What Are Some Things You Do In Order To Numb Yourself?

Hi everyone,

I hope that you're doing amazing wherever you are in the world.

My name is Boomshakha and I welcome you to my channel.

As always I'm so grateful that you're listening,

Subscribing and commenting.

I really appreciate the support.

And in this one I wanted to speak to you about numbing yourself.

I recently shared a post on the Boomshakha's Free INFJ Community on Facebook.

And I asked how do you numb yourself?

What kind of technique do you use to numb yourself when big emotions start popping up,

Big intense emotions start popping up in your body,

In your mind,

In your psyche.

A lot of times what happens with us in general is unless you're used to it,

Unless you have a strategy to deal with such big intense emotions,

Most of us what we do is we start using techniques to numb ourselves.

So there's many different techniques obviously to numb ourselves.

There's many hundreds of thousands of things people do in order to not let themselves feel these big emotions that are coming up.

And sometimes it doesn't even have to be a very big emotion,

It just has to be something that we're just not comfortable feeling.

For example if you feel anger sometimes,

If you're not used to feeling anger or if you're told over and over again by parents or caregivers that feeling angry is a bad thing,

We won't allow ourselves to feel angry.

We'll sit there and as soon as it comes up we start to run away from it.

We try to pretend like it doesn't exist.

We try to walk away from it in so many different ways.

And I also shared on that post that one of the main ways that I numb myself and I know I'm doing it in the moment in time and that's one of the reasons I wanted to bring this up is because you can actually catch yourself doing it which is the whole point.

Because it's actually a mechanism that if you can become aware of it you can actually stop it in the middle of it.

You don't have to actually go through with the whole numbing,

The whole thing of it.

You can actually be like alright I noticed that I'm numbing myself and I'm going to stop it.

I'm going to stop it right now.

And so as I said for me my main technique has been obviously reading manga and eating chips.

But a lot of times I'll do these two things as a fun thing.

I'll do it because I have finished all my work and I'm relaxing and I'm taking some time off and I want to read my manga because it's something fun for me to do and I want to eat some chips because they're delicious.

The point is I'm doing those things normally as well but when I'm doing it to numb myself I notice that I'm doing them in a completely different fashion.

So when I'm normally doing it I'm actually enjoying the manga,

I'm paying attention to what's going on,

I'm reading it and I'm laughing at it and it's just a fun activity for me.

Same thing with chips,

If I'm eating it I actually taste the chips that I'm eating,

I actually enjoy it,

I savor it,

It's fun for me.

I'm having a blast.

But when I'm doing it to numb myself I notice that I don't taste the chips.

I'm putting them into my mouth very rapidly,

Very quickly as you can imagine but I don't taste a single bite of the chips.

I have no idea.

Is it flavorful,

Is it not,

Is it spicy,

Is it not spicy?

And if you've watched my channel you know one of my favorite chips in the world,

The favorite chips in the world is Miss Vicky's jalapeno chips.

I think they're a Canadian brand,

They are a Canadian brand but I think they're not really available anywhere else.

And I think they might be available in the US as well but that's it really.

And so I notice that when I'm eating,

And I love them,

They're my favorite so I eat them all the time.

That's the one thing that I eat which is really bad and it's like junk food,

It's the only junk food I have in my whole diet.

Everything else is pretty healthy.

But I eat these chips when I'm eating them with a sense of numbing myself I notice that I am eating them without realizing what they taste like.

And they're usually very spicy and delicious and flavorful and when I'm numbing myself I don't taste anything.

It tastes like chalk,

It tastes like sand,

It tastes like nothing,

Right?

The same thing with the mangas.

I'll be reading them,

When I'm having fun with it I'm reading them and I'm enjoying the story and I'm going through it and it's actually,

I'm getting deep into the story and I'm feeling the emotions,

I'm sad with the heroine or happy with the hero,

Whatever it might be,

Whatever's happening I'm actually feeling the emotions.

But when I'm numbing myself I don't feel anything.

I'm just reading it as if I'm an automaton,

I'm a robot.

I can't empathize with the hero or the heroine or anyone in the novel or in the manga.

I just pretend,

It's as if I'm just like,

I'm going through the motion of scrolling through the manga and looking at the pictures but not really inculcating it,

Not really feeling it,

Not really reading it deeply.

And you've probably noticed this for yourself as well when you are in numbing mode,

You'll notice that nothing tastes good or nothing feels good.

It's actually,

Numbing,

That's why it's called numbing,

It's because everything becomes black and white.

Like there's no shades of grey anymore.

It's like,

Not even black and white I would say,

It's just all grey I would say.

Not even shades of grey but just all grey.

There's no feeling anymore,

There's no taste,

There's no sensation,

It's just one level of mundanity.

It's very boring and blah and blah,

There's nothing,

No ups and downs anymore.

It feels like you're just in this black hole of nothingness.

And that's one of the reasons I wanted to do this video is because I wanted you to realize that there are differences and nuances that you can notice,

That you can discern if you start paying attention to it.

And if you can actually become aware of it while you're in the mode of numbing yourself,

You can really stop yourself in that moment.

