We all want to know.
We want to know what's going to happen next.
We want to know if we're going to be okay.
We want to know if we're making the right choice.
But what does it mean to know?
How do we go about knowing something?
The word know comes from the root word gneh,
Which meant to be recognized,
Or to be intimately familiar with.
So much of the time,
We crave the knowing without the intimacy,
Without the time it takes to truly perceive and understand something.
We want the knowing to be the thing that soothes our fears,
When really what we need is learning how to be in relationship with the mystery.
I have spent so much of my life wanting to know,
Searching for the knowing,
The evidence in other people,
Places,
Anything outside of me,
And it's something that I see every day in my work,
And if you're listening to this,
Feeling that you might relate.
So,
Take a moment with me in the not knowing,
I'm going to invite you to take a few moments with me to get settled,
Getting comfortable in whatever way makes the most sense for you right now.
The way that I do this tends to differ every time,
But I might start by noticing what the outside of my skin feels like,
Noticing the temperature of the air as it touches my skin.
I might notice the surface I'm sitting or lying on,
Feeling the points of contact,
My feet touching the ground,
The way that the chair holds me up and supports me.
My arms are resting on the sides of the chair,
Fully supported.
Notice what's beneath you,
Feeling it holding you,
Or the parts of you that are in contact with it.
In through the nose,
Whatever pace feels right for you,
Taking any sort of rules,
Or counting,
Or steps about breathing out of your brain for a moment,
And noticing how does my body want to breathe right now,
And just go with that.
When I breathe in through my nose,
I imagine breathing in fresh,
Invigorating,
Grounding air,
And I collect everything in my system from head to toe as I breathe in,
Gathering up any debris around me and in my body,
Imagining perhaps there is a trapdoor under my feet that opens and releases everything I don't need as I exhale.
Some prefer to imagine tree roots growing out from the bottom of their feet,
Perhaps at the hips moving down to the center of the earth,
Whatever way that looks like for you.
So take some breaths,
Breathing into,
And notice what comes up.
And even when I say that,
I imagine that me using the words be okay with not knowing likely brought up some discomfort,
Anger,
Anxiety,
Anxiety,
Confusion,
All of that and more makes a lot of sense because we've been wired to need to know to feel safe.
And it's perfectly okay to have a response of discomfort when I say be okay with not knowing.
And it's also perfectly okay and normal to feel a tremendous amount of relief in dropping your shoulders and just for a moment dropping the question,
What ifs?
What if dropping the what ifs meant that clarity comes so much faster?
What if the more we engage in the what ifs,
The less we know,
The more scattered,
Anxious,
And confused we feel.
But when we drop the blanket in front of us down,
We can see what's been covered.
I want you to imagine a light emanating from ground beneath you,
Starting at your feet.
Maybe it's the color of the sunlight.
Maybe it's a different color.
Whatever color it is,
Know that that's the exact color you need right now.
Trusting that,
Trusting what your brain shows you and let that light,
Mist move up all the way up the front part of your body,
Your legs,
Waist,
Up to your chest and shoulders,
Moving down each arm.
As it moves down each arm,
Moves down each fingertip,
The palms of your hands,
Moving back up to your shoulders and down your back.
Moving down your spine,
Your backside,
Back of the legs,
Back to the neck and moving up to the back of your head,
The top of your head,
The front of your head.
Feeling the light relax your face,
Behind your eyes,
Your jaw.
And letting that light surround you,
Making it as wide or as close to your skin as what feels comfortable.
You could spread it out.
Imagine it taking up the entire room you're in,
The entire place you're in.
Or you might find it more comfortable to draw it in,
Just so the light is right on the edge of your skin.
Trust that whatever way you go makes the most sense.
And I want you to imagine that out in front of you,
At an arm's length,
You've created a bubble.
And this bubble can be clear or whatever size makes sense,
Creating this bubble out in front of you that you can see into.
And I want you to set the intention while looking at the bubble.
Show me what I'm holding on to that I no longer need.
Show me the energy that's keeping me stuck.
Show me the energy that's keeping me in rumination,
Overthinking,
And needing to know.
Let that bubble fill up with whatever your beautiful brain decides.
Often,
I hear and have experienced color,
Debris,
People,
Tapes,
Garbage,
Smoke,
Symbols,
Whatever.
You don't have to know exactly what it is.
You just have to see it enter the bubble out in front of you and let it fill up until you know it's ready and you have let out what's no longer serving you.
And when that bubble feels full and ready,
Know that you have power over it.
And you might imagine throwing it up in the air,
Pushing it away from you,
Watching it up in the sky,
Over your city or town,
Into the next.
And as you watch it moving away,
You might imagine throwing an arrow,
A magical arrow that pops the bubble,
Or maybe it turns into a firework.
Let that bubble fill up.
Noticing how it drops and explodes,
Creating more beauty in the earth,
Wherever it lands,
And dissipating and starting fresh,
Creating a new bubble out in front of you.
And I want you to ask for the energy of how to be in relationship with mystery.
The calm comfort of not knowing,
But trusting it's okay to not know right now.
Trusting that the knowing will come in a way that makes sense.
Let that bubble fill up with whatever your brain decides makes the most sense.
Trust the colors,
The symbols,
The shapes,
Or the feelings that you see,
You can know and trust and feel.
The way of being,
You want to experience an emotion that you want to experience more of,
A reminder.
Let that bubble fill up and shine.
And when you're ready,
Pull that bubble in through your heart or through the top of your head.
Bring that light in,
Letting it shine and re-energize you with the knowing.
It's okay to not know,
And to know is to learn.
To be comfortable with the not knowing,
To learn is to experience,
And to experience is to feel.
Thank you for feeling with me here today.
I appreciate each and every person that comes across this and finds value in it.
I hope that gives you exactly what you need today,
And for the rest of your week.
Namaste.
