Debunking The Myth Of Lazy | How To Set Yourself Free

Hello and welcome to the Wild Free Well podcast.

I am about to share a very embarrassing story with you.

I just recorded this episode of the podcast 45 minutes long,

It had to have been at least,

And it was an absolute masterpiece and you know what happened?

For the first time in my life,

Now I'm checking like a mad person,

I did not record it.

45 minutes of pure channeled energy and it did not record.

It is heartbreaking.

So here we are,

Round two,

Doing it again.

There is no way that I'm going to manage to make it 45 minutes again because I do these episodes with no notes,

They come basically just straight from my heart and it's going to be very difficult for me to repeat exactly what I said but we are gonna give it a try.

So I am here today to talk to you about a very very important subject,

A conversation that I have been having with a lot of clients and now I'm checking like just a mad person like there's no way I'm just gonna keep looking at the screen because I need to make sure it's recording.

I am here to have a really important conversation with you about a conversation that I have been having with a lot of clients lately and the conversation is going to include me sharing what is inevitably going to be a deeply deeply unpopular opinion okay and this unpopular opinion which apparently is honestly the only kind of opinion that I have is going to be around debunking the myth of laziness.

So I want to start off by saying that I think that in general there is a collective kind of idea or feeling that we as humans are never doing enough.

I just need to take a sip of water sorry guys.

We are never doing enough and we always need to be doing a little bit more.

Now I talk about this all the time on the podcast I am literally a broken record and I would almost apologize for it but I you know shan't.

Basically part of this comes from the images and the things that we are engaging with.

