak eating,

Whatever it happens to be.

Now you could go on a diet.

You could do some kind of food regimen.

You could do an app.

As we know,

You know,

There's no shortage of those kinds of things,

But ultimately the aim,

At least as I see it,

Is for you to come into your own authentic relationship with your body,

Your self-care,

Your wisdom,

To eat the foods that feel good to you,

Which might not be the foods that feel good to the woman sitting right next to you,

Okay?

This is when I was a culinary arts instructor.

We used to talk about,

You know,

Bio-individuality,

That each person has their own constitution,

Has their own lifestyle,

Has their own.

So it's,

You know,

What is going to work for you?

There has to be,

In order for the mentorship relationship to really synergize and work,

There has to be some connection between the heroine's inner wisdom and the guidance that the mentor is offering.

Otherwise,

There's no going forward.

The mentor is holding the mirror,

And what that mirror is reflecting back to you is your own wisdom.

You know,

As we know,

There are a lot of shadow mentors out there.

There are people who would handily take your money and try to basically con you or deceive you into their path,

What they think you should do,

Which invariably fails only about 100% of the time,

Or even worse,

Take you into the underworld.

We're seeing a lot of that these days,

Like in the online spaces,

In social media.

You know,

The way young maidens,

Young girls especially,

On social media are extremely vulnerable to predators disguised as friends or predators disguised as teachers.

Do you see?

So this is small thing.

This is no small thing that I'm talking about here.

It's very,

Very important that in the mentor relationship,

There is a sense of a mutual exchange of wisdom.

So I want to invite you to take that away and take that into your world and really,

You know,

Take a look at the other heroines in your life,

Especially the younger maiden heroines,

And what are they facing because it's quite a,

You know,

It's quite a predicament right now.

Ideally,

The mentor-student relationship is one of continuous learning for both.

Okay,

So let's do some tapping.

I want to do some tapping today,

Apropos of this synergy of mentor and mentee,

Of helping you cultivate and trust your intuition.

So the word intuition,

If you think about it,

In and tuition,

The inner teacher,

The intuition often shows up as a very unreasonable voice,

And especially in the context of the heroine's journey.

You can have a desire for something that is very,

Very deep in your heart,

And it seems completely outrageous,

Completely unreasonable.

And I heard somebody say,

If it's your calling,

It will keep calling.

Once again,

I want to invite you to call to mind,

Call to your heart the adventure that awaits you.

Something that is really going to expand your life,

Expand your horizons of possibility,

Fulfill something you've been dreaming about for a long time.

Yeah.

And then feel into whatever resistance might be there,

Whatever doubt,

Whatever excuses you might be making.

And then just see how strong those are on a scale of one to 10,

With 10 being the strongest.

Okay.

Good.

Nice.

Okay.

So if you're brand new to tapping,

Just say as I say,

Do as I do,

And feel free to use your own words if mine don't resonate with you.

Here we go.

Even though I am feeling this call to adventure in the center of my heart,

Go ahead and say it,

Another part of me feels scared and doubtful.

Another part of me is resisting this call.

And I would love to somehow find the deeper wisdom within,

Deeper than the resistance,

That is giving me everything I need to move forward.

Great.

Okay.

Good.

Let's go up to the top of the head.

Oh,

Yes.

I have this deep desire in my heart.

Okay.

Tapping inside the eyebrow,

This deep,

Deep call to adventure.

Tapping on the side of the eye.

Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a deep desire to fulfill this desire?

Good.

Under the eye.

Just thinking about it expands my horizons of possibility.

Okay.

Good.

Under the nose.

And then I get into doubt.

Under the mouth.

And then I get into fear.

Okay.

Collarbone.

People like me can't do things like this.

Under the arm.

Where's the money going to come from?

Top of the head.

Everybody's going to think I've lost my mind.

Good.

Inside the eyebrow.

I'm going to outshine my tribe.

Okay.

Good.

Side of the eye.

All this fear.

Under the eye.

All the ways it is so hard for me to trust my vision.

Good.

Under the nose.

I totally acknowledge all of that.

Good.

Under the mouth.

And I choose as best I can today,

Collarbone,

To respectfully set all that fear and doubt aside.

Good.

Under the arm.

And to invite my inner mentor to come forward.

Yay.

Here comes the mentor.

Back up to the top of the head.

My inner teacher.

Good.

Inside the eyebrow.

My inner guide.

Good.

Side of the eye.

My inner wisdom.

Yes.

Good.

Under the eye.

The part of me that already has the answers.

Good.

Under the nose.

The part of me that holds up the mirror.

Good.

Under the mouth.

So I can see myself for who I really am.

Oh,

I love where this is going.

Okay.

Collarbone.

Ah,

The truth is I am a brave heroine.

Nice.

Under the arm.

I am a beautiful heroine.

Good.

Top of the head.

I have the courage even just to listen.

Right?

Good.

Inside the eyebrow.

I am willing to summon my faith.

Okay.

Side of the eye.

Following my inner guidance.

Good.

Under the eye.

Manifesting as an external wisdom mentor.

Good.

Under the nose.

Showing me the way.

Under the mouth.

Providing resources.

Collarbone.

