Graceful Relationships- Part 1: Introduction

So,

Hello dear people.

Welcome to this unique opportunity we give ourselves to stop the rush,

Hold hands,

And walk the path together.

This time not just as individuals,

But also as a united consciousness,

Striving to be free.

And this session,

Oh sorry,

This workshop,

This series of talks,

Or conversation I should say,

Are dedicated to relationships,

Which you know is the context of our existence in this body.

We are in a relationship all the time,

With life.

And the challenge that we are facing specifically in this series of discussions is how to make this journey of endless relationships graceful.

So,

Here is how it's going to work.

There is no agenda to the meetings.

It's not a lecture,

There are no slides.

The meeting will be led by you.

Your questions,

Your wonders,

Your doubts,

Your struggles,

Your intuition,

Your insights,

Whatever you bring to the table,

This is what will build this workshop.

Of course,

Once you bring something to the table,

You give space for the answer to be spoken.

And in this dance,

We will grow together.

I'm going to say a few words before we start.

We spoke,

Carly and I,

A few days ago about this upcoming workshop and we were discussing what is going to happen here.

And I said something like,

We're just going to say relationship is an illusion.

There are no relationships.

Thank you very much for coming.

Goodbye and good night.

Relationship is an illusion.

And of course,

That is true.

That is the ultimate truth.

But on a personal level,

Relationship is everything.

We feel it,

We experience it,

We struggle with it,

We rejoice with it,

We crave for it,

Or we crave to get out of it.

All the drama is in the context of relationships.

So,

The tension between those two levels is what we are going to bring to the table from the first session onwards.

The personal context is going to be led by you and the universal context is going to be led by a guy called Tilopa.

And I will talk about him later on.

But we will always remember that these two exist and cannot be ignored.

Hopefully,

As we are progressing on the path,

We can bring these together to work harmoniously as a wholeness entity.

Realizing that harmonizing our personal relationship is crucial while remembering the absolute truth,

Which is,

It's an illusion.

There are no two.

Duality doesn't exist.

It's just an illusion.

So,

These two are going to be present since the first minute we speak.

What do you think?

Was it a good idea?

Okay.

So,

What do you want to say about relationships?

What do you want to ask?

What are your struggles?

What are your concerns?

What are your challenges?

What are your difficulties?

Anything you feel that stands between you and freedom within the context of relationship?

Michelle is raising her hand.

Miriam,

I find it very challenging to juggle all of the relationship responsibilities that I have and often feel guilty for not fulfilling.

You might need to repeat the question.

Okay.

So,

For everyone,

I feel the struggle of,

No,

You do it.

Not fulfilling my own expectations of how I should be and what I should be for a relationship.

Okay.

Do you want to repeat?

Okay.

So,

The question is,

The struggle or the statement is the struggle or difficulty in fulfilling all the different obligations in relationship that is felt across different areas of life and different people and feeling guilty,

Not measuring up.

Good.

Good.

So,

First of all,

Inside time,

When people say they can hear well,

We don't need to repeat the questions.

Oh,

Thank you,

Barbara.

Thank you.

It makes it easier.

So,

Responsibilities within the context of relationships.

Let's discuss that.

Okay.

We have so many responsibilities.

And yes,

When we address these callings as responsibilities,

It becomes a burden.

The more we have,

The heavier the weight we need to carry.

No,

We are responsible about this and about that and the children and the husband and the father and the mother and the grandchildren or whatever,

You know,

Responsibility for my employees.

Everything just lays on my back and it feels like overwhelming.

It's too much.

What to do?

My recommendation is,

Remember that relation within relationships,

Don't try to be responsible.

Responsibility is not a goal that you need to increase in your life.

Responsibility reveals itself to be the natural outcome of love.

If you try to be more responsible,

That's definitely going to feel like you're adding more weights on your back.

But that's because you are misrecognizing what responsibility really is.

Don't try to be more responsible,

To do the right thing.

Because you must realize when you do that,

You are led by fear,

By guilt.

