
How Self-Care Has Expanded My Day
by Alessia
In this episode, I talk about how implementing some self-care and self-love has helped me navigate the day after an emotionally charged weekend. I also talk about how I'm using self-care to move through some resistance that has been coming up for me in my personal relationships. Please note that this talk does contain explicit language and is not suitable for children.
Transcript
Just a fair warning that this podcast does contain some explicit language and so you should be mindful if you've got little ones around.
Thanks and hope you enjoy.
Hey guys,
I'm back and today I want to talk about how self-care has expanded my day.
I just want to get right down to it.
So I had a very personally challenging weekend where some things have happened in some of my interpersonal relationships.
And it's been a little bit difficult to kind of stay in a positive space and be in a loving sort of mood towards myself.
And so I really wanted to talk about what I was doing today and how I've felt.
So this weekend was very emotionally taxing.
I spent a fair amount of time crying.
I felt quite low energy,
Didn't really sleep very much.
And so I woke up today feeling a little bit down.
I knew that I was going to be working today and I want to admit I toggled with the idea of taking the day off.
When in the past I've had some emotional challenges,
I've really assessed what my energy levels were in terms of work.
Mondays tend to be my super busy day and I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to show up in a way that I could be proud of if that makes sense.
So in the past I have taken days off after emotionally challenging weekends in order to kind of just deal with the situation and sort of like put it to bed,
So to speak.
Because I'm not sure that there is a whole ton of value in pushing through and kind of maybe potentially pretending that what happened didn't happen or not fully dealing with it.
Because I know from personal experience and I've seen it with clients and with friends and family and just people in general that when we repress something,
It just comes back later.
And there's a quote that you'll see all over Instagram if you're into this kind of stuff,
But like what you resist persists.
And it's so true.
So in the past,
If given the option between taking some time and really dealing with like something that was emotionally challenging or difficult,
I usually chose to take the day off.
This time,
However,
I knew that ultimately what would serve me most is being in a space where I allowed myself to be distracted by my work.
I didn't feel that what happened was going to take away from the service that I offer or change the way I show up in my work.
And I knew that it would be healthier for me to show up in this way in order to not spend all day thinking about what happened and how I was feeling and so on and so forth.
Not because I'm numbing.
I want to be really clear because you'll see as I continue talking about this,
I haven't been.
But I do think that there are moments where escapism and numbing serve a purpose,
Where you can't deal with the same situation over and over again with the same perspective.
So essentially,
There's a quote,
I think it's by Albert Einstein actually,
That you can't look at the problem or you can't solve a problem with the same mindset that got you into the problem in the first place.
That was totally botched.
I'm really sorry I botched that quote,
But I know that it's something along those lines.
Essentially,
You're not going to solve a problem with the same thinking that got you into it.
Okay,
So I'm not going to solve the situation that I'm in or like heal my interpersonal problems by sitting here and reveling in the trauma of it all.
It really was for my highest good to show up today for myself and for my clients and to give myself some space from thinking about this all day.
In addition to that,
I want to share with you some other things that I have done today that have helped me really feel loved and cared for and to be honest with you,
Expansive in a situation that is otherwise quite stifling.
So one of the things that I've done for myself is I've given myself the space to grieve and feel what I'm feeling.
I'm really sad.
I explained that already that I've spent a lot of time over the weekend crying and I did not show up today with any expectations of myself except for to be where I'm at.
So I have allowed myself the space to be sad when I'm sad,
To cry when I need to cry and to gently move on to positivity when I feel like that moment of sadness or anger or frustration or whatever it might be is over.
I am where I am.
I feel what I feel and all of it is okay.
All of it is okay and I am safe.
The next thing that I've done is I've allowed all of this to unfold with no judgment for myself and for the people who know me closest,
I think that they would realize how truly difficult that is because I always know,
Especially being a coach,
That there's room for improvement,
That I could do better,
That I could show up as an even higher version of myself.
But today I have really granted myself the kindness and the space to not judge myself and allow myself to be exactly who I am.
So if I'm thinking bitchy thoughts or if I'm thinking angry thoughts or if I'm feeling sad,
I am not saying to myself that I shouldn't be or that there's a better path or that there's a higher road.
Is there a better path?
Is there a higher road?
Yeah,
Abso-fucking-lutely there is.
There always is,
Essentially.
And I know that and I see it with my clients and I understand that that's where I'm ultimately heading.
But I also understand that today is not the day to solve all of the problems that I have in the world.
Today is a day to be.
Okay,
It's a day to allow myself to feel what I'm feeling and love myself through it all and not judge,
Criticize or critique any of the decisions that I'm making.
Another thing that's been really instrumental today has been allowing myself to rest.
So whatever I've needed,
I've given to myself.
So if I needed a break,
A pause,
Some space,
A nap,
To read,
To watch TV,
To escape,
Whatever it was,
I gave myself that gift and did whatever my soul was calling me to do.
So today I have done kind of all of those things,
If I'm being honest with you.
I read and I read something to do with personal development because I know that that helps me raise my vibration.
It helps me feel better.
So I read and I also watch TV because I knew that I needed that while I was like eating or having coffee.
And I also napped after reading because it really like helped me relax.
So I got into that space and I allowed myself to work,
Actually.
So I allowed myself to do all these things.
And some of it was escapism and some of it was like trying to move forward,
You know,
By reading positive literature,
By diving into self-care and self-help and personal development.
And so much of it was nurturing because that was exactly what I needed at that time.
