The Power Of Subtle Leadership

The highest type of rulers are those who the people are hardly aware exists.

Next best are those who are loved,

Then those who are feared.

The worst are those who are despised.

If you don't trust the people,

You make them untrustworthy.

The master doesn't talk,

He acts.

He completes his tasks and finishes his affairs.

And then when his work is done,

The people say,

Amazing,

We did it all by ourselves.

The highest type of rulers are those who the people are hardly aware exists.

Next best are those who are loved,

Then those who are feared.

The worst are those who are despised.

If you don't trust the people,

You make them untrustworthy.

The master doesn't talk,

He acts.

He completes his tasks and finishes his affairs.

And then when his work is done,

The people say,

Amazing,

We did it all by ourselves.

So this verse,

Verse 17 of the Dalai Ching,

Offers us a sort of a guide towards life,

Towards leadership,

Towards running a household,

And obviously it feels like it's guided towards a country,

Towards a great leader.

And perhaps that's initially where the origin of this verse sort of originated from,

Or who it was sort of written for,

Or about,

But we can definitely apply some of this wisdom to our own life.

In fact,

This verse triggered a deep level of discussion between me and my seven year old son.

I was reading it to him,

Reading the Dalai Ching to the family.

He's like,

Daddy,

Why would he want his work to not be noticed?

Why would he want the people to say,

We did it all by ourselves?

And my answer was this,

If a leader,

A parent,

A boss,

A friend,

Anyone,

Pushes people down a path and sort of coerces,

Manipulates,

Maybe that's not the right word,

Even doing those words or doing those things in a positive direction,

You know,

Benevolently,

There is a bit of resentment,

A bit of resistance,

A bit of pushback.

But a good leader,

Or rather a great leader,

Inspires people to act towards their ultimate potential,

Towards the greater good,

Towards things beyond themselves.

And they do so in a way that makes it feel like it's coming from internally,

Coming from a place inside themselves.

You know,

I want my son to grow up as happy and healthy and successful as possible.

So I model the behaviours that I wish were modelled to me.

I stretch daily,

I meditate daily,

I exercise,

I eat well.

I expose myself to texts like the Dalai Ching to acquire wisdom.

And I gently encourage him to do so.

I foster his insights and his interests and invite him to join in.

And my hope is that he will eventually just do those things himself and his life will improve.

And it might be that he thinks that it's just what life is.

And when he finds himself exercising and establishing positive routines and sort of,

You know,

Going for knowledge that helps him in his future life and careers and prospects,

He might say,

Wow,

I did this all by myself.

And,

You know,

That would be the greatest form of joy,

Because not only have I helped him to succeed,

But I've also given him the self-efficacy or the belief in himself that he did it by himself.

And thus,

When I'm no longer around,

That impact continues.

And I explained this to my son,

And he's like,

No,

But you're helping me,

You do these things to help me.

And I'm like,

Yes,

Of course.

And,

You know,

When you're reading a book like the Dalai Ching,

You can't take it all word for word.

And it's sort of,

Let's extract the wisdom from it,

Because yes,

I will help you directly.

And you know,

Maybe I'm just not at that highest type of ruler.

Maybe I'm in the loved category with my son,

Because I can't just do my tasks and then let the people,

In this case,

My family say,

Amazing,

We did it all by ourselves.

But it's an aspiration or something to strive towards.

The ultimate goal of a business,

For example,

Is to create the product,

To make a profit,

To do something.

But the people in the business aren't automatons.

You don't put money in and get effort out.

Well,

You do,

But the amount of effort and work and quality and sort of loyalty and a whole bunch of other less tangible things can be produced and acquired and sort of fostered by a leader that leads well.

A good leader trusts their people.

A good leader sets themselves up for success.

A good leader will get their employees working for them based on more than just the promise of money.

That's the base rate expectation.

Yeah,

Of course money is coming,

But what else do we get?

I've worked multiple jobs for money,

But the ones that I stuck around at,

I stayed around because I was making a difference,

Because I had self-efficacy,

Because I enjoyed the process,

Because it was challenging in a good way,

Because I could accomplish something.

And thinking back,

The places where I could accomplish something,

It was facilitated and fostered by good leadership.

I wasn't forced.

I wasn't demanded.

I was just sort of gently guided from the background.

And conversely,

I had leaders who were fearful,

Who I despised.

I still did the work,

But I didn't apply myself as hard.

In fact,

That line there that says,

If you don't trust people,

You make them untrustworthy,

That is a poignant example in my own life,

But anyone who's studied history knows that when a leader doesn't trust the people,

Those people themselves become untrustworthy.

Because it's this self-perpetuating cycle,

They need to take actions to protect themselves against oppression,

Against coercion,

Against manipulation,

Against loss,

So they start doing things to protect themselves.

Those things may be deemed untrustworthy based on the subjective experience of that leader,

Because it's all relative to the society and the time and the place and all of that sort of stuff.

But the point is,

If you trust,

Or if you have a trusting nature,

You tend to inspire trust back.