And behind that lies the idea that if I'm not behaving according to the expectations of other people,

I will not receive the love that I need.

And without it,

I'm lost.

You see,

This is the ego talking.

The ego lives in that gap between what I have and what I believe I need.

I don't have enough love.

And in order to get that love,

I need to perform according to the expectations of the providers of that love.

And God forbid,

I'm going to fail their expectations,

They stop delivering.

And then what?

I'm lost.

So I'm telling you,

Don't try to be responsible.

What can you do?

Increase the circles of love,

Not the circles of responsibility.

And you'll see,

Responsibility will naturally follow that.

Right?

When you love something,

When you do something out of love,

Out of joy,

Does it feel a burden?

Never,

Right?

You can do something you love,

Whatever it is,

You know,

You're working,

You're working on your motorcycle.

That's your passion,

Okay?

You love maintaining your motorcycle and,

You know,

Brushing it,

Waxing it,

Whatever.

And you can do that for hours,

You forget to eat.

Yes?

Is it a burden?

No.

It's a burden when somebody calls me for dinner and I have to stop doing what I love,

Right?

Are you responsible for your motorcycle?

Did you ever think it's a right thing to do,

To feel responsible about my motorcycle?

Of course not.

I mean,

That's a natural sense that follows your love.

Did you ever ask yourself,

Is it important that you would be responsible for your kids?

I should be responsible for my kids.

It's important.

It's the right thing to do.

Nobody ever asked that question,

Right?

You love your children,

Of course you're responsible.

And responsibilities got nothing to do with guilt.

It's another thing to realize,

To emphasize.

It's not a question of who's responsible,

He's guilty,

Let's punish him.

The whole idea of guilt,

You have to understand,

Is based on the notion that you know what should have happened,

How things should have unfolded.

And because they didn't unfold according to my ideas,

Somebody has to be responsible.

Somebody has to be blamed.

Understand,

Guilt is just an illusion of you believing a false idea about reality.

Why is it false?

Because inevitably,

Your idea argues with reality as it happens,

As it manifested.

Otherwise,

You wouldn't feel guilty.

Do you know what I'm saying?

For example,

Who left the lights on?

Who is the guilty part?

Right?

So that's based on the idea that the lights should have been turned off.

How do I know that?

I have a very strict idea about it.

That's a waste of energy that shouldn't have happened.

But the fact is,

It did happen.

And the idea that you have about it creates a gap between what is and what you believe should have been.

That gap is where guilt is born and raised.

So what to do?

Let go of the idea that you need to be responsible.

That's your responsibility.

See that your connection with the people that you're supposed to be responsible for is structured on the foundation of love.

True,

Unconditional love.

And then you find out that responsibility follows naturally.

It's not a burden anymore.

You won't be torn apart.

Do you see what I'm saying?

And one last thing.

That sense of exhaustion.

I feel I have to juggle all these plates,

You know,

Like those people that,

You know,

They juggle the plates up in the air.

So they're running from one side of the stage to the other.

And if I'm not really careful,

Plates are going to fly all over the place.

Do you know this sensation?

It's all up to me.

It's all because of me.

I'm torn apart between so many responsibilities.

I'm dead tired.

I'm exhausted.

Do you know this feeling?

Remember,

Exhaustion has got nothing to do with the task in front of you.

It doesn't matter how demanding the task is.

Exhaustion is born in the gap between what is and what you believe should have been.

You do one thing,

But your mind is busy doing something else.

Yes,

You wash the dishes,

But your mind believes that somebody else should have washed the dishes.

This is where exhaustion is born.

This is how you burn your energy,

Your prana.

Not because what you do,

But because the argue,

The endless argue within you with what you choose to do.

So when you do something,

A,

Make sure it's a result of your love,

And B,

Make sure you're fully involved,

Engaged,

And your consciousness is not split.

That's how you,

Whatever you choose to do,

Will be harmonious and effortless.

Long answer for a short question.

Yeah,

Now we have to back up.

Yeah.

Because Barbara started us off saying,

Let's start with a definition of grace,

Hence graceful.