Now that may be on social media in other cases it might be films or television shows where we are seeing an image of the way that people live their lives and we are comparing ourselves to that image right even though we know in our heart of hearts that that image is not true that it is not the whole story and that it is based quite heavily in this like fantasy of how life could be okay so that is often what we're being shown in marketing on television on social media whatever it might be and the problem is is that we tend to compare our very real and very messy lives with these kind of picture-perfect images that we see online or wherever and what ends up happening is there is this underlying feeling of we're not doing enough we're not doing enough we need to be doing more we need to be working harder if we just worked harder than life would look like that and we compare ourselves to these people because we see that they have these things that we want or they're doing these things that we want to do or they have a lifestyle that really appeals to us and we think that this person does this this and this and has that that and that and we want those things for ourselves and we assume that the reason why we don't have them is because we're lazy or we just aren't doing enough right and my own personal version of this is like not social media because I don't really engage with anyone on social media in all honesty but is I guess Hallmark movies I would be as close as it comes to me so like in Hallmark movies you see these people who live in these all-white houses and they have children and they have dogs and all white furniture and they're wearing their shoes inside and it's like that is no one's life that is no one's life for as much as I love Mila I do not have the capacity within me to be able to clean her in a way that would allow me to have an all-white house or like a white couch or any of those things that would last like about a week and then that dream would be dead so we know that these images are not real and yet we compare our real lives to these images okay and something that I will say about this discussion about us wanting to always do more be more have more and so on and so forth is that like sometimes we can't see the forest for the trees so something that we need in these situations is to have a really rock-solid sorry to have a really rock-solid support system because when we have a support system they are able to reflect back to us the things that potentially we can't see within ourselves so I feel very blessed to have my partner who on the days where I come out and I say oh you know I just didn't do enough I didn't get all the things done I had so much work that I wanted to do and I had to do this this and this and I only did about half or whatever you know he will come up to me and say okay but you did this this this and this is that not enough and he will kind of reflect that back to me and he will show me that line or that limit of enoughness that perhaps I wasn't fully able to see myself in the same way that I do this with him so my partner has a tendency to do too much all the time in every situation and I am pretty much near constantly telling him that he is doing too much now his natural energy is also to do too much so I have to be mindful of that because that's a part of who he is he is very multi-passionate very creative and he likes to have his hands in lots of things but it when it gets to an extreme where he's pushing too hard and it looks like it's veering towards being excessive at that point I say you know do you realize that you're doing too much it's not even that he's doing enough he's doing way more than is strictly necessary and he needs to calm down and so I reflect that back to him and having a support system that shows us what we are not maybe inherently able to see about ourselves is a really good way to combat the discussion that we are about to have okay about laziness so my unpopular opinion about laziness is that are you ready laziness does not exist the idea of laziness does not actually exist okay why well I mean what is laziness exactly laziness I think is almost the opposite of productivity but we need to be really mindful about that conversation because let's take an example of somebody who you know has a to-do list that's like ABCDFGZ okay they have this like massive to-do list and they are not they're not maybe accomplishing all the things on their to-do list and so they are calling themselves lazy the thing though is is that laziness is this kind of blanket term that is this kind of cover-all or catch-all for something that we are trying to avoid so it's this blanket term that we are using as a story that we are buying into that is kind of hiding the truth or the real story so you are not lazy what is actually happening is you are most likely having an emotional reaction to something that is going on in your life if we take the example of the person who has the like you know miles long to-do list the likelihood is that they are feeling overwhelmed by their to-do list and they are afraid of facing the to-do list or afraid of facing the overwhelm and so they have a little bit shut down okay they have shut down a little bit and they are avoiding facing the the the to-do list and they are calling that laziness because when we are having an emotional reaction to something and we don't fully know how to deal with it what sometimes happens is we just kind of look for a way out and laziness is a term that kind of justifies why we aren't doing something okay we're gonna come back to this in a second but if you are feeling overwhelmed then there could be another way to deal with this that is not the avoidance of doing something else okay taking a break and having a rest is not laziness this actually makes me so angry to even have to say okay but having a break sorry taking a break okay or like taking a pause or resting is not laziness okay it goes against what we are taught in the system that we live in okay the system that we live in prides itself on two things human beings that are producers and consumers okay and you need to be doing one of those two things you need to be producing via your work or consuming what other people have produced via their work and that is pretty much it so when we talk about resting people tend to use the term laziness when they rest this is so dangerous and so damaging and it is deeply deeply deeply untrue okay if you are resting could it be because you are actually tired because you actually need a break human beings are not machines we are not meant to go all the time we are not meant to produce all the time we are not meant to be in this constant go go go go go energy okay at all we are meant to slow down we are meant to take time and there is an energetic difference no between the person who decides to rest paint this picture with me okay there's a person the person who decides to rest who does so without guilt without shame and without judgment they're going to have a very different outcome okay and a very different kind of sense of satisfaction or restful experience than the person who is resting but calling themselves lazy the entire time because there are those days right where you just don't want to do anything you want to lie on the couch you want to scroll on your phone a little bit read a book watch a movie whatever it is right it doesn't really matter there are days when you want to do those things but if you're calling yourself lazy it is deeply deeply unkind and ungracious to yourself and it is taking away the value of you taking a break in the first place it's not it's certainly not eliminating the value but I mean it's not