I also prayed and surrendered my worries to the universe.
Now,
Prayer is a little bit of a triggered word for me because I was raised in a Catholic household and I do tend to view that word as like praying to some like bearded man in the sky.
So it can be really hard for me to kind of resonate with that.
But I do really see the power of prayer.
It is just words that allow you to release what you've been carrying on your own to a higher power,
To someone else or something else or something bigger than you that can help lighten your load.
And it's so immensely freeing.
It's so,
So,
So freeing.
So today I asked to see the situation differently.
I asked to see the person differently.
I asked to see the situation with love.
I asked to begin to allow forgiveness into my heart and my life and to be willing to accept and see guidance and support in all its forms from the universe,
From the people around me.
Just in that feeling of lightness after I even asked for this or said these things.
And I really did also take the time to thank the universe,
Which sounds really crazy because I'm telling you guys that I was in a shit situation and that I've been crying all weekend.
But thank you.
Thank you for bringing this into my life.
Thank you for giving me life and letting me live it and allowing me to grow and see beyond what is currently in my life.
It's just I know that there's always another level.
I know that there's always more growing.
And I know that everything happens for a reason.
And that's another thing that I've been reminding myself of multiple times today.
It's just that this is happening for a reason.
This is happening for me,
For my greatest good.
And I don't need to be scared and I don't need to be sad.
I am sad.
I am sad.
And I'm allowing myself to be sad.
But it's not necessary because I understand,
Too,
That on the other side of this is something so much more beautiful and powerful than I could ever imagine.
And I just want to kind of share the effects of all of this,
Like all of these things I've been doing.
I feel I feel lighter and I feel freer and I feel like I'm not carrying the weight of the pain of the situation that I'm in alone anymore.
I feel like I've released it,
Like I've taken it out of my chest because that's 10.
That's where I tend to carry pain in my body.
I've taken it out of my chest and I've placed it in the care of the universe.
And I've said,
I can't carry this alone anymore.
Can you help me?
And I feel like I've been helped.
I've also moved from fear to love a fuck of a lot faster than I would have if I hadn't given myself this space.
So like all of this kind of just went down yesterday and it's less than 24 hours later and I feel better than I could possibly have imagined I would feel.
And I feel that way because I've allowed myself to be where I'm at and because I help.
I asked for help.
And it's just been remarkable because a lot of the anger and the frustration that I was feeling has dissipated because I'm not holding myself hostage in the situation.
I've allowed myself to let go.
I've allowed myself to show up as who I am and just do what I need to do to feel better.
And that has been like a huge,
Huge,
Huge gift.
On top of all this,
I've also received a lot of clarity about the situation and like what I really want and how I really feel and the ways in which I did not show up to the situation as my highest self.
Ways in which I would do better next time and mostly what I really fucking need in this situation and what I really,
Really need is to protect my vibration and make sure that I am keeping myself in a space where like I am my healthiest and happiest and able to constantly show up as the highest version of myself.
And I'm actually going to do a whole other podcast episode just on that topic alone.
So I'm not going to dive any more into that here,
But that has been like what's come from the situation.
Like I need to show up all times as my highest self.
And in order to do that,
I really need to be taking care of my vibration before everything else.
And the last side effect of like taking this time and space for myself has been getting some really cool business ideas.
Like you wouldn't assume that being in a kind of sad place or in a tough situation or having interpersonal problems would like be the kind of fertile ground for,
You know,
Business ideas and expansion.
But it really has been like today alone.
I've had like three different ideas for podcast episodes that like one of them being this one and they're all going to come at you.
And I really hope that they serve you.
But I just feel so grateful.
So,
So,
So grateful that giving myself this space has brought like growth and it's brought evolution and it's brought expansiveness.
And it's helped not only me grow,
But my business expand.
You know,
It's given me new ways to serve you guys.
And I'm trying really hard with this podcast to take the lessons that are happening to me as they're happening to me because I'm very much speaking to you all in the moment of what I'm going through.
And I'm trying to share my journey in the hopes that it inspires you or it helps you or it uplifts you and allows you to move forward in a new way in your own life.
And I really hope that that comes across and that these episodes really resonate with you,
Especially because if I'm being honest,
It hasn't always been easy to show up from this space.
It hasn't always been easy to be in the thick of it,
But sharing what's really going on for me.
But,
Yeah,
I just it's all to be of service.
And I really,
Really,
Really hope it does.
I really hope it serves you.
I'm going to leave you guys here with this.
A quick recap.
Today,
I've given myself space to grieve and feel what I'm feeling.
I've allowed myself to be exactly where I am.
I haven't judged myself for how I'm feeling or where I'm at.
I've allowed myself to rest and do whatever it is that I need to do.
So read or watch TV or escape in some ways,
As well as taking breaks,
Napping,
Pausing.
I've prayed and surrendered my worries to the universe.
I've asked to see this situation differently.
I've asked to be forgiven and I've asked to see the situation through the eyes of forgiveness.
And I've asked and received,
I think,
Guidance and support.
So hopefully these are things that you can implement in your own life and that you see massive change from them and that you grow and step into your highest self and live your happiest life,
Because we all deserve that.
And I want that for you.
And I want that for myself so,
So,
So badly.
I'm sending you guys so much love and I can't wait to connect with you again on the next podcast.
Take care.
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Nancy
December 2, 2019
Days to oneself work wonderfully, and not allowing our thoughts and situations to overcome everything, is good advice as well! Thx