Wow,

This is one of those questions that there is no answer to,

No?

Like harmony.

What is harmony?

Impossible to describe,

But when you meet it,

You know what's harmonious and what is not,

Right?

You hear a tone.

How can you describe a harmonious tone?

There's no way to do it.

I mean,

I don't have the capacity.

Not in Hebrew,

Not in English.

It's like trying to describe what a pear tastes like.

A pear.

A pear.

A pear.

A pear.

Pear.

We're not Irish.

But anyways.

Yeah,

I mean,

This is not something that you can describe,

But you definitely know it when it's there,

Right?

You recognize harmony when it's revealed in the present moment.

You recognize grace when it's revealed to you.

I can tell you what it lacks.

Grace lacks fear.

Grace lacks struggle.

Grace is effortless.

It's unconditional.

It's effortless.

It's beautiful and appealing.

When you see something graceful,

You want to come closer to that,

Right?

It's like,

Wow.

So,

And it's also universal.

It's not something that could be interpreted differently.

When something is grateful,

It's graceful.

That's it.

Everybody can recognize that.

So,

Yeah,

This is where we're heading.

Okay,

So Eva has a question.

On the spiritual and personal development path,

We often ask,

Act as a mirror,

And people around us start to take better care of themselves,

Do more inner work,

Etc.

How do you navigate a husband-wife relationship in which one person is evolving on the spiritual path,

Doing a lot of self-inquiry,

And the other is not?

It's a challenge.

Okay,

You've mentioned two things.

I'm going to address both.

A,

A mirror.

Yes.

A relationship,

Any relationship,

Can be used as a mirror.

Through the object of my observation,

I can see myself.

Yes,

I can learn about myself.

How am I addressing that?

How am I reacting to that?

Am I led by fear,

Contracted,

Or am I led by love?

I'm attracted.

Everything you need to know about yourself can be revealed to you through the process of mirroring.

100%.

The only problem is that when you do that with a person,

When you do it with a tree,

Or with a stream,

Or even with your dog,

It's less of a problem.

When you do it with a person,

What you see reflected back to you is a bit obscured,

Because that person projects not just the way you look,

But also his opinions back to you,

His opinions about you.

So that reflection is not pure anymore.

By the way,

That's why what is so crucial to us,

Especially as we begin to grow as mature individuals,

Is what people think about us.

That's a huge thing,

Right?

We are super concerned about what people think about us.

Why?

Because we don't know the answer to the question,

Who am I?

So I'm just asking other people.

Maybe you can tell me.

You know,

That's why their opinion is so important.

Think about it.

As teenagers,

We have no clue who we are.

We're just starting to build a sort of identity.

That issue of what other kids think about me can be a life and death situation.

Teenagers commit suicide because they are outcasts.

It's crucial.

So that mirroring is a way for us to learn about ourselves.

But the problem is,

As I said,

In the context of relationship,

It's obscured.

So what to do?

The purest kind of relationship you can have is with a spiritual teacher.

Because that reflection that you receive from your spiritual teacher is empty of personal opinions.

What you see there is just your own ego,

Your own persona,

Through the eyes of the master.

Or if you can,

Somebody that truly,

Unconditionally loves you,

Which is very real.

That's what you receive from the spiritual teacher.

So I strongly recommend,

Find a spiritual teacher and have a relationship with them.

Personal relations,

Making your best friend.

From my experience,

It's a huge bonus on the path.

And the other part of your question was,

There was the mirroring and how do you gap that,

You know,

Difference between the husband and the wife or whatever?

Yeah,

How do you gap that?

How do you bridge that gap?

It's a challenge.

You know,

As we grow,

We grow through friction.

It's inevitable.

Our journey in life is painful.

That friction is inevitable.

And sometimes the pace that we are growing is faster than the pace of our closest environment.

And that is the cause of friction,

Inevitably.

Well,

When two parts are growing in different pace,

There is a friction.

Don't think that you've invented that friction.

People take it so personally.

It's me and my drama,

My husband,

My wife,

And what they should understand.