it's not as valuable as it would be if you were to actually just really sink into the juiciness of fully disconnecting and really actively taking a break okay taking a break is not a bad thing and we really need to normalize this in a culture that does not invite us to believe that there is nothing about our culture or the systems that we inhabit that applauds or lauds taking a break and this idea of laziness is also this cultural kind of paradigm that has been built up because we are valuable as human beings when we are producing and so another side of this argument is just this idea that like you are worthy no matter what is going on no matter what you are doing no matter how you show up you are worthy now you will be worthy tomorrow you will be worthy if you take two steps back it doesn't make a difference but we are not taught this we are taught that the only way to be truly valuable is to be doing something moving forward achieving more having more doing more being more and there's nothing wrong with that if that is a true desire of your heart okay if that is something that really speaks to you then there is nothing wrong with that but when we are moving towards these things somewhat blindly and because we are trying to meet these social markers or these social mileposts that are arbitrary and have been decided by who knows who even okay but that we've all collectively bought into that does not mean that we are lazy okay like we are not meant to be moving in that way all of the time and we really need to understand that laziness is simply this blanket term that we use to cover up a very real emotional reaction to something that is happening in our lives let's take the example of health okay I've been having a conversation with a client about this lately and about wanting to get into shape and you know she wants to get healthy and all of these things and like there's this idea that she is just lazy and if we are talking about health in general maybe exercising if you are not wanting to go to the gym let's say and you're calling that lazy what is actually potentially happening is that you know maybe you're afraid maybe you're afraid of going to the gym maybe you are afraid of not making a fool of yourself while you're there you know not knowing how to use one of the machines or or whatever it might be maybe you are afraid of not like knowing how to move in that environment maybe you're afraid of not having instant gratification from whatever you're doing you know that one day in the gym and then all of a sudden like you're hot and fit like we we have that in our society we're so used to the instant gratification that when we don't get it it can be quite jarring and so there's all of these kinds of there's all these emotional reactions that are happening beneath the surface but the only story that we're telling ourselves is that we're just lazy because we don't go to the gym when actually perhaps we don't like the gym perhaps that's not what our body is asking for right now maybe that's not what we actually need but we're kind of forcing ourselves again into this preconceived paradigm of what health looks like of how we get healthy because we get healthy by going to the gym I mean not necessarily but also we can that doesn't have to be the only option though and then there's also this idea of like I was speaking to another client about work and he was talking to me about how you know he's just not feeling very like excited by his work and it's not really it's not really speaking to him right now but he kind of just needs to you know get on with it and we've talked about this before on other episodes of the of the podcast this like kind of just do it attitude that tends to be really prevalent in masculine or people who are in a very energetically masculine moment of their lives or if they're operating from that kind of energy there's this idea of like I just need to get on with it I just need to do it and if I just do it it will get better and we know that that's not true because if there if we're not doing something it is also because we are having an emotional reaction to whatever that thing is that we are not dealing with okay but we call ourselves lazy and so in this conversation with him I said do you think that like it's possible that you you might be burnt out like does that feel like something that could be true for you because I wasn't diagnosing him or telling him what he was experiencing but trying to dive a little bit beneath the surface and he was just kind of expressing you know no I feel like I just kind of need to like just move forward like I need to find a way to do the things that I need to do and whenever we are doing that we are coming at ourselves with this punishing energy because we are ignoring the truth of what is hiding beneath this idea of being lazy we are not giving ourselves a chance to actually face whatever emotional reaction we are having because potentially we are afraid of what we will find maybe we're afraid of what that thing is maybe we're afraid that we won't be able to deal with it if we do figure out what it is but all that it's doing is perpetuating this kind of cycle of you not necessarily feeling very good about yourself and not being able necessarily to move forward it really just keeps you stuck it really keeps you stuck and then going back to what I said earlier we often use laziness as a justification and there's something so juicy about this like it's so good because if we are self-identifying as laziness okay so this is identity work if we are saying I am lazy okay we are calling ourselves that labeling ourselves that when we are self-identifying as lazy then it frees us up to have much lower standards to not show up in a way that we want to like we are just able to avoid a ton of things because all we have to say is oh well you know I'm lazy and this is another argument that I will say does not exist laziness the term lazy the word lazy all of these things do not exist they are simply a blanket term or a cover-up or a justification for avoiding whatever the emotional underbelly of this is okay and it can be scary but that's where the juice of life is is us being able to really deal with these things and if you are here listening to this podcast having this conversation with me I can promise you it is not because you are interested in bypassing whatever it is that is going on in your life because if you were interested in spiritual bypassing or spiritual candy or personal development light you would be listening to another podcast one that talks all about why something is magical but not how to actually do the thing okay and here we are always talking about the intersection of the idea of whatever we are talking about and how to actually move forward so here the how is really not even a thing because the idea here is mostly just about debunking this myth of being lazy or laziness as a term or as an idea and what I would encourage you to do is to sit with this and see if any of what I've said resonates with you and if it's pissed you off as it may have and it would have pissed you off a lot more in the 45-minute version of this podcast if it has pissed you off then please please please have a conversation with me because I would love to chat about this convince me that I'm wrong I would love for you to share an opposing opinion and tell me why you don't agree or tell me why you do agree with this idea whatever it might be let's have a conversation because that's how we learn that's how we get different facets of the scenario or of the situation how we're able to alter or expand our viewpoint and really grow as people so I would love to have a conversation about