Welcome back to the Track 2.
If you haven't listened,
Please go back to the Track 1.
From acute grief to healing grace.
So we end Track 1 with accepting that loss is permanent and everything around us is not.
And when we arrive at that place and also,
In another hand,
Continue to live and accept that change is happening around us,
Grief will move into the sorrow.
And this is what we want to see in a grieving process.
And this is what we want to see in a grieving body.
Transition from grief to sorrow to sadness to grace to that soft power.
And if your biology needs to go through cycles as many times as needed,
Let it happen.
And it will go through the cycles.
And grief is not happening in stages.
That is old school and old belief.
Okay,
I had so many clients who are forcing themselves to go through stages.
Am I in denial?
Am I in barging?
How come I'm in anger when I just moved out of depression?
Does it mean I'll be again in depression?
So,
What's happening with this is they feel as if they are failing in the grieving process.
So,
How is that helping anyone?
How is that helping you?
So,
Now we need to know what works for our nervous system and grieving body.
And grieving is not done in stages.
Feelings are not done in stages,
In some order.
There is no order in grieving body,
In grieving heart,
In grieving soul.
And recovery doesn't mean once you go through stages,
You are done with your grief.
You are over your grief.
We grieve and recover as we expand our inner capacities to be with grief,
To sit with grief,
To sit with loss.
And as you transition from grief to sorrow,
Transition from grief to sorrow,
To sadness,
To soft power,
Grace.
With all feelings you need to feel,
But intensity will be different.
You will always have your grief.
You will always have your grief.
You will always have your grief,
But intensity will be less.
Okay,
So by saying you will always have your grief,
That quality of grief will move you from grief to sorrow,
To sadness,
To grace,
And then over again.
And this is how you will know things are getting better,
By intensity and transitions,
Not by going through certain stages of grief by some order.
And when milestones arise,
Those days,
Those days,
Anniversaries,
Holidays,
The restaurants,
The parks,
Certain days will hit you,
The memories will come.
And yes,
You will go back to breathing,
And the sorrow,
And the sadness.
Intensity will feel less,
And time you're in it will decrease.
Okay,
So again,
Instead of being in a grief state for two months,
Let's say,
Then there is anniversary day,
You know it's coming.
But you might be in grief for five days,
Not for five weeks.
And then next day,
You will be in sorrow.
And let's say sorrow will be two days,
Two days,
And then you will be moving in sadness.
So the time you're in it will decrease,
And intensity will decrease.
So we want to see the movement from the states,
And the time in it.
And you will know when it's coming.
Welcome that.
Don't be afraid of those states.
Be fully in it.
It will not overwhelm you,
Because your biology will transition you into the states.
Don't be afraid of stuckness.
And one thing I would like you to know,
Grief will not kill you.
Grief will not kill you,
Even though it feels like constant fear.
It's a constant fear of,
I'm about to lose my mind.
I'm about to lose my physical health.
I'm about to lose control.
Grief is a constant exhausting overwhelm.
And that is exactly what is normal to feel in grief.
And we need to normalize exactly that place,
Exactly that place.
And we need to give as much support as we can in that place.
Place of constant exhausting overwhelm.
And can we normalize that space?
It's also a space where many of us move into a place of,
I don't want to die,
And I don't want to exist.
Unprocessed and acute grief feels as I don't want to live,
And I don't want to die.
That is a place you're in when we grieve,
And we can be in it for a very long time.
When the body is stuck,
When the heart cannot accept that loss is permanent,
It doesn't want to accept it,
Damn it.
How could accept the loss?
It doesn't want to accept,
And yet everything else is changing.
It's anguish.
It's anguish.
And that's why grief feels so devastating.
And that is okay to feel and to be in that space as long as you need.
So let's normalize those states.
So let's normalize those states of trauma,
Please.
We need to normalize that and provide support and not to be afraid.
Not to be afraid.
Because it feels so isolated if we don't talk about those spaces and those places.
It's so isolated.
It's so lonely.
It's not only we need to accept the loss.
We also need to be in a space of isolation and loneliness because no one is even talking about that space you're in,
In acute grief.
And I recorded two tracks specifically on finding rest and restoring your nervous system in that space of I don't want to live and I don't want to die.
So you can find and listen and have them in your grieving process.
In somatic recovery,
We know the grief sits in the heart space,
Mediastinum,
Pericardium in your lungs.
So you will have some tracks with help around somatic grief recovery and transition from grief.
So save those tracks and you will have your digital medicine bag for your grieving and healing and you will always have access to them.
So you will have one bit of support from me when things feel isolated and lonely and heartbreaking.
But you will not die.
You will not die.
Your heart space will build more capacities to be with grief when acceptance settles in your body.
And you will always have some level of grief,
But intensity will be less.
Intensity will be less.
And that is when with acceptance,
Sorrow shows up.
Grief will transition into sorrow when you give your heart a space to rest.
When you give your heart a space to rest.
So we will pause here.
This is the end of track number two.
In track number three,
We will talk about sorrow and sadness.
Take your time.
Take your time.
And give your heart a space.
To consume content in any capacities,
Micro capacities.
It can.
I know the mind wants to consume as much as content as it can.
But take a moment and pause.
I will meet you in a track three when you are ready.
Much love and care.