No,

It's not personal at all.

It's inevitable.

And yeah,

Sometimes I grow faster,

And sometimes my partner grows faster,

And I'm just lazy,

Lazing around,

Or,

You know,

Just stuck to old habits.

It's okay.

It's all part of the game,

All part of the dance that we are dancing together.

Let go of the idea that it should have been otherwise.

That's my recommendation.

I can't live with you because you are not growing in the same pace that I am growing.

That's a false idea that you just convince yourself,

And it becomes a barrier that you are,

You cannot see how you are able to cross.

Just let go of the idea.

You should grow at the same pace as I should.

Says who?

Why are you stuck to that position?

The reality is proving you differently.

So now you prefer your ideas about your partner over your unconditional love to him.

Drop it.

That's my recommendation.

Drop that idea.

Embrace the fact that you are growing faster.

That's how you know that you grow.

Right?

How do you know that you progress?

Because the scenery is changing,

No?

The angle in which you look at something is changing.

I remember,

You know,

When I was a kid,

We were driving to my grandparents,

And they lived in the north of Israel,

And on the road that takes us there,

There was a tree,

One specific tree,

That I recall vividly,

Because it looked like a hedgehog,

You know,

Because of the wind coming from the sea,

The whole tree was bent,

And when you look at it from a distance,

It looks like a hedgehog,

You know,

From Sesame Street.

So I remember waiting to see that tree on the horizon,

But then the car continues,

And you know,

And you change the angle,

And you see the tree from a different angle,

It looks like a regular tree.

You don't see the fact it's bent.

What I'm saying is,

That's the way you know the car is moving.

Your angle of perspective is changing.

So don't be too hung up on conditions about what should happen or should not happen,

And the pace that they should change.

What else?

AJ asked,

Aren't all relationships,

In fact,

Relationships with ourselves,

Within the truth of oneness?

Yes.

The essence of compassion?

We discussed that.

You probably missed it.

The very first sentence I said is definitely yes.

Everything we say about relationship is just preparing us to realize that there is no relationship.

It's a hoax that generates drama that we are all addicted to.

But eventually,

We are going to outgrow that illusion.

100% guaranteed.

Next.

Kiara is asking,

How do you overcome chronic depression?

That seems to be getting worse between being stuck in this for the past seven years.

First of all,

Don't label it as chronic.

I'm sure in the past seven years,

You were happy as well,

Or whatever the person we are referring to.

You know,

Yes,

There is the tendency to go low and stay low.

But even the most depressed person finds joy from time to time.

So don't label it as something that is stagnant and unchanging.

That's never the case.

Everything changes.

But you know what makes something chronic?

What makes something stick and refuses to change and grow?

What you resist,

Persists.

What you don't resist,

Changes.

Why?

Because that's the nature of reality.

Things change.

The realm of phenomena is defined as change.

How do we know what is a phenomena?

It has a beginning and it has an end and it's changing all the time.

That's a phenomena,

Right?

When you refuse to acknowledge that,

When you resist it,

When you reject,

Then you stop it.

The change is held and it's stuck.

Now it's stuck.

Pain becomes chronic when you resist the pain.

Sadness becomes chronic and now it's depression.

What else?

Everything that you resist,

Persists.

So what to do?

Surrender.

Yes,

Sometimes reality is unpleasant.

Guaranteed.

The recommendation is love that when it's unpleasant,

Just as much as you love it when it is pleasant.

Love it when it's painful,

Just as much as you love it when it's pleasurable.

Pleasure and pain are one and the same.

What about the physical realm?

Any questions?

How do you ask your ego to not take things so personally?

How do you convince your ego not to be so sensitive?

Beautiful question.

How do you persuade your ego not to take things so personally?

That's the whole essence of the spiritual path,

You know.

What we do on the spiritual path,

We zoom out from a very contracted,

Self-centered point of view to the universal.

We see the bigger context,

The greater,

The greatest context of our existence in this life.

Which is not personal at all.

So,

Welcome to the spiritual path.

That's what we do.

