I realized something recently.
I kept hearing the same phrase in my head over and over again.
I kept saying,
I can't believe.
For example,
I would say,
I can't believe the weather is so nice.
Or I can't believe the food was so good.
And one day,
I stopped and asked myself,
Wait,
Can I believe it?
I mean,
I'm the one standing under this blue sky feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin.
I'm the one who tasted that food with my very own taste buds.
So how could I be telling myself that I can't believe it?
I actually can believe it because I'm the one experiencing it.
That's when it hit me.
This tiny,
Casual phrase was actually a form of self-gaslighting.
It was subtle,
Automatic,
And deeply ingrained.
And every time I said,
I can't believe,
I was quietly denying something real that I had just lived.
It didn't make any sense for me to keep doing that.
So I started gently pairing that habit with a new one.
When I caught myself saying,
I can't believe,
I would pause and say,
I actually can believe.
And honestly,
It was one of the harder thought patterns I've had to change,
Because it was everywhere.
It had woven itself into the fabric of how I speak,
How I think,
And how I narrate my daily life.
I know it seems small,
But it's not.
Because when you're constantly telling yourself that your direct experience isn't believable,
That's gaslighting from the inside.
We often talk about gaslighting in relationships,
How it shows up in conversations,
In manipulation,
And in denial of someone's truth.
But do we ever recognize how we're gaslighting ourselves?
That's where the true change happens,
From within.
And when we stop gaslighting ourselves from the inside,
We are going to naturally stop seeing it on the outside.
So that's the insight I wanted to share today.
It might seem simple,
But it's not small.
And it's these little bits of awareness that over time will change your relationship to yourself and end up completely changing your life.
Thanks for listening.