Helping me focus.

Good.

Under the arm.

Breaking it down into tiny steps.

Good.

Back up to the top of the head.

This will be the last round.

Oh,

I don't know how this is all going to work out.

Inside the eyebrow.

If I did know,

It wouldn't be as exciting.

Good.

Okay.

Side of the eye.

So,

I therefore invite my intuition.

Under the eye.

My inner teacher.

Under the nose.

To come forward and show me the way.

Under the mouth.

To manifest my external mentor who is aligned with my internal mentor.

Okay.

Collarbone.

To help me take the next right steps forward.

Good.

Okay.

Last one.

Here we go.

And I'm really curious to see how this is all going to play out.

Play out.

Nice.

Wow.

Okay.

Let's shake.

Shake,

Shake,

Shake,

Shake,

Shake.

Take a drink of water.

Okay.

How are you doing?

How was that tapping for you?

Ginger,

This is so valuable,

And I appreciate you putting so much time and energy into each week.

Oh,

Yeah.

Well,

I love it.

It's valuable to me,

Too,

And it's wonderful to have you here.

Energizing and inspiring.

Shachi.

I know.

You are a beautiful heroine.

That's the truth of who you are.

Ina.

Hey,

Ina.

Good to see you.

Keeping curiosity forward and releasing the unknown.

My goodness.

I've let it go.

Okay.

Let's see here.

Do we have time for another round of tapping?

All right.

Let's do a quickie.

Even though I still have no idea how my whole adventure is going to work out,

I am feeling more inspired,

I'm feeling more excited,

And I'm feeling really curious.

I wonder who that mentor could be.

Okay.

Yeah.

I'm really,

Really curious to see how this is all going to play out.

Okay.

Good.

Let's go to the top of the head.

But,

Yeah,

The doubt and fear will no doubt come along.

Mm-hmm.

Right.

It is perfectly natural for me to be hesitant.

Side of the eye.

Perfectly natural for me to feel scared.

Under the eye.

Perfectly natural for me to question,

Could I really do this?

Okay.

Nice.

Under the nose.

Yeah.

All of that can follow along.

Yep.

Okay.

So,

I can,

Under the mouth,

I can allow all that to surface,

But I don't have to bind myself to it.

Great.

Collarbone.

Instead,

I can raise my gaze to the horizon.

Under the arm.

Trust my intuition.

Top of the head.

Trust that what is in my heart is here for a divine reason.

Good.

Inside the eyebrow.

And from that place of trust,

I can summon the courage to move forward.

Side of the eye.

Inviting my external mentor to appear.

Under the eye.

Inviting that mentor to bring the mirror.

Good.

Under the nose.

Reflecting my wisdom and my confidence.

Excellent.

Under the mouth.

Reflecting the beauty of my intuition.

Collarbone.

Guiding me in taking the next steps forward.

Yay.

Okay.

Here we go.

Under the arm and away we go.

Yeah.

Okay.

Beautiful.

How does it feel now after that round of tapping?

Kelly,

Welcome.

First time tapping.

How was the tapping for you,

Kelly?

Feels amazing.

I love it.

I love it.

Yeah.

It feels amazing to me too.

See,

This is the this is the magic.

I heard someone say one time,

Transformational coaching occurs in the moment when you are in awe,

You the practitioner and the client is in awe.

Any suggestions if I don't feel clear on a specific call to adventure or if it changes all the time?

I don't know if I have time to go through this,

But yes,

There is a practice.

Okay.

So Tanya's question for those of you who might not catch it in the chat is if I don't feel clear on a specific call to adventure,

What do I do?

Or if it changes.

There is a practice that I use in addition to tapping that is foundational in my Women Food and Forgiveness Academy.

And I do this with my one-on-one clients.

I do it in groups like this.

And this is the practice of two-way prayer.

So Tanya,

I don't know if you are a journal person,

If you like to write in a journal.

It's a journaling exercise.

You begin,

Get quiet.

You know,

Tune into what the call to adventure is in the moment.

It could be that your call to adventure is changing or unclear because it's still in process.

It could be that,

You know,

It might need to just shape shift until it lands.

And it can also be that once it lands and you start taking,

You know,

Steps toward it,

That it changes.

So in any case,

So you can just work with like,

What is it today?

What is my call to adventure today?

What is it that I'm feeling?

The deeper wisdom that maybe is,

Feel some hesitation to emerge.

Put pen to paper and write your journal entry as a petition to your higher power,

A petition to your divine mentor,

A petition to the God of your understanding.

Write it out without stopping.

Take a moment,

Read what you've written and then come back.

And now you switch sides and you write as that mentor,

Your higher power,

The universe,

The goddess writing back to you.

And then the next part of it is to read what you've written to somebody you can trust who could hear it and receive it and tell you if it's,

You know,

Does it sound authentic or is there like some ego in there?

It's a remarkable,

Remarkable practice.

So I hope that's helpful.

Okay.

Tanya saying that was very helpful.

Yay.

Thank you,

Marcella and Circle.

Thank you,

Tanya.

Thank you everyone for being here.

What,

What a,

What a pleasure and a privilege.

Lots of love.

Bye for now.