Accepting The Inevitable

Hello everybody.

This is going to be one of the more strange meditations.

Maybe strange,

It depends on what you've encountered so far in meditation,

And the discovery of yourself and in your life.

It's like we live in a life where we don't really think much about that death is inevitable.

And most of us don't really talk that much about it,

Because we want to just focus on things that are nice,

And things that make us happy.

And death is just not on that list,

It's just not part of our focus.

But it is inevitable.

I love that word,

I need to practice it more.

Inevitable.

It is inevitable.

And the reason for me meditating on death is primarily because of the training that I've gotten from the Buddhist tradition.

Especially the book,

Which is the Tibetan book of the dead,

Has meant so much to me.

And it's really because I've been so focused on wanting to be willing to feel everything.

And I definitely understood and acknowledged that there's a great part of me that doesn't want to have anything to do with death.

So I started practicing it,

Because I want to practice being able to feel everything.

So the meditation that we're going to do is going to be a meditation where we're going to use our imagination.

Just like with death and everything else,

Everything is about perspective.

Everything is about perspective.

What is it that we think about the things that we are relating to?

What is it that the associations are?

What does it make us feel?

What do we make ourselves feel when thinking about certain things?

So perspective.

And I remember reading the seven good habits of Stephen R.

Covey many years ago.

And there was this story about a man in the subway.

He was just staring out in the air and his kids were running around and making noise and being really rude.

And the narrative was really getting agitated.

Finally he just spoke to the father and said,

You know,

Couldn't you take care of your kids?

They're really being disturbed.

Or disturbing everybody.

And the man just looks at him really with so much sorrow.

And he just looks at him and says,

My wife just died an hour ago.

The mother of the kids.

So the perspective changes completely from agitation to complete,

You know,

Love and feeling compassion and really changing everything inside of the narrative.

The same goes for death.

So the focus for me is let's embrace what's inevitable.

I got it there.

Inevitable.

Let's embrace what's inevitable and then just practice using it.

Because it's,

I mean,

Using death as a mirror just makes everything so much clearer.

We see things so much clearer,

Especially if we embrace it every day.

We become so much more happy about our life.

Problems don't really become problems.

Becomes something that is inevitable also in life.

We need to deal with it or accept it.

So that's my perspective on death.

Let's use it.

We're going to face it sometime anyhow.

All right.

Let's get settled.

Let's get comfortable.

And for this meditation,

It's completely up to you whether you want to,

You know,

Sit down,

Lay down,

Stand up.

It's probably going to be tough,

But it's completely up to you how you want to,

You know,

Meditate.

Just get comfortable.

Just use your breath to just relax your body,

Relax your mind.

Just notice whether my introduction to this meditation has created somewhat of a disturbance,

And if it has,

Just see if you're able to say yes.

Taking a deep breath,

Just saying yes.

Just wanting to be okay with these kind of emotions.

Just saying yes.

Yes.

So we're going to start using our imagination.

We're going to move forward in time until we reach the part in your life where you've grown really old.

And the room that you're in is the room that you have,

You know,

That you're going to spend your last hours,

And that time has come.

And you find yourself in a bed surrounded by family,

Friends.

Just look at the room,

Just look at the curtains,

Or look at the colors on the walls.

Just notice the energy in the room.

The colors of the bed linen.

Just notice everything.

While you're doing this,

Just have a really calm breathing.

And now imagine yourself being in the bed.

And having a small smile on your lips and in your eyes.

At this point in your life you are very wise,

You are very accepted of whatever happens,

And especially death is just a snap.

It's just another change in your life.

There's no fear.

There's only love and acceptance.

And just look at all your family members,

Look at your kids if you have any,

Or siblings,

Friends.

Just look at their faces.

Take some deep breaths.

Just really feel calm and relaxed.

And with your hands to the right and the left you are holding hands with one of your grandchildren or one of your siblings or friends.

But you're feeling that connection through the skin,

Through the warmth of the hands.

And there's the deep sensation of connection and love.

There's the experience of not wanting to let go but knowing that you have to let go.

Your breath is still really calm and still a small smile on your lips.

And the room is just vibrating with good loving energy.

It's like despite your body being old and all wrinkled,

There's so much love and wisdom,

There's so much spirit.

And everybody's affected by this.

And for long periods of time there's no words,

There's just so much heart contact and love.

And when looking back at your life there's no regrets.

Not for anything,

Not for any of your failures or your successes.

There's just pure acceptance.

And you're proud of not holding anything back.

Just really looking at your life with great pride.

Love,

Love,

Love.

And notice whether you have some words,

Some advice to your family or friends or grandchildren.

Just feeling yourself,

Sharing it from the heart,

From the soul.

And everything practical is settled.

You've made it quite clear what songs you would love for them to sing in church or at your funeral if it's not in a church.

You've made it quite clear what food you would love for them to eat and really what kind of environment you would love for them to create as something that they do to honor you the last time.

There's just so much peace,

There's nothing else,

Everything is with your will,

Everything practical is in order.

This is just the final stage.

And also notice the gratefulness towards your body,

Your heart that's been pounding all your blood around your body from the very first heartbeat.

Grateful for your breath,

For the lungs,

Your limbs,

Your body,

Everything.

And also wanting to give your body peace.

It's been very loyal through so many years.

Love,

Love,

Love,

Love,

Love.

And slowly you start closing your eyes.

You know that you're not ready yet,

But closing your eyes just to feel all the love in the room,

All the love inside of you,

In your heart,

Your soul.

Now slowly get ready to leave this imagination,

Leave this part of your imagination,

That room,

Knowing that you can always come back to this room.

Just move back to wherever you're sitting now.

Move your body a bit,

Your fingers,

Your toes,

Maybe roll with your shoulders.

Keeping your eyes closed and calm breathing,

Small smile on your lips.

So I'm just going to say a few words and you can just be listening in a meditative fashion.

So practicing this kind of meditation also makes us practice the acceptance of the inevitable.

What is so important is to understand that when we say yes to things,

It's so much less painful than when we say no.

It's just like if somebody asks you to do something,

Let's say run a marathon,

It will be so much harder than if you choose to run that marathon.

So choosing to accept death,

Choosing to say yes,

That it is something that you can't get around,

That none of us can,

Is in my world so important.

Because it makes us able to live with less and less fear.

Less and less fear.

So looking in that mirror of death every day,

Reminding ourselves that we actually don't know how much time we have left.

It's not for us to get depressed and get stressed or anything like that,

It's just to really notice what is important.

What's really important for me now,

Today,

This next hour?

Is there somebody that I haven't spoken to for a while that I really miss?

Are there any last things that if something really happened fast,

That I would be grateful for having video recorded,

Recorded,

Voice recorded or written down?

So let's not wait with getting our stuff in order,

The practical stuff in regards to family,

But also all the emotional stuff.

It's the perspective.

So we're about to finish this meditation.

On a personal note,

Me and my wife,

We've been doing testaments,

Our kids are 11 and 13 now.

We've been doing testaments for many years and also video testaments,

Because being able to,

As a child,

Have something when they are ready to watch their parents with love in their eyes,

With smiles on their faces.

Giving them all sorts of life advice and telling them stories about our lives.

I can only imagine that I've been lucky enough to have my parents,

I still have them,

But I can only imagine that losing my parents at an early stage of my life would have been so hard and I would be so grateful for having things to read or to watch.

Thank you so much for doing this kind of meditation,

Which I think is very important and very powerful.

And I hope that it finds you in a good place in your life.

Thank you so much.

Bye.