So for me,

When I'm going into this numbing mode and I'm doing it,

I'll usually now,

Before I used to do it for days on end without realizing I'm numbing myself because I'm trying not to feel an emotion,

But now maybe I'll do it for 10-15 minutes and then I'll realize,

Yeah,

Right,

I'm numbing myself.

I'm doing this not because it's fun,

But I don't want to think about that particular thing that I'm avoiding or I don't want to feel that particular emotion that I'm avoiding or whatever it might be and I stop myself.

And I'm able to stop myself again because I'm aware that I'm numbing myself because of all of this that I've spoken about.

Now you might be using different techniques.

You might be using food as well,

But maybe carbs or sugar or dessert or cakes.

Ice cream is a big one,

Obviously.

It's very good.

It's sugary.

You don't actually taste it,

But it makes you feel full and it makes you feel like you're distracting yourself.

Reading erotic novels is another one.

A lot of people I know do that in order to get over emotions.

Watching a lot of TV is a big one.

Watching movies,

Watching TV,

Watching TV shows,

Netflix,

Binging is another one,

Of course.

And so there's many different techniques.

Chopping obviously is a big one.

Working,

Overworking.

I know I used to do that a lot before.

Sometimes I still do.

And so there's many different techniques that you can use in order to numb yourself and it is your responsibility to be like,

All right,

Okay,

Notice yourself in that moment in time and you are numbing yourself,

Whatever technique you might use.

First of all,

Figure out what those techniques are.

And then in that moment when you are,

Try as much as possible to become conscious,

To become aware and to stop yourself and to be like,

All right,

What am I trying to numb myself from?

What am I trying to run away from?

What am I trying to avoid in this moment in time?

Not necessarily saying that you need to go deep within it or really go back to the emotion and feel it,

Especially if you're uncomfortable with it,

But maybe journal about it.

Maybe go for a walk instead.

Maybe go do a little bit of yoga practice instead.

Maybe go take a shower or a hot bath instead.

Maybe go talk to a friend instead.

Maybe go play with your dog or your children instead.

Maybe go spend some time,

Some snuggly time with your spouse or partner instead.

So obviously there's positive ways of dealing with emotions and negative ways of dealing with it and you are all aware of it,

I'm sure.

But I really wanted to share this particular thing about numbing because I noticed that a lot of us are not used to feeling emotions and that's quite all right.

Of course,

We're not taught as children.

No one teaches us.

No one comes up to us and says,

Okay,

So what emotion you're feeling right now is anger.

Feel how it is in your body.

Feel it in your chest.

Feel it in your body.

Feel it in your head.

No one actually comes to us and says these things.

Mostly what people say is stop feeling angry.

Stop being a bad girl or stop being a bad boy,

You know,

Things like that.

We're told that emotions are bad.

Don't feel emotions.

Avoid emotions.

From the time we're children,

No one teaches us how to feel them properly in our body.

And so it's okay.

It's just the thing that you have to learn on your own,

But it takes time.

So at first it's okay for you to maybe avoid them a little bit,

But don't numb yourself.

Do something else instead.

Do a positive thing in order to deal with emotion,

Like moving your body.

Moving your body actually helps you deal with emotion as well because emotions are in our bodies.

The more we move it,

The more we move our physiology,

The more it moves our psychology.

It's very related to each other.

Also,

I would say that instead of thinking about the fact that you don't want to feel the emotion,

Don't say those words to yourself.

Just be with the emotion without saying that you're trying to avoid it particularly.

I'm not saying go deep into it,

But just sit with it and try to figure out what is it exactly that I'm trying to avoid.

And I find that a lot of times,

You know,

If I just sit down and think,

Ah,

What am I trying to avoid?

I realized that it's actually not as big as I imagined it was.

For some reason,

I made a huge deal out of it in my head,

But when I actually sit down and think about it,

It's actually something very small.

And so usually,

As I said,

I do a lot of journaling to deal with emotions and that helps me a lot.

Maybe it'll help you,

Maybe not.

But as soon as I write it down,

It's so much smaller than I actually thought it was.

In my head,

It seemed like this huge deal that would completely break me apart.

And then I write it down and it's something very small that I can deal with very easily.

And so that's the whole point of not numbing yourself.

Because what happens when we numb ourselves is that emotion inside of us becomes bigger and bigger and bigger.

It becomes a monster that we can't deal with anymore.

It becomes something so scary that we can't even touch it with a long pole.

It becomes so,

So,

So monstrous that we run away from it rather than even think about it.

Right?

And the more we do that,

The more we try to numb ourselves.

But if we can't just stop in that first moment or as soon as possible and realize,

Okay,

It's not as bad as it is.

Actually,

It's not as big as I thought it was.

Actually I can deal with it.

And so if you can do that,

It won't become that monster and you won't be running away from it for the rest of your life,

Which is what happens to a lot of us.

This video is already very long.

I just love talking about the subject so I could just talk about it forever.

But if there's something particular in this video that you didn't understand that you want me to expand on,

Let me know and I shall do a follow up video.

Okay.

Again,

Thank you so much.

And I would love if you shared your numbing techniques with us so that people can feel like,

Oh right,

I do that too.

If you don't want to,

Obviously you're not,

You don't have to.

If you're not comfortable doing anything that I ask you to do,

Obviously you don't have to.

Again,

Thank you so much for being on my channel and I shall see you the next time around.

Bye for now.