The Equal Weight Of Thoughts: From Grip To Spacious Freedom

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,

There is a field.

I'll meet you there,

Rumi.

Welcome my sweet friend.

Find a posture or position that feels supported.

That could be seated,

That could be lying down,

Whatever you feel gravitated toward.

As you settle in,

Let the ground or furniture hold you,

Kind of like the ocean holds every single wave with zero effort.

Gently inhale in through your nose and exhale out through your mouth.

Take another long inhale in through your nose.

Now just a little bit slower,

A little bit gentler.

Inhale softly through the nose,

Filling from the stomach to the ribs to the chest and then exhale through the mouth a gentle sigh,

Feeling your shoulders just melt down.

When you're ready,

And not a moment before,

Let your beautiful eyelids flutter closed or soften your gaze toward whatever's in front of you.

We're going to keep breathing like this,

Inhaling in through the nose gently and exhaling through the mouth.

We're going to keep it so easy,

So unforced.

Now we're going to bring attention to the points of contact between your body and the surface you're on.

If at any point in this meditation you don't have access to a body part,

Pretend you have it or imagine a beautiful substitute,

Whatever makes your heart sing.

Now bring your awareness to your sit bones,

Your back,

Your heels,

The weight of your head.

Imagine gravity as this friendly hand smoothing the wrinkles from your day.

Breathe in through your nose,

Breathe out through the mouth and on each exhale let something go that you no longer need to hold,

A microtension in the jaw,

A crease between the brows,

The shoulders just dropping away from your ears.

Scan gently from crown to toes,

Your forehead,

Feel it broad and cool.

Your eyes,

Feel them soft in their sockets.

Your tongue,

Feel it ungluing from the roof of the mouth.

Your throat,

It's wide,

It's easy.

Your heart,

Floating in warm water.

Your stomach,

Like a calm smooth lake,

Unhurried.

Your hips,

Heavy,

Grown,

Your legs long,

Anchored,

And your feet wide,

Toes soft.

If thoughts begin to wander already,

Perfect.

This practice is all about thoughts.

Let them wander like birds across the sky that doesn't need to chase them.

Today we explore a simple liberating truth,

A thought is not reality.

Thoughts are visitors,

The sky is you.

We'll hold two thoughts at once,

A thought that means everything to you,

Charged,

Sticky,

Important,

And a thought that means nothing to you,

Neutral,

Light,

Zero emotional gravity.

And you and I will meet them both in the same open field.

First,

Let's invite in the everything thought.

Let it be the one you keep looping.

This is a worry,

An obsession,

A hope,

A story.

This is the thought that feels like it defines the weather of your entire day lately.

Don't analyze,

Just let the most insistent thought step forward.

See if you can name it in a single sentence.

Now give it a shape.

Maybe it appears as a red glowing ember,

Or a heavy stone,

A storm cloud.

Allow your imagination to choose whatever comes to you first.

Hold this everything thought gently in your left hand,

Palms facing up if that's comfortable.

If your hands are resting or imaginary,

That's fine.

The placement can just be in your mind's eye.

Notice the weight,

The temperature,

The texture.

Does this everything thought buzz or sit still?

Does it tug your chest or settle in the pit of your stomach?

Breathe in through the nose,

Breathe out through the mouth.

Whatever it's doing is okay.

You're just noticing.

You're the sky,

And the sky has room.

Now we invite in a nothing thought.

This is something so neutral it barely registers.

If you need ideas,

Choose one of these.

There's a beige sticky note on a desk.

A spoon rests on a table.

The word and exists in this sentence.

A pebble sits on a path.

Pick a thought that feels truly bland,

Unpolarized.

And if it feels difficult to find a thought like that,

Notice that.

Once you've got the thought,

Give it a shape too.

Perhaps a small cotton ball,

Or soap bubble,

A paper clip,

Or a tiny feather.

Place this nothing thought in your right hand,

In reality or imagination.

Notice lightness,

Airiness,

Near absence.

Maybe your right palm feels almost empty.

That's allowed.

Breathe in through your nose.

Sigh it out through your mouth.

Now with both hands open,

Or in your mind's open space,

Behold the two thoughts together.

Left,

Everything.

Let your awareness widen like a fisheye lens until both fit easily in view.

Feel the space around them.

An untroubled sky that holds both storm and blue.

Now play a little.

Imagine placing each thought on a small cloud.

Let the clouds float at the same height.

Watch them drift side by side across a wide horizon.

Or thread each one onto a string and tie them to your wrists like balloons.

One heavy feeling,

One light.

Notice that your wrists remain your own.

The strings are yours to hold or release.

Let's invite both thoughts to participate in three simple actions.

Move slowly with your breath.

First,

We'll silently lift the left hand thought,

Then the right hand thought.

With your left hand,

Inhale gently and say,

This is my everything thought.

