Thank You So Much + Deep Breathing Training

First off,

Thank you so much for that crazy welcome on Inside Timer live yesterday.

That was my first session.

And I could feel the energy just bubbling.

And while I was sitting primarily with my eyes closed,

I didn't look that much at the comments.

I wasn't aware that we were that many.

It was like 181 people.

So I'm just really grateful.

And as I mentioned yesterday,

I'm doing these.

.

.

I have been doing these guided live meditations since January 1st 2020.

Every day.

So that's really creative a foundation for me to guide.

But it's in Danish,

So doing this in English is really good for me.

To practice and being able to get out there and share with you guys.

So what I noticed yesterday was that my breathing really.

.

.

I mean,

There was so much excitement and happiness and joy and kind of a fear.

But I don't know what the fear was about.

Maybe it was just excitement.

Anyhow,

What happened was that my energy system just like.

.

.

Started dancing and it was difficult for me to control the breathing.

So what I want to focus on today.

.

.

And it wasn't that it was uncomfortable.

I was just allowing it and accepting it.

What else could I do?

So there was just so much joy.

What I want to do today is really.

.

.

And this is a note to self.

This is to remember the deep breathing.

The deep breathing.

Really getting that nervous system to.

.

.

It's just like having a kid that's so excited that they just can't control themselves.

So doing the deep breathing can help us to just settle down,

Settle down,

Settle down.

Feeling the air,

Feeling the quality of the air.

Letting words arise,

Letting these resource persons arise that we spoke about yesterday.

And really,

Really soothing.

Stroking that nervous system,

That breathing,

Calming it down.

The heartbeat calming it down.

Well,

Just by my voice now you can probably hear that this is shift,

Right?

So the meditation today is really simple.

It's prolonging the in-breath,

Prolonging the out-breath.

And we can do so by focusing on the experience of the in-breath.

But more so by.

.

.

It's just like having a straw where if you gently put pressure on the straw you will narrow the intake of air,

The intake of liquid,

Right?

So we can do the same and it's by narrowing our in-breath,

The pipe,

Air pipe.

Not in an uncomfortable way.

But it's when we breathe in to make this hissing sound.

So if we just go for the hissing sound our body will instinctively do what it has to do in order to,

You know,

Restrict the intake of air.

And that will automatically prolong our in-breath.

And when we've filled up our lungs from the bottom to the top we'll just experience a small break,

A small pause.

And then again on the out-breath just prolong the out-breath.

Same hissing sound and just let it go,

Let it go,

Let it go until you've completely emptied your lungs.

And then experience a small break and then repeat.

So we're going to go ahead and start practicing this.

We're going to do four sets.

The first set is going to be three of these kind of breathings then a small pause,

Just relaxing.

And then we're going to do another one which is going to be where we time the in-breath and we time the out-breath.

So we're going to hold the time and let you know.

Then we're going to have a little break.

Then we're going to do another one with time.

This time we're going to,

You know,

Prolong the in-breath and out-breath a little bit more.

And then the last and fourth set is going to be where we don't time anything.

So the goal is not to,

You know,

Grab your watch in time but starting out with stuff,

Having to learn stuff,

Taking time can be a challenging way of doing it.

It can be fun.

So if I tell you that if you do this for a year,

And I know that a year might seem like a long time but it's repetition and time passes by fast,

Right?

But in a year you will be able to do in-breath 60 seconds,

Out-breath 60 seconds or 75.

Out-breath is usually a bit more.

Okay,

So if this sounds interesting to you,

Please just get settled,

Get comfortable,

Get ready to meditate on a prolonged in and out-breath.

So just closing our eyes,

We'll just do some warm-up,

Closing our eyes and just getting settled.

And just start noticing your in-breath.

And just notice whatever comes to your attention on in-breath.

It could be the temperature of the air going in,

The sensation of the air down through your air pipe into your body.

It could be the sensation of the stomach rising and the lungs expanding.

The organs being pushed outwards.

The ribs being pushed outwards as well as you continue the breathing up in your chest.

And that sensation of the shoulders rising a bit because you're putting pressure,

Air pressure,

Having your lungs expand all the way up.

So let's just take a minute or two just to experience our natural breathing without enforcing anything,

Without pushing any air or anything like that.

And please do remember to relax your eyes,

Your eyelids,

All the muscles in your face,

Jaw.

Okay.

Okay.

So you might have noticed that,

Well,

Many different things depending on like the way that your nervous system,

Your attention system works.

But the important thing that when we start doing this,

That everything is okay.

So if thoughts arise,

It's okay.

If plans arise,

It's okay.

If emotions,

Strong emotions arise,

It's okay.

I mean,

We can't do anything about it anyhow.

It's there,

Right?

What's the.

.

.