And we do that from any angle possible.

Keeping reminding ourselves again and again and again and again what is most important to us.

And yes,

In the beginning it might feel like I'm trying to persuade my ego to let go.

It might feel a bit artificial or mechanical or,

You know,

Fake.

Fake it until you make it.

But I can guarantee,

As you stay on the path,

As you keep committed to the path,

You come to the point where it's not just an idea that you try to convince yourself in.

But it manifests as a direct experience.

It's like waking up from a dream and you think about,

Oh yeah,

It was just a dream.

Everything that happened so far,

It was just a dream.

It's not real.

You cannot go back and dream the dream again.

Once you woke up,

That's it,

Right?

The dream loses its grit.

Oh my god,

It was a terrible dream.

But now you realize it can't really hurt you.

It's a fake.

So once you wake up to that realization,

Oh,

This is just a fake.

It's not real.

There's no turning back.

So yeah,

We come to that stage where we retrain ourselves,

This time in a way that is pro-life instead of against life,

Until the point where training is not necessary.

It reveals to be our nature.

Okay,

But yes,

Definitely very relevant.

That's what we do here.

What else?

Deb is asking,

How do we heal from childhood trauma?

Wow.

There's some loaded questions here.

Yeah,

Look,

Childhood trauma.

If you're interested about trauma,

There's a whole course you can find on Insight Timer on my page that you can listen to and you can dive deep into the knowledge of that.

But in a nutshell,

I would say be proud of that.

Don't carry past events as a cost,

A burden,

Holding the belief that you are now a victim of circumstances,

Past circumstances,

And you're a broken tool.

You're not broken more than any other person on the planet.

We received this body so it can experience life fully.

And sometimes that experience is painful,

For sure,

100%.

If you think it could be otherwise,

I'm sorry to be the one that bears the sad news.

It cannot be otherwise.

It's painful sometimes.

Sometimes it feels like it's unbearable,

But it's never unbearable.

It's never too much.

So if you experienced extreme experiences in the past,

I'm saying carry them proudly.

Don't be ashamed and don't surrender to the idea that it was a terrible mistake and it shouldn't have happened.

It's a sign that you lived in a body and you are here to allow life to touch you,

Whether it's pleasurable or painful.

In a nutshell,

Be proud of who you are.

And see the magnificence of the opportunity you receive every moment to experience life.

Don't get stuck on past events and create an identity around that.

That's who I am.

I am that person that those things happened to them 50 years ago.

That identity is just a shield.

Drop the shield.

Allow life to touch you.

It's not much more time left.

Allow life to touch you now,

In the present moment.

Are you here?

Are you now?

Available?

That's your only concern.

And that's what you keep reminding yourself again and again and again.

Am I here?

Am I now?

Available?

With a whole heart and a willing soul?

Or am I shielding myself,

Protecting myself against life?

Are we ready for Tilopa?

Yes?

Okay,

So we,

As I promised,

We gave some energy and time for this.

Now we are going to refer to that.

We are going to follow the teachings of a very unique individual that lived about 850 years ago.

And what he was experiencing was a graceful unification,

Which he called Maha Mudra.

What is Maha Mudra?

Maha is big and Mudra is position.

So the greatest position,

The most graceful position possible.

So this person was called Tilopa.

And after having that experience,

Direct experience,

He was trying to express what he was seeing,

What he was experiencing,

With little success.

He traveled the north of India,

Where he was born,

Looking for a disciple that would be ready to receive that knowledge.

But he couldn't find anyone who was attentive enough,

Mature enough to receive that knowledge.

So he grew old,

He basically gave up on the idea that this can be expressed to someone.

Until he actually did find a disciple called Niropa.

And the conversation between Niropa and Tilopa is what we are going to follow in the next 10 meetings.

It's probably one of the most beautiful songs ever written.

And we're going to read the first chapter today.

So Carly is going to post it on the text box.

Can you do it?

Yeah.

And we're going to allow ourselves to be led by the beautiful words he uses.

And I encourage you not just to be caught by the words,

Though they are important,

But also try to feel the energy they carry.