I've spoken about this elsewhere in this course and in other places,

But the idea of the energy that you put out,

You tend to receive,

And this isn't a woo-woo statement.

This is a sort of a guaranteed.

If you've got a pessimistic,

Negative,

Fearful outlook,

You will be wearing that on your face.

If someone says something ambiguous or neutral,

You might take it as an affront,

As an attack,

As something to worry about.

And that will cause the very thing you fear to arise.

Because if you're projecting anger and fear and worry,

People will start reading that upon you and start to worry about you,

And it sort of bounces back and reverberates.

If you take every neutral action as a thing to worry about or to fear,

Then the majority of your interactions are going to be fearful,

And you are going to become more fearful in turn.

This is sort of the issue with the avoidant versus secure attachments.

Whereas,

If you look at things more positively,

If you believe things will turn out well,

If you have trust and faith in people,

And you take neutral and ambiguity as positive,

Most of your interactions are indeed going to feel positive.

Thus,

You will start to wear that on your body,

On your face,

And people will start to notice it.

Now yes,

The person that doesn't trust will find trustworthy people,

And the person that does trust may be burnt from time to time,

But if you can at all choose,

If you can choose to be more positive versus negative,

Optimistic versus pessimistic,

If you can make that choice,

Your life will improve,

And the people around you will improve,

Because you're going to project to them a thing that allows them to improve in response to you.

Now applying that to a more global perspective,

A leadership perspective within the family,

Within the workplace,

Or indeed within a country,

If you can trust the people around you,

They will offer trust back,

And they will act more trustworthy.

If this seems confusing,

Or abhorrent,

Or wrong to you,

I encourage you to just give it a try,

Just act as if people were more trustworthy,

Act as if you believed anything that was neutral,

Or unsure about,

Or confusing,

Rather than assuming the worst,

Assume the best.

They're not looking at me,

They're not judging me,

They're just doing what they're doing.

In fact,

It's a positive interaction,

Because your life will improve,

And you'll notice that your interactions improve.

The barista that's giving you your coffee that seems a bit frowny,

Smile,

Be polite,

Don't assume it's about you,

Because it probably isn't.

These are the things that I've learnt,

These are all of the things that I sort of shared with my son,

In response to this idea of amazing,

We did it by ourselves.

Now the last part of this process here,

The last part of this verse that I haven't yet addressed is the master doesn't talk,

He acts.

That's something that,

Something we need to really consider in this era of social media.

Should you meditate?

Yes.

Should you post about that meditation session?

Maybe not.

But maybe,

It's a bit confusing,

Right?

Should you exercise?

Yes.

Should you post about it?

Hmm.

This idea of the master doesn't talk,

He acts is sort of getting a bit twisted,

Because a lot of the time it seems like a lot of people are just sharing what they're doing more than actually doing it.

You know,

The sort of person who,

Rather than being there in the moment,

Is taking pictures about the moment to talk about being in the moment later,

Online.

It is better to be there and do and let people talk about you.

The feedback that I get on my work here on Insightama,

The reviews,

The people talking about my books and my poetry and all of these things,

It's better when people talk me up rather than me talking myself up,

You know,

Getting meta here.

It's better for other people to praise you than it is to start braggadociosly talking about yourself and how good you are.

That might get some notoriety,

But in general,

People trust other people's views of a third person.

If someone tells you that this food,

This company,

This person,

This product,

This talk was good,

You're more likely to trust it.

The master doesn't talk,

He acts.

He does,

And just allows things to unfold,

And if we go a bit more mystical,

A bit more to the letter of the Dao Te Ching here,

Talking doesn't impact anything.

We just act,

We just do,

We just accept,

And we move on.

Because the highest type of rulers are those who the people hardly aware exists.

Next best are those who are loved,

Then those who are feared,

The worst are those who are despised.

If you don't trust the people,

You make them untrustworthy.

The master doesn't talk,

He acts,

Completes his tasks and finishes his affairs,

And when he is done,

The people say,

Amazing,

We did it all by ourselves.

The highest type of rulers are those who the people hardly aware exists.

Next best are those who are loved,

Then those who are feared,

The worst are those who are despised.

If you don't trust the people,

You make them untrustworthy.

The master doesn't talk,

He acts,

He completes his tasks and finishes his affairs,

And when he is done,

The people say,

Amazing,

We did it all by ourselves.

So,

Well done.

This brings us to the end of the session.

At the bottom of your screen,

You'll see the option to view the classroom,

Or to ask a question.

Before moving on,

I invite you to take a moment to click through and share your interpretations and inner discoveries of today's verse,

As well as read the answers from other students and hear my replies.

Remember to start your responses with verse 17,

So we all know which one you are referring to.

This is an opportunity for deep learning,

Further introspection and insight,

So please don't miss out.

I look forward to seeing you in the next session.

Thank you.

This track was taken from my course,

Wisdom of the Dao Te Ching.

It's available now on my InsightTimer profile.

Check it out.