I mean,

We don't gain anything by fighting it or not wanting it there because it's there.

So it's okay.

Let's just accept it and go back to our breathing.

All right.

So what we'll do is that we'll just start easy in the first set.

So.

.

.

And it's mainly just to,

You know,

Tune in on the part which has to do with taking time on your in-breath and your out-breath.

So we're going to start out easy with just 15 seconds on in-breath and 20 seconds on out-breath.

And I'll take the time.

.

.

You know,

Do the time control here.

So get ready now to just,

You know,

Just focus on your in-breath and out-breath for a prolonged time.

When inhaling,

Inhale as if you're narrowing your air pipe and creating this hissing sound.

You'll probably be able to hear my hissing sound.

So just get ready and also on the out-breath,

Same thing.

Just take it easy.

If you get dizzy,

Just slow it down.

If you get finished before,

Just wait.

And let's remember that we're just practicing.

We're just,

You know,

It's.

.

.

We're just having fun,

Experiencing,

Practicing,

Learning.

All right.

So we're going to start up in five seconds.

So in-breath starting now.

And out-breath starting now.

Okay.

And then just a small break.

And as I say,

Just take it easy if you feel that it's,

You know,

Those 15 and 20 seconds,

It's a bit too much.

Then just do what you can.

The idea is not to rush into it.

The idea is to experience what it does to us,

What we do to ourselves in creating this kind of breathing.

Nice and easy.

All right.

Let's get ready for the next set.

So we're going to do the same.

We're going to do 15 on in-breath,

20 on out-breath.

So we're going to start in five seconds.

So in-breath now.

Out-breath now.

All right.

Well done.

Let's just take a small break.

Just notice whether our,

You know,

Body feels okay,

Our mind.

As I mentioned,

If this is new to you,

You might feel a bit dizzy.

If you do feel dizzy,

Don't,

You know,

Don't panic.

It's a waste.

When we do this,

We put a lot more oxygen in the blood.

The positive side of this is that our breathing is responsible for around 73% of all the disposal of waste from our body.

So that's a very important thing to keep in mind when doing this kind of practice is that we're actually enabling more cleaning of all the waste from our body.

So it's in the in-breath and out-breath that this process happens.

And you can imagine having a lot of breathing,

Shallow breathing will be like not really emptying the garbage can,

Just emptying 50% of it,

Which is stupid.

So it's stuff like that that's definitely motivating me to think of this as an important,

Important thing.

All right,

Let's get ready for the third set.

And we're going to push it a bit.

So if you feel that 15 and 20 is just fine,

You'll just do 15 and 20 again.

But we're going to push it to 20 on in-breath and 25 on out-breath.

So just do what you can.

And on the other hand,

If this is,

You know,

You can easily do 40 on in-breath and 60 on out-breath or 50 on out-breath,

Just go ahead and do that.

The great thing is just being,

I mean,

Doing this together right now.

Right.

All right.

So let's get ready.

So we're going to start.

And what you can do when we like pushing it a bit is that before you take the in-breath,

Just do a small out-breath.

That way you're really emptying your tank,

Your lungs,

Getting ready to do the long intake of 20.

And the out-breath on 25.

OK,

So we're going to start up with in-breath now.

Pause and out-breath now.

All right.

Just a small break.

Just take some deep breaths and just relax your body.

Just notice again,

What is it that you are experiencing doing this?

And not from a mental perspective,

More from emotional body perspective,

Physical.

OK,

So let's get ready to do the last in-breath on 20,

Out-breath on 25 seconds.

And we're starting our out-breath,

Sorry,

In-breath now.

A small pause and an out-breath now.

OK,

Great job.

Well then.

So just take some breaths,

Deep breaths,

Maybe move the body a bit or the shoulders.

And what's really helpful is that remember that small smile?

Just a small one.

I mean,

Just one that you wouldn't even notice from outside,

But you definitely notice it inside.

So it's the way that we perceive things that is so important for us humans.

So perceiving this as something good and even though it might be difficult and a bit uncomfortable sometimes,

Then just remember that small smile.

Not a,

You know,

I'm not asking you to be untrue or false or anything like that.

Just a small,

Natural smile.

OK,

So we're getting to the last set.

And the last set is the one where we don't time anything.

So now we've built this up for a bit.

You've gotten the hang of it.

Remember that everything is difficult when we start and it's just a repetition and everybody can do repetitions.

There's nobody in the world that can't do repetitions.

Everybody can.

So we can all learn this.

There's no science,

You know,

It's not rockin' science.

So you've gotten the hang of it.

You understand what it is that you can do and also what the effect of it will be.

So before we finish off today,

I'll just add some things.

But for now,

We'll just get ready to do three,

Three breaths,

Three in and out breaths,

But at your own pace.