This journey is mostly energetic.

It's not for the intellect to understand.

It's for the heart to open.

So don't be too bothered about the meaning or the hidden meaning.

You can go.

Did you post it?

Not?

No,

Just the title.

Ah,

So post it.

Chapter one.

The ultimate experience.

Houston,

We have a problem.

Should I do it?

I think it's too many words for the text box,

So you can cut it into small pieces.

It's going to take me some time.

You want to just read it?

Yeah,

That might work better.

So you can listen to it as a lullaby.

I'll figure out a way to put it in there.

I can type pretty fast.

So in his song of Mahamudra,

Tilopa says,

Mahamudra is beyond all words and symbols,

But for you,

Naropa,

Earnest and loyal,

Must this be said.

The void needs no reliance.

Mahamudra rests on naught.

Without making an effort,

But remaining loose and natural,

One can break the yoke,

Thus gaining liberation.

So back to the first sentence.

Mahamudra is beyond all words and symbols.

And?

But for you,

Naropa,

Earnest and loyal,

Must this be said.

Okay.

So you see,

We are embarking on an impossible journey.

And Tilopa is clearly saying,

That from the first sentence,

What I'm experiencing is beyond all words and symbols.

I can't minimize it to a concept that you can digest.

I cannot put it into a word that would fully express and explain what I'm experiencing.

That's why it's not an article,

It's a song.

Because you know,

A song touches you deeper than intellect.

Right?

An article is a collection of ideas and concepts.

It's food for intellect.

But what I'm experiencing is beyond ideas,

Intellectual ideas.

So I'm going to sing it to you.

Instead of trying to explain or describe,

I'm going to sing it to you.

And hopefully that can meet you on a deeper level than just the intellect.

But for you,

Naropa,

Earnest and loyal,

This must be said.

Although this journey is impossible,

And there is no way I can succeed,

Your longing is unresistable and cannot be ignored.

I have to do it.

This must be said.

So beautiful.

What are we learning here?

Knowledge is revealed through the conversation between the disciple and his master.

But it's not generated because the master is full.

He was waiting all his life to meet the right individual that has that longing burning enough.

So that can be said.

Do you see?

It's not an agenda led by the master,

But by the disciple and his longing and his loyalty.

Loyalty to the path.

Loyalty to the relationship with his master.

This must be said.

So what is to be said What's the second sentence?

You need your glasses.

Oh no,

I can't read.

It's there?

Mahamudra is beyond words and symbols,

But for you,

Naropa,

Earnest and loyal,

Must this be said.

The void needs no reliance.

So the void is the first thing that he is relating to.

Mahamudra is not a thing.

It's not something that you can say,

Ah,

Okay,

This is it.

It's not an object.

It's not an experience.

It's an expression of nothingness,

Emptiness.

The space in which everything materializes,

But the space itself is void.

Do you see that?

And it needs no reliance.

It exists.

It doesn't need your approval.

It doesn't need your belief.

It doesn't need anything.

No reliance whatsoever.

Whether you recognize it or typically not,

It doesn't matter.

It's there.

Mahamudra rests in not.

It's not a thing because a thing is always the opposite of that thing.

Right?

Because if you relate to something,

You will always find it's opposite.

Mahamudra is not stillness because there will be turbulence on the other side.

Mahamudra is not,

I don't know,

What else can you imagine?

A white light because on the other side will be darkness.

Any idea,

Any concept,

Any projection,

Any way you try to describe or explain it,

There will always be the opposite of it.

So Mahamudra rests in the not,

Not in the realm of phenomena,

Something that is finite and can be described.

It cannot be described.

It rests in the not.

Without making an effort,

But remaining loose and natural.

This is important.

We are trained to believe that achievement is a result of our efforts.

Right?

We put our energy,

We put our intention,

We put our work,

Our sweat and blood,

And at the end of the process,

There is a reward.

We achieved our goals or whatever.

Tilopa is saying,

No,

There's nothing you can do about that.

It's not a matter of effort.