this but if this is something that has pissed you off or that you feel like you have resonated with in some way I want you to think about why okay you might hear what I'm saying and say oh this sounds like the truth and that is because there is a part of you that inside has already taken this idea on board there is already a part of you that knows and believes this to be true okay and one of the other things that I talked about in the original episode that did not record was this idea of us having a bigger cultural conversation we need to begin to ask ourselves why we are choosing to self-identify with these things in the first place why is this idea of laziness even a thing why does this exist and like part of it is to fuel us again in this constant battle of production and consumption and all of those things but it needs to be taken to an even broader level why are we not having a conversation about why certain things are considered productive or good or wonderful and other things are not for example why is rest so poorly viewed in the society I mean it's obvious because it goes against the production but what I'm saying is why are we not having a conversation about that like why are we working 40 hours a week now I understand that we could be having a conversation about like well I need to work 40 hours a week I have to pay for my bills I have to do these things yes and then also we need to be having a conversation about why that is you know why is it right now so difficult to afford things why is it that there are people out there who need to work two three jobs in order to survive why is it the norm that we are working 40 hours per week why and I understand that this podcast is not necessarily going to be the thing that changes the world and that's fine but it is a very interesting thing to think about the fact that we are not having these collective conversations where they need to be had we are not having these incorporations in multinationals at in politics with the government or whatever we are having these conversations behind closed doors but we do need to begin to question always first internally and then you know perhaps with other people and in a broader sense but we need to internally understand why we are buying into the stories of how things should be or how things are you know and and someone could say to me well that's just the way it is or something like well that's the way it's always been done let me tell you that there is no worse reason literally to do something then because it has always been done that way that is such a piss poor reason to continue doing something that doesn't necessarily make any sense on paper okay and that is not benefiting us as human beings as individuals it is potentially benefiting the collective to a certain extent it is certainly benefiting the individual that is at the top of whatever pyramid we all belong to okay but it is not necessarily beneficial to the individual human being for us to continue moving in this way and it is certainly not beneficial for us to continue perpetuating this story and I promise you it really genuinely is just a story of laziness because the only thing that it is doing is making us feel bad making us feel like we are never doing enough like we are not good enough as humans and it is perpetuating the myth that we need to constantly be producing but why why do we need to constantly produce to what end and also to whose end who does our production or our productivity benefit is it us sometimes okay maybe right like I'm being productive recording this podcast this podcast puts me in front of more people and it helps me potentially find new clients and stuff like that so yes potentially this productivity also benefits me but there is also a bigger story okay in the collective of our producing I would argue that my producing because I work for myself is less valuable than somebody who is working to produce for someone else because my production benefits mostly me and then I suppose the government because of the taxes right but it's not it's not necessarily benefiting like some kind of there's not really a huge pyramid here the way that there would be in like a corporation the way that there is even in the government itself so there's just we need to be having these conversations though about why we're choosing to buy into a story collectively like collectively buy into a story that does not serve us that keeps us stuck and that really only seems to benefit a few people in the grand scheme of things okay because I can promise you I can promise you with all of me that if you are able to release this story and stop calling yourself lazy it will benefit your life more than this punishing criticism ever possibly could if you are able to stop calling yourself viewing yourself and identifying as lazy you will inevitably be more productive that is not the point okay that is not why we are here having this conversation we are here having this conversation because the this whole idea of laziness in my opinion does not really exist it is not real it is just something that has become real and more tangible because we're all giving our energy to it okay but even if you are able to release this story you will be infinitely more productive in the long term for yourself and for your own benefit because productivity will shift productivity will look like taking a break it'll look like having the nap it'll look like taking the day off work taking a vacation going away and doing the things that you want to do for you and using those as fuel it will no longer be punishing yourself and basically whipping yourself saying you know you're lazy keep going you're lazy do more you're lazy blah blah blah blah that is not true and I have said this already but I will reiterate it you are good enough none of this discussion about laziness or productivity has anything to do with your inherent worth okay and if you learn to let go of the terminology of laziness if you refuse to buy into this story you will be just as worthy today and you will be tomorrow as you were before okay it doesn't matter where you are on your journey you are worthy regardless okay and it is about you tapping back into that but having this conversation with yourself where you are calling yourself lazy where are you are sort of punishing yourself in this way long term is going to have a very negative impact and it is going to make you feel small and bad about yourself and that is not what we're here for we're here to thrive we're here to live well okay I am so sorry and saddened that this was not the episode that I originally recorded because it was so incredibly magical but that's what being a human is about and I am here doing the thing anyways to the best of my ability and I hope that this episode resonated with you and that it landed and otherwise I just hope that you have the most deeply restful weekend and that you are able to really really release any thoughts any ideas of laziness and just sink into the juiciness that is really guilt-free rest and the and and the energy that that gives you and the fuel that it provides for you to move forward to go after all of the beautiful things that you want to achieve in your life that is part of the secret I love you deeply I am so grateful that you are here if you liked this episode you know that same jazz like share comment rate subscribe took me a second there to get those words out but yes I would love to I would love to engage with you and every time you do those things it helps me to reach more people and it just really means the world to me so if this resonated please by all means and yeah I will see you on the next episode of the podcast ciao