So just experiencing the prolonged in-breath,

Prolonged out-breath,

Small smile,

Relaxed eyes,

Eyelids,

Jaws.

And it can actually help so much just to open up your mouth really,

Really high and then just closing it,

But not closing it entirely.

Keeping just a little bit of air between your lips,

Your teeth and having your tongue relax inside your mouth.

So these small things are really important in order for us to relax the most and just experiment with it.

OK,

So let's do three now and just do it in your own pace.

You'll probably be able to hear mine,

But just focus on your own.

All right,

Let's do that now.

Really feel that soothing of your body and nervous system,

Your mind,

Thoughts,

Emotions.

OK,

Fantastic.

So just relax,

Get ready to finish off and I'll just share some different things that you can add to this.

So I'm a strong believer of daily practice.

So if you want to change something,

You need to do something and you can decide to do this once every day for the next 60 days.

It might seem like a long time,

But let's remember there's only now,

Right?

So it's just a decision every morning.

Do I want to do this breathing one time today?

Yeah,

I want to do that.

And you just need to do that every morning for 60 days.

Make that decision.

So you can make a decision to do this.

Just one in-breath,

One out-breath a day.

That will mean so much more than not doing it at all.

So the way that we build up muscles is by pushing,

Putting pressure on them.

And that way they tear a bit.

They create scar tissue and they get stronger.

Same thing here.

We push it a bit.

The kind of scar tissue that we create is having the bodily experience of being OK with this kind of breathing.

So what you can do is decide to practice this once a day for X amount of days.

And I'd love to hear from you afterwards,

Like after the seven days or 14,

What your experience is.

So I remember reading this book many years ago and I'm sorry,

But I can't remember the author.

But his statement was that one year of conscious breathing will do the same as 10 years of psychotherapy.

So I'm a bit greedy,

Right?

Because I'm thinking,

What if I can do it consciously,

Go to therapy and do all the other crazy stuff that I'm doing?

And it just makes me happier.

It makes my family happier.

Friends,

Colleagues and so on.

So the second thing that you can decide to do is add a word on the in-breath.

You can add a word.

It could be love.

It could be surrender.

It could be any word that you associate with something positive.

On the out-breath,

And that was what my talk about yesterday,

Talk on meditation was about,

On the out-breath,

You can choose a word which is the opposite.

It could be sorrow.

It could be frustration or anger.

It could be something else.

The reason for doing this is that when we are in this kind of state and we really create a grounding and a love for ourselves,

We can start working with the positive emotions and the negative emotions and start creating a balance between these two.

So when we do experience the positive,

We can experience them even more intense.

When we do experience the negative,

We can experience them even more intense,

But without panicking,

Without withdrawing,

Without contracting.

And then we will be free.

Then we will be free.

We're not going to be able to skip the part of being uncomfortable and feeling the fear and all of that.

That will still be a bodily,

Emotional,

Psychological reaction.

But we're just going to meet it with love,

With compassion,

With acceptance.

So you can choose to practice that as well.

One word on in-breath,

One word on out-breath.

The third thing that you can decide is to add a resource person.

And the resource person is all about,

You know,

In your meditation,

Having this one person arise,

A person that could be a friend,

It could be a family member,

It could be a deceased grandparent,

It could be whoever arises.

And then without words,

Creating a contact with this person,

Eye contact,

Emotional contact,

Create a big hug with this person.

If tears arise,

Let them arise.

All the love,

Love,

Love,

Just let it fill you.

And then have this person stand behind you with one or both hands on your shoulders and really feel and embrace all that safeness that you can feel.

So imagine practicing this in and out-breath.

Imagine practicing the in word and the out word.

No longer distinguishing whether something is good or bad,

But just accepting it.

Imagine having this person behind you and really experiencing the safeness,

The nervous system feeling all relaxed,

But at the same time strong and feeling togetherness and connectivity.

And then with this practice,

Bringing it out into the world.

So in situations where contraction arises,

Where uncomfortable situations arise in relationships or in other situations,

Then experiencing your body and mind all by itself,

Starting to breathe calmly,

Starting to use words,

Starting to feel this person behind you.

And I'm talking from 100% personal experience and 100% theoretical experience with clients throughout the past 12 years.

Do remember that take it easy.

Slow is fast with stuff like this.

Slow is fast.

There's no need and it actually just makes it more difficult to rush in.

Daily practice.

That's my advice.

That's what I hope that you go for.

And then all the other things that I said.

Thank you so much for being with me.

I it's the weird thing is that you're not in front of me,

But I feel that you are.

I feel that you are here with me and I really love being able to do this and really appreciate you being there.

So thank you so much.

And I hope to meet you at one of the live sessions on Insight Timer or maybe who knows,

Sometimes real life.

Thanks a lot.

Bye bye.