Actually,

The more effort you put,

The further away you go.

Effortless is the nature of the sincere seeker.

The more you try,

The further you go.

The more strained you are,

The further you go.

Effortless.

Remaining loose and natural.

It's another important thing.

Mahamudra is not some foreign,

Remote state of being that we need to adopt.

That only,

You know,

Very special people up on the hill somewhere gain that,

You know,

Perspective and the rest of us are just down there in the valley envying.

That's not the case at all.

Mahamudra is your natural state of being.

Enlightenment is the most natural state of being.

You don't become special.

You become very normal.

The most normal version of yourself,

Most natural,

Is when Mahamudra prevails.

So if you are effortless,

Loose,

Effortless,

Natural,

Then the yoke can be broken.

And he's using the word yoke.

Of course,

In Sanskrit,

It would be a different word.

But in English,

What is yoke?

You know,

The very thin crust?

How do you say?

Very thin membrane.

Thank you,

Barbara.

Barbara always comes through.

Barbara is amazing.

Very,

Very thin membrane,

You know,

That just a tiny prick is enough.

Effortless.

It's barely there.

You can break that.

How much effort does it take?

Just,

It's like a soap bubble exploding.

That's it.

Break the yoke.

Realize consciousness as the nature of your being.

And everything else is just an illusion.

What separates between you and oneness is just a thin layer of yoke,

Of thin layer of artificial membrane.

We have this idea that it's such a long process,

Impossible,

You know.

It would take me years,

Decades,

Lifetimes.

But Tilopa says,

No,

It's as close as as thin as a yoke.

Just one poof away and that's it.

Effortless.

And the illusion of separateness dissolves.

That's it.

What happens when the illusion of separateness dissolves?

Think about it.

What happens to your self-identity when the illusion of separateness dissolves?

What happens to the wave when it numbers the ocean?

Barbara's also asking,

Could it also be the yoke as in the definition of what a crosspiece that you put over the oxen when they're pulling the cart?

A strap.

Maybe.

But this is how I understand it.

A very,

Very thin membrane that separates the white from the yellow,

No?

Unseen,

Barely seen,

Almost doesn't exist.

But maybe you're at break the yoke.

Anyways,

You can explain it to yourself any way that works for you.

The yoke that you're talking about in English is spelled differently.

Oh,

Really?

Yeah.

So this changes everything.

Okay,

Forget everything I said.

How do you spell yoke?

That type of yoke is W-O-L-K.

I mean,

Y-O-L-K.

I'm very tired.

How do you spell it?

Y-O-L-K instead of Y-O-K-E.

Yoke.

The Y-O-K-E in this is the harness.

Okay.

So let's see if he meant the harness.

I mean,

Again,

This is a translation to English of what was originally written in Sanskrit.

So we never know exactly what he meant,

But break the yoke.

Okay.

So,

Yeah,

That can also work.

You know,

You've been struggling to pull along the weight of your life.

That's the burden of your life.

The burden of your life.

Yeah.

And suddenly you're free of that,

You know.

Yeah.

But again,

The freedom that we are talking about on the spiritual path is not a freedom from the realm of doing.

Freedom is not vacation.

Okay.

It's not doing whatever I want,

Whenever I want,

To whomever I want,

Then I will be free.

No.

I don't think anything there,

Out there,

In your life,

In your circumstances,

In your relationship should change in order for you to be free.

That's not the freedom we are talking about.

That's why I prefer egg yolk.

I think that was beautiful.

Let's assume he mentioned egg yolk.

The freedom that we're talking about has got nothing to do with the realm of doing.

It's got everything to do with the realm of being.

You are free.

You realize yourself to be free.

And then you translate that to your doing,

To your relationships,

To your decision making.

But you are free.

That's where we're heading.

Yes?

Michelle says the wagon that the oxen is connected to carries all the struggles and stories.

So you free yourself from.

.

.

Struggles and stories.

Yeah.

Jiggle it.

Yeah.

Did we address both aspects of liberation in relationships tonight?

I think we had a good start.

Yeah.