And then silently to yourself,

Name it.

Exhaling gently.

Then we'll lift your right hand thought and say silently to yourself,

This is my nothing thought.

Inhale on this lift.

And then as you name it silently,

Exhale gently.

Feel the act of naming.

How language places both on the same shelf of awareness.

Like books with different covers in the same library.

Now in your imagination,

Or with a small physical gesture,

Swap them.

Place the everything thought in your right hand and the nothing thought in your left.

Breathe in gently and exhale gently.

What changes?

Breathe in through your nose.

Now set both thoughts down in front of you.

Two objects on the floor of your awareness.

Equal distance.

Equal invitation.

Neither is inside your body.

They're just there.

Observe.

What sensations do you feel in the body when neither thought is held?

What do you feel in your chest?

What do you feel in your gut?

What do you feel in your brow?

Notice the difference between having a thought and holding a thought.

Now notice this.

In the present moment,

Both are the same thing.

One carries a story you've rehearsed.

The other carries none.

But in the field of now,

Right here,

Between you and I,

Both are made of the same fabric.

Hear me my sweet friend.

A thought does not equal reality.

It's a map,

Not territory.

It's a cloud,

Not the sky.

It's a ripple upon a vast and peaceful lake.

You are the sky.

You are the lake.

Take a deep breath in through your nose.

And sigh it out gently through your mouth.

Let's play a bit at the edges of truth.

On your in-breath,

Silently repeat,

Everything matters.

Feel how attention,

Care,

And intention can infuse each moment with meaning.

How watering a plant,

Meeting a gaze,

Sending a text,

Taking a breath,

Can feel sacred.

On your out-breath,

Silently repeat,

Nothing matters.

Feel the merciful looseness of that.

How the cosmos will keep spinning.

How the ocean doesn't mind which wave you are.

How release returns you to peace.

Inhale,

Everything matters.

Exhale.

Let these truths sit side by side,

Like two friends who don't need to agree to love one another.

You can move with exquisite care and laugh at the cosmic joke.

You can set a clear intention and let the outcome float away.

You can be holy in your devotion and holy in your neutrality.

There is no contradiction in the heart of the sky.

Notice how much gentler life feels when the grip loosens.

Control was never the point.

Presence is.

Even if free will exists,

You cannot always choose how much will you have at any moment.

And that's okay.

Grace arrives in waves.

You ride the ones that come.

Your job,

Your only job.

Breathe in through your nose.

Breathe out through your mouth.

Now we'll rest in silence for one full minute.

No need to do anything.

If thoughts come in,

Let them.

If they go,

Let them.

Keep the breath soft.

Nose in,

Mouth out.

And rest in the field where everything and nothing are welcome.

Gently return to the two thoughts still set down before you.

If you like,

Place the nothing thought in a clear bubble and let it drift up,

Up.

Until it pops into spaciousness.

Smile at its simplicity.

Place the everything thought in a gentle bowl of warm light.

See it soften,

Edges rounding,

Heat cooling.

If it wants to become smaller,

Let it.

If it wants to become transparent,

Let it.

If it wants to stay the same,

Let it.

You are the bowl and you are the light.

Remember,

You can pick up a thought for a purpose and set it down when the purpose is complete.

You are empowered to relate to your thoughts.

To witness your thoughts.

And to not need to become them.

Breathe in through your nose.

And sigh it out through your mouth.

Begin to sense the room again.

Sounds,

Temperature,

The play of light through your closed eyes.

Gently wiggle your fingers and your toes.

If it feels good,

Stretch your arms overhead like you've just woken from the best nap.

Let a tiny smile appear,

Evidence that levity is always near.

Before you flutter your eyelids open,

Rest in one last awareness.

When you care deeply,

Everything matters.

And your care is beautiful.

When you rest completely,

Nothing matters.

And your peace is beautiful.

You are allowed to carry both like balanced bowls.

Alternating between which one serves the moment and letting the other rest.

Take three finishing breaths,

Steady and sweet.

Inhale through the nose.

And exhale through the mouth.

Inhale through the nose.

And exhale through the mouth.

Inhale through the nose.

And exhale through the mouth.

Ready?

Gently flutter your eyelids open.

Notice any shift.

Lighter.

Wider.

Softer.

The sky hasn't moved.

And yet,

Everything has space.

Now if you wish,

Place a hand on your heart and whisper.

I am the sky.

Thoughts are passing weather.

I choose presence.

Carry this field with you,

My sweet friend.

When the thoughts that feel like everything return,

Greet them kindly.

And set them down when you need.

When the thoughts that feel like nothing arrive,

Let them remind you of the cosmic giggle.

And how reality really is spacious enough to hold it all.

You are free.

You've always been free.

And in this freedom,

Paradox is not a problem.

It's a miracle.

Everything matters.

Nothing matters.

And you are loved.